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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25434256">One Last Time</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachesandream/pseuds/peachesandream'>peachesandream</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>One Last Time Trilogy [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Levi Ackerman - Fandom, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, 進撃の巨人 | Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan (Movies), 進撃！巨人中学校 | Shingeki! Kyojin Chuugakkou | Attack on Titan: Junior High</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Completed, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Drama &amp; Romance, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Original Character(s), Romance, Secret Relationship, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Smut</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 06:48:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>231,120</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25434256</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachesandream/pseuds/peachesandream</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Captain Levi was never one for romance nor serious relationships and he liked the idea of staying alone for the rest of his life. But everything changed when he met Maria. An ex-tavern dancer who along with other women, are the new house attendants for the Survey Corps dorms. Levi and Maria have a normal boss and employee relationship, few words are exchanged whenever they talk.  One day, certain circumstances led them to share an intimate night together. Levi is certain that their relationship is based solemnly on lust and the heat of the moment ... Or so he likes to think. </p><p>⚠️Warning⚠️</p><p>This story contains graphic sexual content and other sensible and explicit topics that might not be soothed for all audiences ... viewers discretion is advice. Mention of rape and mental health issues as well. </p><p>This story contains: SMUT/ LEMON </p><p>You have been warned, if you don't like these type of stories, don't read. Thank you.</p><p>Attack on Titan and Attack on Titan characters are property of Hajime Isayama.</p><p>Story: COMPLETED </p><p>♥️MANGA SPOILERS FREE ♥️</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Erwin Smith/Original Character(s), Erwin Smith/Original Female Character(s), Levi &amp; Original Character(s), Levi &amp; Original Female Character(s), Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Original Character(s), Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Original Female Character(s), Levi x Maria, Levi x Maria (OC), Levi x OC - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>One Last Time Trilogy [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2270453</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>125</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>372</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Want to Read</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The meeting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For a moment it seemed like time had stopped until the carriage moved uncontrollably. It was usual to find rocks and bumps on the road but this time the carriage made such a commotion that it made all the passengers inside hit their heads with the top part of the wheeled vehicle.</p><p>Rain poured down from the skies as if the gods were crying and it only made the passengers sigh in disappointment.</p><p>"I can't believe we are going to live with the Survey Corps from now on," said Lisa as she moved a string of her blond hair and tucked it behind her ear. "And to be their maids nonetheless! We are tavern dancers, not cleaners."</p><p>"And that's exactly what they want us for!" Leah rolled her green eyes in annoyance at her friend's naiveness. She took a quick look outside the window, they weren't near the Survey Corps headquarters just yet. "Yes, they want us to clean but not only that ... I am sure we are there to satisfy their soldier's needs."</p><p>"What do you mean?" Lisa asked.</p><p>"To put it simply, male and females soldiers are fucking but it's dangerous, someone can get pregnant. If a girl gets pregnant they are unable to fight, therefore they are losing more soldiers for their expeditions," Leah responded. "We are tavern dancers, most of us fuck for a living too. So, we are there for their entertainment and to decrease the pregnancy between the female soldiers. After all, who cares if a whore gets pregnant, right?"</p><p>"The sad thing is that we are not even going to be getting paid as much as we used to ... I mean I guess we are getting free food and a safe place to live."</p><p>Lisa looked over to her right and noticed that her other friend was awfully quiet. Her brunette friend was looking outside the carriage's window her brown eyes adverted into the vast forest that served as a distraction from the fact that their lives were changing.</p><p>"Personally, I wouldn't mind fucking a man if he asks nicely ... Or what do you think?" Lisa asked out loud to get her friend's attention who was still very invested in looking at nature. Seeing that she was still daydreaming and that she didn't hear her, Lisa called her name.</p><p>"Are you alright, Maria?"</p><p>.<br/>.<br/>.</p><p>While Levi was enjoying his new title as Captain and leader of the Special Operations Squad, he hated how he had to re-clean everything on the whole dorm because it seemed like his team wasn't capable of doing it properly the first time. Every squad had their own small dorm to attend to, just like a house. Five rooms, one for each member, one restroom, a storage room, a kitchen, and a dining room. It was small but it provided the members with everything they needed. Privacy, a place to sleep, shower, and eat.</p><p>But of course, they rarely cared about cleaning at all or if they did, it was all poorly done.</p><p>On the bright side, Levi heard from Erwin that the Survey Corps dorms will be getting some extra hands to help clean and cook for the scouts. Although at first, he saw it as a waste of sources and money, now it didn't seem like a bad idea.</p><p>As humanity's strongest soldier was mopping the floor like there was no tomorrow, he heard knocking coming from the entrance door. Three knocks to be exact.</p><p>"Petra, the door!" Levi screamed as he thought that moping the floor was more important than opening the door at the moment.</p><p>But nothing.</p><p>And again, three knocks.</p><p>"Eld the door!"</p><p>Nothing. Knocks again.</p><p>"Oluo! Gunther! You, shitheads, open the damn door!"</p><p>But nobody went to open it.</p><p>Levi sigh in disappointment and in anger. This is why this place was never fully clean because on the free days that his team had, they used it as resting days to go to town and have some 'fun' time.</p><p>He stomps his way to the door and opened it and if it wasn't because he can control his strength he would have broken it a long time ago.</p><p>"What?" He asked automatically and he was surprised it was raining, he probably didn't notice it before because he was too concentrated on cleaning.</p><p>"Um, hello ... My name is Maria and I am your new designated house attendant."</p><p>Levi cursed mentally, great another tall person to deal with. The brunette girl was probably 5'6 or 5'7 which was above average for the females he knows. Good thing is that she looked like in her mid-twenties so there was no more room for her to grow. Her brown hair lay down on her shoulders and it was probably so long that it touched her lower back. He could tell that she was extremely tired, her brown eyes blinked in frequency. She had dark circles under her eyes and if Levi didn't know better, he knew that she will fall asleep at any second.</p><p>But, did he care? No.</p><p>What matters to him was her dirty dress. The bottom was filled with mud and her shoes would undoubtedly stain the floor he had just moped.</p><p>"Pick up your dress," he said.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>Maria placed her luggage in front of her out of instinct. She felt a heat go through her cheeks. When she worked at the tavern, men would be straight forward with her nonetheless she wasn't expecting to be approached so immediately ... Especially, by a guy who is supposed to serious and in control all the time. Where they that needed?</p><p>"And take off your shoes, I don't want you dirtying my floor," Levi left the door open to let her pass inside. Maria reacted quickly and she felt more embarrassed that she had thought that the small guy wanted something with her at the moment.</p><p>"Yes, of course."</p><p>Maria did as she was told and immediately took off her black shoes and let her white socks touch the wet floor. She picked up the edge of her dress and her shoes with one hand and with the other she held her suitcase. After she entered, Levi closed the door behind them and walked back towards the dining room. Maria followed him closely and noticed that the short man was walking to another room. He opens a wooden door that was next to the dining room and stood there.</p><p>"Are you going to sleep standing there or are you going to follow me into your room."</p><p>"Yes, of course!" Maria said again as she took small running steps towards him.</p><p>"Stop saying that already."</p><p>The brunette entered the room and passed by Levi who was holding the door open for her. It was a medium-size room, there were a bed and a small desk with a chair. There was a closet as well but what caught her attention the most was there was a food stand, boxes, bags, and more food cans. There were a lot of cleaning appliances as well.</p><p>"This is the storage room, there is no other room in the house," Levi said. He had to admit that it wasn't as clean as he wanted it to be. Although he was the one who cleaned this place, he didn't get enough time to clean it thoroughly. His only hope was that this girl was good enough to clean her room.</p><p>"It's fine," Maria said as she placed her suitcase on the bed. Levi noticed that she was struggling to open it as she was still grabbing on to her black shoes and the edge of her dress with one hand. But most importantly, the mud from her dress was starting to drip off to the floor.</p><p>"Take off your dress."</p><p>Maria then immediately dropped her shoes and her dress, making Levi irritated because the motion of the moment made a lot of the mud and dirt of the dress fell off to the ground.</p><p>"I know I used to work in a tavern but I don't offer those kinds of services sir," Maria said really trying to keep a strong stance but she found herself a bit intimidated by the short guy.</p><p>"If you don't offer services then what the fuck are you doing here?" Levi's voice was threatening and in all honesty, he wasn't in the mood to discuss. This girl was supposed to be helping clean this house but instead, she was just making the floors dirty.</p><p>"I can do anything else! I can cook and clean and-"</p><p>"If you can do anything then you can take off that dirty dress of yours." Levi crossed his arms, he wasn't backing away. What was wrong with taking off her dress? Was it the only one she had?</p><p>"But sir-"</p><p>"No, buts. Take it off, now."</p><p>Levi was about to walk out to give her some privacy but he immediately stops the moment he heard a suppressed sob. The girl had small tears in the corner of her eyes, threatening to come out. What was going with her?</p><p>"Please ... Don't make me do this."</p><p>Her voice made Levi feel immediately guilty and the worse part is that he didn't know what he did wrong to make her feel bad. Alright, he is not the most welcoming person but he was just asking her to take off her dress so she wouldn't dirty the floors. That way she doesn't have to clean them later, less work for her.</p><p>"Oi, you were brought here for this reason," Levi said as he tried to make his voice softer and less intimidating. "But you need to take off that dress, you are making my floors dirty. If you don't have any other clothes to wear, I'll lend you some."</p><p>"Wait, what?"</p><p>"Take off that dirty dress while I get you some clothes."</p><p>With that Levi made his way out of the room and closed the door behind him. When he left, Maria sat down on her bed still not believing what she had just done.</p><p>
  <em>"God ... I am an idiot."</em>
</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Maria had already changed to another dress. A brown dress with a white collar and buttons. It had no under petticoat which allowed her to move freely and the longitude of it reached to her knees so it won't get dirty with dust nor mud. A very simple dress, just like the one maids wear.</p><p>She heard a knock and she thought that the guy would just enter but he didn't, meaning he was asking for her permission to come inside her room.</p><p>"You may come inside," she said loud enough.</p><p>"I brought you some clothes, they are a bit large but they are the only thing that I have that might fit someone of your height," Levi entered the room as he looked at his folded clothes on his hands. However, his attention was taken by the girl in front of him, she was already in a new dress. "I thought you didn't have clothes ... Anyways, I'll leave this here in case you need them."</p><p>He placed the folded clothes on her empty desk and turned to look back at her again.</p><p>"Thank you," Maria said. "Are you hungry? I can cook dinner for you."</p><p>"No, but if you are hungry go ahead and cook something for you," Levi walked back towards the wooden door. "After that, you should rest. Tomorrow morning you are starting your duties."</p><p>"Yes, of course, sir."</p><p>"Just call me Levi."</p><p>"Yes, Mr. Levi."</p><p>He rolled his eyes in annoyance and let out a frustrated sigh. This brat had a lot of of learning to do. With that, Levi left the room, it was time for some alone time. Just him and a cup of black tea was waiting for him.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>It had passed sometime after Maria finished placing her clothes inside the closet. She and her co-worker friends had to leave their town so fast that Maria didn't have enough time to pack more clothes. Not like it matters too much since the guy from the Survey Corps who had recruited them told them to only take one suitcase. Maybe she could start saving some money or look for some old rags where she can sew dresses from.</p><p>She had expected to meet more people but to her surprise, she only found Levi in this small dorm. It was a pretty big establishment for only one person, so Maria assumed that the other residents of the house must be somewhere else.</p><p>Now that she settled down, it was time for some explorations. She wasn't hungry but she decided to take a look at the kitchen first, the brunette wanted to know where everything was placed so tomorrow could start well by making breakfast.</p><p>She opened the wooden door and it immediately took her to the dining room.</p><p>The dining room had only a table large enough for five people to sit in. It was illuminated enough, one candle in the center of the table and other candles on the corners of the room. There was a window in front of the room and Maria saw the moon had already raised in the dark sky.</p><p>But there was more.</p><p>Levi was siting on a chair on the dining table, a cup of tea on his hand. As Maria got closer, she noticed that the cup was empty, but the leftover aroma was that of black tea. A newspaper spread across the table and Levi was already in a deep sleep.</p><p>The guy didn't seem too threatening now. His face expression, although still very strong, it wasn't as concerted as before. His soft breaths could be heard by Maria and she felt bad for a moment to ever thing wrongly of him.</p><p>But could you blame her? After all, anyone who knew that she worked at a tavern thought that she was on the pleasure business as well. Of course, she didn't but she already had enough trouble with men as it is.</p><p>Maria went back to her room and open her closet where she found one of her handmade blankets. She planned on using it tonight but the blanket that was already provided on her room should be enough for now.</p><p>She went back to the dining room and found Levi sleeping in the same position still. Extending her blue blanket, Maria placed it on top of Levi's body as softly as she could as to not wake him up.</p><p>Levi ... She didn't want to make it obvious but Maria had heard a lot about him. Her brother used to admire him a lot and would talk about him on a regular basis. The only thing that her brother wanted to do was to achieve greatness ... She was a completely different story. Maria was nothing but a simple girl, not destined for greatness.</p><p>Now that her brother wasn't here, the only thing that she wanted was to help those who could achieve it.</p><p>And she knew for a fact that Levi ... Well, not just him but everyone at the Survey Corps was capable to achieve great things. And if her only way to help them was to cook and clean for them, then let it be it.</p><p>"Rest well Mr. Levi."</p><p>Maria let out a soft whisper as she left the dining room, ready to take a look at the kitchen.</p><p>Little did she know that the short man was awake when she said so.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>When Maria had finished inspecting the kitchen, she went back to her room and changed to the clothes Levi lend her. She didn't have any comfortable clothes to sleep in and since he went to all the trouble to get her the clothes she decided it was better to make good use of them.</p><p>She remembers that Levi had mentioned that the clothes could be oversize. It may be big for a guy the size of Levi but her not so much. The brown baggy pants adjusted well to her waist but the edge of the pants reached sightly above her ankles. The brown pants seemed to be used before due that the brown color was fading because the pants were over washed.</p><p>The white long button sleeve shirt was looser, this one had a certain fragrance she couldn't quite describe. Was it black tea? Mixed with ... mint? She didn't know what exactly it was but there was no question about it, this shirt was indeed Captain Levi's.</p><p>It was the middle of the night and Maria was already peacefully asleep until she heard knocks coming from her door. She took a few seconds to make the numbness go away but she let out a small yawn as she opened the door.</p><p>Captain Levi was there again and he looked the same as before. Did he even go to sleep in his room? Now that she takes a closer look at him, it seemed like he was even wearing the same thing from a few hours ago.</p><p>"Is there something I can help you with Mr. Levi?" Maria asked as she rubbed one of her eyes.</p><p>"Can I stay here for a while? My shit heads may come any minute now and I want to surprise them."</p><p>"Your shit heads?" Maria opened the door and step aside to let Levi inside her room. She watched him take a sit on the front of her desk.</p><p>"My squad went to town today, probably to a bar to get drunk. It's 4 am and they know we have training tomorrow," Levi said as he watched Maria take a sit on the edge of her bed, facing him. "This happens more regularly than you think ... After their night ends, they come back here and usually come to the storage room to get some canned sardines or some shit."</p><p>"Oh, so they would have stomp into my room uninvited."</p><p>"Exactly," Levi added as he made a short pause as he realized that Maria was wearing the clothes he had brought her earlier. "Those brats need to learn some respect. I maybe not be their captain for the weekends but I sure am during the rest of the week."</p><p>Maria let out a small smile, she didn't know what exactly was but a part of her told her that Captain Levi was more worried than anything. Yes, he was angry that they were late out at night without his permission, but the fact that he is going to such lengths to reprimand them means that he indeed cares for his team.</p><p>"Must be hard to be a Captain and Leader of a squad."</p><p>"The hardest part is creativity ... After a while, you run out of punishment ideas."</p><p>The brown-eyed girl couldn't reply. Although she let out a small giggle due to his commentary, there wasn't much she could say. Levi picked up on this and before the atmosphere would become awkward he came up with a question. After all, if she was going to stay with them, he might as well get to know a bit about her now.</p><p>"You said you worked on a tavern ... How did you end up here?"</p><p>Maria was surprised, she wasn't expecting him to ask anything related to her. "Well, my brother was 9 and I was 15 when we ran away from home. I never got an education so the only place I could get a job to sustain myself and my little brother was a tavern."</p><p>"Abusive parents?"</p><p>"No ... Just very strict. You see, my dad was a teacher but he thought that girls didn't need an education. Just be pretty and do chores to get a good husband. So I never went to school," Maria looked up to the ceiling. She didn't mind talking about her but she didn't want to bore Levi either with her stories. "When my brother was born, my dad focused his time and money on his education. Meanwhile, I stayed with my mom and she taught me how to cook, sew, clean ... Everything I needed to know to be the perfect wife."</p><p>Maria looked back to find that Levi was extremely invested in her story. His elbow was placed on the desk next to him as his hand softly held his left cheek. The scenery made her blush a little but she continued with her story.</p><p>"But they became really angry when they found out my brother wanted to join the cadet training program to join the Survey Corps ... So, we ran away ... And then my boss was found to be conspiring against the king. The tavern was closed by the Military Police , we were left without a job and that's when the Survey Corps came to looking for us."</p><p>"I was aware that the Survey Corps hired people to work here but I didn't know that they hired everyone from a tavern-" Levi was suddenly cut off as he heard small footsteps approaching them. "It seems that our chat has to continue later ... Let's stay quiet for a bit."</p><p>Maria, again did as she was told.</p><p>Levi looked at his left and noticed the candle placed on Maria's desk. With a quick blow, he turned it off and waited.</p><p>"Oluo! Be quiet the Captain can wake up!</p><p>"We are hungry Petra! Eld and I are going to the storage room to get something."</p><p>"Just be quiet, I am taking Gunther's to his bed."</p><p>And suddenly, Maria's door was open. The brunette quickly looked at Levi who placed his index finger in front of his mouth, making a signal for her to stay quiet.</p><p>"Eh? Who are you?" Oluo asked as he came inside her room with a candle. Eld followed from behind and he was as well carrying a light candle with him. Maria stood quiet as she was still sitting on her bed.</p><p>Eld was now next to Oluo, both of them standing in front of Maria."Hey lady, I don't know who you are but you are not allowed to stay here."</p><p>"You are the ones who are not allowed to be here."</p><p>Eld and Oluo froze the moment they heard their Captain's voice behind them. As if they were in a scary movie, both males turned slowly to face Levi who was looking scarier than usual.</p><p>"Captain Levi! I thought you would be sleeping by now," Eld said as he scratched the back of his head. Oluo went back to be his usual self. He rolled his eyes in annoyance and embarrassment.</p><p>"Tomorrow we start training by running ten laps around the flower fields," Levi said. The door was open next to him and he opens it wider to invite his friends to go out. "Now, get out of this room, Maria is tired and we are bothering her with our petty problems."</p><p>Both soldiers nodded and walked out of Maria's room. Levi was the last one to leave and before he closed the door he only gave the girl a sympathetic look.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>The next morning, Levi's squad couldn't be worse. Hungry and with a horrible hangover. Levi was the one to wake them up as there was some news he wanted to share with his team in the early morning. Now everyone was sitting in the dining room, half asleep and half awake. All of them wore their pajamas.</p><p>"What do you think Captain Levi wants to talk about?" Gunther asked with his eyes closed.</p><p>"I don't know ... probably to scold us?" Petra said as she tried to cover her eyes. The sun was starting to come out and the sunlight coming from the front window was hitting her face directly.</p><p>"He is probably going to talk to us about his girlfriend or something," Eld said a bit of disbelief in his voice.</p><p>"What? Girlfriend?" Petra was almost out of her chair when she heard Eld's words.</p><p>"Yeah, we found her in the storage room with Captain Levi."</p><p>Oluo who was sitting next to Eld saw this as his opportunity. He was aware of the crush that Petra had for the Captain and this could be the moment he needed to make his way into the girl's heart. "Did you noticed that the girl was wearing Captain Levi's clothes? Do you think that they two ... Well, you know."</p><p>"I don't see why they wouldn't, they had the house alone for themselves and Captain Levi is a man, he has his necessities after all-"</p><p>Eld was then suddenly interrupted by Petra who had slammed her hands onto the wooden table. "No, Captain Levi is not like that!"</p><p>"You brats are already so noisy in the morning?"</p><p>Levi made his presence known with a classical sarcastic remark. Unlike the rest of his team, he was already dressed for training. The classical uniform for the Survey Corps, white pants, white shirt, brown boots, and his jacket.</p><p>Humanity's strongest soldier walked towards the dining table where he took his regular seat. Everyone was looking at him as he took a sit in the middle of the table.</p><p>The air was tense but the click and clack of heels approaching them filled the room and made the atmosphere less tense.</p><p>"Good morning everyone!" Maria said as she came out of the kitchen. She was wearing the brown dress she wore yesterday. The only difference was that there was a white apron tied around her waist. Her hair was down but a tied bandana around her head prevented hair from coming in front of her face, except for her hair bangs. "I've prepared breakfast for all of you, I'll bring it right away."</p><p>"This is Maria, our new designated house attendant ... Maria, this is my squad. Squad, this is Maria ... Try not to bother her too much," Levi said as he looked at the girl who standing in front of the window.</p><p>"If you guys ever need something from me, just tell me. I'll cook, clean, and run any errands for you at any time."</p><p>Maria expected some type of acknowledgment of her words but instead, she was met with nothing. She had always thought of herself to be an average looking girl but at this moment, she wasn't.</p><p>Her brown hair, caramel eyes, she had good skin, not perfect but still good. Her lips were average size and her eyes looked more tired than anything else. Maria didn't have the perfect figure either, she wasn't skinny nor fat, just in-between. Compare to the female soldiers, Maria felt ashamed and even intimated by their good looking bodies.</p><p>But wow ... The sunlight reflecting on her figure and face made her look angelic.</p><p>And everyone noticed this, even Levi.</p><p>Due that there were no words exchanged and the stares were making Maria uncomfortable, she decided to proceed with her duties.</p><p>"Well, I'll be bringing out the food now."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>After everyone was done eating breakfast, they went back to their rooms to get changed. The only one left in the dining room was Levi who had also finished eating. Maria entered the dining room and was fast to start picking up the plates from the table.</p><p>"Did you eat?" Levi asked as he watched Maria pick up the plates.</p><p>"Yes, I ate in the kitchen," She responded as she proceeded to pick up Levi's plate.</p><p>"Why didn't you eat with us?"</p><p>"Oh, I just thought it would be more proper for someone like me to eat in the kitchen," she finally finished picking up all five plates and water cups. "Besides there's only enough space for five people in the table."</p><p>"Next time eat with us, we will figure out something for the table spacing."</p><p>Maria smiled at him, the small guy always looks angry and could be rude ... but he wasn't that bad. "Thank you, Mr. Levi."</p><p>The brunette went back to the kitchen and soon after she came out again but this time she was holding a cup of tea in her hand. She walked directly to Levi and placed the tea cup in front of him.</p><p>"I made some black tea for you, I hope you don't mind."</p><p>Levi was surprised, this woman might be a little bit of a brat in the beginning but she was picking up stuff really quick. Maybe having her around wasn't that bad and once he teaches her the way he wanted things done, she can become a pleasant guest in their house.</p><p>The black-haired man took a sip of black tea out of the cup. "Thank you."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>The squad was already all done and ready to go training as planned. Petra, Oluo, Eld, and Gunther were waiting for their Captain on the front of the door, which was very strange. Levi would always be the one waiting for them, he was the first one to be ready and be by the door.</p><p>Soon enough, Levi was walking towards them with the woman taller than him following from behind.</p><p>"I'll have diner ready for when you all come back," Maria said as she opened the door for them.</p><p>"Very well then, we are taking off," Levi responded.</p><p>"Take care."</p><p>Levi looked at Maria's eyes for a few seconds before nodding and exiting the house. The others followed as they also said their goodbyes to their house attendant. They gave Levi his space, he was in front of them while the others walked behind him trying to make as little noise in their conversation. They were heading to the stable to get their horses but still, they couldn't deny what had happened earlier.</p><p>"Are we just going to pretend we didn't see that look they gave each other?" Gunther said in a low tone to Eld and Oluo.</p><p>"Also that the Captain looks ... Strangely in a good mood?" Eld added.</p><p>"I am telling you, I am sure yesterday night they fuc-"</p><p>"Shut up" Petra said and that immediately stopped the talking between her friends. "If Captain Levi hears you he is going to add to our punishment ... and besides, I think he was just being nice."</p><p>"Come on Petra," Eld said. "When was the last time you saw Captain Levi be nice to someone?"</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Levi's Special Operations Squad was still running around the tulip flower fields. He would have joined them if it wasn't because this was a punishment. The black-haired man  began to notice that other soldiers were starting to make their appearance as well. After all, the Survey Corps training grounds were right in front of the 100 yards long tulip flower field. The good news is that they were almost done with their ten laps.</p><p>The 5'2 inches tall man then heard soft steps coming towards him, grass being crushed as the person got closer.</p><p>"Your team stayed late in town again?"</p><p>Erwin had made his way next to Levi and he didn't even flinch at his sudden appearance.</p><p>"Yes ... They don't learn, no matter how much I punish them," Levi replied as he kept an eye on his team running.</p><p>"Don't be hard on them, they are young after all."</p><p>"They still have duties they most full fill," Levi replied.</p><p>"It wouldn't be bad for you to relax from time to time, you are young as well. Enjoy that while you can."</p><p>Levi let out an angry sigh. Erwin wasn't wrong, being in his late twenties was a thing that was only going to happen once in his lifetime. Nonetheless, it did bother him when people told him he should be having 'fun'.</p><p>There was a silence that was filled thanks to the air passing by. The wind dances around the grass and the leaves of the trees creating a sweet melody of instant peace.</p><p>"Are you enjoying your new house attendant?"</p><p>The silence was interrupted again by Commander's adviser Erwin Smith.</p><p>"She has a lot of learning to do but she was alright yesterday and this morning," Levi said. "I'll teach her some stuff once I get back home.” There was a specific way Levi wanted things to be done around the house. How to properly clean was an art and it took time to master all of it.</p><p>Erwin let out a cough, if it wasn't because he was a very controlled person, he would have fainted by now.</p><p>"I didn't know you were so ... needed," Erwin said, he looked over at Levi who still had his normal unpreoccupied face. "Well, we brought those women from the taverns for that purpose too."</p><p>"Which brings the question ... Why saloon girls? Wouldn't it be easier just to get whoever is available?" Levi asked, this time it was his turn to look at Erwin.</p><p>"Don't you know? There was an increase in pregnancy among female soldiers in our squads. We are hoping to decrease the number by bringing in females who are capacitated on satisfying a man's needs," Erwin added, "But of course, everything has to be consensual."</p><p>"Eh?" Levi had now stopped paying attention to the punishment implemented on his squad. He now focused only on Erwin's words.</p><p>"So, you are telling me that those girls were brought here to clean, cook, and be sex workers?"</p><p>"Yes, everyone knows ... but as I said, it has to be consensual. They won't be forced to do anything they don't want to do."</p><p>After Erwin said 'yes' there was nothing else Levi wanted to hear at the moment. Flashbacks of the night before were crossing his mind and if he could, he would scream at this moment.</p><p>
  <em>"Take off your dress."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I know I used to work in a tavern but I don't offer those kinds of services sir."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No buts, take it off."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Please ... Don't make me do this."</em>
</p><p>Now Levi understood why she was almost on the verge of crying last night. It wasn't because she didn't have any other clothes to change to, no. It was because she thought ... that he wanted to ...</p><p>
  <em>"God ... I am an idiot."</em>
</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Moment</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was already late afternoon when Levi and his squad were done with training. Commander of the Survey Corps, Keith Shadis and Erwin, one of his advisors, had planned to go on an expedition outside the walls soon. Of course, a lot of preparation was needed and training was mandatory for everyone. Training increased the abilities of soldiers and therefore their survival rate increases.</p><p>    Normally, the Special Operation Squad would be able to handle the training at ease but added that their Captain had made them run and other things along with the training, they were too tired to even walk.</p><p>"We are home."</p><p>Levi felt strange saying that. Usually, there was no one at their house to say that to. But now that Maria was here, it just felt like the right thing to do.</p><p>"Welcome home," Maria appeared from the kitchen and from the distance saw Levi coming inside the house with his squad following him. "Diner is ready, you can all take a sit and I'll bring the food out."</p><p>"I am sorry Maria but I'll pass," Petra said as she began to walk towards her room. "I am too tired, I'll go to sleep."</p><p>"Me too," Gunther said. He genuinely looked sorry and Maria felt bad for them. They must be too tired.</p><p>"Hey, brats show some respect," Levi looked the same. Actually, he didn't look as tired as the rest of his team. "Besides we can't afford to waste food."</p><p>"It's alright!" Maria said. "If you want I can bring the food to your room."</p><p>"That will help a lot thank you," Eld smile at the brunette before going off to his room. Little by little they left and the room became quiet and Maria went back to work.</p><p>As she was taking the food she made to Levi's squad, the Captain made his way to the dining room. It smelled different. Usually, when he was the one cleaning, the room always smelled like soap. The dining table was clean, almost to perfection. It was clear that Maria got really busy during the day. Levi questioned if she had cleaned his room as well, not like there was much to clean anyways, his room was always impeccable. Also that he didn't want her going inside his room, maybe he could take this time to clarify some rules with the girl.</p><p>As he approached the table, he noticed that there was a flower vase on top of it. Lavenders, so that's why it smelled different. It wasn't that he disliked the smell, he was more surprised at the fact that someone was putting that much effort. He sat down and for a complete moment, he was totally invested in the flower arrangement.</p><p>"Here Mr. Levi."</p><p>He was once again caught off guard, Maria placed a bowl of soup in front of him. She had finished delivering the food to the other residents of the house and decided to serve Captain Levi his fair share of food.</p><p>Levi wasn't a picky eater, all the contrary he could eat pretty much anything. However, he couldn't deny the fact that the soup did wake up his appetite. It was hot, and some herbs were added to the orange liquid, the smell of spices reached his nostrils and he was mesmerized that something so simple could make his mouth water. </p><p>It was something small, but the effort that was put into it made it special.</p><p>"Have you eaten?" Levi asked out loud before Maria could take her leave to the kitchen.</p><p>"No, I haven't"</p><p>"Then get yourself a plate and join me."</p><p>That sounded more like an order than a request and Maria, as intimidated as she was at the moment by the short man, she quickly did as she was told. She was fast, it was a matter of just going to the kitchen and serve a bowl of soup for herself. That wasn't the problem, the problem was when she went back to the dining room.</p><p>Where was she supposed to sit? Next to him? No, that would be too close, they don't even know each other that well. In front of him? No, maybe he gets offended? A seat away from him? No, that would be weird. Two seats away from him? No-</p><p>"Just sit already, dammit it."</p><p>"Yes, sir!"</p><p>Maria didn't think too much about it and sat next to him. He had his space in the middle of the wooden table while Maria sat next to him on the other side, close to where the corner of the table is.</p><p>It got quiet really quick. The brunette wasn't one to like awkward silence, if there was one thing she hated the most was not having a conversation. She wouldn't mind the silence if it was a comfortable one but because they knew so little about each other, it was complicated to achieve such a moment in such a short amount of time.</p><p>And so, she decided to break the silence.</p><p>"How was your day?"</p><p>"Fine."</p><p>"Was training hard?" Maria tried again.</p><p>"No."</p><p>Well, at least she can say that she tried. Maria decided to focus on eating her soup, on anything but the short man who sat next to her.</p><p>"I'll be straight forward with you,"</p><p>His voice got her attention again and she made the mistake of looking at him in the eyes. There was just something about them that made her feel instantly nervous.</p><p>"There are some rules that you need to follow," Levi said. "First, don't enter my room, I can clean it myself. If you want to clean the other's room, just ask them if you can. Your duty here is to clean and cook, only that. Nonetheless, that may change from time to time, you may run other errands like going to town and get food supplies."</p><p>Maria could only nod at everything he was saying and Levi had to stop himself from looking away in annoyance ... She was just strangely too excited about this job.</p><p>"There's a way that I like things to be done when it comes to cleaning. For example, washing clothes. Tomorrow I'll teach you how I wash my clothes so you can do that from now on," Levi made a pause. He wasn't sure whether or not he should add the following but seeing that there was a misunderstanding yesterday, it might as well be needed. "Lastly ... I know that sometimes I can be intimidating."</p><p><em>"Sometimes?" </em>Maria thought.</p><p>"But, rest assured that unless something is within your duty as house attendant, I won't ever force you to do something you don't want to do," Levi said. "So, if you ever feel like you are being pressured by me or anyone else ... Don't be afraid to speak up."</p><p>If there was one thing Maria could confess at the moment, it would be that she had the wrong impression of Captain Levi. Maybe there won't be a day where they become the best of friends. But definitely, they could reach the day where they had mutual respect and care for each other.</p><p>"I want to be clear with you too," Maria was still a bit embarrassed that Levi was looking directly at her. However, she mustered the courage and looked at him straight in the eyes. "I want to help everyone, I want to help you as much as I can. I want to become someone people can rely on. So, please don't underestimate me... Don't ever hold yourself back from asking me for help. I'll do whatever it takes if that means I can be of service to you."</p><p>Maria kept looking at Levi and for a moment she regretted saying her words. He only looked at her and kept staring more intensely. As if he knew that the longer he stared, the more blush there would be on her face. The brunette began to look around the room and as to escape her current situation, she decided it was better to pretend she wasn't hungry anymore.</p><p>"Well, I am not hungry anymore, so I am going back to the kitchen and finish washing some dishes!" Maria said as she stood up from her seat. She mentally cursed under her breath as it seemed that her words came out more quickly than she expected.</p><p>She took a few steps until Levi's voice once again caught her attention.</p><p>"Maria, would you mind serving me a cup of black tea?" Levi asked, he was still finishing his soup and wasn't directly looking at her. "I need to finish reading some documents, I'll be up for a while."</p><p>"Yes, of course."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Maria was ready to go to sleep if it wasn't because she had forgotten about the handmade blanket she had lent Levi yesterday night. She knew that he was still awake, doing some type of paperwork in the dining room.</p><p>She exits her room and immediately found Levi sitting on the same chair he was on a few hours ago. Still drinking his black tea, the only difference was that there were multiple documents spread across the table.</p><p>The tall girl approached him slowly and immediately, her attention was drawn to the papers. Looking that she was too focused on them, Levi decided to intervene.</p><p>"Those documents are confidential, so don't read them," Levi said.</p><p>"Even if I wanted to, I can't," Maria replied. She noticed that Levi was looking at her with a puzzled expression on his face and decided to expand on her previous statement.</p><p>"I don't know how to read nor write ... I was uneducated, remember?"</p><p>Levi did remember, however, he thought she would have the basic knowledge of reading and writing. Maria looked like the type who would want to learn that by herself. He didn't judge her, after all, it has only been a couple of months since he mastered reading and writing himself.</p><p>"My brother tried to teach me, but I was too busy working all day and night to actually retain information," her eyes lowered as if she was remembering a distant memory. She let out a small giggle, not really meaning her words. "You must think I am an idiot, right?"</p><p>"No, I just recently learned how to read and write as well," Levi stopped reading as he placed the document he had on his hand on the table. "And I am sure I am older than you, so there's nothing to be ashamed of ... not everyone has the same opportunities."</p><p>"Mr. Levi, can I ask how old you are?"</p><p>"28," he responded as he took another sip of his black tea. "You?"</p><p>"24" Maria said softly, she wanted to smack herself. She had completely forgotten the reason she had come to bother him. At least, there won't be an awkward silence. "Sorry to bother you, but yesterday night I left a blue blanket in here-"</p><p>"It's in my room, it was quite comfortable ... Do you want it back?"</p><p>"Well, yes but ..."</p><p>Maria looked at the papers again, she knew that this might be crossing the line but she had to give it a try. "If you like it, you can keep it ... But in exchange, can you teach me how to read and write?"</p><p>Whenever Levi thought that this girl couldn't surprise him more, she always came up with new things. Only a few seconds passed in which it seemed like an eternity for Maria.</p><p>"I am sorry, I am too busy most of the time and-"</p><p>"No, no it's alright! I am so sorry, I didn't know what I was thinking. You have important things to do, please don't mind me," Maria instantly blushed and Levi would be lying if he said he didn't find it amusing the power he had to embarrass the woman. "You can keep the blanket too! I'll just make another one."</p><p>Levi felt a sense of guilt run through his body. He would normally deny the gesture but seeing that yesterday the blanket helped him get more time of sleep, it was too good of an offer to decline it.</p><p>"Thank you for understanding, my apologies again," Levi said.</p><p>"It's alright if you need anything or feel hungry or something, just let me know," Maria smiled at the short man before going back to her room. "Goodnight."</p><p>"Goodnight."</p><p>With that, she left.</p><p>Levi thought that now that she was gone it would be easier to focus on his work.</p><p>But it wasn't.</p><p>Whenever he tried reading the documents in front of him, Maria would just pop in his mind.</p><p>He still felt guilty that he denied Maria's request. But it wasn't just that. It was the small details. Her reactions, her mannerism, the way she would blush, and get embarrassed whenever he looks at her. For him, it was normal to feel the looks of other ladies on him. After all, he was aware that he wasn't bad looking and having the title of 'humanity's strongest soldier' added him extra points, even when he thought it was dumb, still helped him to be popular among women.</p><p>It used to be the same with Petra, but as time passed she got a better hold of her emotions and mannerisms. Now, she only saw him as her Captain and he saw her as a reliable teammate.</p><p>Or so he thought.</p><p>Hopefully, with Maria, it would be the same. He had to admit that she was pleasing to look at and from time to time it was nice to appreciate her simple beauty. But even Levi knew that not much won't be happening between them. Maybe once they were comfortable with each other, a small teasing or small flirting would go around. Nonetheless, he knew he wasn't one to play those games either.</p><p>The only thing that bothers him was the fact that she was wearing his clothes as pajamas. Which it wasn't bad, he lent it to her for that reason. What bothered him the most was that she looked better on his clothes than he could ever do.</p><p>And it wasn't like she was showing too much skin or anything like that. Actually, the only thing showing was her collarbones and ankles due that the baggy pants were small for her.</p><p>But it was just perfection to him, exactly the type of thing that he likes. It would be a pleasure to see her clean while using his clothes. Seeing that something was clean or that people were cleaning was oddly satisfying to him. If he were to combine cleaning and Maria wearing his clothes and her lavender smell ... then ...</p><p>Levi quickly shook the thought away from his head. What was wrong with him? They had only known each other for two days. But even he couldn't deny the fact that there was a certain attraction between the two. Maybe because he was an attractive man and she was a pretty woman. But he definitely didn't have any feelings for her. He was just a man who thought a woman is attractive. It happened all the time.</p><p>And that was about it.</p><p>There was only one thing for sure ... This won't be the last time he thinks of her.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>The next day wasn't any different from the day before, the only difference was that Levi had gotten home early. He told the Commander that he needed to go home due to 'important matters' and that meant 'teaching Maria how to wash his clothes properly.'</p><p>He found the brunette doing her daily chores but immediately stopped her and took her to the closest river.</p><p>It was a quiet walk, just the sound of grass dancing with the wind, the water running through the river, and Levi wearing a bandana. Just when you think he was the most serious person in the world, Levi would come up with the most particular type of outfits for cleaning.</p><p>"You gotta scrub only 10 ten times, no more, no less. If you do it more than that the fabric will begin to tear up," Levi said as he soaked the white shirt into the river one last time.</p><p>"Like this?" Maria asked as she pulled a blue shirt out of the river's waters.</p><p>"When it's a colored shirt, you only scrub it 7 times or the color will start to fade," Levi added. "After you are done with each item, you place-"</p><p>"I place them in the basket and in between, I add mint leaves on the clothes and take them back home, put them in the outside clothesline as soon as I can so the clothes can dry properly," Maria had a cocky smile as she looked back at Levi who was next to her. "Right?"</p><p>Levi let out a sigh and found himself letting out a small smile. "You learn fast."</p><p>And like that, silence overtook the atmosphere. But this time, it wasn't awkward. Maybe because they were too busy washing clothes or because there wasn't complete silence. They could hear the grass moving, the leaves of the trees around them falling. Water running down the river, the scrubbing of the clothes, and Maria's hair softly moving along with the wind.</p><p>Her hair's aroma made its way to Levi's nose. She smelled like lavender ... if there was something that Levi appreciated about Maria was that she always smells clean. After being around sweaty and dirty people in the Survey Corps, it was pleasant to be around someone who smells good. Without mentioning that it was nice talking to someone about normal things instead of having to talk about titans and the faith of humanity.</p><p>Yes, those things were important and honestly, his whole life was based around that. But a change in routine was good in a while ... or so he thought.</p><p>It was strange for him ... to like something that was out of his routine. It was probably because cleaning was involved, that had to be it.</p><p>"Is there anything specific you would like for diner tonight?"</p><p>The silence was interrupted by Maria's voice. Levi knew now that she wasn't one to keep her quiet if she felt like the situation was becoming awkward.</p><p>"I am not a picky eater ... Anything is fine," he replied.</p><p>"Mmmm ..." Maria took a few seconds before responding. "Then, I'll make you my brother's favorite dish ... Pasta!"</p><p>Levi kept scrubbing clothes on the river's waters. It is obvious that Maria's brother is important to her. But somehow, something felt wrong.</p><p>"You said that you used to live with your brother ... Where is he now?" Levi asked. He placed the white shirt he was washing on the basket and added a few mint leaves. He decided to place one of the mint leaves on his mouth, for some reason he just became self-conscious. Was he smelling good? Did he look clean? Did his mouth have a good smell?</p><p>"He was part of the Survey Corps ... He passed away last year during the outside wall expedition." Maria said she had finished her pile of dirty clothes. "He always wanted greatness and what better way to get it than saving humanity? It's sad but I like to think he died knowing he did a great job defending humanity ..."</p><p>A few seconds passed as Maria remembered a past memory. "You didn't know him but he admired you a lot."</p><p>"So, what are you doing here?" Levi asked. He knew he should have started the question with a<em> 'sorry to hear that' </em>but in all honesty, he wasn't one to feel pity for people.</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"Your brother died last year, nothing is tying you down to this place. You worked in a tavern, so I am sure you must have some money saved ... Why don't you leave and start again somewhere else?"</p><p>By now, the two had finished washing clothes. They were peacefully sitting on the grass, Levi had his legs extended on the left, facing away from the river. While Maria sat gracefully on her brown dress, facing the river.</p><p>A peaceful moment, shared by the two of them.</p><p>"You see," Maria spaced out a little as she watched the river flow. "I am not special, I have no gifts, no talent. So, how can someone like me benefit the world? By helping those who can actually achieve greatness, helping those who can make a change in the world!"</p><p>"So that's why you are so damn annoying."</p><p>"What?</p><p>"You are always trying to please everyone," Levi looked away. "You are always asking if we need help or you are offering your service."</p><p>"But, have I been good? Have I been of help to you or the others?"</p><p>When Levi saw a worried expression on her face, he just couldn't stand it. Did helping others matter that much to her? Didn't she have any other purpose but that?</p><p>"You are alright."</p><p>The words came out of his mouth when he wasn't looking at her. He didn't dare to do so and after a few seconds passed, Levi was starting to get worried. Was she going to start crying? God, he definitely didn't have the time to deal with crying girls.</p><p>"I am glad."</p><p>But this wasn't the case. Yes, Levi had forgotten that she too had suffered. She didn't have the luxury to cry over a petty comment. There were many things about this woman that just amused him. Maybe it was the way her hair moves with the wind. Or the way she smells like lavender or maybe just maybe ... it was the way she was smiling at him.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>The way home was quiet and it was already dark when Levi and Maria came back from the river. The Special Operations Squad came back from training and they too were looking forward whatever diner was.</p><p>Everyone wanted to question where Levi and Maria were but the moment both of them entered the house with baskets of clothing, they knew that they went to the river. Much to Petra's dislike because she wanted to be the one to spend time with the Captain.</p><p>Maria was done with serving everyone the pasta she had made. It was as if Levi's squad knew the drill, they would always sit in the same place. Captain Levi would be in the middle, the center to show off his status. Eld to his left and Petra to his right. Next to Eld was Gunther and next to Petra was Oluo. It was always the same and it was even cute to Maria, they looked like a family.</p><p>She was about to return to the kitchen but Levi stopped her midways.</p><p>"What did I tell you about eating in the kitchen?" Levi asked as he crosses his arms in front of his chest. He looked like a little kid, throwing a tantrum because he didn't get what he wanted.</p><p>"Um, there's not enough space, besides I don't mind eating in the kitchen-"</p><p>"There's space, right next to me."</p><p>Gunther almost chocked on his pasta while Oluo was about to spill his water. They never expected their Captain to actually move a little to his left. There was enough space to put one more chair but they would be too close. Probably their shoulders would be touching and if there was something Maria didn't want to do was to have contact with him.</p><p>"Are you sure? Because we would be very close and-"</p><p>"Yes, I am sure."</p><p>Levi was as unobvious as he could be, he didn't think there was anything wrong with his words nor the way he said them. Actually, he thought that he was being nice by letting Maria sit next to him.</p><p>But of course, not everyone thinks like him. All the contrary, it just reinforced the idea that there was something between the Captain and the house attendant. Only a few seconds passed but it seemed like an hour had gone by. Stares, black eyes looking at brown ones and mouths open in awe.</p><p>"Actually!" Petra was the one to break the awkward silence. "I was thinking that maybe Maria and I could go take a bath together at the hot springs ... I know you haven't eaten but-"</p><p>"Yeah, sure! I am not that hungry anyway so if you are finished eating we can go now!"</p><p>Levi let out an annoyed growl as he moves back his chair to its previous position. Still, not eating, just his hands crossed in front of his chest.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>It wasn't a cold night at all but still, the hot spring emitted vapor due to how hot the water was. Not a lot of people were used to hot springs but the few who did enjoyed them deeply. It took around 30 minutes for Maria to get used to the water, now her body was deeply soaked underneath the hot water. Petra was good as ever and although there was a small pink on her cheeks, she looked to be comfortable.</p><p>Maria had to admit that Petra was an extremely pretty woman. She knew for sure that the woman in front of her had her fair share of men going after her. Petra was beautiful, with a unique almost blond hair color, nice skin, and a good body. Maria couldn't help but look down at her own and notice the body rolls she had. She started to feel self-conscious about her body and her achievements but there was no need to compare herself with Petra. In the end, the result was evident, Petra was a woman of greatness.</p><p>"Have you being enjoying your stay?" Petra asked suddenly, making Maria snap out of her thoughts.</p><p>"Yes, everyone is really nice to me," the house attendant smile, reassuring the beautiful girl.</p><p>"I am sorry, I've been a bit distant the last days but I am just busy and tired," Petra added, "I am sure I'll get back to normal on the weekend."</p><p>"Don't worry about it, I understand. I am sure Mr.Levi really keeps you busy."</p><p>"Yeah, does he keep you busy?" Petra asked.</p><p>"Excuse me?"</p><p>"I mean ..." Petra looked around the place in nervousness. She knew this was a bold assumption but she just needed to know if her suspicion as well the other's were right. "I heard that the House Attendants that the Survey Corps brought used to be tavern dancers ... and you know most tavern dancers are in the pleasure business as well so..."</p><p>Petra took the courage to look at Maria who was waiting for her to finish her question. It was now or never, the moment of truth.</p><p>"Have you and Levi ... You know ... have had sex?"</p><p>It seemed like Maria didn't understand the question at first, either that or she just didn't believe Petra had actually dared to ask her such a thing. Both girls blushed and Petra wanted nothing more but an answer.</p><p>"No, of course not!" Maria responded so loud that anyone within a mile could have heard her.</p><p>"Really? It's because Oluo and Eld said you were wearing Levi's clothes the first night you came and-"</p><p>"He just lent me those clothes because I was dirtying the floor with my muddy dress!" The blushing was still visible in Maria's face. "Nothing is going on between Mr. Levi and I and there will never be."</p><p>Petra's face completely changed, Maria didn't know that she had such a gentle expression. Now she realizes something. Before, the female soldier was looking at her in a threatening way, but now it was completely different. She looked friendly.</p><p>At that, a theory popped into her mind.</p><p>"Do you ... Love Mr. Levi?"</p><p>Again, a silence.</p><p>Touché.</p><p>"Am I that obvious?" Petra asked. She looked down at the water surrounding her naked body. When Maria thought that Petra couldn't be more beautiful, there was a glow in her eyes that made her face shine brighter.</p><p>"Otherwise you wouldn't be so interested in my work relationship with Mr.Levi."</p><p>"I've had feelings for him for quite some time now ... but no matter what I do, I don't think he will ever notice me."</p><p>Time had stopped for a moment and the only thing that could be heard was the small sounds of crickets hoping. The night birds singing and the sizzling of water evaporating into thin air.</p><p>There was a sadness in Petra's face that was just painful to look at. Her eyes looked watery and the blush on her face was getting bigger and her upside-down smile implied so much inner pain that it left Maria speechless.</p><p>She must really, really love him.</p><p>Since the beginning, she had come here to help everyone, that was her purpose. And this was it, this could be her way to help Petra.</p><p>"I'll help you! I'll make Mr. Levi fall in love with you!"</p><p>Petra's face lit up the moment those words came out of Maria's voice. She moved through the water as fast as she could and reached Maria and grabbed her hands in excitement.</p><p>"Really!? You will help me?" Petra asked.</p><p>"Of course, I did help my friends find good husbands even when they were tavern dancers!" Maria appreciated the change in Petra's mood. It was nice to share a girl's moment especially since she hasn't seen her friends in days. "So, just leave it to me! I'll plan something."</p><p>"Thank you so much Maria!"</p><p>And with that, the friendship between Petra and Maria started.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Levi thought he already had enough of his squad going to town to get drunk on the weekends. Now he had to deal with two girls going out to the hot springs and coming back late night. These were the moments where he thought that if he didn't have insomnia, otherwise, he wouldn't be staying up late waiting for them.</p><p>Not only that but, Maria hasn't made him his late-night black tea.</p><p>As if the gods were reading his mind, from the dining room Levi heard the door open. He walked towards the entrance where he found Petra on her regular sleeping clothes. She looked the same, the only difference was that her hair looked a bit fuzzy and her face was redder than usual. Also, someone was missing.</p><p>"Where is Maria?"</p><p>Petra's heart hurt a little when he mentioned her name. Nonetheless, she tried to think positively. After all, Maria was part of his household and he cared for her.</p><p>"She wanted to stay at the hot spring for a little longer and told me to head back without her since I have training tomorrow," Petra replied. "You know, I was thinking ... Since everyone is asleep right now, maybe we could share a cup of black tea."</p><p>"Maybe some other time, I can't sleep and I am going for a walk," Levi opened the wooden door again, ready to take his leave.</p><p>"Well, if you want I can accompany you."</p><p>"No, I don't want to bother you. Besides, you should rest. I'll see you in the morning," The Captain looked one more time at Petra who stood quiet. There was no change in her behavior and seeing that she was giving no response, Levi continued. "Goodnight."</p><p>"Goodnight."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Lately, a lot of things have been going through Levi's head. Titans, humanity, the walls, the Survey Corps, cleaning, all of those things were normal on his head.</p><p>But something else has been going through his mind and is that Erwin was a pain on his ass.</p><p>
  <em>"Have you ever thought of what you are going to do when you get old?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You know, it's never too late to look for someone to make a family with."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You should go out to town this weekend, maybe you can find someone nice to spend time with."</em>
</p><p>What the heck was wrong with Erwin? He was already annoying, now he was annoying and a pain in the ass.</p><p>Levi wasn't walking in a particular direction. He was just going to whatever place his legs were taking him. It was a pleasant night, the moon was shining in the dark sky and the sounds of nocturnal animals filled the atmosphere. The sound of grass being squashed against Levi's shoes was a pleasant sound as well.</p><p>As he ventures into the forest, he tries to let go of thoughts only to find out that they come back to him with a greater force. There was no way of escaping them and at this point, Levi went back to thinking again.</p><p>Why would Erwin say those things?</p><p>Was he that needed of affection that it was obvious to the public? He knew he was a man of few words but as far as he knows, that doesn't bother anyone.</p><p>A part of him was telling him that Erwin had his best interest at hand. Being 28 and not being married meant that he was already too old to find anyone. Regularly by this age, people would already have kids.</p><p>Levi knew what Erwin was trying to say. To basically hurry up and get married because he was getting old and women won't want children with an old man like him.</p><p>In all honesty, he didn't care. He had plenty of encounters with women but those meetings only consisted of carnal lust. That kept him healthy enough and made his frustrations decrease whenever he needed it.</p><p>He had no intention of romance, he didn't desire it nor wanted it.</p><p>Besides, Erwin was right ... Nobody in their right mind would marry someone like him. Him who had a lot of blood in his hands, who was cold and rude, old ... Things he didn't plan to change because that's just the way he is.</p><p>If anyone ever dared to be romantically interested in him, then that person must be either a masochist or just very needed of attention or both.</p><p>Yes, there was just no way.</p><p>That was his faith and he accepted it-</p><p>lavender.</p><p>"Please, I don't want to do this."</p><p>"Come on! I won't take off your dress, I am just going to pick it up a little, the other house attendant wanted to do it."</p><p>"But I don't want to!</p><p>Levi recognized the voice almost immediately. Then, from afar he saw her. Maria was being pinned against a tree trunk, a soldier who Levi had never seen before was too close to her. She seemed uncomfortable, her hands were on the guy's chest as she tries to push him away. His face too close to her and Levi almost wanted to throw up at the sight.</p><p>"Just let me go!" Maria then was fast to push him away with all of her might and walks away. Before Levi could intervene, the unknown soldier took Maria by her arm and pushed her down to the ground. He placed his body on top of Maria's and soon he was ready to throw a punch at her face.</p><p>Levi stood standing as for some reason his body couldn't move. He was numb as if he was dreaming. He tried with all of his might but the only thing he could do was to watch as the guy was about to punch Maria's face. Everything was in slow motion and for a moment, he could hear Maria's scream and her struggle to break free. Everything felt like an impossible dream.</p><p>And suddenly, Levi woke up. He felt like lightning had struck his body, waves of energy took over him and it was right there and then when he knew what to do. Everything was clear to him, his every moment was planned and he had never felt so strong before.</p><p>Maria closes her eyes as she waited for the man's hand to touch her face but that never happened. A few seconds passed and still nothing. Finally having the courage to open her eyes, Maria found that the guy that tried to abuse her wasn't on top of her anymore. Was everything a dream? A hallucination?</p><p>She wished it was, but instead she found him laying on the grass a few inches away from her.</p><p>Levi was on top of the guy this time, and he began to punch his face like there was no tomorrow. Maria heard low growls of anger coming from the Captain and the sound of bones impacting against skin made Maria shiver.</p><p>One, two, three punches, and it kept happening again and again.</p><p>It was enough and although the guy was already passed out, Levi wouldn't stop. Maria tried to stop him but the moment she took a look of his eyes, fear overtook her.</p><p>But something had to be done.</p><p>"Mr. Levi ..." she tried to get his attention but her voice was so low that he didn't hear her.</p><p>"Please stop!" Maria said out loud but once again, he didn't hear her. It was as if she didn't exist.</p><p>"Levi, please stop!" It took all the courage she had to be able to go to him and stop him. She grabbed him by his right hand, stopping him from delivering the next punch. As if she had broken a spell, Levi's eyes soften the moment he saw her standing next to him. Seeing that she was alright and safe made him feel relief, and for a short moment, he was at complete peace.</p><p>For a few seconds, they stared at each other's eyes and Maria tried to move Levi away from the unknown soldier's body. She was successful, Levi was next to her now, so close to her body but she wasn't uncomfortable.</p><p>She saw it on his eyes, he was lost as if he didn't believe the strength he had nor why he did it.</p><p>And there he was, being held tightly by the girl he was supposed to be saving. Maria stroked Levi's hair as she felt that his heart beat and breathing began decreasing. For the moment, Levi didn't know what was going on nor what he was feeling. He didn't know what happened nor why and at the moment he didn't care. The only thing that matter to him now was that Maria was right here with him and safe and that was brought him peace.</p><p>"Let's go home."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>But before doing that, they had to drop the unknown soldier who attacked Maria to the infirmary.</p><p>If it was up to Levi, he would have let the bastard die in the forest. But because Maria was so decided to bring the guy to the infirmary, he just couldn't let her carry him all by herself.</p><p>Levi went directly to the doctor and asked to get a self-information report from the unknown soldier as soon as he wakes up. That way he could get his proper punishment or just make him quit the Survey Corps immediately.</p><p>Or both, if Levi could have the opportunity to punish him, he will take it.</p><p>The soldier was asleep in the infirmary but his life was in no danger.</p><p>Now that it was done, Levi and Maria were walking back home.</p><p>It was quiet, they walk next to each other. Late night and neither of them expected they would have ended in this situation. They followed the soil path back to their house. The two of them already wanting to get some rest but they would be lying if they didn't say that they enjoyed the nature that surrounded them.</p><p>"I am sorry,"</p><p>To Maria's surprise, it was Levi who had interrupted their silence.</p><p>"You must have been scared, seeing me like that," Levi said. "I don't know what took over me."</p><p>"No, it's ok! You saved me, I should be thanking you," Maria made a pause as she kept looking down at her shoes. "I should have been more aware of my surroundings."</p><p>"No, that piece of shit shouldn't have touched you," Levi's voice was filled with anger and for a moment he regretted letting the guy stay alive. "You are not a prostitute and even if you were, he still doesn't have the right to-"</p><p>"But we were brought here for that reason, weren't we?" Maria added, "Sometimes I feel bad ... I want to help everyone but I don't want to help when it comes to that."</p><p>Levi looked over at the brunette. She looked confused, lost and there was nothing he could do to make her feel better.</p><p>"Maybe, it would be easier if I-"</p><p>"Oi!" suddenly, Levi hits Maria's forehead with his fingers, getting her attention. She flinched a little to the act, not knowing how else to react.</p><p>"Whatever you are thinking ... Don't," Levi said.</p><p>"How do you know what I am thinking? Maria rubbed her forehead as she looked down at Levi. "I didn't even finish what I was going to say."</p><p>"You don't need to, I know what people think."</p><p>"Well, what am I thinking right now?" Maria asked in a fun manner.</p><p>"You are thinking about making me a cup of black tea once we get home," Levi spotted his squad dorm from afar, feeling good that this night was about to come to an end.</p><p>Maria let out a small giggle, it was strange how comfortable they were at the moment. "Well, yes that and ... that I think you are a great person, Mr.Levi."</p><p>There was silence and the woman decided to continue, "And I believe that you don't think of yourself as being great but ... you are ... I just want for you to know that."</p><p>Once again, there was a smile on her face. Levi didn't even know how she could be smiling when she had just experienced something traumatizing. Suddenly, the thought that maybe this had happened before came across his mind. Or maybe, she was just relieved that nothing happened. </p><p>He hoped for the best and at the moment there was only one thing he had in mind.</p><p>And that was to protect Maria and the smile that made his heartbeat race a little faster.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>The next day rumors that Captain Levi had almost killed someone were going around the training grounds of the Survey Corps. Which in all honesty, it wasn't that much of a surprise, what impressed everyone was the reason why he did it.</p><p>It was a matter of time before the Commander's advisor Erwin, finds out about Levi's doing and due to this reason he called him to his office.</p><p>Although the training wasn't something that made Levi particularly tired, it did help him greatly with building up his physic. Since the regular training procedure of the Survey Corps didn't have much effect on him, he always decided to double or triple the work out. Run more laps, do more sit-ups, do more push-ups, anything that made his condition increase.</p><p>And now he was mildly tired and wouldn't mind going home and sleep. Now, he was in his way to meet Erwin because he almost killed someone, what a joke right? Erwin should know by now that he wasn't one to have his hands clean. On the contrary, he knew that Levi was probably the one who has caused the most bloodshed out of everyone in the Survey Corps.</p><p>Of course, it wasn't something that he enjoyed doing, but sometimes he did think that the world was better without some people on it.</p><p>Just like yesterday's bastard.</p><p>Levi noticed Erwin's door office and without thinking too much about it, he almost slammed it open.</p><p>"Some people knock before entering," Erwin said, he looked unamused as he kept reading some documents that were on his desk.</p><p>"You told me to come here," Levi said as he walked closer to his seat. "Just tell me my punishment and I'll be on my way."</p><p>"I wasn't thinking of punishing you, but I just may because you are being disrespectful to your superior," Erwin puts his documents down and finally, he looks at Levi, who was looking back at him with a glare.</p><p>A few seconds passed and although Levi already knew that Erwin was going to ask, he still waited for him to continue.</p><p>"You are strong, I am sure one punch from you can knock out anyone," Erwin said. "But you almost killed this soldier ... So my question is, why?"</p><p>"He is a bastard and I lost control," the Captain replied.</p><p>"You are not one to lose control often."</p><p>"Well, I did," Levi's voice raised up as he was in the defense. "And if you are going to punish me for fighting with someone who is supposed to be protecting humanity and not jeopardizing it, then go ahead and do it."</p><p>A few seconds of silence passed where there was nothing but glares. No sounds were going through the room which made the place to be in full tension.</p><p>"You are right, this soldier is supposed to be protecting people, not harming them," Erwin said. "The person will be sent home and will no longer be part of the Survey Corps."</p><p>Levi's expression softens after he heard Erwin's statement.</p><p>"As I said, I wasn't going to punish you but since you came into my office in such a rude manner, I am going to have to take that back," Erwin said. "I need you to go to town this weekend and get me some materials that I need."</p><p>"Eh?"</p><p>"I'll give you a list, take your house attendant, she can help you with the things you don't know where to find."</p><p>Levi knew Erwin too well to know that the blond was planning something. And what he hated was that he didn't know what exactly was going on Erwin's mind. There wasn't much Levi could do. After all, Erwin was his superior officer  and even if he were to go against the punishment, he didn't want to make it to worse. Going into town was a pain in the ass for him but not as much as having to organize papers or books.</p><p>"I'll go to town this weekend but I want something in exchange. Yesterday, someone tried to rape my house attendant ... So, I want you to make this clear to everyone..." Levi placed his hands on Erwin's desk and stared at the blond's blue eyes. For a small moment, Erwin knew the reason why everyone was scared of Levi.</p><p>"Whoever dares to touch my house attendant without her consent, I'll personally cut off their dicks and then their throats ... this is not a threat, it's a promise."</p><p>Seconds passed where there was only silence. Erwin had to admit that he was impressed, Levi could be more intimidating if he wanted to be.</p><p>"I'll write a letter to all squad leaders so they can inform their members, then." Erwin let out a sigh as he went back to reading his documents, trying to pretend he didn't feel a bit scared of Levi a few moments ago.</p><p>"I am guessing this can also apply to the other house attendants ... not only yours?"</p><p>"Didn't I say that?" Levi asked as he took his hands off Erwin's desk, already satisfied to hear the blond's words.</p><p>"No, you only said <b><em>your</em></b> house attendant."</p><p>"Does it matter?"</p><p>"When you look at it into perspective, it does."</p><p>Again, Erwin had that look on his face as if he knew something beyond Levi's comprehension. He hated it, especially because Erwin never tells him what is going on in his mind.</p><p>"Dammit, if you want to say something say it already," Levi let out a growl in anger. He was beyond annoyed and at this point he didn't care anymore if he got another punishment.</p><p>"It's nothing ... You will find out eventually."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. The Drawing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>If there was one thing Levi wasn't looking forward to was the weekend. Of course, he enjoyed his free days and although he will prefer to spend the day resting or cleaning, he had to complete his punishment.</p><p>He wanted some peace but it just seems like God wasn't in his favor today. But here he was right now, walking through the open space market place with the person responsible for all of this.</p><p>The market place was as lively as it could be. Sellers were screaming their product's name with their prices and people passing by would check out their items. From time to time Levi would get glances from other females, smiling to him as he walked by. Once again proving that he indeed wasn't indifferent to the ladies.</p><p>
  <em>"My lady, would you mind picking up your skirt and showing us your legs?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Come with me and I'll show you a good time!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I'll pay you if you dance for me!"</em>
</p><p>And of course, Maria had her fair share of popularity within the male community. She was walking behind Levi and although she felt intimated by the men surrounding her, she couldn't do much. The brunette tried to walk away but one of the guys had stopped her by grabbing her arm.</p><p>"Hey, come on we can pay you-"</p><p>"Get your filthy hands off her or I'll cut them off."</p><p>The tall guy who was grabbing Maria by the arm let out a laugh the moment he noticed Levi. He and his other friends began to laugh too as compared to them, Levi was just too short to put up a decent fight. Or so they thought.</p><p>"And what are you gonna do about it, short man?"</p><p>"... Do you want me to show you?"</p><p>Levi was already thinking of breaking his hand but right now he couldn't afford to get another punishment. Instead, he used another tactic which he was known for. He only stared at the guy as he got closer to him, he will let his strong eyes do the trick.</p><p>and it worked.</p><p>"Whatever, I don't have the time to deal with you," the guy said as rolled his eyes. He walked away trying to be tough but in reality, he was intimidated by the short man.</p><p>Maria and Levi watched the man walk away in silence and after they were completely out of their sight, Levi began to talk again.</p><p>"You should learn how to defend yourself ... I won't always be here to defend you, you know?"</p><p>"Although I am grateful, I didn't ask you to defend me," Maria said as she began to walk again. Levi followed closely. "Besides, I don't want to bother you anymore."</p><p>"Then learn some self-defense, I could teach you some stuff."</p><p>"But, I don't want to bother-"</p><p>"You will keep bothering me because I'll keep defending you whether you learn how to defend yourself or not," Levi didn't measure the heaviness of his words. He didn't notice the slight blush Maria's face had when his words left his mouth. "So, you might as well learn now, so you can stop bothering me later."</p><p>Maybe he was being a bit rude and insensitive but this was the only way to get it through her head. He was looking out for her and if he was being completely honest, he was more scared at the fact that one day he won't bet there to protect her.</p><p>"You are right ... I'll learn."</p><p>Maria looked like a scolded child, her hands were in front of her, her eyes looked down at her shoes and she tried to avoid eye contact with the man next to her.</p><p>Levi let out a sigh as he rolled his eyes. For some reason, he just couldn't stand the thought of making the woman feel sad.</p><p>"Just grab into my arm," Levi said as he got Maria's attention. "I'll scare everyone off if you are next to me."</p><p>Did Levi know about the power of words? Because when he says things like that, Maria's heart will skip a beat. She looks away as she tries her best to hide her blush. <br/>   Slowly, she places her right hand into Levi's left arm and for a short moment, she felt like her hand belonged there.</p><p>"Thank you," she said as they walk once again through the market place.</p><p>This time the stares of people were different. While the females would sweetly smile at Maria, the males would throw a cocky smile at Levi as if they were proud of him.</p><p>There was no doubt the people passing by them thought that they were a couple.</p><p>And Levi found this slightly pleasant.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Flowers, perfume, home decorations, candles, mantles, tea, wine, vegetables, and fruits. The list that Erwin gave Levi consisted of different things. As Levi and Maria shopped through the market place, the Captain began to wonder just what the heck in the world was Erwin thinking.</p><p>The things he was getting for him seem ...very unlike him. For all Levi knew, Erwin was a man inside out, seeing that he had a soft side made his stomach feel sick. Not like it bothers him but it was just something strange when it came to the Survey Corps Commander's advisor. </p><p>"Well ... Who is the lucky girl?"</p><p>Maria interrupted their silence as they had finished getting the first and easiest thing to get from their list, the fruit, and vegetables.</p><p>Maria wouldn't have asked in the first place but since she was helping Petra with getting Levi's attention, she might as well know now if Levi was seeing anyone.</p><p>"What makes you think this is for a woman?" Levi asked as they continued to walk through the market place. Of course, he was carrying the bags.</p><p>"The list says perfume, candles, wine ... All of this is for a romantic date and from the mantles, I can tell is going to be a long one indeed," Maria was still holding into Levi's arm, this time she wasn't feeling embarrassed about it. "So, who is it?"</p><p>"I don't know, these things aren't for me, they are for Erwin."</p><p>"The Survey Corps' Commander?"</p><p>"Well, he is an advisor for the Commander ... but everyone expects him to take command soon," Levi replied. He didn't care about the list anymore. Nonetheless, he would be lying if he didn't say that it piqued a small interest in him to know whether Erwin was having a date or not.</p><p>"I don't know where to get any of these things ... That's why I brought you here," Levi decided to leave aside the part in which this was a punishment. After all, he didn't want Maria to feel bad about it.</p><p>"So, are you telling me that a man like yourself doesn't know about dates?" Maria said as she looked through the different items the market place offered. She had remembered that she needed some fabric to make some dresses.</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"Well, you seem to be popular with the ladies," by 'popular' she meant Petra. However, she has seen the looks other women give Levi. There is no doubt that he is a handsome man. "I am sure Captain Levi of the Survey Corps has had his fair share of dates."</p><p>"I've had plenty of dates but not of the romantic nature if you know what I mean."</p><p>If there was something Maria wanted at the moment was to disappear, that way it could be impossible for Levi to see her blushing. He was just this straight forward, wasn't he? And the thing is that he seems unbothered. With no care in the world about his statement.</p><p>"Are you not interested in romance?"</p><p>Although Maria was doing this mostly to get more information for Petra, she had to admit that she was also interested in Levi's romantic life.</p><p>"I don't think it's worth the time nor the effort and besides I think it's stupid," Levi let out a sigh, he didn't want to look at Maria at the moment, he focused on the other people passing by. "One day, I can simply die ... I don't want to bring suffering nor pain to whoever decides to have feelings for me. Also, we don't know if one day the Titans will break the walls and destroy everything ... If she dies and I can't protect her... I wouldn't be able to live with that."</p><p>For the first time, Levi was showing Maria his vulnerable side. She knew that the Captain wasn't the type to talk about feelings, that was for sure. Maybe it was unintentionally, but even if that was the case, Maria felt honored to be in the presence of such a moment. What should she say? He showed vulnerability, maybe she should respond with some of hers too.</p><p>Sellers kept screaming the name of their products, people passing by, kids playing around. Others tried to bargain for lower prices. It wasn't the perfect place to talk, but it would do.</p><p>"You know, I am just a simple woman and I am probably too naive ... But if there's one thing I've learned is that loving as much as you can is worth it," Maria was looking at the ground but looks up at Levi and appreciated his black-pearl eyes. "After all, life is short isn't it? It's better to live it with no regrets."</p><p>There were a few times in which Levi was left speechless. Maria's words resonated within his head and the only thing he could do was to stare at her and her brown caramel eyes. A few seconds passed and Maria felt heat going up to her cheeks, Levi was just standing there. Maria gave a quick look to her right hand, she was still holding onto Levi and her blush grew more.</p><p>As Levi noticed that Maria broke eye contact with him, he had realized that he had been staring at her for too long.</p><p>He took back his regular posture and said,</p><p>"I've changed my mind ... You are not as annoying as I thought."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>They were done shopping the essentials from the list at the market place. Now they were heading to the suburbs of the city in which stores of higher quality took residence.</p><p>Maria was no longer holding onto Levi, he was walking in front of her again and Maria couldn't help but notice that the Captain had changed his mood.</p><p>She regretted to a certain extent the words she previously mentioned because since she said them, it was apparent that Levi took them too seriously.</p><p>She looked around the town, where buildings occupied the whole place. In this big of a town, there has to be something in which it could lift up the humor of humanity's strongest soldier.</p><p>And there it was.</p><p>"Mr. Levi, would you come with me for a moment?" Maria got Levi's attention. He turned around to find Maria walking towards a nearby shop.</p><p>This was a place Levi had never been to before. A small bell rings on top of them as they opened the wooded door.</p><p>They could tell that indeed, this was a painter's home. Brushes all over the place, paint in places they shouldn't be. The white canvas was thrown on the floor. A white mantle covered half of the room and strangely that was the only thing that wasn't covered in paint. A chair placed in the middle of it.</p><p>"And how can I help you?"</p><p>An old bald man with a white beard appeared out of the back of the room. Sightly surprising the two, nonetheless looking by his clothes full of paint, they could tell that the old man was the owner of the shop.</p><p>"I wanted to see if you could make a quick painting of us?" As Maria let out the words, Levi looked at her with amusement in his eyes.</p><p>"A painting? It's already the middle of the day, if you want a painting, come in the morning," the painter saw a disappointed face in Maria's face and immediately felt a little guilty. "But I can do a detailed pen sketch."</p><p>Maria's eyes glitter in excitement as she nodded her head. "Yes, please!"</p><p>"Very well then, take a sit on the chair over there," the painter said as he walked over to pick up a nice thick sheet of paper and places it on his canvas stand. "Your husband should stand next to you."</p><p>"Oi, I am not-"</p><p>Levi wanted to prove the painter wrong but Maria interrupted him suddenly.</p><p>"Of course he will!" she said.</p><p>"Alright, I am going upstairs for my materials."</p><p>The house attendant waited for the old man to be out of sight to turned to look at Levi who was waiting for answers.</p><p>"Do you want him to charge us more? Just pretend we are married for a bit," Maria said.</p><p>Levi rolled his eyes. In all honesty, he even wondered what in the world he was doing. "I feel nauseous just thinking about it ... if I throw up, don't blame me."</p><p>"Hey! No need to be rude!"</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>The sun was starting to go down, Levi and Maria were now just walking through town for the pleasure of it. There wasn't a lot of people and the weather was nice, very tranquil.</p><p>"You made me stand for two hours ... for this small drawing,"</p><p>Levi was holding a detailed pen drawing, the paper size of 8.5 x 11.0 inches. Maria sat on an elegant chair, her dress laid softly in her legs as her knees were showing. She wasn't smiling but her eyes and expression were soft, like that of a gentle mother. Levi was standing next to her, his left hand on top of the chair. His eyes show a stern look and his face looked rigid.</p><p>They indeed look like a married couple.</p><p>"Oh, yes can I take a look at it?"</p><p>Levi rolled his eyes as he passes the drawing to Maria who softly grabbed it.</p><p>And then, she tore the paper in half.</p><p>"What are you doing?" Levi asked in confusion.</p><p>"Well, I am sure you don't want a drawing of me," Maria then handed out Levi's drawing, a bit of his hand was missing because it was on Maria's piece of paper. The part in which he had his hand on the chair she sat. "Now we can show our future children how we looked liked when we were younger."</p><p>"If we wanted to show them, wouldn't it have been easier to just keep the drawing together?"</p><p>If there was one thing Maria hated about Levi, it was how easy he made her blush. When she said 'our children' she meant separately but it seemed he thought otherwise.</p><p>"I meant as like having our separate children!" Maria stuttered as she covered her face with her right hand. "Besides, what happened to you being nauseous about the thought of us being married?"</p><p>"I changed my mind, we look good together," Levi said.</p><p>"Please stop saying that!"</p><p>Levi let out a small smirk. If there was one thing that interested him about Maria, it was how easy it was for him to make her blush. It was comical and for him, it was another thing he could pass by time. Something fun and definitely amusing.</p><p>"I am just teasing you ... besides, I am more interested in why you decided to do this and forced me to do it," Levi asked. He was still carrying the bags that had the things Erwin asked him to bring on his right hand.</p><p>"Have you had a drawing of yourself done before?" Maria asked as she walked next to him. The blush on her face was slowly fading away. The tall buildings around them prevented the sunlight that was left to hit their faces.</p><p>"No," Levi said. "I never thought of it as necessary."</p><p>"I know it's stupid but I like the thought of us being remembered ... One day we are going to die and as generations passes, our linage won't be able to tell who we were and how we looked like." Maria said. "It's just a drawing but it's going to last an eternity ... I have the fantasy that even when we're gone, someone is going to look at this and wonder who we were, how we acted, and lived ... if we are remembered, we can never really be gone ... It's a bit comforting, don't you think?"</p><p>A silence fell over them and for a second Maria didn't notice the Levi was staring at her again. Until moments later she realized that they had been quiet too long. She looked from the ground to look at Levi and once again she felt a bit embarrassed.</p><p>"And besides, you are humanity's strongest soldier, don't you think humanity and the future generations have a right to know how you looked liked?"</p><p>"I don't care about that," Levi said, he took his eyes off Maria. They were close to the place they left the carriage. "But being remembered after I am gone ... Doesn't sound too bad."</p><p>The only thing that could be heard was the occasional laughs of children playing around. The clicks and clacks of shoes impacting the rock paved road and the soft sound of Maria's hair moving along with the wind.</p><p>"Thank you," Levi said softly but loud enough for Maria to hear. It was a nice gesture, and now that he thinks about it, she must have done it because there was a certain shift in his mood earlier.</p><p>"Your welcome," Maria smiled at him and again, it was strange. He felt his heart skip a beat just for a fraction of a second.</p><p>"But even if this wasn't a painting, it is still pretty expensive to get a pen drawing," Levi said, partially forgetting the previous feeling. "How did you pay for it?"</p><p>"Well, I had some money saved to buy some fabrics ... I wanted to make some dresses for myself since I don't have a lot," The house attendant let out a sigh, she wanted some fabrics really bad but she whole-heartedly thought that getting a drawing was better. "But, it doesn't matter! It makes me way happier to have done this with you Levi!"</p><p>"Levi?"</p><p>"I mean Mr. Levi, I am sorry."</p><p>"Just call me Levi, dammit,"</p><p>The short man and the tall girl made a turn. This time the sun was completely down and the moon has made it's way to the dark sky. They were just a few blocks away from their carriage.</p><p>"It just feels a bit strange, you are my boss after all," she said.</p><p>"I would prefer if you didn't think of me like that."</p><p>"Then, what do you want me to think of you?"</p><p>That was actually a good question. One that he didn't think about before. What did he want for Maria to seem him as? A boss? No, definitely not. That kind of relationship would be too strict, no room for growth nor development. And for some reason, he didn't want that between them. He wonders why but didn't have the time to think about that right now. Friends? Maybe ... and strangely enough that seems like a good idea. He always tries to keep his distance and didn't want to have a close relationship with anyone. Especially since Isabel and Furlan died, he had built a wall around him.</p><p>But with Maria it was different, she wouldn't go out of the walls. She was inside and staying at his home nonetheless. She was in no harm and it was almost impossible for anything to happen to her. Almost impossible for her to get eaten by Titans. When he goes out to the exterior, he will be protecting her from the titans. And when he is inside the walls, he will protect her from other harms.</p><p>It was even like a miracle and he barely noticed it. He didn't have to worry about her dying and if he were to die, at least someone will remember him.</p><p>It seems too good to be true, almost like a trap and he was scared that maybe he will lose her too but ... He had promised himself to live a life with no regrets.</p><p>Maybe ... he could let his guard down a little around her.</p><p>"I want you to think of me as-"</p><p>"Wait, where is our carriage?"</p><p>Maria interrupted him and Levi's thoughts were thrown out of the window. He looked around, there was no doubt that the carriage must be here somewhere.</p><p>But the problem was that it wasn't. They look around the streets and nothing. Initially, this wouldn't be a problem but because it was already late and because the Survey Corps headquarters were far away in the countryside, there won't be any carriages that would take them to their destination.</p><p>
  <em>"Dammit ... Is this some twisted plan of yours Erwin?"</em>
</p><p>Levi gave a quick look to Maria before drifting into thoughts again.</p><p>
  <em>"Whether I want it or not ... We are going to have to stay the night together in this town."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>With no other place to go Levi decided that it was better to go into an inn and rest for the night until tomorrow morning. Of course, that was their main idea until Levi remembered ... It was the weekend and unless his squad had a sudden change of heart and listened to him for once, then they should still be around here getting drunk. And if they are here that means they had a carriage with them.</p><p>"Wait, change of plans," Levi turned to look at Maria. He was still holding the bags and in all honesty, he was getting annoyed by it already. "Do you know what is the best place to drink in town?"</p><p>"Well, I am from wall Maria, so I don't know too much about the insides of wall Rose nor much about this town," Maria looked to her side a bit taken back by his question. She indeed worked in a tavern but that didn't mean she knew all about the extravagant world ... Well, she did know about it but still. It was strange that he didn't think about having a little bit of consideration. "But, from what I used to hear from costumers, there is a popular bar in town called <em>The Queen's Tavern ... </em>Why?"</p><p>"Because we are going for some drinks."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>The Special Operation Squad was having the time of their lives as they drank their worries away. Having fun as they drank to their heart contents, singing, and dancing. For a night, it was good to forget everything.</p><p>There were a lot of people at T<em>he Queen's Tavern</em> who shared the same sentiment as the Special Operation Squad. After all, it was a pretty popular tavern and lots of different kinds of people enjoyed the vividity of it. A lot of candles decorated the place, live music blasted non stop and without mentioning, all the men waited for the tavern dancers to go out.</p><p>"Do you think Captain Levi will get angry at us?" said Petra out loud to her group as she took a sip of her beer.</p><p>"He is probably going to punish us again," said Gunther, who secretly was also waiting for the dancers to come out.</p><p>"Don't mention him! We are here to have a good time!" Oluo kept his eyes on Petra. The group was sharing a wooden table with a candle in the middle of it. Their food plates had some leftovers as well.</p><p>Eld had finished his glass of beer and was reading to ask for another one but decided to share some of his thoughts first. "Yeah, Captain Levi is good and all but mentioning him right now is like summoning the devil-"</p><p>"Yes, I am just like the devil,"</p><p>Everyone felt a shiver run down their spine and almost spilled their drinks as they heard the intimidating voice of humanity's strongest soldier right next to them.</p><p>"Captain Levi!"</p><p>Everyone stood up from their sits and saluted their Captain even though they weren't wearing a uniform.</p><p>Scared and almost pissing themselves, Levi didn't have the time to waste with them. He just wanted to go home already. However, their eyes soften the moment Maria showed into the picture as well.</p><p>"I'll let this go if you guys give me and Maria your carriage," Levi said while the brunette waved as a greeting to Levi's squad.</p><p>"You came to town with Maria? For what reason?"</p><p>Maria could sense a bit of jealousy in Petra's voice and she didn't want any misunderstanding between them.</p><p>"We came because Er-"</p><p>"What we do in town is no one's business," Levi raised a hand in front of Maria's face to stop her from talking. If he explains why they were here, he had to explain the punishment and why Erwin gave it to him ... Including the story about Maria and that bastard. He just didn't want to put her in such a compromising position. </p><p>"Captain Levi, I must say that I am quite impressed that you are here ... Won't it better for you to join us?" Eld was relaxed now, the Captain didn't seem as angry as he usually does.</p><p>"I don't drink and we are already tired-"</p><p>"Maria?" A feminine voice said. "Is that you?"</p><p>Everyone directed their attention to the female's voice. They found a blond girl, around her mid-twenties wearing a red, white, and black dress. There was a long cut on her dress, making it easy to see her legs that were wrapped in fishnet stockings. Very luxurious and pompous, her entire self was flamboyant and there was no doubt that she was very beautiful. Her blue eyes shone brighter thanks to the black eyeliner on top of her eye, red lipstick decorated her lips and a small blush was present on her cheeks. Her long silky hair laid on her shoulders and it was beautifully decorated by flowers and single bird black feather.</p><p>There was no doubt that indeed, she was a tavern dancer also known as a saloon girl.</p><p>"Elena?"</p><p>Then everyone turned to look at Maria who had a surprised but happy look on her face. </p><p>"It's been so long!" Maria said as she hugged her friend. "Look at you! How is the tavern life treating you?"</p><p>"It is a bit complicated but nothing that I can't handle ... I do have to ask how can you even dance in these corsets? I can barely breath," noticing that everyone was having their eyes on them, Elena decided to take action. "But will you introduce me to your friends?"</p><p>"Yes, of course! Elena this is Mr. Levi, Mr. Eld, Mr. Gunther, Mr. Oluo, and Ms. Petra ... They are soldiers from the Survey Corps," Maria pointed at them and Elena waved at them softly as a form of greeting. "Everyone, this is Elena. She was a waitress at the tavern I used to work for." </p><p>Everyone waived except for Levi who just wanted to go out already. He was still carrying the bags and if knew something for certain is that he needed these bags to get to Erwin so his punishment could be lifted.</p><p>"Well, since I haven't seen Maria for a while I want us to celebrate ... The next round is on me," Elena said as she turned around to face the bartender. Immediately he knew he needed to start pulling out the big guns of alcohol with these ones.</p><p>"That's nice of you but Mr. Levi and I need to get home-"</p><p>"Oh, come on Maria! I haven't seen you in a while and you still haven't told me what exactly happened the day our boss got busted," Elena said as she placed an arm around her friend.</p><p>"Yeah! Let's all just have a good time!" Eld said, a bit of a blush on his cheeks. "Besides, we don't get many nights with such a beautiful girl like yourself." </p><p>"You all can stay, but I am going home. Just tell me where the carriage is and I'll be on my way," Levi said.</p><p>"That's a shame, Mr. Levi," Elena's voice changed to be a bit more seductive. Her blue eyes met black charcoal ones. "I was going to share some fun stories about Maria back when she used to dance for the tavern ... Wouldn't you want to hear?"</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Levi didn't know how something so simple convinced him to stay the night. At least the bags he was carrying were inside the carriage now. He went outside and placed them inside the carriage and as he saw the sleeping horses, it was tempting to take a horse and leave everyone on the tavern. But he just couldn't do it. Besides, due to his insomnia, he wasn't going to sleep much tonight either way.</p><p>So he might as well spend the night listening to some embarrassing stories of the brunette woman he likes to tease so much.</p><p>And besides, it's been a while ... since he has been out with ... company.</p><p>He went back into the tavern and a certain warm ran through his body as he saw that everyone on the table got excited to see him come back. They waved with their hands, telling him to hurry up and drink with them.</p><p>Maybe ... This won't be such a bad night.</p><p>"And Maria was so drunk that she threw up on a costumer!" Elena said as everyone else let out a laugh.</p><p>"Well, dancing was never my forte ... I guess my talent is to get drunk easily," Maria replied as she took a sip of her beer.</p><p>Levi sat in between Maria and Gunther and in front of Oluo. He placed a hand on his glass of beer and without thinking too much about it, he drank a big gulp.</p><p>"Don't be so modest! Men from all over the walls would come to our tavern just to see you!" The blond girl once again wrapped her arm around the brunette, showing her off like a proud mother. "You see her looking all cute and innocent but in stage ... she was a sexy goddess."</p><p>"Oh my, Maria I didn't know you could be so ... extravagant." Petra teased her, she was already past her point of being tipsy and was on her early drunk stage.</p><p>"I-I wasn't! I had to do it to get more money so-" Maria looked down at her beer, a bit embarrassed that her past was being exposed.</p><p>"Don't be so embarrassed, after all, that's how you met Nicholas."</p><p>"Nicholas?"</p><p>"Maria's first and only love."</p><p>Now, this was the kind of topic that interested Levi, although he knew he shouldn't. He just knew so little about his house attendant, that any small detail about her seemed interesting.</p><p>"Hey, they don't need to know that!" Maria said almost screaming in embarrassment.</p><p>"Yes, we want to know," Eld was saying 'yes' to anything that Elena was saying. Everyone had noticed that the two were throwing flirty eyes at each other once in a while.</p><p>"He is no one! Besides, I haven't seen him in years and-"</p><p>"He came here two days ago and asked for you ... I think he was looking through every tavern and bar out there," taking one last sip of her beer, Elena continued. "I know that he left without an explanation but when I told him that you became a house attendant for the Survey Corps ... He looked genuinely worried and his eyes ... were filled with hope ... When you see him again, you should let him talk."</p><p>" ... I don't think I'll ever see him again."</p><p>Even when Captain Levi didn't want to pay attention, he did. His eyes focused on the brunette and there was a pain in her eyes that he couldn't quite describe.</p><p>"You will ... When he came here two days ago, he was wearing his Survey Corps uniform," Elena said.</p><p>"He is part of the Survey Corps!?" Even Oluo, who was one to only care about Petra and the relationship he wanted with her, he was very interested in the topic at hand. It was more likely the alcohol speaking.</p><p>"Then, that means you can see him! You will meet him again!" Petra was excited. She was a big romantic and wanted the best for the brunette who promised her to help her win the heart of a certain Captain.</p><p>Humanity's strongest soldier was quiet. Mostly out of surprise because the sudden glow in Maria's eyes was a sight to be admired. He didn't know what it was, he had mixed feelings about it. There was a part of him that wanted to see more of her, of those eyes that were filled with hope and love. But his other part of him didn't want to see it. He felt annoyed, angry even and it made him angrier that he didn't know why.</p><p>"Are you going to keep talking or are we going to order another round already?"</p><p>Everyone was left speechless, no one had ever seen Captain Levi being the one to initiate drinking. This was either a sign that something good was going to happen or just a good omen.</p><p>No one knows what it was but they decided to go with the flow.</p><p>"Yes, let's keep drinking!"</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Levi didn't know when in their conversation he fell asleep. Probably, he slept for around two or three hours. He didn't fell asleep because he was drunk, he did it mostly because his body felt like it. He appreciated any moment that his body craved for some sleep and whenever he was, Levi always strived to follow it's body command.</p><p>He drank four to five beers before he felt sleepy and without noticing he had drifted into sleep.</p><p>Now here was, slowly opening his eyes as he recognized a familiar scent.</p><p>Lavender.</p><p>His eyes snapped open and suddenly he realized he wasn't on <em>The Queen's Tavern </em>anymore<em>. </em>Instead, he felt something warm against his head and it took him just a little tilt of his head to realize what was happening.</p><p>Maria was giving him a piggyback ride.</p><p>She seems like she was struggling with him a little but Levi was too surprised to even try and move away from her. Her small hands were tightly holding onto his legs calves. While his arms lay down on both of her shoulders.</p><p>"What the heck are you doing?" Levi said as he finally broke free from his small trance.</p><p>"Carrying you," Maria simply replied, a little of her breath left her mouth.</p><p>The moon was out and thanks to it, Levi could see a little of Maria's face.</p><p>"I can see that, I want to know why."</p><p>"You fell asleep and well, I thought you were too drunk to even wake up so ... I carried you," what surprised Maria the most is that even when Levi realized that she was giving him a piggyback ride, he still didn't move nor seem like he wanted to get off her back. "We are close to the carriage."</p><p>"What happened to the rest?"</p><p>Levi knew it was wrong for him to still be on the brunette's back when he was capable of walking. However, he still couldn't process the whole idea. This was the first time someone has done this for him.</p><p>It looked comical even to him.</p><p>"Ms.Petra, Mr.Oluo, and Mr. Gunther decided to stay at an inn," Maria said as she made a turn on the next street. "Eld went with Elena ..."</p><p>A few seconds passed and Levi still couldn't believe that Maria had gone out of her way to carry him. It was just like one of those sloppy love stories he read on books. Although romance was not a genre he was interested in, sometimes he would stumble open it. After all, love always came for the protagonists. This was like a scene in which the boy saves and carries the girl but this time the boy was being carried.</p><p>It was a bit humiliating because he was short and Maria was taller than him by a few inches, it was easy for her to carry him.</p><p>And then he wondered, was she like this with that guy too?</p><p>"Who is Nicholas?"</p><p>The words came out of his mouth without thinking and for a second he regretted to even have a mouth.</p><p>"Elena explained it earlier didn't she?"</p><p>"Yeah, I wasn't paying attention."</p><p>"If you weren't paying attention that means you don't care,"</p><p>Her voice was more hostile and the Captain didn't know if she was angry at him or angry at the memory of Nicholas. In all honesty, he didn't know why he was suddenly interested in her past love life. It just piqued his interest, especially seeing that someone was able to negatively affect a sweet woman like Maria.</p><p>"We were going to get married, he stood me up a day before," the brunette didn't know why she was telling him this either. It was probably the comfort of knowing that Captain Levi won't be saying this to anyone. "It was stupid of me ... to think that someone would want to marry a tavern dancer."</p><p>A few moments of silence passed and only the soft sound of Maria's black heels impacting the rock path could be heard. At the moment, Levi felt guilty, one because he made her remember an unwanted memory and second because she was still giving him a piggyback ride.</p><p>"Put me down, I am not a child," Levi said breaking the silence.</p><p>"Are you not? You certainly have the height of one," Maria let out a small giggle as she bent down to let Levi off her back.</p><p>"Feeling aggressive today, aren't we, shithead?" Levi felt his feet touch the ground as he did a small jump to get off Maria's back. Once he was up already, he faced the brunette again. More than offended, he was surprised that Maria had the confidence to tease him.</p><p>"Shithead? Couldn't you come up with a better comeback?" Maria had finally got a sight of the carriage that was taking them home.</p><p>"Give me more time and I'll find a suitable nickname for you," Levi let out a sigh in relief as well, finally he could go home and drink some black tea.</p><p>"What about tavern-shit? It's suitable," Maria said, she walked next to Levi but wasn't looking at him.</p><p>"No, too obvious ... I'll think about something."</p><p>Levi gave it a thought? What were Maria's flaws? She lacked confidence, a person pleaser, sometimes she would put up a facade, tends to endangered herself, and will put other's needs before hers.</p><p>She was everything that Levi dislikes about a person and still ... There was something about her that attracted him.</p><p>They finally reached the carriage Levi didn't hesitate to get into the box seat, calming down two horses as he did so. It wasn't a fancy carriage, it was actually a farm transportation one. A prairie schooner to be exact. Maria followed him closely and took a seat next to him in the box seat. Levi made a small movement with the reins and the horses didn't' hesitate to start moving.</p><p>It was quiet as they move from the town to the countryside, the moon and stars above them. Levi found himself hesitant for the first time in a long time and it disgusted himself.</p><p>The only thing that could be heard was the horses' fast feet touching the soil and the wheels of the prairie schooner moving along with them. Maria and Levi sat on the front of the seat box, no daring to say a word.</p><p>So it had to be Levi to break the silence.</p><p>"If there is something I have learned from this shitty life is that is better to live life with no regrets ... Sometimes I even forget," Levi moves again the reins of the horses as they move faster. "Don't make rushed decisions that you will regret later ... You only get one chance."</p><p>The house attendant knew that Levi was talking about Nicholas. Even when he said he wasn't paying attention, he was. Maria didn't want to see him, nor talk to him and that was her final decision. She knew she wouldn't regret this decision because this was the right thing to do ... for her. Even for Nicholas.</p><p>Besides, who was Captain Levi to advise her? He was only a few years older than her and he already spoke as if he was a wise old man. She knew he was trying to help but at the moment her mind and heart were clouded by the love and hate she felt at remembering Nicholas.</p><p>"And what do you know?" Maria said as she turned to look at him in the eyes, not afraid at the moment. "Ever since we met ... You have been holding back and even I can see it ... That you regret it even now."</p><p>"What are you talking about?"</p><p>"I don't know Levi, you tell me," Maria drops the honorific, making Levi surprised. "What have you been regretting since you met me?"</p><p>"Is it so bad ... That you need to stop yourself?" Maria's voice became deeper and unintentionally her body moved closer to Levi's. "You are telling me to have no regrets ... but you are putting yourself in a position in which you will regret either decision you make."</p><p>"So tell me, Levi, what is stopping you?" she had stopped using a formal language, too much rage in her heart to even care about the moment. Her face was very close to Levi's. "What are you regretting right now?"</p><p>Maria waited for a moment and a few seconds passed without him giving her an answer. She was about to give up and just look away in anger but before doing so Levi turned his head to face her.</p><p>Their faces were so very close, they could feel each other's breaths touching their lips.</p><p>"I regret ... not asking you to sleep with me."</p><p>So, that's why he acted differently with her. That is why he didn't call her by offensive names nor treated her like the rest of his team. Would things be different if he didn't feel like sleeping with her from the beginning? If she does, will things change between them? No, things have changed since this moment on. There was no going back. She knew this was childish but if there was one way she could get rid off of the anger she was feelings towards Nicholas right now ... She would do it.</p><p>"Of course, I don't know what I was thinking ... A man like yourself who always is straightforward on what he wants," Maria didn't look away and even if Levi didn't notice, he was captivated by her caramel eyes. "But why ... Why now and not ask me before?"</p><p>"I didn't want to disrespect you ... You have made it more than clear before that you are not a prostitute ... If you had been one ... if circumstances were different ... believe me ... I wouldn't have hesitated to ask," Levi focused on her eyes, the slight blush that was forming on her cheeks and her wet lips that were begging to be touched. "Besides, why ask when I already know the answer-"</p><p>"How can you know the answer if you never asked?" Maria interrupted him and at this point she knew she was too blinded by hate, by her broken heart and her destroyed memories. Her body and soul was craving him, the rude, short, stubborn man in front of her. The only option that might help her forget the love of her life for a moment. "So, Levi ... Come on ... ask me."</p><p>This wasn't the Maria he knows, but he knew she was inside there. Behind all of her pain, her anger, there she was ... The sweet woman who has a dream to help others.</p><p>And he didn't want to take advantage of the state she was in. He could be a monster, but he didn't want to harm her either. He didn't want her to make a decision and regret it later.</p><p>"Come on ask ... and I promise that my answer won't give us anything to regret about," Maria said, her voice tempting him. "I promise I won't regret my decision."</p><p>That was all the comfort and resolution he needed. She made it clear and she had made her decision. If she says she won't regret it, then there was no point in holding back. She was right ... Whatever decision she takes ... Neither of them will regret it.</p><p>"Would you ..." For a moment Levi remembers why he felt physically attracted to her. Her long brown hair moved along the wind as the moonlight created a small angelic aura around her. Her face had a small pink tint on her cheeks, a frown decorated her face and soft pink lips were begging to be touched by him. She was taller than him and her stance was strong and delicate but never showing weakness. She wasn't fat nor skinny, she had curves in the perfect places and to Levi that was the most desirable thing he could ask in a woman. She was a simple looking girl, he was certain he had slept with more beautiful women before ... But he didn't know what it was. She had something particular that he couldn't quite describe and whatever it was ... It attracted him deeply.</p><p>"Would you sleep with me tonight?"</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>A/N: Next chapter coming Sunday. This is different from what I usually write so I am very excited to see I will be taking this next. Thank you everyone for reading and I hope you enjoyed!</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. A Long Night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was late night, the ride back home was far from being uncomfortable. It was calming to know what was going to happen once they got home. They didn't have too much time to think either, they wanted to get distracted by anything else around them. The horses taking them home, the moon and starry night, or the tweets of the nocturnal birds.</p><p>Maria could feel it, the tension, the excitement that builds up with each passing second. She stole glances his way, trying to see if there was any reaction at the heavy airs around them. Could he see it? Her trembling hands? Could he hear her heartbeat going fast? Could he smell the fear and the thrill radiating off her body?</p><p>The house attendant couldn't read him completely, his face rarely shows emotion but even right now, she didn't know what it was. Confusion? Excitement? Could it be that his heart was beating as fast as hers?</p><p>She thought she was over this phase, she was a grown woman after all. Maria was sure of her feelings and the reason why she wanted to do it ... So, why is it that she was acting like a 15-year-old in love? Love? It wasn't of course not.</p><p>But she was scared that it may lead to that.</p><p>When they got home, Maria could tell a difference in Levi's mannerisms. He was being a .... gentlemen. He opened the door for her, no words were being exchanged. Softly, Maria took the lead to her room which surprised Levi. He had thought that a woman like her would want to share his room which was nicer than the storage room she sleeps in.</p><p>But he followed her lead, doing whatever made her feel more comfortable.</p><p>The house was completely quiet and for the first time, Levi was thankful that his Squad had stayed at the town. When they entered Maria's room, Levi closed the door behind them as he locked it. The sound made Maria flinched a bit but she still managed to turn on the candle from her desk.</p><p>One single candle, that was all they needed.</p><p>When Levi turned to face her, he found Maria placing a candle on top of her desk. She left it there and without knowing, her attention focused completely on the candle. How the red flame dances through the wind and how it would be the only thing alive to presence their act of indifference.</p><p>Suddenly, Maria felt her right hand being held by Levi's long fingers. He was getting her attention and in his eyes there was confusion and she could tell that he was scared not for him but because of her.</p><p>She had said yes to the question that was hard for him to ask.</p><p>Maria stared at Levi's black pearl eyes and until now she hadn't noticed how beautiful they looked against the candlelight. His eyes could tell so much and that was the first time Maria felt something more than attraction.</p><p>She couldn't regret this decision, nor she wanted him to regret it.</p><p>The brunette turned her back to him, "Would you take off my dress?"</p><p>There were a few seconds of silence in which it seemed like an eternity to Maria. She wanted to hide her evident blush as she moved her long brown hair to the side, inviting Levi to undress her. </p><p>She heard him take a few steps closer and soon enough, she could hear him undressing her. He took off the lace cords that tightens her dress, Maria could feel his fingers touching her back from time to time until her bare back was completely showing.</p><p>The house attendant turned around finally facing Levi. She placed her hands across her chest as she stopped her top from falling down, still a bit embarrassed about their situation. Levi only focused on her and he was admiring her, he got closer as he delicately takes off Maria's hair bandana, making her hair move freely. From the top of her head, his hands moved towards her back. There was one more thing that needed to be undone and that was her skirt. As he untied the knot, Maria could feel his chest being pressed against her body, he was warm and his hair smelled like beer, not the best of smells but it was understandable.</p><p>He might be a few inches shorter than her but that didn't stop him from being any less attractive. The brown skirt came down on its own as Levi had finished untying it. </p><p>The brunette made her way to the bed and sat down, she was looking for comfort as she didn't like to be this exposed but Levi saw this as an invitation to continue and he wasn't wrong. He sat next to her on the bed and it made a shrinking sound, making Maria's heartbeat increase. She was looking down at her chest, still being covered by her hands. Levi suddenly places his cold hand on her shoulder, getting her attention and their eyes meet.</p><p>Caramel eyes and charcoal ones. Mixed emotions between the two but they didn't want to stop. Their bodies were far too frazzled to stop and if it wasn't because they were distracted with each other's eyes, they would have heard their heartbeats fill the room. </p><p>Although Levi had been with many beautiful women before, this must be the first time he felt somewhat worry. He wonders why ... Why did his heart beat faster? Wasn't it because she wasn't a prostitute? Or because she wasn't a one night stand? Many questions lured inside his head but they couldn't be answered. <br/>      He got closer to her neck and took a good sniff out of her. Lavender but this time it was sweeter like vanilla or even roses.</p><p>Maria felt Levi's breath against her neck as a shiver ran down her spine. It's been long since she had an intimate encounter with a man. Nicholas was the first and this will be her second. She was nervous, more than that ... She could feel like her heart would explode at any second but the moment Levi pressed his lips against her neck, everything changed.</p><p>His lips were soft and strong at the same time. He wanted to take the lead as if he knew she was unexperienced. She couldn't stop concentrating on his lips, kissing every single part of her neck.</p><p>Slowly, Levi began to push her against the bed, not separating his lips from her neck. Without knowing, he began to pull off Maria's top and she let go as she finally felt comfortable with the man on top of her.</p><p>Her breath became more agitated as he moved down to kiss her collarbones. He began to feel a little bit of pleasure as he heard her let out soft moans with every kiss he delivered in her skin.</p><p>It was unfair, that she was almost completely naked and still he had clothes on. He took a moment to take off his white shirt and he let out a cocky smirk as he noticed that the woman under him was completely losing her composure over his well-built body.</p><p>He bent down his body again, his face completely in front of hers. This was the moment he was waiting for the most. He looks down to her lips, her pink lips that looked soft to the touch. Unconsciously he had wonder what flavor they would be. Maybe something sweet, like fruit or maybe like tea leaves. Whatever it was, he knew he will love it.</p><p>Maria began to slowly close her eyes as she could feel Levi's breath against her lips. She was close to touching his lips, he probably tastes like beer. Maybe one day she will be able to know how normally his lips taste, without the alcohol behind it.</p><p>But for now, this would do.</p><p>It was strange but for a moment, her heart-felt content. That even when she was 24 and was already late to marry, someone handsome like the Captain still found her desirable. She knew that she wasn't bad looking but she didn't think she was worth having a romance with. And maybe, she wasn't. At the end of the day, this is what Levi was looking into her. No, love ... just lust.</p><p>But just for tonight, she wanted to believe ... That their action was that of mutual love.</p><p>
  <em>"I've had feelings for him for quite some time now ... but no matter what I do, I don't think he will ever notice me."</em>
</p><p>"I can't do this,"</p><p>Maria's voice made Levi stop right instantly. He pulled his face away from her, but his body was still on top of hers.</p><p>How could she be so stupid? How could she forget? That the man on top of her was the same man her friend was in love with.</p><p>She felt like trash, worst than that. Her heart broke into pieces just thinking about what Petra would say when she finds out.</p><p>A tear rolled down her cheeks and Levi suddenly began to panic.</p><p>"Hey, it's alright. I am sorry. Was I going too fast?"</p><p>But Levi didn't get an answer. Instead, he received more crying from the brunette. He moved away from her and grabbed the first thing he saw on the floor. His white shirt.</p><p>He gave it to Maria as she began to sit on the bed as she wiped away her tears. Without thinking too much about it, she put the white shirt on and felt instant warmth. She felt better just with the thought that her body was covered.<br/>   Meanwhile, Levi sat on the desk's chair. He thought that giving her space was the best thing he could do at the moment. He didn't know what he did wrong but he felt guilty about it. He tried to be as delicate as possible but it seemed like he lacked in that field.</p><p>"Did I hurt you?"</p><p>His voice was delicate and for a moment, Maria got lost again on his eyes. His eyes were gentle and filled with preoccupation. Levi had shown another side of him that Maria had never seen.</p><p>"You didn't do anything wrong ... It's me, I remembered ..." There was a pause and she didn't know whether she should continue or not. But Levi deserved an explanation as well. "I remembered-"</p><p>"Nicholas?" Levi cut her off, she was surprised that his name was still engraved in his mind.</p><p>"Not only him ... Petra too."</p><p>"Petra?"</p><p>She knew that what she was about to say was risky but whatever his response was, she trusted him. Levi had proven himself to be trustworthy, he wouldn't speak too much but his actions spoke louder.</p><p>"She likes you very much ... romantically, I mean," Maria said, she looked down for a bit, feeling embarrassed. "So can you please forget about tonight ... and please invite Petra to diner sometime?"</p><p>Levi knew that he had a strange power over the girl, he could make her blush instantly. But the power she had over him, of leaving him speechless and surprised, just couldn't compare. At first, he thought that she was joking but the longer he stared at her eyes, he knew that she meant serious business.</p><p>"You do not want to sleep with me ... because you think it will hurt Petra's feelings?"</p><p>Levi asked and noticed that Maria was nodding to his question.</p><p>He let out a small laugh, he was relieved that he didn't hurt her and that he didn't do anything that made her feel uncomfortable.</p><p>Of course, this was very much like her. Putting other's needs before hers. Levi knew at the beginning that Petra had a small crush on him since they met. She was pretty obvious, just like Maria, he would make her blush easily and made her nervous. Nonetheless, he thought that those feelings were gone and that now they only had a co-worker friendship.</p><p>He didn't think that Petra's feelings towards him were still strong.</p><p>"I'll do it ... but I want something in exchange," seeing that Maria had calmed down, he stood up and sat on her bed next to her.</p><p>"Tell me ... Who is this Nicholas?"</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>
  <em>"Maria your performance was exquisite! I am sure there would be a good tip for you by the end of tonight!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria looked over at her friend Lisa who was finishing retouching her makeup. It was a Friday night and although she had done this job for the past five years, she hated how her sleeping schedule was upside down from time to time.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"It's 3 a.m. and I want to sleep," Maria said as she let out a small yawn. They were on the tavern's backstage where they could change and get ready for their performances. "Sometimes I hate this job."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"If you hate it, then why don't you quit?" Lisa sat down on her chair, facing the brunette. They had a 15-minute break before their last performance of the night. "Won't your brother graduate soon from the training academy? If he is in the top ten he should go serve the military police and take you with him inside wall Sina."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No, he will be joining the Survey Corps," Maria replied. "Besides what I am going to be doing inside wall Sina? Not to be pessimistic, but nobody will take me seriously for a job once they find out I used to be a tavern dancer ... Besides, I can't read nor write ... This is the only thing I know what to do."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Well, you were fifteen when you came here for the job ... five years have passed and now look at us," Lisa turned back to look at the mirror behind her, appreciating how much the two of them have grown. "I am 21 and you are 20 ... We need to hurry and get married."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"As if any man would take seriously a tavern dancer. You may have not open your legs yet but for sure you have shown it to many men already."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Leah came inside the room interrupting the two talking friends. She rolled her green eyes in annoyance at the naiveness of the girls. Out of the three, she was the oldest, 23. "They may fuck a whore and won't care if she's a virgin or not but when it comes to their wives ... they want them pure."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"But, we are virgins-" Maria said in a low voice but as soon as she spoke, Leah interrupted her again.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I know you are and in all honesty, I think it's better if you get rid of the idea of ever getting a good husband," Leah said. "If you do it will be easier for you to let go of your virginity and start working as a prostitute ... Our boss is kind enough to not pressure us into doing that but still ..."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Leah took a step closer to the brunette, the woman's emerald eyes glared at her caramel ones. "You never know what may happen ... one day you are here, the next you may be on another tavern, men all over you ... So, you should start accepting the offers of the rich gentlemen that have come by."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>After her words were said, silence passed until Leah spoke again. "You all know I have your best of interest at hand. It's nice to dream but keep in mind that we live in a cruel world ... We have five minutes left, get ready."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And with that, the beautiful woman with green eyes left the room, leaving Lisa and Maria alone with their thoughts.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Hey, Maria ..." Lisa's voice was low and it broke the brunette's heart to listen to her cheerful voice become so dull. "We are tavern dancers, even when we go outside, men recognize us ... It's true that we are still virgins but we have shown are skin to many men already ...But do you think ... we are still worthy of love?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was now past 4 a.m. and Maria had finished her performance. She walked outside Golden Tavern, the place she worked at and headed towards the streets. It was a cold night and Maria regretted not bringing her long coat.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Suddenly, she heard steps coming closer to her. At first, she thought that it was a random person what was going the same way as her but as she made different turns in different streets, she realized that she was being followed.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She began to panic, what should she do? Run? But what if the person runs faster than her? Scream? But what if nobody hears her? Attack? But what if the person is stronger than her?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Excuse me!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>This was unexpected, Maria turned slowly to face the person who was behind her. </em>
  <br/>
  <em>    It was a young man around her age. His dark orange hair was long to a length that touched his earlobes and although there was no enough moonlight, she could tell that his eyes were a deep blue.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And he was incredibly tall.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Sorry to scare you I just ..." the redhead mumble a little to himself as he looked down to the ground. "I just wanted to tell you .. that I think you are beautiful.'</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"His name is Nicholas Flaherty and we've seen each other for 6 months now!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria made a small twirl around her room as she came to a stop and faced her guest.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Honestly, I thought that I would never be able to experience romance ... but Nicholas just makes me really happy!" Maria said as she sat down in front of her friend, Elena. "He promised me that we are going to get married."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The brunette woman lived in a small house which she rented. She had everything she needed there, a bed, a kitchen, a dining table, and a place to make her necessities.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I like to see you happy but don't get too excited," Elena, the tavern's waitress smiled at her friend. A bit worried about her situation. "I am glad that you found someone ... but don't you think this is too good to be true?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No, Nicholas is smart, gentle ... He doesn't have a lot of money nor a good last name but he is a kind man and ..." Maria made a pause, she was sitting in the dining room with her trusted friend but still, she was a bit embarrassed. "And I love him."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Elena knew that there was a sudden change in her friend in the past six months. She would smile more, be more active, and altogether, she looked happier. Maria had asked her as a favor to keep the romance she had with Nicholas a secret.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Well, and what does he do for a living?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Elena asked this time she didn't care anymore. She was happy that her friend was happy.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"He is a military man, he is working under the Garrisons! He is telling me that there has being some turmoil lately but-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The expression on her face, the small blush on her cheeks, her caramel eyes shining. Elena was at awe at how beautiful Maria looked at the moment.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And all because of love.</em>
</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>"I was very in love with him ... But one day before our wedding day, he left me," Maria said as she finished telling her story. "No, letter, no reason ... He just disappeared... I was surprised when Elena told me he is now part of the Survey Corps ... It makes me wonder if something happened while he was part of the Garrisons."</p><p>Levi was quiet and he could see it all. The betrayal, the pain in her eyes. The only person she had loved had betrayed her and for a moment, Levi couldn't think of anything but to beat up the guy who gave her so much pain.</p><p>"All the promises, the caresses ... everything was a lie," Maria wasn't looking at Levi, instead it seemed like she was lost in thought. "And to be honest with you ... I have the hope that he left me for a reason ... but I don't want to be betrayed anymore."</p><p>"I'll be honest with you," Levi's voice broke the trance that Maria was in. And she couldn't believe that just a few minutes ago, they were about to-</p><p>"If he is looking for you, you will see him eventually," Levi said. "Maybe he is the son of a bitch that left you ... but you may be right as well, maybe there was a reason he left without saying anything."</p><p>Maria took a moment to appreciate the man sitting next to her. He was shirtless since he had given her his white shirt. The candlelight from her desk was reflecting against his skin, there was no doubt that he was a strong man. There were some scars on his body which made his manly side stand out even more. But even with his strong stance, his eyes show pain.</p><p>What did he go through so his eyes could express such painful sentiment?</p><p>"In the end, it's up to you whether you want to talk to him again or not, but ... I just would like for you to make the decision that you will regret the least."</p><p>There were many things that Maria had thought of Levi that were completely wrong. In the few days that she had got to know him, she had learned a couple of things about him. Although he could be scary, he had his vulnerable side. He cares for others even when he didn't show it. He was like any other man, with desires and longing of touches and caresses even if there was no romance involved. He would never offend anyone unless that person was worthy of that. He had known pain and didn't wish to imply that to anyone.</p><p>Levi was worthy of everything good in this world, a good life filled with love ... even when he didn't know that.</p><p>"Levi, let's make a promise,"</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Chairs so close and room so small</em>
  </b>
  <br/>
  <b>
    <em>You and I talk all night long</em>
  </b>
</p><p>Maria's word surprised him, especially since she had dropped the honorific one again.</p><p>"You told me to live a life with no regrets ... I also want you to live a life in which you have no regrets," Maria got closer to him and placed a hand on his shoulder, their eyes meet.</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Meagre this space but serves us so well</em>
  </b>
  <br/>
  <b>
    <em>We comrades have stories to tell</em>
  </b>
</p><p>"I think that what happened tonight was a result of our past regrets coming back to us," She holds his hand so tightly that for a moment Levi thought of never letting go. "So, please promise me that you won't be afraid to experience love and I promise you that I won't be afraid of accepting love again."  </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>And it's always like that in the evening time </em>
  </b>
  <br/>
  <b>
    <em>We drink and we sing when our fighting is done </em>
  </b>
</p><p>But Levi had already done a mistake. It was right this moment. This precise moment in which he stared at those caramel eyes. She was still sweating from their previous act , her hair was messy and it covered her shoulders. The white shirt he lent her allowed him to see just enough. Her collarbones and even some parts of her breasts. Her face had a slight blush and her lips were wet ... Levi had never craved so much for someone.</p><p>He didn't know what it meant, the way his hands would get sweaty, the way his left leg began to tremble nor the way his heart began to beat faster.</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>And it's always so we live under the burnt clouds</em>
  </b>
  <br/>
  <b>
    <em>Ease our burden, long is the night</em>
  </b>
  <b></b>
</p><p>He didn't know now ... but this was his mistake.</p><p>"It's a deal."</p><p>Their night didn't end there. Levi and Maria laid next to each other on the bed, no touching was involved just their voices filling their room. Talking about life and their past experiences. Maria's life at the tavern and Levi's adventures outside the walls. That night Levi learned about Maria's love for dresses, for her yearning to learn how to read and write. Maria learned about Levi's love for tea and that he hoped to one day open up a tea shop.</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Just as no stars can be seen</em>
  </b>
  <br/>
  <b>
    <em>We are stars and we'll beam on our town</em>
  </b>
  <b></b>
</p><p>They talked for hours, their eyes focused on each other. The candlelight in the room slowly die down but something else was growing bigger with each passing second, with each word shared ... It was an unknown feeling for Levi and to Maria a feeling she had forgotten.</p><p>And without knowing, they fell asleep in each other's arms. Their heartbeats on sync and for the first time in years, Levi slept in total peace.</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>We must all gather as one</em>
  </b>
  <br/>
  <b>
    <em>Sing with hope and the fear will be gone</em>
  </b>
</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>The next morning, Maria barely knew that it was time to wake up. It's not like she didn't want to wake up, the problem was how comfortable she felt at the moment. Her head laid against something warm and she felt strong arms wrapped around her.</p><p>It smelled like beer and although it wasn't a smell that bothered her, it still wasn't something she liked to smell first thing in the morning.</p><p>She slowly opened her eyes and found that she had indeed been sleeping on humanity's strongest soldier's chest. The brunette panicked for a little until she noticed Levi's resting face.</p><p>It was strange to see him like this but the sight was pleasant. His strong features had softened and she could feel his chest going up and down as delicate breaths left his nostrils. His heartbeat was at a normal rate and he just looked so peaceful that it seemed like a sin to wake him up.</p><p>Maria couldn't help but wonder ... Why hasn't anyone tried to get close to him? In a romantic sense, as far as Maria knows, only Petra has those feelings for him. But with his looks and mysterious personality, she knew for sure that Levi must have had his fair share of broken hearts. Why hasn't the Captain opened up? Wasn't because no woman met his standards? Was it because he wasn't met the one? Or was it because no girl was brave enough to get to know him?</p><p>Or maybe ... it was because he wouldn't let them get close to him.</p><p>"I feel like throwing up,"</p><p>"If you are going to do that, then stay outside!"</p><p>"This is the first time but ... we should have listed to Captain."</p><p>This is just what she needed, hangover soldiers coming to interrupt her almost perfect morning.</p><p>Maria needed to get ready for the day. She looked down at her body and noticed that she was still wearing Levi's shirt and her underwear. Great, this looks wrong on so many levels.</p><p>She broke free from his embrace and took a sitting position at the edge of her bed. The house attendant was about to stand up to pick up her dress but she felt a strong hand grab her by the arm.</p><p>"Stay, I want to sleep more."</p><p>Maria cursed underneath her breath, his voice came out louder than she expected and she began to panic again at the thought that the Special Operation Squad might hear them.</p><p>"Did you all hear that?"</p><p>
  <em>God, why me?</em>
</p><p>"Shh, keep it down ... they are outside," Maria whispered and Levi rolled his eyes in annoyance. He was having such a nice time sleeping and now it was interrupted by his stupid team that were too smart and hangover at the moment.</p><p>He looked like a little kid, letting out a small pout in anger and he looked to be back to himself. Of course, everything was too good to be true.</p><p>"Well, shit."</p><p>Levi stood up from the bed and noticed that he was shirtless. For a moment he had forgotten that he had lent it to Maria, and that yesterday night actually happened.</p><p>"Just give my shirt and I'll walk out," he said.</p><p>"Well, just turn around while I change,"</p><p>Maria picks up her dress from the floor and in all honesty, she really needed to make more dresses. She only had three and the one on the floor was already way too dirty.</p><p>"What are you embarrassed about? I saw almost everything yesterday."</p><p>Ah, so this is probably why the ladies won't get near him. He was scary at how straight forward he was and his ability to make her blush was also something that shouldn't be taken lightly.</p><p>"Just turn around!"</p><p>Her voice came out louder than she expected and quickly she covered her mouth with her hand.</p><p>The Captain just lets out a small sigh as he turns around and shows her his back. He didn't see anything but could hear her undressing, the fabrics moving as they touched each other. Levi heard a cabinet being open, he guessed that Maria was going to use another dress, which seemed reasonable since yesterday's dress must be dirty.</p><p>"Here, just take your stupid shirt and leave,"</p><p>"It wasn't a stupid shirt last night," Levi had a small smirk on his face as he accepted back his shirt</p><p>These were the moments in which Maria wonder just what was going through her head when she decided that sleeping with him was a good idea.</p><p>"We are never talking about what happened last night remember? Just our promise," the brunette said.</p><p>Levi noticed that Maria was wearing the same dress she wore the day she first came into the house. A simple white top blouse that accentuated her curves and a light green skirt that touched her ankles.</p><p>"Don't you have any other dresses?" Levi asked out of pure curiosity.</p><p>"I only have three, one to work, one to go out to town, and another for special occasions," Maria worked on her hair next, she grabbed a ribbon from her desk and quickly made a ponytail, only leaving her bangs on her face. "But you could care less about that, so please Mr. Levi ... leave already."</p><p>"Fine," the Captain was quick to put on his shirt and a thought crossed his mind. Why was she in a hurry to kick him out of her room? He would have understood if his squad were in the dining room or wanted to go inside her room. Nonetheless, the voices had quieted down. They were most likely resting already in their rooms. No one would see them.</p><p>Alright, maybe his pride was a bit hurt.</p><p>
  <em>It's alright, it's understandable ... It's obvious she wouldn't want to be seen with me, after all, I am just an old man.</em>
</p><p>Levi would never admit it out loud but whenever he remembers he was a 28-year-old man, he recalls Erwin's voice telling him:</p><p>
  <em>"If you ever want to have a family, I suggest you to hurry up ... You are getting old and unless you possess riches, a lady won't marry an old man."</em>
</p><p>He never cared about those kinds of things ... So, why was he thinking about that right now?</p><p>"Whatever, but just one more thing," Levi opened the wooden door who led to the dining room. Maria looked at him with puzzlement on her eyes.</p><p>"Stop calling me 'Mr. Levi.'"</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>If Maria was being completely honest, she wanted to go back to sleep. But she couldn't afford to stay asleep, she had to keep up with her duties as house attendant.</p><p>She still wonders what to do for dinner and that's if the Special Operations Squad wakes up at all today. Since there wasn't much to do at the house, Maria decided that going to the well to get some water was the best idea.</p><p>She already had a bucket full of water and she placed it down on the grass to take a small break and to catch her breath. It was a beautiful morning and for a strange reason, Maria felt positive about the future.</p><p>The wind danced through the miles of grass. The grass fields were extensive to the point where Maria couldn't see her home any longer, but she wasn't scared, the smell of grass, the sound of the wind moving across the fields. It was comforting, like a distant memory. It reminded her of simpler times where she could play all day long with her little brother ... What a life.</p><p>"Maria?"</p><p>A female voice interrupted the brunette's thoughts. It was a voice she recognized and a friendly one none the less.</p><p>She turned around to face a blond girl with brown eyes, she knew her very well.</p><p>"Lisa!" Maria exclaimed in excitement as she ran to meet her friend. "I haven't seen you in days!"</p><p>Only a week has passed but before, there hasn't been a day in which they didn't see each other at the tavern. For them, it was as if months had passed.</p><p>They both shared a hug and separated to look at each other's faces.</p><p>"Look at you, you look like a housewife!" Maria let out a small laugh as she and Lisa took a sit on top of the well. Her friend indeed look like a housewife, she wore a light blue dress with a white apron tied around her waist. Her hair on a low ponytail.</p><p>"I could say the same about you," Lisa said as she smiles at her brunette friend. "Afterall, it is different from the extravagant dresses we used to wear but to be honest with you I miss them ... they were so beautiful ... But tell me, to where and to who have you been relocated?"</p><p>"I am on the south section of the Survey Corps house dorms, I was assigned to Levi's Squad's house."</p><p>"Levi? Shouldn't you address him as Mr. Levi?" Lisa asked. "I heard that he is really scary, is it true?"</p><p>"Yes, and well, I can't either deny that or confirm that."</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"He can be scary and rude but," without noticing it, Maria thought's drifted into Captain Levi and how he acted the night before. "He is also delicate, gentle and he cares about others and he-"</p><p>"Stop it right there!" Lisa placed a hand on Maria's shoulder, making her stop mid-sentence. "Don't tell me you have fallen in love with him?"</p><p>Suddenly, the brunette's face turned red at just the mere thought of it. "Of course not! I just respect him a lot."</p><p>Maria thought that this was just going to be one of those moments in which Lisa would make her feel embarrassed but the moment changed suddenly. Lisa had always been known to be a cheerful girl, but when she was serious, it could be to the point to scare anyone.</p><p>"I wasn't going to say anything because I made a promise I wasn't going to," Lisa's voice had lower, her soft eyes had hardened and she looked at Maria with such an intensity that it made her shiver. "I am the house attendant for Hange Zoe's squad ... Nicholas is now part of her squad."</p><p>Lisa was expecting a different reaction, but instead, her friend was quiet, waiting for more information.</p><p>"The first day that I saw him, he wouldn't stop with all the questions about you. I told him that I didn't know to which squad you were relocated," Lisa looked down to feet as she remembers that night.</p><p>
  <em>"I was falsely accused of treason! The day before I was going to marry Maria, I was put in prison for 4 years. Until I was finally able to prove my innocence and the only thing that kept me sane was writing letters to her ... letters what she was never going to receive."</em>
</p><p>"At first I didn't believe him ... but I was cleaning his room one day and I saw them ... A small box full of love letters ... all of them dedicated to you."</p><p>The blond woman had a different look on her face now. She couldn't help but fondly remember the letters. His love confessions, his passion towards her... It was something to envy but she was truly happy that someone loved Maria the way Nicholas does.</p><p>"He changed from the Garrisons to the Survey Corps a few weeks ago. Since he is been out of prison, all he is been doing is looking for you," Lisa finally turned her attention back to her brunette friend. "It's just a matter of time before he finds out where you are ... I hope you are willing to listen to him when you see him."</p><p>For a moment time had stopped and Maria's thoughts were filled with Nicholas. It made sense, everything that Lisa was saying. The Survey Corps dorms were extended on a large piece of land. Small houses were built for each squad. This was only done with the most important squads for them to build a bond and trust. All other members who weren't part of a squad lived on bigger dorm buildings, almost big as castles. </p><p>So, it only made sense that it has taken him a while to check out all the house buildings and dorms.</p><p>But eventually ... very soon ... he will find her.</p><p>   Lisa has a basic education and unlike Maria, she knew how to read and write. She remembers Lisa being the one who read out loud Nicholas's love letters to her when they were dating.<br/>    But the fact that he wrote her love letters, even when he knew she couldn't read nor write ... her heart shrunk at the thought.</p><p>"Why are you telling me this?" Maria asks, finally mustering the courage to speak up. "You said you promised him not to say anything."</p><p>"... I got scared," Lisa said as she grabbed Maria's hands to get her full attention. "When you talked about Captain Levi, your voice, your eyes ... You used to talk about Nicholas like that."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>    Levi tried to fall asleep but wasn't able to get any of it. It was strange because his body was tired and he really thought that he could fall asleep any second. But he found himself in his room, laying on his bed and with his thoughts filled with images of Maria.</p><p>He tried to get rid of them by thinking of something else. The Captain tried to think of black tea but a memory of Maria serving him a cup of tea popped in his mind. He tried again and thought of titans, that should make him stop thinking right?</p><p>
  <em>"I should be careful about this upcoming expedition ... I always tend to jump into action to fight titans. I need to come back safe to Maria, I don't want to worry her."</em>
</p><p>Wait a moment, stop it right there.</p><p>Levi shook his head and tried to go back to thinking about the upcoming expedition.</p><p>
  <em>"It's been a while since the last expedition, I wonder what new things I'll see. Maybe I should bring Maria that strange flower that I saw on the last expedition, she will probably like it."</em>
</p><p>"Fuck."</p><p>He knew he wouldn't be able to sleep. Whether it was because of his insomnia or because of Maria, he was annoyed that he had another reason he couldn't sleep at night.</p><p>Maybe seeing her would cease his thoughts about her. He stood up from his bed and without thinking too much about it, he walked around the house in hopes to see her. But she wasn't in the kitchen, nor the dining room, nor her room. His team must still be asleep, all of them hangover from last night.</p><p>"Where the fuck is she?"</p><p>"Are you looking for Maria, Captain?"</p><p>Levi's attention was drawn back to the female voice behind him, he recognized it clearly. It was Petra who seemed sleepy enough, dark circle under her eyes and messy hair. They were in the kitchen and it was a bit strange for them to be alone.</p><p>"Yes, she's not here ... and I want my cup of black tea," Levi responded. For a second he remembers Maria's words from last night.</p><p>About Petra having strong feelings for him. He would be lying if he says he didn't think of Petra as an attractive woman and that she has qualities to be a long life partner. But those thoughts drifted away the more he worked with her, he saw her as a soldier now and never really like a woman.</p><p>But of course, that could change.</p><p>"I can make it for you!" Petra said excitedly and for a moment her eyes shone across the room.</p><p>"No, I'll wait till she comes back," Levi gave one look at the woman in front oh him. She was strong, beautiful, and kind. Maybe Maria was right, it was time to live a life without regrets. And Petra was the perfect candidate to start this new journey with.</p><p>
  <em>"You told me to live a life with no regrets ... I also want you to live a life in which you have no regrets ... Please promise me that you won't be afraid to experience love and I promise you that I won't be afraid of accepting love again." </em>
</p><p>"I was going ask you," Levi made a pause, not used to doing this kind of thing. "Do you want to have diner with me next weekend?"</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.<br/>A/n: More interesting things happening for the next chapter! <br/>For the next chapter we will see:<br/>Levi and Petra's date <br/>Nicholas meets Levi<br/>Levi getting a bit tiny jealous <br/>Maria slowly realizing she feels something for the Captain.</p><p>Things might change, but I'll already 3500 word done for the next chapter! Do you all want to see a preview?</p><p>If you like my story, don't forget to comment! It helps a lot ♥️</p><p>Again, thank you for reading and see you next week!</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. A Date</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Days have passed and Levi and Maria haven't talked about that night. Which in all honesty, Maria was glad. They could really let that go and start a new, the only important thing to remember from that night was the small 'deal' they made. She was glad that Levi had taken her words seriously as well because from what Petra told her he invited her for dinner this upcoming weekend.</p><p>
  <em>"Thank you, thank you ... Thank you! I can't believe you convinced Captain to invite me to dinner this weekend!"</em>
</p><p>Their date was on Saturday night. But Maria is going to accompany Petra to town to do some shopping on Friday. She wanted some new pretty clothes for the date.</p><p>The house attendant also had some unfinished business with Petra. In the sense that the brunette couldn't sleep at night knowing that she almost betrayed her. She needed to come out clean, be honest with her.</p><p>If Petra wanted to stay friends with her after that, then Maria would feel very blessed.</p><p>The brunette even feels bad to be doing this but she knew that friendship couldn't be built on dishonesty.</p><p>"So, Maria ... was Elena always so charming?"</p><p>After the night they drank together and Elena spent the night together with Eld, he couldn't stop talking about her. If Maria didn't know better, she knew that Eld was in love with the blond girl.</p><p>"She was more of a tomboy when she worked as a waitress ... She definitely has learned a thing or two since she started working as a tavern dancer."</p><p>It is early morning on Wednesday and Maria moved around the dining room happily as she served breakfast for the Special Operation Squad.</p><p>"And by any chance ... Do you know if ..." Eld looked away a bit embarrassed as he slightly touches his right cheek. "Did she ... saw other men before?"</p><p>"Oi, stop asking questions and eat," Levi looks up from his plate to Eld and glared at him. It was early in the morning and he hasn't gotten his daily black tea.</p><p>"It's alright!" Maria said. "To be honest with you, I am not sure ... Us, saloon girls and tavern workers don't talk between ourselves about our intimacy with men unless is someone important."</p><p>This piqued Levi's interest and decided to keep quiet, this could be good information. He quickly eyed his other teammates who seemed to be interested in the ongoing conversation as well.</p><p>"What do you mean?" Eld asked.</p><p>"Everyday tavern dancers are seen with men. It's part of our job, to be with them, attend to their needs, listen to them," Maria walked around a little as she proceeds to give out slices of bread. "So, I honestly can't tell if the men she's been with are just customers or serious relationships ... She never told me anything about a guy, so I am guessing she hasn't been in a serious relationship yet."</p><p>"Oh, so that's why Elena knows about Nicholas!" Petra who was too happy about her situation decided to jump into the conversation. "You wouldn't talk about other men because they are not important, but you talked about Nicholas because he is important to you, right?"</p><p>Maria blushed a little but she tried to contain her feelings as well. She made a mental note to herself to make Elena pay for saying so much information about her.</p><p>"Yes, he was important ... he is important."</p><p>Levi rolled his eyes, he thought that he could get some information of value. Instead, he was just getting annoyed.</p><p>
  <em>"What's with her caring for him all of a sudden?"</em>
</p><p>"So, do you think I have a chance?" Eld asked as he interrupted Levi's thoughts.</p><p>"Have you heard the phrase, 'never fall in love with a tavern dancer'? Maria was on her way to the kitchen but before, she wanted to end the conversation in a good manner and Eld nodded to her question. "We tend to make men fall in love with us because it is convenient. We talk to them, play hard to get, and all of these things men like ... We get things out of it, money, favors, connections."</p><p><em>"We?" </em>Levi thought as he raised an eyebrow.</p><p>Seeing that Eld was looking down at his plate in disappointment, Maria decided to give out some words of encouragement.</p><p>"I can't talk on behalf of Elena ... but from what I saw on the day we drank together ... I've never seen her so excited with someone before."</p><p>Eld's face immediately changed as a small smile decorated his face and he went back to eating his breakfast peacefully.</p><p>"Hey, Maria, between you and us," this time it was Gunther who jumped into the conversation. Maria and the Special Operations Squad had gotten closer ever since that night they drank together at the <em>Queen's Tavern</em>.</p><p>"What is the most expensive thing a man has offered you?"</p><p>Suddenly, all eyes were on the brunette. Waiting patiently for an answer, she was surprised that they were so invested in her past life.</p><p>"Mmm, maybe diamonds? I think I was offered a house inside Wall Sina on different occasions too," Maria looks up and placed a hand on her chin as she gave more thought into it. "I've met a lot of men. Lots of them from royalty, others are merchants, and others would just go to the tavern to see me ... Some of them were really sweet too! Once a guy-"</p><p>"Alright, I am leaving,"</p><p>Suddenly Levi stood up from his seat, his mood changed completely.</p><p>"But Captain Levi, you haven't finished your food. You said to not waste it-" Oluo wanted to make a point but then he was interrupted by the captain.</p><p>"Then you fucking eat it."</p><p>Everyone stood quiet for a moment, they knew that the Captain had a very colorful language and he didn't strain himself from using it. But this time it was different, he was being disrespectful to one of his comrades, something he rarely does.</p><p>Maria decided to take a shot at it, even when she felt intimated by the short man.</p><p>"But Levi, I haven't served you your black tea, do you want me to-"</p><p>"And you, I want this room to be spotless when I come back. Wash our clothes and have diner ready before we are back," humanity's strongest soldier walked towards the brunette who unintentionally moved back a few steps. "Also, it wouldn't hurt you to be a little bit more respectful towards me."</p><p>He gave her one cold look before turning to his squad again.</p><p>"I'll be waiting in the training grounds, if anyone of you is late, I'll punish you all."</p><p>And with that, he left. Levi was scary but he never loses his cool like this. He was angry and he was letting his anger out in others.</p><p>Maria had stopped calling him 'Mr. Levi' as he requested it but it seems like it was better to address him respectfully and to keep her distance for a while.</p><p>Levi was just hard to read.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>If he had any idea what was going inside of him, he wouldn't be in this situation. He was annoyed and angry just a few moments ago, now that he had calmed down it was clear that he crossed the line with Olou and Maria.</p><p>He didn't know what triggered his sudden change of mood ... but at the same time, he did. Maria talking about other men, thinking about them and having fond memories of them even ...</p><p><em>"Fuck this, I shouldn't give a shit about her at all," </em>Levi thought as he let out a small growl. He remembers her face again, the small smile she had when she thought of the men who courted her. <em>"Who cares if she's gone out with other men? I've been with other women too."</em></p><p>So, why was he angry? Why did he feel the need to punch something at the moment?</p><p>
  <em>"We tend to make men fall in love with us because it is convenient. We talk to them, play hard to get, and all of those things men like ... We get things out of it, money, favors, connections."</em>
</p><p>And he couldn't stop thinking about it. '<em>We' ...</em> Why didn't Maria say <em>'they</em>'? Deep down, Levi knew that the intimate encounter they had a few days ago was due to the heat of the moment. And nothing happened but talking. But, was this a technique of hers? To make him crave her more? Was he a game to her, just for the pleasure of seeing him at her feet?</p><p>
  <em>"Like hell that's gonna happen ... Not like I have any stupid feelings for her nor I will."</em>
</p><p>Traning was done and although Levi just wanted to go home, Commander's advisor Erwin, requested his presence at his office.</p><p>Humanity's strongest soldier give a small recap in his head to see if he had done anything worthy of a punishment. Nothing crossed his mind and the conclusion came to be that Erwin was probably going to talk about the upcoming outside the walls expedition.</p><p>After walking for a bit through the Survey Corps headquarters, he finally found Erwin's office. He knocked on the wooden door three times and when he heard a 'c<em>ome in'</em>, Levi did as he was told.</p><p>"Ah, Levi, please take a seat."</p><p>The short man was greeted by his superior officer. He walked towards him but instead of taking his invitation to sit, he was standing which Erwin didn't mind. He was used to the Captain being this way.</p><p>"Just get to the point already, what happened?" Levi asks as he places his arms across his chest.</p><p>"I see that you are as enthusiastic as ever," Erwin let out a small sarcastic laugh. "There's going to be a small change for our upcoming expedition ... We are going to push it back for a a while."</p><p>"We've been training for months! We are a month away from going outside! Why move it?"</p><p>"Our recent economic reports say that the Survey Corps is on the verge of bankruptcy ... If there's no money, there's no expeditions, no Survey Corps."</p><p>Erwin was behind his desk and he noticed that Levi was getting more annoyed at each passing second.</p><p>"Then, what the fuck are we going to do?"</p><p>"We are hosting a large event to get sponsors," Erwin had to admit that he was a bit nervous to say the following. "And you need to be there ... As humanity's strongest soldier and Captain, it's only proper of you to be there."</p><p>"So, you are telling me ... That I have to be a fucking party host?" Levi was clearly angry, his voice changes as he shows his annoyance. "What else do you want? Do you want me to wear a dress and fucking show my legs?"</p><p>"No, we will be asking the house attendants to do that."</p><p>"Wait, what?"</p><p>Before they could say anything else, Captain Levi and Erwin were interrupted by a knock on the office's door. But instead of waiting for permission to get in, the person just entered and she looked as preppy as she could be.</p><p>"Erwin, we already have- Oh! Levi! I haven't seen you in a while!" Hange Zoe came inside the room with her arms wide open, ready to hug the short man.</p><p>"If you touch me with your dirty hands, I'll break them shitty glasses," Levi threatened her, not really meaning his words.</p><p>"Glad to see that you are as affectionate as ever, Levi." Hange directed her attention towards the Erwin . After all he was the one she was supposed to meet. "Erwin, I just wanted to come by to inform you that the ballroom has been reserved for two weeks from now."</p><p>"Very well then, March 3rd it is," Erwin said as he took a notebook from his desk drawer and wrote the date for the event.</p><p>"I thought the Survey Corps had its bad times but this? This has to be the lowest we will ever be," Levi said as he rolled his eyes.</p><p>"Actually, Levi, this is pretty common ... You don't know much about it because you joined the Survey Cops a year ago but this is the way we do things, we need the money."</p><p>"We joined the same year," he said.</p><p>"But, I still know more," Hange teased.</p><p>It was true, Levi had joined the Survey Cops a year ago. He still remembers how he swore to kill Erwin to get out of the underground city. Now, they were comrades, and a month ago, he became Captain and Squad Leader. He was still pretty new to the job. But if he knew that he had to be a party host, he would have probably thought about it twice before joining.</p><p>Suddenly, knocks coming from the door interrupted them. It was a young man, one that Levi had never met before.</p><p>"Sorry to interrupt, but Ms. Zoe, it's time for you to check on your experiments," he said as he stood by the door.</p><p>"Oh yes, I almost forgot!" Hange placed a hand on her forehead as she remembered she was working on something in the lab. "But come on in! Let me introduce you!"</p><p>At that, the young man came inside the room. He looked to be around his twenties, blue eyes, and orange almost red hair. His face features were well defined and he was incredibly tall.</p><p>"Moblit is sick and this fine gentleman is helping me conduct my experiments meanwhile," Hange added. She then pointed at  Erwin, "This is one of Keith Shadis's advisor Erwin, I am sure you two already know each other."</p><p>Then her attention went to Levi who's eyes had become sharper and Hange was quick to point at him. "And this is Captain Levi, be nice and he won't do anything to you."</p><p>The red-hair saluted him as he places his fist on his heart. "Nice to meet you, sir!"</p><p>
  <em>"Sir?"</em>
</p><p>"And Captain Levi," Hange said, "This is Nicholas Flaherty."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>What were the fucking odds? What were the motherfucking odds? Levi knew that eventually, Maria and Nicholas would meet. Nonetheless, he never expected to meet this piece of trash. He didn't want to ever see him either. But here he was, walking back home with the 6'3 feet tall man. Hange needed some documents from Levi and since she needed to check on her experiments, he sent Nicholas to go pick up the documents alongside Levi.</p><p>They were almost there, Levi could spot their house a few meters away. He began to panic.</p><p>
  <em>"What if Maria sees him? What would she do? What would they do? And why do I care?"</em>
</p><p>"Captain Levi, I need to ask something and I am sorry if I am evading your privacy."</p><p>How he despised this guy and he didn't even know why. He was young, had good looks, was tall, and had his way with words. The total opposite of him.</p><p>"But by any chance, is your house attendant a brunette with brown eyes? Around her twenties and around 5'6 feet?"</p><p>Yeah, he was describing Maria alright. He was in a strange predicament. He didn't want to help the guy nor wanted him to be involved in any way again with Maria. The thing was that he didn't know for sure if Maria wanted to be found or not.</p><p>"No,"</p><p>Nicholas sighed in defeat, his blue eyes showed disappointment but Levi didn't care at the minimum. "Sorry to bother you ... You see, I am looking for someone dear to me."</p><p>"I didn't ask," Levi said and he wanted the conversation to end there but a part of him wanted to continue. "But if you are looking for this person, how do you know if they want to be found?"</p><p>"Because I love her, and I know she still loves me," Nicholas said and Levi saw it. The look on his eyes, the sparklers that were created as a memory of her crosses his mind. "We were separated ... but I know everything will go back to the way it was before once I talk to her ... We are each other's happiness."</p><p>Levi wanted to throw up at the moment. Was this the type of guys girls were into? Hopeless romantic and cheesy as fuck?</p><p><em>"Who the fuck does this guy think he is? Maria's happiness? She is already happy, she doesn't need you." </em>Levi rolled his eyes and decided to let go of the thoughts, of everything. He was just getting more agitated and he didn't know if it was because the guy next to him was annoying or because he is going to have to deal with Maria and Nicholas's meeting again after 4 years.</p><p>"What do you see in her anyway?" Levi cursed at himself, he just couldn't keep his mouth shut.</p><p>"She is a simple girl with a good heart. She's selfless and cares for others but most importantly ... She changed me," Nicholas said. "She doesn't know it, but she has the power to bring out the best in people ... She made me, this piece of trash and a nobody, into a kind man who cares for others."</p><p>Levi knew that Maria was secretive and the night that he asked her to tell him about Nicholas, she kept a lot of things to herself.</p><p>"Would you explain that?"</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>
  <em>"Sorry to scare you I just ..." the redhead mumble a little to himself as he looked down to the ground. "I just wanted to tell you .. that I think you are beautiful.'</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria knew that the man in front of her was clearly drunk. She rolled her eyes in annoyance, the brunette didn't want to deal with a drunk man.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I am sorry sir, I think you are drunk," she said.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No! I am fine! So, tell me how much do you charge?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria sighed in defeat and decided to ignore the man. She turned around and began walking, it wasn't the first time that a drunk man had approached her nor will be the last. Now that she remembers, she had seen him a couple of times on the tavern she works at. Drinking and eating, not really doing much.</em>
</p><p><em>But Maria stopped midtrack as she heard a loud sound, something smacking against the ground. It was the red-haired man who had collapseds</em>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>"I fainted and next thing I know, I was in her house," Nicholas turned his head to find that Levi was invested in his story. "When I collapsed I injured my foot and was unable to move ... She took care of me and I was just horrible to her ... Now that I think about it, it's funny ... I imagine her carrying me through the streets late at night."</p><p>Levi couldn't help but feel a sting on his heart. The Captain had a fond memory of Maria carrying him on her back. He didn't want to admit it but he appreciated the moment, it was unique for him. Something that he didn't want to share with anybody. And just the thought that Maria had done the same for someone made him disappointed. Because that moment was no longer special ... He wasn't as special to her as he thought he was.</p><p>"She took care of me for weeks and I just fell in love with her. And suddenly, I found myself trying to become better," Nicholas' hair moves slowly with the wind. His blue eyes sparkled as he let out each word. He was happy with memories alone.</p><p>"I stopped drinking and took my job seriously ... I tried to become the man she deserves and I think that's why she fell in love with me."</p><p>And Levi couldn't stop thinking. If Maria had the power to change people for the better, could she change him as well? Did she have the power to tame the monster inside of him? Could she be the one to break down his walls? If there was anything that he wanted was to feel at peace, to accept himself fully.</p><p>Was his house attendant the one? Could he feel at total peace with her?</p><p>Was she ... What he needed and desired?</p><p>And wanted?</p><p>"I am still nobody, just a lucky bastard trying to get the love of his life back ... After so many years, I am still under her spell."</p><p>Without knowing, Nicholas began blabbing. More concentrated on his memories than actually telling a story. "I miss her deeply, her passionate kisses, her hugs, her caresses-"</p><p>"Would you shut up already fucking bastard? I didn't ask you about your life story," Levi had enough. His emotions were all over the place and he didn't know any of them. However, he was in good terms with anger. A feeling that he likes because he knows it better well. And the only thing he knows is that his anger increases with every word Nicholas says.</p><p>He didn't want to listen, he didn't want to know that Maria had cared for someone else before him.</p><p>"Oh, yes! My apologies Captain!"</p><p>Now they were a few meters away from getting home and Levi was in a strange predicament. Should he tell Maria that Nicholas was here? He needed to stop being so selfish, he was only thinking about himself and not about what Maria wanted.</p><p>"You stay out here, I'll bring out the documents," Levi said as he came to a sudden halt, they were in front of his home. First, he needed to ask Maria if she wanted to see him or not.</p><p>Nicholas nodded as he watched the Captain enter the house.</p><p>"I am back,"</p><p>Levi did not mean his words towards anyone. Alright, that was a lie.</p><p>He wasn't expecting to find the house spotlessly clean. Everything was taken care of, the table was clean, the floors were mopped and the aroma of the house was that of lavender. It truly calmed him but then, he remembered. The words that he said in the morning, and how rude he was with his teammate and his house attendant.</p><p>He needed to apologize.</p><p>"Welcome back Mr. Levi, I have diner ready," Maria went to greet him and for a moment, Levi wanted her to be angry at him. To tell him that he was a jerk to her and that she didn't deserve to be treated like that. But instead, he got a smile from her. "Everyone else already ate, we didn't expect you to get late today."</p><p>"I had some business to attend to," Levi said, he looked around and noticed that there was no one. It was pretty late at night and everyone must be asleep already. He decided that this must be his opportunity. "I want to apologize for this morning, I-"</p><p>"No, it's alright!" Maria interrupted the short man. She held his hands and without knowing it felt natural to Levi, it felt like her hands belonged with him. He didn't hate the act and at this point; he should know better that their relationship was beyond that of being professional. They were friends, very close friends indeed. "I am not angry, besides remember what I told you? Don't ever hold yourself back from asking me for help ... I am here to help and make your life as easy and as happy as possible."</p><p>Levi stared at her caramel eyes and he knew she was telling the truth. He couldn't do anything but to mentally punish himself for what he was about to do.</p><p>He was going to be selfish just this one time, just this one moment. And he hoped that if she ever finds out, she will forgive him.</p><p>"I am going to my room,"</p><p>His voice was fragile and Maria just watched him disappear into the hallway and into his room. Sometimes, she couldn't figure him out and the only thing she could do was to support him in the shadows.</p><p>A few moments passed and Maria noticed that Levi came out of his room holding some papers, probably documents from the Survey Corps.</p><p>And then, there were three knocks on the door.</p><p>"Oh, I'll go get it."</p><p>Maria made her way into the wooden door, ready to open it.</p><p>But she never got the chance to.</p><p>    A strong arm stopped her from opening the door, it was next to her shoulder and it didn't take her long to realize who's arms it was. She looks at the right hand that was stopping her from opening the door, the long and delicate fingers of Levi. She slowly turned around and without noticing Levi had embellished her. Her back was against the door while Levi's right hand was placed right next to her head. With his other hand, he grabbed the doorknob. His body close to hers and there was no doubt in Maria's mind that her heart beats faster whenever she's with him. She had forgotten this pleasant feeling but it didn't bother her.</p><p>Levi is a handsome man. Maybe not the most attractive one she's seen but definitely he was worth appreciating. His eyes were sharp, always intimidating but there were times where they show his gentle side. She found them comforting, like never-ending black pools. She could drown in them, in their mysteries but never feeling discomfort. His black hair was soft to the touch, sometimes well groomed. His face was clean, probably due that he took showers regularly and he smells like pines tree.</p><p>She was completely at trance, like a dream she didn't want to wake up.</p><p>"Oí, could you serve me diner while I attend the door? It's no one important, I just need to give out some documents."</p><p>With that, Maria woke up from her trance. She nodded and Levi let go of one hand, the one that was holding onto the doorknob. He watches her walk away and go into the kitchen until finally, she disappears from his sight.</p><p>Now, all he needed to do was to give the documents to the bastard that was outside his house.</p><p>"Only for this time ... Let me be selfish."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Tuesday night and everything was back to normal for the most part. But the mood had changed drastically since yesterday, it seemed like everyone was in a good mood. Especially Olou, who had gotten an apology from the Captain and that just made his ego increase. Now, going back with the situation of Maria not wanting to eat with the rest of the squad was brought up to the table.</p><p>"It's alright, I eat in the kitchen!"</p><p>"No, you can't! We need to get a bigger table," Petra said as she looked to her other comrades, looking for approval.</p><p>"I say we should go to town this weekend and get a new table," Gunther added as he elbowed Eld who was looking for an excuse to see Elena.</p><p>"She can just sit next to me, I don't mind-"</p><p>While everyone was fighting, Levi's words were left unnoticed. It was obvious that he didn't care much about the comfort of the brunette as long as it meant to have her close to him.</p><p>"I volunteer to go to town!</p><p>"No, it's ok! I'll eat in the kitchen it's fine! I am your maid after all!"</p><p>"You are not just our maid, you are our friend!"</p><p>"She can just sit next to me,"</p><p>"Let's all go to town this weekend!"</p><p>
  <em>Knock Knock</em>
</p><p>Everyone kept their quiet as they heard knocking from the door. It didn't take long for Maria to be the one to attend it.</p><p>"I'll go get it!" She said enthusiastically, at least the small argument will stop for a few minutes.</p><p>"No, I'll go get it."</p><p>This was getting strange for not only the brunette but for Levi's squad as well. For the brunette because since yesterday, Levi wouldn't let her open the door. He seemed very enthusiastic about opening it himself, for whatever reason it was. For his squad, it was strange because Captain Levi would always be the last person to ever attend a door call. He just wasn't one of chatting or letting people inside the house.</p><p>But of course, he knew the real reason. He just couldn't afford Nicholas Flaherty to come in and encounter Maria.</p><p>He slowly opens the door and he was relieved to find that it was just Ryan, a soldier who delivers mail to the rest of the Survey Corps.</p><p>"The mail is here," Levi said in a monotone voice, he never cared for mail since no one ever writes for him but his teammates had family who constantly wrote to them.</p><p>All of them stood up from the dining table, with a smile on their faces as one by one got their letters. From family and loved ones.</p><p>"Sorry, but I am heading to my room early. I want to read this at peace," Petra smile and waved goodbye to her friends before disappearing into her room.</p><p>"Yes, me too."</p><p>And with that, every one of the squad left to their rooms. It was a sudden change of mood, everyone was happy but now it was really quiet. Leaving Levi, Maria, and the mailman alone.</p><p>"Aren't you going to leave, Ryan?" Levi asked as he still held the door open.</p><p>"I still need to deliver one letter, it's from Erwin Smith to Ms. Maria," Ryan said as he pulled out one letter from his black bag. "I am requested to stay here until I get an answer."</p><p>"Uh? But I can't read," Maria replied, wondering what did Commander's advisor Erwin need from her.</p><p>Maria wasn't the only one who was intrigued by the letter, it was also Levi. Just what in the world was Erwing planning?</p><p>"If you don't mind, I'll read it out loud for you," Levi said and Maria nodded, giving him permission. Ryan handed out the letter to Levi and he was fast to accept it and open it.</p><p>There was no doubt that this was Erwin's handwriting. There was a bit of panic running through Levi's body and he began to read the letter.</p><p>Maria waited for Levi to start reading out loud, but instead, she noticed that he was just reading to himself. An angry expression began to form across his face.</p><p>"So, what does it say?" Maria asks but instead, Levi turns to Ryan. And if looks could kill, the poor man would have been dead a long time ago.</p><p>"Tell Erwin that he can take his request and shove it up to his ass-"</p><p>"Wait, I want to know what it says!"</p><p>Maria was fast to take the letter away from Levi's hand and she handed it over to Ryan.</p><p>"Could you please read it for me?"</p><p>The mailman was hesitant, especially because Levi was throwing him daggers at him with his eyes. But he still complied with the brunette's request, hoping that humanity's strongest soldier will stop himself from murdering him as long as the house attendant was here.</p><p>He took the letter from the brunette's hand and started reading.</p><p>
  <em>"This March 3rd, the Survey Corps is hosting an event to gather sponsors to collect money for our cause. Our regiment is suffering from financial problems and we need to take extreme measures. Therefore, I am asking the Survey Corps House Attendants to use their past knowledge as tavern workers to attend to the best of their abilities to our male guests for the night. By all means, you don't have to accept this request, but let it be known that I will highly appreciate your help."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Erwin Smith.</em>
</p><p>"So, all I have to do is to attend men, dance, and show my legs to get money for the Survey Corps?"</p><p>Maria wasn't one to be straightforward with her words but Levi appreciated it when she was. That was it, that was exactly what Erwin wanted. For the tavern dancers to spend the night with rich men so they could invest their money in the Survey Corps.</p><p>"Yes, I guess so," Ryan's voice was a bit shaky especially because Captain Levi didn't look the happiest.</p><p>"Tell Erwin, she's not doing it," Levi was already pushing the mailman outside of his house. Levi wished he had Erwin right in front of him so he could give him a piece of his mind. But then, he was interrupted by the brunette.</p><p>"I'll do it."</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>Levi didn't want to care. Actually, he was going to stop caring. Right this moment ...</p><p>But why the fuck he couldn't?</p><p>After Maria accepted Erwin's request, Levi decided to just go to his room. He was done for the night and just wanted to sleep. But of course, his insomnia wouldn't let him. He just laid on his bed, looking at the ceiling like a scolded child.</p><p>Just why ... couldn't he stop thinking about her?</p><p>Then, he heard knocks.</p><p>He didn't think too much about it, he knew who it was. And although he couldn't stop thinking about her, he didn't want to see her at the moment.</p><p>But again, knocks.</p><p>"Fuck off!"</p><p>"Thank you for letting me in!"</p><p>Maria entered the room regardless of Levi's words. She was holding a cup of black tea, hoping to make up with the short man. Although she didn't know what she needed to apologize for.</p><p>Levi laid on his bed, his back facing Maria. He really could be like a child sometimes. She closed the door behind her and walk towards humanity's strongest soldier.</p><p>The closer she got to him, the more Levi could smell the black tea. The aroma grew stronger and even when he was not looking directly at her, he knew that she had come here to influence him.</p><p>"If you think bringing me a cup of black tea is going to make me calm down, then you are completely wrong."</p><p>Maria didn't respond but instead just placed the cup of tea on the drawer next to Levi's bed.</p><p>She watched him not moving an inch and let out a sigh.</p><p>"Levi, do you think of me as a friend?"</p><p>"No,"</p><p>"Then why do you care about what I do?</p><p>That was a good question, why did he care? He cares for her as he cares for his teammates. That was just it ... it had to be it.</p><p>"I think there's a misunderstanding between us ... I was a tavern dancer and although it's not something I am very proud of, it's the only thing I know how to do well."</p><p>At that Levi had enough, he finally turns around and sat at the edge of his bed. Facing the brunette who was standing in front of him.</p><p>"You could get hurt, raped, or fucking kidnapped ... I just hate how you are willing to put yourself in danger for the sake of others."</p><p>"Isn't that kinda what your job is about as well?" Maria said as she places her arms across her chest.</p><p>"But I can take care of myself."</p><p>"I can take care of myself too! Or do you think I made it all of this way without having to handle drunk men trying to harm me?"</p><p>Levi stood quiet at Maria's words. He knew that there was a part of him that was overreacting and he had to admit that he was being a jerk by not accepting her decision. After all, she was a 24-year-old woman and she knew what she was doing.</p><p>"Even if you don't admit it, I am happy that you care for someone like me."</p><p>The house attendant took a few steps closers to him and she kneels in front of him. Both of her knees touching the floor. It seemed like this was the only way to get his attention as he didn't dare to look at her until now.</p><p>He stared at her brown eyes for a second and it was strange. The way she was acting, her mannerism, the way she was kneeling in front of him. It was as if she was asking him for permission.</p><p>And he just couldn't say no.</p><p>"Tsk ... Whatever," Levi rolled his eyes in annoyance but noticed that Maria let out a winning smile.</p><p>"Also, I have a gift for you," she was still at a kneeling position. She looks down to her white apron as she took something out of her apron's pocket. The brunette handed it over to Levi, it was a white paper and he perfectly knew what it was. It was the drawing they got together the day they went to town.</p><p>"I really love this drawing, so you can keep it as a guarantee ... If I do something stupid that puts me on harm, you can destroy it to teach me a lesson ... Or you can also just keep it, so you can see it whenever you miss me."</p><p>Maria of course was being sarcastic at the last part. But Levi didn't care too much at the moment. He took the drawing from Maria's hand and he began to appreciate it. It was torn apart because he had the other half of the drawing.</p><p>He was fast to open up one of the cabinets of the drawer that was next to his bed. Maria watched every movement he made and suddenly, he took a piece of paper. It was his part of the drawing.</p><p>Levi places it next to each other, completing the drawing. Maria sitting on a fancy chair, a delicate smile placed on her face. Gentle eyes and elegant posture. Levi was next to her, a hand placed on top of the chair in a protective manner. His features were strong and well defined, his eyes were sharp and he had a dominant figure. He likes how he looks taller than her, even when it was the opposite.</p><p>He didn't want to admit it, but he too was fond of this drawing portrait. Especially when it was complete like this. When the two pieces of paper came together to become one, to complete each other. And become the portrait he was fond of.</p><p>The detailed pen drawing of him and Maria ... together.</p><p>It could be cheesy and stupid.</p><p>But it was just something he couldn't deny.</p><p>"Fine."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>The weekend was here and  Levi couldn't believe he was about to go on a date with Petra.</p><p>The day before, she had gone with Maria to town to do <em>'girls' stuff</em>' and he really didn't care. But of course, he knew that they had gone shopping for dresses or something like that.</p><p>So it was only right that he had his fair share of grooming. He was always clean but today he took extra care of himself. Maria even helped him shave, cut off a little bit of his hair, and brush it. He still remembers her, softly caressing his hair.</p><p>
  <em>"I can do it by myself," Levi was sitting on a wooden chair in the restroom. He was facing the bathroom's mirror and a bucket of water next to him. Maria was behind him with a pair of scissors and a brush on her hands.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I know you can," Maria said as she continued grooming him. "But I can do it better."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Levi only let out a defeated sigh, he didn't care and at the moment he was enjoying her acts. He felt her soft, small hands run through his hair. The brush and her hands delicately messaging his scalp. Her lavender smell filled his senses and her body was close to his, giving him a certain feeling of comfort.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Yeah, she could do it all better. Without noticing, he slowly began to close his eyes. Drifting into a peaceful slumber, it was moments like these in which Levi deeply appreciated. He was at total peace, nothing going through his head. Just him and Maria ... living a peaceful moment of brief happiness.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Done," Maria whispered in his ear and Levi felt a shiver run down his spine as he woke up. Maria knew that Levi was asleep and she whispered on his ear as a way to softly wake him up.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"See, you look handsome!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Levi took a look at himself in the mirror. His hair was well-groomed. His hair was a tiny bit shorter but it made all the difference. All of his hair stayed together due to the water that Maria had used to groom and cut it. Only two strings of hair remind on his face and it was parted to the side just like always. There was no doubt that he looked better due that his eyes were more visible, his face features looked more defined and his jawline looked sharper.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But that's not what mattered to him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was Maria's face next to him. He appreciated her features through the mirror. Once again, there was a smile on her face. The one that made his heartbeat go faster.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Levi wasn't a 20 year old anymore. He was well aware of what was happening or of what may happen. But of course, he still was unknown to the feeling. He still wasn't sure but for all the gods he really wished ... that what was happening with him wasn't what he had on mind.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>There was no doubt that he desired her, craved for her even ... but there was another part of him. Another part that just didn't want lust. He wanted something deep, a meaningful relationship. And although that part of him was really small now, he was scared that it may grow bigger with time.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I am pretty sure Petra will like it," Maria said, still not moving away from him. "It makes me want to cut my hair short, it really can be a hassle."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Why don't you then?" Levi added, "I'll cut it for you."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Mira giggled, the scene of Levi cutting her hair looked comical. "No it's ok, I have my reasons. Besides don't you think I look better with long hair?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Levi gave it a thought. Maria would look good in any way, shape, or form. But he did find it pleasant the way her long brown hair delicately fell on her shoulders. The way it moved with the wind and how angelic it made her look. A thought of him brushing her hair came across his mind. Him softly caressing it, brushing each hair string and even playing with it on his fingers as he twirls her brown cascades of hair.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes, don't cut it," Levi said still entranced on Maria's brown hair. "I like your hair."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was a surprise for Maria to hear his comment. She moved her head and she was face to face with him. She looked at him directly on his eyes and it seemed like he was numb. As if he wasn't awake at all, like in a trance. He just stared at her and Maria felt a blush coming to her cheeks. There were times in which a man would look at her like that, especially Nicholas. And although she didn't think too much about it, the thought still was in her mind.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And she couldn't stop it, that feeling arose again ... a feeling which she thought it was forgotten.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Alright, I won't cut it."</em>
</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Now, here he was ... Eating diner with Petra at a fancy restaurant in town.</p><p>She was wearing a white dress with a blue corset. The sewing was beautifully done, it was almost to perfection. Her collarbones were showing and the corset really helped to shape her figure. Her light orange hair was softly brushed, her face had the small tint of makeup. She indeed was a beautiful young lady and Levi just couldn't help but wonder ... What was it about him that attracted her?</p><p>"What are you getting Captain?"</p><p>Petra's voice interrupted Levi's thoughts. He wasn't used to fancy diners like this, going to restaurants wasn't his thing. He barely came to places like this, only when it came to meeting other commanders to talk about the Survey Corps, money, and the fate of humanity. Not the best of memories, of course.</p><p>"I don't know ... Whatever you get I guess," he replied and in all honesty, he hated himself at the moment. He thought that it was pretty obvious, even to Petra that he wasn't here because he wanted to. Her eyes show a bit of disappointment but she wasn't at all sad. It was like the truth had hit her but it was comforting.</p><p>"You, don't want to be here ... right?"</p><p>Levi couldn't help it, he felt guilty. She is in love with him and he was just acting as if he didn't care. But also, Petra needed the truth.</p><p>"My apologies ... It's not that I don't care, it's just that I have a lot of things on my head."</p><p>" ... What is on your head ... does it have to do with Maria?"</p><p>Levi couldn't help it but look at the beautiful woman in front of him with surprised eyes. He waited for her to continue.</p><p>"Yesterday, she told me what happened between you and her last week."</p><p><em>"Stupid Maria ... I thought we had an agreement of never talking about that ever again," </em>Levi thought as he kept looking at Petra. Although the topic of conversation was uncomfortable he had to be man enough to confront it.</p><p>"Sorry, we-"</p><p>"No, it's alright! I am glad she told me," Petra looked down at the table. A bit in embarrassment and sadness. In heart, she always knew .. that there was just no hope for her. "She is a great friend and person ... and in all honesty, I would have done the same if I was her."</p><p>Even humanity's strongest soldier couldn't do anything but stay quiet. Just listen to the woman in front of him and sometimes, listening was everything that she needed. <br/>
Seeing that Levi was paying attention to her words, Petra decided to continue talking. It was one of the few times in which Petra saw Levi as a defenseless child.</p><p>"She told me about what happened with Nicholas ... It must have been hard for her, after so many years of wanting to forget him ... remembering the person who hurt her," Petra looks up from the table, and the act scared Levi just a tiny bit. "But you were there and you wanted to do it too ... She just wanted a way to forget him. To break free from the pain and even so ... She didn't do it, because of me."</p><p>Petra's face changed, her expression used to be a sad one but now it only showed admiration. He had made a promise to Maria to never talk about what happened that night. But if he was being honest, the only thing he could do was to think about that night. To think about her, her whole being and soul.</p><p>"Petra, I want to be honest with you," Levi said. "I may never be able to see you the way you want me to ... Don't get me wrong, you are beautiful, strong, smart. Any man would want to have a relationship with you."</p><p>Levi made a pause as he looks up to her, "But ... I respect and admire you too much to ever think of you in that manner. You deserve someone better than me."</p><p>Levi didn't know but his words meant more to Petra than anything else in the world. He said that she deserves someone better than him ... But what about what she wanted? There was no doubt that the more she looked at him ... the more she fell in love with him.</p><p>"You may not feel the same for me but ... But that won't stop me! If you don't mind ... I'll keep on trying!" Petra said, almost too loud. "Because I really ... Really like you, Levi!"</p><p>In his 28 years of life, this was his first love confession. It was pure, full of feelings, and love ... something that he thought he wasn't worthy of. Something he thought he was never going to experience because it simply was something he did not deserve. And yet again, here he was. With a beautiful woman confessing her love to him.</p><p>"It's fine by me," Levi replied and Petra received his answer with a sincere smile.</p><p>"Also there is a favor I wanted to ask you!"</p><p>Her words surprised Levi but he felt that the only thing he could do was to nod in agreement.</p><p>"Maria has helped me a lot and I want to help her too," Petra said as she leans in closer. The table shook a little due that there was more weight on the table. The white mantle moved as well but that only showed how determined Petra was for Levi to listen to her.</p><p>"I am sure that bastard Nicholas is looking for her and it's just a matter of time for him to find her,"</p><p>Many things happened tonight that might have surprised humanity's strongest soldier. But instead, the Captain find it more amusing than Petra had cursed. "So before that, I want to find her someone ... A good gentleman she can fall in love with, maybe someone from the Survey Corps?"</p><p>No, definitely. No one should be near her, she was just too good for anyone. No, Nicholas and certainly no bastard from the Survey Corps. It wasn't like he cared, actually she could be with anyone ... But just the thought.</p><p>He didn't know why, but it made him ... annoyed.</p><p>Levi stood quiet just wanting to listen to Petra.</p><p>"It really makes me angry ... Nicholas left her just when they were going to get married! She was so in love with him and to be honest, I think she still is ..." Petra let out a sigh, a bit of pain in her eyes. "Did you know that Maria hates having long hair but she keeps it that way because Nicholas once said he likes her long hair?"</p><p>
  <em>Why don't you then?" Levi added, "I'll cut it for you."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Mira giggled, the scene of Levi cutting her hair looked comical. "No it's ok, I have my reasons. Besides don't you think I look better with long hair?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes, don't cut it," Levi said still entranced on Maria's brown hair. "I like your hair."</em>
</p><p>He didn't know what it was, maybe it was because there was a lot of sound in the restaurant. Maybe because the candlelight was too strong on his eyes. Or maybe because he hasn't eaten.</p><p>Or maybe ... Just maybe ... It was because of what Petra had said.</p><p>Although he didn't know the exact reason why; he perfectly knew that feeling. He was angry, he even would dare to say he felt the tiniest of betrayed. He felt like a fool for even thinking about caring for her.</p><p>No, that was a lie.</p><p>He did care for Maria ... and even when he didn't want to admit it, he was hurt. Because what he thought was a meaningful moment between the two, he discovers that it wasn't that special. That someone had already taken his place.</p><p>And even when he didn't' want to admit it ... He had the tiniest of hope that maybe ...</p><p>"So, what do you say Captain?" Petra's voice interrupted his thoughts again, but this time he was too numb and too tired to think straight. "Would you help me?"</p><p>And that hope ... With just a few words ... It was shattered.</p><p>He was the stupid one ... he should have never cared.</p><p>"Yes, I'll help you."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Maria would be lying if she said that she didn't care. She did and a lot. The problem wasn't about caring itself but the problems that come with it. To care for someone means that you love them. Whether is romantically or not, love is involved. The brunette care for Levi and what scared her was that the friendly love she had for him might turn into something else.</p><p>In fact, she was probably starting to, without her noticing. She had known a lot of handsome men and although Levi wasn't at the top of her list, he still had his qualities. It was easy for him to make her blush and feel little butterflies on her stomach and Maria knew that this wasn't normal between 'friends' or whatever type of relationship they had. And she knew that it was all because of that night, maybe it was friendship what she felt for him but the intimate night they shared made her have mixed feelings. There was no doubt that there was tension between the two and of course it was because of the unfinished business they had. She was attracted to him, theres no doubt on that. After all, it's been a while since she had been with a man. For Levi, she wasn't quite sure. She didn't know if it was just a man thing, of wanting a woman just because they can. Stubborn until they have them.</p><p>For now, that was the only possibility in her mind that could explain why he was being nice to her because if Levi wanted, he could just hook up with any prostitute.</p><p>That made her heart shrink a little. The thought that Levi was only being nice to her because he wanted to have sex crossed her mind. That would explain so much ... but Maria refused to believe that. She wanted to believe that Levi was a different man and that the reason why he was nice and treated her differently from the others was that he saw her as a friend or that he was just a gentleman.</p><p>Now that she was finishing up her daily chores, her mind went back to the couple that should be having diner by now. They are probably talking about their lives, friends, their interests.</p><p>Maria felt better too because she was able to talk to Petra about what happened between Levi and her that night. Not, like something actually happened. She was glad that she understood her and it seemed like their bond had gotten stronger since she told Petra the truth. It was nice to have a forgiving and understanding friend.</p><p>She still remembers how beautiful Petra looked on the new dress she bought. There was no doubt that Levi will find her very attractive and if everything turned out fine, they might as well become a couple by the end of the night.</p><p><em>"It's getting a bit late ... I wonder if they will go somewhere else after diner," </em>Maria thought to herself as she finished moping the floor. <em>"I wonder if they will kiss by the end of tonight."</em></p><p>Suddenly, the thought crossed her mind. Levi pressing his lips against Petra and the couple looked so beautiful together that it seemed to be a sin to break them apart ... So then, what was this disappointing feeling in her heart?</p><p>She shook her head from side to side as she tried to get rid of the feeling.</p><p>
  <em>"I can't be sad, I should be happy for them,"</em>
</p><p>Maria tried again, but her heart wouldn't change. It wasn't only disappointment but also a little bit of jealousy that filled her heart.</p><p><em>"I haven't been on a date in so long ... I guess I am just nostalgic, yes that should be it!" </em>Maria let out a sigh in relief. <em>"There is no way I can feel jealous, that would mean I have other feelings for Levi and that's definitely not it ..."</em></p><p>
  <em>"Right?"</em>
</p><p>There were knocks on the door which interrupted her thoughts and she was glad because that way she could get distracted.</p><p>She walks towards the door, feeling like a housewive who receives guests. Slowly, she opens the wooden door, it was dark and it was hard to see. But from what she could tell, it was a young man. His back was facing her and he was wearing the uniform of the Survey Corps.</p><p>"How can I help you?" Maria asked.</p><p>At hearing the voice, the young man turns around.</p><p>"Yes, it's Captain Levi here? I need to return some documents-"</p><p>He looked different from the last time she saw him four years ago. But even when the years had passed, it did him well. His straight orange hair wasn't as long as she remembers. It looked soft to the touch as the wind slowly moved along with it. His dark blue eyes were bright although they looked tired, his eyes added assertiveness to his delicate face.</p><p>Maria knew that it was only a matter of time for him to find her.</p><p>But she just didn't think it was going to be this fast.</p><p>"Nicholas?"</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>A/N: Wow, almost 10k words for one chapter.</p><p>Anyways, I think everyone will like the next chapter.</p><p>Levi, although he doesn't show it much, feels the tiniest of jealousy. He had never felt jealous before like this, so it's gonna take him a while for him to find out this feeling and why he feels it.</p><p>What will happen now? How will Levi react to Maria and Nicholas' meeting? Will she keep it a secret? What is Petra's plan?</p><p>The next chapter is the Survey Corps's event to collect money ... This is going to be a fun chapter to write!</p><p>See you all next week!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Acceptance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Levi had stayed at a hotel in town while Petra had gone straight home after the date. The night had gone peacefully and he enjoyed the accompany, although the only thing he could think of was someone else.</p><p>He had stayed in town because the next day, he had some matters to attend to. Last night, he remembered that he still had Maria's blue blanket she had given him the first night they met. Of course, he wasn't planning on giving it back. He found comfort with it and the warmth of it helped him sleep better. Nonetheless, humanity's strongest soldier felt like he needed to give something back to her.</p><p>Now, here he was ... Walking through the town's market, looking to see if there was anything worth buying. What should he get her? Flowers? No, that seemed too cheap and even romantic. He didn't want her to think that he had other intentions. Fruits? No that would be too basic.</p><p>"Dresses! We sell beautiful dresses!"</p><p>Levi heard a merchant's voice scream almost on his ear. If this wasn't a signal from God, then he didn't know what it was.</p><p>
  <em>"Don't you have any other dresses?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I only have three, one to work, one to go out to town, and another for special occasions."</em>
</p><p>He walked towards the merchant, who greeted him with a smile. He was inside a small tent and dresses from all shapes and colors were hanging from the top and basically all around the tent.</p><p>"Hello, how can I help you?"</p><p>"I am looking for a gift, I am not well versed with dresses ... What do you recommend?" Levi said as he looks around the hanging dresses. Some colors were too bright, which from what he has seen, it wasn't Maria's style.</p><p>"Well, that depends ... What does your wife usually wear or how is she?"</p><p>A shiver ran down Levi's spine. He didn't want to explain himself and since he had pretended to be Maria's husband a couple of weeks ago, he decided that it wasn't that bad and he was going to go with the flow.</p><p>"She usually wears soft colors ... She is gentle and kind. Always cleaning and taking care of the house."</p><p>"I meant how is her body?" the merchant asked.</p><p>"And why the fuck would you want to know how my wife's body is?"                                           </p><p>The short man was about to throw hands with the merchant. He didn't even know his wife and he already wanted to fantasize about her body?</p><p>"Sir, I need to know so that way I can pick a size."</p><p>"Oh-" Levi felt a little bit of heat going to his cheeks but quickly got rid of the feeling. "She is around 5'6 and she is a medium-size from what I can see."</p><p>"Got kids?"</p><p>Levi felt a bit annoyed at the question but he still decided to reply. "No."</p><p>"Well, then I recommend this," the dress merchant went under the counter and Levi just watched him disappear for a moment. Looking through his stuff, the merchant was quick to take out a beautiful white dress. With beautiful flower embroidery at the edge of the dress. Short sleeves and the top part will allow her to show off her collarbones. The dress was completely white but the pink corset will adjust to her waist and push up her breasts.</p><p>Levi could already picture it.</p><p>Maria wearing the dress, walking through a flower field as her hands caress them. The sunset touching her face, making her eyes shine. The wind moving freely along her hair as she turns around and faces him. Inviting him to join her, hold hands, and walk into the horizon.</p><p>"I'll take it," he said.</p><p>"Great, I am sure your wife will love it," the merchant said as he took out a paper bag. "I am sure your wife most be very beautiful and a great woman. I see she makes you happy."</p><p>This was a feeling that Levi recognized although he wasn't too familiar with it. He likes it when people praise Maria and him. Whenever they are together and people think they are together, when they tell him that he has a beautiful and great wife ... It was strange but he felt proud. Not even having the title of <em>'humanity's strongest soldier</em>' could compare to the feeling of having Maria as his <em>'wife'</em>.</p><p>"Yes, she makes me really happy."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>The dress came out to be a little bit more expensive than he thought. He won't be able to buy black tea for a couple of weeks but it was worth it.</p><p>For some reason, he was looking forward to giving Maria the dress he bought for her. He wanted to see her face, her smile, and surprised look. And if he was lucky, maybe he could even get a hug or something.</p><p>
  <em>"Alright, this needs to stop ... I can't feel like that. Its' not possible."</em>
</p><p>He was finally home and he felt relieved to be back. Levi opens the door easily, which surprised him. He knew for sure that he had told Maria to always check if the door was locked before going to sleep.</p><p>When he entered, he planned on going to his room. Nonetheless, he found something interesting in the dining room. A sleeping figure. Positioned to face directly the door, Maria was deep asleep. Her mouth a little open and even some saliva rested next to her lips.</p><p>
  <em>"How can I stop feeling like this when she is acting so ... adorable."</em>
</p><p>"Be careful to not wake her up,"</p><p>Levi slowly turns around as he found Petra on her pajamas. It seemed like she had just woken up.</p><p>"I told her that you were going to stay at a hotel in town but she still decided to stay awake and wait for you just in case you changed your mind," Petra walked next to Levi, a smile decorated her face as she noticed how comical Maria looked.</p><p>"It seems like she had a date of her own yesterday," Petra said. "I couldn't see him because it was too dark and he left when I got there."</p><p>This caught Levi's attention. Just who the heck was visiting Maria late at night? He had to admit that he was a bit rattle and even angry at the new information he had got from Petra.</p><p>"Did she tell you who it was?"</p><p>"She said it was one of her deceased brother's friend, which I don't mind. This might be our first step into getting Maria a boyfriend," Petra let out a small giggle, smiling.</p><p>"Yeah ... We will see about that."</p><p>Levi appreciated the brunette, she looked so peaceful at the moment but right now he cared about only one thing.</p><p>"WAKE UP, TAVERN SHIT!"</p><p>Levi said as he kicked the chair Maria sat on. The act not only surprised Petra but Maria as well, she jumped from her seat, her heart beating fast.</p><p>"Care to explain who give you permission to bring a guest last night?"</p><p>Maria took a short moment to appreciate Levi. He was clearly angry for whatever reason, he had a frown on his face. His eyes threatened to kill ... nothing out of the usual, maybe just that he was caring a paper bag.</p><p>"And you care to explain why you didn't tell me you were going to stay in town?"</p><p>The house attendant needed to change topics. She was angry as well with the short man but she also didn't want to explain what happened last night. Maria didn't want to bring up Nicholas no matter what.</p><p>"Petra told you, didn't she? Besides, I am an adult. I know what I am doing!" Levi knew exactly what she was trying to do. Make him forget about the previous topic of her bringing a male to their house. "What makes you think you can bring a stranger to our house?"</p><p>"We were outside! And we just talked! And even if something happened, I am an adult and I know what I am doing!"</p><p>Again, she was using her power to leave him speechless. Using his own words against him.</p><p>"No, you can't!"</p><p>"And why not?" Maria asks as she places her arms across her chest.</p><p>"Because you and I-"</p><p>Levi suddenly stops himself. He had enough, he didn't want to fight with Maria. Much less when he knew that Petra was still watching. They only stared at each other's eyes, now it was an intense stare fight.</p><p>"Pfft,"</p><p>They heard small giggles and this made their attention focus on Petra who was containing her laugher. "You two sound like a married couple."</p><p>Her words caught them off guard, they both looked at each other with a disgusted look and simultaneously they said;</p><p>"We do not!"</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>It wasn't like she didn't want to do this, in all honestly she thought that this could be something interesting to learn.</p><p>Levi and Maria were on the Survey Corps prairies, miles of green grass and Levi thought that this was the best place to give Maria some proper self-defense classes.</p><p>"I appreciate you doing this, but do you think right now is the proper time? I have a lot of things to finish at home," Maria said as she faced the short man. A few meters away from her. "Besides, I don't have proper clothes for training."</p><p>"You can finish your duties later ... As far as your clothes, it's better if you wear your dress. After all, it's the thing that you wear frequently. If you ever get attacked, you most likely be wearing one."</p><p>Levi was in his normal attire. White shirt and black pants. His stance was a bit rigid but with no intention to fight whatsoever.</p><p>Maria just accepted the fact that Levi must be a natural at fighting too. Probably he even invited his own fighting style.</p><p>"Alright listen, you are no soldier. Regular fighting techniques won't apply to you. So, I'll teach you how to fight dirty," Levi began to roll up his sleeves. He had one goal in mind and that was to teach Maria how to defend herself in case someone attacks her and he is not there to defend her. "There are 7 rules for self-defense."</p><p>"One, be aware of your surroundings, walk confidently, and avoid eye contact, avoid confrontation ... especially you, who have no previous training," Levi began to walk around her, studying her body. Not in a perverted way, just to see if she had any weakness. "As a last resort, attack first ... Hit the groin, eyes or throat, yell for help, and most importantly, don't hold yourself back. Fight to kill unless you have the opportunity to run away."</p><p>The brunette tried her best from stopping herself from blushing. She just could feel Levi's eyes on her, fully examining her body. The only thing she could do was to nod at his instructions.</p><p>The soldier noticed her sudden change in mannerism. She looks down, concentrating more at how the wind moved across the grass than his actual words. A small blush decorated her face as she played with her hands in front of her ... It was strange to see her this shy.</p><p><em>"If she acts like this when men look at her ... Then she looks all the more desirable to them!" </em>Levi let's out an angry sigh, just the thought of it bothered him.</p><p>Maria, being the ex-saloon girl she was, she was used to men looking at her. All of their eyes filled with lust. But with Levi, something was different. The way he looks at her ... is lust, desire ... and something else. A feeling within him that she couldn't quite describe.</p><p>It wasn't only that. She felt nervous because whether she wants it or not ... She felt attracted to the man.</p><p>"Finally, remember to use your enemy's weakness against them," Levi said as he once again stood in front of the house attendant.</p><p>"Now, attack me."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"I said ... Attack me."   </p><p>His deep voice sent a shiver down her spine. He was serious about this, but he was in no fighting position.</p><p>Maria began to panic as she didn't know what to do. She had never gotten in a physical fight before ... Well, that was a lie. She had fought other females before in her youth but never a man. Where do you even start attacking?</p><p>
  <em>"As a last resort, attack first ... Hit the groin, eyes, or throat."</em>
</p><p>All right, she needed to take action. Especially because Levi was standing, waiting.</p><p>Without notice, she ran towards him and he didn't flinch not even a little. Her plan was easy, to kick him in the groin, the place it hurts the most. When she was close enough to him, she picks up her leg to try and kick him. But she was so inexperienced that Levi let out a small smile at her pathetic attempt.</p><p>He quickly grabs her right leg with one hand, which makes her lose balance. Levi had her pinned against the ground, he was holding her wrists. One of his legs in between her thighs so she couldn't move nor escape.</p><p>This was mostly all to teach her a lesson, and hopefully, in due time she will learn how to react to these situations.</p><p>"If you are pinned to the ground like this, then remember you can-"</p><p>Oh, how much he hated when she left him speechless like this.</p><p>Her hair was spread across the grass, there was no resistance coming from her as she had given up on fighting the moment he got on top of her. Her brown eyes glowed on the sunlight, making Levi appreciate her two pools of caramel eyes.</p><p>Soft breaths escaped her lips, pink cheeks decorated her face as the heat of the sun touched her skin directly. Her chest rises up and down underneath him and he feels totally entranced by her whole being.</p><p>And suddenly he felt her. She uses her left leg to caress his leg and the movement made her dress drop all way to her thigh.</p><p>In that instant, Levi couldn't think of anything but caress and touch her exposed leg. It looked so soft to the touch and without thinking too much about it, he did it.</p><p>He lets go of one of her wrists as he places his strong hand on her leg. It was everything he dreamed of, her skin like the petal of a rose. Slowly, his fingers began to make their way up her legs, all the way to her thighs. Wanting to touch more, to feel her more. Explore every inch of her body and mark it as his own.</p><p>It was like a sweet dream but quickly he was pulled down to hell as he felt intense pain in his groin.</p><p>She was playing with him and he fell into her trap.</p><p>Suddenly, he wasn't on top of her anymore. Instead, Maria had made her way on top of him. She sat down on his thighs preventing him from fully standing up.</p><p>The pain was intense but nothing he couldn't handle. As well that he was sure that Maria didn't use all of her force on him.</p><p>Nonetheless, he needed to write a mental note ... She had a powerful knee.</p><p>"I won!" Maria had a victorious smile on her face. But Levi would dare to say that he had won as well as he was enjoying the view too much.</p><p>"You play dirty," Levi added as he began to feel too comfortable. He places his hands behind his head to have more support and be able to see the brunette better.</p><p>"You were the one who told me to use my enemy's weakness against them and I just followed orders," Maria teased him as she moved away from him. Not too far, she laid down next to him. Enjoying again the soft grass on the back of her body.</p><p>"Since when are you so obedient?" Levi turned his head to look at Maria, their faces very close to each other. But they weren't uncomfortable, all the contrary ... It was like they were meant to be together like this.</p><p>"Since you started getting angry at me."</p><p>"Well, I shall be a little bit rougher with you from time to time," Levi knew exactly what was going on.</p><p>He knew this was small flirting which he didn't mind at all. Well, at least he was flirting on his side, it all depended if Maria wanted to follow along with his game. At this point in their relationship, they were past being friends. Officially, they were 'friends' but their relationship had gone beyond that. He didn't know what to label it or even if it was worth labeling it.</p><p>But at the moment, he didn't care. The only thing he cared about was Maria, the way she looks so peaceful next to him, her lavender smell, and the way their hearts beat at the same rhythm.</p><p>He didn't want to ask but his heart was begging him too ... And he just couldn't stop himself.</p><p>"Maria,"</p><p>His voice was softer and for a moment he cursed her mentally because she was making him feel things he didn't want to feel.</p><p>"Would you caress my hair?"</p><p>Wow, he hated it. Being this vulnerable, begging her like a puppy. He is scared to open up about the things that he wants but with her ... it could be different. For her, it didn't matter. It didn't matter if she laughed at him or thought it was a pathetic request ... He was alright, with whatever she does.</p><p>And that was a problem he needed to take care of ... but later.</p><p>At hearing his request, the house attendant takes a sitting position. She pats her dress as to take away the dirt from the ground. She patted again on her thighs as an invitation for Levi to place his head on her lap.</p><p>She saw his eyes shine for a moment as he made his way to her. He softly placed his head on Maria's lap and he couldn't think of a better place to be right now.</p><p>Letting out a small sigh, Levi felt Maria's soft hands touch his hair. Massing his scalp and caressing each strand of his short hair.</p><p>Levi had never thought of heaven being real but if something similar existed, then this was it for him.</p><p>Maria appreciated Levi again. His eyes were close and his chest rose up and down as he took small breaths. His black hair was soft, just like last time she brushed it. She played with it, twirling strings of hair in her fingers.</p><p>For a short moment, nothing mattered. Just them, just the way Levi felt at total peace when he was with Maria. Just how Maria felt happy by seeing him be at peace. They complimented each other and they didn't even know it.</p><p>And for now ... They only thought of each other.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>The next day Maria was finding herself in trouble. She was in the kitchen, trying to make breakfast but the can she needed was in a top cabinet and she was unable to reach it.</p><p>"Hey, Maria ... Everything alright?"</p><p>It was Eld who came inside the kitchen. He and Maria had a good relationship ever since she advised him on the ways to conquer the heart of Elena. Just like an older brother, Eld watched out for Maria and her well being.</p><p>"Goodmorning Eld! Actually, can you get that can for me? I can't reach it." Maria said as she pointed at the top cabinet.</p><p>"I have a better idea,"</p><p>Suddenly, Maria felt strong hands around her waist and she was elevated from the ground.</p><p>"Ah!" she exclaimed in surprise and she could finally see the can she was looking for.</p><p>"Do you see it?" Eld asks.</p><p>"Yes!" she was quick to grab the red can. "Now, you can put me down."</p><p>"Have you been eating properly? You are not heavy at all." Eld was then fast to move Maria up and down as if she was a rag doll.</p><p>"Yes! Now put me down!" Maria let out a small giggle, actually enjoying the moment.</p><p>"No, let's spin you around a little longer!"</p><p>With his words, he was fast to place Maria on his shoulders. Grabbing her by her waist with one hand and with the other, he held her legs. He began to run in circles and although Maria was scared, she knew that Eld wasn't going to drop her. Laughter and giggles escaped from the brunette's mouth, loud enough for everyone in the house to hear.</p><p>"Haha! Come on put me down! I need to make breakfast!" Maria said as Eld was still spinning her around.</p><p>"Not until you throw up!"</p><p>"I advise you to put her down unless you want to get in trouble."</p><p>Eld came to a sudden stop as he heard Captain Levi's voice.</p><p>The Captain never looks happy, actually, you could say he always looks angry. Nonetheless right now ... He looks totally displeased. Indignant even.</p><p>Eld was never scared of Levi but at this moment, the soldier could tell why the Captain was feared by everyone in the Survey Corps.</p><p>"Oh sorry sir, were we too loud?"Eld asks as he puts Maria on the ground. Unconsciously, his hand was still placed on her back to give her support.</p><p>"Yes, I need Maria to do my morning tea. I would appreciate it if you keep it quiet until then," Levi said as he notices that Eld was still holding into Maria. "What were you doing anyway?"</p><p>"Eld was helping get a can from the top cabinet," Maria replied. She didn't mind Eld's hand on her back since at the moment she was worrying more about Levi. "And we just started to play a little-"</p><p>Levi knew that Maria was still talking, trying to excuse herself. Nonetheless, everything that Levi could focus on was Eld's hand on Maria's back.</p><p>"And he started to spin me around and-"</p><p>"Eld, could you go wake up Petra, Gunther, and Oluo ... Is getting late."</p><p>Levi interrupted her, looking for any excuse to make Eld stay away from the brunette.</p><p>"Yes, sir!"</p><p>And with that, Eld left the kitchen. Leaving the house attendant and humanity's strongest soldier alone.</p><p>The brunette noticed that Levi began to walk towards her, an angry expression on his face.</p><p>"Next time you need help with something ... Don't hesitate to ask me first."</p><p>Maria let out a small giggle, he had good intentions but some things were over his abilities.</p><p>"But, with your height ... how were you supposed to help me?"</p><p>Maria didn't mean it in a bad way but Levi's pride was a bit hurt. He didn't want to admit it but deep down he was self-conscious of his height.</p><p>
  <em>"Does she think of me as less useful because of my height? ... Does she see me ... as less attractive too?"</em>
</p><p>"Tsk, whatever ... This is the last time I try to be nice to you," Levi looks to the side as to avoid eye contact. Feeling the tiniest of embarrassment.</p><p>"Oh, I didn't mean to offend you!" Maria said quickly. "I think your height is very cute actually and it's your most outstanding trait."</p><p>Did she even know what she was doing to him when she said things so lightly like that?</p><p>"I am not cute."</p><p>"Well, then you are a very attractive man," Maria smiles at him, she was looking almost too desirable. "With a face like yours, I sure the ladies wouldn't care too much about your height." </p><p>"But ... Do you care?"</p><p>Levi didn't mean to ask that, it came out unintentionally. He wanted to run away, to hide even. And he cursed mentally because he must be looking like a total fool.</p><p>"Umm ... I don't care too much, although I've only dated tall men," she responded as she looks up in a thinking manner.</p><p>"Alright, I've heard enough."</p><p>Maria notices a change in Levi's mood. He wasn't angry any longer but there was a different aura around him. Something she couldn't quite describe ... rejection, maybe?</p><p>"But! If I found a good man like yourself ... It wouldn't matter how he looks like," Maria said, a bit embarrassed about what she was going to say. "As long as he loves me and wants children ... I'll probably marry him even."</p><p>Levi looks up to her and it seems like her words had gotten to him. He looks more relaxed and his rigid stance was softer.</p><p>"But as things are going, I don't think I'll be going out with anyone soon," Maria let out a small giggle as she tried to change the topic. This time, she turns around and faced the kitchen counter trying to look for a knife to open up the can she had in her hand. "Besides who will marry a tavern dancer, right?"</p><p>"I would."</p><p>Maria quickly turns around, not believing what she heard. "What?"</p><p>"Ah! Maria is the food ready? I am hungry!"</p><p>Oluo entered the kitchen with a lamenting face. Immediately, the brunette forgot about the previous moment and with a smile, she responded,</p><p>"Yes, I'll serve you soon."</p><p>Levi only sighed in disappointment. He will remember this as he will make Oluo run extra laps around the flower fields today.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Maria wasn't herself these last days. She was well aware of that, especially because of <em>him</em>. Ever since Nicholas visited her, many questions arose within her.</p><p>
  <em>"Please just give me five minutes to explain myself!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Nicholas, I don't want to hear it. I am still hurting but it's over ... I ... I don't want to see you anymore-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Suddenly, a memory came across her mind.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I just would like for you to make the decision that you will regret the least."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Promise me that you won't be afraid to experience love and I promise you that I won't be afraid of accepting love again."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria looks at the man in front of her. He was still as handsome as she remembers and although she wanted to say no, she remembered the promise she and Levi made.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And she had to fulfill it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You have five minutes."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"And then I was thrown into jail for four years,"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nicholas finished his story. They were just right outside the house and although there was only one candlelight illuminating them, Maria could still see his blue eyes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"And the only thing that kept me sane was you ... I thought of you always. I even wrote you letters! I couldn't send them but I had hope that one day I could read them to you."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Do you still have them? The letters?" Maria asked, her eye lowered a little in embarrassment.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes, I do! If you want I can give them to you ... Did you learn how to read while I was away?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No," the house attendant now looks up to him and for a moment the only thing he wanted to do was to hold her. To feel her close to him. "But if you wrote them for me ... Then I think it's my responsibility ... To have them and .. try my best to read them."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>God, how much he loved her. And how much he still does. He knew he had failed her and it pained him. Just the thought of her, waiting for him day after day. How long did it take for her to give up on him? How long did she wait for him?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Did you ... ever get married?" The question came out of his mouth without thinking about it but he didn't regret it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Uh?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"It's alright if you did ... Maria, you know that I'll be happy as long as you are happy ... but I was just wondering-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I didn't ... I tried to be romantically involved with other men but it wouldn't be fair to them ... because I didn't love them, I could only think about you," Maria felt her voice break a little, tears began to form in her eyes. "And even now ... I-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And Nicholas couldn't hold back. He kisses her softly, delicate but with so much passion. So many feelings were going through his heart. He missed her so deeply her body, face, her soul. There were different things that kept him alive when he was in jail but one of them was her happiness. He didn't care if she had found happiness with someone else ... he just wanted to be there for her. To know that she was happy and to be part of that.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He loved her unconditionally, even if she doesn't any longer.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>After a few seconds of tasting her lips, Nicholas separated from her but he still stared at her caramel eyes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"If you don't love me any longer that's ok ..." Nicholas' face was close to hers and Maria would be lying if she said that she didn't miss him deeply. "I am not asking you to love me again either ... What I am asking is for you to let me be part of whatever happiness you have and ... If I can be the one to give you that happiness ... I'll be the most blessed man in the world."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>They both had suffered and a lot. A part of Maria wanted to jump into his arms and kiss him again, to forget the past and move on. But another part was telling her to think again and this part was thinking of only one person.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Levi.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Why does she think of him in these moments? Why does she feel like crying at the thought of him seeing her like this with Nicholas?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You don't have to give me an answer right now ... You know I am patient," Nicholas then grabbed her by the hands and began to kiss them delicately. "My feelings for you will never change ... but please ... let me see you from time to time."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The house attendant was hesitant but she just couldn't deny him. His voice, his eyes ... If there was one thing that she still loved about him was how sincere he was with his actions. Not only that but she could still feel how fast his heart beats against hers.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He was ... So honest, he knew what he wanted.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Alright, but not here let's meet next week by the river ... I don't want Captain Levi to see you," Maria said as she began to look around just in case Levi decided to do once of his iconic and sudden appearances.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"That reminds me ... It's strange but I was actually talking to him about you and-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What?" Maria interrupted him, a bit of a blush on her face.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Well, I was looking for you and I described you and I asked if you lived with him as his house attendant ... But he said no," Nicholas gave it a thought and began to wonder many things about the Captain of the Special Operation Squad.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"He said ... No?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes, how strange ..." Nicholas decided to let go of the thought, after all, he didn't have the time to think about that when he had just found the love of his life again. "Anyways ... I am really happy to have found you and I can't wait to give you the letters I wrote for you-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Maria?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The brunette recognized the voice immediately, it was Petra who was walking towards the house. A few meters away.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I'll see you on Wednesday afternoon on the river ... Now go!" Maria pushed Nicholas away and he gave her hands one last kiss before nodding.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I'll wait for you, my love."</em>
</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>"Are you alright?"</p><p>The house attendant felt a shiver run down her spine as she heard Levi's deep voice.</p><p>"Yes! Just please stop moving so much,"</p><p>Maria was working on making Levi's suit for this Saturday's event in town. He was very much against it but since Erwin had commanded him to come, there was no much he could do.</p><p>"You have pinched me with the needles around five times ..." Levi said as he notices that Maria was focusing on making some stitches to his suit. "If anyone is to blame it's you ... You have been awfully distracted lately."</p><p>There was a pause, a silence and Levi knew that there was something in her mind. Anguish, preoccupation ... and something else he couldn't tell.</p><p>If there was one way ... To make that sad face of hers go away ... he will do anything.</p><p>"Let's take a break," Levi said as he came down from chair. Maria needed to make sure his sleeves were the right size and to be able to do that, Levi needed to be put in a higher position. This is why he never liked going to the tailor and order a suits. He was put in a humiliating position, but he was comfortable with Maria. He knew she won't judge him.</p><p>"I need to show you something," Levi added and he went to his room.</p><p>Maria watched him disappear for a few seconds and just as he went inside his room, he came out. Holding three things: White paper, a pen, and a book.</p><p>He sat down on the dining table and spread the things on the table.</p><p>"I am not a good teacher ... But you might learn a thing or two."</p><p>Then, he saw it. A glow in her eyes as she smiled at him. His heart was warm and if this was what it took to make her happy, then he will do it every day.</p><p>He didn't know why, but making her happy ... Made him feel a tiny bit of happiness as well.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>"Not bad, now write it on your own."</p><p>Time passed quickly, Levi had spent the last hour teaching Maria how to write and read. She was a bit slow but she was making progress.</p><p>He enjoyed seeing her determined face, she was struggling at first. But now when she reads the words come out easier. Reading syllable per syllable, she was like a small kid.</p><p>But it amused him, her voice, the way she was excited, the way she would ask him questions. The way she was looking for his approval.</p><p>She will smile whenever he said things like<em> 'Good', 'Not bad,' </em>and even, <em>'It could be worse.'</em></p><p>"I did it!"</p><p>Maria said excitedly as she almost shoved the paper into Levi's face. <br/>    It was horrible handwriting but he could understand it fully.</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Levi</em>
  </b>
</p><p>"I wrote your name! Do you like it?"</p><p>Oh, if only he could find the right words. He didn't know what he was feeling. A certain heat rose in his cheeks. His hands became sweaty and his legs began to tremble.</p><p>What was he feeling? It was uncomfortable but ... He didn't hate it too much.</p><p>"I've seen better," Levi said as he grabbed the paper with his hand, taking a second to appreciate Maria's handwriting.</p><p>"You've seen better handwriting? Where? In love letters?"</p><p>"In wanted posters,"</p><p>There was a pause again and although Levi wasn't trying to be funny, Maria couldn't help but let out a small laugh.</p><p>Her voice filled the room, like music, something that Levi never wanted to stop hearing. A sweet melody made just for him.</p><p>The Captain also let out a small laugh and although at first, Maria would be surprised, she has to admit that it was a pleasant sound.</p><p>"You should laugh more often ... You are very charming when you laugh."</p><p>For Maria, it was a simple compliment. Everyone could say that she was used to the act of complementing men since it used to be part of her job. But this time she meant it. Levi could be hard to read but that was also part of his charm.</p><p>On the other hand, Levi just wasn't used to getting compliments, much less from females. He didn't know how to react either, usually, he only knows insults and curse words. But it didn't feel right to use those kinds of things with her.</p><p>"You too," he said.</p><p>"Uh?"</p><p>"You are very charming,"</p><p>She felt a blush forming in her face as they stared at each other's eyes. Dark eyes met caramel ones and for a moment the world stops. Unconsciously, they began to pull towards each other, getting closer. They sat on the dining table, a few inches away from each other. A few candle lights illuminated their faces and the only thing that Levi knew at the moment was that he wanted to taste her lips.</p><p>He just wanted to know if they were as soft as they look. To know what flavor she was ... Something sweet like her? Maybe something addicting? He didn't know, but he was sure that he was going to love every flavor of it.</p><p>Maria's heart began to beat faster ... There was no doubt that she wanted what he wanted. To finally be able to taste each other, to know what the other felt. And as they felt each other's breaths in their lips they knew ...</p><p>That this couldn't be a friendship anymore.</p><p>
  <em>"What I am asking is for you to let me be part of whatever happiness you have and ... If I can be the one to give you that happiness ... I'll be the most blessed man in the world."</em>
</p><p>Maria suddenly pulls away as she remembers the words of her previous lover. How can she be this selfish? Levi doesn't love her and she should know better than to be involved with him. He was a great man but she still had her doubts whether he only sees her as his house attendant or more. She still couldn't figure out ... If he was only being nice to her because he wants to sleep with her. Not only that but ...</p><p>Nicholas.</p><p>"I am sorry," Maria said as she stood up from her seat. "I am a bit tired, I'll be going to my room ... Thank you for tonight Levi."</p><p>Levi was having his moment of realization and so many things were going through his head but he couldn't find the moment to figure them out, especially now. "Anytime."</p><p>With that Maria left him, alone on the dining table and holding a piece of paper that had his name on it. It may be a simple thing, just a paper that could go to the trash ... But for Levi? He knew that he was to keep this as a treasure.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>     The next morning was a bit awkward, especially since Maria couldn't stop thinking about what almost happened yesterday. There were many things that she could hide, but hiding that she was embarrassed was not one of them.</p><p>Levi, of course, noticed this and he had to admit that it was fun to look at her. It only took him a single look, a single smirk and she would be looking the other way with a blush on her cheeks.</p><p>"Ah!"</p><p>Maria's voice had made it's way to Levi's ear. Quickly he looked to where her voice was coming from. They were having a nice morning but it seemed like things were taking a different turn.</p><p>"Are you alright? I am sorry, does it hurt?"</p><p>Gunther was apologizing like crazy, he was going to the kitchen when Maria was coming out holding Levi's cup of black tea. The hot liquid had splattered in her chest and onto her dress, leaving a dark stain.</p><p>"It hurts a little," Maria said as she places her hands on her chest. "But the teacup ..."</p><p>Maria looks over at the porcelain teacup which was no shattered into pieces.</p><p>Everyone began to surround her, worried about her. While everyone was standing up to get near her, Levi was already next to her almost pushing Gunther away with hate.</p><p>"Let me see your chest," Levi's words came out without thinking too much about it. It wasn't only Maria who was blushing but everyone else as well. Everyone kept quiet as they look at their Captain with amusement.</p><p>"I just want to see if she got burned or not! Dammit!"</p><p>Everyone let out a sigh in relief as the Captain rolled his eyes.</p><p>The brunette slowly began to remove her hands from her chest, revealing the liquid on her skin and the stains on her dress. From what Levi was seeing, she was fine.</p><p>"You will be fine, the skin is a bit irritated but it won't leave a mark."</p><p>The area was red but it wasn't anything serious. He stared for a little bit longer as a small drop of tea had made its way in between Maria's breasts.</p><p>He realized soon that Maria was starting to get embarrassed not only because he was looking but because Gunther was looking as well.</p><p>"Oi, stop looking!" Levi proceeds to smack Gunther's head and he almost fell to the floor for how hard the hit was.</p><p>"Sorry!" he said as he massaged his head to relieve the pain.</p><p>"I am sorry, I dropped the cup," Maria looks once again at the shattered teacup on the floor. Everyone thought that she was going to get the screaming of her life since she had dropped Levi's favorite teacup. But it didn't go as they thought.</p><p>"It's alright ... As long as you are not hurt."</p><p>Everyone was left with their mouths open, Captain Levi had definitely changed these last weeks.</p><p>"Now my dress is dirty, this is the only one I had clean ... I was going to wash today," Maria gave it a thought, maybe she could wear her pajamas but that wouldn't be proper of her. "I guess I am going to have to go out like this."</p><p>This was the perfect time for Levi to bring up the topic that he had bought a dress for her. He has had it since Monday but he just couldn't come up with an excuse to give it to her.</p><p>"I can lend you some clothes!" Petra said as she stepped on the scene. "They are a bit old, but I think they will fit you!"</p><p>Maybe Levi will have to wait for another time.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>"How can you even walk on this ... pants?"</p><p>Petra had lend Maria one of her old clothes. It was the white shirt and pants of the uniform of the Survey Corps. She even gave her some brown boots to match.</p><p>"These are a bit tight ... Honestly, how can you even move with these?" Maria made all kinds of weird movements to try to make the clothing a little bit loose.</p><p>"Says the girl who wears heavy dresses all day," Petra said sarcastically. "Besides they look good on you."</p><p>"Aren't they a bit too tight?"</p><p>"Well, these clothes are from two years ago. I was skinner back then."</p><p>The house attendant gave a quick look at Petra. She was slim as it is, how can she possibly be skinner? Maria started to become self-conscious again. She barely fit into the pants and the white shirt was tight as well, her breast almost threatening to pop out the buttons.</p><p>" ... Do I look ... Fat?" she asked.</p><p>"What? No, you don't!"</p><p>"Don't lie! I know-"</p><p>"Petra, we need to leave now-"</p><p>Levi then entered the dining room. Oluo, Gunther, and Eld had already left for the Survey Corps' training ground. Levi was also going to leave but decided to wait for Petra as she was helping Maria change her clothes.</p><p>"Captain! Do you think Maria looks fat?" Petra asked, hoping that Levi wouldn't say something indelicate like he usually does.</p><p>Was God testing him? This was the first time he saw Maria wearing pants and a shirt. He had seen her wear his clothes as pajamas before but this time it was different. The clothes were considerably tight on her, the white shirt moved nicely around her waist and her chest was more visible. She was a regular size, not too big nor too small. But the old shirt was small for her, making her chest look more voluptuous.</p><p>The pants wrapped around her curves nicely and he whished nothing but to see her back.</p><p>"Turn around,"</p><p>Maria didn't think too much about it, she gave a quick turn and that was all that Levi needed. She looked nice indeed ... very nice. But then, a thought crossed his mind.</p><p>
  <em>"If she goes out like that, other men will stare ... I can't let those perverts have their way with her."</em>
</p><p>"They are a bit too tight. You are showing too much, it's indecent." Levi said as he places his arms across his chest.</p><p>"But, she's not showing any skin," Petra added. She strongly thinks that Maria looks really nice. "Besides, it won't hurt her too show a few of her assets from time to time ... Maybe you can even find a boyfriend like that."</p><p>Petra quickly eyed Levi who suddenly remembered the night of their date. The woman had convinced him to be part of her plan to find a boyfriend for Maria.</p><p>
  <em>"Yeah, like that's gonna happen."</em>
</p><p>"No, she can't go out like that. It's dangerous besides I heard it's gonna get cold later on and-"</p><p>"Cold in the summer?" Maria interrupted Levi who let out an angry growl. He then was fast to take off his brown Survey Corps jacket and throw it at her. She catches it immediately and stared at it in amusement.</p><p>"If you are going out, you better wear that. It's going to cover you better ... Do you understand?"</p><p>The brunette was going to protest, after all, it was really hot outside and wearing a jacket won't relieve the heat. But then, as she took notice of Levi's face, she noticed that he was serious. He wanted her to wear that jacket as if it was a matter of life or death.</p><p>He was even scary.</p><p>" ... Fine."</p><p>"Good," he said. Unintentionally, Levi placed a hand on Maria's head, petting her hair.</p><p><em>"Fuck." </em>Levi thought for a moment as the act surprised both of them. They stared at each other's eyes for a second, Maria blushed at the thought that they will have a repeat of yesterday's act. Unfortunately, they were interrupted.</p><p>"You two do act like a married couple!" Petra said, letting out a few giggles.</p><p>But once again, they denied the facts at the same time.</p><p>"We do not!</p><p>"We do not!"</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>The night of the event was here. And Levi wanted nothing more but to stay home, nonetheless, he already had changed into his black suit and groomed his hair. With one last look in his room's mirror, Levi sighed in disappointment. A part of him was never satisfied with his looks. But there was nothing much he can do, and according to Maria, he looks nice.</p><p>He heard a few knocks coming from his door. He sat at his desk and immediately puts the mirror away before answering.</p><p>"Come in,"</p><p>"Hey, am I interrupting?" Maria slowly opens the door as she steps inside his room, closing the door behind her.</p><p>"No, it's alright," Levi said and he notices that Maria was holding a small box in her hands. She didn't change clothes, though she should be ready by now.</p><p>"Aren't you going to change?"</p><p>"No, I'll be leaving soon and I'll be getting ready at the ballroom along with the other house attendants."</p><p>Levi knew that she was hiding something, she was looking directly at the small box she was holding with a small blush on her face.</p><p>As if she felt his eyes on her and the pressure, the house attendant was fast to speak.</p><p>"I felt bad for breaking your teacup ... So, the day I broke it, I went to town and looked for something to make up for it," the brunette extended her hand towards Levi, implying for him to take the carton box. She was standing and Levi gave her a quick look as he sat on the desk's chair. "I hope it is ok."</p><p>Levi grabbed the box, a bit amused by what it could contain. He opens it and it reveals a small white porcelain teacup. It was brand new, never used before and it shone nicely against the candle's light. He delicately takes it out of the box, not grabbing it by the handle.</p><p>"I've seen that you never grab teacups by the handle," Maria said. "So, it's kinda useless for you ... So I decided to engrave something on it."</p><p>At her words, Levi's attention was directed to the inside of the handle. Small words were engraved on it with golden letters.</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>To Levi, enjoy every day as if it was your one last time.</em>
  </b>
</p><p>While Levi stood quiet, Maria was panicking at the thought that Levi may not like her gift. Should she just walk out and pretend this didn't happen? It felt like an eternity in which Levi only stared at the white teacup.</p><p>"How did you buy this?"</p><p>Finally, Levi spoke up and although they weren't the kind of words Maria wanted to hear, it was better than nothing.</p><p>"Do you really have to know?" Maria asked, knowing that Levi meant how did she get the money to buy an expensive teacup, an engraved one nonetheless.</p><p>"Yes," he said still not taking his eyes away from the teacup, especially the engraving.</p><p>"... I sold my most expensive dress." Maria was a bit shy, thinking that Levi may disapprove of her action.</p><p>He didn't know what it was. He didn't have a name for this newfound feeling. It was warm, delicate, sweet, like a cup of black tea in the morning. Like the sweet giggles of Maria, like her lavender smell, like the way she smiles at him. This feeling was so many things, it was scary because he had never felt like this before. But it was nice and addicting even, to the point of wanting for this moment to be eternal.</p><p>Levi delicately places the teacup on his desk, trying to be as gentle as possible. Still not speaking, he stood up from his chair and went towards his closet.</p><p>Maria watched every moment as he opens the closet and from it, he takes out a brown paper bag. He does just as she did, he walks towards her. Extending his arm as to imply for her to accept the paper bag.</p><p>She didn't know what was happening but still did as the Captain wanted her to do so. Kindly, she opens the paper bag and at the bottom of it, she saw something white. With one hand she takes out the white fabric and places the paper bag on Levi's desk.</p><p>It was a white dress with a pink corset, made out of silk. The sewing was done almost to perfection and the decoration at the edges of the dress looked almost unreal.</p><p>"You ... bought this for me?"</p><p>Levi felt his heart skip a beat the moment she looks at him. Her face was bright, her eyes filled with hope and another feeling he couldn't quite describe. But he knew that she was touched by his actions. How he liked it, her face when it was so gentle. If this is what it took for her to be happy, then he doesn't care giving up tea money just to buy her dresses.</p><p>"You told me you only had three dresses ... So, I just thought ... That you might like it," Levi said, still not getting enough of her face.</p><p>"This is so beautiful ... But, this is expensive fabric ... How did you even get this?"</p><p>"It doesn't matter, I am glad it is of your liking."</p><p>"Oh! But did you like the teacup I gave you?" Maria said as she looks over at the small teacup. Compare to the dress Levi gave her, the cup just seems like a small gift.</p><p>Words couldn't describe how much he likes the teacup. Now that he thinks about it, this must be the nicest thing someone had given him. It was a simple porcelain teacup, the design was simple compared to others. But what made it special was the engraving. The words that he will see every day when he takes a sip of his tea. He didn't even want to use it, because he was scared that it will break. In his life, he has had many unfortunate events, where everything he cares for is taken away. But this teacup ... This was something he was planning to never let go. He was never going to let it break, he wasn't going to separate from it, he was never going to let anything bad happen to Maria-</p><p>He stopped thinking the moment he realized her name came across his mind.</p><p>Maybe it wasn't just the teacup who he was found of ... It was probably the person who had given it to him.</p><p>"I think I will enjoy drinking from this cup."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Already one hour into the sponsor's event and Levi had enough.</p><p>The ballroom was filled with the things he hated the most. Bright candles lights, loud live music, alcohol, a lot of people and must of them rich. Superficiality must be this event's theme.</p><p>There was chattering all over the place, Levi and his squad had arrived at the same time but due to circumstances, destiny had made separate. Petra was talking to some other girls, Oluo and Gunther were getting some food while Eld ... Well, he seemed to be looking for someone. Now Levi was alone and with no one to talk to. Not like he minded too much, he was used to be alone. What he didn't like were the stares ... Can't people mind their own business?</p><p>"Yo! Levi!"</p><p>Ah, here we go.</p><p>It was Hange who looked more lively than ever if that was even possible. She was wearing a long light blue dress, very elegant and it looked nice for someone of her height. Her hair was groomed in a nice ponytail and to Levi's surprise, she wasn't wearing glasses.</p><p>"Hey shitty glasses, can you even see?" he asked as she approached him.</p><p>"To be honest your face looks a bit blurry, but I can see fine from afar!" Hange squeezed her eyes a little just to see Levi's angry face better. "Anyways, where is your date?"</p><p>"I didn't bring one ... Where is your date?" Levi asked.</p><p>"He should be arriving pretty soon with the rest of the squad, Moblit can take a lot of time getting ready."</p><p>A sudden thought crossed Levi's head. Everyone in the Survey Corps was invited therefore if <em>he</em> was in Hange Squad, then that must mean-</p><p>"What about Flaherty? Is he coming too?"</p><p>"Nicholas? Yes, he should be coming, he said he didn't want to miss the performance of the house attendants." Hange looks at Levi with a surprised face, it was strange for him to take interest in someone he barely knows. "But why do you ask?"</p><p>"Nothing in particular."</p><p>But there was something in particular. He was worried now about the possibility of Maria and Nicholas meeting again. What if he sees her performance? What would happen if she discovers that she still feels the same about him? Now what?</p><p>"The saloon girls are here!"</p><p>Great, here come the problems.</p><p>"Yo, Levi! Let's go see our house attendants dance!" Hange grabbed Levi by the arm, almost forcing him to come in front of the stage. The first line, just what he needed. And it wasn't like Levi wasn't interested, it was more at the fact that he was going to watch other men drool over Maria that made him puke a little.</p><p>They were around 20 to 25 girls. Levi really didn't bother to count all of them. He looks at their faces as they placed themselves in lines. Wearing dresses of the colorful spectrum, trying to get as much attention as they could. Some had their hair up other down and there was no doubt that they will be showing their legs since they were wearing fishnets on their long legs.</p><p>Finally, Levi found the person he was looking for. Long brown hair, caramel eyes, around 5'6. She looked different, in a pleasant way. This was probably the first time he had seen her with makeup, a bright red lipstick, blue eyeshadow, and pink blush. Half of her hair laid in gracefully in soft curls while the other was up in a bun, a rose decorating it. She had moved her bangs to the side, making it easier to appreciate her face. Maria was wearing an all-pink dress with a black corset that looks hard to breathe in. Her chest was pushed up but it wasn't as exaggerated as he thought it would be. The skirt at least looked to be lightweight but of course, it was made to be easy to be picked up.</p><p>In order words, he was left breathless. She was like a completely different person and he dares admits that he wouldn't mind seeing this part of her more often.</p><p>"Yo! Lisa! Give your best!" Hange said out loud as she waved at her house attendant. "Come on Levi! Cheer for your house attendant!"</p><p>"Hange, you are embarrassing me."</p><p>Then the music starts to play.</p><p>Levi was never one to appreciate saloon girls, much less tavern dancers. He thought that everything was just to satisfy the males' need of seeing attractive girls. And in part, it was true. But he could also see why tavern dancers were respected to a certain extent by the upper classes. Although they could never get decent jobs after becoming dancers, a man's needs are always put first. It's tragic but due to this, tavern dancers are given special treatment at least by the male population.</p><p>Also, he had forgotten that they are performers too. The acting, their facial expressions, the way they move, everything was a performance. A form of art even. Everything with the purpose to entertain.</p><p>And wow, was Levi entertained.</p><p>Not just by everyone but his house attendant was ... completely captivating. She was different, a sexy smile decorated her face, she touches her body with her hands as she threw inviting eyes. Every time she would pick up her dress, Levi could feel something awake inside of him. She was just so sensual ... And although  he wasn't used to this side of her, he didn't mind it at all ... He didn't mind no one bit.</p><p>"Isn't that Maria from the Golden Tavern? The one that closed down because the owner was found to be conspiring against the king?"</p><p>"Yes, that's her! She is still as beautiful as ever, I guess that's what 10 years of living with prostitutes does with you."</p><p>The Captain tried to keep his cool as he kept listening to the men next to him.</p><p>"Yeah, I wanted to buy her for her first time  but she refused ... Later on, I learned that she had been with someone else ... A military man from the Garrisons."</p><p>"Well, personally, I don't mind if she is a virgin or not ... The price goes lower anyway."</p><p><em>"Control yourself, Levi, don't bother with these rats," </em>Levi looked over to his shoulder trying to see if he could fix everything by just looking at them with a deadly glare. However, they were so engrossed in their conversation that they couldn't feel his wrath radiating off him.</p><p>"Well, if she is as good in bed just as good as she dances then I wouldn't mind paying double." </p><p>"To be honest with you, now I would give anything to have her legs on my shoulders."</p><p>Alright, they were looking for it.</p><p>Just as he was about to throw a punch, Hange stopped him by putting a hand on his shoulder.</p><p>Hange knew the man very well, and she recognized that look. He wanted to go and kick the hell out of the men next to him. She didn't know why but she couldn't afford a scene. After all, it will look very bad if a Captain from the Survey Corps starts a fight.</p><p>"Stay calm, what did they do? Spill a drink on you?"</p><p>Hange tried her best to control Levi but it seemed like he wasn't backing away. She wasn't scared but she could see why everyone else was scared of Levi ... His eyes were just something to behold.</p><p>At the moment, Levi was angry and he knew that he wasn't thinking clearly. Nonetheless, that didn't stop him from feeling infuriated. As he takes a closer look at everyone, he notices that all the men had their eyes on his Maria. He was either hallucinating or not but that didn't stop him from wanting to take every man out of the ballroom.</p><p>He looks at Hange who had a concerned look on her face, he slowly removes her hand from his shoulder and without caring much he let out an angry growl.</p><p>"Just leave me the fuck alone."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>After the performance was done, the house attendants had the homework of accompanying the men for the night. It was a simple duty for the ex-tavern dancers and it could even be pleasant to a certain extent.</p><p>Before getting back to work, Maria wanted to see a little bit of the ballroom. A lot of men stared at her but she didn't mind too much, after all, she knew that the clothes she was wearing weren't the most decent ones. It was nice to see a room being so well illuminated with light candles, the live music was exquisite and from what she could see, there was plenty of food and alcohol for the night.</p><p>"Maria!"</p><p>Maria heard Petra's voice from afar and as she looks around she notices the red hair coming towards her as she waves her hand from side to side.</p><p>She greeted the beautiful woman with a smile, Petra was wearing a nice white and green dress. Similar to the one she wore on the date with Levi.</p><p>"I loved your performance! You looked so beautiful!" Petra said as she finally got close to Maria.</p><p>"Thank you! I am happy you liked it," Maria said as she held Petra's hands in appreciation. "I am a bit tired, however ... It's being a while since I wore a corset this tight-"</p><p>"Petra!"</p><p>An unfamiliar voice interrupted the duo. It was a beautiful tall woman with long blond hair and blue eyes. Her red dress accentuated her figure and the lower cut made on of her legs stand out. Maria could even say that she had prettier legs than some of the tavern dancers she knew. She was a beautiful woman and Maria couldn't help but be intimidated by her.</p><p>"Oh Elise, how are you-"</p><p>"Have you seen Levi?" the blond one asks, she stood up with a hand on her waist, she was clearly out of patience.</p><p>"You mean Captain Levi?" Petra asked, a bit of annoyance in her voice.</p><p>"He may be your Captain but to me, he is something else," Elise smiled teasingly at Petra, enjoying making her angry. "Anyways, do you know where he is or not?"</p><p>"No, and even if I knew, I wouldn't tell you," Petra stood on her tiptoes, trying to be as tall as the strong blond woman.</p><p>"Well, no need ... I will find him eventually or he will come to me."<br/>     The blond one turns around with force, intentionally making her hair smack against Petra's face.</p><p>Maria watches the beautiful woman walk away, all men staring at her beauty. Not like she blames them.</p><p>"Who was that?" Maria asked, curious about the woman she just 'met.'</p><p>"That was Elise Dietrich, squad leader of the 23 unit and a pretentious bitch."</p><p>This must the first time Maria heard Petra curse in such a manner, she must dislike the woman a lot.</p><p>"You didn't hear this from me but ... Captain Levi and Elise used to be ... friends with benefits ... or something like that."</p><p>"What?" Maria's voice came out almost too loud for her liking. She covered her face in embarrassment as she notices that some people were looking at her.</p><p>"They never admitted it, but it was pretty obvious to everyone else ... Captain Levi likes to be secretive but her? She will tell everyone ... I guess she was proud to have humanity's strongest soldier all for herself," Petra rolled her eyes, anger was evident in her face. "I guess that is why Levi broke off whatever relationship they had ... but now she won't leave him alone! She is always after him in training ... Ugh, I hate her!"</p><p>Maria had not much to say. She knew that she never took the time to get to know more about Levi and it wasn't because she didn't want to ... It was because it seemed like Levi didn't want to open up with her. There were small moments in which he will open up to her, like the things he wanted to do in the future. But he never shared his past. She didn't want to force him to speak up about something he wasn't comfortable speaking about.</p><p>He will talk to her whenever he is ready.</p><p>But if that never happens?</p><p>Her heart ached a little at the thought, the thought of never getting close to Levi hurts her for some reason. A reason she didn't want to admit just yet.</p><p>And he had to admit that a part of her was jealous too ... that someone else had already taken a place in Levi's heart.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Levi was doing something he rarely does. And that's drinking alcohol. He just needed to calm himself for a little ... Well, a lot.</p><p>Sitting on the bar section of the ballroom, it was pretty quiet. It surprised him because he thought it will be full of people trying to get drunk. That was probably thanks to the house attendants who were doing their jobs of entertaining the men. And of course that the rich men preferred to drink wine than the cheap beer that they were offering.</p><p>He had a pretty nice view of the entire ballroom, of all the guests, royals, rich men, house attendants, and Survey Corps members. Between all the people in the ballroom, he only cared about the brunette woman, giggling and smiling at other men that weren't him. Maria had her arms intertwined with a man a bit taller than her. His suit was white which was pretty impressive, he showed his status by his clothes. His brown hair was well-groomed and a red rose was placed in his suit's pocket.</p><p>She was just so close to him, her chest touches his arm and Levi could tell that he was taking quick glances whenever he had the chance. His right hand placed on her waist.</p><p>Levi finished taking his last sip of beer as he took a sit on the bar counter's chair.</p><p>He gave it some thought and he still can't figure out why he was angry. Well, actually he knew but there was no way he was going to admit that.</p><p>Suddenly, he notices Maria approaching him. Walking towards him slowly and Levi looks to the other side as to pretend that he didn't care or he just didn't see her.</p><p>"Hey grumpy man, are you having fun?"</p><p>He couldn't pretend he didn't see her, after all, she was standing in front of him. Levi rolls his eyes as he notices that Maria had now taken a seat next to him.</p><p>"Do you want anything to drink?" Maria tried again as she knew that Levi seemed to be angry for some reason. She hated it when he acted like this out of nowhere.</p><p>"No."</p><p>Alright, maybe he just needed to be alone for some time. Maria asked the bartender for some water, which of course it was a strange request. Nonetheless, tavern dancers had a 'code' of not drinking alcohol while being with clients. There were two reasons for that, the first one being that if she gets too drunk she might vomit. Men don't like dirty women. Men don't like women that drink too much because it seems as improper... Of course, unless they wanted to take them to bed without their consent.</p><p>After she got a glass of water from the bartender, she didn't doubt drinking all of it in one gulp.</p><p>Levi watched her every move, he tried hard not to but still, his inner instincts wouldn't let him look away. She was drinking like there was no tomorrow, he didn't blame her. Dancing and not having a proper rest can lead to dehydration. Small gulping sounds were created as the water went down her throat, her neck moved a little as she lets in the liquid into her body. And a small drop of water rolled down on her neck, making its way slowly to her collarbones.</p><p>
  <em>"Ah, fuck me."</em>
</p><p>Now he was even angrier, utterly into madness. And the worst thing was that he didn't even know why. He was being childish, he knew but he couldn't help it. </p><p>"Stop doing that," Levi said as he watched Maria finish her glass of water. This must be one of the few times he would be acting on anger alone ... Alright, that was a lie.</p><p>"What?" Maria said a bit startled. She placed the empty glass on the bar counter and thanked the bartender, she got a sexy smile from the gentleman and in exchange, she just smiled back. Levi, watching the whole thing felt like just storming off at the moment.</p><p>"Stop trying to seduce me," Levi said as he got her attention.</p><p>"... I was just drinking water." Maria said. "How is that supposed to be seductive?"</p><p>At the moment, he really didn't have the time to explain. Well, it wasn't that it was more that he didn't want to explain it. He didn't want to talk about how the thought process of men ... Especially when it comes to <em>that</em>. He didn't want to come off as a pervert and scare her.</p><p>"I am not one of your costumers. Don't treat me like that," Levi crossed his arms in front of his chest, not looking at the girl any longer. Instead, he focuses his eyes on the people on the ballroom.</p><p>"I've had never thought of seducing you and I will never do that."</p><p>That wasn't the answer he was looking for. A small part of him ... Well, no a big part of him wanted her to feel the same way he does. For her to feel a type of attraction towards him, for her to desire him, need him even. He just wanted her to know ... Just how much of an impact she has on him. What he was feeling was even becoming hatred. He just hated it ... That someone had complete control over him.</p><p>"And why don't you? Is it because I am not rich? Because I am a simple military man?" Levi remembered many things, things that happened between them in which he thought his feelings of desire where reciprocated. The teasing, the small smiles, the way she would caress his hair. The way he would make her blush, the way she would talk to him, the small flirting. Maybe everything was in his head, maybe he was going crazy ... But at the moment he didn't care.</p><p>"You may have not notice it but you have tried to seduce me. You like it don't you? To have all men all over you and at your feet?"</p><p>And he was exasperated, his blood was boiling and that was because he couldn't stand the thought. Of her treating him the same way she does with other men. He wanted to be special to her, he wanted her to only have a desire for him. And even if his heart wasn't ready to admit it, it pained him at the thought that she was using him.</p><p>"You know Levi, I came here because I thought I could be comfortable with you ... But right now, being with rich fat men is way better than to be with you!"</p><p>Maria stood up from her seat, he had never seen her act that way. To an extent, he knew that he deserved it. He didn't know what pained him the most, the thought of Maria just playing with him. Or Maria being angry at him for his stupidity.</p><p>This was their first argument and Levi would naturally feel guilty and even think about apologizing right away.</p><p>But the thought quickly went away as he saw her approach a group of men with a beautiful smile already placed on her face.</p><p>Just as she left, another figure approached him. It seemed like no matter what he does tonight, people just won't leave him alone. He knew this person very well as he was known for his determination.</p><p>"Would you allow me to give you some advice?"</p><p>It was Erwin and of course, he was as straightforward as always. Levi knew that Erwin was a very perceptive man, he must have seen everything from afar. Although he will be angry at him for meddling with his personal issues. Someway or another, he was always on top of things, no matter how small they were.</p><p>"You are going to say it anyway," Levi said as he rolled his eyes.</p><p>"Look at her right now ... Do you notice her fake smile? Her fake giggles and straight posture? Is she like that with you?"</p><p>Levi looks for the brunette again and he found her with the same man she was with before. She covers her mouth as she lets out small giggles, something he had never seen her do before. Maria was quiet most of the time and only talks when the man asks for her opinion. She looked rigid as to make her chest stand out and satisfy her costumer and somehow she just looks uncomfortable.</p><p>"No ... She isn't."</p><p>Erwin lets out a sigh. Somethings in life were simple, like fighting for humanity. Dealing with stubborn soldiers made fighting titans look easy. Levi wasn't stupid and Erwin knew that he might know already what is going on in his mind. But he had too much pride to accept it.</p><p>"She is not seducing you, she is comfortable with you. She can be herself ... The reason why you think she is seducing you is because you find her personality charming," Erwin tried to be clear as possible, he wasn't the best at this kind of thing either. But having a loving father who talked about matters of the heart did help once in a while. "You are falling in love with her. You just can't differentiate between the feelings of lust and love."</p><p>"I am not falling in love with Maria."</p><p>"I never said Maria."</p><p>These were the types of moments in which Levi really hated Erwin. One, because he was too smart and second because he made him see things he didn't want to see.</p><p>"I hope you man up and tell her soon ..." Erwin looks at Levi who only looks away, he was listening and although he would appreciate his full attention, it didn't matter at the moment.</p><p>"If not someone else is gonna take the place you have in her heart ... and that will be something you will regret."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Maria was taking a break from everything that was happening. She was outside the ballroom, on the garden to be exact. She was just walking around it, still hearing the music from the inside. It was a full moon and the stars decorated the sky, the light radiating from it shone on the roses making them look beautiful. It was rare to see such pretty roses and she even thought of cutting some to bring to the Survey Corps's house.</p><p>She couldn't stop thinking about him. Maria felt guilty because a part of her knew that the words Levi said were true. A part of her wanted him, she found him attractive, desirable, and even when she didn't want to admit ... She was starting to fall in love with him. And maybe her actions, even if they were unintended, did attempt to seduce him.</p><p>Guilt was something she was used to but not this length. She was seeing Nicholas. Although he understood that the feelings she had for him were no longer there, she still felt guilty. Mostly because Nicholas had said that he still loves her. On her side, Maria cares deeply for him and she can't deny the fact that her heart still races when she is with him.</p><p>She felt like she was betraying him and that was something she couldn't live with.</p><p>But Levi ... He was utterly charming, from his soft deep voice to the way he cares for her even though he doesn't admit it. And she was starting to fall in love with that, with his small actions, with his mannerisms, with the way he drinks tea, the way he is a perfectionist and loves to clean. </p><p>Just everything about him ... She couldn't get enough.</p><p>And she knew it was wrong ... For her to have such feelings towards him.</p><p>"Are you busy?"</p><p>His voice interrupted her small thinking process and for a moment Maria cursed under her breath. She wasn't expecting on confronting him this soon.</p><p>"Not really ... I was just looking at the roses," Maria still didn't turn around. She was looking at the bushes of roses, still too embarrassed to look at him. She heard him take a few steps next to her and although he was a bit shorter than her, she still felt intimidated.</p><p>"I am sorry, I didn't mean to offend you."</p><p>At his words, Maria looks at him. She saw his face thanks to the moonlight and the few candles placed around the garden. She could tell that he was sincere and even if he wasn't she wanted to believe otherwise.</p><p>"I am sorry too ... This is embarrassing but ... I must admit that ... You may be right," Maria gulped her own saliva, trying to take a moment to gather the courage she needs. "I am attracted to you ... I probably did something that made you think that I am seducing you. But believe me when I say that I am not seducing you on purpose! I don't want you to think that I-"</p><p>It happened so fast Maria didn't have time to react. Levi had grabbed her by the arm and pulls her towards him, making her bend a little.</p><p>Levi was kissing her.</p><p>His lips felt cold, against hers. They were soft and firm at the same time and although it wasn't passionate, it was more important the meaning behind it. His eyes were open as he enjoyed seeing her dumbfounded face, he didn't move his mouth. It was just lips against lips with no malicious intentions.</p><p>It lasted for a few seconds, and when they separated, Levi had the same look on his face that he always has. In that instant, Maria knew what Levi wanted, he came looking for her for this moment right here. She touches her lips, still not believing what happened.</p><p>"I'll make it clear ... I don't love you," Levi said. He knew that his words were indelicate but if he wanted to be successful, he needed to be as clear as possible. " I don't have the luxury of love, nor romance ... For me ... It's hard to love someone. I have lost so many people ... They say they won't leave but they all do at some point. Its better if we keep those feelings apart from us."</p><p>Maria stood quiet, listening to every word Levi had to say. She couldn't think clearly but all she knew was that a part of her heart broke when Levi said he didn't have romantic feelings for her. Not like she expected any either way.</p><p>"But still, I am a man ... I have my needs, I have desires, ambitions and my wants ..." Levi stood closer to her, trying to see every single moment of her facial expressions. "And you are someone that I want ... I wanted to keep away from those feelings but the more I got to know you, the more I wanted you, and eventually, I knew ... That I just can't keep my desires to myself."</p><p>Suddenly, the Captain grabs Maria by her hands as he misses her touch on his skin.</p><p>"And it makes me angry too, whenever I see you with other men who only want to take you to their beds ... It makes me angry because they want what I want," Levi said. Maria feels her cheeks grow hotter as every second passes. His face had changed and she could tell that he was angry as he remembers her previous interactions with other males. "And that makes me want you more."</p><p>"I am a bastard because I want you to myself, I am possessive with the people I care about because I am always afraid ... that something or someone will take them away from me."</p><p>Maria felt her heart go faster, she had never seen this side of Levi. She knew that this part existed because after all, she couldn't deny the tension that was built around them since they first met.</p><p>"And to be completely honest, I care about you. Because I want you to feel the same way I feel about you ... I want you to desire me as well. If I didn't, I wouldn't care if you were playing with my feelings or not," Levi looks at her eyes. The brunette saw how beautiful they look under the moonlight. They were captivating, making her fall completely in love with them.</p><p>"But now, I don't care if you are playing with me or not ... I just know that I want you, that I'll follow you with no regrets ... and that you have me completely at your feet."</p><p>Time stopped for a second and Levi couldn't believe that he had just opened up like that to her. But he just couldn't hold it in any longer, he wanted her, and that was all there was to it.</p><p>He was waiting for an answer, one that took an eternity. But he didn't mind waiting as long as he got one.</p><p>"I want you too ..." Maria said, finally understanding everything that was happening. "But I am scared ... That if we do this ... I may end up falling in love with you."</p><p>"That is something I can't stop ... I won't force you to do anything you don't want to do ... We can stop whenever you want," Levi began to caress Maria's hands, loving how natural they felt on his. "I know this is selfish ... But, would you put your feelings aside for me? I have nothing to offer you but my care ... I am just a simple man, begging you for some of your affection, that's all I want. All that I need from you to satisfy this desire in me."</p><p>Maria knew this was a dangerous game. But she just couldn't say no, she just couldn't deny it. She wanted him, they wanted each other. And although she was already falling in love with him, she didn't care at the moment. She didn't care if her heart would be broken after this. Because right now, all she wanted from him was his affection, his touches, to know that he wanted her just as much as she wants him. It was selfish on her side too, she wasn't thinking about Petra nor Nicholas ... But just for this time, just for this moment ...</p><p>She wanted to be selfish.</p><p>"I accept ... but I would like two favors in exchange," Maria looks down at her hands as she noticed that Levi was still holding onto them. "I want this 'relationship' to be a secret. Since we are not a real couple, nor we have romantic feelings towards each other and this relationship is only based on the acts of pleasure ... I think it would be best if no one knows."</p><p>"Granted, I think it's for the best too ... and the second favor?"</p><p>This time, Maria looks away a bit embarrassed. Her request maybe too much to ask but she still wanted to give it a try.</p><p>" ... Before the event ends ... Would you dance with me?"</p><p>Levi wasn't wrong, Maria had made him completely hers. He was lost, like a child seeking his parents, like a vagabond seeking a home, like a sinner seeking forgiveness ... and she was everything he was seeking for.</p><p>"For you ... I'll do anything."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>A/N: Almost 15K words! Wow, anyways this was super fun to write. Especially the ending! Next chapter, things get steamy! More drama to come since I introduced a new character: Elise Dietrich. She has a long past with our beloved Captain Levi ... But just how far did they go?</p><p>Quick character chart for my two characters:</p><p>Name: Elise Dietrich (Dietrich means 'mighty ruler')</p><p>Characteristics: Beautiful, long blond hair, blue eyes, literally a doll. 5'8.</p><p>Personality: Determined, she never stops until she gets what she wants. Comes from a wealthy family and joined the Survey Corps because she  always thought she was destined for greatness as a savior of humanity. Loves cats and will even keep one in the Survey Corps house even when it's prohibited. Had a relationship with Levi, more details to be revealed later.</p><p>Name: Nicholas Flaherty (Flaherty means 'rightful ruler' or 'Descendant of the great.")</p><p>Characteristics: Ginger, dark blue eyes, tanned, strong, 6'3.</p><p>Personality: He used to live life without worries, only cared for his needs until he met Maria who changed him. She made him see life from a new perspective and that made him fall in love with her. He was falsely accused of treason and even after being put in prison for four years, he still loves Maria deeply. He only wants her happiness regardless if she loves him or not. He loves writing and even when Maria doesn't know how to read, he loves to write her love letters every night with the hope that one day she will read them.</p><p>Thank you guys so much for reading and I'll see you all next week!</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Bystander</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you so much for the people who gave kudos to the story and especially the people who comment! I love reading them and know your thoughts of the story. Anyways, this chapter is for you all! See you next week &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"So, his friends died ... What is the big deal, that happens all the time here."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Elise Dietrich wasn't one to care for the problems of her subordinates. Much less for the new member of the Survey Corps, who after his two friends die, he seemed to be having a teenage episode.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Don't be like that! He must feel so bad."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Crying and moping about it won't bring them back, that's all I am saying."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was late at night at the Survey Corps' old cafeteria where members who didn't belong to a squad would eat every evening.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The new recruits were fine with each other, most were friendly but a certain Levi. He will stay apart from everyone, eating by himself and never talked.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Elise found this especially annoying. Before, he would be extremely cocky, as if he knew he was the best. His face showed no worries and his posture, the way he dresses, everything about him annoyed her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But now, there he was, being extra grumpy and even sad because his friends died ... What a pain.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Hey, you!" Elise screamed from across the table, trying to get Levi's attention as he was eating his soup. "Is it true that you killed 30 titans in a minute?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He was completely quiet, he pretended not to hear her. There were many things already going on his head and he didn't want to deal with petty brats.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Well, if you did that we should start calling you humanity's strongest soldier, shouldn't we?" Elise teased again, getting satisfaction from having everyone's attention on her. "But it seems like humanity's strongest soldier wasn't even capable to save his friends."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>At that, the blond woman saw Levi stand up from his seat with the bowl of soup on his hand. She could barely see his facial expression since his black hair covered his face. Levi took small steps as he approached the blond girl, she wasn't scared at all. If he wanted to fight her, then she could defeat him and prove to everyone she was the best.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But in all contrary, Levi looked at her with cold eyes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And poured the soup on top of her head, the liquid falling from her head to her hair and then her clothes. Everyone watched in amusement with their mouths open and only waited for a reaction from the blond one.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What the fuck do you think you are doing?!" Elise stood from her seat as she looks down at Levi. Compared to her, Levi was small and she even wanted to let out a laugh. Did he really think he could take her on a fight?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Keep messing with me and I'll break your bones. I don't care if you are a woman, I'll give you the treatment I give everyone," Levi wasn't backing away, he had taken on bigger enemies.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Elise let out a small smile, she preferred this side of Levi. He may be a crybaby but at least he wasn't letting anyone step on him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I wouldn't want anything less from you."</em>
</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>She has been looking for him for hours. Already meeting and greeting men that are not the one she was looking for. This ballroom event was getting boring, she had come for two main reasons. The first one being, out of responsibility with her duty. The second one, because she had bought herself a red dress with the hope that it will awaken something inside of Levi ... again.</p><p>After checking the entire ballroom, there was a place she hasn't checked yet. The garden, after all, it was a quiet place and not a lot of people would be there. A perfect place for a gloomy man like him.</p><p>She went outside and a breeze of air ran through her blond hair. She felt relieved, it was getting pretty hot inside the event. Walking around the garden, she felt a sense of peace invade her body. It was calm and a beautiful night ... just like that day.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>
  <em>"Hopefully after this, you can learn to get along ... We can't afford to fight between us."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>With that, Hange left an angry Levi and Elise to clean and organize files for the night. With the hopes that they will learn to work as comrades.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It all started with a fight. After that, it was more fights, cursing at each other, bullying each other and it wouldn't stop. It wasn't until the outside the walls expedition that it came to the Commander's attention. They were assigned a mission together but their conflicts only caused them to fail. Due to that, the whole expedition was marked as a failure causing the anger of the commanders.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You know all of this is your fault," Elise said as she got a dirty drag to clean the table. "If you weren't a jerk, we wouldn't be in this situation."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"We wouldn't be in this situation if you had stopped lying to yourself," Levi said. He didn't mind cleaning, he was actually thinking of cleaning this place even before the punishment.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I've seen it ... The blushing, the way you get nervous when I am near you," Levi walked towards the table, next to where Elise was. "You have a thing for me."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Elise turns her head around, she was offended at the assumption but more embarrassed because it was true. It has been a constant month of fighting but she would be lying if she didn't say that there was tension between them.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But of course, she was going to deny it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You are crazy! As if I could have such feelings for someone like you!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Well too bad, because I do."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>His words took Elise by surprise and until now she noticed just how close Levi's face was to hers.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You are a beautiful woman and I have noticed that my desire for you increases whenever we fight," Levi said, his face moving closer to hers by the second. "So, why don't we break this tension once and for all?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Elise wasn't stupid, she knew what he wanted. And if she was completely honest, she wanted to as well. He was an attractive man, he had a good physique due to all the training and his mysterious face was something that captivated every girl. And she was no different.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maybe, this is what they needed. To end up all the fighting and the cursing, to break the tension that has been building up this entire month. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>And after this ... no more.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Right now?" she asks.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"The table works fine for me."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She kissed him, sloppy sounds were created as she began to take off his brown jacket. Levi places his hands around her waist and picks her up easily as he makes her seat on top of the table. Still not separating from each other's lips, Levi felt how Elise began to unbutton his white shirt.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It's been a while since he had been with a woman, last time it was with a prostitute he met on the underground. This felt different when it came to sex, each time it was a new experience.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>This was lust and desire that has been built up and finally is being released ... It was an addicting feeling that both of them couldn't get enough.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was supposed to be a one-night thing. But as different feelings began to grow within each other, they would have never thought that this was going to the first night of many to come.</em>
</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Dancing wasn't a thing that Levi was used to. And for a moment he wanted to go back on his word, but he knew he couldn't. Not after seeing her excited face, her eyes shining as the moonlight reflected on her face. Small wrinkles in her nose were created as a smile decorated her face.</p><p>"Alright, so put your hands on my waist and I'll put by hands on your shoulders," Maria said and Levi did as he was instructed.</p><p>It even felt wrong for someone like him to place his hands on someone so delicate. Although he has seen her almost completely naked, there was a part of him that wanted to see more. Unconsciously, he began to imagine it again. That small intimate moment they shared weeks ago. It seemed like a distant memory now, but it was still fresh on his mind. And for a moment, he felt like a bastard for thinking about that right now.</p><p>"Now, you are going to take a step back ... A step to the right ... A step to the front,"</p><p>Just as if he hypnotized, Levi followed every order, every sentence she made.</p><p>"See ... You are waltzing now!"</p><p>She really did have him under a spell. He had never thought of doing this before. Never had it crossed his mind to be dancing under the moonlight on a garden full of roses with a beautiful woman.</p><p>This could be the moment in which the girl would place her head on the boy's chest. Levi thought of this and cursed his genes. If only he could be a little bit taller, Maria could be in his chest right now. He was 5'3 and she was 5'6, she would have to bend a little for that to happen and of course, it would uncomfortable.</p><p>He was always straight forwards when it came to things like this but now? He became more speechless as the more he looks at her. Her soft smile, her eyes, her face, her lips ... Everything was so mesmerizing. And he wanted to see more ... All of it.</p><p>"Levi, are you alright?"</p><p>Her voice made him wake up from his trance, he hadn't realized that he was staring for too long.</p><p>"Yes, sorry ... I was just thinking," Levi let out a sigh as he mustered the courage he needed. "Things are going to change after tonight ... I hope that we have a long relationship ... but even if at some point we stop ..."</p><p>Levi holds her closer, trying his best to keep a good rhythm. Even when the live music came from the inside, they could still hear it from the outside. It wasn't loud, it was just the perfect volume and it was even soothing.</p><p>It was almost too perfect even, he still prefers the calming moments. When they lay on the grass and she caresses his hair ... But this wasn't bad either.</p><p>Not bad at all.</p><p>"I want things between us to keep on like this ... Just like this is fine too."</p><p>Her heart skips a beat as she feels his chest is pressed against hers. Their eyes connected, completely mesmerized by each other. Slowly, they stop dancing as they knew that they were going to enjoy more what will happen next.</p><p>Their faces began to get closer as they felt each other's breaths in their lips.</p><p>They didn't hesitate, their lips connected into a sweet kiss. It was small pecks at first, gradually it became more heated as timed passed. They explore each other's mouths as they felt intoxicated with each other's flavors.</p><p>As if Levi couldn't get any more of her, he grabs Maria's face trying to feel each centimeter of her lips. He knew that she was going to be addictive, but he didn't think it was going to be this intoxicating. As he kisses her more deeply, he couldn't stop thinking of her. Of how much he craved for her, her body, her mind, and soul to become one. It wasn't only that of carnal lust, but he wanted more of her. Him, a bastard, a monster ... He wanted her all to himself and more.</p><p>
  <em>"What a fucking greedy bastard I am ... Haven't you learned anything?"</em>
</p><p>But did he care at the moment? No, he didn't. Just him and Maria, just like this ... Just this moment.</p><p>"Am I interrupting something?"</p><p>Whoever it was, they could go fuck themselves because they ruined a perfect moment.</p><p>They quickly separated and Maria almost jumps in surprise when she notices who it is.</p><p>"Elise, nice to see you here," Levi took a few steps back from Maria, as to pretend that the moment before never happened. "Is there something I can help you with?"</p><p>"Actually, yes there is," Elise crossed her arms in front of her chest as she quickly eyes Maria. It was an uncomfortable look, meaning that she wanted the brunette to leave.</p><p>"I should leave you two alone," Maria said as she gave Levi one last look before starting to walk away. He wanted to stop her but according to their previous agreement, it would be better to keep everything on the low for now.</p><p>But Elise noticed everything, all the signs. The way Levi's eyes shone with disappointment after the brunette left. The way he follows her with his eyes just to make sure she would get safe inside, the way he was delicately holding her. The way he was kissing her ... Just everything.</p><p>It was everything that Elise wanted.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>How can her heartache so much even after knowing that to be romantically involved with Levi is impossible? Maybe it's the tiny hope that everyone has ... Because even in the impossible, everyone had hope that their wants will become true. She didn't know much about Elise nor about the kind of relationship she had with Levi. But even in the unknown, she knew that there was a history she could never compete with. Unknown feelings between each other, moments of passion that maybe have been filled with love.</p><p>And of course, she can't compete with that. Even when a competition wasn't needed, because Levi had been clear with her that he had no romantic feelings for her. He didn't love her, she couldn't even compete even if she wanted to. In the end, there was only one thing to do and that was to get rid of the growing feeling she had for the Captain and to enjoy each other's desires of affection.</p><p>And that was for the best.</p><p>Another part of her was scared too ... Of not being able to stop her feelings and having to break off the '<em>relationship'</em> they have. To end up after a man who does not have the same feelings ... To end up like Elise.</p><p>No, even worse than her. She was a tavern dancer, someone with a dark reputation. Elise had a good last name, came from a good family and is a squad leader, without mentioning that she is ridiculously attractive.</p><p>Why in the world did Levi even break up with her? What was going through his head? ... But, what if they didn't? What if they are still together and they just don't want anyone to know?</p><p>Just like them right now?</p><p>"Maria?"</p><p>His voice was soothing, even angelic. Maria had missed him deeply even when they saw each other just yesterday. Whenever she was with him, she felt complete like a part of her that was broken could be repaired with just seeing his face.</p><p>"I've been looking for you! I saw your performance," Nicholas was just about to exit the garden when he saw Maria coming inside the ballroom. "I didn't think I could fall more in love with you, but I did."</p><p>A small blush spread across her face. Although she should be used to his compliments, it still surprises her whenever he says things so lightly.</p><p>Now that they were inside the ballroom, the brunette was a bit hesitant to be seen with others. Nonetheless, everyone seemed to be engrossed in a lively environment to even notice them.</p><p>"Thank you, I am happy you enjoyed it ... Are you also enjoying the event?"</p><p>"I am now, I wanted to see you if I can take you dancing?"</p><p>The house attendant looks around, for some reason dancing with Nicholas didn't seem like a good idea. However, seeing his face full of hope, his eyes bright and smile ... She didn't want to disappoint him, just like she had been moments ago.</p><p>"I have to get back to work, but what if we meet again here for the last song before the event ends?"</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Levi couldn't expect much from tonight. He was having a great time which he didn't expect but then everything seemed to be going to hell after Elise showed up. If he was completely honest, he was angry at her at the moment for making Maria leave. He could see it in her, how Maria felt intimated by the beautiful woman, and although there was no much Levi could do, he still hated it.</p><p>"So, what do you want now?" Levi went back to his usual self, his mood had completely changed due that the brunette was no longer with him. It was strange, but she did help a lot to put him in a better mood.</p><p>"You and that saloon girl ... are you two fucking?"</p><p>Levi rolled his eyes in annoyance, he really hated when people will get into his business. He looks at the blond woman, giving her a cold stare. Still as beautiful as ever, her blue eyes, her red lips, her pink cheeks, her beautiful figure ... she was everything a man wanted. Levi still found her incredibly attractive and he can't deny the fact that there was still some tension between them.</p><p>"We are not and even if we were that would be none of your business," as he began to walk away, he heard steps coming from behind him. Of course, it was the blond woman again following him. "And stop following me."</p><p>"I just can't understand why would you want to be with her when you already have me!" Elise ran in front of him trying to get his attention. "Come on! Don't tell me you don't miss our nights together."</p><p>If Levi knew that she was going to be this complicated, he would have never asked her to be his ... pleasure partner. He has made it clear since the beginning that they weren't anything serious and that he couldn't possibly see her with romantic eyes. But as time passed and Elise began to have feelings for him, Levi tried to feel the same for her. Tragically it didn't work and it just ended badly.</p><p>"Elise we have already been over this ... I tried, believe me when I say I tried to love you but I just couldn't," he says as he stops walking. They have had many talks like this after they <em>'broke up' </em>but it seemed like no matter what, Elise wouldn't understand.</p><p>"Oh, but you still enjoyed being on my bed. Didn't you?" the blond felt hurt at his words but at the moment she focused on his feelings. "You stopped being with me weeks ago, is it because you got a new toy?"</p><p>"Don't call her that," Levi says. "And remember that I am still your Captain, show some respect."</p><p>"But we could be so much more! Please, I am not asking you for your love ... at least not now," the beautiful woman grabs Levi by his hands. She missed them so much on her body and how they used to caress her long hair when they laid together on the bed. "What I want is for us ... to be just like in the beginning. You and I on the bed, on the table, on the closet ..."</p><p>He remembers all of it, the passionate nights. The never-ending tension that grew bigger with each passing day. How they would stare at each other during training and how they made out whenever they had the chance.</p><p>Levi also remembers a special night, when Elise had confessed her love for him. He had tried to make love to her and not just sex ... It was sweet, gentle and he really tried his best to reciprocate the feelings</p><p>But it just didn't feel right to him.</p><p>"You know that if we do that it's only going to hurt you," Levi said that with a sincere heart. Although he had Maria's feelings in mind, Elise was also important to him. They had shared many things and he didn't want to hurt her. "Besides, what would you get from it? I already told you I can't have those feelings for you."</p><p>"I know ... But I just want a chance ... A chance to be with you again ... I only want to be wake up on your arms like we used to," she was being very seductive. Whispering on his ear as she still kept caressing his strong hands.</p><p>     Levi had to admit that the offer was tempting but he just couldn't accept it. Even when his innermost desires were telling him to just take her to bed already. She wanted to do it, so what was the problem? He was in no relationship with Maria either, they had no compromise, so why ... Why does it feel wrong to just accept some else in his life?</p><p>
  <em>"But I am scared ... That if we do this ... I may end up falling in love with you."</em>
</p><p>Did he forget about the fact that Maria had him completely at her feet? That her needs came before his? Had he forgotten that her feelings were important to him? He felt incredibly stupid, vulnerable even. Maybe she wasn't in love with him yet but if she ever does, he wouldn't want to hurt her feelings.</p><p>"I am sorry ... I just can't."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>After meeting a lot of men, getting different love confessions, and a few fake marriage proposals from men who wanted another wife, Maria knew that after tonight she just wanted to sleep. She had stopped being a tavern dancers a few weeks ago but she was already accustomed to the domestic life.</p><p>This would normally be nothing, it was 3 am and before she would stay up until 6 am and still have energy left. But after enjoying the nights of sleeping at a proper time and waking up at regular hours, Maria was out of practice. How long has it been now? A month? A very nice one indeed.</p><p>It seemed like the night was already about to end as the gentlemen began to exit the ballroom, some of them took other house attendants to enjoy the night with.</p><p>As Maria began walking across the ballroom to look for Nicholas, her eyes met green ones. It was Leah, one of her closest friends besides Lisa. She was more like an older sister to her and always looked for Leah for advice.</p><p>"Making men fall in love with you successfully?" Maria teased a bit, knowing already that Leah was by far the more experienced one. She even had fame between the royal men.</p><p>"Like always my dear," Leah looks around the room, it had seemed like she was looking for someone or something. "But I need to control my powers ... It seems like I made someone fall for my charms unintentionally."</p><p>Oh, so that's why he was looking. It wasn't like she hasn't noticed, a strong stare of blue eyes. It was pretty obvious even to Maria that the blue eyes were staring intensely at Leah.</p><p>"Who would have thought that the Commander's advisor had a thing for you?" Maria was surprised by the skills of her friend. Nonetheless, she didn't want her to be playing with the feelings of Erwin. "But don't give him hope if you are not interested."</p><p>"I swear it's not me! Ever since I became his house attendant ... It's weird," Leah said as they began to walk together around the ballroom, saying their goodbyes to the guests. "I thought I would be doing all the chores as it is supposed to be ... But it's not like that ... He helps me with everything! And I don't even have to ask him."</p><p>"Really? Maybe he is just nice?"</p><p>"Do you think a man just stares at a woman ... just because he is nice?" Leah punches Maria's elbow in a teasing manner. She notices a red hair approaching them, a man that she knew very well.</p><p>"And talking about men who stare, here comes your Romeo," Leah smiles at Nicholas as she leaves Maria for the night.</p><p>Holding a red rose on his hand, Nicholas approaches Maria slowly a bright smile on his face. The brunette couldn't help but feel embarrassed at his actions. His intentions were pure and Maria appreciated that.</p><p>"I was looking for you," Maria says as they got closer to each other. Suddenly, a certain melody began to play. One that was close in her heart.</p><p>"I paid the musicians to play our song," the handsome man began to caress Maria's hands as she accepted the red rose he had picked from the garden. "So, would you do me the honor of giving me this one last dance?"</p><p>Maria bowed in respect as she gave a smile to Nicholas accepting his request. Slowly, Nicholas places his hands in Maria's waist. They felt like they belonged there, his hands were made to hold her like this for eternity. With his actions, Maria placed her hands on his shoulders and she loved how she felt. Just like the first time they met.</p><p>People were starting to gather around them, joining the last dance before the event ends. Maria had to admit that she was feeling emotional, so many things have happened. Things that she may enjoy momentarily but then regret. She was scared of the future and excited at the same time. But Nicholas brought her comfort. Knowing that no matter what she does, he will stay with her. That whatever she chooses he won't change. And a part of her just wanted for everything to go back to how things were. When she was engaged to Nicholas when they were deeply in love.</p><p>They dance slowly as Nicholas leads the dance, moving Maria side to side in a circular manner. It was a beautiful moment, and Nicholas knew that there could never be another woman for him. Maria was everything to him, her voice, her smile, her eyes ... He was completely in love even with her flaws. With the dark circles that she couldn't hide even with makeup, her long hair that had become messy through the course of the night. Everything ... Every single thing about her, he was deeply in love with. He didn't want to change anything, and he will fight to the end just to see her happy forever ... Just like this, just like this moment.</p><p>"I know I've said this many times," Nicholas says as he brings Maria closer to him, whispering on her ear. "You mean the world to me."</p><p>Feeling her cheeks get hot, Maria couldn't do anything but smile sincerely. There was no better feeling than this, to feel loved, to know that there was a place where you are accepted. Nicholas and she have gone through a rocky path, but maybe this was just a challenge they had to face. To know if the love she had for him could be reborn.</p><p>And she was willing to face that challenge as long as he is with her.</p><p>Maria let all formalities aside as she places her head on Nicholas' chest, hearing his heartbeat increase little by little. It was a pleasant sound and it even mixed with the song's rhythm. This was probably going to become one of her favorite sounds. No, never-mind that. This was probably going to be her favorite moment. Nicholas' heartbeat, his warm, his strong embrace, his comfort ... this was a perfect moment. </p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Levi was just trying to get rid of Elise who wouldn't leave him alone. He was feeling annoyed and hoped that seeing Maria would calm him down even just a little. Still, he didn't want to scream at the blond woman behind him to stop following him.</p><p>He enters the ballroom, looking around just to try and get a small glimpse of the brunette ... Just anything would do, anything to calm him down.</p><p>But this is not what he wanted.</p><p>They looked almost too perfect. Dancing at a rhythm of the music, they were almost like the melody itself. It was a soft image, a pure one filled with love, something he could never hope for. Maria had her head placed on Nicholas' chest, her eyes closed. He had never seen her in such a manner, so peaceful and so ... her.</p><p>She was at a total comfort, one that he thought that would be exclusive to him.</p><p>He hated himself at the moment, more than anything and anyone. He hated himself for not being a little taller, enough for her to place her head on his chest. Levi wanted that, he wanted to feel her in his chest, to be close to her, to share his warmth with her.</p><p>Just like that ... Just like how Nicholas was having her.</p><p>And he felt that a part of him had been stolen. That was supposed to be him, he was supposed to be holding her, embracing her. To be dancing with her even when he had two left feet and knew nothing about dancing. How he hated himself, for letting her go and forgetting that Nicholas was a threat to their relationship.</p><p>And he wanted to interrupt them, to break them apart, to tell him to never touch her again.</p><p>But how could he?</p><p>How could he when she looks so happy? How could he take that away from her? He couldn't and not because he didn't want to ... but it was because he was putting her above him.</p><p>
  <em>"Not so selfish now are we?"</em>
</p><p>It was even comical, that moments ago he was telling Maria to put her feelings aside for him. But here he was, looking at them like a man who had jus being betrayed.</p><p>He shouldn't care about this, none of it. After all, they weren't romantically involved.</p><p>But then ... What was this feeling in his heart ... This feeling that was telling him to run away and shut himself in his room for days?</p><p>"Seems like she also has someone else," Elise approaches him. She gets as close as possible to him, whispering in his ear from behind. "Why would it be wrong of you to have someone else too?"</p><p>And she wasn't wrong and he wasn't thinking logically. There was a feeling of hate, anger, and betrayal ... Disappointment even. It took him everything to express himself the way he did to her a few hours ago. He told her, how much he hated when he sees her with other men. How much he despises it when they see her, touch her ... Didn't she understand any of it? Was she underestimating his feelings? Didn't she know just how much her actions impacted him?</p><p>He wanted her all to himself ... Wasn't he clear enough?</p><p>To Levi, it was clear that Maria was just playing with his feelings. That she didn't care at all about him nor about what he was feeling.</p><p>Not even their <em>'relationship'</em> at all.</p><p>So then, why should he care? Why should he be the only one feeling like this?</p><p>"Come on Levi ... Be with me,"</p><p>At her tempting offer, Levi turns around again. He looks at her, their faces close to each other. This was probably going to be another mistake ... But his mind was telling him that this was the only way to keep Maria out of his heart.</p><p>"Fine," Levi says. "Let's go somewhere private."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>The night had ended and Nicholas had left with his squad back to the Survey Corps houses. Maria meanwhile decided to stay a little longer, getting worried that she hasn't seen Levi. Servants were already cleaning the ballroom and there are only a few people left waiting for their carriages to come and pick them up.</p><p>"Excuse me," a voice interrupted Maria's search for the short man. Her face seemed familiar, but it would have been more recognizable if she was wearing her glasses. Maria has seen her talk to Nicholas through the course of the night and from what she could tell, he had great respect for her.</p><p>"My name is Hange Zoe, I am the squad leader of the squad Nicholas is part of."</p><p>Maria felt honored and she bowed slowly to show her respect to the woman. "I am Maria ... Just Maria ... I am the house attendant for the house of Levi's squad."</p><p>"Yes, Lisa and Nicholas are always talking about you! Maria this, Maria that ... They talk so much about you I wanted to meet you," Hange smiles. Maria remembers how Lisa had told her that she was the house attendant for Zoe's squad. It made sense that she and Nicholas would talk about her. Although to be completely honest, it was a bit embarrassing. "I saw you dance with Nicholas earlier and I figured it was you ... So, I just wanted to come by and say hi."</p><p>"Thank you! I am so honored to meet you," Maria says but it was evident to Hange that the brunette was distracted as if she was looking for someone. "Did you enjoy yourself tonight?"</p><p>"I did but sadly I can't say the same for my partner ... I am still waiting for him to finish vomiting outside," Hange let outs a sigh and even a small giggle. "I should check on him soon ... But tell me about you, did you get to dance with Captain Levi?"</p><p>Hange could be everything but stupid. She had seen in it Levi's eyes, the way he looked at her when she was performing in front of the crowd. The way he got angry at the men who were looking at Maria ... everything made sense now.</p><p>She knew that Nicholas was looking for Maria since the moment he got into the Survey Corps. Levi had taken an interest in Flaherty since day one, meaning that Levi knew about Nicholas and Maria's past relationship ... Why he was interested in that was another mystery but she already had her theories. </p><p>
  <em>"So, this is why Levi has been acting different lately ... Her blushing is not making things difficult at all either, it's easy to tell."</em>
</p><p>"Well, I didn't get to dance with him," it was a partial truth because Maria danced with Levi for only a few minutes before they were interrupted. Also that it was mostly her teaching him how to dance than actually dancing. "I am actually looking for the Captain ... Well, everyone is looking for him. We thought that we were going home together."</p><p>"Oh, something tells me that Levi won't be joining you all for the rest of the night."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>Hange didn't know if she should keep her knowledge a secret or not. But for now, she should get to know the brunette better.</p><p>"Why don't you come with me and help me with Moblit?" the scientist smiles as she grabs Maria's hand almost forcing her to come. "And we can talk more about Levi and you."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>It's incredible the amount of information you can get by just analyzing and be a bystander. Hange had it as one of her specialties, she had expertise on that field like nobody else. It was even her pride from time to time. </p><p>The first hints were a bit difficult to spot. When she introduced Nicholas the first time to Levi, she could tell that he didn't like him. Call it hate at first sight and even though the Captain doesn't' like anyone, it was still strange to see him dislike someone almost immediately.</p><p>The training was something similar to that. Although Levi had no power over the kind of training she gives her squad, from time to time he would suggest things.</p><p>
  <em>"Flaherty seems t be slacking, you should make him run more."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Flaherty is making mistakes with his OMD, you should punish him."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Flaherty won't last a minute outside the walls if he keeps like that ... You should make him train more."</em>
</p><p>At first, she thought of two possibilities. One that he was interested in the well being of the new recruit and second, that Levi was interested in the man. The second option however didn't seem logical. Especially because she knew that Levi had a long history with women and he was even having sex with someone at the Survey Corps. If he was interested in men, she should have known by now. Not only that, but it seemed right for Levi's personality to like women only ... They tended to be more clean than men after all.</p><p>So, that leads to another third and final option.</p><p>Levi hated his guts. Which was completely out of his characters. From what Hange had seen, Nicholas was a sweet guy. Handsome, tall, strong, and with a lot of qualities that could make any girl sigh in love. So, maybe it had to deal with a woman.</p><p>As time passed, and Hange became aware of Nicholas's search for a girl called 'Maria' it all began to connect.</p><p>
  <em>"Hey, Nicholas how did it go with Captain Levi? Did you get to ask about Maria?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes, he said he didn't know her."</em>
</p><p>After that Hange was left with no other clues, she didn't think Levi had a reason to lie.</p><p>But it wasn't all clear until tonight.</p><p>Two moments gave it away. One, his clear amazement at Maria's dancing, and his evident jealousy at the men looking at her.</p><p>And the second was Maria and Nicholas dancing. When she saw them at first she thought that it was a lovely sight. Two people that were separated by circumstances and were united again by faith.</p><p>But then she saw him from afar ... Levi's face. It only lasted for a few seconds, but his disappointment, his pain, his vulnerability. It was a moment that broke Hange's heart because she had never seen Levi like that. In the few fractions of that moment, he had shown so much emotion than ever before.</p><p>As realization hits him, new feelings arose within him. Hange could tell that he was angry, jealous and he was hungry for vengeance. She knew this because she had seen this side of him before.</p><p>She watched him from afar how Levi turned around to face the blond woman behind him. Her smile was all that Hange needed to know that Levi had accepted her proposal.</p><p>And it wasn't that she was spying on them. She was helping Moblit vomit behind the bushes of roses when she recognized the Captain's voice.</p><p>
  <em>"You stopped being with me weeks ago, is it because you got a new toy?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Don't call her that,"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I know ... But I just want a chance ... A chance to be with you again ... I only want to wake up on your arms like we used to."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I am sorry ... I just can't."</em>
</p><p>Hange had to admit that she was impressed, even proud to an extent about Levi. Of course, she knew about the past relationship Levi had with Elise. Mostly because he was the one to open up to her about it. And if she was completely honest, she was happy for him. She thought Levi was having a nice, healthy relationship.</p><p>But of course, he was secretive and the reason why they broke up was unknown to her.</p><p>
  <em>"We just didn't understand each other anymore."</em>
</p><p>That was all Levi said to her. She didn't say anything but at the moment she thought that his words were a stupid excuse to break up with someone. If you like them ... Don't you fight for them? To make things right?</p><p>Disagreements are normal, after all, they are two completely different persons. She even remembers having fights with Moblit because she <em>'would put herself in too much danger.</em>' But they would always talk things out ... and that is because they weren't even a couple.</p><p>Shouldn't things work the same way for romantic relationships?</p><p>Either or, she was starting to realize why Levi and Elise didn't work out at all. She would bother him constantly and stress him out most of the time.</p><p>But with Maria? Well, that was a different story. She had seen the changes. Levi just looked more relaxed in training, he seemed to be sleeping more, eating more, and just in a better mood overall. </p><p>
  <em>"My house attendant made me black tea today."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"My house attendant makes the house smell like lavender."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"My house attendant made white rice today."</em>
</p><p>Never revealing her name but always on his mind. These were the kind of answers Levi would give Hange every day when she ask him why he was in such a good mood. The bastard was falling in love but he didn't even know.</p><p>But once again, she really couldn't confirm it. Not until she had every detail.</p><p>Including the female involved in all of this.</p><p>"So, tell me more about yourself Maria," Hange, a sleeping Moblit, and the house attendant were on a carriage going back to the Survey Corps Houses. Levi's squad had all disperse, Petra had gone home earlier with another friend. Oluo and Gunther went with Erwin on his carriage and Eld was probably staying the night at the town with Elena.</p><p>But Captain Levi was nowhere to be seen, which worried the house attendant immensely.</p><p>"Well, there's not much to say ... I left home at fifteen and became a tavern dancer to help support my brother and myself," Maria looks outside the window. She felt a deja-vu as if someone else had already asked these questions before. "That's pretty much what I did for ten years, my boss was found to be conspiring against the king ... The Survey Corps came to recruit us... I and other saloon girls became house attendants ... and now I am here, going back to my roots."</p><p>Maria lets out a small giggle trying to build a more comfortable atmosphere between her and Hange.</p><p>"I appreciate the help you are giving the Survey Corps ... It must be hard for you to do this,"</p><p>"Not at all ... You know, after doing this for so many years, you really start seeing it as a normal job," Maria looks back to Hange. "It's not something I am proud of but when you are a woman, uneducated and lacking on visuals ... You don't really have much of an option."</p><p>"Was it really your only option?" Hange didn't mean to offend her decisions, she just wanted to know her type of character.</p><p>"I worked on the fields, picking up cotton at first. But it wasn't enough," Maria smiles as she remembers her clumsy past. "I also tried stealing but I was really clumsy ... I think I got beat up three times a day by food stand owners. And you see, it could have been enough money, just for me."</p><p>Hange watches her every moment, she didn't look angry nor sad. It was more of a nostalgic sentiment.</p><p>"But I had a nine-year-old brother to take care of ... We had no home, no enough food. We would go without food for weeks ... And I just couldn't watch him starve to death any longer," tears were threatening to come out of eyes. It was a long time ago but watching your brother die from starvation wasn't something she could forget easily. "Being a tavern dancer gave me and my brother plenty of food and a stable home ... It's not a job I am proud of but I am really grateful for it."</p><p>Yeah, alright. This was the kind of woman Levi would fall for. Not just Levi, just probably about any guy in the right sense of mind. Her actions were honorable and even if she was uneducated, and a <em>'whore'</em>, Maria was a lady in all of her entirety. She didn't know if it was because she learned how to be one while she lived with prostitutes or it was a natural thing to her.</p><p>"So then tell me ... Why are you at the Survey Corps working as a house attendant? Wouldn't you be making more money as a tavern dancer somewhere else?"</p><p>The carriage trembles a little as they were on a bumpy road. Hange looks outside the window, they were almost home which sucks. She wanted to join the journey a little longer, after all, it was only on rare occasions she could use the fancy carriage.</p><p>"You see, I am a pretty ordinary woman ... A tavern dancer who is probably never going to marry," Maria didn't say this to be pitiful but instead was just stating the facts. "I really have no motivations ... I am not destined to be great either ... I just want to help those who are capable of achieving greatness ... I hope that's good of an excuse to want to keep living."</p><p>"Helping others achieve the things you can't do? Kind of poetic don't you think? Also ... Very honorable," Hange smiles but still there was a bit of doubt. "But ... is there anything else you want?"</p><p>"Well, I kinda want a family of my own," Maria looks around the carriage, a bit nervous about the topic. "And well ... After watching my brother suffer from malnourishment and not having a home ... I kinda wanted to have an orphanage, with a farm and a school for kids who don't have a home."</p><p>Hange looks at the brunette in disbelief. She had big dreams but she was realistic as well. To do what she wanted to do, it will take land and a lot of money. She was a woman meaning she couldn't own land unless she was married or inherited it. She was an ex-tavern dancer, meaning that a wealthy man won't look twice at her for a marriage proposal. And even if she did get a marriage proposal from a wealthy man, what would her life be like? A life full of misery most likely, since the wealthy tend to have mistresses around to show off their status.</p><p>Either way ... It was an impossible dream. But who was her to judge?</p><p>"You don't believe in your dreams but you believe the Survey Corps will one day defeat the titans?" Hange lets out a small laugh. "Don't get me wrong, maybe one-day humanity will defeat the titans, once we make scientific discoveries and-"</p><p>"Of course I do! If I didn't, I wouldn't be here! You all are the first steps we need to take to defeat them! You all are necessary so one day we can defeat the titans!"</p><p>The house attendant could make people go speechless and that was an amazing thing to do but it seemed like she wasn't aware of that power.</p><p>"If one day, we make the titans disappear ... Then what would you do?" Hange asks again.</p><p>Maria gave it a thought and her mind went to Levi. She remembers that night they sleep together. They were talking about themselves and although Levi wasn't letting out too much information, she did remember a detail.</p><p>"I'll probably help Captain Levi open up his teashop, he most likely won't want me there but ..." the house attendant smiles at Hange and she could feel her sincerity in her voice.</p><p>"It would be nice to see him happy, wouldn't it?"</p><p>Hange didn't know if Levi knew that he was extremely lucky. Maria wasn't thinking about her future but Levi's. With a few words, Maria had told Hange everything she needed to know. That Levi's future and his happiness were Maria's as well. The house attendant would be happy as long as Levi was happy.</p><p>The purest kind of love there is.</p><p>And tavern dancer probably didn't realize it fully either. Maybe because she had never felt such strong feelings before.</p><p>It infuriated Hange too because while Maria had the purest of feelings for Levi, he was out there fucking another woman. They were probably at a hotel or something, still sucking the life out of each other, and the thought made Hange cringe a little in disgust. It wasn't fair to Maria, but she was in no position to tell her about what was happening with the Captain ... She just hopes that Levi opens up his eyes soon and doesn't let Maria go.</p><p>Nonetheless, Hange had made up her mind. She could almost picture them together already. Levi coming back home from working at his teashop saying <em>'I am back'</em> while Maria responds <em>'Welcome back, honey.'</em> Tiny little children with brown hair and black eyes running to hug their dad after not seeing him for the day.</p><p>It was the peaceful life that someone like Levi deserved even if he thought otherwise.</p><p>"Yes ... It would be nice indeed."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>It wasn't like he wasn't enjoying it, it was more like he was enjoying it too much and felt guilty about it.</p><p>How long has it been since he slept with a woman? A month? More? It certainly felt like longer and the fact that he had built up tension with Maria for the longest time also affected him greatly.They were at a hotel they knew too well, even the owner gave him a look. The one that said, <em>"You are here again?"</em></p><p>It didn't embarrass him, in all honesty, he couldn't care less. What bothered him was when people got in his business. But now inside the hotel room, where there were no restrictions, he couldn't think of anything but release the anger he felt.</p><p>Exasperated moans, heavy breaths, sweat, and the screeching sound of the old bed moving underneath them. Clothes on the floor, long forgotten.</p><p>"Levi," Elise whispers his name on his ear and the man had to admit that it felt pleasant to hear her.</p><p>He was being selfish at the moment, especially because he wasn't thinking about her satisfaction but his. But seemly, she was enjoying herself as well.</p><p>
  <em>"Would you take off my dress?"</em>
</p><p>He cursed mentally, and even a part of him wanted to scream at how vulnerable he was with her. Levi couldn't stop thinking about Maria, even he was having sex with another.</p><p>That night came to his mind like a shooting star. How he remembers ... His cold lips pressed against her soft neck, the way her skin was warm, how he made her shiver as he ran his fingers across her body. He remembers how much he craved kissing her lips that night, a temptation that didn't become true until tonight.</p><p>Now that he thinks about it, that most be the only time he had Maria laying on his chest. Although nothing happened that night, he had felt more relieved and relaxed than he has ever felt before.</p><p>Kissing her was truly a blessing and he even wonders why he didn't dare to do it before. Maybe if he had done it earlier, it would be Maria the one taking Elise's place right now. But he wouldn't allow that, this was too much of a dirty place for someone like her. He couldn't bring himself to even imagine bringing Maria to a nasty hotel like this. If he ever makes love to her, he wanted it to be in a nice place worth of her. Maybe his room, hers, and if they were out probably a nice hotel.</p><p>"Levi, go slower," for Elise this time was different. When they used to have sex before, Levi would focus on the enjoyment of both. Although she was having a nice time, she could tell that he was acting indifferently. Being together tonight wasn't an act of pleasure, its more so Levi could let out his frustrations. She wanted to enjoy the night as long as she could but it seems like humanity's strongest soldier had other plans.</p><p>Tragically her request wasn't heard as Levi was already lost in his thoughts.</p><p>It has only being a couple of hours but how he misses her. And he hated how much power Maria had over him. She made him hers on the month that they were together. What would happen after more months pass? After they spend more time together? After they share the same bed multiple times? A part of him was scared, terrified even that his heart might start to feel unwanted things towards his house attendant. Luxurious feelings like love weren't allowed, he couldn't get attached to anyone because he just knew that they will leave him. Replace him. Forget him.</p><p>Just like tonight.</p><p>This wasn't the moment to think about Nicholas Flaherty but God, how much he despises him. And the bad thing was that he didn't even do anything wrong. If there was anyone who had to be angry, it would be Nicholas at him. After all, Levi had stopped him from finding the love of his life when they first met. </p><p>
  <em>"What would she do when she finds out? Will she hate me? Will she stop talking to me? Would she-"</em>
</p><p>But it didn't matter now, nothing did. He was a selfish bastard. Levi knew he was. He wanted Maria all to himself, he didn't want love. So what is it then? Why is it that he wants Maria to love him and only him? Why does he desire so much for her to love him completely, unconditionally? He wanted her to be devoted to him ... but what about him? He can't give her the same thing he wants from her. He had proven that tonight ... he had left Maria alone with that bastard while he was here, fucking a woman because it's the only way he can release his anger.</p><p>
  <em>"I left her alone with him ... What if the left together .... to a place like this?"</em>
</p><p>His mind began to imagine the worst. Maria and Nicholas .... just like this. Hugging, kissing, fingers touching each other's skin. Maria's lavender smell mixing with his, her soft moans, her blushing face. And more things he had only dream of.</p><p>"Levi, I am almost there,"</p><p>Elise's voice resonated within him but in reality, he couldn't process the moment at hand. His thoughts were only filled with her and how much he wished .... how much he craved to be with her. And it didn't have to be sexual, he just wanted to be with Maria. Laying in bed, talking about each other's days. He wanted to see her. Her face, hold her hand, caress her hair.</p><p>And it pained him, it hurts him even to breath at the thought of her being like this with someone else.</p><p>
  <em>"Why does it have to be me the only one who feels like this?"</em>
</p><p>Seeing that Elise had finished, he was about to release himself as well. But he wasn't stupid either, he knew his limits. He takes himself out of her as his breaths become heavier. Placing his member in between her thighs, he moves front and back. Once again, he curses because he had forgotten that Elise was a skinny individual, her thigh gap was evident and although it's pretty to look at, it didn't work well when it comes to things like this. If he was with Maria, well this could be a different story. </p><p>
  <em>"Do you enjoy it? Seeing me like this?"</em>
</p><p>But he didn't care, tonight wasn't really about pleasure anymore. It was about trying to forget her, even if it was just for a small moment.</p><p>
  <em>"Can't you understand, how much I need you?"</em>
</p><p>But how was that possible? How can he forget Maria when she was always on his mind? He would see her face whenever he drinks tea, her smile whenever he sees a flower, her hair whenever the wind blows on his face.</p><p>
  <em>"Why him? Why can't it be me?"</em>
</p><p>He wants her, her mind, body, and soul ... And Levi can't believe that these feelings were true. That he could want someone so much to the point that he hates it.</p><p>
  <em>"Why did you have to dance with him? Why didn't you see me?"</em>
</p><p>But maybe it wasn't just that, maybe it was him. His mind that was telling him that everything was futile, that there was no point in having these feelings for someone who does not feel the same.</p><p>
  <em>"Don't do that face. Not when you are with him, don't look so happy. Be with me instead ... Can't you be happy with me?"</em>
</p><p>And the jealousy that he didn't want to admit. He had felt it before when he was younger and saw people on the underground having a better life than him. But never for a woman, never for a person. And it was different because this had to do with his insecure and vulnerable side. He knew he couldn't compete with the all too perfect Nicholas Flaherty. That damn bastard who took away the person he desires the most.</p><p>
  <em>"Why can't you love me?"</em>
</p><p>And in an instant, he was done. Heavy breathes were released as he looks down with disgust the abdomen of the woman underneath him. Normally, he would help her clean up but he had too many things on his head to think properly.</p><p>He thought this would help calm down his feelings and it did momentarily. But now that he was done, the feelings he tried to reprimand began to rise again.</p><p>"If we hurry up we can still catch a carriage at the ballroom," Levi stood up from the bed, looking at the floor as he searched for his pants.</p><p>"It's a bit late, don't you think it will be better to spend the night here? You paid for the room after all," Elise had the hope that they could sleep together as in actually just sleeping. She had accomplished the first step of her plan. The first step into making Levi fall in love with her. She was feeling confident and the night could be better if he decides to stay with her to have some bonding time.</p><p>"No, I think it's better if we go,"</p><p>That was a lie, Levi knew that it was late. Probably there were no more carriages left. Nonetheless, Levi had the hope that maybe he could still catch a glimpse of Maria. Just anything about her that would make his night better. He just wanted to see her ... Just really see her.</p><p>"Just spend a little bit more time with me, please-"</p><p>"No, I am leaving. If you want you can stay here for all I care,"</p><p>What was wrong with him? She expected something else. Levi was never a romantic, but he wasn't cold either after they have sex. Usually, he would lay in bed next to her for a couple of hours, not saying anything while she speaks through the night. But he was different now, he was cold, distant. Elise knew that after a while it would be different ... But nothing like this.</p><p>"Are you like this with that girl too?"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"That fucking whore you were with earlier,"</p><p>Levi wanted to tell her to not call Maria like that but he stopped himself from screaming at her. He began to think about her situation and it was understanding to a point. She most of noticed that he was thinking of someone else while they were having sex.</p><p>"That's none of your business, you knew what you were getting yourself into, we don't have to do this-"</p><p>"It's not about that! It's just that I don't understand you!" Elise covers her body with the blankets, she was in a vulnerable position at the moment but she didn't care. "She seemed to be happy with the other guy, she is not thinking about you at all ... But I can't say the same thing about you."</p><p>"I am not thinking about her at all, and if you want us to continue <em>this </em>then I would suggest you to stop talking about Maria," </p><p><em>"You are a selfish bastard and a lier now too? How many things are you going to keep adding to the list?" </em>Levi thought and he cursed mentally for losing his cool and mentioning Maria's name in front of Elise.</p><p>"Alright, I won't ... But you have to stay with me ... Just for tonight," Elise pats softly on the mattress, inviting the short man to come and join her.</p><p>Levi couldn't say no. Although he wanted to leave, his mind and body were already tired. So tired of thinking about her and even though he was exhausted, he didn't want to stop. Maybe he could make this night better by just thinking about Maria. Just like he does every night before going to sleep.</p><p>He walks slowly towards the bed and was fast to lay next to the blond woman. She places her head on his chest and the only thing he could do was to close his eyes and think of things that made him feel better.</p><p>Well, more like a person who makes him feel better.</p><p>Levi began to think about her again and for a moment he imagined that it was Maria the one being with him. He expected this night to end up with her in his arms. Her head on his chest, her sweaty body against his. Their heartbeats slowing down after the heated night, syncing into the same rhythm. His fingers playing with her long brown hair while her hands softly touch his chest, pleasantly giving him small tickles. They could talk for hours about anything, he didn't care and somewhere between that, they just fall asleep in each other's arms.</p><p>That's all he wanted for tonight and he although he didn't get it, imagining it was the best thing he could do at the moment.</p><p>"See, isn't it nice being together just like this?"</p><p>Elise's voice resonated within him and although he heard it clearly, he would like to think it was Maria's. What a fucking pain she can be, always in his head, on his mind ... How dangerous this was. Just how much is he going to keep growing in this endless poison? But it was nice, he didn't want to escape. If it meant he could be with her forever ... Then he wouldn't mind suffering for all of eternity.</p><p>"Yes, it is,"</p><p>For a short moment, his anger was no longer there, his jealousy was gone. Happier memories filled his mind, and he couldn't wait to see her tomorrow, enjoying a cup of tea with the new teacup she gave him.</p><p>And Levi thought of her one las time before falling asleep, knowing he will see her again in his dreams. </p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>A/n: I said this chapter was going to be a bit steamy, but I didn't say with who lol. I need to build up the drama just a bit more. I think this is the first chapter in which Maria and Levi don't interact as much. I liked writing about Hange's point of view in the story, she is a bystander for now but as we progress she will have an important role. Levi could also be considered to be a bystander since he didn't do anything when he saw Maria and Nicholas together. We explored more of Levi's feelings, he is such a fun character to write. Our boy doesn't know what love is and even if he did, he wouldn't act upon it ... At least not now. Maria on the other hand is more aware of her feelings.</p><p>Anyways ... for the next chapter ... Things will get really good for Levi and Maria in you know what I mean.</p><p>In the next chapter, we will see ...</p><p>-A little bit more of Elise's past with Levi</p><p>-Maria and Nicholas's past relationship.</p><p>-Levi exploring his feelings, we need to develop him a bit more.</p><p>-An INTERESTING night with Levi and Maria</p><p>-Rivalry between Levi and Nicholas (This is one is going to be fun!)</p><p>Thank you so much for reading so far, I know it's a bit slow but believe me, it will be worth it! I appreciate every like and comment! I'll see you next week!</p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Lovers</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>One Last Time's Timeline<br/>834-Maria and her brother escape from home<br/>837-Maria's brother joins the cadet training program to join the Survey Corps<br/>839- Maria's brother graduates from cadet training program/ Maria meets Nicholas<br/>840-Maria's wedding day/ Nicholas is falsely accused of treason and thrown into jail.<br/>844- Levi, Furlan, Isabell, join the Survey Corps. (Hange too, according to No regrets)/ On the 23rd expedition outside the walls (that same year) Furlan, Isabell and Maria's brother died.<br/>845- Maria and Levi meet.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning wasn't anything like Maria expected. She thought it would be more pleasant, but instead, she had stayed up all night waiting for Levi to come back home. Everyone was back but him, well except for Eld who was most likely still with Elena.</p><p>When she woke up, she saw that the only one who wasn't home was Levi. Seeing that waiting was futile, Maria decided to go to the river and shower. She made sure to do it fast and efficiently. It was already 8 a.m. but since everyone was tired from the night before, she doubts anyone would show up at the river. And it was true, no one was there.</p><p>Ten minutes later, she already bathed, with clean clothes, and was ready to go back home to do her duties. When she was back, she was surprised that the door was open. She thought she had locked it before leaving and even had her house key in her bathing basket.</p><p>Slowly, she opens the door and a screeching sound was created as the old door was a bit hard to open. The brunette enters the house and closes the door behind her. As she was going to step into the dining room, she found the man she was waiting for all night long.</p><p>Levi sat on a chair on the dining table, drinking a cup of black tea. It was quiet for a second until Maria began walking towards him. He feels different, he didn't greet her nor acknowledge her presence. He was staring at nothing, just drinking tea.</p><p>"Morning, how was your evening?" Maria said as she sat next to humanity's strongest soldier. Still, he seemed to be out of it.</p><p>"It was alright," he replied, a bit late.</p><p>"Did you miss the last carriage yesterday night?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>Levi didn't know if he could fuck up things even more. He didn't dare to look at her, not after yesterday. Even when he didn't do anything wrong at all. He wasn't dating Maria, he wasn't in a serious relationship with her ... So why does he feel like he betrayed her?</p><p>"What about you?" Levi asks, still not looking at her.</p><p>"About me?"</p><p>"Yes, how was the rest of your evening?"</p><p>"It was alright, I hope I helped the Survey Corps get a lot of money," Maria said she was a bit hesitant but it concerned her greatly the way Levi was acting.</p><p>"And did you ... Did you dance with anyone in particular?"</p><p>It was strange, to see Levi like this. He was scratching the back of his neck as he looks to the side to avoid eye contact. Almost as if he was avoiding the question or as if he was embarrassed to ask.</p><p>But still, Maria was a bit hesitant. She didn't know if Levi was asking out of pure curiosity or because he saw her dance with Nicholas. And if she had to admit, that the dancing could have been misinterpreted, but it does not matter, right?</p><p>It's alright if she danced with Nicholas because, at the end of the day, they weren't in a serious relationship. She could be with whoever she wanted because they were not a real couple.</p><p>Maybe it was better to speak about it. At first, Maria wanted to keep seeing Nicholas in secret. A part of her felt like she was betraying Levi whenever she would sneak out of the house to see him. But what was there to lie about? Levi had been very clear yesterday. That he doesn't love her and that their relationship cannot be based on love but just lust. There was no real 'relationship' but that of carnal desire.</p><p>Maria was also very clear with Nicholas that she did not have any feelings for him. And it was unfair to him that they kept their friendship a secret.</p><p>They were just friends ... What was wrong with that? There was no point in lying to the Captain and she was certain that Levi would appreciate her honesty. Also that there was a question that she has been wanted to ask Levi. Why didn't he tell her that he knew Nicholas? Why kept his existence a secret from her?</p><p>"I did ... it's a bit strange but ... Do you remember Nicholas? Well, he-"</p><p>Maria was interrupted as someone from the outside was knocking at the door. The house attendant gave Levi a look as if she was looking for permission to open the door. He looks back to her and immediately, she stood up to open the door.</p><p>It took only a few seconds, she opens the door, revealing a young man with a bouquet of beautiful flowers.</p><p>"Hello, Ms. Maria? Mr. Achziger sent me to give you these flowers," the young man said as he gave Maria the bouquet. "He hopes to see you soon and for you to not hesitate to write to him."</p><p>"Tell Mr. Achziger that I appreciate the flowers and that I'll keep him in my thoughts every night," Maria smile as she bows delicately, she saw the boy walk away and was fast to close the door.</p><p>Walking back with the flowers in hand, Maria was already thinking of looking for a vase to put on the dining table.</p><p>"Well, this is how it starts," Maria said as she places the bouquet in the wooden dining table. Levi looks at her with a bit of concern in his face.</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"Just wait for a little and you will see ... Do you want to eat breakfast meanwhile?"</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>It was probably around 15 to 25 different people who came inside their house. Although Levi didn't like having people over, they will come and go just to give Maria material things. Flowers, perfumes, fruits, jewelry, and dresses. All of the gifts were from the men she had met last night and were trying to get a little of her attention by buying her expensive things.</p><p>"What is going on here?" Petra came out of her room with her pajamas and was happy to see that Captain Levi was in the dining room drinking his tea.</p><p>"Maria is been talking to some fuckers since the morning, I am just here looking out for the gifts," Levi says as he sees Petra yawning and taking a seat next to him.</p><p>"Well, aren't we a bit angry today Captain?" Petra says teasing him as she looks at all the products on the table.</p><p>"You know I hate loud mornings."</p><p>"Petra, you are awake!" Maria closes the door as a smile decorated her face. She had been waiting all morning for Petra to wake up. "I have something for you."</p><p>The brunette approaches the dining table and as she looks around the gifts given to her, she finds what she was looking for. A small crystal container with a clear liquid inside of it.</p><p>"It's perfume, I hope you like the smell," she says as she hands over the small container.</p><p>Petra looks at it with amazement. Perfumes were extremely expensive and she never thought she would receive one, nor own one at such a young age.</p><p>"You ... You are giving this to me? Really?" Petra's eyes shone which made Maria's heart fill with happiness.</p><p>"Of course, it's all yours!"</p><p>"Ah, thank you! I'll treasure it!"</p><p>Watching the two women interact was a nice scenery, Petra was happy with her gift and didn't think her day could go any better. Meanwhile, Maria was happy to see her friend like this. It was a small gesture but it was nice seeing her appreciate her actions. Noticing that Levi was staring at them for quite a long time, Maria remembered that she had also gotten something that he might like.</p><p>She looks back at the table and found a small wooden box. As she opens it and takes a quick look inside, she knew that this was the type of thing Levi would be interested in. The house attendant walks over next to the Captain, still holding into the wooden box.</p><p>When he was next to him, Levi acknowledges her presence by looking at her in the eyes.</p><p>"This is for you Levi, I hope you like it."</p><p>At first, he wanted to refuse. He didn't want to be any part of this. He didn't want any gift coming from men who only wanted to take Maria to their beds. But looking at the brunette, her enthusiastic eyes, and her smile ... It was difficult to say not.</p><p>He takes the wood box with his two hands and was quick to open it to reveal its secrets.</p><p>And of course, he was going to like this.</p><p>It was tea and many of them. All of them separated and classified by flavor. Some of them he didn't know about and others he had tried their flavor once. It was obvious that this was a very expensive gift, the variety of tea was impressive. It was only on a few occasions that Levi couldn't wait and try all of their flavors.</p><p>"It's a tea box, they have black tea, ginger, green tea ... I don't know much about them but I think you will like this better than me," Maria smiles at again, by the looks of it Levi was having a good time inspecting the tea bags. "I hope you enjoy them."</p><p>"Thank you," his voice was soft and low almost like a whisper but Maria heard him completely well.</p><p>Again, there was another knock on the door. Maria rolls her eyes in annoyance, she wanted to talk to Levi for a little bit longer. Nonetheless, she knew that she had duties to attend. Levi watches her again as she goes and attends the door. It was al old man this time, he was holding a white canvas and carrying a black bag.</p><p>"Oh, seems like someone commissioned a panting," Petra looks over to Maria who was talking to the old man as quiet as possible.</p><p>"A painting of what?" Levi asks.</p><p>"Of Maria of course," Petra smiles as she turns around to look at Levi. "It's accustomed that the woman sends off the painting to the man .... but when a man is very interested, he can request one." </p><p>The Captain knew nothing about the customs of the high class and honestly, he didn't care. But this wasn't the first painter that had come to schedule a painting with the brunette.</p><p>"And what does it mean?" he asks, not taking his eyes off the Maria.</p><p>"Well, its the highest form of courtesy there is ... For a man to have your painting, it means that he wants to see you every day," Petra sighs, as she thinks about love. "But of course, it's also a way to show off their status to other people. Wealthy men like to show they have money and women ... After all, commissioning paintings is very expensive."</p><p>Levi remembers the pen drawing they did together. He still has it, hidden on one of the cabinets of his room's desk. He sometimes looks at it, from time to time. The drawing couldn't compare to the real person, however, he had to admit that sometimes he would get the desire of seeing Maria. He never carries the drawing with him at the thought that it might tear apart in an accident. But maybe he should start doing it. Lately, he is just been having strong feelings of wanting to see her.</p><p>He also couldn't help but feel jealous as well. Those wealthy men would have a nice painting of Maria in their house's wall. They could look at it whenever they wanted and at the thought of that, Levi felt his insecurities rise within him.</p><p>Looking around the table and at the gifts placed at the top, Levi couldn't help but feel insecure. Now that he pays attention, all of these things were expensive. Some of these things were so luxurious that Levi knew that no matter how much he works, he would never be able to afford it.</p><p>Maria even got three beautiful new dresses, all of them in different colors and styles. The design was exquisite, the embroidery delicate and it was just everything worthy of Maria. Levi remembers with shame the white dress he gave her. Compare to the new ones Maria got, his dress was just a mere drag to clean the table.</p><p>He felt bad for even thinking that the white dress was worthy of her. The other men knew that she was worth so much more and that is why they gave her gifts and materialistic things.</p><p>And Levi knew that no matter how much he tries, he could never be able to give her the things she deserves. Nor the life she deserves, it will take him a lot just to buy a house for themselves-</p><p>Levi suddenly shakes his head as he tries to get rid of the thoughts. Was he just imagining a life with Maria?</p><p>
  <em>"Am I going crazy? What the heck am I thinking?"</em>
</p><p>After Maria finished scheduling a painting appointment for later on today, she said her goodbyes to the painter and went back to the dining room. To her surprise, Levi was standing up from his chair.</p><p>"I am going for a walk," he says and leaves the house. Leaving Maria and Petra preoccupied with his sudden change of mood.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>He didn't know what it was worst, thinking that he had the possibility of having a nice life with Maria. Or the feeling of guilt that was invading his body whenever he sees her.</p><p>Levi was familiar with this setting, he came here whenever he needed to clear his thoughts. It was his special place, on top of a hill where he planted a tree. The tree was still small but it was growing at a fast rate. It was around a meter tall and he took care of it every single day. He planted it in honor of Isabell and Furlan one year ago when they died. It was his comfort place and he came here whenever he felt like he needed to vent out.</p><p>"I wonder what would you two say if you saw me like this," Levi spoke to no one in particular but the tree, he faces it as he appreciated the leaves growing out from it. "Would you get angry at me? Tease me about it? Make fun of me?"</p><p>Levi was quiet as if he waited for an answer to come out of the tree.</p><p>"Yeah, Isabell would probably tease me about it and Furlan would tell me to hurry up and figure out how I feel," Levi says as he feels the wind blow on his face. It was a nice afternoon and if he had to admit, he even felt stupid for talking to a tree like this.</p><p>But what else could he do?</p><p>"You guys would have loved her ... She is kind and gentle and to be completely honest, I think she completes me," Levi says. "But she doesn't deserve someone like me, I have already fucked up so many things ... and still I ... Can't let her go."</p><p>Of course, this was his true nature, he was a monster. He only wanted to satisfy his desires, his needs. He knew that he was a bastard, a selfish lier and he had to accepted that part of him. And he thought that there was no need to change because no one who knows the real him ... will care for him.</p><p>And even if they do ... Why would it matter? Everyone eventually leaves ... Everyone leaves him, whether its death, whether it's by choice.</p><p>Levi knew that his life was destined to filled with loneliness ... So why even try? Why try when everything was futile?</p><p>But there were times in which he tried ... When he tried to love Elise, to get attached to someone. But a part of him, a dark and hidden part of him oblige him to stay away. It told him to not get too close, to not let petty feelings overtake him because it will happen again. They will leave him, replace him, and forget him.</p><p>He tried ... so hard ... But he couldn't. He just couldn't.</p><p>But with Maria? It was different. The way she smiles at him makes him feel that maybe letting his guard down once in a while wasn't a bad idea. Seeing her gave him peace, watching her walk around the house gave him a certain sense of comfort.</p><p>He felt ... He felt like she was the answer. To every question, to every doubt, he has ever had in his life. She was like the light at the end of the tunnel, one to admire but never to reach.</p><p>And how could he? How can he be open about his feelings when he knew that he will only cause her pain? How can he be close to her when he was scared to lose her?</p><p>And still, when he only wishes nothing but her well-being ... He still can't stop the growing feelings in his heart. His stupid, stupid heart that won't let him have a break.</p><p>And he was stupid, selfish, toxic, and possessive ... But how couldn't he? When everything he cared for has been taken away? How can he be good when life has never been good to him?</p><p>This was probably the reason why he felt comfort in sex. It felt good, to have human connection without the attachment. The affection was there, but the emotional attachment wasn't. And that reassured Levi to an extent.</p><p>That must have been the reason why he desires Maria so much. Besides that he has always found her to be attractive, she wasn't trying to be intimate with him. There was no emotional attachment but she wasn't scared of it either. She wasn't scared of trying to get close to him and even when he was indifferent to her actions ... She was there always trying her best and even gave him distance when he needed it.</p><p>But yesterday night, when he saw Maria and Nicholas dance together ... He felt it again. The thing he was scared of the most ... of her leaving him one day. Of her leaving after many nights together, of saying '<em>I don't want to do this anymore.' </em>Of her leaving, forgetting him.</p><p>And at that moment, as he watched her peacefully dance with the love of her life ... He felt stupid, for even thinking that there was a possibility ... A small possibility of her loving him.</p><p>Because he meant it, when he said that he was at her feet, that he will do anything for her.</p><p>Even falling in love.</p><p>"What I am thinking?" he said out loud. Sitting on the grass, he took a deep breath as he tried to calm down his feelings. "I just slept with another woman yesterday, that should prove it right? That I don't have those feelings for her ... I can't, I just can't."</p><p>Right, he couldn't. Because, what was love anyway? What does it mean? What do you with it? His feelings for her must be only that of carnal desire, right? That's why he thinks of her all the time, that's why he wants her to love him. That's why he doesn't want anyone near her.</p><p>He just really, really desired her right? His feelings should minimize once they have sex right? ... Right?</p><p>"Are you ok?"</p><p>Her angelic voice came from behind, he was so deep in thought that he didn't hear her coming towards him.</p><p>"You've been out for a while and I began to worry ... Petra told me that you might be here," Maria looks at Levi who was quiet but sensed a strange aura around him. "If you want to be alone, I'll go."</p><p>"No, it's alright ... You can come and sit if you want,"</p><p>Maria was a bit hesitant but still, Levi was acting differently as if something affected him. She wanted to talk to him and see if there was any way she could help. She sat next to him, taking attention to the small tree.</p><p>"Did you plant it?" she asks as she tries to take a better look.</p><p>"Yes, two friends died last year and this is my way of commemorating them," it even surprised Levi how easy it was to talk about Furlan and Isabell to Maria. Normally, he would have avoided giving explanations, but he just felt comfortable around her.</p><p>"I am sorry to hear that," Maria says as she gives a small pat in Levi's back. If she was honest, she still didn't know how to properly give words of comfort in situations like this. "I am sure they were great people."</p><p>"Yes, they were ... They were my family too."</p><p>For the first time, Levi was opening up to her. Maria knew that talking about the death of a loved one was hard. She didn't want to ask too many questions nor force him to re-live bad experiences. And even though this wasn't a moment to be happy, Maria couldn't help but feel a bit glad that Levi was opening up to her.</p><p>"You come here to talk to them?" she asks, trying to break the silence.</p><p>"Yes, it sometimes helps me to clear out my thoughts," Levi lets out a sigh and this time he turns to look at Maria. "But lately, no matter what I do, I am not able to clear my mind."</p><p>"Are they bad thoughts?"</p><p>"I wouldn't say bad, more like confusing,"</p><p>After the words left his mouth, a silence fell over them. It wasn't uncomfortable but instead, they were enjoying each other's silent company. The sound of the wind and the shared warmth between each other.</p><p>And now, Levi knew that this had to be the moment. There were many things he wanted to say but it was becoming more difficult now.</p><p>"Maria about yesterday ... We don't have to do it, you still have time to say no,"Levi says and he couldn't believe how much her face changed. How her face showed so much disappointment that it hurt him.</p><p>"You ... You don't want me anymore?"</p><p>His heart felt heavy at the moment her words left her mouth. At that moment, he wanted to take back his question, to make her forget that he even asked such a thing.</p><p>"No, it's not that!" Levi said and unconsciously he grabbed her hands, trying to get her complete attention. "It's just... It's just that I don't want to hurt you ... I think that it will eventually happen."</p><p>"I don't care,"</p><p>"No, you don't understand ... If you fall in love with me, I will hurt you ... I can't possibly have feelings for you-"</p><p>"I think that's my decision to make," Maria replied, she didn't know what was the point of repeating himself. He had already confessed that yesterday night. "What is Levi? You are not telling me something, you already said this why are you-"</p><p>"You will leave me," he says. "You will leave me won't you?"</p><p>She broke seeing Levi like that. There was a painful expression on his face, one that she wanted to forget. For a moment, she wanted to take all the pain away, for her to become a way of forgetting his doubts, his painful memories, his loss.</p><p>"I will hurt you ... and you will leave me ..." Levi gulps as he tries to keep eye contact with her. "I may have already hurt you and when you find out ... You will leave me, right?"</p><p>But Maria couldn't stand it, she just couldn't keep on watching him like this. She takes his hands this time, and without notice, she holds them dearly.</p><p>"Don't you think I know that? I know you will hurt me but Levi I have to tell you something ..." Maria knew that there was no holding back anymore, that this was the moment she had to be clear with him. "You don't have to love me, that's alright with me ... I am still not sure about my feelings either but I am sure of one thing..."</p><p>Maria brings Levi's hands close to her face and without notice, she gives them a small kiss.</p><p>"I want to be there for you, on your mistakes, on your failures ... I want to care for you. Even if this ends up hurting ... Even if after this we end in different paths ... I won't leave you."</p><p>He felt like he couldn't breathe for a moment as his heart had stopped. Maybe he died and he was in heaven, maybe all of this was an illusion. Oh, but how sweet it was, a dream he didn't want to wake up from. Intoxicating, beautiful, calming ... just like her.</p><p>"I am not good for you," he said one last time.</p><p>"Not for me, not if it's you."</p><p>And he couldn't hold himself any longer. He grabbed her by the face and kissed her deeply. Tasting each part of her, savoring her intoxicating and unique taste. She placed her arms around him, afraid that if she lets go, he will disappear. Levi felt the same, he now places a hand behind her head and the other one on her waist trying to pull her closer to him as possible.</p><p>He couldn't believe it, that he has such strong feelings for her. That a monster like him could want someone so much, that he could have petty wants. Like wanting to hold her hand, like wanting to brush her hair, like wanting to share his tea with her.</p><p>How was this possible?</p><p>He didn't know, nor he cared at the moment. There were still a lot of things he needed to figure out. It will take him a lot of time and it was going to be a hard process. But he didn't care going through hell if Maria was with him. He feels like he can do anything as long as she was with him.</p><p>Levi couldn't explain his feelings because he didn't understand them. But he really hoped that his actions could show just how much Maria meant to him.</p><p>That was the only way he could express himself at the moment. Was he being loud enough with his actions? Is his heart beating fast enough for her to hear? Were his hands holding her delicately enough for her to feel? Were his lips expressing every desire, every want, every need he feels for her?</p><p>He could only hope that whatever he was feeling, Maria was feeling the same thing.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>The river was a very calming place. The sound of water flowing, smashing against the rocks. The wind dancing through the grass and making the leaves fall from trees, the tweeting of birds. It was a nice day to wash clothes and just clear some thoughts on Maria's head.</p><p>Maria doesn't know when exactly she began to have these feelings for him and in all honesty, it didn't matter. Maybe it was his way of taking care of her, the way he was secretly kind, the way he delicately holds her. He had a different way of expressing, he wasn't like Nicholas who was very open about his feelings, and now that she thinks about it, they were very different. While Nicholas knew what he wanted and was expressive about it, Levi had a difficult time expressing his feelings, mostly because he still doesn't know what he feels. Or maybe he knows but he just can't put a name to it.</p><p>It was probably this side of him that intrigued her from the very beginning. The men that she knew were always open about what they wanted. Sex, intimacy, affection, love and even just talking. But Levi was different in the sense that he could be very straight forward but also the opposite. He was very in-tune with what his body desired, physically he had needs like every other man. However, emotionally, it was another story. He didn't know what his heart wanted and Maria couldn't also tell with certainty.</p><p>And maybe it was that what attracted her, his cold and sad eyes yet beautiful. She knew it from the first time she saw him, that there was a conflict within him. And Maria didn't know, but she wanted to be part of that. Of being of any kind of help to bring the shine back to his eyes. There was probably a time when they shone brightly but now they were dull, without emotion and she couldn't help but wonder how beautiful his eyes most look when he is utterly and completely happy.</p><p>She wanted to know, and that same question was the thing that made her want to be close to him.</p><p>There's still many uncertainties in her heart but there was one thing she was sure of.</p><p>She wanted to be with Levi, just be there for him. That was enough for her. Nothing more and nothing less.</p><p>After their heated make-out session at the hill, they haven't been talking much. He seemed distant and although Maria was a bit worried, there wasn't much she could do at the moment. Mostly because during the week they didn't have a lot of alone time. Maria was doing her daily duties and whenever she had free time she uses it to practice her writing and such. Petra would join her and talk to her or Gunther would ask her if she could make a late snack. Oluo sometimes asks her if she can run some errands for him. Eld would also talk to her and ask her to clean his room once in a while. Levi on the other hand was like usual. Maria never cleaned his room as requested of him, the only he would ask would be making tea. But even so, this week has been strange because he was doing that himself.</p><p>Maybe if they have some alone time this weekend, she would ask him about it.</p><p>And if they had time, she could ask Levi to teach her more words. She was still very new to reading and writing and it will take some time before she masters it. Nonetheless, she felt strangely motivated. About everything, even the smallest of things. Like the new fabrics, she got as a gift from the wealthy men she met on the weekend. She couldn't wait to go back home and start making some new dresses.</p><p>How long has it been since she felt this way? This motivated to keep on living? Probably since a year ago.</p><p>Before, her motive to keep on working as a tavern dancer was to give the best life possible to her little brother. But one year ago, when he died that motivation stopped. She kept working as a tavern dancer because ... What else was there to do? She had been doing the same thing since she was fifteen and when her brother died ... That motivation inside of her died as well.</p><p>From there on, she just thought of going with the flow. To live just because she could and if she was honest that was also probably the reason why she became a house attendant.</p><p>Because what else was there to do? Don't get her wrong, she likes to help people but she would be lying if she didn't say that her depression didn't play a part in her decision.</p><p>The first months were hell, constant crying, and sleepless nights. Her only family was dead, her motivation, her life. It was as if a part of her had died when her brother passed away. And she still can't forget him, he is always in her mind. And it pained her from time to time ... and it has only been a year, well almost a year. Next month it will be his death's anniversary, she made a mental note of bringing him flowers to his grave.</p><p>A lot of things have happened and the pain may never go away. But after a year of grieving, she could be glad that she could finally feel motivated to start a new again.</p><p>She had big dreams like starting an orphanage, but she could start small right? Maybe she could start getting some money by selling dresses and-</p><p>"Oh! I've been looking for you!"</p><p>She was taken back from her thoughts as she tried to recognize the voice behind her. Maria hears the neigh of a horse, she quickly squeezes the shirt she was washing and places it in the laundry basket. Slowly, she stands up and notices Elise Dietrich on top of a horse, approaching her.</p><p>"Ms. Dietrich, how may I help you?" Maria bows to show her respect but Elise could care less as she starts to get off her horse, taking her sweet time.</p><p>"Well, I just wanted to set things clear with you," Elise starts walking close to her, she was happy to find her here. It didn't take her long to find her. After all the river was a popular place to wash clothes for the house attendants. The only problem was that Levi's squad house was pretty far away from the rest of the dorms and a horse was needed to transport more efficiently. Of course, the brunette would be alone in the river, which for Elise it was all the better.</p><p>"And what kind of things would that be?" Maria asks.</p><p>Elise rolled her eyes in annoyance, did she think she was stupid?</p><p>"Drop the act, I know everything ... You know about you and Levi?" Elise looks up and down at her, judging. "You are his new toy."</p><p>Maria felt vulnerable and even exposed, her mind went towards Levi. She couldn't imagine him telling her about their <em>'pleasure-relationship'. </em>She had asked him as a favor to keep it as a secret. </p><p>"I don't know what are you-"</p><p>"He told me everything, so stop lying," that was a lie. Actually, Levi had told her nothing. But seeing them kiss that night at the event, clearly meant something. And the brunette, Maria, was a terrible liar.</p><p>"Look, I'll make it easier for someone like you to understand," Elise began to get too close to Maria and she walks backward, feeling discomfort. "I always get what I want, I worked hard to get where I am now and you think that I will let a simple whore come and take what is mine?"</p><p>And before she could respond, Maria felt how Elise grabs her by the collar of her dress, picking her up from the ground. She was strong and even though she had difficulty breathing, Maria was impressed that a woman could be this strong.</p><p>"Let me make this clear, I want Levi and I'll have him by all means necessary," Elise tightens her grip, making Maria lose her breathing. "You want to know how I know so much? Because Levi trusts me, he tells me things he won't ever tell you. We have a bond and a tavern shit like you won't destroy what I have work on for the past year!"</p><p>Elise was fast to use her good grip on Maria and throws her in the river. It wasn't a deep one, so she was in no danger of drowning. However, the river did have a lot of rocks and the strong impact against them made Maria flinch a little due to the pain. Her dress was wet, and she knew that she is going to have some visible bruises that she needs to take care of once she gets back home.</p><p>"So, what about making things easier for us and just stay away from him? Leave the house, ask to be relocated, get married with that pretty boy you were dancing with at the ball, whatever I don't care," Elise kept a strong stance as she kept looking down at Maria as if she was a low-life. "But I don't want you near him ... Believe me when I say this ... I'll do whatever is necessary to keep you away from him."</p><p>The beautiful woman looks over at the laundry basket, full of clothes that Maria was washing and without much thought, she kicks it into the grass. Steps on all of the garments, filling them with mud from the ground and her boots and finally, kicks them over to the river.</p><p>"Let this be a reminder," Elise then walks over to her horse, patting it delicately. "That between you and me... There's no comparison ... You are tavern shit and like that you will stay forever."</p><p>Maria watches Elise gallop away with her horse. She still couldn't move. Initially, she would have said something but it was such a surprise that she couldn't react properly. Now, here she was ... Her dress ruined, injuries, and bruises in her body and the clothes all over the place that she needed to wash again.</p><p>And at the sight, she couldn't do anything but think about how this moment was proper for someone like her.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>It was already late and Maria tried her best to be back before Levi's squad came back for dinner. But having to re-wash the clothes gave her problems. She couldn't take off the stain of mud out of the shirts and she was a bit scared of what Levi would say. He liked things to be super clean and it wasn't only his clothes it was everyone else's as well. Deep down, she felt like she had failed them. No clean clothes and no dinner.</p><p>She was already back and was a bit hesitant to open the door since she saw light coming from inside the home. However, she got the courage she needed and without thinking too much about it, she enters the house, and all eyes laid on her the moment she took a step in the dining room.</p><p>"Maria, where were you?"</p><p>Petra said as she stood up from her seat as everyone waited for her on the dining table. Everyone looks worried and the brunette felt guilty for making them feel such way.</p><p>"Sorry, I got ... distracted," Maria said quietly but even she knew that she was a terrible liar.</p><p>"Distracted? But look at you, you are a mess!" Petra walks around her, looking at her dirty dress and her messy hair.</p><p>"I fell on the river, it was an accident," to an extent, it was true and she felt a little better now for not completely lying. "But I have to apologize, I tripped and I took the laundry basket along with me ... I tried my best to clean them but the mud won't come off and-"</p><p>"What the fuck are you saying?" Levi looks angrily at the brunette as he starts walking towards her, he looks at her up and down. He then was fast to take the laundry basket off her hands and he was quick to notice purple bruises in her arms. "Look at you? Do you think we care about stupid clothes?"</p><p>It was quiet for a few seconds in which everyone was surprised at the Captain. He always had his comrade's interest at hand and cared for them openly but this was strange enough. He was clearly angry and his eyes were filled with such worry that they thought the Captain will start babbling with questions.</p><p>But as he feels eyes on him, he starts to clear his thoughts.</p><p>"Petra," Levi says.</p><p>"Yes, Captain?"</p><p>"Take care of Maria's wounds," Levi takes one more look at Maria before letting out a heavy sigh. "I'll check up on you later."</p><p>He was acting strange and without much thought, he placed the laundry basket on the floor and disappear into the darkness of his room.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>"Ouch!"</p><p>"Sorry!"</p><p>The red hair was finishing up bandaging Maria's arm. The house attendant could tell that there something that Petra wanted to say but was a bit shy about it. She didn't know why the atmosphere felt awkward. Was it because she was in her undergarments? A tight robe covers her chest and she was wearing some shorts that reach her knees. It wasn't the most revealing of things and she was used to dressing up in front of other women, but she understood if Petra didn't feel the same.</p><p>"Sorry, am I making you uncomfortable? Do you want me to cover up more-"</p><p>"He was really worried about you," Petra interrupted.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Captain Levi was really worried ... I've never seen him like that," Petra finished tying up her bandages but she kept looking at them as she was too embarrassed to look at the brunette in the eyes. "His left leg trembled in anxiety, he was biting his nails, he wouldn't drink his tea and he was like <em>'if she doesn't show up in five minutes I'll go look for her.</em>"</p><p>It was quiet as they were sitting down on her bed and the only thing that provided them illumination was the candle in Maria's desk.</p><p>"You said that nothing happened between you two that night and I don't doubt you but ... I do think something happened with Captain Levi," Petra eye's glow and Maria was scared that she was going to start crying at any second. "I think he is too dense to notice but I've seen it ... The way he looks at you, the way he treats you, buys you things, cares for you ..."</p><p>"I am not angry, it's just that I never thought Captain Levi would fall in-"</p><p>Taking about the devil, he enters without notice forgetting to knock momentarily. Levi and the two women stare intensely at each other, they were starting because they were startled and Levi was staring because it seems like they had been caught talking shit about him.</p><p>"What is going on-"</p><p>"GET OUT!" the two women scream in unison as Petra tried covering Maria and the brunette throws her pillow at the short man.</p><p>With his tail between his legs, Levi gets kicked out of the room. This is what he gets for caring for someone and he made a mental note to never do that again. But knowing that this was about Maria, he knew that the note won't last too long.</p><p><em>"I have been with so many women and I still can't understand them," </em>Levi lets out a small growl as he walks back to his room.<em> "Maria is lucky that I like her."</em></p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>Petra didn't say much after that but Maria was still worried about her. They needed to talk but it seemed like she couldn't find the right moment to do so. The next day, Petra was acting like herself again, happy, and without much worries. Nonetheless, the brunette still wanted to talk to her.</p><p>It was Friday morning and things were going as usual. Levi was distant, her bruises were still there, her ankle hurts a little but it's bearable.</p><p>"Maria, would you be joining us for dinner today at the Survey Corps training grounds?"</p><p>She was mopping the floor when she realized that Eld was talking to her. She had completely forgotten that today, Commander Keith Shadis invited the house attendants to eat with the Survey Corps members at the training grounds. Even Nicholas had mentioned it to her during the week, but so many things have happened that she forgot.</p><p>"Um, I don't know if I should ... I still have many things to do here," Maria looks around the house, she was looking for an excuse to stay. A part of her wanted to see her friends but she didn't want to see Elise again.</p><p>"Come on, it will be fun! Besides you and the other house attendants helped the Survey Corps get a lot of money, this is our only way to show our gratitude," Eld insisted one more time. The small dinner was today and before leaving to train, he just wanted to make sure that Maria was joining them.</p><p>"Um, I am still not sure-"</p><p>"What are you not sure about?"</p><p>Their attention was drawn towards the door, it was Captain Levi who looked more than ready to go training.</p><p>"Maria is not sure if she should join us for dinner at the training grounds," Eld responded and Maria instinctively hides behind Eld, for some reason she just didn't want to see Levi at the moment. It was a bit embarrassing because the only thing she could think of was of their heated kiss on top of the hill.</p><p>Her act intrigued Levi and it was even cute to him. The only thing that bothered him slightly was that it seemed like she felt more comfortable with Eld than him at the moment.</p><p>"You should go," Levi says as he moves his head to the side, trying to get a better look of the brunette. "That way you don't waste our food supply."</p><p>"If that is, then I shall not eat tonight-"</p><p>"Go," Levi said one more time, his voice was deeper as he tried to state his dominance. "It's an order."</p><p>His voice made her shiver and she even gulped saliva. It was one of the moments in which he showed no emotion, so she couldn't tell what he was thinking. He looks serious on his request and since this was an order and not something to bribe about, Maria only nodded. She looks away as she avoided eye contact.</p><p>"Yes, sir."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>The training grounds of the Survey Corps served for many things. Of course training mostly but it also houses the biggest dining room in the entirety of the Survey Corps. Every day, military members would eat lunch here and take a break from training. It was a way to keep on checking the food supply of the Regiment. It was becoming more often to see people eating here because the expedition outside the wall will occur soon. With the good news that the Survey Corps have gotten big amounts of money from royal sponsors, it has been decided to keep on with the past plans.</p><p>It could have been an alright day for Levi if it wasn't because the mistakes of his past were coming back to him. And they were very recent.</p><p>He knew he was distant and hasn't been talking to Marias as much as he would like to. But he felt a great sense of guilt every time he sees her. And he didn't know the reason why.</p><p>Something was telling him that it had to do with hooking up with Elise after establishing a <em>'pleasure only-relationship'</em> with Maria. They were in no real relationship, he had been very clear that he didn't have feelings for her and that he only desired her body. That their relationship will be based solely on lust. It wasn't anything serious and they were allowed to see other people.</p><p>So, what was this feeling in his heart that was telling to go to Maria right now, get on his knees and beg for forgiveness?</p><p>Why did he feel like he ruined the best thing that has happened to him?</p><p>And the guilt was eating him alive, thinking of it every night. Having dreams of Maria leaving him, asking him why did he betray her? Why did he hurt her?</p><p>His heart shrinks in pain as he thinks about her pain, her tears ... He didn't want to hurt her. That was the last thing he wanted to do and somehow he knew that it was impossible to stop that. Because he is a monster, an inhumane bastard. A fucking cheater. And it's not like he wanted to be but he had no control over it as if his mind, body, and soul were separated from each other. Was he mad? Emotionally unstable? ... Probably so.</p><p>"Captain Levi!"</p><p>And this was his living curse, the one that reminds him every day about his mistake.</p><p>He tries to ignore her as he walks through the corridors of the Survey Corps training grounds.</p><p>"Captain Levi!"</p><p>"For God's sake, what do you want?" Levi turns around abruptly, surprising the blond woman. He immediately feels bad as he sees that Elise takes a few steps back. Giving her his complete attention, he waits for her to start speaking.</p><p>"I just wanted to see you,"</p><p>Her quiet demeanor made him feel guilty again, strangely enough, that was the only thing he could recognize and feel lately. He was getting sick of it and she was one of the sources as to why he was feeling in such ways.</p><p>"Look, this can't keep going," Levi looks around as he tries getting closer to her. "I've discovered that I feel more bad than good when I am with you."</p><p>Elise's face change in expression, she had an angry frown and an upside-down smile decorated her face. She didn't care anymore if people were passing by or looking at them.</p><p>"Do you think this is a game? Do you think you can have me whenever you please?" the blond one said. She tried to show dominance but whenever it came down to Captain Levi, she couldn't help but feel intimidated. "I don't know if you have noticed but I am not like the whore you have at home!"</p><p>"Don't call her like that!" Levi raises his voice, it even felt strange for him to snap so quickly.</p><p>"Then, what should I call her? She is not your girlfriend, nor your wife! She is just a girl who opens her legs whenever you ask!"</p><p>"If that's the case then you should take a better look at yourself because the only woman who has opened her legs when I ask it's you!"</p><p>Levi felt a strong hand slap him across his face. It was alright, he knew he deserved it but he still couldn't help but feel anger rise within him. A few seconds passed in which they both couldn't believe what happened. They knew this wasn't the best place to fight as people around them began to whisper.</p><p>"You are the only man I've been with who I have loved, what we had was real," Elise gets closer to Levi's face, as she whispers in his ear. "I love you and no matter what you say or do, that won't stop ... Can't you see that? Can't you feel how strong my feelings are for you?"</p><p>Humanity's strongest soldier just stood there, listening to every word she had to say.</p><p>"And I won't stop until you love me back,"</p><p>As Levi was about to reply, Elise was suddenly pulled away from the Captain by a known figure. Short brown hair in a ponytail, glasses, and around the same height as her.</p><p>Hange Zoe.</p><p>"I think you have already put too much of a show, haven't you?" Hange looks at the blond one with intimidating eyes. But Elise wasn't backing away either. She wasn't scared of anyone much less Hange.</p><p>"Doesn't matter, we were done," Elise looks over at Levi one last time before walking away. "We will talk later."</p><p>She shakes off Hange's hand and reluctantly walks away, feeling the eyes of the Scouts' members on her. Hange looks around as making sure that no one was looking at Levi anymore. The corridors were usually empty but since everyone was invited to dinner tonight, it had more people than usual.</p><p>"You need to break off things with her," Hange says as she looks at Levi, it seems like he was still in a kind of trance. "You break up, and then go back together, break up and then together again, it's not good."</p><p>"She always gets like this when I try to break things off," he says as he looks away.</p><p>"And you think that's healthy?" Hange looks at Levi who placed a hand on his cheek, he tried to hide the mark but Hange had seen everything from afar. "I know that you hate it when people get on your business but ... If you keep this up, it won't only affect you but your other relationships with people."</p><p>There was a silence in which Levi seemed to only listen, he looks like a child being scolded.</p><p>"I just can't understand," Hange begins, "Why are you still with her?"</p><p>"It's the only thing that has lasted, the only person who doesn't leave me," Levi snaps at her, which it wouldn't be too much of a surprise if it wasn't because of the current situation they are in.</p><p>"I know it's wrong but ... it's comforting... that she is always there ... and I just can't leave her."</p><p>Hange looks at him in disbelief, if there was one thing she wanted to do at the moment was to protect the man in front of her. He seemed like a lost child, one who didn't have a home.</p><p>And the only thing she could do was to watch him walk away, with a hand on his cheek while pretending that he feels no pain.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>It was already diner time and Levi wanted to leave already. Everything could have been fine if his mood wasn't ruined by earlier events. He tried to stay positive, after all, he was sitting with his squad and they all looked very happy. Maria should be coming here soon too and the thought drastically changed attitude.</p><p>It was a lively atmosphere, a lot of people chattering with their friends. It was strange to see such a scene especially since they will be going outside the walls pretty soon. Not everyone in the Survey Corps was there but a big part of it was, he knew many of the squad leaders but he didn't interact with all of them. When he greets them, it was more of a formality than anything else. But he had to admit that it was nice seeing them alive after having outside the wall expeditions together.</p><p>"Hey, let's sit together with Levi and his squad!" it was Hange again who was fast to take a seat next to the Captain. She wrapped an arm around him and to that he only huffed in annoyance. He knew that she was trying to cheer him up and he appreciated the thought, but still he didn't like contact too much.</p><p>"Control yourself Hange," Levi says as he takes her hand off him, "Did you even wash your hands?"</p><p>"Hey! I am not as dirty as you think I am!" Hange says and she turns around to face the Fourth Squad, aka Hange's squad. "Right, guys?"</p><p>"She doesn't even wash her mouth," Nifa says with disgust as she takes a seat on the table.</p><p>"I've never heard of Hange taking a bath," Rashad said as he sat next to Nifa.</p><p>"She took a shower last week for the ball, don't be too hard on her guys!" Moblit tried defending her but in reality, he was doing more bad than good.</p><p>Everything would have been fine if it wasn't because Nicholas Flaherty also joined the party. He sometimes tends to forget that the bastard is part of Hange's Squad.</p><p>"Yo! Nicholas, come seat in front of Levi!" Hange says as she waves her hand to signal the red-hair to come and seat in front of the Captain.</p><p>
  <em>"Fuck you Hange,"</em>
</p><p>Nicholas seemed to not mind at all as he walks with his perfect smile in front of the table and seats right in front of Levi. Petra was sitting next to Nicholas and he felt her intense stare on him. Turning his head to face her, he found the ginger staring at him.</p><p>"I know who you are ... You are that guy I saw with Maria in our house a few weeks ago," Petra says and Nicholas felt his cheeks grow hotter by the second.</p><p>"What?" Levi asks but Petra and Nicholas pretend not to hear him.</p><p>"Maria told me about you a few days ago," Petra says, still looking at Nicholas. "She told me that you were very handsome and she wasn't exaggerating."</p><p><em>"Maria thinks he is handsome?" </em>Levi thinks to himself and rolls his eyes in annoyance. Now his mood was completely ruined and he begins to think if it would be better for Maria not to come. <em>"I mean what does she see in him anyway?"</em></p><p>"She talked very nicely about you, I wanted to meet you."</p><p>The young man scratched the back of his neck and looks away in embarrassment. "Hehe, I think Maria likes to exaggerate a bit."</p><p>"No, I think I was telling the truth."</p><p>And suddenly, Maria came into the picture. She placed her hands on Nicholas' shoulders as she whispers into his ear, surprising him. Not only him but everyone at the table.</p><p>Levi took a moment to appreciate her and he was pleased to find that Maria was wearing the white dress with a pink corset he gave her. Just like he thought, the dress was perfect for her. It even looks likes the white dress was made for her like, its whole existence was for it to be worn by her. The dress reached to her ankles, the pink corset was adjusted well to her figure and her collarbones were showing. It wasn't a revealing dress but Levi was already thinking of different ways he wanted to take it off.</p><p>"Where is Lisa?" Maria asks as she looks around the table to look for her blond friend.</p><p>"She will be here a bit late," Nicholas says. Her long brown hair laid gracefully around her shoulders and it reached her lower back, it was one of the things the young man likes the most about her. "But wow, look at you ... You look amazing."</p><p>He observes her, her every movement, her mannerism. She blushes as she puts a string of hair behind her ear, trying to hide her evident embarrassment. Levi looks away, trying to focus on something else before the moment that was transcurring in front of him. Just as he was watching her, other eyes were analyzing him as well.</p><p>"Yes, Maria looks so pretty!" Hange says out loud, "Right Levi?"</p><p>
  <em>"Fuck you again, Hange."</em>
</p><p>All eyes were on him as everyone waited for an answer. A few seconds of silence passed and Levi couldn't say much nor do anything to escape the question.</p><p>"I've seen better," he replies, he immediately regrets answering the question that way. Maria looks down at the floor, disappointed.</p><p>
  <em>"Stupid, she wore the dress for you ... She expected a better answer!"</em>
</p><p>"Well, you look fine-" Levi tries to make up for his stupid answer but instead Maria seemed reluctant now.</p><p>"It's alright, I don't care too much about your opinion,"</p><p>While Levi was left speechless, the rest of his friends looked at the brunette with a surprised face. It was evident for everyone that she was clearly angry and annoyed at the lack of delicacy of the Captain.</p><p>"Well, no matter what you wear you always look beautiful!" Nicholas moves a little to his left so there could be enough room for Maria to sit next to him. "Come sit next to me."</p><p>The house attendant did as she was told to, she was now sitting in front of Levi but by the looks of it, she was still a bit angry at him and won't even give him a look. Trying to forget about her anger and focus instead on her actions, Levi watches her without realizing that he was staring.</p><p>He noticed one important aspect of Maria. Levi knew that he could make the brunette feel embarrassed immediately, a power that was shared along with Nicholas. It bothers him to an extent but what bothered him the most was that she seemed to be completely comfortable with him. Their shoulders were touching and Levi knew that if that was him, Maria would be trying to touch him the least possible.</p><p>But the two just looked way too comfortable. And of course, why wouldn't they be?</p><p>They were about to get married, of course, they had an intimate relationship.</p><p>Nicholas was watching him from time to time, it was pretty obvious that he was staring at her. Nobody knows what kind of things he must be thinking but Nicholas only assumed the worst. He tried to think highly of the Captain, but he still had his doubts about him. Like why would he lie about not knowing Maria?</p><p>Then, something caught Nicholas' attention. It was Maria who would tremble every once in a while. He didn't blame her, after all, it was quite the windy night and it looks like it might rain. He didn't think too much about it and Nicholas began to take off his brown uniform jacket to give it to Maria. But as he did so, he noticed something. Or better say, someone, who was copying his actions.</p><p>It was for a fraction of a second but their eyes met. Levi was about to take off his jacket as well, and Nicholas could only conclude that he was going to give it to Maria.</p><p>The brunette was too distracted talking to Petra to notice this but Hange was the one to notice it. The intense stares, they are battling internally and it was just a matter of time to see who backs away first.</p><p>And surprisingly it was Levi, who gave out a small growl as he puts back on his brown jacket again.</p><p>Nicholas looks at him with intimidating eyes, as he completely takes off his jacket and without much thinking, he stands up and places it on Maria's shoulders.</p><p>The act surprised the brunette for a short moment but the feeling didn't last for long since she knew that Nicholas was very observant and gentlemen.</p><p>However, she did not expect his following actions.</p><p>"Maria, do you want me to groom your hair into a ponytail?" Nicholas ask as he begins to caress her hair, still behind her. "I know you don't like it when it's all over the place, especially when we are about to eat."</p><p>"But I don't have a hair tie," she responds.</p><p>"Oh! I have one!" Hange excitedly looks into her pocket pants and finds a black hair tie. She hands it over to Nicholas who accepted it kindly. The scientist knew that Levi was throwing daggers at her with his gaze but in all honesty, she wanted to see the drama that was about to unfold.</p><p>If looks could kill, Nicholas would be long dead. If there was one thing Levi wanted to do at the moment was to switch positions with the tall man. He sometimes dreamt of brushing her hair, washing it, and even play with it with his fingers.</p><p>
  <em>"Lucky bastard,"</em>
</p><p>Nicholas looks at Levi as if he challenging him and if it wasn't because there were a lot of people in the room, he would have already tackled Nicholas down.</p><p>"And done!" Nicholas says, showing off Maria as if she was a masterpiece.</p><p>"Wow, I've never seen a man do such a nice ponytail!," Hange says, trying to make Levi as annoyed as possible. "You must have a lot of practice."</p><p>"I did, I used to brush Maria's hair every morning," Nicholas smiles proudly. "She would sleep with her hair brushed but whenever we slept together her hair would get tangled, so I brushed it every morning."</p><p><em>"This guy must really have a death wish," </em>Levi was trying to contain himself as much as he could but his insides were telling him to put the man in the trash already.</p><p>"Nicholas always had very talented hands," Maria tried to save the situation. Especially because the word '<em>slept together'</em> may be misinterpreted. Well, they did make love many times, but that wasn't something she wanted everyone else to know.</p><p>"Of course I do! After all, every night you always liked for me to use them," after Nicholas let the words come out of his mouth, Hange and Petra immediately look at Levi. And for an instant, they really thought of preparing Nicholas' funeral.</p><p>"Well, I am sure Maria knows that whatever you do with your hands, I can make it better with my mouth," Levi replies and he didn't mean anything sexual. He actually implied kissing but seeing that he got anger out of Nicholas, then he didn't care at the moment.</p><p>Maria stood quiet, not knowing how to react. She watches Nicholas sit again on his previous seat, facing Captain Levi directly. If he wanted to fight, he was more than prepare for it.</p><p>"Of course you are a very talented man," Nicholas began, "I am sure that a man of your <b><em>high</em></b> status needs to have many talents to make up for what he lacks."</p><p>A few seconds passed in which was only death stares, Petra and Maria were worried but Hange was having the time of her life. No one has ever dared to make fun of Levi's height in front of him, she had to give props to Nicholas. If he was brave enough to stand up against Levi, then fighting titans would be nothing.</p><p>Just as it seems that they were ready to start a fight, another figure comes to 'save the day.'</p><p>"I can say that Levi is talented in many fields," Elise smiles at the two squads as she stands in front of the table. Everyone stopped what they were doing to look at her. "I am not quite certain my friend Maria knows about that, however."</p><p>"Friend?" Levi ask as he raises an eyebrow.</p><p>"Of course! Maria and I are very good friends, right?" the beautiful woman places her hands on Maria's shoulders which surprised the brunette, still a bit scared of her.</p><p>"Yes," Maria replied silently.</p><p>"A few days ago I asked her if she could do me a favor," Elise gets closer to her face, whispering in her ear. "But it seems like she has forgotten about it."</p><p>On the other side of the table, Hange was ready to throw hands with the blond one. Maria certainly looks uncomfortable, and Hange couldn't help but wonder what was going through her mind.</p><p>"But it doesn't matter!" Elise said excitedly as she pulls away from Maria. "It can be fixed easily!"</p><p>The brunette feels Elise's long nails starting to pierce her body. Normally, she would say something but at the moment she couldn't fight it. Not when everyone was looking, not when things were kept a secret.</p><p>"Oh!" Maria suddenly stands from her seat, getting the attention of everyone at the table. "I forgot something at home! You will have to pardon me but I need to find it."</p><p>"Can't it wait?"</p><p>The actions of the house attendant were very peculiar and Levi noticed it almost immediately. He quickly eyes Elise to try to look for an answer but instead, he was only met with a smile.</p><p>"No it can't, besides, you two have embarrassed me enough as it is," Maria looks Nicholas with an angry face and the tall man immediately regretted his previous actions. She turns to face the blond woman who was standing just behind her. "Elise, why don't you take my seat and enjoy the night?"</p><p>"That's so nice of you! I accept your offer," Elise sat on Maria's seat as the brunette moves away.</p><p>On the other hand, Levi was ready to stand up and stop Maria. However, Nicholas had reacted faster and was already on his way to see the brunette.The blond one rolled her eyes in annoyance because Levi seemed to be more invested in the safety of the brunette than her appearance at his table.</p><p>"Those two are meant for each other," Elise watches as Nicholas and Maria began to exist the dining room together. "A good for nothing ex-criminal and a whore."</p><p>At that, Hange couldn't take it anymore. Even if she gets punished later on by her superior officers, she didn't care. She just wanted to clean the floor with her.</p><p>"This is a warning squad leader Dietrich," Hange slams her hands against the table, but the blond woman didn't care at all. "If you insult any of my team members like that ever again, I'll make sure you end up in the trash."</p><p>"Oh? Squad Leader Zoe, no need to be so aggressive. I won't do it again, I wouldn't want to get into a fight with you, that's not very ladylike," Elise looks away as she takes a sigh, looking at Hange up and down. "But of course you don't know anything about being a lady, right?"</p><p>And it wasn't a lie, Hange didn't anything about that. And if she was completely honest, she kinda hated it. It wasn't like she didn't know. The way her comrades would think of her, a boy. As unattractive and ridiculously masculine looking. And although a big part of her didn't care, a tiny part was also hurt at the commentary. It was a direct hit to her self-esteem and insecurities.</p><p>"I'll go check on my experiments," Hange walks away, she always had Levi's best interest at hand and didn't want to leave him with a crazy person like Elise. But sometimes it was too much to take as well.</p><p>"I am going to check on her," Petra leaves as well, uncomfortable at the situation. Seeing that Petra was leaving, Oluo decided to go with her, and then Gunther followed and Eld. All of them saying their goodbyes to the Captain.</p><p>"We are probably going to town, so please don't wait for us at home," Eld said as he took his leave with the rest of the members.</p><p>The rest of Hange's squad also decided to call it a night, even when they didn't have dinner yet. They thought it would be for the better to just go to town with Levi's squad and eat there, but of course, they were going to check on their leader first.</p><p>And just like that, everyone left.</p><p>Alone in the table, it was only Levi and Elise, it was quiet while everyone else around them talked and chattered happily.</p><p>"See, don't you think it's better when we are alone?" Elise asks as she looks at Levi.</p><p>
  <em>"I know that you hate it when people get on your business but ... If you keep this up, it won't only affect you but your other relationships with people."</em>
</p><p>Levi remembers Hange's words and how they seem so true at the moment. He wanted to go after Maria, he wanted to go after Hange, he wanted to leave with his squad. But here he was, sitting with the person he wanted to be with the least.</p><p>
  <em>"I know it's wrong but ... it's comforting... that she is always there ... and I just can't leave her."</em>
</p><p>Levi looks at Elise who was smiling at him charmingly, he didn't want to say much nor fight. After what just happened a few minutes ago, he was emotionally and mentally drained.</p><p>"Yeah, whatever you say."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>There were a few times recently in which Maria took out her brother's past letters. She still remembers being at the tavern and asking Lisa to read them out loud for her. All of the letters were organized by date in a small brown box and she kept them separate from another box that contained Nicholas' letters.</p><p>She was in her room, on her desk as she tried to figure out the sounds of the letters. Now that she thinks about it, she didn't have a portrait of him. She remembers that a painter once went to their parent's house to do a family painting. The brunette may never see it again but at least it was comforting to know that his image was still alive.</p><p>Also, his handwriting was very unique and really nice, she felt good to look at the letters. She recognized some words from the previous reading trainings she had with Levi.</p><p>And now that she pays attention to it, her brother mentions his name a couple of times in his last letters. She recognized the letters from past moments at the tavern where Lisa would read them to her.</p><p>
  <em>"The boy and the girl could have been fine by themselves but the man, Levi ... I don't trust him one bit. They are criminals from the underground city, the only reason they are here is because Erwin convinced Commander Shadis for them to stay."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lisa says out loud as she reads the letter for her brunette friend.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria looks at Lisa in disbelief, "I can't believe they are letting criminals inside the Survey Corps!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"They are probably not that bad,"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Well, if my brother doesn't trust them is because he has his reasons!"</em>
</p><p>Her thoughts were interrupted as she heard knocking coming from outside her door.</p><p>"Come in," she says.</p><p>It was Captain Levi who didn't seem too pleased at the moment. He stops looking at her as he takes a moment to close the door behind him, not like privacy matter too much at the moment since no one was at the house and they probably won't be coming back for the weekend.</p><p>He walks closer to her as he notices that she was still wearing her white dress, her hair was up in the ponytail Nicholas did and she was holding a letter in her hands. Some more spread across her desk.</p><p>"Are you alright?" Levi ask as he tried to get some words out of her.</p><p>"Yes, I was just ... trying to read and remembering some stuff," Maria knew that Levi meant if she was alright because of her strange behavior earlier but that wasn't something she wanted to discuss at the moment.</p><p>"Was this what you were looking for?" Levi asks again as he gives a quick look at the papers on her desk.</p><p>She didn't want to lie but at the moment, it was better to. It has been a chaotic night and the last thing she wanted at the moment was to get into a fight with Levi.</p><p>"Yes, they are my brother's letters ... I forgot where I had placed them ... So, I looked for them," quietly she looks over at Levi who seemed somewhat content with her answer but not all sure about it. "He writes about you in his last letters ... Could you read them for me?"</p><p>A part of Levi was telling him that she was lying. It didn't seem like Maria to misplace something that she holds dearly into her heart. But at the moment, he didn't want to push it too far and make her say something she wasn't comfortable saying. He just obliged and nodded his head in acceptance.</p><p>The brunette smiles as she looks over to the desk to select a letter.</p><p>"This one mentions your name I believe," Maria hands over the letter, and Levi accepts reluctantly. He looks down to her one time as if to get her approval one last time before reading, she smiles at him, waiting. Without any further intervention, Levi looks back at the letter and begins reading."</p><p>
  <em>"Dear sister,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It just seems I cannot get along with Levi and his two friends. They were assigned to my squad and now they are under my command. Nonetheless, they seem to not want to listen to orders. They are very talented, I have to admit that much and even though I dislike them, I still don't want them to die outside the walls. They are my first squad and I would wish for us to stay together for a long time ... For now, they have my respect, hopefully, with time we will learn to get along better. For now, I can't help but wonder why they have given me so much responsibility ...</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sincerely yours,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>your stupid brother."</em>
</p><p>"Seems like you used to give my brother a hard time, didn't you?" Maria let out a small giggle, she wasn't angry but more nostalgic than everything.</p><p>"... What was your brother's name?" Levi asks as he keeps looking at the letter.</p><p>"Flagon ... Flagon Turret," Maria tilts her head, a little surprised by his question. He reminds quietly thinking and at that, Maria decided to break the silence. "He used to be a squad leader and one of the advisors for the Commander ... He was just 18 but he had already a lot of experience outside the walls ... So, a lot of responsibility was placed on him."</p><p>"He looked older ..." Levi says quietly, "When I met him."</p><p>"Well, he saw a lot of things happen in the 5 years he was here ... besides my dad used to look a lot like him when he was his age, so I guess it's just how we are," Maria looks up to the ceiling as she remembers her mother showing her a painting of her dad when he was Flagon's age.</p><p>"His hair, he was blond,"</p><p>Maria had to admit that she was the tiniest of offended at the statements being thrown at her, "Yes, well, our father has blond hair and my mother brown hair ... He looks like my father and I look like my mother..."</p><p>There was silence again and Maria spoke, "Are you doubting that he was my brother?"</p><p>"No, it's not that is just ..." Levi lets out a sigh, "It's just that I can't believe ... I was so rude to him ... I am sorry."</p><p>"There is nothing to apologize for," Maria says as she was still sitting down on the desk's chair. "From what I remember, he was also giving you a hard time ... but believe me, he appreciated you and admired you even."</p><p>Maria noticed that he was awfully quiet, and Levi wasn't usually like this. "He still had his doubts about you, but he admired your strong will to live ... You did everything you could to survive in the underground city, right?"</p><p>His past wasn't something Levi was too proud of and if he could, it was something he didn't want to talk about. Especially with Maria, he didn't know how she was going to react.</p><p>"Yes,"</p><p>The brunette didn't want to make Levi uncomfortable nor talk about something he didn't want to talk about. But she would be lying if she didn't say that there was a big part of her that wanted Levi to tell her. To grow a close bond with him and for him to trust her.</p><p>"Do you want to talk about it?"</p><p>Levi was scared of this question, he didn't want to talk about it but he didn't want to be rude either. Maria looks at him and instantly she regrets asking that question, he looks hesitant to answer.</p><p>"It's alright if you don't want to talk about it ... I understand," Maria smiles at him tenderly and that act alone reassured Levi. "I think I can understand you, both of us did whatever we could to survive. My past is not something I am proud of but it is what I did."</p><p>"No, the things I've done were terrible," Levi says as he places the letter he had on Maria's desk. "It's something I would not like to share with you."</p><p>"Is it ... because you don't trust me?"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"You don't trust me ... do you?" Maria looks down, trying to hide her embarrassment. It took a lot of courage to ask him. She couldn't forget Elise and words that she said to her.</p><p>
  <em>"You want to know how I know so much? Because Levi trusts me, he tells me things he won't ever tell you. We have a bond and a tavern shit like you won't destroy what I have work on for the past year!"</em>
</p><p>She had no right to know, nor force him to trust her. But there was a part of her that wanted to be close to Levi and not only physically but emotionally too.</p><p>Levi didn't say anything but just nod his head, the brunette felt her heart break a little. She was expecting it but she still had a small hope that it wasn't like that.</p><p>"I think you will regret getting close to me, or that you will leave once you find the truth about me," Levi kneels in front of Maria, he was trying his best to be as delicate as possible as not to hurt her feelings.</p><p>"But I have told you already, that no matter what I won't leave you-"</p><p>"I had sex with Elise the day of the ball," Levi lets the words come out his mouth as he looks at Maria. "I've killed people, many of them, robbed ... Do you still want to be with someone like me?"</p><p>And this is why he didn't want to say it but the guilt was eating him alive. He wanted to disappear, to take back everything he did, and to apologize. And this is why he was on kneeled, as a way to ask for forgiveness and beg her to stay with him.</p><p>"Do you feel ... guilty?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"You murder people but I don't think you enjoyed doing it," Maria says. "It wasn't your job, nor a hobby ... You were doing it to survive right? Anything so you could keep living ..."</p><p>A few seconds passed, where the air was heavy and Levi found it difficult to breathe.</p><p>"We are not in a serious relationship ... So, it's alright if you are sleeping with Elise ..." Maria looks away as she tries to hold back the tears. "Honestly, before I wouldn't have cared ... And I shouldn't care now either ... you and I are nothing ... So, why do I ... Why do I care?"</p><p>Levi sees it, the thing that he didn't want to see. Maria always seemed to be unbreakable, but here she was. Crying in front of him, trying her best to contain her tears as much as she could. His heart broke, and he even wonders if the pain he was feeling was possible.</p><p>"And the only conclusion I can come up with is ... That I think I am already falling in love with you,"</p><p>Her words struck his heart, and for a moment he thought he had stopped living. He felt numb as if he was in a dream, like this was just a fantasy. And he felt like the biggest bastard, like a jerk, like the worst and luckiest person on world at the moment.</p><p>"The reason why I slept with Elise was ... Because I saw you dance with Nicholas and you looked so peaceful, so happy ..." Maria couldn't see Levi's face as his hair covered his eyes, his head down. "I thought that you were going to leave me, to replace me at any second, I felt betrayed ... And still, I don't think you understand my feelings fully."</p><p>"I don't know if I am capable of loving you, but what I said that night, every word is true!" Levi gets the courage he needs, and still he was kneeling. He looks at the brunette in the eyes.</p><p>"I'll do anything for you, but love is something I don't understand, it may be something that I can't give you ... But for you, I'll try ... I'll try my best to return whatever you feel for me."</p><p>"And please allow me to be selfish, understand my reasons to be possessive over you ..." he says. "But I don't want to lose you."</p><p>This wasn't like him at all, he had never felt this vulnerable nor weak in front of anyone. And he hated the feeling, he hated to feel like he had no control over his actions. But he could endure it, as long as his words could reach the brunette's heart.</p><p>"Would you allow me to be selfish too?" Maria speaks softly and Levi was grateful that she was active in the conversation. He wanted her to continue as he didn't understand her question.</p><p>"Don't sleep with Elise anymore ... Just be with me, if you don't want me later on, then just tell me," Maria places her hands on Levi's face, making him look directly at her crying eyes. "Please allow me to have you all for myself and in return, I'll never leave you ... I'll be with you always."</p><p>"Even after knowing my past? Even after I slept with Elise?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>Levi grabs Maria's soft hands and places them in front of him, giving them small kisses. The act surprised the brunette but there was nothing she could do but accept them.</p><p>"Even when I am broken? Beyond repair?"</p><p>"I'll pick up the pieces,"</p><p>Suddenly, Levi stands up from his knees. He places himself in front of Maria, bending a little. She was sitting and this must be the first time in which he was looking down to her. Appreciating her face, as the candle's light hits her face delicately, Levi asked the final question.</p><p>"Even if I can't love you?"</p><p>Their hearts beat at the same rhythm, time deceased to exit, and there's only one thing that could be heard and that was their agitated breaths.</p><p>"Even if you only see me as a friend, even if you break my heart ... I'll be there, forever."</p><p>That was all that he needed, everything that his heart needed to feel at ease. For a moment, it was as if the heavyweight on his shoulders was lifted just with a look of the brunette.</p><p>And they knew that something else was going to happen. That their hearts were begging them to finally become one. It was only a matter of who was going to ask first.</p><p>"Tonight ... Would you allow me to make love to you?" Levi asks, and Maria takes a deep look into his eyes. There was no doubt in her heart that she wanted to be with him.</p><p>"Yes,"</p><p>Maria leaned in to kiss him but Levi suddenly moves away and he picks her up, putting her in his shoulders. With one hand, he held her still, and with the other, he picks up the candle that was in Maria's desk.</p><p>"Um ... Where are we going?" Maria asks a bit startled by his actions. "I thought we-"</p><p>"To my room, your room is nice, but is still a storage room," Levi says as he exits the room and enters the dining room. Maria stood quiet, this was embarrassing but she was letting him have his way.</p><p>With a kick, he opens the wooden door and enters his room. Very delicately, he places the candle on his desk and puts Maria's on the floor.</p><p>He turns to her and waited for a few seconds as if he was waiting for permission to continue.</p><p>"Are you comfortable here?" He asks as he moves closer to her.</p><p>"Yes, are you?"</p><p>The question took Levi by surprise, this must be the first time in a situation like this that he was asked if he was comfortable.</p><p>"Yes,"</p><p>He closes the gap between them as he kisses her softly. He has been craving to kiss her again since that day in the hill. His feelings were still mixed, and a sense of guilt still overtook him but the feeling in his heart was stronger. And he just knew that the guilt he felt could never vanish but he will try every day to make it up to her as long as she lets him be with her.</p><p>He places his hands on her back as he searches for the ribbon that kept the white dress in her body. It looks beautiful on her and Levi loved how nicely she wore it, but at the moment the only thing he wants is to take it off.</p><p>Their lips never stop touching as Levi finally finds the ribbon in her back, he didn't think it twice as he pulls it, and immediately the dress becomes loose.</p><p>At the act, Maria pulls away, a bit shy.</p><p>"Won't you turn off the candlelight?" she asks as she looks away.</p><p>"I would like to see you if that's alright,"</p><p>She wasn't used to having sex with the light on, she had done it a couple of times with Nicholas but it was a bit embarrassing still. Especially because it has been a long time since she has done it. But still, she accepted, she wanted to please Levi as much as she could.</p><p>At her acceptance, Levi pulls up his white shirt, removing it from his body. Maria knew that Levi had a very nice body, she expected to see a great number of scars, but it wasn't like that. Each muscle was well defined and she blushed at the realization that she was staring.</p><p>While he was busy unzipping his pants, Maria slowly lets her dress drop to the floor. Still, in her undergarments, she didn't want the dress to get dirty. She picks it up and slowly passes by Levi who just looked at her with amusement. Placing the dress in the desk's chair, she turns around to face the man shorter than her.</p><p>"I don't want the dress to get dirty," she gives and explanation with the hope that Levi would stop staring at her body.</p><p>"Are you embarrassed?" he asks, still keeping his distance.</p><p>"... It's been a while,"</p><p>That was the thing Levi didn't want to remember. He couldn't help but think how much of a lucky bastard Nicholas was. But at the moment he didn't want to think about that, because in perspective he was also a lucky bastard.</p><p>"Just follow my lead ... If you want me to stop at any moment, just tell me-"</p><p>"Actually," Maria interrupts him, she took a deep breath before getting the courage she needed to say the following words. "I want to ... I want to take care of you tonight."</p><p>Her words caught him off guard, but he didn't complain if that's what she wanted to do then he would let her. Although he was used to taking the lead and enjoyed doing that, a change of routine wasn't bad either once in a while.</p><p>He takes a few steps back and sits on the edge of the bed, watching her coming close to him. Maria places herself in front of him and without much thinking, she sits on his lap. Her legs parted and she potions herself, her face in front of him. Her breasts touching his chest, it was a comfortable position that won't last too long.</p><p>She kisses him softly as her arms embrace him, Levi instantly places his hands on her back.</p><p>He opens his eyes once in a while and he finds Maria taking off her hair tie, making her hair fall onto her shoulders like a waterfall. He was going take it off himself but it pleased him to see that she was doing it herself.</p><p>With each wet kiss, Levi began to wonder just how much he could take before pushing her to his bed. This was too good, and it was barely kissing.</p><p>The brunette felt a strong hand on the back of her neck, Levi was pressing her face closer to him, as if they weren't close enough already. She begins to move her bottom closer to his crotch where she felt something move at the sudden contact. The thin fabric that Levi was wearing as underwear wasn't helping much to his situation, Maria could already feel it under her.</p><p>Levi cursed mentally as he feels her teasing him. She moves her hips front and back, the friction of his member against her bottom was too much to take.</p><p>The sloppy kisses, the heat of the moment, the heavy air, it was something so similar and different for Levi. He had been with many women, all of them with their different wants. But this was different to him because there was a certain feeling he couldn't quite describe, a feeling that was overtaking his body. It was scary but very addictive as well. </p><p>Maria slowly removes herself from the top of Levi's lap and he watches her every movement, already missing the feeling of her on top of him.</p><p>"Please, laid on the bed," she says as begins to take off her brassiere, that was something that Levi wanted to do but it was nice seeing her do it as well.</p><p>He did as he was told, already feeling his heart race. His head laid on the pillow, letting out a small growl as he sees Maria get on top of him.</p><p>Taking a moment to appreciate her body, Levi wishes to see a bit more of her. But her breasts were covered with strings of her long brown hair and although he wished to see them, he still wouldn't change the view for anything in the world. She looked beautiful, the candlelight shades her body delicately and small strings of her hair moved as she got closer to him. He thought that she was going to kiss him, but instead, she began to kiss his neck.</p><p>They were soft kisses and the only thing she hoped was for him to feel every feeling she was having at the moment. So many things going through her head, many of them that she didn't understand. But she was sure of something, that she wanted him to feel loved.</p><p>And Levi felt it, every kiss, every movement of her. Her lips on his neck, on his collarbones, on his chest, not missing a part. It was as if she was healing his broken body, his broken soul. For a moment, he thought that his heart was going to stop working due to the adrenaline he was feeling. He tried his best to restrain himself from doing the same thing Maria was doing to him.</p><p>She stops as she got closer to his lower abdomen, looking up at him Maria realizes that Levi had pink cheeks, either because he was trying his best to control his feelings or because what she was doing surprised him.</p><p>Instead, she decides to tease him just a little longer, loving the look on his face. She sits straight, sitting on his abdomen as she takes his right hand. Beginning to kiss it slowly, delicately, her tongue touching his long strong fingers.</p><p>"Not so shy now are we?" he says as he watches her continue doing her art.</p><p>"Do you want me to stop?" Maria teases, knowing that Levi was enjoying this too much. "What do you want me to do?"</p><p>It was moments like this, that Levi felt this must be a dream. That there was no way this was happening because anything that makes him feel the tiniest of happiness, it always disappears. But he wanted more, he wanted to be with her, to be one with her. His mind, body, and heart were telling him to finally do what it desires.</p><p>He slowly begins to take control as he delicately moves Maria to lay in bed, taking his previous place. Finally, he was on top of her, face to face, he uses the back of his hand to touch her face, feeling every centimeter of it.</p><p>Kissing her nose, her cheeks, her eyelids, and forehead, Levi never thought he could feel this attached to someone. To feel whatever he was feeling at the moment, a certain sentiment began to overtake his body and he didn't want to let go of that feeling.</p><p>They stared at each other's eyes as Maria took a few seconds to appreciate him.</p><p>"I always thought your eyes were black," Maria whispers as she grabs Levi's face with her hands, he loves it when she does that. He felt like he was important to her, and he was. "But they are a beautiful shade of dark blue."</p><p>And that was what Maria always wanted to see, that sparkle of happiness in Levi's eyes. Although he may not be familiar with the feeling, she could tell that he was enjoying himself and that was what matters to her. If she could make him a little happy, if she could take the heavyweight off his shoulder even if it was for a small moment, she would do it ... Just to see that glow on his eyes again.</p><p>She gives him a small kiss on his lips, not regretting her words.</p><p>"I only wish for your happiness."</p><p>"I think I am," Levi begins to kiss her face again, scared that if he stops the moment between them will disappear. "As long as you are with me ..."</p><p>He kisses her lips, and looks at her with pleading eyes, "So, please ... don't leave."</p><p>"Never," she says as she begins to caress his hair, knowing that Levi enjoys the act.</p><p>"Be mine," he whispers in her ear and moves back to give Maria delicate kisses on her face.</p><p>"Always,"</p><p>Levi pauses as he looks at her in the eyes, not wanting to forget this feeling, this moment.</p><p>"Love me."</p><p>Maria smiles, as she places her hands on his face once again. Caressing his cheeks, his eyes soften at the gesture. At the moment, there was no doubt, no hesitation in her heart. She just wanted him, she only wished that faith had brought them together for a reason.</p><p>"Every day, as if it was my one last time."</p><p>They kiss again, forgetting that time and the world exist. At the moment, it was only them. Their strong feelings for each other, their hearts beating at the same rhythm and pure joy.</p><p>Levi couldn't think that there was anything else better than this. He knew now why this felt different, he wasn't just having sex. He was making love to a woman who loves him, truly loves him. And even when he still wasn't sure of his feelings, at the moment he could only hope ... that whatever he was feeling was love.</p><p>He knew that he couldn't let her go, not now, not ever. This was his moment, a moment of pure happiness and he didn't want for it to end. He didn't want to stop kissing her, scared that if he does, she would disappear.</p><p>But he couldn't think like that, not now when she had promised him to stay with him forever.</p><p>Levi had always thought of him as a monster, but Maria was showing him a side of him that he never knew. If she could love him just as he is, then he must be worth loving, right? The question could never be completely answered, at least not now.</p><p>But as their bodies began to want more, the desire of wanting to become one grew as the kisses became more heated, as their bodies began to sweat.</p><p>Soft moans and growls of ecstasy, their hands connected as a simple act of resilience. But it meant so much to him and to her, friction and the shrieking sound of the bed moving underneath them.</p><p>Maria's voice breaking as she couldn't stop herself from moaning, Levi enjoying her every single action. Her blushing face, her soft moans that were getting louder by each passing second and her hair that was a mess.</p><p>And their unknown act of love continued, tiring each other's body but still enjoying the exhaustion after. And when they finished, they didn't think about the consequences, nor cared about them at the moment.</p><p>Levi only cared about the brunette, sleeping in his arms. Finally, watching her sleep on his chest as he always wanted. He knew that was going to like the scene but he didn't know he was going to treasure it this much. She looks like an angel to him, so delicate and beautiful. He hated how much power she had over him but now that he looks at her like this, he didn't mind too much.</p><p>It felt nice, to be completely at her feet, to become completely hers.</p><p>And he only wished this moment could be eternal, he didn't want to go to sleep although it seems like a nice thing to do at the moment. Levi wanted to feel more of whatever his heart was feeling and he was also scared to find her gone when he wakes up.</p><p>But no, that couldn't be possible.</p><p>Maria already told him, didn't she?</p><p>That she was going to stay with him, forever.</p><p>And with that thought in mind, Levi embraces her, enjoying the contact of his skin against hers. He closes his eyes, feeling Maria take small breaths of air.</p><p>Levi never thought too much about his life, nor cared too much for it if he was sincere. But at the moment he couldn't stop thinking ... that he didn't mind living a little longer if it meant that he could enjoy her company for a lifetime.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Important: While writing the timeline for this story I realized that I made a mistake, during this year (845) Erwin is not the Commander of the Survey Corps. He is an advisor to Commander Keith Shadis. It's not too important to the story, but I already made the corrections for the past chapters and from now on he will consider as 'The Commander's advisor' until the story says other wise. Anyways, thank you!</p><p>*****</p><p>A/N: I have to admit that a part of me felt emotional while writing the ending scene. Levi and Maria have been through so much that giving them a short moment of happiness made me really happy.</p><p>I don't know if you all have noticed, but I tend to focus more on Levi's feelings than Maria's. That's mostly because this is Levi's story.</p><p>But please don't undermine her character either. She has been through a lot too. The love of her life leaves her before their wedding day, and the only person she cared for died a year ago. She is still hurt and in a sense, she is like Levi. She is also scared that her loved ones will leave her. Nonetheless, she is trying to be more open to the idea of love again, ever since she made that promise to Levi. She's also being through traumatic experiences but that will be explained later on as we progress with the plot.</p><p>I also would like to point out something. Remember chapter two? Where Maria was harassed and Levi steps in to save her? I didn't make it specific because, during this period of time, Levi doesn't know he is an Ackerman. But that scene was written to show the reader that Levi's Ackerman's genes were activated and that's why he is protective and more possessive of Maria. He also loves her, but his Ackerman instincts really enhance the feeling. That is also why he is confused because he had never felt like that for someone before.</p><p>When I first was writing the character design for Maria, I thought of the Levi's fangirls. (Yeah, I know a bit strange) But to me, I've seen that a lot of Levi fans only want the best for him and supports him regardless of his choices. The only thing we want is for him to be happy and for us to be there to see it. So, that's how Maria came to live, with the thought that hopefully the reader can view themselves as Maria and be there to presence his happiness. Her appearance is also very simple and common, and this is because I want the reader to connect with her. Besides that I feel like Levi is a man that appreciates simplicity, her brown hair, brown eyes and average height, is something we can see daily in women. However, she is very strong and independent and kind ... So with her character, I am hoping that everyone can relate to Maria in some sense. Either with her personality or characteristics or even her past life.</p><p>So here we are, 80,000 words later. 80,000 words of build-up, character development (And we still need more) and tension for this moment.</p><p>I really hope you are enjoying 'One Last time' I know I am having a blast writing it. I hope the sex scenes were kinda what you all wanted. There would be more heated scenes in the future, but for now, I wanted to focus on the character's emotions.</p><p>Also Levi s scared of formal relationships because the only relationship he is being on/off is with Elise and well, we can agree she is toxic. He doesn't the proper way of having a relationship and he is scared that he might end hurting Maria due to that as well.</p><p>When I was editing this chapter, I cut off a lot of things. Someone cute things, but I didn't want this chapter to be too long. Maybe later on, after I finish writing the story, I will make a new writing section. 'Deleted scenes' for the story, or something like that.</p><p>There is still a lot I need to work on, but slowly we will see each character progress.</p><p>I really want to thank everyone who has read this story so far ... Thank you so much!</p><p>Please, leave a comment! I want to hear you all's thoughts and it really motivates me to keep on writing &lt;3 Constructive criticism is also accepted! Once again, thank you for reading One Last Time: Ch.8 Lovers.</p><p>See you all next week!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Before the fall</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rumors have it that Elise Dietrich was the most beautiful woman in the Survey Corps ... and also the 'easiest one.' Coming from a wealthy family from the inside wall Sina, it was questionable as to why  someone like her would join the Survey Corps.</p><p>
  <em>"I heard that her family found her having sex with a man from the Military Police ... and because of that, her family sent her here!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I also heard that her family made the military police hang the guy ... With the excuse that he was plotting against the king."</em>
</p><p>It was the same thing over and over again. Whenever she walked past people, whenever she tried to eat at the dining room, it was constant chatter and gossip about her. And she couldn't say anything because they were true, about everything.</p><p>Growing up in a rich family, were emotional affection wasn't something natural ... It was hard to find the affection and love she needed.</p><p>When she was a child, Elise was playing in the garden and got her dress dirty with mud. Next thing she knows, her mom sent a servant to lock her up in the closet for a week. No food, no light.</p><p>Elise knew that her mom would have preferred a physical punishment. Like lash her back or slap her in the face, but according to her words, '<em>We can't afford to leave marks on your body, men won't marry you if you do."</em></p><p>So, starvation and deprivation of light were a good punishment for her.</p><p>Shaving her head and de-nailing her were also her mother's option because those things can simply grow back. It had been a couple of times when that happened, once when she spoke out of turn in a political matter, and her father was there. He didn't hesitate to shave her head and kept her locked until her hair was at an acceptable length for men to see.</p><p>They removed her fingernails once and that was when they found out she slept with a man without being married.</p><p>She was impure now, and unable to marry and so she was here now on the Survey Corps. Her family sent her for two reasons, one to keep the high status of her family and two ... With the hope that she dies outside the walls.</p><p>Elise didn't feel love for the military men, but instead what she liked was the affection he gave her. Flowers and secret letters from him and it was just nice to have someone love her. Her feelings for him weren't strong, but she did love him more than anyone from her family.</p><p>He was the only person who was there for her. And she was happy, to go against the rules of her family, to sleep with someone who loves her. And although the feelings were not mutual, at least in her side, she still cared deeply for him.</p><p>And her family killed him.</p><p>
  <em>"She has probably slept with the entire male population at the Survey Corps,"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What a whore, now she is sleeping with Levi too."</em>
</p><p>It was comforting, the sex. She, who had never felt the love from her family, was seeking for it in someone else. And even if it was just sex, she liked to think that the men had strong feelings for her and that they loved her. And in all honestly, must of them did. But when she asked them why they would answer with "<em>I think you are beautiful."</em></p><p>Of course, she was well aware of her good appearance. But even Elise knew that true love couldn't be based on that, the men she slept with weren't in love with her but her looks.</p><p>It wasn't the true love she desperately wanted ... And she even thought of giving up on the idea that such a concept existed.</p><p>Until she met Levi.</p><p>Elise thought that he was going to be like the rest of the men she slept with. But she was wrong ... Completely wrong about humanity's strongest soldier.</p><p>"Come on Levi, tell us ... How is she?"</p><p>Elise knew better than to spy on people but she was quietly reading behind a book stand, she was already there and wasn't planning on moving.</p><p>"I just got into a fight with someone because of that," Levi says. Elise looks between the book gaps and indeed, it was Levi and two other young men. "And as punishment, I need to clean the library, not that I mind but what makes you think I would want to talk about that?"</p><p>
  <em>"Did Levi ... get into a fight for me?"</em>
</p><p>"Come on, you broke that guy's arm ... She must be really good in bed if you defend her like that,"</p><p>Elise recognized that voice as she takes a better look, she notices that it was Elias and his other friend, Luca.</p><p>"Or maybe ... Do you love her?" Elias asked as he teases Levi. He was quiet as he uses a clothe drag to clean one of the bookshelves. "From man to man Levi ... You shouldn't have emotions like that for girls like Elise, she's beautiful but not worth loving in my opinion."</p><p><em>" ... I already knew that, idiot," </em>she thought.</p><p>"You are wrong, Elise is a woman of many qualities that are worth loving. Like how smart she is, she trains hard every day, and even if she doesn't show it, she cares and is kind," Levi faces Elias, giving him a terrifying look. "If you can see past stupid prejudices, then you can see how great of a woman she is."</p><p>Levi looks to his side and looks at Luca then back at Elias as if to warn them both.</p><p>"And I am warning you if you speak ill of her again like that I won't hesitate to break your bones." </p><p>The two young men left him after that, terrified already as it is.</p><p>Elise didn't know what was this uprising feeling in her heart. That was the first time someone had defended her like that, it was the first time someone had spoken well of her.</p><p>She felt like Levi actually cared for her. And caring was a form of love. If a man like Levi, who didn't let himself get attached to anyone, could have feelings like that for her then ... Would she be able to experience love?</p><p>Was Levi the man who should her how to love? Would she be able to experience what it feels like to be loved by someone? True love ... With the man, she expected the least.</p><p>And she stood there all night long, waiting for him to finish his punishment. Just thinking that the her feeling that started to grow for him was love.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Elise was starting to get accustomed to Levi staying in her room after sex. They would talk about their days, as usual, Levi mostly listening as he played with Elise's hair. She enjoyed the act and the warmth they gave each other after a heated night.</p><p>They had gotten into an argument the night before, as Levi wanted their relationship to be secretive. But Elise, as she had already confessed her love for him, wanted everyone to know about the two. But just like every argument, they ended up solving it by not talking and instead have sex.</p><p>"Why don't you give me hickeys?" she asks as she looks at her body with a hand mirror. Levi was already changing back to his clothes, ready to start the day. "I want them ... they are like love marks. "</p><p>She knew that Levi wasn't the romantic type to do those things. And it was probably too much to ask of him especially since they weren't in a serious relationship ... Yet.</p><p>"For me, that's like telling everyone we are in a serious relationship and I don't' want that," Levi finishes putting on his shirt as he turns around to find Elise sitting at the edge of her bed. Her blanket covering her body with a small mirror in hand.</p><p>"Besides, we already talked about this ... I am trying but I can't feel love towards you right now," he walks over to her. He didn't want to make her feel sad. After all, Elise has to be the first woman who had stayed with him for a long time. To an extent, he cared for her and didn't want to harm her.</p><p>"I know, I just want you to love me," the blond one looks to the side, a bit embarrassed. After she had confessed her love to Levi, he was very clear that he couldn't feel the same but he was going to try and love her. She accepted this and also wanted to continue with their friends with benefits relationship. "If you ever do, will you give love marks?"</p><p>Levi holds her hands, he had to admit that Elise was very beautiful and had many charming qualities. And if he was being completely honest, it was comforting that someone had stayed by his side this long even when circumstances weren't in their favor.</p><p>"Yes," he says.</p><p>The beautiful woman smiles, thinking about the day that her body would be covered with love marks. The day when Levi shows that she was completely his and that he was completely hers ... A day that never came to be.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Levi wished he could sleep more, it was nice to sleep for long periods of time like this. He likes having Maria sleep on his chest, her arm embraces him, and her hair a mess. But of course, anything that he enjoyed last little. He feels her move away from him and he immediately misses her. She sat at the end of the bed, her back was exposed as she stretches her arms.</p><p>What was he supposed to say in this situation? Usually, he would remind quiet and just leave the room. But at the moment it feels like he must say something.</p><p>"I am going to take a bath," Maria says quietly as thinks about how yesterday she had brought home a bucket of water. She could heat that up and take a warm bath.</p><p>"You were good last night, thank you."</p><p>What was wrong with him? Of all other things he could say, that was the best thing he could come up with. He watches turn around to look at him, a judging look on her face.</p><p>"I am not a whore," she says.</p><p>"I know, sorry I didn't mean it like that-"</p><p>"It's alright, forget it,"</p><p>There was a heavy silence again and Maria knew that maybe she was coming off as a bit cold. But in reality, she was just extremely embarrassed. How long has it been? Four years since she had intimacy with someone and that someone was Nicholas. After a few seconds, Maria began to appreciate her body a little longer.</p><p>There was a small window on top of the room, letting in enough sunlight to illuminate the room. She looks at her arms, at her naked legs and chest.</p><p>"You gave me hickeys?" Maria pulls the white blanket away from Levi, using it to cover her body. "Do I have some in my neck?"</p><p>Levi sat at the other end of the bed as he looks for his clothes. Glad to see that there was some type of reaction coming from her. He had to admit that he was a bit scared and disappointed when Maria showed no reaction after waking up. He didn't know why but he expected something more ... Romantic.</p><p>"No, there's none. You didn't let me give you love marks in the neck last night, remember?" Levi rolled his eyes in annoyance and he even felt some sort of déjà vu. "Also, from what I can see, you gave me none ... Why?"</p><p>"You don't' understand, I don't want people to see this-" Maria may have not left any love bites in him but she had definitely done her way with his back. Red nail scars on his back, Maria didn't know if she should tell him or not but decided to keep quiet for now.</p><p>"Now I am going to have to wear the Survey Corps uniform Petra gave me to cover up for a couple of days," she whispers more to herself as she stands up from the bed, still covering her body with the white blanket.</p><p>Oh, how have the tables turned. He remembers a time where he hated the idea of giving and receiving hickeys and now here he was ... Desperately wanting to see Maria filled with his love marks, if only she wasn't covering herself up.</p><p>"Are you alright?" Levi notices that Maria was walking a little strange. She slowly makes her way to his desk's chair and picks up her white dress. "You are walking a little strange."</p><p>Again, there was silence and Maria just knew that she definitely won't be answering that question. She knew the reason why but she knew that after a hot bath the pain should go away fast enough.</p><p>"... I am just going to take a bath."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>It wasn't like she regretted being with him. It was a beautiful night and she enjoyed herself very much. Nonetheless, she still couldn't wash away the sense of guilt in her body. Now, she couldn't stop about Nicholas and about the possibility of him knowing about this ... It will just break his heart and also Petra. It just felt like she was betraying a friend.</p><p>Those were the kind of feelings a simple bath couldn't wash away. She was at a wooden bathtub, with the water she heated up a few moments ago. In some circumstances she had the luxury of taking baths like this. Usually, they were at the river because it was fast and convenient. But it couldn't compare to the privacy of a bathroom.</p><p>She was enjoying the tranquility of it as she tried to clear her thoughts and feelings until ...</p><p>Levi was coming into the bathroom, a white towel around his waist. Maria could have sworn that she had locked the door but maybe she was just too far distracted this morning.</p><p>"Can I join you?" he asks as he stands in front of the bathtub. There was enough room for both of them and although Maria liked the idea of having a bath with Levi she knew that it would be too embarrassing.</p><p>"Shouldn't you have asked that before entering?" she asks.</p><p>" ... Yeah, you are right,"</p><p>Maria regretted her words immediately. Watching Levi's disappointed face was something that she didn't want to see ever again. But she wasn't having the best of mornings, also that she was still a bit angry that Levi gave her so many hickeys. Last night when Levi asked her if he could give her hickeys, she thought it would be two or three ... Not twenty.</p><p>"Sorry," Maria says making Levi stop midway. "I am just a bit embarrassed and I don't know what to say, it's been a while and I am trying to figure out what to do."</p><p>The short man could understand her completely, after all, he also didn't know how to react. He thought he had this over control but he was acting like a total klutz. As if this was his first time with a woman and it wasn't like that.</p><p>He walks back towards the bathtub as he takes off his towel and Maria looks immediately away in embarrassment. Still looking away, she saw with her peripheral vision how Levi began to submerge himself into the bathtub. Now he was in front of her and although Maria tried to stay as far as possible, their legs still touched each other.</p><p>Levi took a moment to look at her, most of her body was underwater but he could see some hickeys on her shoulders ... maybe he did go overboard ... just a little bit.</p><p>Her indifference was killing him slowly and many questions began to surface with him. Did she regret it? Did she not like it? Did he hurt her?</p><p>"About last night ..." Levi starts, "Did you enjoy it? Or did I hurt you?"</p><p>His concern was adorable and Maria felt bad for making him worry about her in such a way.</p><p>"It just hurts a little but I will be fine,"</p><p>"I am sorry, I will try to be more delicate next time."</p><p>"No, it's alright," she says as she looks away. "I enjoyed it ... a lot."</p><p>He had to admit that he felt proud but more than that, Levi felt happy that he was useful to her. She was looking very desirable at the moment and he didn't mind making love again right now. But seeing that Maria was tired from last night, he decided to back away .... for now.</p><p>"Also, I shouldn't be too upset about the hickeys ..." Maria tried to change the topic. "I did leave a lot of marks on your back."</p><p>"It's alright, I enjoyed it when you were giving them to me,"</p><p>He wasn't supposed to say that. The thought was in his mind and he even felt stupid for saying such a thing. It was one of those moments in which he let his vulnerable side show, something that only happened with her.</p><p>"But don't get used to it ... Sometimes I train without a shirt and I don't want people to see," he says but that was actually a lie. He didn't give a shit anymore.</p><p>"Alright," Maria lets out a giggle and Levi unconsciously smirks. It was nice to see her more comfortable like this. And this was more or less what he fantasized about doing after lovemaking. Just relaxing and enjoying each other's company.</p><p>"Wait, Levi ... You didn't shower before entering the bath ..." Maria says.</p><p>"No, I didn't ... Why?"</p><p>"Because you are supposed to wash your body first and then enter the bath!" Maria was thinking of a way to stand up without showing too much of her skin but she knew that it was going to be futile either way. "Now I am going to have your germs all over me!"</p><p>"I was all over you last night and you didn't complain."</p><p>At that she stands up, the embarrassment was too much. She couldn't believe she was falling in love with a man who had no delicacy with such topics.</p><p>But maybe that was one of the things she liked about him.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>If he was being completely honest, Levi didn't know he had to shower first and then enter the bath. For him, it seemed like a total waste of water. Growing up in the underground city taught him that things like water were precious and he never even dreamt of taking a bath like this.</p><p>Especially like this, with Maria giving him a bath, showering his body with water and soup. He was still at the bathtub and Maria said that she was going to take this opportunity to bathe him properly.</p><p>Not like he never did but it was more like a relaxing and grooming kind of bath. She had a white towel wrapped around her body and another one in her hair. She sat on a small wooden chair at the back of the bathtub where she was delicately massaging Levi's hair with soap.</p><p>To Levi, life couldn't get better than this. It was just a very intimate thing to do. They were completely comfortable around each other now as if they had always done things like this.</p><p>And he didn't complain at all, not one bit.</p><p>He felt her delicate fingers massage his scalp as the smell of soap relaxed him. The water was still warm and Maria used a cup to wash off the soap on his hair.</p><p>Levi closes his eyes trying to clear his thoughts as best as he could. However, his mind couldn't let go of yesterday night. It was an incredible experience, he never saw sex as anything more than a way to release some frustrations and satisfy his carnal desires. But Maria had shown him a different side of lovemaking.</p><p>He couldn't describe it completely with words but if he tries, he could say that it was <em>'healing.'</em> It was as if Maria was healing his soul, with every kiss she placed on his body, with every kiss they shared. Her soft moans were like music to him, the best he had ever heard and her small declaration of love made his heart burn with passion.</p><p>But even after that magical night, Levi couldn't let go of one thought. He knew it was futile to think about such things and even petty to an extent. Nonetheless, his heart was filled with jealousy whenever he thought about Maria and Nicholas.</p><p>How many nights of passion did they share? He couldn't get rid of the thought of Maria, declaring her love for Nicholas before they reach their climax together. He knew that it was a long time ago, but he couldn't deny that Flaherty was still a threat. Their interaction yesterday at dinner proved it. How comfortable they were with each other, how easy it was for Nicholas to make Maria blush. Levi couldn't deny it ... That he was jealous of their past relationship.</p><p>"So, tell me ..."</p><p>Maria heard Levi's voice, she enjoyed their silent interactions but talking to him was always nice.</p><p>"Who is better? Nicholas or me?"</p><p>Alright but that was something she wasn't going to answer.</p><p>"I won't answer that," Maria says as she still takes care of his hair.</p><p>Levi suddenly turns around. If Maria didn't know better, she could tell that he was offended.</p><p>"Oh, so he is better than me?"</p><p>He had a frown on his face. Levi was expecting a different answer from the brunette. But seeing her blush and looking away made him question his performance.</p><p>"I didn't say that! I said I wasn't going to answer that question," she replied softly. "How would you feel if I asked you to tell me who is better between Elise and me?"</p><p>"You, no question about it,"</p><p>Maria blushes and she had to admit that his answer made her feel a bit happy. But still, she didn't want to respond ... Because she knew that he won't like the answer.</p><p>She looks down as she tried to avoid eye contact. And a few seconds passed in complete silence and that was all Levi needed to know to answer his question.</p><p>"He was better ... wasn't he?" Levi turns back around, facing away from her.</p><p>His gesture hurt her a little but sometimes the truth was painful like this.</p><p>"He was the first man I gave myself to," Maria whispers quietly, with the hope that Levi was still listening to her. She could see no expression from his face as Levi was only showing her his back. "There are a few things in my life I am sure of ... and at that moment there was no doubt in my heart that he loved me and I loved him ... Making love with the person you love ... there's no better feeling than that."</p><p>There was no reaction from him and Maria didn't want anything but to embrace him. But she didn't know what he was feeling. Maybe if she could see his face, she would know. But now, there was nothing indicating her of his current emotions.</p><p>"Yesterday ... You said that you were going to love me every day," he says. "Was that a lie?"</p><p>"No," Maria said immediately. "That was no lie, I am falling in love with you each day ... But the difference is that I knew Nicholas loved me ... But do you?"</p><p>Again, silence and a part of her wished that Levi would turn around, kiss her, and say yes. But she knew that it was impossible. Not now at least.</p><p>It still pained her and tears threatened to come out of her eyes at seeing that there was no action nor words coming out of him. But this wasn't the place to cry, she stood up from her wooden seat, not wanting for Levi to see her sad and make him feel bad.</p><p>"I am going to my room and brush my hair," she says, leaving Levi alone with mixed feelings.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Humanity's strongest soldier didn't know what to feel. He felt something and he recognized the feeling very clearly. Anger, sadness, disappointment, and even panic.</p><p>Anger, because the lucky bastard of Nicholas Flaherty was still inside Maria's heart and he had to share that with him. Sadness because he felt like a part of Maria still loved Nicholas. Disappointment because he thought he would be the only one in her heart and panic because ... A constant part of him felt like he could lose her at any moment.</p><p>And even with all of these feelings, here he was. Outside of her room, trying to think of a way to ask her an important question.</p><p><em>"Just go in and ask," </em>Levi thought. <em>"You kill titans with ease, so why is this so hard?"</em></p><p>"I know you are there, just come in," Maria says from her room. At that Levi curses mentally before entering her room. There he found her, sitting on her desk's chair, a small stand up mirror in front of her. Maria was brushing her hair, the thing he wanted to do the most.</p><p>
  <em>"Just ask her if you can brush her hair, dammit!"</em>
</p><p>"The outside the wall expedition is on Wednesday and I don't know what may happen ... I may die and well I was wondering ..." Levi looks around the room as Maria stares at him. "Can we make love the night before?"</p><p>Alright, that came out worse than the thought.</p><p>"Oh? But I am going to the outside the wall expedition on Wednesday too," Maria responded. "I think I should rest well the night before but if you want we can-"</p><p>"Wait, what?" Levi's mood changes completely, making himself forget about his past desired. "You are not going."</p><p>"I have to, it's not really a choice ... Commander Keith Shadis sent a letter about a week ago, Petra read it for me," Maria said still looking at him. "I thought you knew."</p><p>"What do you mean you have no choice? You are staying here," Levi's voice was strong and that sounded more of an order than a request.</p><p>"I have no choice, I am the property of the Survey Corps, they tell me what to do," Maria added, "Besides I don't think it's a bad idea, we are going to help heal soldiers in case anyone gets hurt." </p><p>"What do you mean you are property of the Survey Corps?" Levi was now getting erratic, it was as if Maria was talking in another dialect that he didn't understand.</p><p>"When someone starts as a tavern dancer or prostitute, you start getting into legal debt with the tavern ... They make you sign some papers and such ... The owner allows you to work there, gives you clothes, makeup, food and a place to sleep ... all of that builds up a debt,"</p><p>For Maria, this was common knowledge but for someone like Levi, it must be a bit complicated to understand the concept.</p><p>"As the years go by, you build up a lot of debt and it's almost impossible to pay it off ... Making you tied down to the tavern forever."</p><p>Levi walks around the room, desperate as he listens to Maria's words.</p><p>"When our boss was captured by the military police for conspiracy, he paid to get out of jail by selling us to the military police," she continued. "And then the Survey Corps bought us from them ... So, every house attendant is property of the Survey Corps ... They bought us to be house attendants to help reduce the pregnancy rate between female soldiers."</p><p>And yes Levi knew that but what he didn't know is that the house attendants were owned by the Survey Corps. And that meant a lot of trouble. Maria and the other house attendants were new about the strange techniques of the Regiment. But Levi knew better than to trust the Survey Corps and it's chain of command.</p><p>"And they are forcing you ... to go?" Levi asks and the question concerns the brunette. Maria looks at the cabinet of her desk before opening it and pulling out a letter. She hands it over to Levi who didn't hesitate to take it and read it.</p><p>
  <em>"To the house attendant of this facility,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It is requested of you to accompany the Survey Corps to the upcoming outside the wall expedition. If you refuse to comply with this order, you will be put in trial for penalization and the house attendant title maybe revoked and be asked to leave the Survey Corp's land immediately.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Order from,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Commander of the Survey Corps, Keith Shadis.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>"You are sending them to their deaths!"</p><p>Hange tried to stop Levi from getting into a fight with Erwin but at the moment it seemed like an impossible task.</p><p>"I can't do anything about it, I am just one of the Commander's advisor," Erwin said from his desk. "If it makes you feel better, I voted against it."</p><p>"It all makes sense now, that stupid event was made to collect back all the money you spent buying the tavern dancers!" Levi walks around the room from back to front. This most be the first time Hange has seen Levi like this.</p><p>"We had to do it," Erwin replied. He wasn't really concerned about Levi nor wanted to deal with him at the moment. It was a Saturday and he would prefer the quietness.</p><p>"But why? You are already killing soldiers, now you want to kill women too?"</p><p>Hange tried to step in seeing that humanity's strongest soldier was really about to break Erwin's neck at any second, even when he wasn't at fault at all.</p><p>"We are losing too many soldiers recently ... This can help us reduce the number of deaths," This wasn't Erwin words, but the words of one of the other advisors. And if Erwin was being completely skeptical, they had a really good point in the meeting.</p><p>"By sacrificing women? By using them as carnage?"</p><p>"I think you better than anyone should know that some lives are more worth than others,"</p><p>And that was true. A simple fact of life than not even Hange, who was present at the current situation, could complain about.</p><p>"We need to do everything we can, try new ways, and plans to find out what best works to keep us alive," Erwin said, still looking at Levi who was now in front of his desk.</p><p>"Right ... Because the life of a soldier is more valuable than the life of a whore ... is that what you are trying to say?" Levi said as his deep voice change to that of panic.</p><p>"Levi, I think you-" Hange tried to meddle with the situation but instead she found herself getting yelled at.</p><p>"This doesn't concern you shitty glasses! You should be angry too! Don't you care for the life of your house attendant too?"</p><p>Levi remembers perfectly how evidently Hange cheered for her house attendant on the day of the event. She smiled as she watched her perform and he thought that they had grown a friendship during the time they have been living together.</p><p>And it was true, Hange was worried but even she knew she couldn't do much. She was just a squad leader ... What could she do?</p><p>"You know that's how society works, that's how the Survey Corps works as well," Erwin decided to speak as he tried his best to break the tension between Levi and Hange. If Levi was going to get angry, it should be at him.</p><p>"Not me for me," Levi says. "If you do this, I won't go."</p><p>"Have you forgotten that you are allowed to live above ground as long as you are part of the Survey Corps?"</p><p>The air suddenly became heavy as few seconds passed in complete silence, not even Hange thought Erwin would touch the subject again.</p><p>"Are you threatening me?"</p><p>"No, I am being realistic ... If you don't go, Commander Shadis may see this as treason and remove your right to live here and I won't be able to do anything to help you."</p><p>Erwin knew that he was being indelicate but he needed to remind Levi once in a while that he wasn't completely in control of his actions and these had consequences.</p><p>"I don't care, Maria is not going-"</p><p>"If you don't go, you will go back to the underground or be given to the military police and be up for trial for your criminal past ... A lifetime in prison or hanged."</p><p>And Levi didn't give a shit about that, at the moment he could only think of the safety of the brunette. Erwin knew that his words were no passing through Levi's head. So, to make him understand, he had to talk about what would happen to Maria.</p><p>"If she doesn't go, she will be kicked out of the Survey Corps lands," Erwin says. "Tell me what would she do? Go back to be a tavern dancer? So she can be exposed to be harassed again? Do you think she would want that? Do that and you won't be able to see her again."</p><p>And this is exactly what Hange had in mind while watching the two talk. There was nothing they could do, much less Levi who even when he was the Captain, he did not have much power to the decisions of the Commander.</p><p>"And don't even think about disobeying orders during the expedition or it will be a worse punishment for you and her."</p><p>"Why didn't you tell me before?"</p><p>Levi seemed to be finally understanding. No matter what he does, nothing would end up good for Maria. But now it was a matter of trust because in the year Levi had known Erwin, he thought that at least they had developed trust between each other.</p><p>"Because I didn't want for that fact to stop you from pursuing a relationship with Maria,"</p><p>And that was true. Erwin had Levi's interest at hand and wanted for him to have someone who could make him happy.</p><p>"It backfired, I didn't calculate correctly ... I didn't think your feelings would grow like this so quickly."</p><p>Hange learned two things today ... That Erwin was a wingman, helping Levi get a girl someway or another. And that it seems that there was a '<em>relationship' </em>between the house attendant and Levi ... And that alone was a very interesting fact.</p><p>"I am sorry."</p><p>Erwin's words were sincere. And he even felt guilty for ever thinking that Levi could be strong enough to handle the situation. Maybe unconsciously, Erwin was portraying himself into Levi. He wasn't able to be with the love of his life because his job at the Survey Corps was more important ... Deep down, he didn't want Levi to go through that and he wanted to give him an opportunity to experience love.</p><p>"Erwin ... If anything happens to her ..."</p><p>He couldn't see his face, but Levi's voice expressed more emotion than anything else. He was worried, more than that ... It seemed like he could already picture it, her dying even when that hasn't happened yet.</p><p>"We will try to be as careful as possible," Erwin tried to reassure him but he knew that to an extent that his words meant nothing.</p><p>"I've heard that before ... And it didn't end well."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>
  <em>It seems like no matter how hard he tried ... He couldn't move.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>No matter how much he screamed for it to stop ... he couldn't.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>No matter how much he tried to protect her ... He couldn't.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He just stood there as a titan ate her body, shewing her and swallowing it. Her blood splatter across his face and the only thing that wasn't eaten was her arm and hand. Her hands, which he loved so much. A memory of Maria, caressing his hair ... Something that is never going to happen again.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Why didn't he do anything?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Why did he only stand there? Watching her scream his name, her screaming in pain, the sound of her bones breaking.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And he felt anger rise within him, he wanted to kill the titan. Slay it into pieces, have his vengeance that he craved so much ... But it didn't matter anymore.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He was done ... He didn't want to fight ... Maria was gone.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>His life was gone.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Why fight when she is not here? What was his motive? Why was he even doing it in the first place?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>To keep living above ground? To discover the truth about the titans? To see the outside world? No, he had no real motive. He was just living because to an extent it was entertaining ... Even in things like this, he was just like Kenny.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But when Maria came along, he was starting to realize the small things. Realizing that there were things to live for, he was discovering his motivation.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And even when she promised that she was going to be with him always ... He felt betrayed because she left him here with an unaccomplished promise and his desire to spend his life with her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Levi had never given up, he always did what it was needed to keep on living ... But what can he do when life itself separated from him?</em>
</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>He woke up exalted, he took breaths as he felt that air was missing from his lungs. He looks around the dining room, just to make sure that this was actually reality. Levi sat on one of the dining chairs, knowing that he fell asleep while drinking his tea.</p><p>And even when he knew that it was just a dream, he just needed to make sure she was alright. It didn't even take him a second to stand up from his chair and walk to Maria's room. He knew that his actions were rude but he felt great relief as he opens the door to her room and finds Maria sleeping peacefully.</p><p>He had seen her sleep before, but this time was different ... He was just really happy to see her alive.</p><p>But the moment didn't last too long as the brunette wakes up as she hears the door being opened. She was about to scream but calmed herself as she saw that it was just Levi.</p><p>But he looks different like he had mixed feelings. And Maria knew that he was worried about tomorrow, feeling anxious and maybe scared. She even felt bad to an extent because he felt those things because of her.</p><p>"Do you want to lay next to me?"</p><p>Levi didn't hesitate and went towards her bed, closing the door behind him and locking it. Maria moves a little to the side, making enough room for Levi to lay next to her. Picking up the blanket, Levi went under the blanket and turned his body to the side to face the brunette. Their faces were close to each other and they just enjoyed the warmth radiating from their bodies.</p><p>"I am sorry I am making you worry," Maria whispers but Levi was very close to her and could hear her words. "But, I'll be fine ... Believe me."</p><p>That was something Maria couldn't be sure of. If she was being honest, she was really scared. She had never seen a titan before but from what she had heard, they were horrendous monsters. But she couldn't say that to Levi, she couldn't admit that she couldn't sleep at the thought that this might be her last night alive.</p><p>"To be honest with you ... One of the reasons why I got close to you was because I thought you would be safe inside the walls," Levi says. "If I have learned something from going outside the walls ... Is that it doesn't matter if I believe in my strength or the promises of others ... I have no control over anything."</p><p>Levi broke away the eye contact as he felt anger rise within him. "This is why I didn't want to get close to you ... This is exactly why I cannot let anyone get close to me, nor get attached to them ... They all die and leave me-"</p><p>"Are you regretting being with me?" Maria says as she places her hand on Levi's left cheek, caressing it softly. "If I die ... Will you regret meeting me?"</p><p>That was something he couldn't answer with certainty. A part of him wanted to lie and say that he wouldn't. But he wasn't like that, he was selfish and had great hate towards life.</p><p>"I don't know," he responds, liking how Maria stroke his face delicately. "For me to know, I would have to experience it ... But I can't even imagine you dying ... Just the thought of it ..."</p><p>"I know that no matter how much I promise you ... you won't be at ease but I am asking this of you ..." Maria gave a soft kiss on his nose, he wasn't expecting it but he appreciated the act. "If I am in danger, don't dare do anything stupid to save me ... Or I'll be angry."</p><p>"That's out of the question, I'll do anything to protect you."</p><p>"Stop being selfish," Maria takes away her hand from Levi's cheek and he misses her touch almost immediately.</p><p>"How is me wanting to protect you selfish?" He asks a bit offended and disappointed that she was no longer caressing him.</p><p>"You care about me but won't let me care about you!" Maria looks at him with fiery eyes. "Besides you have a squad that depends on you! People depend on you, don't let them down just because you want to save a tavern dancer."</p><p>And that was the thing. He knew he couldn't let the other's down. He may be put into a situation in which he had to pick ... Maria or the members of the Survey Corps. And at the moment, he couldn't find an answer. It was what preoccupied him the most ... Not knowing what he would pick until the moment happens.</p><p>And he wishes with all of his heart that it will never happen.</p><p>A few seconds of silence passed in which Maria took the opportunity to speak again.</p><p>"If I die-"</p><p>"You won't," he responded.</p><p>"I am just saying that if I die, can you do me one favor?" Maria's eyes soften. Even when they said that this mission shouldn't be too much of a danger she still couldn't help but wonder. This may be their last night together and she didn't want to ruin it by starting a fight.</p><p>And he was thinking the same thing. He wasn't scared of dying but he couldn't say the same thing about Maria. Levi knew that these last couple of days have been hard for her and even so she kept a smile on her face as to not worry him.</p><p>"Fine, what is it?"</p><p>The house attendant kisses his lips, a small peck that meant a lot to him. And for a moment, he thought that he could break but she still will be there to pick up the pieces.</p><p>"Promise me you won't die until you open your teashop, alright?"</p><p>He knew that his small dream will take years to complete, it might take him a lifetime and Maria knew that as well. Was this what she wanted? To see him happy regardless if she was there or not?</p><p>Although he wanted to complain, he knew he couldn't. Mostly because he couldn't say no to anything that Maria asked of him. When she looks at him with her caramel eyes, when she smiles at him with such sincerity.</p><p>How can he say no to such a pure request?</p><p>"Would that make you happy?" he asks and Maria nods as she caresses his hair. His black hair that she had grown to love so much.</p><p>"Fine, but you have to promise me you won't die until I open it, alright?" He was almost begging her, as he uses his strong arms to put her in an embrace. He smells her hair, a sweet lavender smell radiating from it. How could he be able to live without this? He didn't know and he couldn't think about it either.</p><p>But he would anything for her, even find a will ... a motive to live again.</p><p>"You have to be there ... It's gonna take a long time so you better stay alive to see it happen."</p><p>He whispers in her ear as he places his head on Maria's chest, this time he only wanted to hear her heartbeat.</p><p>"I promise," she says as she continued playing with Levi's hair.</p><p>He leans in to kiss her as he places his hand behind her neck, trying to get as close as possible to her. Levi slowly begins to make his way on top of her, never stopping the kiss. Making his way slowly, he moves down to her neck, giving it small kisses and sucking into her skin just a little.</p><p>"I told you, no hickeys," Maria says as she delicately pushes him away. He gives her an annoyed look as he huffed, looking away. Sometimes Levi could very much be like a child.</p><p>"Also, I don't know if you are thinking about this but ... No sex tonight,"</p><p>At this Levi lets out a small smirk, as he places his face closer to hers. "No sex, but we can make love."</p><p>"No, not sex, not making love ... Tomorrow is the big day we need to rest and besides ... Your squad might hear us," Maria looks away a bit embarrassed, Levi thought of many ways he could enjoy tonight besides sex. But he wanted to be with her for the whole night just in case he dies outside the walls ... But that's not likely to happen. After all, he had the highest survival rate out of everyone.</p><p>"You are right, I can stay quiet but you can't," he teases her as he lays down next to her again. They have only made <em>'it'</em> once and it was during the weekend when no one was at home. Levi understood that the only times where they could be completely alone will be during the weekends.</p><p>Wow, he remembers how he hated it when his squad would leave for the weekend to go to town and get drunk. Now, the thing he wanted was for them to leave so he could have the house for Maria and himself.</p><p>"I think you got excited too quickly..." Maria looks down at the blanket, where Levi's bulge was becoming more predominant underneath it.</p><p>Alright, he probably was expecting more of tonight. But could you blame him? Maria was wearing his clothes like pajamas, he could see her breasts looking too soft to touch and her hair was loose. She was looking too good and she didn't even notice.</p><p>"If you can keep quiet, I can use my hand if you would like,"</p><p>She was embarrassed about it, but she also felt like she had some responsibility for the problem. Also, she very much enjoyed satisfying Levi.</p><p>And how could Levi say no? He was thinking of just going to the restroom and taking care of the problem but if Maria wanted to do it, then he won't deny her. "... If you want, then yes."</p><p>Maria's hand slowly made her way underneath the blanket where she delicately caresses Levi's lower abdomen and with her hand, she unbuttons his pants. Meanwhile, Levi was having the time of his life, he closed his eyes and focused on her touch. Her hand began to slowly stroke his exposed member underneath the blanket.</p><p>The brunette was also enjoying the act, although she was focusing on Levi's pleasure. It was nice seeing him like this, his cheeks slightly pink, his breaths becoming heavier and small growls came out his mouth because of the pleasure.</p><p>"Shit," he softly curses and the word made her stop immediately.</p><p>"Sorry, did I hurt you?" Maria asks.</p><p>"No, it feels good," he replies as with one hand, he grabs Maria's chin. Making her come closer to him and kiss him passionately. She teased him more as she only began to lick his lips and she loved seeing Levi angry with an expression of annoyance.</p><p>"Kiss me, dammit," Levi whispers as he made a mental note to have her payback for making him feel so desperate. The brunette really did have him at her feet but he wasn't complaining, he enjoys the feeling now.</p><p>She complies as she feels Levi's member twitching a little in her hand. He was about to finish, and at this point kissing him will give him the most pleasure.</p><p>After a few more minutes of heavy kisses and gentle strokes, Levi lets out a heavy growl. Maria stops kissing him as to let him breathe, his respiration was becoming less agitated as Maria moves her hand away from his member.</p><p>She didn't notice but Levi kept looking at her only, his fingers touch her cheek up and down. Although Maria didn't mind the act, she wasn't expecting it either.</p><p>"Oh, I should go to the restroom and wash my hand," Maria says as she looks at her hand, white sticky liquid covering her small hand. She was about to stand up but Levi quickly stops her.</p><p>"Wait, um-" Levi looks to the side, he can't believe he was about to ask this of her. "Wouldn't it be easier ... For you ... to you know ..."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"For you to lick it off?"</p><p>There was quiet and humanity's strongest soldier found himself speechless. He had never asked of a woman to do so before, this was a first.</p><p>"... Do you want me to?" Maria asks, it surprised Levi how the scene seemed to be normal to the brunette. She was mostly unbothered.</p><p>"You don't have to do it if you don't want to," Levi looks away, trying to hide his embarrassment. "Forget I asked, just go wash your hand-"</p><p>"I'll do it, I don't mind," Maria says. "You know it's funny ... You are usually very straightforward when it comes to sex but when it comes to your wants and feelings ... It's difficult isn't it?"</p><p>Maria began to lick off the liquid of her hand, she took a moment to appreciate the flavor. It wasn't bad, which of course is expected. Levi had a nice diet and exercised daily.</p><p>"Sex is different for me ... It's not an act of pleasure nor love ... But more like a way to relieve my frustrations and not think about my problems," Levi replies as he watches the brunette lick off his seed out of her hand. It was a very nice act and it gave him pleasure to see that she wasn't complaining at all.</p><p>"Oh ..."</p><p>He watched her finish licking everything off her hand and Maria looks away as she sits straight in her bed.</p><p>
  <em>"Shit, stop talking Levi."</em>
</p><p>"But, with you is different," he says, it was difficult for him to express himself. Especially in these situations. "You are not just a partner that I use to relieve myself of my problems ... I like making love to you because ... It makes me happy."</p><p>"I am glad to hear that ... Thank you, Levi," her heart flutters at his words. It was strange at how some simple words could make her happy. The only thing she wanted was to make him happy someway or another. Even if he only wanted her for her body, it was nice to know that at least he appreciated her in that sense.</p><p>"And it's not only the sex ..." he says out of the blue as if he could read her thoughts. "You ... You alone make me happy."</p><p>A few days ago, when Maria and him were taking a bath, she told him about Nicholas. About how making love with Nicholas felt better because she was sure that he loved her. Although he still wasn't sure that what he felt for her was love, he had one thing clear ... Maria makes him happy. Hopefully, that fact alone can bring her some sense of happiness as well.</p><p>But he felt like he fucked up the moment, he hears soft cries coming from the brunette.</p><p>"Oi! What is wrong with you-"</p><p>And suddenly, Levi feels her arms embrace him. Her heart beating fast against his, her chest against his. He smells her hair, lavender and he touches it carefully, delicately as if she was his treasure ... No, she was his treasure.</p><p>"Thank you ... You make me really happy too," she whispers in his ear and Levi felt his heart skip a beat. This moment it was almost too perfect and although Levi knew he shouldn't be asking this either ... the thought just crossed his mind.</p><p>"Where you ... like this with Nicholas too?" Levi asks, he wasn't angry. he was utterly curious about the past relationship of the brunette. And even so, he felt insecure ... that was a feeling he couldn't get rid of. "You were intimate like this with him?"</p><p>She looks up to him to get a better look at his expression. "Do you really want to know?"</p><p>Levi nods softly and waited for an answer. She lays her head on his chest this time, an act that he enjoys very much.</p><p>"Yes and if I am completely honest ... It was even more intimate,"</p><p>Her words hurt him a little but he tried to keep composure. After all, he was the one who asked her about it.</p><p>"I lived with him for a year and well ... Yes, we had sex but it wasn't only that,"</p><p>Alright, he didn't know if he wanted to keep on listening to her story. But another part of him wanted, he just wanted to know everything about her for some reason.</p><p>"We were intimate in other things ... We were comfortable with each other," she says as she softly began to caress his chest. "I could walk around the house naked without it being sexual, he would scratch his tummy without feeling embarrassment ... I would massage his feet, he would brush my hair and we would sleep together even when he would snore once in a while ... it was comforting to me."</p><p>Levi could picture all of it, them living happily, being comfortable with each other. Just being themselves and be completely at peace. It was something he was jealous of even if he didn't want to admit it.</p><p>"And I guess ... It was those moments that made fall in love with him,"</p><p>And with those simple words, his mood completely changed. It made him feel disappointed and sad even to know that there was no way he could compete with that. His insecurities sometimes got the best of him, but it had never been like this.</p><p>How even did he ever get to be with Maria? When the perfect Nicholas Flaherty was still pursuing her? When they had such a beautiful past together? Why did Maria even pick him?</p><p>He didn't dare to ask that question, at least not now.</p><p>"I hope ... We can be intimate," Levi closes his eyes as he took another deep breath. For a moment, all of the worries went away. There was no yesterday nor tomorrow ... Just him and Maria living in this moment.</p><p>"So, how does it taste?" Levi ask as to break the awkward silence that had built between them. Not the best of questions, but he was trying his best.</p><p>"What makes you think I would answer that," Maria said, she rolled her eyes as she tried to contain small giggles.</p><p>"I am trying to be intimate with you in other ways too," he replies. He lets out a small smile as he enjoys watching her laugh. "I am trying ..."</p><p>"Let's go slowly, it will take some time to get to that level of comfort ..." Maria pats his head, she didn't want to un-motivate him. But there were somethings she wasn't comfortable with either at the moment. It will take some time for their intimacy to grow and that's just how things are. "What if instead we try something different tonight ... I usually sleep on your chest ... Why don't you sleep in mine's tonight?"</p><p>Maybe things were supposed to be like this, Levi was a total fool when it came to things like this. He didn't know about intimacy nor feelings, he just acted upon them. And it felt nice that Maria wasn't scared of that nor was judging him for not knowing how to act properly.</p><p>He was stupid, and she was the smart one in this strange relationship of theirs.</p><p>Levi delicately places Maria to his side and he accommodates next to her. The act surprised Maria and without knowing Levi places his head on Maria's chest.It felt nice, to have him like this. She also had her questions, about his past relationship with Elise. But right now the moment was too good to ruin it with such questions.</p><p>Maria wishes for the moment that Levi could tell her just how he feels about her. Even if their feelings weren't reciprocated, even if he only cared for her as a friend ... It was alright. As long as he lets her be by his side for a little longer.</p><p>This may not be eternal, but her smell, her touches, and her soul were something Levi did not want to forget. He listens to Maria's heartbeat as a form to reassure him that she was still with him, alive.</p><p>And without knowing about their future, the couple drifted into a sweet sleep.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>This must be the first time Maria has seen all of the Survey Corps gather in one place. She has been in Shinganshina many times, mostly to visit her friend Carla. She used to be a waitress at a bar and Carla was the one who introduced her to the tavern world. They had lost contact over the years and had the hope to probably see her today.</p><p>Nonetheless, that hope had vanished, she didn't have time to see the city again.</p><p>Maria was with the other house attendants, on top of a prairie carriage. A simple one made out of wood and without the white coverage part. Two horses pulling from it and a Survey Corps soldier was the one controlling them with its's reins.</p><p>Although she had already talked with Nicholas the day before, the brunette wanted to see if it was possible to see him one last time before going outside. She also wanted to see Levi but from what he had told her, he would be at the back of the formation while she was in the front.</p><p>Nicholas, on the other hand, should be to the right side of the formation.</p><p>"Maria, stop worrying, Nicholas will be fine," Leah said as she already had enough of the brunette turning her head from side to side.</p><p>"I know but still ..."</p><p>If Maria was being completely honest, she was a bit more worried about Nicholas than Levi. Mostly because she knew that Levi was strong, humanity's strongest soldier and had the highest possibility of surviving out of everyone in the Survey Corps. Meanwhile, Nicholas has never seen a titan before, never been outside the walls, and was inexperienced.</p><p>"He trained a lot for this and from what I saw this morning, he was feeling really confident," Lisa says, remembering how Nicholas was even excited to go outside the walls. "You should be worrying about us, we are most likely to die."</p><p>"Don't think about that! Just think about our job, if anyone gets injured we need to keep them alive as long as we can," Leah was taking her role of leader and of course, everyone agreed on that. Around 5 to 7 prairie carriages were filled with house attendants, all of them having different thoughts about going outside.</p><p>"Maria,"</p><p>A voice came calling her from behind. She quickly turns and finds Levi approaching her, on top of a horse and breaking formation.</p><p><em>"Um, now that I think about it ... How does Levi get on top of the horse? Does he jump or something?" </em>Maria knew that it was something stupid to be thinking about but she couldn't help it. She was a few inches taller than him and she even had trouble getting on top of a horse.</p><p>"What are you doing here? I thought you will be with your squad at the back," Maria says as Levi finally made his way to her wooden carriage. Still on top of his horse while Maria was sitting in the same place.</p><p>Levi leans in closer to her as to make sure no one was listening and quietly whispers in her ear, "If something happens, go look for me."</p><p>Maria nods and thought that he will leave after that. After all, they were going to open up the gates soon. But he felt an intense stare on her, he wasn't looking away and she waited for him to say something.</p><p><em>"Just tell her dammit," </em>Levi thought but he always had trouble with asking these kinds of things. <em>"You already made love to her ... Just tell her ... That you want to brush her hair when you both are back from the expedition."</em></p><p>"Can I-"</p><p>"Maria!"</p><p>Another voice was introduced and this time it was the red-hair man Maria was looking for. The brunette quickly stands up from her seat, which surprised Levi. Maria moves to the other side of the carriage as Nicholas approaches her on top of his horse.</p><p>
  <em>"Is she worried about him? Why didn't she react the same way when she saw me?"</em>
</p><p>"Nicholas, what's going on? Why are you here?"</p><p>Alright, Maria was definitely worried about him, he could tell by just the sound of her voice. The house attendants watched the couple as well as if they were watching a romantic play.</p><p>"I wanted to ask you something ... If I survive today, will you go on a date with me?" Nicholas asks, like always he had a bright smile on his face.</p><p><em>"Say no,"</em> Levi thought immediately.</p><p>"What? No!"</p><p>
  <em>"Good girl,"</em>
</p><p>"You won't die, don't say things like that," Maria looks angrily at Nicholas, "I won't forgive you if you leave me again ... So, come back to me alright?"</p><p>"If I come back to you, will you go on a date with me?" Nicholas teased a little more. It's been a while since he has been alone with Maria. Although it will only be a friendly date, he didn't care. He just wanted to spend some time with her.</p><p>"Alright, I will go on a date with you," she says.</p><p>
  <em>"Fuck,"</em>
</p><p>Maria blushes a little but still was resilient. She had her hair in a ponytail with a white ribbon decorating it. But she was quick to take off the white ribbon, her ponytail was still beautiful nonetheless. "And because you are a gentleman, I'll be giving you this ... You need to return it to me ... So, don't die."</p><p>Nicholas was deeply touched. Maria giving him her hair ribbons was their ritual. Before, when he was part of the Garrisons, he was sometimes asked to go to other villages and small cities to help them calm down riots or just lend a hand with transferring prisoners. It could take a couple of days for him to come back but before leaving, Maria would always give him one of her ribbons. With the hope that he will give it back to her eventually.</p><p>Nicholas holds Maria's hand and he pulls her towards him. He was still on top of his horse but he bent down a little to kiss her.</p><p>It was fast and Maria was not expecting it. With her eyes open, she didn't know how to react. Although it was not a heated kiss, she was still deeply embarrassed.</p><p>And also, because she knew that Levi was watching from the other side of the carriage.</p><p>Maria wasn't the only one who noticed the deadly look of Levi on them, Nicholas noticed too and decided to make it clear to him.</p><p>As Nicholas kisses Maria, he opens his eyes looking directly at Levi who seemed to be ready to cut him in half. But of course, he couldn't do anything, just stay there and watch.</p><p>"Thank you, my love, I'll keep this with me," Nicholas says as he pulls away and takes the white ribbon away from her hand. He enjoys watching her blush and he also liked the jealousy radiating off the Captain.</p><p>"Flaherty, I don't think you should be here," Levi gallops slowly towards the red-hair man.</p><p>"I don't think you should be here either, Captain ... But here we are, aren't we?"</p><p>Maria just wanted to disappear while the house attendants were just looking at the three. They didn't know exactly what was happening but they were enjoying the drama.</p><p>"Well, I am ordering you to go back to your squad ... Now."</p><p>"And if I don't ... What will you do?"</p><p>Again, they weren't saying anything but just looking at each other's eyes. An intense fight between the two was going on mentally and Levi only wishes to make the fight physical. He was ready to beat Nicholas to a pulp. But he just needed for him to take the first step, for him to make the mistake of attack him first.</p><p>"Actually, neither of you should be here,"</p><p>And Maria's savior turned out to be, Erwin Smith. She really thought she was going to have a heart attack but Erwin came to break the tension between Levi and Nicholas. The blond one was also on top of his horse and had positioned himself between the two men to stop them from starting a fight.</p><p>"Levi, you need to go back to your squad," Erwin said before turning to look at Nicholas. "Flaherty, I have a new mission for you ... You will stay here and protect the house attendants to the best of your abilities."</p><p><em>"Fuck you, Erwin," </em>Levi thought.</p><p>"Yes, sir!" Nicholas saluted as he gave Levi a teasing smile. He was really looking for a beating now.</p><p>"Erwin, I-"</p><p>"I think I already told you to go back to your squad, didn't I?"</p><p>Erwin interrupted Levi who immediately felt offended by his words. But even he knew he couldn't do much against him.</p><p>Maria watched the short man gallop away as Erwin followed him from behind. She had the hope to see his eyes one last time before parting. Tragically, the last thing she saw of Levi was him, on his horse, disappearing into the countless soldiers of the regiment.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Levi knew he shouldn't and didn't have the right to be angry. And at the moment, he didn't know at who he should be angry ... Erwin or Nicholas.</p><p>Maybe Erwin, because he was still following him. It should have been him ... the one protecting the house attendants and not Nicholas.</p><p>"You need to lead your squad," Erwin said as if he was reading his thoughts. "I am already doing too much for you by assigning a scout to guard the house attendants."</p><p>"Nicholas out everyone? He has no experience outside the walls, is he the best fitted to guard the women?"</p><p>"No," Erwin responded. "But you know that he will protect Maria with his life."</p><p>It was the small details like this, that Levi appreciated Erwin. Although he was still angry at him, he knew that the blond one was right. He had responsibilities as a squad leader and Captain. And it gave him a bit of comfort knowing that there was someone ready to give up his life to protect Maria.</p><p>Without turning to look at him, Levi sighs accepting his fate.</p><p>"Thank you."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>The Survey Corps hospital has never been this overwhelmed. It has been a great loss that even Commander Shadis asked of Erwin to replace him as Commander of the Survey Corps. And there was no much he could do but to accept the offer. It wasn't official yet, for that a ceremony needs to be held and Erwin didn't know how to feel about it either.</p><p>Now here he was, in a hospital room of the Survey Corps back inside wall Rose. Besides losing a lot of his men today, Erwin could argue that it was a beautiful afternoon. He wasn't the one injured. In the bed was no other than Levi and next to him was the new recruit, Nicholas Flaherty.</p><p>Outside the walls, many things transpired that made them be in the current injured situation they are now. Erwin knew that a proper punishment must be conducted after they get better from their injuries.</p><p>"Erwin!"</p><p>Elise came bursting through the doors, she also had injuries but nothing serious.</p><p>"Dietrich, what is the matter?" Erwin turns around, a bit of preoccupation in his voice. He had never seen her like this.</p><p>"Titans have breached Shingashina!" Elise tried to stay as calm as possible but seeing Levi hurt and unconscious on a bed wasn't helping either. "They have also broke inside Wall Maria."</p><p>So that's what everyone felt a few moments ago, that temblor. But even so, what could they do? They had no men and they were far away from Wall Maria now.</p><p>"Many of our men, even the house attendants were still inside wall Maria," Elise looks at Levi who seemed to be peacefully sleeping, and that brought her some comfort. "News travel slow here ... The titans must have breached the walls a couple of hours ago."</p><p>"Yes, they are most likely all dead by now," Erwin says. "If they were lucky, maybe they were able to escape the chaos and manage to get inside Trost District as refugees ... But tragically we have no time to talk about them ... I need to talk to Commander Shadis and the other advisors."</p><p>Elise watches Erwin walk away, but she had more questions and stops him midway.</p><p>"What about the injured? What about Levi? When they wake up ... Should we tell them?"</p><p>It only takes Erwin one second to think about the answer. Levi is one to be very careful with things and wouldn't do anything risky unless it was completely necessary. But today he saw another side of him, one who was ready to throw everything away. Risking his life to protect a woman, he didn't know if it was curtesy or just stupidity. But either-or, Erwin didn't know how he would react to the news.</p><p>"No, when he wakes up don't tell him anything," Erwin replies. "If he asks about her, just make up a good excuse."</p><p>With that, Erwin left the room. Leaving a sleeping Levi and Nicholas with her but she only cared about her lover. She saw everything, how Levi jumped in to save the brunette. Not caring about anything else but her protection. And just when he was about to get eaten, Nicholas comes in and saves him.</p><p>How stupid of them but she had to admit ... That she was jealous of Maria. At that moment when Levi saved her and holds her in his arms, the look in his eyes ... She had never seen him like that. Not even in their most intimate moments, she felt like she was losing him already.</p><p>Elise gets closer to Levi and leans in to give his lips a small kiss. When she moves away, he was still sleeping and she was glad that he was. She knew that Levi was going to wake up and start asking questions about his house attendant and if she was completely honest, she didn't what to say to him.</p><p>"Maybe this is the way things are supposed to be," Elise whispers as she takes a seat on the chair next to Levi's bed. "If she's dead ... Would you be sad? Probably ... I hope I can bring you comfort like last time."</p><p>"I've always been here for you Levi," Elise holds Levi's hand dearly. "I think you even know that ... After this, I hope you can see ...."</p><p>Elise couldn't help but wonder, just what was going through Levi's mind. Was he dreaming? It must be a good dream because otherwise, he wouldn't look this peaceful sleeping.</p><p>"That we are meant to be together forever."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N: We are slowly preparing for angst lol. I honestly cut out so many things for this chapter but hopefully I can implement them in the upcoming chapters. In this Chapter we learned more things about Elise! Next will be Nicholas and slowly we are building up Maria's character as well. Now that she has started to heal from her brother's death, her life goals and personality will come more to light! Also a sad and tragic secret about her life that only Nicholas knows about ... What could this be?</p><p>Also, Levi is slowly opening more in the things he wants. He wants to be intimate with Maria but in other ways more than sex and he just have difficulties with expressing himself.</p><p>Now, how will Levi react to the news?</p><p>Slowly we are developing the plot and the relationships of the characters. Do you guys think I am going to slow? It's already 90,000 words lol but I do think everything is necessary for the development of the characters. Most of them have traumas and it's hard work to properly develop them so it can be realistic. There are so many things I want to add, like the perspective of Hange, Petra, Erwin and other characters and how they see the story unfold. </p><p>For this chapter, a part of me didn't feel completely satisfied. Maybe because it was pretty slow, but hopefully I can make it up with the next chapter. </p><p>But in this chapter we are learning more and more! About the house attendants and the real reason why they were brought to the Survey Corps. The story will be getting darker and darker as we progress. In writing, I think my speciality is angst lol, it will take a while to get there but the feelings will be worth it. Especially since I think that a character like Levi is one to learn his lessons through experience.</p><p>Also for the smut scenes, I really want to highlight the difference between sex and loving making. For sex, you just kinda do it but for lovemaking, it's more of an act of consent and making sure your partner is feeling well. I also feel like people tend to romanticize it a lot but sex can be very awkward. A lot of communication is needed and I feel like that's why Maria and Levi's relationship is working good so far because they are willing to communicate their wants and needs when it comes to it.</p><p>I hope I was able to highlight the differences properly, especially with Levi because as I said before, he used to have sex but not really focused on creating an intimate bond with it.</p><p>On the other hand, I love smut and all that stuff but I just don't want my characters to completely bond over that. I do want them to do other intimate things together, and I feel that's why it took me so long to finally have them do 'it'.</p><p>I feel like, when Levi and Maria first met each other, they found themselves to be fairly attractive. Just when you are in the streets and see someone you think is attractive, you don't want to sleep with them but you are attracted to them. And as you spend time with the person, you may develop a desire for them. Not really love, but just a desire. It wasn't love at first sight but I do think it is more believe-able for those romantic feelings to come up later in the relationship.</p><p>I am not an expert on love nor feelings because it varies with the person ... But hopefully, you all can see what I am trying to do with my story!</p><p>This chapter came out early! I am really spoiling you all lol. Well, I am publishing this early because I need to work on something over the weekend (For university and my real job) and I may not have time to upload on the weekend. However, I'll keep on trying to bring you a new chapter each week!</p><p>Thank you so much for following One Last Time, please do comment (It motivates me a lot to keep writing) and let me know what you think of the story so far! Constructive criticism is also accepted!</p><p>SEE YOU ALL NEXT WEEK WITH A NEW CHAPTER &lt;3</p><p>Also I found Levi's song to Maria! It's called: Kokoronashi (Sou ver. Eng) ... I think this songs perfectly fits his feelings for her. Here is the link: </p><p>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akhBW_HIHvg&amp;list=RDakhBW_HIHvg&amp;start_radio=1</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Decision</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Year 839</b>
</p><p>
  <em>"I already fucking told you that I don't need your help!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Too bad I am still going to help you,"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was only a broken leg, but Nicholas found himself being treated like a baby by a brunette. A young woman who's name was Maria, a pretty common name and no original at all. Yes, a few days ago he found her to be the most beautiful woman in existence. Or at least the most beautiful one he has seen in a tavern.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Why are you even helping me? I am a stranger," Nicholas says, he complained like a child. His superior officers must be angry at him for not showing up at work.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Since I was young, I was trained to pleased men," Maria said as she placed some soap on Nicholas' red hair. "I was taught that the only way to be happy was to marry a good man ... So I was taught, to cook, clean and other things to entertain a man ... So, I guess that's why."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Oh, so it's really a custom ... You are not helping because its the right thing to do ... It's because you were taught that helping is what you are supposed and expected to do," Nicholas was good at reading people and the brunette was just like many women he had met before. Pretending to be nice but not out of the goodness of their own heart.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Maybe ..."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Oh, at least she is honest," Nicholas thought.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"But I also like helping people from time to time," the brunette began to massage his hair and although it was a nice act, Nicholas wasn't one of contact.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"But why?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A few seconds passed in which the brunette was quiet as if she was in deep thought. It was a lovely morning and the small house lets in a good amount of sunlight. And even when Nicholas didn't want to admit it, he was enjoying it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"There's not much to do around here if you are a woman," Maria says, "Also ... I think helping people is fun!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He didn't know what about her intrigued him so much. Even after he was healed from his injury, Nicholas would go to her house and see her. Every day after work without no-fail and they had developed a friendship of some sort. They never established it like that, but it was one of those silent mutual understandings.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And Maria appreciated the company and Nicholas liked the food she would make for him. With time, Nicholas learned a lot from Maria. Like the reason why she became a tavern dancer, how she escaped from home and how this has been her fifth year as a saloon girl. He understood her, the reason why she couldn't quit her job. Because what else could she do? She had no education, everyone in Wall Maria knew at this point she was a tavern dancer, meaning that she won't be able to get a proper job. Besides, dancing gave her good money to support herself. He didn't judge her ... He admired her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Why don't you get married?" He asks as he eats his pasta in the small wooden dining table. "Just get a fat-rich man, there's a bunch of those and you don't have to dance anymore."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"And be unhappy for the rest of my life?" Maria asks as she watches him eat the food she made. "I prefer to show my legs to them than to sleep with one of them."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She had a good point, and Nicholas thanked her for the food as he finished eating the past.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Also, don't act stupid, I know," Maria says and at that Nicholas looks at her with an amused look. "You've been having opium, haven't you?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Oh, that was it?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes, some friends at the Garrisons have given me some, do you want to try?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He watched her roll her eyes in annoyance and stand up from the table to remove his plate. "It's addictive and it may bring you trouble."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria walks towards the kitchen and placed the dirty plate in the sink. Nicholas watched her from afar, her every movement. Still, she was as beautiful as the day he first saw her. He couldn't deny that he felt a strong attraction towards her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The tall man walked towards her and placed himself behind her, the act surprised the brunette but she didn't feel uncomfortable.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Are you saying that ... Because you care about me?" he whispers in her ear and a shiver ran down her spine. Slowly she placed back the plate on the sink and she turns around to face him. Both of his arms around her as to stop her from moving away from.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Looking into his bright blue eyes, Maria whispers.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Maybe ... I do care a lot about you,"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nicholas moves closer to her, their lips a few centimeters away. They could feel each other breaths and smell each other's aromas.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"May I?" Nicholas asks and Maria took a few seconds to react but she finally nods. That was everything Nicholas needed to proceed forward.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He connects his lips with hers, it was a gentle kiss. Slow and delicate. Maria felt a million things run through her body but she still enjoyed each one of them as she placed her arms around his neck to bring him closer. She tried to make Nicholas bend a little more because she was getting tired of being in her tippy toes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nicholas didn't think too much of it, he likes the brunette. He knows that much and wouldn't mind spending some time with her in a serious relationship. He was a man that was completely aware of his feelings, he knew that he wanted her and liked her very much.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But he could never predict that he would love her so much.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And seven months were spent like that.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nicholas had moved to live with her two months ago and he had to admit that it was very nice. He liked coming back from work and having Maria waiting for him with the food ready. Sometimes even a bath and some massage.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Their intimacy was also great and not only the sex but they were completely comfortable with each other. At their worst and at their best and Nicholas really picture himself doing this every day. He had been thinking of proposing but at the moment he knew he couldn't. First, he wanted to earn more money so Maria could stop being a tavern dancer. Later, maybe they could even afford to have a kid or two.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>So, he began to work harder. Take more jobs and travel more so their superiors could notice this. Hopefully, the more he works, the more opportunity he has of becoming captain of the Garrisons and finally be able to provide for the brunette.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>How have things changed ... Before he wouldn't care about improving but now ... he couldn't think of anything else. Of becoming the man Maria deserves.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But there was one thing stopping him ... and that was his addiction to opium. He had gotten into a couple of fights with Maria because of it and although she never kicked him out of the house, she would sleep angry at him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And he really has tried to leave it, but the addiction could be too strong sometimes. What he hated the most is that he began to go into debt with an opium dealer and he was getting more aggressive with wanting his money back.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But he never thought it would get to this.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was late at night and he came back from a long trip. He was looking forward to seeing Maria but he started to feel scared the moment he easily opened the door to their house. Maria always kept the door locked and he just had this feeling that something bad had happened.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was dark, only one candlelight illuminated the room.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The moonlight shone through the window, giving enough light for Nicholas to see Maria. She was on the floor, her hair was a mess, covering her naked body with a white blanket.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nicholas closes the door behind him as he approaches her slowly, a million things began to run through his head as his heart race rapidly.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Maria-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"A man came asking for you ... Saying that you owned him money," her voice was quiet and showed no emotion. "He said that he was tired of waiting ... and that one way or another ... He was going to take his payment."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nicholas fell to his knees as he placed himself next to Maria, he tried touching her but his heart broke the moment she moved away from him. "Maria did he-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I tried fighting ... but it was futile at the end ... I put no resistance,"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nicholas began to cry, out of anger, out of despair ... He couldn't protect the person he loved the most. He tried to be a better man for her and he failed miserably.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I put no resistance," this time Maria looks at Nicholas, her eyes red, swollen from the previous crying. "So, why do I feel so dirty?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He wanted to take her pain away, he wanted to kill the bastard and die. Because he knew he couldn't live with this guilt, he couldn't live knowing he harmed the person he loves the most. Nicholas wanted to hold her, bring her warmth in the coldness of the room. But how? How could he even hold her when he was a pathetic piece of shit?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I am sorry ... I am sorry," Nicholas began to repeat the same words, again and again. His words began to distort more as his voice cracked at just the thought of the pain Maria had been through.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Do you think someone like me ... is still worth loving?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her words struck his heart and it made his tears stop suddenly. Looking directly at her, Maria's eyes showed worries and that was something he couldn't allow.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Nothing you do will ever stop me from loving you," Nicholas says as he tried to touch her again, this time her hands. "But how can you love me after what I have put you through?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"As long as you promise me to never leave me again ... I'll love you," Maria felt her hands being held by Nicholas. He brought her a sense of security she loved and she needed it the most at this moment.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Maria ... Marry me," Nicholas held her, as he puts her in his chest. He wanted to hold her and never let go.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Don't ask out of pity, I don't want that-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I am not!" He says loudly, his feelings were a complete mess now. But for the first time, he was sure of something. "I love you! I love you! I love the way you wake up with you messy her! I love the way you smile at me after I come back from work! I love every single thing about you!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I love the way you changed me,"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And here he was. Crying like a child when Maria was supposed to be the one in pain. But it was as if she was comforting him, she was the one telling him that they were going to pull through.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I love you, Maria, I love you ... I love you."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And Nicholas began to whisper those three words throughout the whole night. Maria in his arms, him caressing her hair and both shed tears.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It's going to take a long time for healing and she may never recover. But he didn't care. He was going to live each day of his life making it up to her. </em><br/>
<em>That day, he made a promise to himself ... That he was going to dedicate his whole life to the protection and happiness of Maria. Whether it was with him, whether she realizes that he is a piece of shit and leaves him for another man. He didn't care.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria was his happiness, Maria was his everything.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He would never know how Maria felt at that moment. Nicholas would never know how much strength it took for Maria to move on, to let go of the horrible memory. A part her would never be the same, her eyes didn't shine as bright.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And he only hopes that before he dies, he could see that shine back on her eyes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>To see her utterly and completely happy.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Because he didn't deserve her, Maria was put on his path for one reason.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>For her to change his life completely ... and for him to make her happy.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>No matter the difficulties, no matter the past.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That was Nichola's mission in life.</em>
</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Year 845 </em>
  </b>
  <em>(Present)</em>
</p><p>Levi tried his best to wake up although he was too tired to even open up his eyes. But the screaming coming from next to him wouldn't let him rest. It was Nicholas Flaherty, the one screaming like crazy ... Crazy but he saved his life.</p><p>"Where is she?!"</p><p>"She is back at her dorm, she will be back soon!"</p><p>"You said that hours ago, you are lying!"</p><p>Flaherty seems to be alright, some minors injuries. He was trying to stay up in one leg as the other one was injured. Levi had to give him credit where it's due, he was strong.</p><p>"Elise, where is Maria?"</p><p>This time it was Levi who asked. How long has it been since he fell asleep? He felt pain in his chest and abdomen. Probably due that he was careless why fighting that titan.</p><p>"I don't know," she responds quietly.</p><p>The hospital room was quiet, the light coming from the outside was from the moon and stars. The wind was strong as the window trembled once and once again. Candle lights illuminated the room just good enough and at the moment it was only Nicholas, Elise, and him.</p><p>"Then, why lie? What happened?"</p><p>At that moment, another figure opens up the door. Hange Zoe comes in and was glad to see that Nicholas and Levi had woken up already. But now, here she was ready to deliver some bad news.</p><p>"You two, leave me alone with Levi," Hange says as she walks towards his bed.</p><p>"You are no one to give me orders," Elise wanted to stay and was ready to start a fight with Hange if necessary.</p><p>"Elise, please leave us alone," Levi says in a quiet voice and although the blond woman was hesitant to leave him alone, she really couldn't do anything against his words at the moment. He wasn't asking this on an intimate level but more as her Captain.</p><p>Nicholas was the first one to exit the room, almost dragging Elise out with him. Hange and Levi kept their eyes on them until they left the room. Ater that the scientist looks one time at Levi before taking a seat next to him on the chair.</p><p>"The nurses took off your clothes to put a bandage around your waist," Hange said as she began a to take out something out of her brown jacket's pocket. "They were going to wash it but found this in your jacket's pocket."</p><p>It didn't take Hange more than a few seconds to reveal to Levi what she was holding in her hands. The small pen portrait he had gotten with Maria. It was still intact, the drawing was taped in half just as Levi had done it. He thought it would be good to have the drawing portrait with him in missions like this.</p><p>"Give it back," he says, still trying to get a hold of himself and the situation at hand.</p><p>"First, you need to promise me you will answer my questions," Hange says as she takes another look at the drawing. She was surprised to see that Levi had even done a thing such as getting a portrait of himself with a woman ... A very married thing to do. "And promise you will stay calm with the news I am about to give you."</p><p>"Fine, just give it to me," Levi replied, not wanting to fight at the moment. Hange nods as she places the drawing on the small table next to Levi.</p><p>"First of all ... Are you and Maria in a relationship?"</p><p>Levi hated it when people would get in his business. But how could deny it to Hange? She already saw the small portrait, what was he supposed to use as an excuse?</p><p>"We are not," he says.</p><p>"Don't lie to me, Levi-"</p><p>"We are not a serious couple," Levi interrupted Hange again, a bit angry that she didn't let him finish his sentence properly. "We do what 'couples' do ... but we are not a couple."</p><p>" ... How does that even work?"</p><p>"It's complicated," he responds again as he tried to stand up straight, having a better position to look at the scientist. His abdomen hurt a great deal but it wasn't something he couldn't handle. "Now, you need to tell me ... where is she?"</p><p>"Do you love her?"</p><p>This was the question that Hange has been wanting to ask ever since she saw the drawing. This will define whether or not she tells him about the news.</p><p>And this was something Levi wasn't expecting, he felt uncomfortable with the question, especially because he still didn't know the answer.</p><p>"I don't know," he simply answers and the room went quiet for a few seconds. Seconds in which Levi couldn't help but wonder two things, where is Maria and why is Hange awfully quiet.</p><p>Hange was speechless, and wholeheartedly she didn't know how to react. It was a simple <em>'I don't know'</em> but it wasn't a complete <em>'no'. </em>Whatever he was feeling, Levi was feeling something.</p><p>"Now, tell me ... Where is Maria-"</p><p>"A few hours ago, the titans breached Shingashina and Wall Maria ... Some of our soldiers and house attendants where there" Hange says as she looks away. "There is a small possibility that they might be refugees now in Trost District but ... We believe they are all dead."</p><p>"Where is she-"</p><p>"Maria was in Wall Maria last time we saw her ... She's probably dead,"</p><p>As the words escaped her mouth, there was quiet away. And Hange expected some type of reaction, some words or actions. But nothing, Levi looked as usual. As if nothing had happened.</p><p>"Oh," he simply says.</p><p>At that, Hange felt anger rise within her. Yes, she had asked Levi to stay calm at the news. But she thought that discovering that his lover was dead may probably cause him to have a different type of reaction.</p><p>
  <em>"I'll probably help Captain Levi open up his teashop ... It would be nice to see him happy, wouldn't it?"</em>
</p><p>"Is that the only thing you are going to say?" Hange asks. "You know, she loved you very much ... It wouldn't hurt you to express a little more what you feel."</p><p>"I don't feel anything,"</p><p>Hange stands up, she was ready to scream at Levi for being so insensitive. "How can you feel nothing? Levi, Maria is dead-"</p><p>But the moment she turned around to look at Levi, his eyes showed nothing. Usually, there was some type of emotion, anger most of the time but now ... there was nothing. His eyes showed absolutely no emotion.</p><p>"What is there to feel?" Levi says as he stares into nothing. And it was true, he didn't feel anything. He didn't want to do anything. He just wanted to lay down on his bed again and sleep for long while. He was too tired, maybe when he wakes up he will feel better.</p><p>"Levi ... Maria is dead ... Won't you at least want to look for her body?" Hange gets closer to him, seeing that Levi was still not giving her a proper response.</p><p>"And what for?"</p><p>"Maria ... Is dead," Hange repeated. It seems like a part of him still didn't understand that fact.</p><p>"And what do you want me to do about it?" he responds.</p><p>"Maria is dead," Hange says again.</p><p>"And what?" He asks, rising his voice.</p><p>"Maria is dead,"</p><p>"I don't care,"</p><p>"Maria is dead!"</p><p>"I don't care!" <br/>
    Levi screams, trying to make Hange to stop talking. And with that, Hange finally understood. It wasn't that Levi didn't care, it was that he didn't want to accept it.</p><p>Hange wanted to say more but the moment was interrupted, Nicholas opened up the door. His face showed horror, his eyes began to tremble with fear and tears threaten to come out of his blue eyes.</p><p>"What do you mean she is dead?" Nicholas began to get walk closer to Hange, slowly Elise followed from behind. "Where is she?"</p><p>"Nicholas, it's late at night, you are hurt ... It's dangerous," Hange wanted to console the red-hair as he seems like he could break at any moment.</p><p>"You don't understand, I need to see her! I need to know she is fine!" His voice began to break. Nicholas felt his heartbreak whenever he thought of Maria in danger, the thought of her being dead, and not being able to protect her. And now he even began to wonder if the dream he had earlier on today meant something.</p><p>"Refugees might be in Trost District ... But you can't leave the hospital grounds, the Commander has prohibited injured soldiers to leave," Elise said from behind, trying to make Nicholas enter in reason.</p><p>"I don't care! You can punish me later," Nicholas says, "I am ready to give up everything for her."</p><p>For a second, his attention was drawn towards humanity's strongest soldier. Who reminded as static as ever, just looking at nothing and being quiet. How dared he? Not saying anything? Not trying to do something? He used to be all about protecting Maria and about her safety ... and now? He even thought that something was going on between the Captain and Maria and he wouldn't have cared if it wasn't that he didn't trust Levi at all. How dared did he say he cares about her ... and just stay there and do nothing?</p><p>"And you? Are you going to stay here?" Nicholas got closer to Levi, anger was evident in his eyes. Hange and Elise were afraid that he might start something. "I thought there was something between you two ... And I was thinking of stepping aside ... But looking at you like this ... doing nothing..."</p><p>"What is there to do?" Levi asks and this time he looks at Nicholas.</p><p>"Maybe nothing ... But I'll try, I don't care!" Nicholas gave one last look at Levi, at this moment he felt disgusted looking at him. "If you don't do anything about it ... then maybe you don't love her as much as I do!"</p><p>At that, Hange saw something else in Levi's eyes. She didn't quite understand what it was, but it was sadness and a small hint of disappointment.</p><p>"Maybe you are right," he whispers. "Maybe that's why I can't feel anything."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>
  <em>Levi knew that he was too fast to act upon his feelings. But the moment he saw an abnormal titan approach the carriage Maria was in, he didn't hesitate. It was as if his body moved by itself. He broke formation before telling Eld to take command of his quad.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He should have known better that the house attendants were predominantly used as carnage and a way to distract the titans so the rest could continue their missions. The Survey Corps never cared for injured soldiers, or maybe they did and they were trying their best to keep them alive by bringing the house attendants here to help them recover. But it wasn't the moment to think about that. He only cared about getting to Maria fast, before that titan gets to them and kills everyone in the carriage.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But he was too focused on getting there that he got distracted. As another titan comes from behind at full speed and there were no trees nearby to use his ODM gear, he had to rely on his horse's speed and that wasn't going to work for too long. The titan caught up to him as Levi stood up on his horse's back, ready to attack but a scream coming from Maria's carriage caught him off guard.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The moment he turned around, the titan grabbed him with its gigantic hand. The grip was so strong that Levi felt instant pain. Maybe one of his ribs were injured or something in his abdominal region was broken. Maybe both, at the moment he didn't have time to think.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And as he was about to break free, another figure appears from behind the titan and slays its neck.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nicholas Flaherty.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nicholas was fast but not delicate. As the titan began to fall, the red hair took a moment to take Levi out of the titan's hand. The movement made Levi whine in pain as he felt that something was definitely broken inside of him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Captain, you should be with your squad! I have everything under control here!" Nicholas says as Levi was now safe on the ground, still feeling pain in his abdomen and chest area.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But before he could thank him, Levi looks back at the carriage, a few meters away from him. He noticed the brunette he was looking for, running towards them. Humanity's strongest soldier stood up slowly, thinking how stupid he was to rush in to save her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He was happy to see her. Although he felt a little bit of guilt for making her worry just a few seconds back, he was quietly happy that she was having those feelings for him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And then, into the distance, another titan appears behind Maria. Some more appear near the carriage where the house attendants are. Normally, titans always went where the number of people is higher. Of course, this was the Commander's plan all along. For the house attendants to be a distraction.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But Levi just couldn't stay and do nothing about it. His body was in pain but he had to suppress those feelings to protect not only Maria but the lives of the house attendants. Around 15 titans coming up to them, this shouldn't be much of a challenge to Levi but considering that he is injured, he could never be too careful.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Also, the situation was different ... He never really cared about him dying. But if he dies now he can't protect her...</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And that was something he couldn't allow himself anymore. He can't die, not now. Not as long as she is alive.</em>
</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>"Maria wake up! If you don't you will miss the bread,"</p><p>The brunette recognized Leah's voice almost immediately. She tried to adjust her eyesight as everything was blurry. As if she had been sleeping for a long time.</p><p>"Where are we?" Maria asks as she tries to stand up from the floor. Her memory didn't seem to be there at the moment and just wished to be able to sleep some more.</p><p>"Trost District, we are refugees as of now," Leah replied as she looks down at the brunette. "The titans breached Wall Maria ... We barely came out alive."</p><p>Right, they were inside Wall Maria ... The Survey Corps and the house attendants were allowed to take some evacuations ships due that many of their men were injured and getting inside wall Rose was critical. But the boats were filled up too quickly and the house attendants and some soldiers were asked to stay behind while the other boats arrived. Maria didn't mind waiting, she would have liked to be with Levi and Nicholas but she knew that they were alright. They were just injured and sleeping at that moment. Besides, there was no much she could do, she couldn't disobey orders.</p><p>And so she and everyone else waited around three hours for the other boats to arrive. And when they were already on it, she saw it. A titan, breaking the wall.</p><p>"Have you heard from the Survey Corps?" Maria asked as she tried to stand up on her feet. Her ankle hurt a little but it wasn't anything she couldn't handle.</p><p>"No, they probably think we are dead and I don't blame them," Leah says as she notices that Maria is taking a look around the place. They weren't alone, the building was filled with other refugees as well. "I knew we should have gone with them on the first boats ... We wouldn't be here otherwise."</p><p>"Not like we had much of a choice," the brunette answers and immediately her heart began to break as she watched people crying and children lost. Overall, it was a very heavy atmosphere and she couldn't help but think about her parents. She hasn't seen them in years and wasn't planning on to either ... But her mind still wonders if they are alright during these times.</p><p>"Wait ... Where is Lisa?" Maria suddenly asks.</p><p>"I don't know ... we were in different boats, remember?"</p><p>That was the problem, Maria couldn't remember too much. She was trying very hard but it seems like her mind had blocked some of her memories. Nonetheless, she remembers vividly, people dying. The outside the walls, how beautiful it was ... and how cruel it can be too. Maybe her mind was blocking her memories for that same reason, that she didn't want to remember anything more of what happened outside.</p><p>"Hopefully we find her today ... She may be in another district or a different facility," Leah says quickly, trying to bring comfort to Maria. Some of the house attendants died during the mission, and it wasn't something she wanted Maria to remember at the moment. "Almost everyone is alright ... Don't worry too much about it. Let's get you some bread."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>As Maria and Leah made line to get the bread of the day, they were really taken back by the way people were reacting. But, it was understandable to fight for food, she knew that Wall Rose was already having problems with famine.</p><p>"Nothing more gratifying than seeing the rations go to animals," said a soldier to another, sarcastically.</p><p><em>"Wow, what a jerk," </em>Maria thought as she looks over to the Garrison soldier. But suddenly, her attention was caught by a small boy. He approached the soldier with anger in his eyes and didn't hesitate to hit him on his leg.</p><p>"Ouch! Dammit! You picked the wrong man ass whole!" the soldier hits the kid while the other one delivers a kick to his face.</p><p>The kid falls to the ground and Maria wanted to stop the scene but she felt a hand grab her.</p><p>"Don't get involved Maria," Leah says while the brunette gave her a challenging look.</p><p>"You don't know what is like! You've seen one? Have you seen what they can do?" The brown-haired boy screams and at the remark, the Garrison soldier was about to hit the boy again.</p><p>"You little piece of-"</p><p>"Why don't you try harassing someone of your own size?" Maria interrupts as she steps in between the boy and the soldier. She was angry that no else dared to step in but of course, she didn't expect too much from the people around.</p><p>The blond soldier looks at her surprised but then a comical smile appeared on his face.</p><p>"You are just a woman ... but your face seems quite familiar," the soldier stares into her face and Maria trembled a little. Mostly because at the moment as she saw his face, she also recognized him. "You are that tavern dancer from the Golden Tavern, the one that got shut down! You look better with make up! You are kinda plain looking now but tell me, what are you going to do? Dance for us?"</p><p>"At least my dancing has helped entertain men ... What about you? You are just as useless as the day you arrived at the tavern," said Maria, looking up to the Garrison soldier who was taller than her. "You were so useless around here that you decided to travel to Wall Maria just to see a woman's legs."</p><p>The soldier stood closer to her, wanting to hit her. </p><p>"You are going to hit me now? Do it! I don't have a reputation to keep, and you?"</p><p>At that moment, the blond soldier noticed the whispers and looks he was receiving. Even his other soldier friend was looking at him with worry eyes. The man rolls his eyes and as he walks away he whispers, "You better be careful around here, tavern shit."</p><p>Maria watches him walk away and gave everyone around her a look, to mind their own business. She then turns around to face the little boy who was still in the ground.</p><p>She bends down as her knees touch the ground. Looking at the young boy, she reaches out a hand to touch his cheek that was injured. She didn't put pressure on it, she just wanted to take a better look.</p><p>"You will be fine, but try not to get in any more fights," Maria smiles at him as she notices that a blond boy and a small girl with beautiful black hair approaches them.</p><p>"Are you alright, Eren?" the blond boy asks.</p><p>"Yeah," Eren tries to stand up and Maria does the same. She was glad to see that the boy had two other friends looking out for him. "Thank you, miss."</p><p>"No problem," Maria responds, she looks over to the other two kids. "Have you guys eaten?"</p><p>"Not yet, we are thinking of saving some of the bread ... We only have one each for the rest of the day," the blond boy says.</p><p>Maria's heart broke at the moment. She received flashbacks from the time she watched her brother starve. She just couldn't stand and do nothing when children were starving. But what could she do now? Especially when she just argued with one of the Garrisons.</p><p>"I'll try to get you all some more food, maybe I can-"</p><p>"I already did," Leah interrupts Maria as she carries more bread and some cans of food. "While you were fighting, I took the time to seduce one of the men who work distributing the food ... It will be your turn next time."</p><p>The brunette lets out a small smile, this was a very Leah thing to do. This is why she admired her so much. "You work fast."</p><p>"You know, I do."</p><p>Maria smiles at Leah in gratitude and then, she looks back at the children. Hopefully, she will be able to get some extra food to give to the children in this facility. But for now, the only thing she could focus on was on the three little kids that looked at her with hope in their eyes.</p><p>"Come on children, let's eat something."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>A part of Levi always knew ... That no matter how many promises were made, life could take everything away in an instant. If he was being honest, he thought he was going to feel something. He wanted to feel something. Rage, pain, disappointment ... But he couldn't feel anything, nothing at all.</p><p>
  <em>"You left me here ... Without being able to fully realize my feelings."</em>
</p><p>He thought he was going to look for Maria the moment he heard that there was a small possibility of her being alive. And he wanted to stick to that hope, to a hope that moves him forward. But he couldn't no matter how much he tried.</p><p>Because he knew it was futile, he knew from experience that having hope was painful. Just when he was galloping in his horse in the rain, hoping that Isabel and Furlan were still alive ... Just to find them dead.</p><p>It was just like that moment, but now it was different too. When he saw them dead, he felt furious, miserable, despondent ... But now, he felt nothing.</p><p>Levi was alone in his hospital room. He realizes that the small portrait of Maria and him was on top of the desk next to him. He slowly picks it up and began to appreciate the drawing.</p><p><em>"I wish, I could at least be angry at you ... You promised me you weren't going to die, you idiot."  </em>Levi thought, not separating hie eyes from the portrait.</p><p>But he couldn't stay angry at her, how could he? When she brought him so much happiness? But no matter how much happiness she had given him ... It didn't matter because he couldn't feel that any longer.</p><p>It's better to die, he was just very tired. Maybe death would be like this, a place where he feels nothing. If he feels the same when he is alive, then it doesn't matter if he dies, right?</p><p>
  <em>"Promise me that you won't be afraid to experience love,"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Enjoy every day as if it was your one last time."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I only wish for your happiness,"</em>
</p><p>Flashbacks of her came running through his mind. Of her eyes, her smiles, her gestures. Levi lets out a sigh as he finally began to feel something. He feels his heart beating fast against his chest, his hands began to tremble as his heart began to be filled with a new desire, a new motive.</p><p>
  <em>"That's right, I can't die ... If I die ... I won't be able to remember you, I won't be able to keep my promises to you."</em>
</p><p>Levi tries to stand up from his bed, still a little bit hurt but he didn't care about the pain at the moment. How stupid could he be? How selfish of him ... Wanting to die when Maria gave him all the reasons to keep on living.</p><p>
  <em>"Fuck everything, my feelings, the world, everything ... I am tired of being afraid of getting hurt."</em>
</p><p>Maria only wished for his happiness, only wanted the best for him. For him to always have a string of hope, to never give up on his dreams and happiness.</p><p>And this feeling of hope, it didn't matter if it was short-lived. Because he preferred to feel hope and pain than to feel nothing at all.</p><p>
  <em>"You want me to be happy right? To live every day as if it was my one last time."</em>
</p><p>He looks around the room to try and find his clothes. He was now standing up and he didn't believe he had this much strength in him still.</p><p>Is this what Nicholas meant when he told him that Maria had changed him? Is this why he couldn't let her go? Because being able to be with her for one second was worth a lifetime of suffering.</p><p>
  <em>"If there is hope that you are alive ... I'll hold into it! For you and for me! Because, Maria ... You are my happiness!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>She couldn't stop think about Levi and Nicholas but she had the hope that they must be safe and awake by now in a hospital room. At the moment, it seemed impossible for anyone to leave the refugee facility. Apparently, the government couldn't let the refugees inside Wall Rose. It was understandable because a large increase in the population would mean fewer resources for the rest of the civilians.</p><p>Maria couldn't help but wonder what will the government do to tackle down the issue.</p><p>"Miss Maria,"</p><p>The voice made Maria open her eyes and as she turns around, she finds Mikasa. After spending some time with the kids, she learned their names. Mikasa, the small girl with black hair with a red scarf. Armin, the smart blond boy. And Eren, brown hair with beautiful blue eyes.</p><p>It was late at night and only a few candles illuminated the room along with the moonlight that came across the windows. Maria laid on a blanket next to Leah and the kids where to her other side. They weren't alone, many people shared the big room with them.</p><p>"Yes?" Maria asks as she notices that Mikasa seemed to be hesitant about something, even embarrassed.</p><p>"I am bleeding," the little girl says as she looks away.</p><p>"What? Where-" At that moment, Maria notices small drops of blood underneath Mikasa. At that, Maria sighs, she knew what was happening and tried her best to calm the girl. "I see ... Come with me to the restroom."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>"Remember to change the clothing in your underwear every two hours at least," Maria said as she walks back with Mikasa, holding her tiny hand. "I'll give you as many pieces of clothing as I can ... but if you can, it will be good to wash them to reuse them ... Although it's going to be a bit complicated."</p><p>"My stomach hurts," Mikasa says quietly.</p><p>"It's normal, the hurting will eventually stop in a couple of days," Maria looks around the facility. Some of the Garrisons were looking at them, refugees weren't supposed to stay out of their rooms this late.</p><p>"You are very strong Mikasa," Maria continued as she tried to change the mood between them. "The first time I had my period, I cried so much ... I was so scared hehe."</p><p>"Why ... Do I have to bleed?" Mikasa was filled with questions. It was normal for a girl to have them after having their first period.</p><p>"Well, it happens to every woman ... It occurs so we can have babies later on," Maria responds.</p><p>"Where do babies come from?" Mikasa asks as she took the time to look at the brunette. "I asked my parents before but ... They never got to tell me."</p><p>The house attendant could tell by her black eyes that Mikasa has been through hell. She wished she could bring some comfort to the little girl, even if it was just answering her questions. It made her a bit uncomfortable but she will try her best.</p><p>"Well, you see ... When a man and a woman fall in love, they get married, right?" Maria looks down at Mikasa who nods as they walk through the corridors of the facility. "On their wedding night, when they are alone they um ... Make love."</p><p>"Make love?"</p><p>"It's an act of affection ... To show how much you love a person," Maria tries her very best to stay factual but it was really hard to explain this kind of thing to a kid. "And when the love for each other is very big, a baby is placed on the woman's tummy."</p><p>"Oh," Mikasa responds and Maria was happy that she seems to be satisfied with her horrible answer. "Miss Maria, if you ever have a baby can I take care of it?"</p><p>"Sure you can help me," Maria let out a small giggle. "But first I need to find a husband, don't you think?"</p><p>"If I find you a husband, will you have a baby with him?" Mikasa asks again.</p><p>Maria smiled a bit, the innocence of children was something that warmed her heart. Even if their happiness was short-lived, she didn't care to bring in a bit of happiness to the children. They have arrived back at the dorms where a not so soft blanket awaited for them on the floor.</p><p>"Hehe, yeah sure," Maria says.</p><p>"Ok."</p><p>And for the first time in a while, Mikasa was looking forward to the future.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>On the second day, things seemed to be getting better. At least for Maria, Leah, some house attendants, and the few injured Survey Corps members that made it out safely. Maria and Leah made their ways with seducing some of the men around, of course with the motivate of getting more food for the kids and the injured soldiers. It wasn't something honorable to do, but at this point, they needed to do anything they could and prevent the children from starving. It didn't bother much the house attendants either, it was as if they were doing their tavern dancing job, except that instead of money, it was food.</p><p>During the day, Maria would tend to the wounds and injuries of soldiers and some people that sought her help. She was no nurse, but Maria's mother taught her all the qualities of being a good wife. That included the basics of healing and medicine, how to wrap and change a bandage, and the best type of foods to heal the body quickly. She had to admit that she was thankful for that knowledge now.</p><p>Maria and Leah also dedicated a lot of their time gathering lost children. They tried to find their parents or families and if they had no one, they will invite the kids to stay close to them.</p><p>It was a cruel world, and Maria knew better than anyone than some soldiers were just perverted in that way. She preferred to be close to the children during the night just in case anyone had wrong intentions.</p><p>It was night time again, and Maria was on the floor on top of a blanket. She was trying her best to get some sleep but her mind was filled with memories of Levi.</p><p>How was he? Was he worrying about her? Was he still injured? And Nicholas? Was he doing alright too? But there wasn't much she could do at the moment. Not even sending letters were allowed, the Garrisons were keeping them here and no one knew for how long.</p><p>Wow, it's only been two days but ... She really misses him. Deeply.</p><p>The brunette was finally numb at the thought of her last moments with Levi. She lets out a heavy sigh and suddenly, she feels a strong hand in her mouth. Opening her eyes quickly, she notices a figure on top of her. She wanted to scream but it was impossible.</p><p>"Shh! It's me! Nicholas!"</p><p>Wait a moment, she recognized that voice. Maria stops screaming as her eyes adjusted to the light. It was him, with his red hair, blue eyes, and a bright smile. Nicholas felt so relieved to see her alive that he didn't take a second to embrace her. Feeling her heartbeat against his, he was convinced that this wasn't a dream. The brunette hugs him back with the same force, happy to see that he was here next to her. But also surprised to see him.</p><p>"What are you doing here?" Maria whispers as she tries not to wake up the children next to her.</p><p>"I came to look for you! Everyone at the Survey Corps thinks the house attendants are dead!" Nicholas said, still holding into her arms. "Hange said that if anyone is alive, they would be refugees at Trost District ... Those fuckers at the Survey Corps, they won't even bother sending someone to see if their people are still alive."</p><p>"I don't blame them, I am surprised we even survived the titans breaching Wall Maria," she says. "It is logical to think that we died."</p><p>Her mind drove off to Levi again ... Did he think that she was dead too?</p><p>"Besides, we are a few who made it ... I still don't know about Lisa ... She was in a different evacuation boat and I don't know in what facility she was put on," A part inside Maria, didn't want to admit that there was a chance of Lisa not making it out of Wall Maria. But she most likely did. After all, people who were placed in an evacuation boat made it out alive.</p><p>"But, how did you even get in? They don't let anyone out nor in of the facility," Maria asks as she begins to stand up. She didn't want to wake up the children and it will be better to talk outside.</p><p>"Did you forget that I used to work for the Garrisons?" Nicholas walks next to Maria as she decided to go out of the dorms. "I still have some friends around here."</p><p>"I am glad," Maria was hesitant to ask, but she really wanted to know about Levi's well being. It was quiet as they walk around the corridors of the refugee facility.</p><p>"He is fine by the way," Nicholas says as if he was reading Maria's thoughts. "Captain Levi I mean ... He is alright but ..."</p><p>"But?"</p><p>The red hair was in a strange position. He knew that something was going on between Levi and Maria. He didn't know what exactly it was but he was sure that Maria deeply cares for the Captain. Nicholas didn't know if he should tell Maria about Levi's lack of interest in looking for her. Would that hurt her?</p><p>"Nothing, he is fine and resting ... But you will see him soon! Tomorrow morning we are leaving!" Nicholas tried to change the topic and it worked.</p><p>"... I don't want to leave," she whispers.</p><p>"What?" Nicholas comes into a sudden stop as he takes the time to face the brunette. "Maria you can't stay ... This place is dangerous! You can't live like this either!"</p><p>"The children ... They need me," Maria whispers, she was a bit scared of his reaction but she wasn't planning on backing away either.</p><p>"You can't save all of them and you know that," the soldier began to panic. He knew he was being cruel but her safety and well being came first to him. "You are coming with me tomorrow whether you want it or not! Leah can come as well and then we can figure out a way to take out the rest of the house attendants-"</p><p>"No," Maria looks down to the floor as she steps away from him.</p><p>"Maria, please-"</p><p>"All my life ... ever since I was little ... I was raised to believe that a woman exists only to please men," she looks up at him. "You know before I wouldn't have hesitated to go with you."</p><p>"But now for the first time, I want to do something to please myself and nobody else!" Maria looks at Nicholas, who was surprised beyond belief. "These people, the children ... They need me! And I'll stay here to help them because that's what I want to do."</p><p>Maybe Nicholas was too invested in protecting her, that he didn't realize that she didn't need protection anymore. She had become so strong and although he was still a bit hesitant about letting her stay at a place like this, he couldn't do anything.</p><p>"Is this really what you want? Would it make you happy?" he asks as he softly grabs her hands.</p><p>The brunette nods and although the answer broke his heart a little, he was happy to comply with her.</p><p>"I guess I didn't realize ... That you don't need my protection anymore ... You have become strong," Nicholas smiles nostalgically and Maria looks at him on his eyes.</p><p>"That's not what I meant ... I appreciate you being on my life again ... and I want you to stay," she smiles at him softly as she caresses his strong face. "But it's time I start living my life again ... for me."</p><p>He had mixed feelings that could mean many things and it did. Maria was moving on from her past trauma, her pain, and mourning. It was great and Nicholas couldn't be happier for her ... But he felt like he had failed her because he missed all of that process. He had promised her that he was going to stay with her forever and he still felt guilty about it all.</p><p>"If only ... If only I had listened to you ... You wouldn't have-"</p><p>"That was four years ago ... It's hard to forget something like that but ..." Maria makes a pause, getting the courage she needed. "He took so many things away from me ... my dignity, my mental health ... I won't let him take away my life too."</p><p>Nicholas embraces her, taking everything in. It had been so long since he has seen Maria like this, and he missed her. Although his guilt could never go away, he felt relieved that Maria was finally starting to feel happy again.</p><p>"Fine, I'll support you ... I'll try my best to convince some of my friends to give you more food so you can give it to the children," Nicholas says as he kisses her forehead. "You also own me a date."</p><p>"Oh yes, I remember ... A friendly hang out," Maria teases as she pulls away from him. "Right now it's not the time to talk about that but ... We need to talk later ... about you know."</p><p>"Yes, a friendly hang out," Nicholas looks around the corridors, just to make sure no one was watching them. "And don't worry too much ... I think I know."</p><p>Maria really enjoyed these types of moments. When they could tell what the other was thinking by just looking at each other. It took them a long time to get to where they were and although not everything was the way it used to be, it was nice that their intimacy was still there.</p><p>In their moment, little did they know that small children were watching them interact.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>One day passed, Maria, Leah, and the children were waiting in line for their daily bread. The little boy Armin had gotten a liking to Maria and he would even tell her about the outside world. About how there was something called the 'sea' and how the water was really salty. Mountains of sand and snow ... Everything seemed very unrealistic to Maria but she was happy to believe his ideas. Deep down she wished she had that same desire to see the outside just like Armin. The blond boy was smart and he would even teach Maria more about reading and writing. He was holding Maria's left hand while Mikasa was holding her right hand.</p><p>Mikasa was quiet and mature for her age, but Maria was very fond of the girl. When they would talk, it was like talking to a small adult. But of course, she was still a child and had her way with questions.</p><p>Eren, on the other hand, was a bit more distant, which was completely understandable. He was very fast into acting on his feelings. Eren would sometimes fight with other boys who would pick on Armin and although that was nice of him, fighting wasn't always the answer. Especially because he wasn't strong enough yet.</p><p>Finally, it was their turn to get their bread. The brunette stood in front of the kids as she noticed that the one distributing the bread this time was the same soldier who punched Eren.</p><p>"I am sorry, we are out of bread," he says sarcastically. That was a lie, Maria moved her head a little and noticed that behind him was a blanket on the floor, hundreds of small loads of bread on top of it.</p><p>"If you still have a grudge against me, that's fine," Maria says as she looks up at the blond Garrison soldier. "But don't punish the kids ... Give them their piece of bread, please."</p><p>"Well, I could but with one condition," he says, as he leans in closer to whisper to her ear. "If you open up your legs for me, I might be generous and give the children their fair share of bread."</p><p>In all honesty, she was expecting something like that. It was just a matter of time before he would show his true colors. She thanked that Nicholas was helping heal the other soldiers at the moment because he wouldn't doubt getting into a fight with the soldier. That would just complicate things for her.</p><p>Good thing that Maria and Leah gathered some extra supplies yesterday. That should be enough to feed the children today. And tomorrow they could get bread when they switch the soldier of food distribution.</p><p>"I am sorry, I am into real men ... Not beasts like yourself," with that said, Maria turns around giving her back to the soldier. But suddenly, she feels her hair being aggressively grabbed from behind.</p><p>The act made her flinch in pain as she let go of the children's hand.</p><p>"I am fucking tired of you," the Garrison soldiers says as he makes Maria turn around to face him. He slaps her and then throws hers on the ground. Armin and Mikasa run to be next to her but Maria watches as the man grabs Mikasa from by the arm.</p><p>"I know that no matter how hard I hit you, you won't understand!" he says, not caring that people were staring at him. "So, instead of teaching you respect, I'll teach it to your precious daughter!"</p><p>
  <em>"Live for yourself a little,"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Levi and Maria had finished another one of their self-defense training lessons. It was a nice memory, the grass, the wind, Maria caressing Levi's hair as he rested on her lap.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"To fight properly, you need a reason to fight," Levi says. "You need a purpose, a reason to keep on living ... That's how you will improve your skills."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"And if I don't have a purpose?" the brunette keeps caressing his hair, playing with each strand of hair.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Make one ... you please people too much, not because you want to," Levi knew that his words were not delicate but it was just what she needed to know. "But because I think it's implemented on you since you were small ... An instinct even."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria was quiet, and she seemed to be paying attention to his words. Levi opens up his eyes and he loves what he sees. Maria's face, the sunshine against her hair, making her look angelic and her caramel eyes shone with an innocence and purity Levi had never seen before.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Don't live to please other people ... Live for yourself, fight like you have something to live for, not for anyone ... but you."</em>
</p><p>"You call yourself a man but you molest children?" Maria stands up from the floor, her ankle hurting a little but she didn't care at the moment. "You are no man, nor even a beast ... You are just a piece of shit!"</p><p>The soldier was infuriated, as he lets go of Mikasa. The little girl runs away and stays besides Armin. They were watching the scene unfold in front of them, scared to act up.</p><p>"You fucking whore!" the blond walks in front of her, his eyes threatening to harm her. "You know, I think it will be better if I get rid of you for good! Another mouth we don't have to feed!"</p><p>"I am not scared of you!" Maria says and at each word said, Leah just stood there, surprised at her friend's actions. "If you are going to do it, then hurry up!"</p><p>The Garrison soldier gets closer to her, fury filled his eyes and he was ready to deliver a punch at her face, "You fucking piece of shit-"</p><p>"Just what the fuck do you think you are doing?"</p><p>The Garrison soldier immediately stops as he feels a strong hand on his shoulder. The grip was so strong on him, that he felt like the man behind him could break his shoulder at any second.</p><p>Maria's heart stops as she realizes who it was, black hair, strong face, cold and beautiful blue eyes.</p><p>"Captain Levi?" the blond soldier turns around as he notices Levi's piercing stare on him. If looks could kill, he would be long dead. "I am sorry sir, but this is out of your jurisdiction ... So, stay out of this."</p><p>Levi loses his grip on the man and instead he gets closer to him.</p><p>"She is within my jurisdiction, I was sent here in the name of the Survey Corps Commander," Levi says. "She is a house attendant, legally all house attendants are property of the Survey Corps."</p><p>Maria's legs trembled a little, she had never seen Levi like that and if she was completely honest, she was even scared at the moment. But not of him, but of what may happen.</p><p>"And last time I checked I was the Captain of the Survey Corps," Levi kept intimidating the man as he suddenly grabs him by his jacket's collar making him bend down to his knees. "Meaning that she is mine ... Do you have any idea what happened to the last guy who touched what is mine?</p><p>There was a pause in which Levi took a moment to look at the soldier's face, he was terrified. Good.</p><p>"I sent him to the hospital, almost dead ... So, I recommend you, that if you don't want to end up like that, step out of my way before I run out of patience."</p><p>The Garrison soldier nods as Levi lets him go. Levi quickly leaves the scene. He turns around to face the people around them, giving them a cold look. They all went back to their own business but the children not so much.</p><p>Eren was looking at him like a hero. Mikasa and Armin were surprised and the other kids with Leah smiled at him. In their eyes, he was a complete hero too.</p><p>"You seem to always have great timing for these kinds of things," Maria says as she approaches him. "It's strange, isn't it? How you-"</p><p>"You idiot," Levi interrupts her as he watches Maria stand in front of him. "You absolute idiot."</p><p>His words took her by surprise. Although she wasn't offended, it was a bit strange for him to be calling her that. She expected a <em>'hey, how are you?</em>' but once again this was Levi who we are talking about.</p><p>"Do you have any idea how I felt?" Levi looks away this time, it angered him to a certain extent that she seemed to be happy as usual, unaware of his feelings. "Do you have any fucking idea how I felt when Hange told be that the titans breached Wall Maria? How I felt when she told me you were probably dead?"</p><p>"Um ... I am sorry?" Maria tries her best to lift his mood but she wasn't good at it at the moment.</p><p>"You better be!" Levi raises his voice, he didn't want to intimidate her but he felt so powerless and he hated that feeling. "Look at you! You look like you haven't showered in days!"</p><p>"I haven't,"</p><p>"And your face, that fucking bastard left a mark!"</p><p>"It will go away in a day-"</p><p>Levi suddenly turns around, showing her his back. He was done with her, with her pretending that everything was fine when it wasn't. Well, she seemed to be fine ... But he wasn't. Did she have any idea what she made him go through? Days of anxiety and panic? Well, they were only three days but it felt like an eternity to him.</p><p>"That's not the problem!"Levi felt he was speaking a different language because at the moment he couldn't find the words to express himself. Why was it so difficult for him ... To say what he feels?</p><p>"Then, what is it?" Maria knew that Levi was hiding something. She was trying her best to figure him out, was he worried about her? That was understandable but she felt like he still hiding something.</p><p>"I am supposed to protect you and failed you," Levi says as he still is giving his back at Maria. The brunette couldn't help but feel sad at his distance.</p><p>"You also promised me to never leave me ... And when I thought you died ... How do you think I felt?"</p><p>Maybe she was starting to understand him, little by little. He wasn't good with words, at least not when it came to expressing his feelings. He was scared, terrified to lose the people he cares about. It will take a long time before he starts to open up. And the only thing she could hope for was for him to allow her to stay with him that long.</p><p>The brunette closes their distance as she embraces Levi from behind. When they came into contact, Levi flinched at her touch. Her soft hands on his chest, feeling his racing heartbeat. She had never felt it beat this fast. It made her happy to know he was well.</p><p>For Levi, he felt numb, her touch ... He felt relieved. So relieved that she was safe ... He even felt like closing his eyes and falling asleep at that moment, just her embracing him.</p><p>"I missed you too," Maria whispers on his ear and the short man felt an instant shiver run down his spine. He turns around rapidly, looking at her caramel eyes. He wanted to kiss her, to hug her and never let go of her</p><p>The brunette felt nervous as she felt his strong gaze on her. She looks away in embarrassment, wondering why Levi was staring at her with such intensity.</p><p>"Oh! I am sorry! I smell bad, right?" Maria moves away almost immediately, her embarrassment at the moment was unmeasurable. "It's just hard to shower these days you know-"</p><p>She wanted to take a few steps back but Levi grabs her hand, pulling her closer to him. He looks at her teasingly. "When it comes to you I don't mind, I just want to be close to you."</p><p>Levi gives her a smirk, liking how he could still easily make her blush. "But you still need to take a bath when we go home ... Maybe we could take one together?"</p><p>Maria didn't know what was she supposed to be more embarrassed about. Levi's words or the fact that he was still holding into her hand so delicately, so softly. Didn't he know that people were watching them? The kids?</p><p>And now she didn't know what to do, she wanted to go to the kids and make sure that they were fine. But she also didn't want to drag Levi with her. She tried to remove her hand from his but Levi took it the wrong way. He intertwines his fingers with hers, thinking that she wanted a better hold of his hand.</p><p>"Um ... Levi, I don't think we should-" she stumbled with her words as she looks away, she noticed the children looking at them confused. "I don't think ... I don't think we should show affection in public."</p><p>"Uh? Why not?" He thought that Maria was one to enjoy actions like this, since she just hugged him a few moments ago and a part of him felt stupid for now asking her first if his actions were alright with her.</p><p>"Because ... Because-" she was nervous. It wasn't that she didn't enjoy it, she was alright when she was the one to start interaction. But it always surprised her when Levi was the one to start it, especially in public.</p><p>"Hey kids, I brought your breakfast!" Nicholas interrupted her words. He had a box full of food cans, bread, and other things. It seems like he was successful in convincing his friends to give him more supplies for the kids.</p><p>The children surrounded him as they cheered, making a circle around him. It had only been a day since they met him, but Nicholas had always been good with kids.</p><p>"Look, Nicholas brought food for the kids, let's help him out," Maria lets go of Levi's hand and he frowns in disappointment. He watches her walk away as she waves at the red-haired man. Not matter what he does, it seems like Nicholas was a step ahead of him, always.</p><p>Suddenly, he notices a young girl with black hair staring at him.</p><p>"What is wrong with you brat?" Levi asks as he felt that the girl was staring at him for a long time. </p><p>"Are you Miss Maria's husband?" she asks without any emotion in her voice. Strange enough, she kinda reminded him of himself when he was around her age.</p><p>"Depends ... Why are you asking?" He would have probably just answered <em>'yes'</em>. At this point, he thought it would be better for everyone to think that they were married. That way they would think twice about showing her some respect. She already deserved it. But it wouldn't be bad either for everyone to know that if they mess with her, he will for sure kick their ass.</p><p>"A day ago, I saw Mr. Nicholas kiss Miss Maria," the girl with a red scarf said. She didn't want to intrude, she was just utterly curious.</p><p>Levi must have been going mad, did he just hear what he just heard? Maria and Nicholas kissing? He began to feel anger rise within him, he was having a good morning and now this bullshit happens. And even if they kissed, what can he say? What right had he over her? And the thought that Maria and Nicholas could be in a relationship haunted his mind. He was still angry that Nicholas kissed Maria the day of the expedition ... But what if she wanted to kiss him too?</p><p>"What did you see?" He asks as he looks over to the couple. Nicholas was unaware of his presence as he was too occupied with holding a box of supplies. Maria meanwhile was passing out the food to the kids. They really looked perfect together, like a family. A perfect married couple taking care of their children. He never imagined him being like that and in all honesty, he never thought he wanted something like that. But looking at them, just being perfect. Together? ... It made him want just that. Just a life with her.</p><p>Mikasa notices the sudden change in mood as she decided to answer his question. "Mr. Nicholas kissed her on her fore-"</p><p>"Oi! Levi!" Hanji interrupted the words of the little girl and Levi cursed underneath his breath. "You left me behind on the carriage! You are fast!"</p><p>Seeing that the short man was distracted now, Mikasa decided to take her to leave. It was better  to not get involved. Anyways she needed to get food.</p><p>"Damn shitty glasses, I was busy!" Levi says as he looks at the scientist. Now he won't get answers and he is going to think all day about what the little girl said to him. "What do you want now?"</p><p>"Oh, aren't we angry? Remember that we are here to follow the orders of Commander Shadis," Hanji says, noticing that Levi was angrier than usual and that was saying something. "You know its weird ... But I must say, that it's strange to see you this angry."</p><p>"What are you talking about? Aren't I always angry?" Levi turns back around to face the brunette and the red-haired man.</p><p>"You are but these pasts weeks, your mood has changed considerably ... You looked to be doing a little better," Hange notices what Levi was looking at, Maria and Nicolas surrounded by children. "Your squad gets late for training? You don't punish them anymore. Things aren't clean? You don't get as angry. You even look more rested ... And I think I know the reason why."</p><p>The scientist looks over at the couple and she had to admit they indeed look nice together. She still didn't know what type of 'relationship' Levi had with Maria but she knew the brunette was good for him. But was Levi good for Maria?</p><p>"They make quite a lovely couple don't you think?" Hange teases Levi as to try and get a response from him. "I even feel bad at how tragically they separated ... If it weren't for those circumstances, Maria and Nicholas would probably be married and maybe even have kids."</p><p>Her words were speaking the truth. And to him, it even felt wrong to feel somewhat happy about the misfortune of Nicholas and Maria's relationship. If things hadn't gone bad for them, then he would have never met her.</p><p>It even surprised him, just how selfish he could be. Shouldn't he want the best for Maria? Didn't he want her happiness? And that was the problem.</p><p>"You would probably never met her and we wouldn't be here either," Hange notices that Levi was on his last strand of patience.</p><p>The problem was his feelings. That they would become too strong, too pure. Before, he wanted her for himself, not caring about what benefited Maria the most. Levi wanted Maria to stay with him regardless if she ended up hurt or not.</p><p>But now?</p><p>He couldn't think like that.</p><p>"But here we are aren't we? It must mean something," Hange looks over to Levi and expected some type of jealousy but instead, she noticed a new feeling. A feeling she had never seen before in him.</p><p>"Just tell me what are you trying to say already."</p><p>Hange lets out a heavy sigh, "What I am trying to say is that you are letting go of your opportunity at happiness ... You won't be the perfect match for her ... But I don't think she cares about that."</p><p>Meanwhile, Maria and Nicholas could feel the heavy gaze at them. They had finished distributing food to the kids and now they were just entertaining them and talking to them while helping open up their cans of food but they couldn't do much until Leah comes back with a can opener.</p><p>"They are looking at us," Nicholas says as he gets closer to Maria, whispering in her ear. "And Captain Levi doesn't look too happy."</p><p>"He probably needs to talk to us and he is becoming impatient," Maria replies, her voice low but loud enough only for him to hear.</p><p>"Then we better hurry up, we don't want him to get angry," After saying that, Nicholas leans in closer to her ear again and whispered. "We know that Captain Levi's patience is shorter than his height."</p><p>Maria knew better than to not laugh ... But wow ... did she find herself having a difficult time not laughing? And what it was worst was that the more she tried not to, the more she wanted to let out a giggle.</p><p>And then, Levi heard it. The sound of her laugh blessing his ears. It was pure, it was the sweetest type of melody to him. And he found himself wanting to hear more of that.</p><p>Levi realized that he had never heard her laugh like that before and what made him angry was that it wasn't him the reason she was like that.</p><p>And what pained him the most ... was that he wanted to see her like that. Just like that, to see her laugh and be happy ... even if it wasn't with him.</p><p>In what moment did her happiness become everything to him?</p><p>And a part of Levi didn't want this. He wanted things to go the way it was before. The times when he would look at Maria with only lust in his eyes. When he only wanted her body and not her soul. He wanted to go back to being selfish, to being a bastard who didn't want to get attached to anyone. To the time where he was unhappy and unsure of things ... To the time he didn't feel happiness at all.</p><p>But she happened.</p><p>With her ridiculous laugh, with the way she would smile at him in the mornings although he could only be annoyed at her. With the way she cared about him when he didn't give a damn about her well being. Her impatience of wanting to learn how to read and write, to the way she would cover him with a blanket when he falls asleep on the dining table. To the way she would clean his boots even when she thought he wasn't watching.</p><p>She changed him, she modeled him to her desire.</p><p>How foolish he was ... To ever think that he ever had control over his feelings for her.</p><p>And as he heard her laugh, as he sees hers wipe away her tears of joy with another man ... He began to realize that he could no longer stop his feelings. The feelings that made him want to protect her, to take care of her, the ones that only wished her happiness at whatever the cost.</p><p>Even his pain, even the misery of watching her being happy with another man.</p><p>Because to him ... Nothing was more important than seeing her happy.</p><p>And Levi just knew that Maria was made for him ... But he wasn't made for Maria.</p><p>This must be his punishment, this must be what hell feels like. Because there was no doubt in his heart that there was nothing more painful than this. Seeing the woman he cares for being utterly happy with another man that wasn't him.</p><p>And he was terrified ... That the moment to let her go would come soon.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>.......<br/>Before we start let's take a minute of silence for the fallen heroes on Attack on Titan Chapter 132<br/>......<br/>A/N: In today's chapter we have learned something new about Maria. The world can be very cruel, especially in the AOT universe. She is slowly developing, but I think she had a great start by standing up to herself and starting to live for herself.</p><p>Maria was raised to believe that a woman's only purpose was to please a man and just be there for them. Her whole life and even her job as a tavern dancer was surrounded by that whole idea. She left home at a young age because she was forced into a marriage. She became a tavern dancer to give a better life to her brother and even gives her everything to Levi, a man who may not reciprocate her feelings (But being with Levi makes her happy at least.)</p><p>Nonetheless, being with Levi is starting to change her. In chapter four, we can see that she hesitated at first to be with Levi because of Petra. Showcasing that she was living to please others and not herself. Also her trauma played a role on this.</p><p>But as her feelings became stronger for Levi, she decided to be with him because she wanted. This is important because I believe this was the first decision she made based on her wants. She took a decision that was going to make her happy.</p><p>And the more time she spent with Levi, the more she realized she wanted to live for herself.</p><p>I think that with her traumatizing experience, the man she loved leaving her and her brother (her only family) dying ... I think she made good progress.</p><p>Now, you can also see why Nicholas is so attached to Maria. He loves her deeply, but he also has a great sense of guilt. He feels responsible for what happened to Maria and it hunts him to this day. That's why he is overprotective of her and won't just let anyone get near her. He admires Levi but he believes that Levi is not good for her.</p><p>Nicholas truly only wants Maria's happiness.</p><p>Now Levi ... I believe that he is finally starting to realize his feelings. And he is TERRIFIED of them. Like I said in the story, he never felt love before so he doesn't know what it feels. He has always been possessive and selfish and tragically he is only being in toxic relationships.</p><p>But with Maria, he is starting to realize that just like Nicholas, he wants the best for her and wants to see her happy. Even if it hurts him to see her with some else.</p><p>Just like Hange said ... Maria is perfect for Levi ... But is Levi good for Maria?</p><p>Levi is starting to realize this and is scared that he might not be good for her, therefore his feelings would force him to leave her.</p><p>So, we are going to see Levi being more distant with Maria, a little bit cold even because he knows that the moment he falls in love with her, he is going to have to let go of her. Because he is not good for her.</p><p>And at the moment, he is actually not good for Maria. This is where Levi's development is coming into place but we will slowly get there.</p><p>We are here for the long ride, I was thinking that this fic would probably be around 150K-200K words for the first book lol (So we are halfway there). Yes, I have made plans of making three books out of this. But it all really depends if this is well accepted and liked by others lol.</p><p>(I have two endings for this book, but I'll see which one is more fitted the closer we get to the ending.)</p><p>Thank you so much for reading, the comments, and likes! I enjoy reading comments so much and they really motivate me! Whether it's for criticism or for praise, I love to read them both!<br/>There wasn't much of romance on this chapter, but we will get back on it next week. Again, thank you and see you next week!</p><p>Next week previous....<br/>-Levi and Nicholas have a serious talk<br/>-Nicholas and Maria go on a date.<br/>-Erwin ceremony to officially become Commander of the Survey Corps<br/>-Levi becomes distant, Maria notices and talks to him.<br/>-Elise is planing something.<br/>-A passionate moment? 👀</p><p>Ps. Here is some Maria and Levi fanart! Finally, Maria's face reveal. This is based on the pen drawing/portrait Levi and Maria did together in Chapter 3! The small paper portrait Levi is always carrying with him.</p><p> Here is the embedded link: </p><p>  <a href="https://humanitys-strongest-soldier25.tumblr.com/post/628464335302344705/one-last-time-artwork-for-my-levi-x-oc-fanfiction">One Last Time Art Work</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Amends</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hange knew that words had some kind of impact on Levi. A strange aura surrounded him as a tragedy had just happened. Something she wasn't aware of and did not know about. She wanted to stop him but he was fast and seemed like he wanted to talk to no one. He walks away, getting himself confused within the crowd.</p><p>"Where is he going?" Maria interrupts Hange's thoughts as he watches Levi walk away in silence.</p><p>"He is probably going back to the carriage," Hange says as she turns around to face the brunette. "But tell me ... Are you ready to go home?"</p><p>"I've been thinking ... And I would like to stay here for some time to help the kids get adjusted," Maria mentally prayed more than anything at the moment than to stay.</p><p>"I am sorry but you can't do anything about it, you have to go back to the dorms-"</p><p>"But!"</p><p>"We have strict orders from Commander Shadis, Levi and I already did too much by asking him permission to come and look for you all," Hange looks at Maria with sadness in her eyes, it was tragic that Maria wasn't allowed to take her own decisions. "We have to come back with you all ... If we don't we will get punished and you will have it worst."</p><p>"But what if we say-"</p><p>"Maria, we can't lie ... We are here to take the house attendants, even one of the commander's advisor is here with us," Hange added. "Another specialized group is going to come for the injured soldiers, they are going to come and investigate the place ... They will find you."</p><p>Hange places a hand on the brunette's shoulder to show her resilience, "I am sorry, but you are still legal property of the Survey Corps ... If they find out you are here without permission, they will punish you. You won't be able to stay on the dorms anymore, you will be put somewhere else or they will even sell you to someone."</p><p>The brunette looks down to the ground in disappointment, she knew that she couldn't stay here for long. However, she had the hope that this time could be different. The brunette looks over to the children, they looked to be happy at the moment as their tummies received proper amounts of food. It has only been a couple of days but she became fond of them quickly.</p><p>"But on the bright side, Erwin will officially become the next Commander really soon and he may permit you to come back." Hange tried to cheer up the brunette as he noticed that Nicholas was approaching her from behind. He had heard the conversation as he was walking by.</p><p>"Do you think he will let me come?"</p><p>"Erwin has a good heart ... I am almost sure," she smiles, and that brings comfort to Maria.</p><p>"Also! I asked some of my old friends to keep giving the kids extra food while we are gone," Nicholas interrupted as he places an arm around Maria's shoulders. "They are strong kids too, so don't worry too much ... Also, my friend Hannes comes every week to visit the kids and makes sure they are eating properly."</p><p>Maria smiles feeling a bit more positive, this obstacle shouldn't stop her from achieving her wants. She shouldn't give up too easily, once Erwin becomes Commander of the Survey Corps, she will ask him to allow her to stay at the refugee facility for a couple of days. At least until the children were relocated to a safe place.</p><p>"Fine, I'll go with you," Maria responded. "I'll go tell the other house attendants to get ready too." </p><p>"Don't worry, the Commander's advisor will go to each room and look for them," Hange says, and then she looks at Nicholas with a teasing smile. "Also, Flaherty!"</p><p>"Yes, squad leader Zoe!" Nicholas suddenly removes his arm from Maria's shoulders as he salutes Hange.</p><p>"We will talk about your punishment later," Hange says. "Don't think I have forgotten that you left the hospital without permission."</p><p>"I'll take any punishment that you think it's righteous- "</p><p>"And Captain Levi will make you company too, he also disobeyed orders during the outside the wall expedition."</p><p>"Ah, shit."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>The children assured Maria that they would be just fine without her and to not worry too much. However, they would love to see her from time to time. Maria knew that they were strong but even so, she couldn't stop shedding tears when she hugged them goodbye.</p><p>She promised to come back once she clear things up with the new Commander.</p><p>Now she and the house attendants were on their way back. Around five carriages came to pick them up and tomorrow they will send back the carriages if possible. After all, they were suffering from a scarcity of vehicles since they were all used by the government at the moment.</p><p>It was strangely awkward, Levi was next to Hange facing Maria and Nicholas. The prairie schooner was big enough for them and they were thankful that the white mantle was on top of them because it seems like it could rain at any moment. The sky was filled with clouds, and strong winds crossed by.</p><p>Seeing that not a lot of things were said, Maria decided to speak up. She was still worried about her friend Lisa since she didn't know exactly where she was.</p><p>"I've wanted to ask," she looks at Hange because she was still a bit embarrassed about the whole situation with Levi. "Will the Survey Corps staff visit other refugee facilities? We believe we have other friends who may reside in them."</p><p>"Yes, it will take some time but we will try to be as fast as we can," Hange responds, mentally thanking the brunette for speaking up because she also couldn't take the awkward silence. "We had a great loss, I still don't know how we will be able to move from this."</p><p>"We are probably going to have to cut money on a lot of things ... Food especially," Nicholas says out of nowhere. "I may even add that some soldiers may not receive payments in a while ... And maybe even sell some house attendants."</p><p>Levi rolls his eyes, whatever Nicholas says annoys him a great deal. But even he had to admit that he was right, there was a small possibility that it might happen.</p><p>"But don't worry! I'll think of something to buy you off before that happens!" Nicholas smiles at the brunette as he places his strong hand in Maria's leg. She didn't mind too much since the fabric of her dress stopped him from touching any skin. "And then you will finally be mine!"</p><p>This is the type of thing Hange enjoyed. Watching a love triangle unfold, jealous Levi was something so amusing to her. Almost like an experiment, she wanted to know just what was Levi's limit.</p><p>"Nicholas, don't say those things so lightly!" Maria says, still not minding the touch on her leg. She was more worried about his words.</p><p>"I mean it! Don't worry I won't force you to do anything you don't want to do," he winks at her while Maria feels heat going up to her cheeks. "And once we married we will have a nice house, what about a kid or two?"</p><p>"You should think about getting a house inside Wall Sina if possible, it's safer," Hange added out of the blue and Levi looks at her, feeling betrayed.</p><p>"Please, don't give him ideas," Maria added, and then she turns around to look at Nicholas. "Besides I am still angry at you!"</p><p>"Uh, why?"</p><p>"You know why!" Maria turns her face on the other side as she finally saw that it started raining.</p><p>Levi on the other hand wasn't having too much fun. He was thinking of two things, either cut off Nichola's hand for touching Maria's leg or cutting off his tongue for saying that she was his. Either or, he would like to do whichever.</p><p>"Wait, I know why!" Nicholas takes off his hand from Maria's leg and instead he looked for something in his pant's pocket. He then showed it to Maria, it was the white ribbon that Maria had given him before the outside the wall expedition. "Your hair ribbon, sorry I forgot to give it to you with all the commotion."</p><p>Maria didn't want to look at Levi at the moment. She just could feel his gaze on them and she didn't how to react. The brunette didn't want to give the wrong impression to Levi but she also didn't want to be rude to Nicholas. It wasn't just fair to him either.</p><p>"It's not because of that that I am angry at you," Maria says as she takes off the ribbon from his hands. "But ... I hate how I can't stand mad at you for long ... Thank you."</p><p>Hange looks to her side to see humanity's strongest soldier, just there, radiating anger off his body.</p><p>"I know you can't," Nicholas says as he suddenly places his head on Maria's lap, resting peacefully. "That's why I tease you so much."</p><p>While Maria didn't know what to do, Hange was having the time of her life. She was surprised at the high tolerance Levi was having at the moment, she could also tell that Nicholas was looking at Levi with challenging eyes.</p><p>With defiance blue eyes and a teasing smile, Nicholas was telling Levi everything he needed to know.<em>"She is still mine, so back off."</em></p><p>"Maria, can you play with my hair?" Nicholas asks. "It's been a while."</p><p>"It's ... It's not appropriate-"</p><p>"Oh, don't worry about us! We don't mind, right Levi?" Hange asks as she turns her face to look at the angry man who was throwing daggers at her with his blue cold eyes.</p><p>
  <em>"Fuck you Hange."</em>
</p><p>"Actually I do-" Levi began but he was then cut off by the scientist.</p><p>"So, go ahead!"</p><p>"Um, alright,"</p><p>Maria says as she awkwardly pats Nicholas's red hair, as she tried to be delicate she couldn't help it but turn her head to the other side. She just could feel Levi's eyes on her and it was making her uncomfortable.</p><p>At the moment, Levi was really thinking that jumping off the carriage was better than to witness what was happening in front of him. For the last days, the only thing he wanted was to lay next to Maria. For her to caress his hair, to be intimate with each other. What else did Nicholas want from him?</p><p>Or a better question, what else was Nicholas <em>sharing</em> with him? He already treats her like his girlfriend in front of everyone, he kisses her, shows her affection, cares for her? What else? Sexual intimacy? Not, Levi couldn't think like that. He knew that he was going to go crazy just at the thought of it. Maria said that she was going to stay with him but ... She never said she was going to stop seeing Nicholas.</p><p>What if ... Just what if they are seeing each other intimately? It's not like he could do anything about it not discuss it with her. Because he was nothing to her ... Nothing. He didn't have the right to feel this angry, nor this petty.</p><p><em>"But fuck, why am I the only one feeling jealousy?" </em>Levi thought. <em>"I want you to feel it too!"</em></p><p>And as Hange was enjoying the scene too much, she suddenly feels something on her shoulder.</p><p>Did Levi just place his head on her shoulder?</p><p>She turns around to see that he had actually done it. He had his eyes close as he rested his head on the scientist. Hange on the other hand wanted to let out a laugh, this was clearly done to make Maria jealous. But it seems like it wasn't working.</p><p>Mostly for two things, one that Maria and she were close friends and Maria knew about Hange's interest in Moblit. The other thing was that Levi's action wasn't that intimate.</p><p>"Oh, Hange!" Maria says suddenly as she notices Levi's head on her shoulder.</p><p><em>"Oh, are you jealous now Maria?" </em>he thought.</p><p>"You should let Levi rest on your lap too, he looks tired," Maria says with a smile.</p><p>Oh, yes Hange also forgot ... That Maria just wanted the best for Levi and things such as jealousy may not be on her list.</p><p>
  <em>"Fuck me, Maria,"</em>
</p><p>At his failed attempt to make the brunette jealous, Levi removes his head from Hange's shoulder. Now he didn't know at who he should be angrier at ... Nicholas for living the life he wants or Maria because she just didn't seem to understand him just yet.</p><p>"Stop touching his hair already dammit,"</p><p>Levi suddenly realized that he said that out loud and not in his thoughts.</p><p>"Um? Why-"</p><p>"Oh! No, Maria, it's alright!" Nicholas says as he removes himself from Maria's lap. "The Captain has a good idea ... You must be tired ... Here, now you rest your head on my lap."</p><p>
  <em>"Go to fucking hell Flaherty."</em>
</p><p>It was quiet as the only thing that could be heard was raindrops hitting the ground. The soft walk of the horses on the grass, the soldier managing the horses as he moves the reins strongly. Levi held a powerful look at Maria, he was just looking at her with no expression whatsoever. He was just waiting for an answer, one that was taking long.</p><p>The brunette knew her answer, she wanted to deny him. However, she was just taking longer because she was trying to figure out how to softly turn down his proposition.</p><p>"Four eyes rest on my lap!"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>With an incredible force, Levi grabs Hange by her neck and forces her to place her head on his lap. The act made everyone surprised and Hange wanted nothing but laugh at how pathetically Levi was trying to get some type of reaction from the brunette. If he wanted to make Maria jealous, he should have picked another pretty girl ... Not her.</p><p>
  <em>"Right ... A pretty girl."</em>
</p><p>"Yo! Maria, try it it feels nice!" Hange tried to get rid of those thoughts as she wanted to keep on making Levi angry. "Try it! Try it!"</p><p>Maria turns to look at Nicholas who was smiling and at Levi who was just waiting for an answer coming from her. Hange resting her head on Levi's lap and she smiled at the brunette too. She didn't know where she felt the most pressure from, her two friends or humanity's strongest soldier.</p><p>"Come on, don't be shy! You used to do it all the time!" And just like Levi did with Hange, Nicholas did the same. Using his left hand, he grabs Maria by the neck and forces her to place her head on his lap.</p><p><em>"Ah, just close your eyes, don't look at Levi ... Don't look at him." </em>Maria tried her best to think about anything but the killer looks Levi must be giving Nicholas at the moment. <em>"I am going to have to talk to him after this ..."</em></p><p>Thoughts aside, it was actually very comforting and it felt nice just as Hange said. She hasn't gotten any proper sleep these last couple of days and she began to feel numb very fast. The sound of the rain hitting the ground, the smell of wet soil, and Nicholas playing with her hair ... Almost the perfect place to sleep.</p><p>"Ouch Levi! You are pulling my hair!"</p><p>Watching her sleep was nice, Levi always thought that no matter how Maria slept, he would enjoy seeing her. However, there was always an exception to the rules. How he hated to see her sleeping so peaceful as Nicholas the lucky bastard played with her hair. Levi had never even had that opportunity. Sleeping with her after sex? Yes. Her sleeping on his lap? No. And that was his problem, that he just didn't want sex with her but also just be with her. Intimacy, being together was enough.</p><p><em>"Keep doing that and I'll make you run until you vomit Flaherty, and I don't care what if Hange is your squad leader, you'll do as I say," </em>he was already thinking in so many ways to punish Nicholas once they get back to training at the Survey Corps grounds.</p><p>"Look at her," Nicholas' voice wasn't directed at anyone, it was more to himself but even so Levi couldn't help but pay attention to his words. "She is just sleeping but it's crazy how I wouldn't change this for anything."</p><p>Levi looks at the other side, wanting to see anything but the couple in front of him. In a sense, Nicholas and him were similar, Maria had the two of them at her feet. And just like he would do anything for her, Nicholas would do the same. That was a great threat and an enemy that Levi might not be able to win against.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>They had come to a sudden stop. The rain had become too heavy for everyone to continue. The horses couldn't continue walking and the carriages would continue to stall due to the mud and rocky paths. Commander advisor's, Leon Müller, decided to seek for a hostel in a nearby village for the safety of everyone. Counting, in total there were 17 women and 8 men. Each room in the hostel could host up to 5 people, meaning that only 5 rooms were needed. Some men and women would have to sleep in the same room. Seeing that everyone was a responsible adult and that they didn't have the luxury to spend money on more rooms, everyone was alright with the decision.</p><p>After all the math is done, two women and three men would be sharing a room. Nicholas, Levi, Leon, Hange, and Maria. They were tired enough but the brunette wanted to take the opportunity to take a bath at least.</p><p>"Yo Levi, I'll let you share the room with your girlfriend but keep in mind we are all here," Leon says as he himself was on his way to exit the room, trying to see if he could get some food. "We don't want any unnecessary ... Sounds ... It's better if you both sleep in a separate bed bunker."</p><p>"She is not my girlfriend and we weren't planning on doing anything," Levi answers as he sat in the lower bed, Nicholas on the top. Facing Levi, Maria looks at him with a bit of disappointment in her eyes. Not like she could say much at the moment either.</p><p>"Well then, sorry," Leon says, he was saying that sarcastically. More as a joke and a reference of the previous day. He still couldn't believe Levi would go to Commander Shadis and ask him for permission to look for the brunette. "I should be saying that to you then Flaherty! No touching your girlfriend for the night!"</p><p>"Yes, sir!" Nicholas says from the top bed of the bunker. "Although it's Maria who you should warn! She can't keep her hands off me!"</p><p>"Nicholas!" Maria says from the other bed. Seeing the funny reaction coming off the brunette, Leo let out a laugh as he left the room.</p><p>A few seconds of silence passed in which Maria didn't know where to look. Levi laid on his bed, looking at the top part of the bunker bed. Maria thought that maybe she was exaggerating but a strange aura was radiating off Levi. He just seemed to be distant, he was probably just tired or so she hoped.</p><p>It was still raining, as Maria could tell from the window. Heavy rain, thunder, and lighting. The dim light from the candlelights made the room the perfect place to sleep in but at the moment the only thing Maria could think of was to find a place where she could take a bath.</p><p>"I'll go see if there are any communal baths in here," Maria says as she stood up from the bottom bed. "Hange, do you want to come with me?"</p><p>"Uh? I don't like showering," Hange says. Maria also noticed that the scientist was awfully quiet since they arrived at the hostel and that wasn't something normal.</p><p>"... You are definitely coming with me, then," Maria looks at Hange with strong eyes. "Come on, it will be fun!"</p><p>"But..." The scientist tried to deny her again and she would have if it wasn't that she was actually in a melancholy mood today.</p><p>"Please?"</p><p>"... Fine."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Thankfully, there was a communal hot tub for Maria and Hange to enjoy. It wasn't the biggest one but it was big enough for five people, which was enough for the brunette. The wooden bathtub was filled to the top, the boiling water was changed every thirty minutes to keep it hot.</p><p>It was nice but Maria couldn't help but notice that something was missing. Maybe it was Hange that she also seemed distant, usually whenever they talk, it was she who initiated the conversation but tonight it has to be Maria. And of course, she didn't mind. But how could she start? Maybe a compliment? When she used to work at the tavern, Maria would start a conversation with men by complimenting them. Their suits, their shoes, their eyes, and even when she didn't mean it, they would believe it.</p><p>"Hange, you have beautiful hair ... You should let it loose once in a while," Maria smiles, she actually meant her compliment. Hange was a woman of many qualities but she also had her beauty assets.</p><p>"What for?" As if Hange had been awakened from a dream, she looks at Maria with curiosity in her eyes. "I don't have anyone to impress."</p><p>"It's not about having some to impress ... It's about yourself, about trying to have more confidence in oneself" Maria responded but she immediately left out a laugh. "But of course, you are Hange Zoe! Squad leader and the smartest person in the world! You must not care about petty things like vanity-"</p><p>"But I do!" the scientist raises her voice a little, making the bathroom go quiet. She couldn't help but remember the words that Elise said to her weeks ago at the dinner made for the house attendants.</p><p>
  <em>"Oh, Squad Leader Zoe, no need to be so aggressive, I won't do it again, I wouldn't want to get into a fight with you, that's not very ladylike ... But of course, you don't know anything about being a lady, right?</em>
</p><p>"I know, I shouldn't care about those things ... I am good at so many things, I am an important person," Hange looks down at the water that surrounded her, not being able to face the brunette. "But I still care ... I care about what others say about me and what they think ... I want to look and feel pretty too ..."</p><p>Now that she thinks about it, Maria was similar to Hange. They were both confident in their own fields. Living with prostitutes and saloon girls made Maria learn about confidence. It was something that her job demanded, to be confident in her appearance, to be able to talk to men and intrigue them. But when it came to educational matters, Maria couldn't help but feel stupid, ignorant, and intimidated by women like Hange. Maria was always careful with the things she would say around her for the fact that she didn't want to sound stupid in front of her. In front of the woman she admired so much.</p><p>"Pathetic is not? We are in the middle of a crisis and I am thinking about this."</p><p>But now, looking at Hange, a woman who had so many amazing qualities being a victim of vanity ... It made her realize that she is just a simple woman like her too. Both of them lack confidence, in their perspective persona.</p><p>"You know Hange ... I was raised by saloon girls, all of them prettier than me. They helped me a lot to feel confident because it was part of my job ... So to be honest, I've never felt pessimistic about my looks," Maria moves slowly next to Hange, who was still looking down. "But, when I look at women like you ... I feel so intimidated, I feel so ugly and stupid."</p><p>"What I am trying to say is that you shouldn't feel bad about feeling unconfident ... I guess everyone is a victim of vanity at the end of the day," underneath the water, Maria softly grabs Hange's hand. "I don't know if this helps but ... Hange, you are by far the most amazing woman I've ever met ... And I mean that!"</p><p>Hange blushed a little, she didn't expect for a pretty woman like Maria to feel intimidated by her. Her, who doesn't take baths, who smells bad, talks like a boy and sits with her legs open. But the brunette was talking with such sincerity, that it was complicated not to believe her.</p><p>"Thank you, Maria, it does help," Hange smiles and Maria smiles back, she was happy to see Hange being her usual self.</p><p>"But don't get me wrong, I also think you are beautiful!" Maria says. "You exceed in both, looks and brains! Any man would fall for you ... But if you ever need my help to bust up your confidence a little, let me know! I would love to try to make up with you and groom your hair!"</p><p>"I'll take your word once we go back to the dorms," the scientist says as she lets out a smile. She extended her hands around the edge of the wooden bathtub. "Also, don't think of yourself as stupid ... I would never think of you like that ... And if you want, I could lend you some books and teach you somethings."</p><p>Maria's eyes shone with excitement, especially to know that Hange didn't think of her as ignorant. "Yes, thank you! My reading level is very basic right now but I'll try my best to learn."</p><p>Ah, so was this why Levi felt so attracted to Maria? It was so easy to talk and open up to her. Hange didn't know if it was the brunette's natural ability or if it was learned because she had to deal with talking with men. But either-or, Maria's communication skills were something to be appreciated.</p><p>"You really don't judge anyone, uh?"</p><p>"I am a tavern dancer, I don't think I could judge anyone even if I wanted to."</p><p>The women let out a laugh, it was sometimes good to laugh about oneself. It was as if everything had gone back to normal between the two, and it was nice to talk to Hange like this. Learning a new side of a friend was always interesting.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Meanwhile, the room was awfully quiet. It was only Levi on the lower bed and Nicholas on the top bed. Levi tried to conceive some sleep but was having a hard time since he couldn't get a moment of silence. It was the scribbles of a pen against paper, the screeching sound of the top bed moving, and the candlelight that was still turned on.</p><p>"Hey, dumbasss!" Levi says as he kicks the top bed, making the young man on top bounce. "Stop making so much noise! I am trying to sleep!"</p><p>"I am trying to write!" Nicholas moves his head a little, trying to see if he could get a peek of the angry Captain on the lower bed. "It's not my fault you don't have anyone to write to."</p><p>This guy was driving him crazy, one of these days he was going to punch him in the face.</p><p>"Well, it's not like Maria can't read anyways," Levi says, he wasn't one to get involved in cheap fights like this but Nicholas was really pushing his buttons.</p><p>"I can read it out loud to her," Nicholas replies almost instantly. "I am writing a book for her, so she can practice her reading ... But she has also done her fair share of studying. She can read slow and stumbles in some words but she is making progress."</p><p>"What?" Levi didn't want to sound so surprised and he mentally cursed at himself for sounding like that.</p><p>"She told me that you started teaching her and also Petra has helped her," Nicholas takes a pause, having a small flashback in his head. "I have to thank you ... It was really nice listening to Maria read."</p><p>Humanity's strongest soldier felt a heavy pressure in his heart. When they were practicing reading and writing, Levi had asked Maria multiple times if she could read out loud for him. However, she would always deny him, saying that she still wasn't ready for any long paragraphs.</p><p>Why? Why was the brunette comfortable reading to Nicholas and not him? Why was he so special to him? So intimate and open? Why couldn't Maria get close to him the same way she did with Nicholas?</p><p>"Was she always like that with you? So, comfortable?"</p><p>The question caught Nicholas off guard, he was showing a certain vulnerability. But although the question was more to himself than to Nicholas, the redhead didn't mind answering that question at all.</p><p>"Not at the beginning ... It took some for our relationship to get to that level ... and something else brought us closer too."</p><p>"Something else?"</p><p>"I won't talk about that, its a secret between her and me ... Sorry, to be honest, I don't think Maria will ever tell you about that," Nicholas says as he went back to writing, already having some ideas to write about in his book. "We have a special bond, lets leave it like that ... But I can answer you any other question."</p><p>He was having a golden opportunity, Levi could know anything he wanted about Maria. It was as if Nicholas was the one inviting him to ask questions. But he also couldn't ask too many, maybe one or two but not more.</p><p>"Were you ... her first boyfriend?" He asks.</p><p>"Um, I am not quite sure ... I know she was forced into an arranged marriage, but Maria doesn't like to talk about that, so we never did," Nicholas used this opportunity to make the man a little bit jealous. "But I was her first for many other things if you know what I mean."</p><p>Nicholas felt another strong kick coming from underneath his bed, making him jump and hit his head with the ceiling. "Ouch!"</p><p>"Shut up fucking bastard!"</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>The next morning was better, they had safely arrived back to the Survey Corps Houses. While everyone in Levi's squad was happy to see Maria again, the Captain was still acting distant towards the brunette. The good news had also arrived, a letter from Lisa had reached the hands of Petra the day before. She informed through her letter that she was taking refuge at a facility in Trost District and thanks to her connections she was able to send a letter. It would take a couple of days before they send someone to get her, but knowing that Lisa was safe made Maria's day.</p><p>"Don't get too happy," Levi warns her as he stands up from his seat on the dining table. "We are ordered to go and talk to Erwin in an hour."</p><p>"But, we just came back," Maria says, she was hoping she could take a quick bath before meeting him.</p><p>"Not my problem, just wash your face and change clothes," Levi says as he walks towards the door, ready to leave. "I will be leaving now, I don't care if you stay or not."</p><p>"But!"</p><p>"Don't worry Maria take your time, I'll give you a ride in my horse once you are done," Petra interrupts the scene. Getting a heavy '<em>tsk'</em> coming off from the Captain. He leaves angrily as he slams the door.</p><p>"Thank you, Petra," Maria says a bit embarrassed about the situation, she didn't even know why Levi was giving her the cold shoulder.</p><p>"No problem, but ... Captain Levi seems a bit distant and angry, don't you think?" Petra asks as she looks at the brunette. She looks down at her hands, delicately pressed in the wooden table.</p><p>Maria was quiet and an awkward smile was placed in her face.</p><p>" ... Is everything alright with you and the Captain?" Petra asks again.</p><p>The house attendant knew that something was strange about Levi. Ever since he went to look for her at Trost District, something changed. Was it because she didn't accept his public affection? It wasn't that she didn't mind, it was more that she was confused and embarrassed.</p><p>But she also had her questions ... Why did Levi hold her hand in public? Was that his way of telling her that he wanted more out of her? More than just a simple partner for sex? But then again ... If he wanted that, why was he so distant?</p><p>"To be honest with you ... I don't even know."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Walking through the corridors of the Survey Corps, Levi was on his way to meet with Erwin at his office. The meeting was supposed to be about their punishments. It was awfully quiet until he heard small steps following from behind him.</p><p>"Levi!"</p><p>He recognized the voice and he decided to keep on walking, knowing very well she would follow him either way.</p><p>"Don't you think you should still be resting?" Elise asks as she caught up with humanity's strongest soldier. He wasn't looking directly at her and if she guessed any better, she could tell that Levi was going to Erwin's office.</p><p>"I had plenty of rest," he replies. "I think you should be the one resting."</p><p>"I just got better by talking to you," she says sweetly but Levi only rolls his blue eyes. Suddenly, the beautiful woman grabs Levi by his hand and he stops immediately.</p><p>"I just wanted to tell you something," her voice changed, she began to softly caress his hand and the action surprised him. He had never seen her like this before, well actually there was a time. The first time she confessed the love she had for him. "The day of the expedition ... I saw how much you cared for that whore- I mean Maria."</p><p>"I think I realize ... Just how important she is to you," Elise lets out a heavy sigh, her eyes began to tear a little. "All I want for you is to be happy ... If she is your happiness then I'll step aside and stop being so clingy to you."</p><p>There was silence and at that Levi became suspicious. He knew that Elise wasn't a bad person but her sudden change surprised him nonetheless.</p><p>"I just want to be your friend now, for you to trust me," she lets out a smile as she tries to get closer to him. However, she saw that he was having a bit of discomfort.</p><p><em>"Shit, I need to act more natural." </em>Elise thought and she let go of Levi's hand.</p><p>"I mean my words Levi, I want to be someone who you can trust," Elise says. "I know I've been bad to you but I promise to make it up to you ... If you or Maria ever need my help ... Do not hesitate to ask me."</p><p><em>"Bullshit," </em>Levi thought but he still didn't want to be rude to the blond.</p><p>"I'll give you the benefit of the doubt," Levi replies as he takes a few steps away from her.</p><p>At that Elise smiles, it was genuine from what Levi could tell and that was already written down on his personal book. He didn't trust her at all yet, but he actually hopes that she was being sincere. Levi wasn't one to judge after all. If someone like him was given another chance, then why not Elise too? For now, the only thing he could do was to wait and see.</p><p>"Thank you, Levi ... I won't let you down!"</p><p>"If you say so,"</p><p>With one last smile, Elise salutes him, "I'll see you later Captain."</p><p>And with that, she walks away. Her smile fades away as she takes stronger steps. Her eyes shone with desire, the immense power of vengeance and with that, another smile was placed in her beautiful face. One that would scare and intimidate the strongest of men.</p><p>
  <em>"It's going to take some time but I'll win your trust, I'll become your closest friend, your confidant ... And when that happens, I'll just have to get rid of that whore ... I just have to patient ... Just wait Levi, you will be mine."</em>
</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>It was quiet, they were only waiting for one person. Meanwhile, Levi, Erwin, and Nicholas were just staring at each other. There were three seats, the one in the middle was empty. Erwin sat on behind his desk, already knowing that if they could, the two men in front of him would fight each other.</p><p>Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.</p><p>"Come in," Erwin says out loud, knowing very well who it was.</p><p>Maria smiles innocently at the three, feeling a little bit of discomfort for being with three men alone in one room. However, she trusted Nicholas and Levi very much and felt safe around them. What scared her the most was what the Commander's advisors, Erwin Smith, will say.</p><p>Levi looks at Maria and he regretted it because he wasn't able to look away now. She looks more refreshed, her face slightly painted, her hair nicely groomed. The brunette was wearing one of the dresses given to her by the men who courted her during the dance ball. It was nice and not very 'ladylike' it showed off her collarbones, her shoulders, and even part of her cleavage.</p><p>A white corset around her waist and the dress's skirt was slim, nothing like the heavy and big maid dress she wore regularly. There was even a large cut aside on her dress and as she walks, her leg shows from time to time.</p><p>"Sorry, am I late?" Maria says with an awkward smile and she received silence from the three men. Even Levi noticed a certain surprised look on Erwin's face and at that he decided to clear his throat. Breaking the blond's trance and Nicholas stood up quickly from his seat. He moves the middle chair, giving enough space for Maria to take a seat.</p><p>"Just arrived in time," Erwin says as he looks back to the papers at his desk, trying to get back his composure. "We are here today to distribute these gentlemen's punishments ... Tragically, you are involved too, Miss Turret."</p><p>"Please just call me Maria," the brunette says. "I've never liked my last name, besides legally I don't have one."</p><p>Levi made it a mental note to ask about that later. It was strange, what did she mean she didn't legally have a last name?</p><p>Erwin nods as he turns to face Nicholas who was quiet, already scared for his punishment.</p><p>"Flaherty, since you left hospital grounds without permission," Erwin starts. "Your punishment is cleaning the library and the cafeteria's kitchen for a month."</p><p>"What? That's so long!" Nicholas says out loud.</p><p>"Want to make it for two months?" Erwin asks and Nicholas instantly shuts up. Levi lets a small smirk form in his face and as Erwin notices this, he turns to face humanity's strongest soldier.</p><p>"Levi, you disobeyed orders during the outside the wall expedition," Erwin says firmly and Maria had to admit that she was even scared of him. "I can't punish you by cleaning because I know you enjoy doing that ... So, instead ..."</p><p>The Commander's advisor and future Commander of the Survey Corps looks at Maria then at Nicholas.</p><p>"Flaherty, your house attendant is still not with you, correct?"</p><p>"Correct, Lisa is still at a refugee facility," Nicholas replies.</p><p>"Very well then, Maria will be your new house attendant until Ms.Lisa comes back," Erwin says. "And Levi, you are going to have to clean the horse's waste for a month."</p><p>Levi wanted to curse at Erwin, to tell him to go to hell. He didn't care much about cleaning horses' shit but the fact that we won't be seeing Maria for a weeks was of concern to him. And Erwin knew that.</p><p>"I hope there is no problem with you, Maria," The blond one looks at Maria and the brunette quickly nods. She really couldn't go against his words, especially when she wanted to ask him a favor after this meeting.</p><p>"Very well, if there are no more comments, you are all dismissed and start the punishment next week," he clears his documents and puts them in a file. Levi and Nicholas already standing up, ready to leave. But then they hesitated as they saw that the brunette wasn't standing up from her seat.</p><p>"Mr. Smith," Maria began, she looks up to him.</p><p>"Erwin is fine," he says.</p><p>"Alright, Erwin ... Can I talk to you for a few minutes ... in private?"</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>He has never had the opportunity to talk to the brunette before and he was wholeheartedly interested in knowing more about her. About the kind of women, someone like Levi was interested in. Erwin was also curious about what kind of thing she wanted to talk to him about privately.</p><p>"I know that this may be inconsiderate of me," Maria stumbles with her words. She was nervous about two things, Erwin was a very serious man and smart as well. And she was afraid of saying something wrong and coming off as stupid. "But, I've heard that you will be becoming Commander of the Survey Corps soon."</p><p>"Correct."</p><p>"I was wondering ... When that happens, would you allow me to visit and help the children in the refugee's facility? Her hands trembled as she grabs the fabrics of her dress to try and pretend to be strong. "I want the children to find a safe place to stay, whether it's with a family member or at orphanage inside Wall Rose."</p><p>"I need to talk it out with the other advisors, you must understand that if we let you outside the Survey Corps grounds, rules need to be implemented," Erwin says. "I admire your willingness to help others ... So, you have my word ... I'll do anything in my power so you can go back to the refugee facility."</p><p>Maria let out a heavy sigh in relief, and with a sweet smile she responded, "Thank you."</p><p>Meanwhile, outside the door and the two men were trying to hear the conversation between Erwin and Maria. Their ears pressed against the wooded door, they could only hear whispers but they still tried their best.</p><p>"What are they talking about?" Nicholas asked out loud.</p><p>"If you shut up we might be able to hear," Levi says angrily. He couldn't believe just how low he had gotten, trying to hear the conversation of others.</p><p>And suddenly, they hear laughs coming from the inside the room.</p><p>
  <em>"Was that Erwin ... Laughing?"</em>
</p><p>The act was unknown to Levi and his mind began to wonder just what the hell was going on inside his office. Thirty minutes had already passed, Erwin was a busy man meaning that whatever they were talking about, the conversation must be really important. Either that or he was just simply enjoying her company.</p><p>"Well, seems like they are having a good time," Nicholas says as he takes off his ear from the door. "I need to go help Hange with one of her experiments, so I need to go."</p><p>"Wait," Levi says. "You ... Don't care?"</p><p>"Of course I do," Nicholas says as he was ready to walk away. "But honestly, I'll be happy if Maria gets to be with someone like Erwin ... He is a good man, unlike you."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>45 minutes.</p><p>45 fucking minutes in which Levi had to wait for the brunette to come out. They were laughing, talking, and moments of silence which drove Levi crazy. Just what the hell were they doing? One more minute ... Just one more minute and Levi would be kicking the door open.</p><p>But as he was about to do that, the brunette came out of his office smiling. She seemed to have a good conversation.</p><p>"Oh, Levi," Maria was surprised to see him outside waiting for so long. "Sorry, were you waiting for me-"</p><p>But the short man grabs her by her hand and began to walk at a fast pace, almost dragging her through the corridors of the Survey Corps facility.</p><p>"Is there something wrong?" the brunette asks again as she tries to take a peek at his face. But he remained quiet, it only took a few moments to arrive at the place of his destination.</p><p>Taking some keys out of his pocket, Levi unlocks the door and forcefully takes the brunette inside. Making sure that no one was around, he closes the door behind him. Locking it to make sure no one would interrupt them.</p><p>Maria looks around the room, it was just like Erwin's office just a little bit smaller, and seeing that Levi had the keys to this room she could only make her conclusions.</p><p>"Is this your office?" the brunette asks as she gets closer to the desk, everything looks so clean and well organized.</p><p>"Yes," he replied from behind as he makes his way closer to Maria. "But that's not important now ... What were you and Erwin talking about?"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"You heard me ... What was so important that you were in his office for 45 minutes?"</p><p>This could go two ways, Maria knew that her conversation with Erwin had been a long one. Mostly they were talking about the kind of help the refugee facilities needed, the type of rules that must be implemented if more house attendants would like to help and they even talked about Leah. Maria had shared with Erwin some stories about her friend, gaining the laugh of the blond man. He was a very interesting man as well and she was happy to see a more humane side of him.</p><p>"You are too quiet," Levi says again, he was becoming impatient but Maria just took a short moment to organize her thoughts. "What? Are you interested in him now?"</p><p>Maria found herself cornered. The large desk behind her and Levi in front of her, his arms around her, stopping her from escaping. "I am not! I was just asking him for a favor!"</p><p>"A favor? No wonder you are wearing that dress," Levi looks up and down at her. "You were trying to seduce him, weren't you?"</p><p>"No, I wasn't! Levi, I am not trying to seduce anyone!" Maria looks at him, still, a bit intimated by him. "I am wearing this dress because ..."</p><p>The house attendant looks to the side, a blush forming in her cheeks. "You have been distant with me and I just ... I just wanted to look pretty for you."</p><p>Maria could feel her heart go faster as Levi's blue eyes gaze at her. The intensity in his eyes was unmeasurable and she couldn't help but feel intimidated by his strong stance.</p><p>"It doesn't matter what you wear, I always desire you," he got closer to her face, whispering in her ear. "But I won't deny that the dress you are wearing is particularly interesting to me."</p><p>Maria felt her legs go weak at his seductive voice, as he softly began to caress her face as he looks at her caramel eyes.</p><p>"But didn't I tell you before?" he whispers again. "I hate it when other men look at you ... They want you, just like I want you right now."</p><p>Levi still didn't have a proper answer about what Maria was talking about with Erwin but he couldn't do much but trust her judgment. Also, about her kiss with Nicholas ... The thing that was hunting his mind, the reason why he was being so distant.</p><p>"And all you do is go against my wishes ... Is as if you want me to punish you."</p><p>Placing one hand in her face, Levi uses his thumb to caress Maria's lips, appreciating them.</p><p>"It's been days since I last had you," Levi places his thumb inside's Maria's mouth, enjoying to see her embarrassment because of his actions. "You don't know how much I need you."</p><p>He missed it so much, her exposed skin against his. Giving small kisses along her shoulders and collarbones, using his tongue to mark a small path of saliva. Finally reaching her lips which he had craved so much since the moment he saw her again. To Levi, everything still felt unreal and this was his way to prove to himself that she was alive, with him. After thinking about the possibility of her dying, this is what he needed. Just to be close to her to reassure himself she won't leave.</p><p>Their kisses became more heated the moment Levi places his hands on her waist, picking her up and placing her on top of his desk, their lips not separating. His heartbeat began to increase the moment he touches her exposed leg, caressing it softly.</p><p>Maria could feel herself tremble with excitement as Levi began to take dominance of the situation. It was a different kind of passion, it was strong, heated, uncontrollable. Very different from the last time they made love. She didn't mind but she was a bit scared and excited at the same time.</p><p>It took her a long time to want to be with another man. After what had happened, it was hard to be interested in sex at all. But after she met Levi, she felt a certain sense of security. Maybe it was because he got there in time. That time when she was getting harassed by that soldier in the forest and before anything could happen, Levi arrived. He saved her, he protected her in such a manner that made her feel completely safe.</p><p>And unconsciously, that is why she felt attracted to him from the beginning.</p><p>And the way he cared for her, even that night when they first tried making love and instead just talked all night long. Levi stopped when she asked him to, that was probably why Maria felt so safe and good around him. Levi showed her that she was still able to enjoy the act of sex without having negative flashbacks of that moment.</p><p>When she was with him, she could forget everything and just enjoy herself.</p><p>And even at this moment, it was strange for her to be thinking about Levi. But what else could she do? When he was holding her so tenderly? With so much desire and passion? She was getting aroused by just him kissing her, their tongues touching, their teeth clashing as they couldn't stop getting enough of each other.</p><p>Levi parts away and he likes to see the brunette's face, her blushing face, and her lips dripped a little bit of saliva due to their previous act. He had to admit that he liked the idea of making love to her in his office but had to ask her first if she was comfortable with it. After all, there were windows but being on the top floor, there was a low probability of people looking at them. Also that the desk was centered in the middle, far away from the large windows.</p><p>"Can I make love to you here?" Levi asks and Maria's eyes instantly look down to his crotch. She couldn't control it, the blush forming in her face the moment she noticed that Levi had a noticeable bulge.</p><p>"Yes, but can we keep the clothes on?" Maria looks to the side, trying to avoid his intense gaze. "There is just ... too much light."</p><p>Levi let out a small laugh, he liked her shyness, and most importantly he likes that this could turn out better than he expected.</p><p>"Also ... um ..." There was another condition, a question Maria have been wanting to ask since they started making out. "Have you ... brought anyone else in here? I just don't want people murmuring that I ... Well, that we ..."</p><p>"Do you care that much? What people say?" there was one thing he disliked about himself since he met Maria. And that was how self-conscious he became. He still remembers Erwin's words, about him saying that he should hurry up and get married because he was getting old and had no money and no woman would marry him like that. "I guess, you don't want to be seen sleeping with someone like me, right? You are embarrassed ... about being seen with me?"</p><p>But for Maria, it was completely different. It wasn't that, it was more that she didn't want people to think that she was a whore and sleeping with the Survey Corps' Captain.</p><p>"It's not that! It's just ..." she began to stumble with her words but she got her courage from seeing his disappointed face. "People have always thought of me as a whore ... I know I shouldn't care but when I arrived at the Survey Corps, I thought I could start again ... It's sometimes hard ... the stares of others."</p><p>Was she being selfish? Thinking about her needs but what about Levi's? Until now, she didn't know that he cared for such things. She knew he had his insecurities but never to this degree. Did he think less of himself? Even being Captain of the Survey Corps, humanity's strongest soldier, and a very handsome man wasn't enough?</p><p>"And I am also confused ..." Maria says again, she was afraid to ask but the situation seemed necessary.</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"Sometimes you are distant, as it seems you only want my body ... and that is fine too," she says, remembering how Levi shows certain affections in public. Like holding her hand, standing close to her, and staring at her. "But other times, you act as if you want more ... As if you want something else from this 'thing' that we have going on."</p><p>"How do you see me, Levi?" The brunette looks at him with pleading eyes. "Do you see me as a partner of pleasure only? Or ... Do you want to see me as a lover too? ... Do you want to be ... In a serious relationship with me?"</p><p>This was the question he was avoiding for so long because he knew he wouldn't like the answer. He wasn't sure about it either, and he couldn't give her a proper answer at the moment.</p><p>"I've been so selfish with you haven't I?" Levi gets closer to her, it was strange how easily she could change the mood between them, not like he cared too much. "I know that you have a strong romantic feeling for me and I have been using that to sleep with you."</p><p>"To be honest with you, before I wouldn't have care ... I would have been fine with just your body," he looks away. He didn't know why but he felt quite embarrassed by his own words. "But the more time I spend with you ... the less I want to hurt you... I don't want to cause you any harm, physically nor emotionally."</p><p>"I am scared that if my feelings continue like this ... I am going to have to let you go because I am not good for you," there was a pause as he keeps looking away. "And I even think you know that."</p><p>"I am not sure of what I want," almost like an instinct, Levi grabs Maria's hands and caresses them softly. "And I know is selfish of me to ask you for more time to think about what I want to do next ... but please just indulge me a little longer."</p><p>
  <em>"Just before I let you go."</em>
</p><p>The man places small kisses on Maria's lips and starts to kiss her face, she was like a treasure to him and he only wanted her for himself.</p><p>"I want you, your body, your lips, your touches, your skin, I want all of that ... I am sure of that," Levi whispers in Maria's ear as he suddenly places a hand on her chest, feeling her fast heartbeat. "But I also have to admit that a part of me wants to hold your hand, I want to walk next to you, I want to give you my jacket when you are cold, and I don't want to hide you."</p><p>He kisses her again on the lips, tasting her every inch of skin. She was sweet like honey, like vanilla ... as if she was made from the sweetest type of tea. Maria was made completely for him.</p><p>"How could I ever hide the best thing that happened to me?"</p><p>With that, Maria let herself go. She just had to be patient, just wait a little longer for Levi to be able to find out what he was feeling. And she didn't mind waiting ... Not if it was him.</p><p>And Levi knew he couldn't be selfish either. He needed to stop being so scared of his feelings, of letting himself get lost in her. Maria was nice for waiting for him but even he knew he wouldn't be able to make her wait much longer for an answer. Levi couldn't be that selfish to her, not after the much love she had given him.</p><p>Would he let her go? Or would he stay with her?</p><p>Levi couldn't think clearly at the moment and decided it was best not to. He wanted to enjoy the now and worry about those things later. Right now the only thing that matter was them, their kissing, and how slowly his hands were touching Maria's soft skin.</p><p>One hand held her face while the other made its way down to her temples. Just thinking about how other men would look at her in this dress made Levi jealous, angry even. But once again he was glad that he was the only one who could look at her like this. So it was alright for them to keep looking, to keep appreciating her beauty because that's as far as they will get to her.</p><p>The long cut on the dress, next to her leg made it easy for Levi to access to her underwear, and he didn't doubt to tease her a little. She was already wet and Levi let's out a smirk, a bit proud that he could make her be like this by just touching and kissing.</p><p>"Let's play a game, shall we?" Levi whispers in her ear as he plays with the wet underwear fabric with his fingers. Slightly touching the skin around her quivering clitoris. "I'll ask you some questions and if I like your answer ... I'll reward you well."</p><p>Maria nods, her legs already trembling and if it wasn't because she was sitting on Levi's desk, she would have probably already fallen to her knees.</p><p>"Good girl," he says as kisses her again, only for a brief second. He didn't want to give her too much, not yet.</p><p>"Do enjoy sleeping with me?" he asks as he tries to not break eye contact, he just enjoyed seeing her face too much. The brunette nods as she was too embarrassed at his act to even say a word.</p><p>"What is the thing you enjoy the most?" he wanted to listen to her voice and with his thumb his begins to softly caress her lovebud. Gaining a small moan from her voice, it was like music to him.</p><p>"When you play with my hair and hug me," she says and her words made humanity's strongest soldier stop his acts.</p><p>He immediately separated from her, his hands no longer giving her pleasure. Levi turns around, giving his back to her.</p><p>"Idiot!" he says and Maria could only wonder what she said that it was so bad that it made him stop. "I meant it as if you like having sex with me!"</p><p>"Oh! I am sorry!" Maria says. "Were you trying to be intimate with me? Do you want to try again?"</p><p>"No, you ruined it," there a few times in which Levi felt embarrassed. And this must take the cake. "I just don't want to put it in you, I mean yes but I want to make you feel good ... many times."</p><p><em>"Fuck, control yourself Levi!" </em>he hated how complicated it was for him to express himself. Usually, sex for him would be very simple. Just a simple act and he really didn't care much about his partner's pleasure. But he didn't want that with Maria. Levi wanted her to feel pleasure, and for him to be the one to give it to her.</p><p>Why is it that whenever he tried being intimate with her ... it ended up like this?</p><p>"Are you ... embarrassed?" Maria asks.</p><p>"No, I am not!"</p><p>He turns around and although he denied it, his face shows all the contrary. It wasn't only that he was embarrassed about his previous actions but it was that the position Maria was in wasn't the most ... modest. The sleeves of her dress had fallen off her shoulder and her hair was a bit of a mess.</p><p>"Pfft ..." Maria covered her mouth as she tried to contain her laughter but the longer she stared at Levi, the funnier he looked to her.</p><p>And Levi heard it again ... That sincere laugh he heard back when they were at the facility. That time Nicholas was the one who caused her laughter but this time ... It was him.</p><p>The brunette looks angelic too him, the window behind let's the sunshine lay on her soft skin, her brown her glowing, her face red due to their previous act and the dress that accentuated the best parts of her figure.</p><p>And that laughter ...</p><p>
  <em>"Holy shit ... Is this what happiness feels like?"</em>
</p><p>He watched her as she was finally able to get air back to get lungs and Levi just stood there as if Cupid had just used one of his arrows on him.</p><p>"I am sorry Levi, I'll try to read in between the lines next time," she smiles at him, and with a little jump, she hops off Levi's desk. Walking towards him. "Let me try now? Alright?"</p><p>Levi took a sigh, even in matters like this he was a slave to her. He felt Maria grab him by the hand and slowly moved with towards one of his office's chair, indicating him to sit down.</p><p>He does and Maria follows, sitting on top of him in his crotch area. Her already wet panties made contact with his hard member underneath his pants and Levi couldn't help it but let out a small growl.</p><p>Maria was about to unbutton his pants but Levi immediately stops her.</p><p>"Do you think I'll give up that easily?"</p><p>He grabs her by the waist, his strong hands had a firm hold of her. Using her hips, he moves her back and front, making her went temples rub against his clothed hard member.</p><p>"Who do you belong to?" he whispers in her ear, enjoying the close contact with her.</p><p>"You," she whispers back, a few moans escaping her lips.</p><p>"Do you love me?" he didn't plan to ask that, at least not now. But at the moment his heart was filled with so much desire to know that and Levi couldn't hold back.</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>Being like this made him remember the time he doubted her, and a part of him still does. He still needed to know the meaning behind the kiss Nicholas gave her and at the thought, he felt his insecurities and anger rise again.</p><p>He couldn't believe that Maria was in love with a possessive man like himself but he couldn't complain. The only thing Levi could hope for was that she never conquers the heart of another man like himself because he was sure as hell that he will fight him. Anyone.</p><p>"Love me completely, just me," he kisses her, wet kisses, their mouths red and saliva around their lips. "Don't you ever dare to love someone as much as you love me, understood?"</p><p>The house attendant nods as she couldn't formulate the words to answer him properly due to the waves of pleasure running through her body.</p><p>But suddenly, Levi stops his movements. Focusing on the eyes of the brunette, there was silence. His hands still on her waist and he liked how she was moving slowly, trying to get back into the action.</p><p>"I didn't hear you," his seductive voice made her inside's trembled and without much thought, he places his strong hand on her backside, almost slapping it. "... Say yes, Captain Levi."</p><p>He could feel her, her thighs trembling in extasis as she wanted more of him. It was exciting, the place, his words, his mannerism. She didn't even know if she was allowed to feel this good at this moment.</p><p>"Yes, Captain Levi," she whispers, almost begging him to continue their non-innocent act of lust.</p><p>At her words, he couldn't hold himself any longer as he kisses her passionately while unbuttoning his pants. His hard member already hurting from being contained inside his underwear and a growl came out of his lips as he finally exposed it.</p><p>"Can you take it all like this?"</p><p>He asks and the brunette stands up as she tries to pick up most of her dress. It wasn't heavy just long. However, it was still a bit complicated to pick it up and put it to the side while trying to take Levi's member inside of her. Especially since she still had her underwear on. She was a bit embarrassed but seeing that both of her hands were busy, she had no other option.</p><p>"Could you ... take off my underwear please?"</p><p>How could Levi ever deny that request? He enjoys seeing her in pretty dresses but he likes taking them off the most.</p><p>As she picks up her dress, Levi's cold hands began to pull off her white underwear. He could finally appreciate just how wet she was, her fluids coming off her temple and Levi couldn't think of anything more satisfying to see than this.</p><p>When her private garment was finally on the floor, Maria didn't hesitate to slowly place herself on top of Levi's hard member. Delicately and with sounds of pleasure, she took it all in, feeling every inch of it.</p><p>Meanwhile, Levi thought that his heart could explode at any second. His body was filled with extasis, his mind with desires, and his heart with newfound feelings.</p><p>This is the second time they had done this but it just felt like the first time. It was filled with passion and Levi even wonder how much he could take in of Maria's love, of her pure feelings.</p><p>Her arms were around him, her mouth next to his ear. Levi could hear it, her every escape of breath, her moaning, and gasps. It was the sweetest type of song, the sound that he wouldn't mind hearing every day.</p><p>She kept moving up and down, bringing  pleasure to herself and him. Moving a little bit away from him, Maria took a moment to appreciate his face.</p><p>Levi had red cheeks, drops of sweat and even his hair had become a bit messy by now. She could tell that humanity's strongest soldier was even containing himself from letting out exasperated moans. It was nice to see him like this too.</p><p>And ... there knocks on the door.</p><p>Maria stops moving but Levi worries not too much, he knew he had locked the door. With one hand, he signals Maria to stay quiet as he placed a finger on her lips.</p><p>"State your name and business!" Levi says out loud as he suddenly stands up, picking up Maria in the act. Their intimacies never separating. He places Maria's back on his desk finally having the opportunity to make love to her just as he likes.</p><p>"James Byrne! Commander's Advisor's Erwin Smith requires your presence!" a young man said from the other side of the door.</p><p>"And what does he want?" Levi began to move his hips, going in and outside of Maria while she covers her mouth trying to make the less noise possible.</p><p>"He didn't specify sir!" the soldier from outside heard the screeching sound of wood coming from inside the office. "Captain Levi, is everything alright inside? Do you need any help?"</p><p>"Yes, I am just cleaning around!" Levi says enjoying the excitement and danger of the moment. "Just leave already, tell Erwin I'll be there soon."</p><p>"Yes, sir!"</p><p>After that, they heard steps leaving the outside of the office.</p><p>They were free to continue their act of love, he won't admit out loud but he liked the danger of being caught.</p><p>"Not so controlling after almost being caught, uh?" Levi teases her as he continues to feel her insides, she was almost there and he could tell.</p><p>"Shut up and kiss me," she says and Levi did just as she asked. Following orders was his thing and all the more if it was her giving the commands.</p><p>He enjoyed being dominant but he greatly appreciated the moments when she takes the initiative. It was as if she wanted to be part of the lovemaking and not just a mere bystander trying to get the most out of it.</p><p>After a few minutes, they knew that they were about to reach their climax. Maria's legs began to tremble, Levi secretly made his way on marking love bites on Maria's shoulders.</p><p>"Can I finish inside?" Levi asks but Maria was finding it hard to formulate words.</p><p>"Please, let me know ... I am almost there," he says, wishing with a passion that she would let him have his way on her insides. He just wanted it so much, for their love juices to mix together even more.</p><p>"No ... Outside, please," Maria pleaded as she felt a big wave of pleasure run through her body. "Levi ... I am-"</p><p>And he felt it too, her body shaking underneath him. She suppressed her voice, Levi could feel her, her insides throbbing, evolving his member even tighter.</p><p>Levi couldn't go against her words as he pulls out from her, he messages his member a few times before finally finishing on the floor. He didn't want to make Maria dirty and respected her decision. Hopefully one day she can let him finish inside, it will be nice to have some children with her.</p><p>
  <em>"What the fuck are you thinking right now, Levi? Stop it."</em>
</p><p>He knew he had to clean the floor eventually but now he only cared about the tired brunette, still resting her back on his desk. She was a mess, her long brown hair spread across the desk, her dress was wrinkled and unsteady. Her shoulders filled with love bites and even saliva remaining. A true masterpiece in Levi's opinion.</p><p>"Are you alright?" Levi asks as he softly helps her sit on his desk. She nods, the heat in her body slowly disappearing and again she was feeling embarrassed.</p><p>But her silence wasn't good to Levi, he always doubted himself even in these circumstances.</p><p>"Are you sure? Did I hurt you?"</p><p>"No ... I sorry Levi, I don't want to worry you," she says. "I am fine! Thank you, that was good."</p><p>Levi lets out a small smirk, the situation was quite familiar. "... I am not a whore."</p><p>The house attendant begans to move her hands rapidly across her face, heat going back to her cheeks. "No! That's not what I mean, I just-"</p><p>But before she could continue, she felt her lips being kissed by Levi again. A sweet tender kiss, full of emotions.</p><p>As he kissed her, he really cursed Erwin for requesting his presence. Levi just wanted to spend more time with Maria, especially in moments like this. He didn't want her to feel like he was just using her for sex and didn't need her afterward.</p><p>"I should be thanking you," he separated from her, as he places a soft kiss on her forehead. "Thank you for staying with me."</p><p>Maria never thought she could feel like this again. He had a delicate smile on his face, so genuine and pure. Her heart was beating fast and she felt so happy at the moment, to be the cause of that smile.</p><p>"Always."</p><p>Her words bring comfort to his broken heart and he was sad that he needed to leave so soon but Erwin must be waiting for him. Nonetheless, he first needed to make sure of something.</p><p>Levi begins to take off his brown jacket and he placed it around Maria's shoulder.</p><p>"My apologies, I left hickeys on your shoulders," Levi says. "So, make sure you wear this before leaving the office."</p><p>"Ah, you need to stop doing that," Maria looks over her shoulders, the marks should go away in a couple of days. "I don't have a lot of clothes that cover my shoulders."</p><p>It's not like Maria minded the love marks as long as they were in non-noticeable places of her body. The fact that she didn't have a lot of clothes that covered her shoulders or collarbones was also to take into consideration. She dislikes wearing the uniform pants and shirt Petra had given her since they were a bit too tight. But now that she remembers, she had some leftover fabric that was given to her by the men she met at the ball event. She could probably do some garments with that.</p><p>"We could go to town and buy you some things," Levi wanted to establish his wishes. He was just looking for an excuse to spend time with her. "And maybe ... get food or something."</p><p>"It's alright, I can sew something up, I think I have enough fabric," Maria stands up in her feet, still trembling a bit but pretended to be alright. "And we shouldn't waste too much money on food, but if you need more tea or something else let me know ... I am going with Nicholas to town on the weekend."</p><p>The brunette was completely oblivious about his words. Levi, on the other hand, was having a difficult time expressing what he wanted to do. He wanted to spend the day with her ... What was that thing called? When two people spend time together because they like each other?</p><p>"I will pay for everything, the clothes, the food," humanity's strongest soldier had an angry look on his face but this time it didn't intimidate the brunette. "And what are you going to be doing with Nicholas anyways?"</p><p>"I don't want to waste your money," Maria looks for her undergarments and was glad to find them in the floor. She puts them on, thinking about how she needs to take another bath once she gets home. "And we are going on a friendly date, we are going to eat at a cafe, maybe a bonfire at night or something ... we will be talking."</p><p><em>"Friendly my ass," </em>Levi thought as he rolled his eyes in annoyance. That was the word he was looking for. Date. He wanted to go on a date with Maria but he just didn't know how to ask her.</p><p>"And why are you telling me this?" Levi let out a teasing smirk, he wasn't planning on showing his real emotions so easily. "Are you trying to make me jealous?"</p><p>"Uh? No, would you have preferred not to know?" Maria approaches the short man who seemed not satisfied with her answer. "I just didn't want any misunderstanding ... Since I thought you care for that kind of stuff."</p><p>And he did care. Multiple times Levi has told her that he didn't like it when she was with other men. But was she going to listen to him? No. Was he going to do something against it? No, but it still bothered him.</p><p>"Tsk, I don't care ... You are not that important to me, you know?"</p><p>Maria wanted to give out a small laugh but decided to just go with the flow. She knew that Levi did not mean his words at all and he said that more out of spite that he was annoyed and didn't want her to go.</p><p>"Alright, I'll keep that in mind for next time," she teases him.</p><p>
  <em>"Next time?"</em>
</p><p>"Oi, but that doesn't you can be with him all the time," Levi says out loud as he watches the brunette pass by him, heading for the door.</p><p>"Don't you even think of holding his hand, or anything like that!" he follows her closely.</p><p>"I thought you said you didn't care," Maria turns around unexpectedly and the act surprised Levi. "And if I did ... What would you do?"</p><p>A few seconds passed in which Levi was in deep thought, of course, he would never do anything to harm her ... But he couldn't guarantee the safety of the bastard.</p><p>"Nothing ... I'll just be angry," Levi looks away, and in a slow whisper he continues, " ... And sad."</p><p>Levi couldn't believe he said that and was even surprised to show such level of vulnerability to her. It seemed like an eternity for him in which Maria showed no reaction.</p><p>But suddenly, he feels her lips against his. Sweet and gentle and all of his worries went away ... Almost all of them.</p><p>"I'll never do anything to make you feel sad, I hope you know that," Maria smiles at him as she caresses his cheek. "Just trust me alright?"</p><p>It was as if all of his worries went away, as if the pain in his heart had vanished whenever she was with him. Maria was too good for Levi and he knew that but he didn't want to think about that. He just wanted to enjoy this moment.</p><p>"I'll be leaving already, I don't want you to be late to see Erwin," Maria separates from him and Levi already missed her touch. He knew that this attachment to her was strange and maybe even unhealthy but what could he do? He was too broken to even know what was going in his mind and heart.</p><p>"Very well, I'll see you,"</p><p>The house attendant smiles as she opens the door to exit his office but strangely enough Levi felt an impulse. As his heart began to beat rapidly, his hands were sweaty and his head began to hurt.</p><p>It was strange but now that Levi thinks about it, it was always him the one leaving home and Maria waiting for him. But now it was the opposite, it was her leaving. She was leaving and as ridiculously as the situation may be ... it still had an impact on him. Just the thought of it, just the mere thought of her leaving him in any type of situation ...</p><p>"Maria!"</p><p>His deep voice interrupted her actions and the uncertainty in his eyes made her question if she had done something to make him feel at discomfort.</p><p>"You will be waiting at home right?"</p><p>She couldn't tell what it was, it was like a silent plead. As if he just needed reassurance that she was still with him, that she won't magically disappear from his life.</p><p>"Of course," Maria smiles one more time, trying to be as comforting as possible. "I'll be waiting for you."</p><p>She walks out of the office, wearing his jacket and Levi watched her disappear into the distance. He mentally curses at Erwin for having to interrupt such a perfect moment between the two.</p><p>Just what the hell was going on with him?</p><p>His emotions were wrecked, at moments he knew what he felt, and at others, he didn't. He was terrified that everything could change in one moment. That if he lets his guard down even for a second, life will take everything away from him just like before. He was even more scared because he knew that his feelings for Maria were just stronger like that and the moment he loses her ... What would it become of him? Would he be able to stand it and continue with his life?</p><p>He wanted to keep a distance between the two, thinking that was the healthiest and best thing for both of them. But whenever they were together and alone, those thoughts disappear. Whenever he is with her, all of his worries go away as she comforts him in ways he never knew possible.</p><p>And he could only hope, only wish that his heart will hurry and decide what to do next.</p><p>There many things he needed to figure out but now it didn't matter, he just wanted to hurry up and end with today's work.</p><p>Maria was waiting for him at home and he didn't want to make her wait for too long.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I have nothing much to say about this chapter, it could be a 'filler' episode if you want to see it like that. We are just building up stuff for the next thing to come. We have great things coming, Elise is a smart woman, so her plan will be elaborate. Slowly we are starting to see that Levi is changing and finally starting to embrace his feelings even when he is scared. He is trying to be intimate with Maria but he fails and it makes him feel embarrassed. Levi has only been in one relationship and it was with Elise. She's toxic and well, Levi doesn't know how to properly act in a 'relationship.' He doesn't know about dating nor things like that and that's why he is also scared that he might mess up and end up hurting Maria.</p><p>I also enjoyed writing about Maria and Hange and their friendship. I've always seen Hange as a great woman but I wanted to see a more humane side of her by giving her insecurities because at the end of the day we all have them.</p><p>I have something major prepared for the next chapter so I hope you all don't miss it! It will be filled with fluff/angst/comfort moments. Also, I hope the 'heated' scenes are of you all's liking. I wanted to highlight their relationship by making it cute and sexy.</p><p>I missed a lot of things I wanted to write like Erwin's ceremony to become the next Commander and Nicholas and Maria's date (But if I included that, this chapter will be 20K words and it will be too long) Hopefully, I will implement that in the next chapter.</p><p>Levi is a character that needs development and on next chapter we are finally going to see more of that. So, I hope I am not boring you all with my long chapters and slow pacing of the story but starting next chapter things will get spicy!</p><p>Once again, I encourage comments and constructive criticism, they motivate me a lot and help me improve too! Thank you so much for reading and I'll see you all next week!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Truth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Levi went back to Erwin's office, he didn't expected to get invited to town on the weekend. Apparently, the Commanders of the other military sections wanted to talk to him before he takes over the Survey Corps. Erwin needed and wanted to go ... But not alone.</p><p>"Do I really have to go?" Levi asks, he was standing up facing Erwin who sat behind his desk.</p><p>"Well, it would be good for you to make connections with the other Commanders," Erwin notices that Levi wasn't wearing his brown jacket, which was strange because an hour ago he was wearing it. "Also, I would enjoy your company."</p><p>"Where would it be?"</p><p>"Probably at a bar or tavern, it's nothing special."</p><p>He didn't want to go, he really wasn't one for meetings. Also, he didn't want to go to a bar, he enjoyed drinking from time to time but he wasn't one to get drunk. Although drinking helps him sleep, he preferred to stay home and drink black tea. Maybe even continue teaching Maria how to read and write-</p><p>"Wait, when are we going?"</p><p>"This weekend,"</p><p>Now, this was more interesting. He knew he shouldn't but if there was a small possibility of seeing what type of 'date' Maria and Nicholas would be having, then he will take it. He wasn't going to follow them or anything like. But he also enjoyed the idea that maybe Maria would get jealous. If they are going to a tavern or a bar, there would definitely be women around.  And of course, he was going to highlight that in tonight's conversation.</p><p>"Fine, but if you get drunk I'll leave you there," Levi says already thinking of leaving for the day.</p><p>"Seems fair," meanwhile, Erwin was unsure if he should ask him or not. About why he seemed more agitated than usual, in the sense that his hair was a mess, his shirt wrinkled and it wasn't tucked in like it usually is. It had been just an hour ago since he saw him and he was sure he already knew the answer to Levi's current state.</p><p>"So, how are things going with Maria?" Erwin decided to just word his question differently. "Have you figured out how you feel yet?"</p><p>"Why are you asking?" Levi was on the defensive now. Like always, he just hated it when people would meddle in his business. Even if it was Erwin.</p><p>"I talked to her, she is a nice young lady," the blond man says. "I can see why you have an interest in her."</p><p>"We are nothing serious," Levi responded as he tried to end the conversation quickly so he could go back home already. <br/>
But there was a silence and Levi hated it because he could feel Erwin's eyes on him. He was analyzing him and the situation at hand.</p><p>"You are afraid aren't you?" After a few seconds, Erwin speaks up, sure of his words. "That one day she will disappear or leave you?"</p><p>He hated it every time Erwin would tell him the truth in his face. And all Levi could do was to stay quiet, waiting for Erwin to finish whatever he needed to say.</p><p>"I have to admit that I sometimes, I see myself in you ... I also love someone," Erwin says. "But I had to let her go because I didn't want to hurt her ... Now she is happily married and expecting a child."</p><p>Erwin sees Levi who had his arms across his chest, he was listening to him and patiently waited for him to continue.</p><p>"And to be honest with you, I sometimes regret it," Erwin continues as he keeps looking at Levi in the eyes. "But knowing that she is happy and safe it's enough for me."</p><p>"What I am trying to say is that you should try and be happy with-"</p><p>"Doesn't it hurt?" Levi interrupts him and although the question startled Erwin just for a tiny second, he still wanted to answer it.</p><p>"Yes, but her happiness is more important to me," Erwin continues. " ... But sometimes I wish, I could be with her."</p><p>Once again, his mind and heart were at battle. His mind was telling him that he should stay away from Maria or that he should keep his distance with her. As to not harm her and not to get attached. He was terrified of the thought of getting attached and Maria leaving. Even right now when his feelings are unclear, he was uncomfortable with the idea of Maria staying away from him.</p><p>However, his heart was telling him something else. It wasn't thinking logically. Whenever he would see her, he would want to hold her hand, hug her, caress her hair, and tell everyone that she was his. Only his and he wanted to be hers only.</p><p>And he could only wonder ... No, he knew that his heart was fucking him up. Because he had strong feelings for her but he didn't want to admit, no that has to be impossible. He just wanted for things to continue the way they were, for them to being intimate and spending time together. How was that wrong?</p><p>Oh yes, it would be selfish of him to make Maria wait for him and make her lose the opportunity she has at happiness with Nicholas.</p><p>Why? Why was it so hard for his mind and heart to communicate?</p><p>"Levi ... Don't make decisions that you might regret later."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>The week ran smoothly except for small things. Of course, many things had to be done. It has been a week since the titans breached Wall Maria and everyone wondered about the future. It even scared some people that at any day given, the titans would come again.</p><p>But for now, everyone needed to continue their duties. Although Erwin was not yet Commander of the Survey Corps, he had already talked about his interest in exploring soon Wall Maria and see if there is an opportunity to close the wall.</p><p>And as to maintain their good physic and not go rusty. Everyone who survived the recent outside the wall expedition and who was not injured was required to go back to training.</p><p>"If you still need me to bathe you, don't you think it's better if you stop going to training and rest for a bit?"</p><p>Levi was doing all better, and if he was being completely honest, he didn't need Maria's help. Nonetheless, he really enjoyed her bathing him and would come up with the excuse that he was still very hurt and needed her to help him bathe. Besides that, this was probably the last bath he was going to have with her. It was Friday, tomorrow she would go with Nicholas on their stupid date. On Monday she will be leaving to Hange's squad house to attend them until their house attendant is back from the refugee facility. It was part of his stupid punishment and he just wanted to enjoy her company as much as he could.</p><p>"You will be leaving in two days, so I might as well use you while I can," Levi says as he feels that Maria began to massage his scalp with soap.</p><p>"Use me?"</p><p>Levi really needed to stop referring to people as objects, especially her. It was just difficult for him to express his feelings and not come off as a total jerk.</p><p>"Well, not use more like-"</p><p>"No, it's alright, I understand," Maria's voice changed and even her hands' movements changed in mannerism. They were soft, almost non-existent. "I am sorry, I need to um-"</p><p>Levi didn't know what was going on and why the brunette had suddenly stop. But a few seconds passed in which there was no movement, no words. She was behind him but Levi didn't dare to look at her, scared that he might hate what he sees.</p><p>"Do you think you can finish bathing yourself? I am sorry, I don't feel good today," Maria asks trying to control her tears as she wanted to break at any second.</p><p>"Yes, you may leave," he responds quietly and at his words the brunette suddenly stands up from the wooden seat and heads towards the door, never looking back at Levi.</p><p>She exited the bathroom, she didn't want to see his face nor wanted him to see her.</p><p>Maria tried containing the tears until she came out of the house, it was dark and cold.</p><p>She said that it didn't matter if Levi loved her or not ... but it still hurts her immensely.</p><p>She had no intention of breaking her promise of always loving him. But she had to admit that it still hurts whenever she was reminded that Levi did not reciprocate her feelings. Levi would sometimes act strangely, he was sometimes distant, and other times he would be gentle. Delicate and strong. And there was a part of Maria who thought that everything was a farce. That his kind and charming words were part of his plan to just keep sleeping with her.</p><p>And she didn't want to think like that. Maria wanted to think that Levi wasn't that type of man and that he had honor when it came to that.</p><p>This was the type of thing Maria knew she would be handling the moment she accepted his proposal. She didn't care if Levi would break her heart but it still hurts.</p><p>And that's why she needed to leave the house for a moment because she didn't want Levi to see her like that, she didn't want to make him feel guilty.</p><p>Her eyes began to blurry as her tears began to fill her eyes. The outside candlelight provided enough light for her to see but there was nothing that could stop her tears from coming out.</p><p>When was the last time she felt like this? Since Nicholas didn't show up at the wedding? Since he left her? How much could she love? That it pained her to this extent?</p><p>She heard a horse galloping, coming closer to her, and quickly she began to wipe away her tears. Her eyes became fixated towards the person riding the horse, it was someone she knew very well.</p><p>"Hey, Nicholas, what brings you here?" Maria asks with a fake smile on her face as Nicholas comes down from his horse. He approached her and he immediately knew that there was something wrong.</p><p>"Hange needed some documents from Captain Levi and I offered to come as an excuse to see you," he says, he tried to stay as calm as possible. "Seems like I came at a good time."</p><p>Maria was still faking her smile and Nicholas looks at her with a sad face. He just knew that she was lying and that she was hiding something from him.</p><p>"You used to cry with me all the time," the redhead says with a soft voice, "Don't stop yourself now."</p><p>And suddenly, her smile began to disappear as her eyes began to water again.</p><p>"Can we talk now?"</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Nicholas didn't know that it was going to hurt this much. But as Maria began to explain what happened during the last months, he began to understand. He knew that something was going between Captain Levi and Maria but he didn't know it was going to be this severe.</p><p>The house attendant had fallen in love with the worst man possible, she had made love with him and had spent moments of intimacy with him.</p><p>His heart broke and for a second he wanted to let a tear but he didn't have the time to think about himself. After all, Maria always spoke clearly to him. She didn't have any feelings of love for him anymore.</p><p>And he knew that, but it still hurts to know that Maria had picked Levi over him.</p><p>She picked a man who didn't think about her feelings at all.</p><p>"It's not fair and you know that," Nicholas and Maria were sitting on the grass, in front of the river. "What about your needs? What about your wants?"</p><p>"They don't matter ... I only want his happiness," she responded and he quickly began to feel anger rise within him.</p><p>"It doesn't matter?" Nicholas looks away, the sound of the water flowing down the river was always comforting but at the moment he couldn't find comfort in anything.</p><p>"Maria, you are disrespecting yourself, you are disrespecting me, your friends, and even your brother," the redhead says. "You are disrespecting everyone who cares or cared about your happiness."</p><p>At the moment, the only thing that was providing light for the couple was the moon and the stars. The sounds of crickets and nocturnal birds, and the water flowing were the only things that could be heard.</p><p>"He makes me happy," Maria tries to make eye contact but she found it difficult as Nicholas seems to be fixated to look away.</p><p>"Happy? Do you call this happiness? Because if you do, then your vision is fucked up," Nicholas was trying his best to contain his feelings, to contain his rage but at the moment it was the most difficult thing to do.</p><p>"After everything you went through, after everything ... The tears, the nightmares, the anxiety."</p><p>But how can't he feel anger? When he still has nightmares about what happened to Maria years ago?</p><p>"Don't you think it's fair for you to want to be happy?"</p><p>Maria was quiet and he hated that, he wanted some type of reaction coming from her. But he knew she was quiet because she knew that he was telling the truth.</p><p>"What I am trying to say is that you should be selfish, you should want more out of life," the redhead was still looking away, not wanting for Maria to see the tear the threaten to come out of his eye. "A week ago you told me that you wanted to start living for yourself ... But look at you now ..."</p><p>And Maria knew what was happening. Maria knew Nicholas too well, she knew that he was emotional like that and on rare occasions, he would hide it. Especially since in their relationship they were always open about their feelings. And she had to admit that she was embarrassed, she was feeling ashamed for everything.</p><p>"Is this the life that you want? Really? You are disappointing me," Nicholas knew he had no right. He didn't have any right of telling her this, but his feelings were completely wrecked, absolutely broken. "If your brother was alive he would be disappointed too."</p><p>"Don't talk about my brother!" she screamed at him as she was begging him to look at her.</p><p>"Look at me in the eyes and tell me if your brother wouldn't be saddened by this?" Nicholas suddenly turns around, facing her. His eyes were like crystals as tears filled them. His voice was threatening but he would never harm her. "Would he be happy? By you crying about a man who has no feelings for you?"</p><p>Maria broke down in that instant because she knew that Nicholas was right. Her heart broke the moment his blue eyes met her caramel ones, they were both so vulnerable at the moment.</p><p>"How selfish can he be? Making you go through all of this pain?" Nicholas puts his strong hands on her shoulders and he moves her softly as if he tried to put some sense into her head. "If he had feelings for you, he would have never done that, he wouldn't put you through this."</p><p>"Stop," Maria didn't want to hear it, the truth.</p><p>"And it hurts you because you know it, you know that if Levi loved you he wouldn't want you to go through this," but Nicholas wasn't going to stop. He knew that the truth hurts but it was better than to live in a lie. He just wanted Maria to be happy but this happiness was going to be short-lived.</p><p>"He doesn't show it because he is scared ... He has lost a lot of people, friends, family. He is just scared!" She didn't want to hear it, it was something she was avoiding for so long and she wasn't ready to hear it. But it seems like Nicholas was focused on telling her the truth.</p><p>"Maria, if he loved you he would put his fears aside for you and he doesn't!" Nicholas felt his voice crack but he still tried to be strong for her. He needed for her to see the truth, to see that she was wrong. "If he loved you he would try to make you happy by being in a relationship with you instead of hiding you as if you were a whore!"</p><p>"But Levi has told me! He has told me that he doesn't want to hide me-" Maria was a complete mess, her eyes were red, her voice cracked by every word. She just wanted to believe in Levi, how was that wrong?</p><p>Nicholas didn't want this and he blamed Levi for everything. For all the lies, for making someone like Maria his. He didn't know he could hate a man so much. Nicholas felt anger and disappointment because deep down he had hope that the Captain was different. But Levi was just a selfish bastard.</p><p>"Lies! If he didn't want to hide you he would have accepted to be in a formal relationship with you by now!"</p><p>And he kept watching her cry as he pulls her closer to him. Embracing her, her heartbeat against his. Her tears soaking his white shirt as he caresses her hair.</p><p>"If he loved you ... He wouldn't have any doubts about being with you," he whispers in her ear, blaming himself for making her cry. Nicholas knew he was being cruel with her but this was necessary. "But he does, he has all the doubts, all the fears, and insecurities ... Because he simply doesn't love you."</p><p>"I just want to make him happy," her heart broke, her feelings were a mess but she knew that she needed to hear this. Deep down she always knew ... That she was living an impossible dream. "His happiness is my happiness."</p><p>"And I know you do ... But don't you think there are other ways to make him happy?" Nicholas took a sniff of her hair, she smelled like lavender just like always.</p><p>"I know he doesn't love me," Maria tried to articulate words even when the crying made it complicated." But how can I stop loving him when he has shown me so much? When I feel so happy when I am with him? How his simple acts make me feel so special?"</p><p>And they were things that Maria would never talk about with Levi. About the way Levi cares for her. Like the time Levi stayed up all night writing down new words for her to learn. Like the time she mentioned she liked grapes and Levi walked for hours in the rain just to find a tree of grapes for her. Or how he would go to her room at night just to make sure she wasn't cold.</p><p>There were small things that Levi would never admit he did. But Maria knew it was him, his smalls action and how they talked. He sounded so sincere, and he would show her his vulnerable side.</p><p>Were all of those actions a lie too?</p><p>"I know we are done, I know that what we had its broken and we could never have what we used to," Nicholas caresses her hair, softly. "I know I was wrong in kissing you, and in wanting to court you again ... and I am sorry."</p><p>"You know I will never be able to make up for what I did to you, everything is my fault and I know it," Nicholas let himself go as he began to let tears roll down his face. "And even I know that a part of you hates me ... For what happened to you, for leaving."</p><p>"But when I tell you that I love you! I wholeheartedly do!" He separates from her as he looks intensely at her eyes. "I love you to the point that it hurts, I love you to the point to let you go."</p><p>"And I hate him, I hate him because he will never love you as much as I do! I hate him because he makes you cry! Because he makes you go through this!" Nicholas places his strong hands on her face as he wipes away the tears with his thumbs. "He would never be able to let you go so you can be happy, he doesn't deserve you and neither do I but-"</p><p>"It's always been you and me, always," Nicholas appreciated her face. Her crying was terrible, her face was red and ugly but he didn't care. "Can't you be happy with me? Just you and me ..."</p><p>"I promised him that I would always love him that I would never leave him ... And I plan to keep that promise."</p><p>"And you can keep doing that, you can keep loving him, you can stay with him," Nicholas gets closer to her face. "You can love him and stay by his side as his friend, as his companion ... You don't have to give your body nor your soul to him ... and if he really cares about you, he won't mind."</p><p>
  <em>"But I am scared ... That if we do this ... I may end up falling in love with you."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"That is something I can't stop ... I won't force you to do anything you don't want to do ... We can stop whenever you want."</em>
</p><p>Suddenly, she remembers their talk. The night at the dance event. His words, his feelings ... the first moment Levi was completely honest with her and maybe the last.</p><p>Did she already make him happy? Was giving herself enough for him? Was her job done? If she lets go of him ... Would he be alright with that?</p><p>"Maria ... live for yourself," Nicholas starts getting closer to her, she could feel his breath on her lips. "If he loves you ... He will let you go ... Just for you to be happy."</p><p>Nicholas wanted to kiss her but as he leaned in to close the gap between them, Maria pushes him away softly. She moved her head side to side, denying him. Although her act pained him, he understood.</p><p>"Don't ... You know it will end badly for us," Maria caresses his face as she wiped away his tears. "Can you just hug me?"</p><p>And of course, he could. He will hug her as many times as she wanted, for eternity if necessary.</p><p>The stars and moon shone above them, the wind blows across them, making their aromas mix together. Their hearts beat at the same rhythm, they cry together. Their feelings were poured out, expressing each other with cries, tears, and contact. They needed comfort, they needed to feel that they matter to someone, to each other.</p><p>And Nicholas knew that Maria won't stop loving Levi just like he won't stoping loving Maria.</p><p>And Maria needed time, just to figure out her feelings and wants. She knew that she won't stop loving Levi but just how much her love could hold onto? To what extent did her love for Levi go?</p><p>She didn't know but she begged to everything divine that her love could last a lifetime.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Levi tried not to go crazy. But he had to admit that he was having a difficult time holding himself together. He was trying to be strong as his team was sitting in front of him, watching his every action.</p><p>"I am sure Maria is fine, she likes to take midnight walks," Petra tried to reassure her Captain as she noticed that he was starting to worry. "Right, Eld?"</p><p>Eld looks up to Petra, he was sitting in front of her and although he tried to keep a positive attitude, he was even worried.</p><p>"Um yeah! If anything we could look for her," Eld looks over to Levi. He knew that when it came to the brunette, Levi was quick to panic. But even he had to admit that he was deeply worried about her.</p><p>"Can we all just stop lying already?" Oluo interrupted the scene as he slams his hand on the dinner table. "She is being out for two hours! There is a fucking horse outside!"</p><p>"What if she got kidnapped or something?" Gunther also stepped into the conversation. "You know there was been a lot of kidnappings recently, family members of the Survey Corps-"</p><p>"Gunther!" Petra interrupts him and she looks back to the Captain.</p><p>How long has it been since he felt this way? He always had moments in which his hands would sweat, his body would tremble and he felt the need to harm himself. His abandonment issues, suicidal thoughts, panic attacks ... He has always dealt with that quietly. He didn't want anyone to know, that dark side of him.</p><p>But right now it was become extremely difficult to hide that.</p><p><em>"I need to see her ... I need to know she is alright," </em>Levi had many thoughts but he knew that seeing her would be the only thing to calm him down. Strangely enough, shortly after Maria arrived the first time at the house, his panic attacks and suicidal thoughts decreased greatly.</p><p>But whenever she left, whenever he thinks she left him ... It came back with a greater force.</p><p><em>"She can't leave, she can't leave, she promised me,"</em> Levi tried to reassure himself as he felt he didn't have control over his body. He began to feel that he couldn't breathe, that his hands trembled without his knowledge. <em>"Stand up, look for her."</em></p><p>But his body wouldn't move, even when he tried so har to.</p><p>"Let's all go look for her," Eld says as he stands up and everyone follows. "I'll look in the river and Petra you look in-"</p><p>But suddenly the door opens and the brunette walks in, all eyes on her.</p><p>"Maria!" it was Petra the first one to react as she ran to meet the house attendant as everyone follows.</p><p>"Where were you? We were so worried-" but she stops herself as she noticed that Maria wasn't looking her best. Her brown eyes were swollen, red and her face was pale looking. "Have you been crying? What happened?"</p><p>"No, I am sorry ... It's just my allergies," Maria says as she fakes another smile. "I am sorry, I was just taking a walk and got distracted."</p><p>"And the horse that was outside?" Elds steps in, he was extremely worried about her.</p><p>"It was Nicholas' horse, I took a walk with him and we just talked for too long."</p><p>"Oí! At least let us know next time you are leaving, we were about to look for you!" Oluo says.</p><p>"Yes, the Captain was also very worried about you, right Levi?" Everyone turns around to look over at humanity's strongest soldier but at that moment he stands up.</p><p>He walks over the group who were standing in front of the door.</p><p>"Where the fuck were you?" Levi asks with a cold voice and his words surprised everyone. "What were you doing with him?"</p><p>But it was quiet, for the brunette it was hard to formulate an answer at the moment.</p><p>Levi on the other hand was living through hell, his mind still not accepting the fact that she was here.</p><p>"I asked you a fucking question, answer me!"</p><p>"Captain Levi!" Eld was the one to snap at him and try to make him stop from saying something else. "I think Maria had enough for the night and wants to rest."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>It was around 3 am and Maria couldn't get a wink of sleep. It was mostly due that she couldn't stop thinking about Levi. He had never spoken to her like that and if she was being completely honest, it did hurt. But there was something in his eyes, on his facial expression that Maria couldn't quite describe. A sense of panic and fear, something she had never seen before in his face at least not to that extent.</p><p>And strangely enough, it felt familiar.</p><p>Maria stood up from her bed looking down at her white long nightgown. She wanted to talk to Levi and knowing him, he was probably awake at the dinner table.</p><p>But he wasn't, him not being there surprised the brunette and decided to investigate further. As she approached his room, she could hear strange sounds coming from the inside. Exasperated breathings of pain and panic.</p><p>It wasn't normal. As her heart began to worry about his safety, she opens the door, not caring about a reprimand later on.</p><p>Levi never locks his door, knowing that everyone was too scared of him to even try to get inside his room without permission.</p><p>Maria found him next to his bed on the floor. Sweating incredibly, his whole body trembling, his eyes red, nose bleeding. His knuckles bleeding while little small drops of blood were left on the floor next to him.</p><p>And Maria instantly knew what was happening. She knew because she had experienced it before too. After she was abused she would have constant nights of panic attacks, moments in which air will leave her lungs, her whole body sweating, and moments in which tears wouldn't stop. Moments in which she would pull her hair, slap herself, and thought of self-harming in other ways.</p><p>The difference between her and Levi was that Nicholas was there to support her through the process and bring her back to reality.</p><p>But who did Levi had? No one ... until now.</p><p>Maria gives out a heavy sigh, not out of annoyance but out of understanding. She closed the door behind her as Levi seemed to not understand completely what was going on. He felt embarrassed for her to see him in such a manner but his body wouldn't move on its own even when he had tried to stop. It was as if his mind was disconnected from reality and there was nothing, absolutely nothing he could do.</p><p>Levi continues pulling his hair out of desperation, impacting his fist against the ground with a great force. Breathing heavily as he felt that he could pass out at any moment. Tears wouldn't stop coming out of eyes, he just felt like he was dying, a slow painful death.</p><p>And as he was about to punch the floor again, he felt a hand stop him. The act surprised him and although he wanted to move away, he couldn't.</p><p>Maria grabs his other hand and held them tightly with both of her hands.</p><p>"It's ok, just breath with me," Maria felt how Levi's hand trembled in hers as they sat down on the floor. "You can get through this."</p><p>The brunette begins to softly caress his hands. Maria took heavy breaths, breathing in and breathing out as a way for Levi to follow her steps.</p><p>And he does, as he felt that his mind was concentrating on Maria's voice. It was slow and soothing, something that he needed at the moment.</p><p>"That's it, continue like that," Maria says as she slowly moves next to him, this time she wraps one arm around his shoulders trying to bring him comfort. Slowly, she moves his head into her neck, letting him rest his head on her shoulder. She takes one of his hands and places it on her chest as a way for him to feel her heartbeat and respiration rhythm.</p><p>His body was still shaking but his body began to relax a little more as he took a sniff of Maria's lavender smell. As he follows her breathing and felt her heartbeat on his hand.</p><p>Levi didn't know what it was, nor why he was so attached to her. It was as if his body activated a new sense in him, a sense of protection and comfort whenever she was with him.</p><p>He has always had moments like this, they were at random and sometimes something will trigger it. But there were very few moments in which his panic attacks were this strong in intensity.</p><p>His body began to calm down as he felt Maria's hand softly caressing his hair, something he enjoyed. His face against her neck, smelling her lavender smell. Her heartbeat against the palm of his hand made his mind go back to control his body.</p><p>He was exhausted, emotionally, and physically. There was nothing more comforting at the moment knowing that she was here. That's all he needed, that's all he wanted ... Just her and him, just exactly like this.</p><p>For now, he could forget about everything, his abandonment issues, his panic attacks, his emotional and psychological problems. None of that existed, at the moment he lived in the perfect place. A brief moment of comfort, of a comfort Maria could only bring him.</p><p>He closes his eyes as he tries to enjoy the moment just for a little bit longer. Just like this, just him falling asleep on her arms.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Levi opens his eyes wide open the moment he wakes up. It was early morning and with no other thoughts in mind he stands up from the bed. Quick flashbacks of the night before popped in his mind and he didn't hesitate to stand up from his bed and head outside his room. Although he felt more relaxed, his mind still wanders around thinking why the brunette wasn't next to him when he woke up.</p><p>He heard sounds coming from the kitchen and he didn't think twice to check to see if it was her.</p><p>And indeed it was her. It seems like she was about to exit out the kitchen the moment he entered because she was holding into a basket of dirty clothes.</p><p>"Oh, good morning Levi," she says smiling as he stays quiet for a few seconds. "How are your wounds?"</p><p>He woke up so fast that he didn't realize he had some bandages around his hands, especially in the knuckles area. It didn't take him long to figure out that Maria had wrapped up his hands.</p><p>Levi stood quiet again and Maria took his silence as a way for her to continue talking.</p><p>"I made you some white rice, it's still warm in the pot and I boiled some water in case you want to make yourself some tea-"</p><p>"Why? Where are you going?"</p><p>His voice was fast and there was a bit of concern that intrigued the brunette.</p><p>"I am going to the river to wash some clothes then I'll come back and finish cleaning the house before I leave for tonight to town," Maria spoke softly as she walks past Levi who followed her with his eyes. "Would you be alright?"</p><p>There were many things he wanted to say. He wanted to apologize for the way he spoke to her yesterday and thank her for the way she comforted him last night. However, he couldn't organize his thoughts nor formulate words.</p><p>"Yes," he simply says and that calmed the brunette. He appreciated that she didn't mention his acts of the last night, it was something Levi didn't want to talk about at the moment.</p><p>"Good, I'll be back as soon as I can," she smiles at him as she walks away. "If you need anything you know where to find me."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>The brunette didn't have much to think about, well that was a lie. There were many things she needed to figure out but there were so many that she felt overwhelmed.</p><p>She just wanted to enjoy this moment she had for herself. A moment of privacy and quietness was needed sometimes.</p><p>Maria was aware that starting next Monday, she was going to stay a couple of weeks at the house of Hange's squad. Although she didn't like the idea of leaving Levi, she had to admit that maybe having distance will help her clear her mind. To figure out what she wants to do next with their 'strange' relationship. Well not strange, they were basically friends with benefits or partners for pleasure only.</p><p>The question here was whether she wanted to continue with that type of relationship or not.</p><p>She was washing the dress that Levi gave her, she tried to be as delicate as possible as to not tear off the fabric. On the distance, she could hear horses coming towards her. Three female soldiers, all of them wearing Survey Corps uniform. Maria stood up from the ground, holding onto the wet dress. She watched the female soldiers dismount their horses, and walk towards her.</p><p>"Good morning, how may I help you-"</p><p>"Are you Maria?" one of the women interrupted the brunette, it was in a rude manner which surprised Maria.</p><p>"Yes," Maria responded as she looks over the other soldiers. A woman with short brown hair, another one with long black hair, and the other one standing in front of her with her black hair in a ponytail, blue beautiful eyes.</p><p>"Oh, so it's true!" the woman turns around to her friends. "Rumours has it that Captain Levi has a new toy ... And seems like they weren't wrong."</p><p>"Going out of Captain's office wearing his jacket?" the woman with short hair says as she gets closer to her friends. "Wow, what a whore."</p><p>"Look, girl, we have nothing against you. We are just here to warn you," the woman with black hair says as she gets closer to Maria, putting an arm around her shoulders. "Captain Levi gets a new toy once in a while, Elise for example ... She was his toy for the longest time."</p><p>"She was in so much pain after they broke up, we just don't want that to happen to you," the third woman who had stayed silent finally spoke up. "Your in everybody's mouth too! Do you think is worth it to give up your reputation for a man?"</p><p>"It really isn't, and I am telling you based on my experience." the woman with blue eyes said as she looks over to Maria. "We don't know what it is about Captain Levi but he has terrible taste when it comes to picking women ... they are mostly obsessive ... like Elise ... like us."</p><p>Her words took the brunette by surprise, did she really have to deal with them too?</p><p>"What? Did you think Levi has only slept with Elise before?"</p><p>And suddenly, the woman takes away the dress Maria had in her hands and pushes her into the ground.</p><p><em>"Great, just what I needed," </em>Maria thought as she stood up from the ground, a small scratch on her arm. <em>"Levi ... You really pick the worst women to sleep with."</em></p><p>"Do you all really want to fight for a man?" Maria says, not caring anymore if they do something against her. "Tavern dancers, whores like me fight for men all the time ... But all of you are soldiers, I thought of you all differently ..."</p><p>Maria walks over to the woman who pushed her and stared into her cold blue eyes. "It makes me wonder who the true whores are in here."</p><p>At her words, the female soldiers gaze at her with hate and the woman with blue eyes didn't hesitate to tear-off the dress she was holding into her hands.</p><p>Maria's eyes winded in surprise as the dress was the one that Levi had gifted her.</p><p>"Well, let's see what you got ... whore,"</p><p>Maria was about to throw the first punch but the strong sound of a horse's neigh interrupted the act. Everyone's attention was headed into the beautiful woman dismounting her horse. Tall, blond, fierce blue eyes. Maria knew her very well.</p><p>Elise Dietrich.</p><p><em>"Great ... just exactly what I needed," </em>Maria thought. She was in trouble just a few moments ago, but now she was definitely in hell.</p><p>Especially when Elise had warned Maria to stay away from Levi.</p><p>"Squad leader Schneider, good to see you here," Elise said with a teasing smile. "Last time I saw you was during our fighting training session ... Would you like a rematch?"</p><p>"Maybe ... but not right now," the woman says with a smile as she throws the torn-off dress at Maria. She turns around to look at her friends. "We have better things to do anyways ... Let's get going."</p><p>Elise waited for the three women to gallop away before turning to face Maria. She stood quiet and looks at her up and down.</p><p>"Let's have a talk."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Maria was surprised that they were actually talking. She thought that she would be left bleeding on the grass but instead, Elise and her were sitting on the grass, in front of the river ... Talking.</p><p>"I want to apologize to you, I've realized now that what I did to you was wrong," Elise says, she keeps her eyes on the water flowing across the river. "All I want now is for Levi to be happy."</p><p>But the brunette could not believe her, not yet. Although Elise had rushed in to help her, there was something off about the beautiful woman.</p><p>"Can I ask you something?" Maria asks as she turns around to face Elise who immediately nods. "Why the sudden change of heart?"</p><p>"The day of the outside the wall expedition ... I saw how Levi looked at you ... The way he rushed in to save you," her sky blue eyes seemed sad and even nostalgic for a moment. "The desperation in his eyes and how drastically they changed when he held you ... I could tell ... that his feelings for you were strong."</p><p>Maria didn't know if it was the way she spoke or the way her eyes shone with regret.</p><p>"I love Levi ... So, I just want to see him happy."</p><p>There was a silence, one in which Maria only focused on her face. She seems to be in deep thought and Maria only waited for the blond one to continue.</p><p>"I know what I did was terrible and I will never be able to apologize enough but ... I am asking for one chance to prove to you just how deeply sorry I am."</p><p>This time Elise turns around, intimidating Maria just a bit with the intensity of her blue eyes.</p><p>"And it's alright if you don't want to forgive me ... all I am asking is that from now on you stay at Levi's side."</p><p>Her words showed so much regret and sincerity that Maria even felt guilty for thinking so badly of her. The way her eyes wanted to cry, the way her strong body trembled every once in a while ... She was deeply sorry.</p><p>Even like this, Elise was still very beautiful. Maria's insecurities began to build up inside of her and how couldn't she? Elise's blond wavy hair shone against the sunlight, her skin looks incredibly pretty even when she wasn't wearing makeup, only her red natural lips, and pinky cheeks. Her blue eyes always showed a sense of sadness but they were fierce nonetheless.</p><p><em>"How in the hell did Levi even paid attention to me?"</em> Maria thought as she kept looking at her. <em>"She is so smart and beautiful ... And she is not a bad person ... She just loves him too much."</em></p><p>"It's fine, I think I kinda understand you," Maria looks away this time, a bit embarrassed to be in such a state in front of such a beautiful person. "You will do anything for him, wouldn't you? You really have the strength to let him go?"</p><p>"I admire that ... At this point, even if I mean nothing to him ... I don't know if I would be capable of leaving him," it was strange but Maria felt a connection with her. "Is it wrong? To love him this much?"</p><p>"I'll be honest with you, Levi is a hard man to love but once you do it's impossible to go back," even when all of this was a farce, Elise felt kinda comfortable with the brunette. "He makes you feel special, doesn't he? He fights for you and he does things he wouldn't do for others?"</p><p>Maria's heart skipped a beat as for a moment she thought that Elise could read her mind.</p><p>"I am sorry to break it to you but Levi is just like that," the beautiful woman looks away as she lets out a small laugh.</p><p>"He is secretly nice to everyone even if it's unintentionally ... Once I saw him talk to soldier all day about how his wife left him and Levi didn't even know the guy but he still comforted him."</p><p>Elise grabs a small pebble and throws it into the river and watched it bounce off into the distance.</p><p>"You are not special, you just think you are because no one has ever treated you the way Levi has," she says. "Levi is the special one ... Fighting and trying to be nice from time to time even when he fails ... Not everyone can do that."</p><p>There was a silence again and Maria couldn't help but think just how simple of a person she actually was. That's right, maybe she wasn't special to him, maybe ... That's why he never meant to have a serious relationship with her.</p><p>"But I guess that's why we fell in love with him."</p><p>"Was he like that with you too?" Maria asks as she interrupted the blond woman. "Did he hold your hand in public? Would he sleep on your chest? Did he tell you how happy you made him?"</p><p><em>"No," </em>Elise thought but of course she couldn't say that out loud.</p><p>"Yes," Elise replies almost instantly. "He may not admit it but we had something special ... Everyone thinks that we only had sex but ... Levi and I had a good relationship based on trust and we loved each other ... but relationships can't just be based out of love."</p><p>"Can I ask you one more thing?"</p><p>Elise nods, happy to see that the brunette believes her lies.</p><p>"Why did you two break up?"</p><p>The brunette gazed at Elise's eyes and without much thought, the beautiful woman responded.</p><p>"I wanted to make our relationship public but Levi just wanted to stay a secret," she says. "He would always say that I was the best thing that happened to him so ... Why would he hide me? We just had different plans for the relationship and well ... That's why we broke up."</p><p>
  <em>"I don't want to hide you ... How could I ever hide the best thing that happened to me?"</em>
</p><p>His words clashed in her mind as she remembered what happened a few days ago. Tears threatened to come out of her eyes but she stopped herself, knowing that it would be humiliating to do so in front of Elise.</p><p><em>"I didn't expect for her to fall so easily, oh well better for me ... I need to thank Leon</em><em>e</em><em> and her friends later for helping me out," </em>Elise thought as she tried her best to stop a smile forming in her face.</p><p>On the other hand, Maria knew that she was in big trouble. That her heart will be destined to suffer from his indifference. And she was scared and terrified that one day she will leave him, that she won't be able to keep her promise to Levi. The promise she made to him of loving him and staying with him forever no matter what.</p><p>But just how much pain can she endure until she has to let go?</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Levi wanted to be in any place but this one. The burping of old men after drinking beer, the loud live music in the background, the bad service, dirty table and floors, people screaming at each other as they couldn't hear due to loud music.</p><p>There were candle lights everywhere as it helped illuminate the room during the night. His mind was flying in all directions but the conversation at hand. He was only there because Erwin had ask him to come and in all honestly he didn't think it was going to be that bad. After all, they were talking with the other commanders of the military sections. But it seemed to be all the contrary as the men who held a high social status were deeply drunk. Even Commander Nile was there and from what Levi knows, he used to be a friend of Erwin.</p><p>"Cheers for the new Commander of the Survey Corps! Erwin Smith!" Nile took a big gulp of his beer as he gave a small pat on Erwin's back.</p><p>"Not yet, the official ceremony is not until tomorrow," Erwin says, he already had five glasses of beer and he still looks the same.</p><p>"Well, it's almost official then," a bald man said. From what Levi knew, his name is Dot Pixis and he was in charge of the Southern Division of the Garrison. This was the first time he ever interacted with him.</p><p>"But your friend right here is incredibly quiet!" Pixis said. "What's wrong? Scared your wife might find you here?"</p><p>Not really scared, more like he was thinking about her. He must be having a very romantic date with Nicholas the lucky bastard.<br/>
  He had the hope that he might run into them here while in town. But of course, knowing how his luck works, he won't see her until later tonight.</p><p>Pixis took Levi's silence as a negative answer to his question and decided to continue. "Or maybe not your wife but ... a woman of interest?"</p><p>"Something like that," Levi says as he takes a sip of his beer, he would really have preferred to drink tea at the time.</p><p>"Oh, so you haven't told her how you feel?" Nile interrupts the conversation as he turns to look at Erwin. "You should ask Erwin to help you out! He helped me get with my wife."</p><p>"Oh, really?" Levi faces Erwin, this was something he didn't know about and he may use it to blackmail him later.</p><p>"Yeah, you may see him as a simple man but he is actually a poet!" Niles says, a bit too drunk. "He would write love letters to my wife and send them on my behalf-"</p><p>"Can we speak about something else besides women?" Erwin asks a bit annoyed.</p><p>"Like what?" Pixis asked this time.</p><p>"Survey Corps soldier's family members are being murdered ... The first murder was reporter two weeks ago, so far it's been five."</p><p>"It is strange ... The situation kinda reminds me of Kenny the Ripper ... but instead of killing soldiers, someone is killing their families," this time Nile had calmed down as he took an interest in the conversation.</p><p>The atmosphere of the bar was lively but their table became very gloomy at the mentioning of the dead.</p><p>"These people have nothing in common, besides that a family member is part of the Survey Corps ... It seems as whoever is doing this, they have a grudge against the Scouting Regiment," Erwin says. "As soon as I become commander, I would like to start an organized investigation along with you three."</p><p>Humanity's strongest soldier listened to every word and every sentence. It was uncommon to hear people talking about Kenny, and people pronouncing his name would always leave him a bad taste in his mouth.</p><p>The other two men agreed as they continued drinking but then Erwin turned to look at Levi, "Also Levi, tomorrow will commemorate six months since you became captain of the Survey Corps ... We are going to start the process of getting you an official wax stamp seal, just for the legitimacy of documents and legal matters."</p><p>"Yeah, sure," he replies.</p><p>He didn't want to be paranoid but he was focused on the fact that people were being murdered. People related to the Survey Corps members nonetheless. Was it even safe for Maria to be outside during this time? He didn't want to admit it but he was kinda glad that at least Nicholas was providing her with some company.</p><p>"But let's talk about that tomorrow after the ceremony, shall we? Let's have some fun today," Nile says as he picks up his glass of beer.</p><p>"Fun? A serial killer on the loose, people starving because Wall Maria was taken by titans, people are dying ... and you want to have fun?" Pixis immediately tenses the mood and looks at everyone with serious eyes. "Oh well, if the titans breach Wall Rose at least we will die drunk."</p><p>It was these kinds of talks that made Levi get into a bad mood. It wasn't like he didn't care about the current situation, he deeply does but sometimes it could be exhausting, thinking about it all day and night. The uncertainty that their lives could end at any second, either by titans or by criminals.</p><p>
  <em>"I want to see her now, I know she must be alright but ... It will be comforting to see her."</em>
</p><p>"Yo, Levi, so going back to the topic of women," Nile says again as he is going for his fourth glass of beer. "How is she?"</p><p>Although he would have hesitated to answer that question, Levi thought that maybe speaking about her would decrease his anxiety.</p><p>"She is kind and knows how to clean."</p><p>His words wasn't the response that Nile was looking for, so he tried to ask again in a different manner. "Is she pretty?"</p><p>"Very."</p><p>"What's her name?"</p><p>Now that was something Levi didn't want to talk about. Although he enjoyed talking about Maria, he didn't want people to know too much about their business. He just likes the privacy of their intimacy and didn't want to share that with anyone.</p><p>Seeing that he was deeply silent, Erwin decided to speak on Levi's behalf.</p><p>"Her name is Maria and works as a house attendant for Levi's squad," Erwin answers.</p><p>"Oh? She was one of the tavern dancers that you bought from us?"</p><p>"Correct."</p><p>"Well, Levi don't you know the saying?" Pixis was one to get into the conversation now. "Don't fall in love with a tavern dancer ... They are complicated."</p><p>"She is not, yes she has her problems like everyone else but," Levi takes a pause as he looks down at his drink. "But she is a simple woman ... And the world is in such a state of chaos that her simplicity brings me joy ... That's it."</p><p>"Well, it must be hard for you isn't it?" Nile asks. "My wife was a waitress at a bar and still she had many men around her ... I swear I sometimes thought I would die of jealousy. I can't imagine how it is being with a tavern dancer ... Are you alright with her being ... Well, you know ... A prostitute?"</p><p>Erwin just stood quiet, watching from afar. He was curious about Levi's feelings towards his house attendant. He didn't know if it was the alcohol but Levi seems to be more open about talking about her now.</p><p>"Maria used to dance ... No prostitution was involved," Levi says and without skipping a heartbeat, he continues. "But even if she was a prostitute ... I don't think my situation with her would change."</p><p>His words left the whole table speechless but nonetheless, they enjoyed how humanity's strongest soldier was slowly opening up.</p><p>"You must really love her then," Nile says. "If I was you, I wouldn't hesitate to ask her to marry me."</p><p>"I am not too sure about that," Levi says. "I am still trying to figure out ... how I feel."</p><p>"I've been married for a year and let me you something," Nile gives Levi a small smile. "You don't feel love ... Love is an action, not a feeling."</p><p>"You need to invest time, communicate, be supportive," Nile gives out a small smile as he thinks of his wife, he really was lucky. "I am not saying there won't be ups and downs, there will be but what matters is that you both work together to reach that level of intimacy."</p><p>"Take your time, relationships at the beginning are not perfect and they are not supposed to be," Nile watches Levi who was in deep thought. "You may not even know it, but you could be doing the act of loving without you realizing it."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>By the end of the night, Levi had to admit that he was kinda glad to have come to the bar with Erwin. Not only did he clear his mind, he also was given some comfort and advice by Nile.</p><p>If love was an action ... Does that mean that he could start loving Maria whenever he wanted? Whenever he could?</p><p>But still, his mind was clouded by confusion. Just what type of actions was love? What kind of things did that imply?</p><p>
  <em>"You need to invest time, communicate, be supportive,"</em>
</p><p>But was he doing that? He had to be honest that he wasn't the best partner. He was actually the worst. Why? Because he wasn't doing anything based on actions but feelings.</p><p>He felt scared, anger, jealousy, and he is possessive ... Things that are not healthy. Even when he tried not to ... his mind would react otherwise. He had an attachment to her and he knew that. But what could do when he was emotionally unstable? Maria shouldn't have to suffer nor deal with his psychological problems.</p><p>It was him, he had to work to change for himself.</p><p>To try and be better for her ... the only question reminds... Would she be willing to stay with him in the process? Or will she wait for him until he was ready?</p><p>It was hard because even when he knew he needed to work on himself first, he didn't want to let her go.</p><p>
  <em>"I am not saying there won't be ups and downs, there will be but what matters is that you both work together to reach that level of intimacy ... Take your time, relationships at the beginning are not perfect and they are not supposed to be."</em>
</p><p>Would it be alright for him ... For them ... To start a serious relationship, to finally define what they feel and ... try and love each other as much as they can? To be supportive, to communicate, to be there for each other?</p><p>Levi's thoughts were interrupted as he heard a small knock coming from outside his room's door.</p><p>"Come in," he says as he stands up from his bed, sitting at the edge of it. His heart felt at ease the moment he realized that it was Maria.</p><p>"Hey, just wanted to let you know I am back ... Did you have a good night?" Maria asks, she was still at the door with a soft smile in her face.</p><p>"Let's just say that it was quiet ... Interesting," he replies, waiting for her to close the door.</p><p>"Well, at least it wasn't bad," Maria says. It wasn't like she didn't want to talk to him but she wanted to give him his space just in case he felt like being alone. "I put some water to boil in case you want tea later on the night."</p><p>"Thank you,"</p><p>"Well, I guess I should head out to sleep-"</p><p>"Wait," Levi raised his voice, just a little. "What about you? I thought you would stay out longer."</p><p>"I was planning to but Nicholas got drunk too fast ... and guess who had to carry him?"</p><p>She lets out a small laugh but Levi showed no reaction whatsoever. It was strange for them to have silent moments like this, well more like they didn't have much to say to one another.</p><p>"There's something I want to talk to you about,"</p><p>There was something in her words that Levi didn't like and as much as he enjoys talking to her, he wasn't sure if he wanted to hear what she was about to say. But still, he had to comply.</p><p>"Sure, what is it?"</p><p>Levi moves a little as to give Maria space to sit next to him. She closes the door behind her and was fast to take a seat next to Levi on his bed. Only three candles illuminating the room they were in.</p><p>"In the morning, I talked to Elise and tonight ... I had a long talk with Nicholas and they made me realize many things," her voice was soft and gentle and Levi couldn't help but feel the panic rise within him.</p><p>
  <em>"Elise ... talked with Maria?"</em>
</p><p>"I think I've realized now ... What I want," Maria let out a sigh as she looks down at her hands. "I know what I want to do now ... with us."</p><p>The few seconds that she paused made Levi's hands tremble. Was this it? Was she going to end their 'relationship'? Was this the end? Was she going to leave him?</p><p>"Levi ... I-"</p><p>"You are leaving me, right?" His voice came out like a whisper, even as a soft cry for help as he wants some type of comfort from the brunette.</p><p>"What? No! All the contrary," Maria grabs Levi's hands, holding them delicately. She could feel them trembling. "I've realized that I want us to continue the way we are."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"I don't want to put you on any pressure nor force you to be in a formal relationship with me  ... You said you were being selfish by not giving me a proper answer but," Maria looks up to Levi, his dark blue eyes met her caramel ones. "I think it's also selfish of me to ask for one when I knew that you never reciprocated my feelings in the first place."</p><p>Levi stayed quiet, dumbfounded as he wanted her to continue.</p><p>"I can't put you through that kind of emotional turmoil if you don't want to," Maria says. "So, I want you to stop caring about it ... I think I've already said this before but I just want to reassure you ... I've decided that I'll stay by your side as long as you want me to."</p><p>Levi could not react, he was speechless and that was something Maria was only capable of doing to him</p><p>"What I am trying to say is that while I exist, you will always have someone who loves everything about you," this time she looks away, blushing at her own words. "I may be jumping too fast into conclusions but I can't deny what I feel at the moment ... I don't think I've said this upfront but ... The truth is ... That I-"</p><p>Maria looks up at Levi again, making a small pause as she tries to get the courage she needs.</p><p>"I love you."</p><p>And just like that. Just one sentence, three words, and the walls around him began to crumble down. Brick by brick, as if a mirror had broken into million pieces. He felt liberated and numb at the same time. A strange feeling that began to overtake his heart and fill up his body.</p><p>Was he ... Happy? Utterly and extremely content?</p><p>As he stood quiet, Maria felt her heart beat faster and her embarrassment was over the roof. She could only feel Levi's blue gaze on her and his mouth a little bit open due to the surprise.</p><p>"Well, look at the time! I need to go to sleep now," Maria stands up from the bed as she wanted to leave his room as fast as she could. "If you need anything, just let me know-"</p><p>But as she was about to walk out, a strong hand grabs her arm. As she turns around to face him, his face showed a pleading expression. He wanted her to stay, to give him time to explain things and talk.</p><p>But Maria knew better ... That he just pitted her.</p><p>"Maria, I-"</p><p>"Don't say it," she says as she looks away. "Don't say it unless you are completely sure ... If you say it without feeling it then ... It will just be too cruel for me."</p><p>Levi knew that she was saying the truth and that she didn't deserve half explanations. It was better for him to wait and decided the right choice for his path ... For their paths.</p><p>"I just told you ... Not to feel pressured ... It's alright."</p><p>Levi wanted to say more, anything that would make her feel better and to wipe away the melancholic look off her face. However, words wouldn't formulate nor come out of his mouth. And he just knew couldn't say anything too lightly.</p><p>But as he was about to let her go, humanity's strongest soldier noticed a scratch on the brunette's arm.</p><p>"What happened? You didn't have this before," Levi looks at the red area of her arm. "You don't even have it covered."</p><p>"It's just a small scratch, it's alright," Maria says simply, she didn't see what the big deal was.</p><p>"How did this happen?" Levi stands up as he walks towards his desk. He opens one of the cabinets to find a square band-aid.</p><p>"..." the brunette stayed quiet, she didn't know if she should tell him or not. Just how would he react?</p><p>"Maria?" he asks again as he walks back to her, a band-aid on his hand.</p><p>"I-"</p><p>"And don't lie,"</p><p>Maria watches as Levi delicately places the bandaid on her arm, covering the scratch completely. A few seconds passed in silence and Maria knew that it was better to speak about it.</p><p>"Someone one ... pushed me and I fell,"</p><p>But the moment the words left her mouth, she felt an intense gaze at her. She felt a bit scared, not of him but of what he might do.</p><p>"How did it happen?"</p><p>"... I was washing clothes and some girls came up to me and-"</p><p>"Who were they?" His gaze became heavier by the second and she could tell that he was worried and angry at the same time.</p><p>"I don't know, Elise mentioned a last name but I don't remember-" Maria tried explaining but Levi just focused on getting the necessary information.</p><p>"Why was Elise there?"</p><p>"I don't know, she defended me from them-"</p><p>"How did they look like?"</p><p>At that question, Maria sighed in defeat. She softly takes Levi's hand off her arm. He wasn't hurting her but she wanted to make a statement.</p><p>"Levi please, stop," Maria walks towards the door, it was a long day and she just wanted to rest. "It's fine, I am alright."</p><p>"Fine, but I'll be asking Elise about this," Levi tries to regain a little bit of composure as he sits back at the edge of his bed. He still had many questions but he didn't want to put Maria in an uncomfortable situation either. "The women who came up to you ... Where they ..."</p><p>Levi didn't know if he should proceed with his question. He suspected that Maria knew he had slept with other women before but he still didn't want to look bad in front of her.</p><p>"Did they said that ... That they and me ... You know ..."</p><p>And that's why she didn't want to tell him. Maria didn't want Levi to feel guilty about what happened, he didn't want him to feel responsible but what could she say? Lie?</p><p>And as if she was heard by the gods above, she hears the whistle of the kettle from the kitchen, the water is finally boiled.</p><p>"Oh, no the water!"</p><p>And with that, Maria left the room. Having the perfect excuse to not answer Levi's question and avoid him for the rest of the night.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Walking across the corridors of the Survey Corps facility and heading towards the dining hall, Elise was happier than usual since her plan was going smoothly.</p><p>Tonight, Erwin was going to officially become the Commander of the Survey Corps and she was going to be named one of the Commander's new advisors. Other new titles are going to be distributed and she couldn't wait to have the attention on her.</p><p>"Squad leader Dietrich," a female voice distracted her, she turns around to face Leone Schneider.</p><p>"Leone, I've been looking for you .... I've wanting to thank you and your friends for molesting the house attendant back at the river," Elise smiles at her friend as she begins to walk next to her.</p><p>"No problem, you know that after you paid my father's hospital bills, I own you everything," the woman with black hair says. "I'll do whatever you ask me to do."</p><p>"I appreciate that and I'll take it in mind ... Remember to follow our plan in case something happens regarding the whore," the blond one says already having a smile on her face with just the thought.</p><p>They were about to get inside the dining hall but they made a small stop.</p><p>"I have to admit that I am impressed, just how many people do you have at your convenience?" Leone asks.</p><p>"Just the necessary,"</p><p>"It surprises me how people can change perspectives so fast," Leone watches as soldiers walk past them, entering the dining hall. They smiled at each other without a worry in the world.</p><p>"Yeah, it only takes a good last name, money, and do a few favors for people to love you," Elise says as a fake smile decorates her face.</p><p>"Everyone used to call you a whore and a bitch when you used to date Levi," Leone looks at the beautiful woman in front of her. "Not so much now, right?"</p><p>"Hehe," Elise lets out a small giggle as she finally decided to enter the dining hall, Leone following form behind. "They thought I was a bitch before, but they haven't seen anything yet."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>There were two reasons why Levi was here, one because he was forced to and two because Maria was also here. Even when they were sitting at different tables it was nice seeing her talk with her friends.</p><p>It wasn't like he didn't want to support Erwin become the Commander of the Survey Corps, it was just that he wasn't a fan of big crowds.</p><p>"Yo, Levi we know that you like Maria but stop looking at her ... It's becoming creepy!" Hange teases him as she sat next to him. Like usual, his squad and Hange's would seat together at events like these. He won't ever admit it out loud but he felt at ease with Hange and could even consider her a close friend. Even when she would sometimes annoy him.</p><p>"I am not looking at her, I was just spacing out," Levi rolled his eyes in annoyance. Another thing he liked about Hange was that she would tell him the truth and point out things he didn't want to see.</p><p>"Yeah, then I must really have bad eyesight," Hange says sarcastically.</p><p>"You do, shitty glasses."</p><p>Hange lets out a laugh as Levi didn't understand her sarcasm. Just how in the world did Levi ever get the heart of Maria was a mystery to her, not like she minded one bit.</p><p>Now, this was a quite lovely scene. Well, kind of. There weren't as many soldiers as before due that a great number passed away recently due to the expedition of the walls and some others were still greatly injured. But even so, Hange couldn't help it but feel a little bit positive as her squad and Levi's talked naturally. Other soldiers talk and even laugh and overall everyone was excited for Erwin to step in as the new Commander. Nobody could deny that Erwin was definitely talented and destined to be Commander since the beginning.</p><p>The official ceremony took place already and all the Survey Corps soldiers were there. Now there was a small dinner, house attendants were invited as well and some announcements were expected to be made by the new Commander.</p><p>Everyone stands up as Erwin enters the dining hall and gave him their iconic salute. The blond man walks towards the small wooden stage, it was built for small things like this. Everyone stays quiet as Erwin takes over the stage.</p><p>"You all may rest," Erwin says with a loud voice and everyone does as he says. They go back to sit on their tables. "I Erwin Smith, 13th Commander of the Survey Corps, have a few announcements to make."</p><p>"First, I want to give Hange Zoe the title of 'second in command," Erwin says out loud. "I know her scientific research will help us win the battle against the titans."</p><p>After that said, everyone begins to clap and cheer for the scientist. Moblit even gave the squad leader a small hug and Hange smiled in embarrassment. Maria claps as well, happy for her friend.</p><p>"As the new Commander, I will be appointing my new advisors," Erwin says once again and everyone went silent, wanting to hear the names. </p><p>"Felix Nowak,"</p><p>Everyone cheers again, happy for the soldier.</p><p>"Peter Mazur,"</p><p>"Leone Schneider,"</p><p>"Elise Dietrich,"</p><p>Everyone cheers and claps with their hands at the mention of the names. However, Maria's ears almost exploded at how loud everyone cheered for Elise.</p><p>She had to admit that even when she was intimidated by her and didn't trust her much, Maria still admired Elise. She was young, beautiful, and smart. It was a strange type of admiration and from time to time Maria kinda wished she would be more like Elise. </p><p>As the cheering died out, Erwin cleared his throat to say one last thing.</p><p>"One last announcement," Erwin says. "After constant planning and meetings, the Survey Corps will launch a new program in which our house attendants and soldiers will unite to help the people inside refugee's facilities." </p><p>And suddenly, Erwin looks directly at Maria, the brunette feeling completely embarrassed as everyone turns to look at her.</p><p>"Our program will be under the supervision of Maria Turret,"</p><p>Levi watched from afar and he could say that he felt proud of the brunette. He was about to clap and even stand up but he realizes something. No one was clapping, nor cheering for her. It was completely quiet, except for the awkward and slow claps of the house attendants around her. Why wasn't everyone else clapping and cheering as well? Even if it is out of courtesy. </p><p>"Wow! Maria, you go girl!"</p><p>And of course, it was Hange the one to interrupt the silence and make it even more awkward. It was completely silent, only her cheering could be heard.</p><p>"Hange, stop," Levi says as he grabs her arm and forces Hange to sit down. "You are making it worse-"</p><p>"Maria, is there anything you would like to say?"</p><p>Erwin tries to change the mood but to the brunette, it wasn't the best idea. Now she was basically forced to say something. </p><p>Maria stands up, she hated speaking in public and especially when everyone just seems angry by her presence. </p><p>"I am just thankful for the opportunity," the brunette says, "And I hope we can work together to create a better future for the people who reside inside the refugee's facilities."</p><p>Maria made a pause, waiting for a type of reaction from the crowd but nothing. As she sat down on her seat, she heard it. A small whisper that could be heard by everyone in the silent room.</p><p>
  <em>"Pfft, whore,"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I guess sleeping  with the Captain has its advantages,"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"She's probably sleeping with Erwin too,"</em>
</p><p>They were small whispers but Levi could hear them all. He couldn't help but take a look at the brunette. Maria tried to pretend that she couldn't hear them but she did.  And Levi couldn't take it. Her sad face, her caramel eyes that tried to contain the tears, the fake smile she gave her friends as to reassure them that she was alright. </p><p>But she wasn't.</p><p>And it broke him, it pained him to an extent that he couldn't believe possible. It was hurting him and for a moment he thought that maybe he had been shot, but no. It was just his heart that shrank the moment he saw Maria's face.</p><p>Was this the type of thing she had to endure every day? The humiliation? That impotent feeling?</p><p>Everything just because of him? Just to please him? ... Just to be with him.</p><p>
  <em>"You need to invest time, communicate, be supportive,"</em>
</p><p>He needed to stop being so selfish for once. Could he put his insecurities aside? For her?  There was no doubt, he would do anything ... Anything to make her happy so she no residue of sadness in her face.</p><p>It was time ... For her to know, for everyone to know.</p><p>His feelings may not be clear enough, his words would stumble and not formulate properly. But he hopes with all of his heart that his actions speak louder than his words. </p><p>Let his actions speak in behave of the feelings of his heart.</p><p>
  <em>"You don't feel love ... Love is an action, not a feeling."</em>
</p><p>"I also have an announcement to make," Levi says out loud as he stands up from his seat, the murmuring suddenly stops as all eyes were on him. "I am a man that likes privacy but it seems like ever since I became Captain, people have taken a liking to talk about my private life."</p><p>There was silence but Levi wasn't planning on backing away. </p><p>"If it interests everyone so much, then let me tell you all," Levi picks up his hand and he points directly at Maria. "That woman right there, she is my ... girlfriend." </p><p>Levi didn't know but the smile Elise had on her face disappeared the moment his words left his mouth.</p><p>"At the beginning, it wasn't like that ... I only used her body for pleasure," he says loudly and he didn't care that Maria could almost faint due to embarrassment. "But as I got to know her, I couldn't help it ... She completely bewitched me."</p><p>A few seconds of silence passed in which Levi's blue eyes met Maria's caramel ones.</p><p>"Tragically, she doesn't know how to pick men properly so she is stuck with me," Levi says as everyone's attention was still on him. "Having made that clear, now I will tell you all ... If I hear a single comment, anything that indicates you plan to harm her physically or verbally ... I'll break you all's bones." </p><p>Levi's eyes sharped as his stance became stronger and no one could deny it ... That they were terrified of humanity's strongest soldier.</p><p>"And this is not a threat ... It's a promise."</p><p>After a few seconds passed and made his point clear, he turns to face Erwin.</p><p>"Oh and congrats Erwin, I hope you don't kill us all ... cheers."</p><p>At that, Levi sits down again and took a sip of his beer. It was quiet, one because it was embarrassing.And the other was because no one could believe that Captain Levi had open up like that.</p><p>Not even Hange nor his squad that surrounded him could believe it, everyone was just left with their mouths open.</p><p>"Thank you, Captain Levi," Erwin says as he tries to make the situation less awkward. He wasn't expecting for this night to go like this but it was better than he expected in a sense. "Very well, if no one has anything else to say, you are all dismissed ... Enjoy the rest of the night."</p><p>At that, everyone slowly began to go back to normal. Mostly to talk about what happened and others would just exit the dining hall.</p><p>His eyes laid again on the brunette as she covers her face. Maria's friends teased her without stop. Slowly their eyes meet for the smallest of a fraction and Maria looks away immediately, looking at her friend Leah who was next to her.</p><p>"Well, this is going to change a lot of things," Hange whispers to Levi and they gave Nicholas a quick look. His hair covered his eyes, a gloomy aura around him and suddenly he stands up and leaves the dining hall. "But I am happy for you Levi and I am proud too." </p><p>"Uh?"</p><p>Before Hange could say anything, their attention was also focused on Petra who had stood up and left without saying a word. Levi couldn't help but feel guilty and he knew that he needed to talk to her as soon as possible.</p><p>"I hope I made the right choice," Levi says as Erwin comes into the picture, taking a seat next to humanity's strongest soldier.</p><p>"From what I've seen not everyone is happy," Erwin says as he takes a seat and drinks a little bit of water from a cup. "Which is strange ... I've never seen the Survey Corps react like that."</p><p>"Well, maybe if Levi kept it in his pants before we wouldn't be in problem," Hange teases as she received an annoyed look from Erwin.</p><p>"What?" she says. "It's the truth!"</p><p>"Yes, but still-"</p><p>"She's right," Levi was a bit annoyed, but he needed to recognize his mistakes. "When Isabel and Furlan died, I should have focused on treating my pain in a healthy way instead of having a promiscuous behavior."</p><p>"Before, I didn't realize that my actions had consequences and maybe I would have kept treating my pain the same way," Levi looks up to see Maria once again. "But she happened ... And I can't let her suffer for my past mistakes."</p><p>Hange and Erwin stood quiet, a little bit dumbfounded by Levi's sudden words.</p><p>"I am proud of you Levi," Erwin says, a small smile on his face. "I didn't want to say this before but after your friends died... I never understood your reason for staying at the Survey Corps."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"You have to serve the Survey Corps for you to be able to stay above ground but ... You really had no dreams, not motives," Erwin says. "You are humanity's strongest soldier but I never saw any ambition ... You strive for no glory, nor knowledge, no dream ... It's good to see you having something or someone to live for ... I am glad that you are starting to live for yourself."</p><p>"You can lose all of those things easily," Levi replies, it was a bit strange for him to open up about things like this but he found himself at ease with the two. "It's better not to get attached."</p><p>"Levi, humans are born to suffer ... There's no greater truth than that," Erwin says. "The only thing we can do to fight against this cruel world is to live moments of happiness even if they are short-lived."</p><p>"We are proud of you Levi, you been through a lot, haven't you?" Hange places an arm around Levi's shoulders, giving him some comfort. "And we are happy you found someone who is there for you in your good and bad moments."</p><p>"Do you think I'll treat her right?" Levi asks as he looks down, he felt the tiniest of embarrassment. "Even when I can't express how I feel?"</p><p>"I won't deny that words are powerful," Erwin looks over to the table where Maria was sitting but his eyes laid on Leah. "But if you can't express your feelings through words, let your actions speak for you."</p><p>Hange and Erwin looks at him as his eyes averted again towards the brunette. They watched as Levi's cold blue eyes slowly change and they softened. As if a wild animal was domesticated. As if for a moment, Levi's mind was free from all doubts and fears.</p><p>"I'll be a terrible boyfriend," Levi says almost in a whisper. "But I'll try my best ... For her."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Although Nicholas already knew everything from the beginning, it still hurts him deeply to be reminded of that.</p><p>In such a great manner, nonetheless. He wanted to be happy for Maria and he would have been happy if it was someone else, anyone but Captain Levi. Nicholas just knew that he was no good for her and eventually he would end up hurting her. And that's not what he wanted, Nicholas wanted anything but that.</p><p>When would his punishment end? When will he stop feeling guilty? He still hasn't changed, hasn't he?</p><p>The reason why he wanted Maria to be happy was so he could be free from his guilt.</p><p>Not for her, but himself.</p><p>"I am disgusting," Nicholas says out loud at the thought that he was alone. He was sitting outside, at the dining hall's porch, a few candles next to him. "I do love her immensely ... But I have to admit that my guilt won't let me sleep ... If only ... If only I could kill that fucking bastard."</p><p>"I sincerely hope you aren't talking about Levi,"</p><p>Nicholas turns around and finds Elise walking towards him. He had no opinion of her whatsoever, but the time he talked to her, she introduced herself as Maria's friend.</p><p>"He is your Captain and planing against him would be considered treason," Elise says as she sits down next to him. He was thinking of saluting her but she didn't seem to care about status. "And I am sure you don't want to die, right?"</p><p>"I wasn't talking about Captain Levi," Nicholas says as he looks into the distance, the dark night that was in front of him and nature. "I was talking about another bastard."</p><p>"And because of this bastard, you feel guilty?" she asks.</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"And I am guessing this bastard caused some type of pain to Maria?" she asks again as she was fast to make conclusions.</p><p>Nicholas turns to look at her, kinda impressed if he was completely honest.</p><p>"You are smart, I can see why you are the Commander's new advisor," Nicholas replies as a way to try and change the topic.</p><p>"Yeah, I am a woman of many qualities," Elise replied as she softly blinks at the handsome man.</p><p>"Young, beautiful and smart, I can perfectly see that," Nicholas replies back. "I can imagine you have a lot of men behind you."</p><p>"I won't deny that," Elise moves closer to Nicholas and she had to admit that Nicholas wasn't all that bad, he was a really good looking man. But of course, she only had one man in mind. If she was going to get involved with Nicholas it was only so she could use him. "But I am just waiting for the right one to come along."</p><p>There were a few seconds in which their eyes crossed paths, the wind slowly caressing their faces. It was becoming cold but at the moment they couldn't feel it.At that instant, Elise knew that she could have this man whenever she wanted. It would be nice to play with him but it was mostly to use him to her advantage.</p><p>If she could get to him, then she can find out the truth about Maria, her weak points, the things she is scared of. She could learn all that from him and use that to destroy her and make her stay away from Levi.</p><p>"Well, I hope he comes soon," Nicholas says with a smile as takes his eyes away from her.</p><p>Of course, this wasn't going to be as easy either. Nicholas was loyal to the brunette and breaking him down will be a challenge. Yes, a challenge but it won't be impossible. She just needed time to work on him.</p><p>"Did it hurt?" Elise suddenly asks. Since the day of the dance ball, when she saw Nicholas dance with Maria, she knew that something was going on between them. She didn't know the specifics, but that's why she was here. To figure that out. "Watching Captain Levi openly accepting he is being fucking the girl you love?"</p><p>"You have no idea," Nicholas replies as they see people come out of the dining hall. "But I can't do anything about it but be supportive I guess ... Would that show her just how much I love her?"</p><p>The question was for himself but Elise heard it all. She couldn't help it but feel a certain jealousy rise within her. The house attendant had a man who completely loved her and she was throwing that away. Maria was throwing something away that Elise wanted very much.</p><p>To be loved purely by someone.</p><p>"Ah ... Who knows?" Elise says. "Sometimes you show a person how much you love them ... And they still won't fall for you."</p><p>"But we still gotta try, I guess," she says as she notices that the handsome man was still in thought.</p><p>If there was something Elise was sure of, is that if she doesn't try, she won't be able to win anything. She has to keep trying, even if she has to take extreme measures. Since the beginning, she has always had to fight to get what she wanted.</p><p>She looks down at her hands and the beautiful long nails she now possessed. Elise remembered a time in which a thing did not exist, a time in which her parents de-nail her, for speaking without permission. Now that she remembers, she had always fought for their love and affection. And now that she had gained a high status in the Survey Corps, she had that. Now she could use all the benefits that her family name had and of course she was going to use them to her advantage.</p><p>Call her crazy, a bitch even but there was no doubt she wouldn't do anything in the name of love. If she fights hard enough, would she be worth it? Would she be able to find the resolution she needed? Everyone could ask, why Levi ? If she could have any other man.</p><p>But she just couldn't let go of the man who taught her how to love. The man who taught her to embrace and accept herself. And she just knew that she was made for him because no one else would go as far as she could go for him. Elise was capable of anything. Anything for Levi.</p><p>Would her actions show him how much in love she is with him? She didn't have an answer, but there was only one truth for her.</p><p>Levi was worth fighting for.</p><p>"At the end of the day, it's either we fight or we don't," Elise says as she stands up and looks at the young man one last time before walking away.</p><p>"And I chose to fight."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N: We are getting into the final arc of One Last Time. This chapter was 15K thousand words! And I cut off Nicholas and Maria's date ... It's sad but I will include that in the next chapter hopefully. If I wrote the date, this chapter alone would have been 20k words lol.</p><p>Finally, I am happy that Levi has finally decided to be with Maria openly. He has also realized his mistakes and plans to work on them. 100K words later and Levi finally had character development, he still needs more but he will work on it.</p><p>It was hard to write the part in which Levi had a panic attack. Especially since mental heath its not a topic that has been talked about in AOT. Well, they have but its never specified, like you know the characters suffer from mental issues but they never go into detail. So, I wanted for Levi to have this moment to show his more humane side. Everyone considers him in such a high regard that we sometimes forget that he is human and that he also suffers from mental health issues. It was hard to explain because I am not sure if during this in Attack on Titan, people knew about depression, anxiety or panic attacks. So, I'll just be specific with the terminology when writing about it. The characters don't know it as such but they just know it has to deal with past trauma. It is also just easier for me to write about it using the proper words for the illness.</p><p>I am kinda getting used to the idea that there won't be a happy ending in AOT. That's why I am writing this, a small fantasy of mine just for me to bring me comfort that there was a period of time in which Levi lived a happy ending.</p><p>Like I said before, (Or like Erwin said) In this cruel world the only way to fight against it, is to live happy moments even if they are short-lived. </p><p>Well, I'm going to stop there because if I keep writing my thoughts here, I might spoil the ending of One Last Time.</p><p>I already have everything planned for the ending of this story as well as the last sentence has been written. There will be angst pretty soon but don't worry too much. I plan for this story to have a bittersweet ending, one that can fit into the Attack on Titan world.</p><p>I know these notes don't make sense at all but I guess what I am trying to say is that I hope that you all find comfort in this story.</p><p>Once again, thank you for reading One Last Time. I encourage all types of comments! It really helps me a lot to stay motivated.</p><p>Thank you again, and see you next week!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Name</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The night was long and peaceful as the only thing that could be heard was the tweeting of nocturnal birds and the stridulation of crickets. Leaves starting to fall as autumn was approaching them soon, the night became colder and the wind blows through the grass.</p><p>Soldiers talking, some happier than others as they exited the dining hall. Candle lights illuminated the inside and the outside of the dining hall, it was quiet as not a lot of people resided inside. It was a Sunday night and everyone needed to sleep to start training early morning.</p><p>Levi felt the eyes of soldiers on him as they walk past him, their stares don't last long as they were terrified of him. At the porch, he was waiting for a certain brunette to go out and if he was being completely honest, at this point he felt like Maria was avoiding him. She was taking too long to come out and she had promised him to meet him soon outside.</p><p>Soon enough, the brunette appears as she says her goodbyes to her friends and the house attendants give Levi a teasing look. Not like he cares too much.</p><p>Maria walks towards him, she was extremely embarrassed and didn't even dare to greet him properly. She thought it would be easier to greet him now since he suddenly made their relationship serious and public. Although Maria would fantasize about wanting to have a serious relationship with Levi, she didn't think they would make it public this easier. Everything was happening so fast that she just didn't know how to react. From being friends with benefits to being in a formal and public relationship ... All in one night.</p><p>Without realizing, Maria sees Levi taking off his brown uniform jacket, leaving exposed his white long sleeve shirt and cravat.</p><p>"Wear it," he says as he extends his hand, offering her his jacket. Maria didn't realize it before but she was trembling a bit due to the cold.</p><p>"But, what if people see?"</p><p>"Does it matter?"</p><p>And he was right, it didn't matter anymore. Maria accepts the jacket reluctantly as she is still not used to the feeling. She wears it as she immediately gets to smell his natural aroma mixed with soap. Not the sexiest of smells but it definitely was good. And for her, there was nothing more attractive than a man that has good hygiene.</p><p>She has worn his jacket multiple times before but it wasn't until now that she realized that his jacket was a bit tight on her shoulders. It must have been normal since she was a few inches taller than Levi but her imagination went wild. The thought of getting weight scared her and she wouldn't mind too much if it wasn't that she was now dating Captain Levi. She wanted to look the best for him so he wouldn't be embarrassed by dating a tavern dancer.</p><p>She is dating Captain Levi.</p><p>She is Levi's girlfriend.</p><p>"Let's go home,"</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>This must be the first time in which Maria and Levi rode the same horse together. It was strange enough, quiet but they weren't uncomfortable. Levi enjoyed having Maria's hands wrapped around his waist and her face in his right shoulder. She was giving him warmth while he held the reins of the horse, galloping it slowly. The house attendant was also having a good time. Her face was close enough to his neck, and his natural aroma filled her nostrils. Her attention got drawn towards his black beautiful hair.</p><p>"I should cut your hair once we get back home," Maria says as unintentionally, she whispers on his ear. "If I don't, by the time I come back it will be too long."</p><p>"... I was thinking that you could sleep with me tonight," Levi kept looking forward, changing the topic a bit as he didn't want to be reminded that she was leaving tomorrow. "In my room."</p><p>"We shouldn't have sex, your squad might hear-"</p><p>"No, I meant it as just sleeping, falling asleep together," he says as he thought of teasing her but seeing that she was already teased enough for the night, he decided not to. " ... Unless you want to-"</p><p>"Oh, no, I am fine! Whenever you want to do it, I'll do it ... But as long as we are alone."</p><p>It wasn't that he didn't this submissive part of her but Levi felt that there was something else to her words that just the thought of wanting to please him.</p><p>
  <em>"You need to invest time, communicate, be supportive,"</em>
</p><p>Nile's words still lingered on his mind and decided that it was best to speak up now.</p><p>"I don't want our relationship to be only based on my wants and needs," Levi says as he tries to be serious with her, still slowly moving the reins of the horse. "I also want you to enjoy yourself ... I want you to use my body for your needs as I will use yours ... I want to make love to you whenever you want as well ... So, don't be afraid to speak up."</p><p>She reminds quiet, and Levi didn't want to make her feel bad either. A few more seconds passed in which Levi really thought about what he was about to say next.</p><p>
  <em>"You need to communicate ... So, just do it."</em>
</p><p>"You never tell me when you want to have sex nor show any desires for me," Levi stumbled a little in his words. He was always like this whenever it came down to talking about his feelings but now that they were officially a thing, he found it even more difficult. "It makes me think that ... You don't find me attractive or that you don't find me sexually appealing ... Is that why-"</p><p>"No! Of course not!" Maria tightness her grip around Levi's waist as if she begged for him to look at her. But it wasn't possible as she knew that he needed to focus his attention on the road. "It's not that I don't want to have sex with you ... It's just that it is a bit complicated for me ... To know how and when I want to make love."</p><p>It was the soft galloping of the horse that calmed the brunette, Levi's scent, his warm radiating off his back and just his soul and being ... She felt protected whatever the reason was.</p><p>"Is there a reason why?" Levi asks and he could feel the brunette flinch a little at his question. "I didn't want to mention anything before but ... Remember the first time we tried making love in your room? I was on top of you and for a small fraction ... I could see that you were scared ... then you started to cry about how you felt like you were betraying Petra."</p><p>He made a brief pause and added, "I thought I had scared you ... And I felt horrible ... I don't want to put you through any pain nor scare you in any way ... That's why I am asking you to take the initiative once in a while ... I want you to tell me how you feel, for you to communicate with me."</p><p>Maria felt like her throat went dry and tangled as she couldn't formulate any words. She breathed in and breathed out as a way to comfort herself.</p><p>"I was scared for a very small moment," she admitted. "But all of that went away, it's in the past now. I am not scared of you Levi, I feel safe around you and I know you will take care of me ... Besides, I can't be afraid of the person I love."</p><p>In that instant, Levi felt a small kiss being planted on his neck as a show of affection. He didn't want to admit it, but her actions and words made him happy.</p><p>"There is something you don't know about me and well, I am not ready to talk about it ... I just hope you can give me some time," Maria says as she hugs him dearly.</p><p>"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, you don't have to even mention it ever," Levi says. "Just know that whatever it is, it won't stop me from having feelings for you."</p><p>Her heart felt like it was going to explode as tears threaten to come out of her eyes, not because she was sad but because she was deeply happy and content at the moment.</p><p>"Thank you, Levi," Maria plants another kiss on his neck, knowing that he enjoys the act. "I am really lucky to have you."</p><p>"I am the lucky one," he says back, already all form of embarrassment gone. It was such a good night and since so many things happened already, he decided to go with the flow and let his guard down a little more. He just felt like he could talk to her about whatever and she won't judge him. "And it's strange to say that because I always thought I was an unlucky bastard."</p><p>"Can I know the reason why?"</p><p>Levi kept his eyes on the road as he felt the wind blow cross his face, he could smell the aroma of the grass and flowers around them in the night.</p><p>"I was born in the Underground city, where my mother worked as a prostitute to maintain ourselves ... One day she got sick and died ... I was very small then so the only thing I could do was to wait to die next to her."</p><p>This was the first time in which Maria heard Levi talk about his past in such a natural manner. Although she was always curious about it, she never asked knowing that he would talk about it whenever he was ready. And now, he was opening up to her, no sign of being uncomfortable.</p><p>"But then a man took me under his wing and he took care of me," Levi said. "He taught me everything, how to steal and how to fight ... and one day he left me ... To be honest with you, I always felt like I wasn't good enough and that's why he left me."</p><p>And without realizing, Levi began to lose himself. Strangely talking about his past and feelings.</p><p>"And that's how I survived, by stealing and doing jobs for the richer people ... that's how I met Furlan and Isabel ... and I made a bad decision and they died."</p><p>It wasn't like Maria didn't understand it before that Levi had internal turmoils. All of the people he loved left him, some way or another and that was why he had a hard time getting attached to people. That was the reason why Levi had such a hard time understanding love because he never got to experience it fully.</p><p>"The cravat that I use, it's actually a piece of clothing from my mom's dress," he says as a delicate smile decorated his face as he remembers his mother. The only person who truly loved him ... besides Maria of course.</p><p>"I am sure she was an amazing woman," Maria whispers as she tries to bring him some comfort. "I know she would be proud of you."</p><p>"Do you really think so?"</p><p>"I am certain,"</p><p>For a small moment, Levi turns his head to the side to see the brunette's face next to his. Maria didn't hesitate to share a chaste kiss with him.</p><p>"I was so unlucky ... but then I met you," Levi says as he stares at her caramel eyes. Maria felt her cheeks get hotter by the second and seeing her react so cutely made Levi want to stop for a second and kiss her deeply. But he couldn't, as he needed to talk about some other things first.</p><p>"I'll try to be good for you, alright?" Levi says as he once again focuses his attention on the road, already spotting their home from afar. "But I am inexperienced when it comes to real relationships ... So, I might make mistakes once in a while ... I am hoping you will be comfortable enough with me to tell me my mistakes and guide me to a good path ... for the both of us."</p><p>"I think we are on a good start," Maria smiles as she kisses his cheek. Levi was never really one for contact nor affections like this ... But when it came to her, he didn't mind at all. "Let's be together for a long time, alright?"</p><p>Levi stood quiet as Maria went back to place her head on his shoulder and cuddle in between Levi's neck. She didn't know, but Levi's soft smile became bigger the moment she pronounced her words. It was a fast thought, a quick one ... A thought of a peaceful life, in a tea shop, Maria and him. Even if he wasn't too fond of kids, he wouldn't mind having one or two. He knew he was ridiculous for thinking so far into a future that may not happen. It was strange, but for the first time, he was looking forwards to the future.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>They slept together and it was nice for both of them to just feel each other and cuddle away. They both wished for the morning to be eternal as their bodies radiated enough warmth, the blankets above them, and their breathings matched each other.</p><p>Maria opens her eyes slowly as her eyes adjusted to the sunlight coming from the window. It was a bright morning and cold as well. She was glad to see that Levi was still as sleep, his black hair raffled and short as she had cut it off a bit the night before. She ran her fingers through his undercut, loving how soft it was. Her actions gave her a small growl coming from Levi as he was starting to wake up.</p><p>His blue eyes blinked a little and he was happy to see the brunette next to him, her hands caressing his hair and he wished for everything sacred that they could stay like this for a little bit longer.</p><p>But of course, nothing could be eternal as they both had their responsibilities.</p><p>"Good morning," she softly says but Levi only blinked a few times until he decided to go back to sleep.</p><p>"You have to wake up, you have training remember?" Maria plants a small kiss on his nose, as she stands up from the bed and stretched her arms.</p><p>"No," he mumbles as tries to keep his eyes closed. His insomnia never lets him sleep and there were few times in which he could sleep like this and he appreciated it. However, he knew well that now that Maria will be leaving for a couple of weeks, he won't be able to sleep like this.</p><p>"Come on Levi, don't make tickle you," Maria warns him although she had to admit that it will be nice to hear him laugh.</p><p>"I don't get tickles," he says, still his eyes closed. "And don't even dare to try."</p><p>But it was too late, now Maria made it her personal mission to find his tickle places. She goes back to the bed and began to touch his body, especially his back since it was the part of his body that it was mostly exposed.</p><p>"Nothing?" Maria asks as she looks at him.</p><p>"No, but keep going, it feels nice," Levi says as he feels her hands on his back, liking how it almost felt like a message.</p><p>But suddenly, he feels her going down on his exposed feet. Her hands softly touching the plant of his foot and he couldn't help it but flinched a little.</p><p>"Oh, I found it!" Maria says as she began to tickle his feet. And Levi couldn't help it but move uncontrollably. He covers his mouth as he tries to contain his laughter knowing that if she keeps it like that, he will give up eventually.</p><p>"Wait, stop!" Levi almost begs as Maria had his foot around her arm, trying hard to keep tickling his left foot.</p><p>"Too late!" She kept tickling him as she was finally able to hear Levi's uncontrollable laugh. It was a nice thing to hear in the morning and she wouldn't mind hearing it every day. But suddenly, she feels how Levi's right leg pushes her off the bed, making her fall to the ground.</p><p>Humanity's strongest soldier and the house attendant look at each other for a brief second. She was on the floor while he was still on top of the bed.</p><p>"Sorry! It was an impulse!" Levi tries to explain as he sees that Maria stands up from the floor.</p><p>"Oh, now you want to fight?" Maria jumps back into the bed as she was fast to grab a pillow and hit Levi on the face with it.</p><p>Now, this was becoming interesting. He didn't hesitate to grab another pillow and slam it against her body, trying to be as delicate as he could.</p><p>"Pillow fight!" Maria says as he began to swing her pillow around trying to hit Levi with it. Levi was invested too. He would normally think that these kinds of things were childish but he found himself having a good time with the brunette. Never in a thousand years would he imagine that he will be having a pillow fight with a woman he cares for so much.</p><p>Pillow fights would be something kids would do and it was something that he never did as a kid. It was strange, but he felt a bit overwhelmed and happy at the moment for being able to enjoy something as simple as this.</p><p>"Are you alright?" Maria asks as she lets down her guard, seeing that Levi's mood had suddenly changed. "Did I hurt you?"</p><p>"No, it's just ..." Levi gulped his saliva as he throws his pillow back on the bed. Standing up, he walks around the bed as he walks towards Maria. The act surprised her as he wraps his arms around her.</p><p>"Levi?"</p><p>Maria felt him caress her hair as he places his head in between her neck and shoulder. They stayed like that for a few seconds before pulling away, a soft smile placed on his lips.</p><p>"Thank you," he looks up to her. Although she was only a few inches taller than him, he still enjoyed her height. It was an assent he enjoyed very much about her and he had to admit that he was extremely lucky that Maria seems not to care that he was a few inches shorter than her.</p><p>"Let's drink some tea and get ready,"</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>
  <em>It was one of those mornings in which Elise wished to stay in bed all day. It was the weekend and her team was probably in town and they won't be coming back until later. She could hear Levi's breathing slowly and her heart felt content. Just them, being together was completely fine for her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But to her bad luck, Levi was slowly starting to wake up, and as soon as he did he straights up his back and takes and sits on the bed. Tragically, it was usually like this. Him being distant wasn't something abnormal in their relationship. Although she would try to make him open up once in a while, today she didn't have the time to do that.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I wish we could stay longer together," Elise says as she covers her naked body with her blankets as she looks over to Levi who sat next to her. "But tragically, I have to see my parents."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"That doesn't sound too bad," Levi responded. They have been going out for a couple of months now and nothing felt like it changed through the course of these last months. Not like Levi minded much but was this what relationships were all about? Weren't these things supposed to make you happy? What was the hype about?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Believe me, I prefer to go outside the walls than going to my parent's house," she kept looking at him as she enjoys seeing him first thing in the morning. His bare skin and defined muscles, his messy hair. He was definitely a handsome man. "I hate them, I wish they were dead honestly."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Levi had to admit that her words made him a bit uncomfortable. But he still tried to make some conversation, at least he wanted to try and improve their relationship.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I never got to spend much time with my mother-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"But I guess I have to spend time with them if I want to keep the money," Elise says as she stands up from the bed. Disregarding Levi's words as she didn't hear him. "Are you doing something today?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"... Clean," Levi replies, feeling embarrassed. What if he tries again? Maybe they could do something else besides sex. "After you come back, do you want to help me clean? We can drink tea afterwards."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Pass, but I'll see you tonight again?" Elise leaned in to kiss him and he accepted the act. Elise is incredibly beautiful and had a strong personality which Levi found extremely attractive. And honestly, he thought that he could feel something for her. But as more time he spent with her, the more he felt like they were becoming a part.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yeah, sure."</em>
</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>
  <em>"And remember to water the plants!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I will,"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"And remember to sleep on your bed."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I will,"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Wear socks! It's getting colder at night-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Maria, I am a grown man,"</em>
</p><p>It was strange for him to be thinking about Maria when just a few moments ago his thoughts were filled with Elise. He had to admit that he will miss Maria, it was only a few weeks but still, he couldn't imagine how things were going to be now. He had become so used to her and her presence, it was going to be complicated but he was going to pull it off. After all, he lived without her before. Shouldn't be too bad ... right?</p><p>"Ah, shit, did I bring my house keys?"</p><p>Levi began to pat around his body, his pants, and jacket as he tried to look for his keys. Unfortunately, he didn't find them.</p><p><em>"Maybe I left them in the office?" </em>he thought.</p><p>His thoughts were interrupted as he heard some commotion in the training ground.</p><p>It was like any other day, training would always be like this. Fighting, then horse training, then 3D maneuver gear training. Levi will train as well. Although he worked more as a mentor than actual training. He would do a lot of weights and running and he would rest a bit during the fighting training.</p><p>Just like right now, he analyzes a soldier's moves and would point out how they could improve their technique.</p><p>And as he watched Petra getting taken down again and again by the same simple technique, he knew something was wrong. He knew that she wasn't at her best and something was distracting her.</p><p>And he knew what it was.</p><p>He walks into the arena, hating how the dirt and soil immediately attached to his boots. The wind became heavier and more aggressive as it was usual around this time of the year.</p><p>Levi finally gets to Petra, he looks down on her as she was on the ground covered with dirt from her past unsuccessful fights. A bit of embarrassment on her face and she looks away, not wanting to make eye contact.</p><p>"We need to talk,"</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Sitting down on the steps of the two step stairs of the training facility, the aura around them wasn't the best. The wooden stairs created a shrieking sound as people passed behind them. It wasn't the best place to talk but they gave them enough privacy as everyone else was too focused on training or so they thought.</p><p>He didn't know how to start, and he thought of his words carefully. "Petra ... I am sorry-"</p><p>"You don't have to apologize," she quickly says. She looks away as she didn't want to make eye contact with him, feeling that she might break the moment she sees Levi's eyes on her. "Deep down, I always knew that you two had something special going on."</p><p>"You know, I thought that it wouldn't matter if you were with me or not ... As long as you were happy, I would be happy,"Petra added, she felt her voice cracking but she tried her hardest to not show it. "And I can tell that you are happy, you act and look so different, I know she makes you happy so then why ... Why does it still hurt?"</p><p>Levi didn't know how to react nor what to say. At the end of the day, there was not much he could say nor apologizing was going to help. Because what would he apologize for? Levi was clear from the beginning that he didn't nor could have feelings for Petra. However, he still felt bad that he couldn't reciprocate her feelings.</p><p>"I wish this could be different," Levi tried to make eye contact but it was getting complicated since she seems to not want to do that. "But it's true ... She does make me happy and I guess what I am trying to say ... Is that I am sorry I couldn't reciprocate your feelings nor saying anything about my relationship with Maria before."</p><p>"As I said, you really have nothing to apologize ... It's your private life and you don't have to tell us anything about it," Petra places a hand on her head as a way to try and stop herself from looking at Levi. "But I wonder why didn't you tell us before? It's ok if you don't love me ... But aren't we friends? Everyone at the squad ... Don't your trust us?"</p><p>And she was right. Levi had been working on opening up about his feelings and Maria that he had forgotten that other people cared about him and his well being. It's just that before he wasn't able to see that. And if he was being completely honest, he thought that it was alright with how things were with them.</p><p>"To be honest with you, I am not completely sure of what I am doing," he says. "It's been six months since I became your Captain and now that I think about it, at the begging you always invited me to go to town and drink with everyone."</p><p>His words took Petra by surprise, this most be the first time she had a heart to heart talk with humanity's strongest soldier.</p><p>"But it was me, the problem was and will always be me because ... I just don't want to get attached," he made a small pause, he was even surprised at how easily his words were coming out. "Because of my own selfish feelings ... I put everyone aside and didn't consider anyone's comradeship nor their feelings."</p><p>Petra stood quiet, seeing that Levi still had more to say but was trying to find the right words.</p><p>"Everyone felt like I was pushing them away, right?" Levi tries to look at Petra again and this time their eyes finally met. "You all felt that I didn't care about you all and that's why the squad stopped from interacting with me ..."</p><p>Levi gave it more thought. He didn't realize it before but now it was starting to get clear. He wasn't only selfish with Maria, but he was also selfish with his team. Levi thought that keeping his distance and minding his own business was the best not for everyone but for himself. Without understanding that those simple actions caused his team to dismantle and their trust to tear away. They felt like they didn't matter in his spectrum and he was even surprised that when Maria came along, they didn't reprimand her since she took away all of his attention. But of course, they couldn't hate her because, at the end of the day, she wasn't at fault but him only. For never explaining things nor opening up to his team.</p><p>"When Maria came along ... everyone noticed that you felt something for her," Petra says as if she was reading his mind. "And you seemed so comfortable around her and you were so fast to open up to her ... It made us all wonder if we were that bad of a team."</p><p>How could explain it, that it was him the one at fault all along? How could he say that his feelings for Maria at the beginning were exclusively a sexual attraction? Was there a way he can say that without making it awkward? He even feels bad for thinking about the time he would only focus on Maria as a way to release his frustrations before.</p><p>"My feelings for Maria are different ... They were different before and now too," Levi whispers as he hopes that no one is around to hear him. "I know I feel something strong for her but I am not able to express it ... I am still confused and I am afraid that I may end up hurting her."</p><p>He sighs as he awkwardly places a hand on Petra's left shoulder.</p><p>"But I have no doubts when it comes to my feelings for my you and my squad. I care about you all and there's no doubt that I would do anything to protect you because ..." Levi looks away this time, not believing he was about to say this. "I care for you and trust you ... After all ... You are all my friends."</p><p>His words warmed her heart as she finally heard what she wanted. Maybe Levi doesn't love her romantically but he definitely loves them. In his own particular way of loving, even if he doesn't know it.</p><p>And her, that's all she wanted. To have a special place in the Captain's heart. For now, she could be content.</p><p>"You love us all, don't you?" Petra teases a little, a smile on her face. Levi had to admit that it was nice seeing her smile like that. "That's why you don't want to get attached because you are afraid you will lose us?"</p><p>"I don't love you all-" Levi found himself stumbling.</p><p>"Just admit it!" Petra punches his shoulder jokingly. She was finally starting to understand him. Maybe Levi's relationship with Maria was based on pleasure only at the beginning and along the way they found a common ground.</p><p>And if she was honest? She doesn't know if she could have pulled through the same thing Maria went through. She doesn't know the full details but from what she has talked to Maria and Levi; it seemed like at the begging their 'relationship' was a strange one. And she could imagine it, with Levi bein unable to express himself properly.</p><p>How long did Maria have to endure it? Being in love with a man who may not love her and maybe only using her for pleasure?</p><p>Petra wasn't even sure if she would have done the same thing and honestly, she didn't want to be put in a position like that either.</p><p>It was obvious enough for her, that Levi was indeed in love with the brunette. However, that wasn't something she could guarantee. Only Levi knew what was going on in his heart.</p><p>"You know, friendship is a type of love too!" Petra says. "And I am happy that you love us in your way ... We love you too Levi, so please don't be scared to open up to us either."</p><p>Levi looks around, trying to focus his attention on the training soldiers. However, that was impossible as his heart was beating fast due to the embarrassment. He looks as calm as he could be on the outside but on the inside, he was a mess. But it wasn't bad, he was glad to have clear things up with Petra. He also made a mental note to try to be more talkative with Eld, Oluo, and Gunter.</p><p>"Excuse me, sorry to interrupt but I need to talk to the Captain,"</p><p>A voice interrupts their moment as they both turn their heads to find Squad Leader Elise behind them. Strangely enough, she didn't seem bothered by the scene as Levi and Petra stood up.</p><p>"I'll go back to training Captain," Petra says as she looks at Levi with a resilient smile. The short man nods as he watches Petra walk away.</p><p>He turns around to face Elise again, he actually wanted to talk to her before but hasn't had the chance until now.</p><p>"Erwin sent me to give you this," Elise hands out the paper she has been holding into. Levi  accepts it and begins to read the document. "It's to create your official seal stamp, you have no last name and no documentation so you need to sign this ... Be careful, the way you write your name, that's how it's going to come out in your stamp."</p><p>Levi reads over the document and everything looks to be official and in order. However, he would like to take his time to read the document before signing it.</p><p>"I'll read it over and give it to Erwin first thing in the morning," he replies which Elise nods in agreement. "Besides that, there's something I've been wanting to talk to you about."</p><p>Elise's eyes shone immediately, she placed a string of her hair behind her ear seductively. "Yes, what is it?"</p><p>"Not long ago, Maria mentioned that she had some confrontation with some girls from the regiment ... and that you defended her," Levi kept his distance from the blond but still he had a strong gaze on her. "I wanted to thank you for that."</p><p>It wasn't that she didn't enjoy his gratitude, it was more that she was annoyed at the fact at how sincere he was. Extremely sincere and it was for an act that she didn't mean to do. Especially something that had to deal with the brunette.</p><p>"I told you didn't I? I just want the best for you and if she makes you happy, then I have to accept it," she lied completely. At least not in the part in which she wanted the best for him. She was the best option for Levi even if doesn't know it.</p><p>"I really appreciate it," he says. "By any chance, do you happen to know the women's names?"</p><p>Elise walks around him as she pretended not to care too much about his presence. "I do, but I won't tell you who they are."</p><p>"Why not? I need to talk to them."</p><p>"I already did and don't worry, they will stay away from ... your girlfriend," it was hard for her to pronounce the word without showing some type of annoyance. However, she was successful at it as she let out a small smile. "If you confront them, you might say something and may anger them ... and they may take out in Maria."</p><p>The beautiful woman looks at Levi who seemed to be in thought at her statement. She hated how Levi was so worried about Maria's well being as he calculated everything to cause her the least amount of pain.</p><p>"Besides, you harmed them enough already don't you think?" Elise looks away, a bit of her true personality showing. "I think they don't need a reminder of how terribly they failed to be your partners ... It was cruel of you ... To announce your relationship like that."</p><p>A few seconds passed in which Elise realized that she had messed up, this wasn't part of her character.</p><p>"But nevermind that," she says as she turns her head to look at him. "Doing any else for the rest of the day?"</p><p>"Well, Maria is not going to be home for a couple of weeks," he says. Levi was surprised by Elise's words and he has to admit he feels guilty about everything. "So, I'll dedicate myself to cleaning."</p><p>"She is not home? And why is that?" unintentionally they began to walk across the training ground, maintaining a distance but close enough to hear each other.</p><p>"It's part of a punishment ... which reminds me, I have to clean horse's shit after today's training," Levi rolls his eyes in annoyance as he began to look at the other soldiers, training. "But at least I am glad that Flaherty will be doing his fair punishment as well by cleaning the dining hall and the library."</p><p><em>"Nicholas is cleaning the library? I should check that out later," </em>Elise thought as she let out a smile decorate her face. "Well, I have to go check on my squad, remember to give the document back to Erwin as soon as possible."</p><p>"Yes, I know," Levi says. "It's just so annoying ... All the documentation I have to go through to get a stupid seal stamp."</p><p>Elise lets out a small giggle as she begins to walk away, slowly her plan was coming together.</p><p>"Look at it on the bright side!" Elise says. "If you miss your girlfriend, you can send her a letter."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Levi wasn't supposed to take any horses for personal purposes. Horses were strictly used for the usage of anything relating to the Survey Corps.</p><p>But here he was, using one because he wanted to go see his girlfriend.</p><p>His ... girlfriend.</p><p>Hange's squad place was quite far away from his and it was all more convenient to use a horse. He still didn't know how to face her nor what to use as an excuse. The best thing he could think of was that he saw a tulip flower on the way back home and she likes those types of things. So, he didn't want the flower to go to waste. That was a lie, there were a bunch of tulip flowers around the training grounds ... He just wanted to see her.</p><p>So, here he was.</p><p>In front of Hange's squad house, holding a pink tulip on his hand and looking like a lost child in the middle of the night. He knocked three times on the door and waited for someone to answer, hopefully, it was the brunette he is been wanting to see.</p><p>And a brunette did open, but not the one he was looking for.</p><p>"Oh, Romeo! What brings you here?" Hange has a teasing smile as she leaned on the door. "It hasn't even been a whole day and you already miss your Juliet?"</p><p>Levi rolls his eyes in annoyance. Although things were already clear with his relationship with Maria, he didn't expect to be teased this much. Why was it so strange for everyone to accept the fact that a 28-year-old man had a girlfriend?</p><p>"Where is Maria?" he asks as he pretended he didn't hear her previous question.</p><p>"She is out to get some water from the well" Hange replies.</p><p>"Did she go alone?"</p><p>"Moblit went with her," she says. "Nicholas would have gone with her if it wasn't because he is the library cleaning."</p><p>Levi knew what Hange was trying to do, he was trying to make him jealous but that wasn't going to work. At least he wasn't going to show it in front of her.</p><p>"Will she be back soon?" Levi asks as to avoid her previous statement, the tulip flower still behind his back.</p><p>"Yes, they should be back at any moment," Hange says as she opens up the door a little as to invite him to come in. "We still need to figure out where to she is going sleep ... Maybe with Nicholas just for tonight?"</p><p>"Don't you even think about it," this time Levi has a more serious face.</p><p>"Haha, I am joking she will sleep on Lisa's room," Hange says. "Ah, I hope Lisa comes back soon, Maria is great! But I do miss Lisa's presence in the house too."</p><p>"Yeah, I want her to come back already too, I don't want Maria picking up on any of your weirdness."</p><p>"Hey! You are so mean!"</p><p>"Levi?"</p><p>He recognizes the voice almost immediately as he turns around he founds Maria behind him, Moblit next to her. She was carrying a small bucket of water while Moblit carried a bigger one.</p><p>"Oh, Maria look!" Hange says in surprise as she saw Levi's back. "Levi brought you a tulip!"</p><p>
  <em>"Fuck you shitty glasses."</em>
</p><p>"Well, now that you are here, I need to talk to you," Levi takes away the bucket off her hands and places it on the floor. "Now, if you excuse us ... I need to talk to her privately."</p><p>Suddenly, Levi grabs Maria's hand and they exit the house as a few teasing eyes look at them leave.</p><p>They didn't go too far. Actually, they went to the other side of the house. Unintentionally, Levi placed Maria's back against the wall of the small house. He would have taken her to a more private place but he enjoyed the light that was coming from the house.</p><p>It was starting to get colder and almost like an instinct, Levi moves his body closer to hers. Maria felt many things going through her. The cold house wall against her back, the wind softly moving her hair, the sound of crickets, and Levi's natural heat radiating off him.</p><p>"Did something happen?" she looks away as she tried to hide her embarrassment. "What brings you here?"</p><p>"Oh, I saw this flower and thought you might want it," Levi tried to act as normal as possible but even he knew that it was a stupid excuse to come see her.</p><p>"You came all of this way, to give me this flower?"</p><p>Maria accepts the pink tulip, it was starting to perish already due to the cold weather but she didn't care.</p><p>"Yeah, I guess so," he replies. Strangely enough, his thoughts were diverting to another place. He was looking up to her, it was only a few inches of difference. But he couldn't help it, to feel the tiniest of insecurity. His height had never bothered him that much, especially since he always got the job done with the ladies. But in all honesty, he never thought of himself as being attractive, and he was aware that he lacked in many things. He wasn't the best looking and taking a look at Maria, it made him wonder why was she even with him? When she could do so much better.</p><p>"Maria," Levi got the brunette's attention as before she was focused on the flower.</p><p>"Yes?"</p><p>"Do you find me ... attractive?" he asks as he also began to look away. "It's just that I can't see what you find so appealing about me ... I mean I don't even have the best of personalities so ..."</p><p>"That's a bit of a random question, don't you think?" she asks teasingly but her face immediately changed when she noticed how serious Levi's face was.</p><p>"Just ... answer my question," Levi says as he places his hands across her, touching the cold house wall with his palms.</p><p>Levi gazes at Maria intensely as he waited for an answer and he was surprised to see that the brunette placed her hands on his shoulders. She softly closes her eyes and instinctively, he follows as he feels his lips being touched by hers.</p><p>But it wasn't just a simple kiss, Maria wanted to let him know just how much she desires him. That he shouldn't feel insecure about his looks when it comes to her. And of course that she was extremely attracted to him. In a sense, it was that same attraction that brought them together.</p><p>Levi was always one to take dominance but even he had to admit that he felt his knees go weak the moment he felt Maria bite his lower lip. Their tongues intertwining as they exchanged saliva, the fluids becoming into one. He places a hand behind her waist as he tries to bring her closer to his body but at the act, Maria breaks the kiss and she moves down to his neck. Giving soft kisses against his skin as she played with her tongue, leaving a trail of saliva and a small hickey on his neck.</p><p>"Does that prove it?" Maria says as she was still close to Levi, using her free hand to play with his hair. "Just how much I want you?"</p><p>And that was it for Levi, he just found it pleasurable when she was the one to take the initiative. Ever since he met her, he couldn't think of anything else but to be completely at her feet. He likes to dominate her but he also found comfort to be submissive to her, probably because it was just a reminder that she wanted him as much as he wanted her.</p><p>Without noticing their kisses began to be more heated as if they didn't know what shame was. As if they didn't care that they could be caught at any second. As if they weren't making out outside of someone's house.</p><p>Levi feels how Maria began to pull his hair as he instinctively picks up the ends of her dress, wanting to touch her creamy legs.</p><p>"Keep pulling my hair like that and I'll kick everyone out of the house, I don't care if it's not our place," Levi whispers to her ear, actually considering doing just that.</p><p>"Levi, I do want you and I want to be with you," Maria smiles a bit apologetic. "But not today."</p><p>"Uh? Why not?"</p><p>"Besides that my stomach hurts ... Not to be mean but you smell like horse's poop,"</p><p>And just like that, the mood was ruined. And it wasn't like he could be angry at her either because she was right. He spent so much time cleaning the horses' shit that he had probably just got used to the smell. Now all he wanted was to take a bath.</p><p>"Wait, your stomach hurts?" Levi takes a few steps back to give Maria her space and not bother her with his bad smell. "Are you alright?"</p><p>"Yes, don't worry about it, I am fine," she smiles at him and that assures him just a little.</p><p>"Make sure to drink some tea tonight. If you don't feel so well, tell Hange to take you to the infirmary and to notify me so I-"</p><p>"I am fine! It's just a stomach ache," the house attendant walks closer to him. She felt a little bit bad about telling him that he smelled like horses' defecation and she wanted to make up for that. "Also, tomorrow I'll be going to visit the kids at the refugee's facility at Trost district, so in case you don't hear from me, that's why."</p><p>"How long will you stay?"</p><p>"I can only stay for one day, so I'll be coming back either that same night or the next day in the morning," Maria says. "Erwin will also give me my own office, not as big as yours but it will be enough to archive files of the kids and such."</p><p>Levi couldn't help it but feel happy for her. She seems excited about tomorrow and although he worries that something like last time may happen, he knew he only could trust her decision. However, talking about the kids, that reminded him of something. A small girl with black hair, saying about how she saw Nicholas and Maria kiss before. It was something he didn't want to bring up but he couldn't deny that he wanted to know exactly what happened.</p><p>"I am proud of you," Levi says. And he looks over to her, he decided to keep quiet for now. He didn't want to ruin the mood, seeing that she was happy. He should keep the question for the next time they talk. "Also, about your office ... I think we will be spending a long time there, don't you think?"</p><p>"We?"</p><p>"Yes, we."</p><p>"Ah, even in horse shit you still say things so lightly," Maria joked around as she let out a small giggle. "I can see why you are so popular with the ladies."</p><p>"But, do you still love me?" Levi asks. "Even if I smell like horse shit?"</p><p>"Yes, absolutely."</p><p>Maria laughs a little as she hears that Levi also let out a small laugh. He funnily ruffles her hair, getting an annoyed look from the brunette. He knew he had to leave soon, but he just wanted to join her company a bit longer. It was nice, he didn't know that being in a relationship like this could feel so pleasant.</p><p>Even just like this, he enjoyed her company. And they didn't even have to talk, silence was fine with them too. They had their awkward moments from time to time as they were both new in the relationship.</p><p>But relationships weren't perfect as far as he knew and there will be trouble. Nonetheless, Levi wouldn't mind spending all the time in the world trying to make up things with her. She was worth all his time, all his effort and support.</p><p>He was still learning and was afraid to make mistakes. But seeing her happy made him feel relieved that he wasn't that bad at being a good boyfriend.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Levi didn't expect to get home this late. It was around 12 am and in all honesty, it didn't matter to him. He didn't feel sleepy and it was due to his insomnia. Not like he minded much, he wanted to stay up cleaning the storage room, aka Maria's room.</p><p>It wasn't that it needed cleaning, her room was tidy but a part of him still felt bad that she had to sleep in the storage room. Where cans, packages, and boxes of food remained. Maybe he could organize it better and give her a little bit more space for her to enjoy.</p><p>After taking a bath and making sure he smells good, he took a broom and headed towards her room. With no much thought, he enters her room and began to clean around.</p><p>Sweeping the floor, he couldn't think much. Well, that was a lie. He was thinking too much about a house attendant.</p><p>He saw her a few hours ago but hell, he wanted her so much at the moment. He felt something inside of him growing bigger as he remembers the way Maria kissed him, the way her fingers would touch his clothes as she pulls him closer to her body. Feeling her breast against his chest, the way her respiration would increase the longer they kiss.</p><p>And heck ... Levi honestly didn't know how he had self-control when he felt Maria's hands pull his hair.</p><p>A part of Levi was telling him to fuck everything and go back to Hange's house and kick everyone out so Maria and he could do ... very pleasant things together.</p><p>And he wanted to do so many things with her. Things that he didn't have the courage to ask at least not this early on the relationship. His mind wouldn't stop thinking of many different situations. Of the things that he wanted to do.</p><p>Against the wall, while he picks up her legs. Maria on her knees while he holds her hair gently so she can continue pleasing him without problems. His face in between her legs as he hears her moan. Making her beg a little, maybe a lot.</p><p>There were so many things he wanted to explore with her and could you blame him? He had waited so long to be with her and to open up fully but it seems like some way or another, destiny kept them apart.</p><p>And the longer she was away from him, the more he wanted her.</p><p>He only has had her two times so far, although he has moments in which he wanted her many times before. It turned him on, simple and stupid things as well. Like how she would come back home, all sweaty after washing clothes. Or the winks Maria will throw his way from time to time. Or the time he found Maria cleaning her room in the morning, still wearing some of his clothes.</p><p>He remembers that clearly and although he doesn't show it much, he held himself back as he exited the room. Knowing too well that if he stayed longer, he wouldn't have hesitated to close the door and make sweet love to her the whole day.</p><p><em>"Shit," </em>Levi lets out a heavy sigh as he looks down at his crotch area. His member already hurting as it pressed lightly against his clothed area. He tried to stop it, of trying to thinking about anything else but her.</p><p>But the harder he tried, the worst it will get. Levi could only think of him on top of her. Maria's face as she moans his name, as her nails leave scars on his back and the pain of it will soon turn into pleasure.</p><p>Levi couldn't help it as he left the broom fall to the floor. He quickly laid on Maria's bed, her lavender scent still radiating off the sheets. He unbuttons his pants and lowers his underwear to expose his erect member. He begins to let out soft moans and growls of ecstasy as he massages his intimacy, his eyes closed as he remembers his pasts moments with the brunette.</p><p>"<em>I want her ... I want to be with her,"</em></p><p>He keeps stroking his member as his moans began to get louder.</p><p>
  <em>"I wan to make love to her, I want her to say my name,"</em>
</p><p>Levi remembers her clearly, her brown long hair. Her caramel eyes that shone beautifully under the sun. The way her hips would move from side to side, enchanting him.</p><p>
  <em>"I want to feel her skin, her body trembling against mine,"</em>
</p><p>He felt himself getting close to climax and his mind had fully obliged and only thought of the house attendant now. Her lavender smell intoxicating his nostrils as if he had sniffed the most addictive drug.</p><p>
  <em>"Maria ... I want you so much,"</em>
</p><p>He releases himself as he finally felt his breathing regulate. It didn't take long for him to feel like trash as he takes a look at his now dirty hand. White fluids covering it.</p><p><em>"I am disgusting ... thinking of her while she is probably asleep," </em>with one hand, he places his member back inside his underwear and buttons his pants back on. "<em>I am a piece of shit ... Fucking pervert."</em></p><p>He stands up as he still kept reprimanding himself. It was strange that he already did love to her but still felt guilty whenever he sexually thought of her. Levi sees her as the woman she is, but he still respected her fully.</p><p>And thinking about her like this, without her knowing ... it just felt like he was disrespecting her.</p><p>Levi exits her room and walks towards the restroom. As he opens the door to the restroom, he enters and closes the wooden door behind him. He quickly went over to the bucket of water on the floor and washes his hand with soap. As he did, he took the time to get some of the water and splashed his face with the cold water.</p><p>
  <em>"What I feel for her ... Is it only sexual attraction? Sexual desire?"</em>
</p><p>Levi looks at his reflection on the bucket of water. His image slowly distorting as the water moves. Before he was one to enjoy his alone time, but now he had to admit that hated the fact of staying alone forever.</p><p>Because his thoughts would go wild, remembering things without meaning and others with a lot. Flashbacks of the past and the worries of the future. The deaths of his friends and the ones he couldn't avoid.</p><p>
  <em>"No, not now,"</em>
</p><p>He began to feel heavy as he felt that air left his lungs. It was becoming blurry and he felt cold. Shivers running down his whole body. His hands began to sweat and he was thinking of a way of distraction. Maybe hitting himself, pulling his hair, or hitting the ground. Anything but this feeling that was starting to rise inside of him.</p><p>
  <em>"It's ok, just breath with me ... You can get through this."</em>
</p><p>Maria's voice resonated within him and he decided that it was better to think of her. Of her smile, of her being, about how she took care of him that night. Of the many things, he wanted to say that night.</p><p><em>"I am ok ... Please don't worry," </em>Levi thought as he focused on his breathing. How he tried to imitate his actions back then when Maria held him in her arms. <em>"I am sorry you have to see me this way."</em></p><p>Images of her began flashing across his mind. He tried his best to get better, wishing for her to not see him in that state. <em>"Thank you for being here ... I'll be alright, I promise."</em></p><p>Maybe that's why he felt so guilty whenever he thought of her indecently. Because to him, Maria was something pure, the best thing that has happened to him in a long time. And it just felt wrong to want her this much, to have such strong feelings for her.</p><p>Yes, he felt extremely attached to her. There was no doubt of that. But he also couldn't deny that his heart had a special place for her, that he craved for her body as much as he craved for her soul, maybe even more. She was the only one to bring him comfort, the one that helps him go through moments of pain even when she wasn't here.</p><p>And those pure feelings he had for her was what made him wonder if it was alright for him to want her so badly.</p><p>He didn't know the answer, maybe he could talk to her about it once they have the time. But for now, as his breathing stabilized, he realized that as long as she is there he will be alright. He will be fine and more than content ... as long as she there to guide him.</p><p>
  <em>"I'll be alright."</em>
</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>A couple of days passed in which Levi has not heard from Maria. He wanted to go visit her but found himself with little time. As well that she was probably too busy organizing documents from her visit to the refugee facility. It must be a lot harder for her as well. She has done a great advancement in her reading as writing but she was slow and some words were still complicated for her to understand. Levi had offered to help her but the brunette refused as she said that she must be the one responsible for her job.</p><p>Now he was on his way to Erwin's office, a place he didn't like so much. Especially because bad news always came whenever he went to that place.</p><p>Erwin's new office was bigger and the perfect place for the new commander of the Survey Corps. The windows behind his desk provided plenty of light to appreciate the whole room. The wooden desk was that of medium size and there were plenty of books on both sides of the office's walls.</p><p>But as Levi enters his office, he wasn't expecting to see three familiar figures. Two were sitting in front of Erwin's desk, Nicholas and Maria and Elise was standing, close to the other figures.</p><p>"What is going on?" Levi immediately felt negative about the situation although he was content to see Maria.</p><p>"I gather you all here today because I want to talk about a few issues," Erwins says as he looks at Levi who placed himself behind Maria's chair in a protective manner.</p><p>"First of all, I would like to announce that in six months from now, I will be granted permission to give freedom to our house attendants ... You all will no longer be consider the property of the Survey Corps ... Of no one," Erwin says this with a serious face which for Levi that surprised him. They were good news, weren't they? The house attendants won't be forced to stay here nor do jobs they don't want to do.</p><p>"So? What is the problem," Levi asks.</p><p>"The problem is that once I do that, Ms. Maria will be free but she won't be able to stay above ground," Erwin makes a small pause. "She will be sent underground."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>Seeing his confusion, Maria decided to speak up and talk about her situation. "When I left home, my parents legally revoked me their last name ... Legally, I have no parents, no last name ... Therefore, I am no one."</p><p>"She is in a similar situation to you," Erwin continues as it seems like Levi wasn't following. "You are allowed to stay above ground as long as you serve the Survey Corps ... Maria is allowed to stay here because she is property, not a person."</p><p>"But she works on the Survey Corps, doesn't that qualify as serving too?"</p><p>"To serve, it means to fight, to go outside the walls," the Commander looks over at the brunette with an apologetic face. "Not offense Ms. Maria but I am sure you are aware that it takes years of training to even master the 3D maneuver."</p><p>"No offense taken, it's the truth," she replies.</p><p>Levi tries his best to calm down and try to understand the situation but he was finding it difficult. The underground city was a horrible place to live and he didn't wish for anyone to live there. "Do we have any other options?"</p><p>"I've talked it with Erwin," Elise interrupts this time, she was standing against the bookshelf. Her back softly resting on the wooden shelf.</p><p>"Maria could convince her parents to recognize her as their daughter again."</p><p>"I haven't talked to my parents in years. They hate me, they blame me for my brother's death," the brunette sighs as a small flashback of her parents pop in her mind. "After what happened to Wall Maria, I don't even know if they are ... alive. It's going to be hard to find them but I'll try."</p><p>At her words, Levi asks again. "Plan B?"</p><p>"Maria can marry me and I'll give her my last name," this time it was Nicholas who got into the conversation. For him the solution was easy. "I'll do it, end of the story."</p><p>"I can't marry you," Maria, who sat on the chair next to him, looks at Nicholas in the eyes. "It will be cruel for me to do that to you."</p><p>"Why not?" he asks as he looks at her intensely. He knew that she didn't have any feelings for him. And she didn't have to, they could marry and they didn't have to act like a married couple. "It's ok, I don't mind giving you my last name."</p><p>"I am with Levi and I plan to be with him for a long time," Maria appreciated his help. However, she had to be realistic too. Maria knew that marrying Nicholas would not only hurt Levi's pride but she would also end up hurting the redhead. "You say you love me right now but maybe one day you will find someone you want to have a family with and you can't because you are married to me."</p><p>Nicholas stood quiet at her words. One because it hurts, the fact that Maria was planing of staying with Levi for a long time. All of his hopes shattered but this was never about him. He knew it was time to move on but he still couldn't get rid of his feelings for her completely. Maria seems content with the Captain and that was all that matter to him but he couldn't deny the fact that he still felt uneasy about Maria's decision. He wanted the best for her. At least that's what he had realized when he talked to Elise the day she helped him clean the library.</p><p>"Which leads to plan C," Elise's voice interrupted the moment seeing that Nicholas had stayed quiet for quite a long time.</p><p>"Which is?" Levi asks. He didn't have time to think about it, but hearing Maria saying to Nicholas that she wanted to stay a long time with him made him happy.</p><p>"I'll pay someone to marry you," Elise walks over to Maria, and instinctively, Levi's body flinched a little as if he wanted to get in front of her. "You don't have to meet him, ever ... Just sign the document and you will be good to go."</p><p>"You ... would do that?" Maria was baffled, seeing that Elise was willing to pay someone to marry her. Something that was really expensive. The idea bothers her a bit. She escaped home because she didn't want to marry by force ... But now it seems like she had no other option.</p><p>"Yeah, believe me, it's not as unusual as you think it is," Elise comforted her and of course Levi's previous action did not go unnoticed. "Many people marry to gain citizenship above ground or inside wall Sina ... It's not legal but no one has to know."</p><p>"And who is this person?" Levi asks. Right now, he felt miserable. The fact that he couldn't help Maria. He could simply end this situation by just marrying her but he had no last name either. And although he didn't want to admit it, it hurts. That he is never going to be able to marry her either for the simple fact that he never knew his last name.</p><p>Marriage sucks.</p><p>"He is a good person, he has worked as my family's protector inside wall Sina since I can remember," Elise tries to bring some type of comfort to Levi as well. "He is quite old, he has no children, no wife, very secretive ... When he dies the little that he owns will go to you ... A perfect candidate."</p><p>"And what is this person's name?"</p><p>At the question, Elise smiles. She seems to not be as worried about the situation as the rest. To her, money could solve everything and this wasn't the exception.</p><p>"Alon Ackerman."</p><p> </p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>A/N: (Posting these  questions here because I can't in the end notes lol)</p><p>As we are close to the ending, I'll open a small section of Q&amp;A. These are from my Wattpad/Tumblr readers who have sent me messages asking these questions. (Ao3, you can also ask, lol)</p><p>
  <b>1. Before starting to write One Last Time, did you have any other plots in mind?</b>
</p><p>Yes! One Last Time was supposed to be a modern AU and a romantic comedy. I had a lot of ideas, like a cafe AU and a teachers/co-workers AU, I kinda wanted to follow the cliches lol. In the end, I decided to just go with the actual AOT universe because I thought the plot fitted better on it.</p><p>
  <b>2. Where did you get inspiration for Maria's character design?</b>
</p><p>Besides sketching Maria after Levi's fangirls, I had a pretty good rendering of her character before even starting to write her.</p><p>During the time that I was drafting the story, I was watching a Mexican telenovela called <em>'Corazon Salvaje' </em>it's based during the Mexican colonial times, well not colonial but after Spanish colonization (I am not certain about the period of time, sorry). There is a side character called 'Lulu' she is a tavern dancer and a prostitute. From what I remember she went into prostitution because her father was abusive and she left home at a young age. Her story was more interesting to me and I thought the actress was very beautiful even when she had very 'simple' features. Brown hair, brown eyes, and beautiful tanned skin.</p><p>So yeah, my character 'Maria' is heavily based on her!</p><p>
  <b>3. Are you planning for a sequel?</b>
</p><p>A have a prequel planned. Originally, I had three books planned.</p><p><b>Prequel: </b><b><em>The First Time</em></b> - The story of Elise and Levi. This story would explain the past of Levi and Elise (And talk about Maria and Nicholas' relationship) And it would have more of the things the Levi fandom likes. Sex, a toxic relationship, and drama. (Let's be honest that's what sells)</p><p>But I am excited to write it and work on it, although it will be way shorter than this story. (Around 100K)</p><p><b><em>One Last Time</em></b> (The story you are reading right now lol)</p><p><b><em>The Last Time</em></b> - It will follow AOT current timeline.</p><p>To be honest with you, all of this is prone to change. It all depends on how AOT ends. If Levi dies, then I don't know if I would the energy to write this book.</p><p>Also, I wrote<em> One Last Time</em> to give Levi the ending he deserves. I won't add to his pain.</p><p>
  <b>4. Where does Maria's name come from?</b>
</p><p>It's never mentioned in the story because I didn't think it was necessary. I wanted a common name to add to Maria's simplicity but I also wanted to make it unique. I don't think there's an AOT character named Maria (There's Marie, tho) Maria is a pretty common name in European countries but in AOT is only used for '<em>Wall Maria</em>.' Context wise, Maria's parents named her like that in honor of<em> 'Wall Maria' </em>(Because people think of the Walls as divine and holy) They thought that by naming their daughter after a goddess, she will be pure and have a good life ... Which was the contrary lol.</p><p>Also, I see that in a lot of Levi x OC fanfiction, they try to give the OC a very unique name (which is not wrong) it just doesn't feel organic to me so I decided to go for something simple and easy to remember.</p><p>
  <b>5. Before, you said that this was Levi's story ... What did you mean by that</b>
  <b>
    <em>?</em>
  </b>
</p><p>As I said before, I had three books planned, and in all three books, the only concurring character is Levi. I wanted my story to explore Levi's character more in-depth.</p><p>This story came into life for two reasons.</p><p>1. For Levi to experience some happiness in his life and for this to be my comfort story.<br/>2.To relieve my frustrations of the Levi fanfiction out there.</p><p>I've just read so many fanfictions in which Levi is basically just an object of sex used to please the reader's needs. I am sure there are different ones out there that don't' follow that format but there are just so many in which the main interaction between Levi and the OC is just sex (which there's nothing wrong with that but after reading so many stories that follow that format, it really becomes frustrating and boring)</p><p>Sex is good and all but you know what is better? When you have sex with a person that you have an emotional connection with. (I guess that's also why it took so long for Maria and Levi to do it lol)</p><p>And I am not saying that my story is better than others, it's just my personal preference to build up tension and emotions and explore each character. (That's why this story is hella long lol)</p><p>As I said, I try for my writing to be a little bit different from other repetitive stories.</p><p>I wanted to explore Levi's character and his character is very complexed. I've seen that a lot of fanfics portray Levi as this mean, edgy, sex machine character when he is much more than that. He has internal problems, mental issues, he comes from a very interesting background. His character is so good and I don't want to make his character any less than that.</p><p>In my story, I wanted to show you all the best and worst of Levi. His ups and downs, his good decisions, and the bad ones. I wanted to show Levi trying to figure out his feelings, who he is as a person, and experience love. A feeling that is so normal but unknown to him.</p><p class="">That is why this is Levi's story.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N: When I say I cut off so many things ... I did lol (I wanted to write a small moment between Oluo and Petra and Maria going back to see the children) . I'll try my best to implement that in the next chapter as we are going to have a time skip. I must say ... The next chapter ... uff the angst if going through the roof. The angst is going to be really good, I promise.</p><p>In this chapter, we are moving along with the final arc, we are meeting a new Ackerman. Remember at this point Levi doesn't know his last name. More information was released and I honestly hope you enjoy the last couple of chapters which will be filled with angst, drama, comfort, action, and death. I won't say too much for now to avoid any spoilers but yeah ... I hope you are enjoying this so far!</p><p>Alright, sorry for the long notes. I'll try my best to shorten the answers next time. Also, if you have any questions you want me to answer, let me know! I'll be more than happy to.</p><p>Thank you so much for reading One Last Time, it's a story that I put a lot of time and effort into and I am happy people are enjoying it.</p><p>I encourage all types of comments! It really helps me improve and stay motivated! Once again ... Thank you all so much!</p><p>See you next week!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Reasons</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>She remembers telling him to stop, her cries of help, and how they began to softly subside. Knowing that it was impossible for anyone to hear her. Her torn dress and her wrists red due to the strong hands holding her against the floor. The knife that was against her neck, almost touching her skin. She remembers looking at the wooden ceiling as she tried her best to contain the pain that overtook her body the moment the unknown man took her dignity.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I am sorry ... But I have to do this,"</em>
</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p><em>"Why ... am I remembering this? Why right now</em>?"</p><p>After Erwin told Maria that she had six months to figure out what she wanted to do with her situation, she exited the room alongside the soldiers.</p><p>"Elise, are you sure this man is trustworthy?" Levi asks they were on the hallways, right outside Erwin's office.</p><p>"Absolutely, I am going inside Wall Sina soon to see my parents, would you like to come with me and meet him?" The blond asks seeing that this could be a good opportunity to have some time with Levi.</p><p>"Mmm, that seems like a good idea," Levi says and he turns around to look at Maria. "What do you say, Maria-"</p><p>It was an expression Levi had never seen on her face before. Total panic, despair, as if she was in a nightmare she couldn't wake up. The light in her eyes was gone and for a moment Levi felt terrified and his body couldn't move.</p><p>"Maria?"</p><p>It was Nicholas' voice the one who broke her out of her trance. A certain relief filled Levi's body the moment he saw her go back to herself. But he saw her, holding into Nicholas' arm as if life depended on it.</p><p>At that, the redhead immediately knew what was going on. His guilt overtaking him as he placed an arm around her shoulders. Although the act made Levi feel the tiniest of jealousy, he didn't say anything. Seeing that it brought some comfort to the brunette, Levi couldn't help but wonder ... Just what was going through her mind.</p><p>"Are you having flashbacks?" Nicholas asks as Maria nods. The handsome man looks back at Elise and Levi. "We are going back home, I think Maria just had a long day."</p><p>And just like that, Maria and Nicholas left. Levi watched them and he couldn't help but feel his heart hurt a little. Because it seems like no matter how much he tries ... He couldn't help her.</p><p>And that thought was killing him alive.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Levi hasn't seen Maria in days and now he was really starting to miss her. Something he will never admit but as he walks through the corridors of the Survey Corps facility, the more he thought of her. He was in his way to see Erwin again, he hated it going to his office but there was no other way around.</p><p>He had realized just how much easier and how much he took Maria's presence in the house for granted. Yes, he was used to the cleaning and cooking in the house before she arrived. But the moment she left ... Well, let's say he got way too used to her presence. He knew how to clean and enjoyed it but he couldn't deny the fact it was nice to come back home and see that the cleaning was done. It was calming to him to see things clean.</p><p>When it came to cooking ... He was a mess, he never learned how to cook. His team would cook their own food, knowing very well that the Captain was horrible at cooking.</p><p>That left him to cook his own meals ... very bad meals.</p><p>And it wasn't only that. Washing clothes, organizing the food storage, waking up the team so they didn't go late to training.</p><p>And just her presence overall, it did light up the house. In the sense that she made it a more comfortable and happy place to live.</p><p>Levi knocks on the outside of the door, and as soon as he hears Erwin's voice, he goes in. It was strange to see him as a Commander but the title really fits him.</p><p>It was late afternoon, the twilight was already showing outside the windows. And although he wished to be anywhere but here, it was nice to see the mixing of colors of day and night through the window.</p><p>"Levi, I am glad you are here," Erwin looks around his desk as he finds the small box he was looking for. Levi walks closer to him, already expecting something bad to happen. "I finally got your seal stamp ... Congrats, you are an official Captain now."</p><p>Levi didn't know how to respond to this. Should he say thank you? Or should he just take it quietly? He decided to go for the second option and he took the small box in his hand. As he opened it, he noticed the famous wax seal stamp. It was small with a black wooden handle. However, the stamp itself was beautifully done. Shiny silver metal with his name engraved on it. Simple and elegant, he has to admit that he liked it very much.</p><p>"Well, that's all I have to say," Erwin says. "You can leave now."</p><p>This most be the first time that Levi didn't leave Erwin's office without some bad news. Now it felt strange to even leave this early.</p><p>"So, anything I send with this ... It will be official?" Levi asks, already knowing the answer but wanted to talk just a bit more.</p><p>"Yes, but be careful," Erwin says. "Don't be sending anything insensitive with it ... Whatever letters you send with your stamp, it may be used against you in court."</p><p>"I don't go planing and talking about murders in my letters, Erwin," Levi says sarcastically. "I may talk shit about people, however."</p><p>Erwin moves his head side to side, knowing very well that although Levi was a responsible man, his bad vocabulary was one of his faults.</p><p>Now it was a bit awkward but Levi was just in front of his desk. Looking around as if he wanted to ask something but was embarrassed or afraid to ask.</p><p>"Do you need help with anything else-"</p><p>"You used to write love letters for Nile, correct?" Levi asks.</p><p>Oh, Erwin knew what was going on.</p><p>"Correct," he says as he puts his pen down to pay full attention to the short man in front of him. "A very long time ago."</p><p>"Would you ... happen to give ... writing advice?"</p><p>Levi couldn't believe this was happening. He never thought he would be asking this of Erwin, much less himself wanting to write a love letter.</p><p>"... Just tell her how you feel in a nice way," Erwin ways.</p><p>"That's the problem ... I can't write nice," Levi says as he pulls out a piece of paper that was in his pocket. Erwin looks up at Levi as if he was asking for permission to take the paper. After a small moment, Erwin takes it and began to unfold the paper. He thought he was done being a matchmaker ... But that wasn't stopping any time soon.</p><p>He begins to read the letter and he has to admit that he had to blink a couple of times before realizing that what he was reading was real.</p><p>"I miss ... Playing under your skirt?" Erwin looks back to Levi with an <em>'are you serious?</em>' face. "I want to see you in a maid outfit? Levi, I've seen bad writing ... But this takes the cake and I've read Mike's writing."</p><p>"I want to write to her but as you see ... I am terrible at expressing properly," Levi rolls his eyes. He tried so hard to write something romantic for Maria and that was the end result.</p><p>"Normally, I would say to just be yourself ... But this time, I shall defer," Erwin looks around his desk once again, and he took some white paper and he offers Levi his pen. "Maria may love you a lot, but I don't think she will after she reads this letter... Now, just write the way you want her to feel while reading your letter ... I guess this is a good opportunity to use your seal stamp for the first time."</p><p>Levi took a sit on the chair as he took the pen off Erwin's hand. He looks at the Commander before looking down at the paper. "Thank you, Erwin."</p><p>This was the first time he has heard Levi say such a thing. It was strange and it wasn't even a thing in their friendship. But he has to admit that it was nice to be appreciated.</p><p>"No problem," he says. "Now tell me ... How do you feel about her?"</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>"Alright, but who in the right mind uses <em>'I miss your soft skin in the morning as I embrace you in my arms' </em>and <em>'I want to see you in a maid outfit'</em> in the same paragraph?"</p><p>Hange looks up to Maria, who had asked for her help to read the letter Levi sent her. She understood must of the letter but there were some words she didn't know how to read.</p><p>"I think Levi got help writing the letter," Maria says a bit awkwardly. "There are some things I can tell Levi wrote it ... and other things, I don't know who did."</p><p>"Well, who could have thought that our Captain had a maid kink?" Hange says but then thought that it actually made sense. "He says he wants to see you clean the house in a maid outfit multiples times ... Creep."</p><p>It was late at night when Maria had unexpectedly got a letter from Levi. Every day the Survey Corps mailman delivers letters in between houses to keep good communication between the soldiers and the Survey Corps' main facility. It wasn't strange to receive a letter ... It was strange to receive one from Levi.</p><p>"<em>Your lips are soft, like the touch of a petal flower </em>... Alright, I am sure Erwin wrote this sentence," Hange reads out loud for Maria to hear. The start of the sentence didn't sound bad and she continues, "<em>Next time we meet, please use them to suck my-"</em></p><p>Hange froze for a second, even she was getting embarrassed at how straight forward he could be. "And I am sure this sentence Levi wrote it ... Do you want me to continue ... I don't mind it just sounds a bit too personal?"</p><p>Maria lets out a small laugh. Yes, it was embarrassing but in part, she was used for other people to read her letters. She looks down at the wooden dining table, she had a lot in mind but the atmosphere was calming. Hange and her were drinking tea while sitting at the dining table. Just the two of them enjoying the evening while everyone else were sleeping.</p><p>"Lisa used to read me the letters Nicholas used send me," Maria says as she looks up Hange. "Although they weren't as explicit ... I don't really mind."</p><p>"Ah, I miss Lisa. In her last letter, she said she will be back soon," Hange says as she looks up to the ceiling, thinking about her blond friend. "Well, let's try and finish this hell of a letter."</p><p>"<em>Whenever I am with you, I feel so lucky to be by your side ... So, please do me the honor of staying with me for a long time</em>," Hange says as she keeps reading the letter on her hands, already expecting something worse. "<em>And once we have time to make love again, let me fill you up completely with my-"</em></p><p>"..."</p><p>"..."</p><p>"... This is the word you didn't know how to read, correct?" Hange asks, her voice monotone and traumatized.</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"Semen," Hange says. "Levi says he wants to fill you up completely with his semen."</p><p>"... Alright, let's stop there," Maria didn't know just what the heck was Levi thinking. Although she was always happy to know that Levi found her desirable, sometimes it could be too overwhelming. "I am sorry you had to read that."</p><p>"It's alright, it's normal its just ..." Hange took a sip of tea as she tried to calm down her feelings. "It just ... How in the hell is Levi so popular with the ladies? Honestly, if you were to break up with him because of this letter, I wouldn't blame you."</p><p>"Levi is great at expressing his physical needs but he really has a hard time expressing emotions," Maria looks at the candle in front of her, moving slowly with the wind. "I know he is trying but sometimes I do feel like he only wants me for sex."</p><p>"Are you kidding? Look at this horrendous letter!" Hange shows Maria the paper as if she hasn't seen it before. "He is completely head over heels for you!"</p><p>"Uh?"</p><p>"Look, Maria, I've known Levi for a little more than a year and I've seen him with multiple women," Hange says. "But believe me when I tell you ... I've never seen Levi try so hard before."</p><p>"It's just like you said, Levi is not one to express his feelings. Instead, he expresses them through his actions," Hange lets out an awkward smile as she looks at the brunette. "I guess for him, having sex with you is one of the few ways he can clearly tell you how he feels."</p><p>"Yes, its a bit straightforward but look at this letter ... Can you imagine him going into Erwin's office and asking him for help to write a letter? He even used his official stamp," Hange says. "I think he is also aware that he is not the best at conveying feelings and that's why he sent you this ... To try and make you feel better."</p><p>Maria feels at awe at Hange's words. She was right and she felt stupid for even thinking that Levi did not have such romantic feelings for her. He was trying his best, to tell her whatever he feels for her.</p><p>"I am a bad girlfriend aren't?" Maria asks more to herself than to Hange. "I've been so focused on my feelings lately, that I've forgotten that Levi is trying very hard ... He misses me, right? He is worried about me and wants me to go back home soon."</p><p>"I don't think you are bad," Hange smiles. She holds Maria's hand, trying to comfort her. "I think you both are just learning each other's love language. You both started dating recently, so it's normal not to know it at the beginning ... Give it some time and you both will be fine."</p><p>"Thank you Hange, you really give the best advice," Maria felt comfort at her words. The time she had gotten to know her, Hange was definitely a person worth trusting and Maria couldn't help but feel more admiration for her as time passed by. "You must have a lot of experience dating."</p><p>"Not really, and besides, I don't think any boy would look at me like that-"</p><p>"Don't say that," Maria says. "I don't think you notice but everyone else does ... Moblit likes you and a lot."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>"Thank you for taking care of our child, we have been looking for him everywhere," the teary mother says as she looks at Maria with grateful eyes.</p><p>"Thank you for finding my parents Ms.Maria," the little kid hugs her kindly before going back to his family. It was always sad to see them go but it was also heartwarming watching children reunite with their families.</p><p>The brunette waves as a goodbye as she watches the family walk away. The mother and father holding their little one's hand as they walk into the distance.</p><p>She didn't know why but the scene was nostalgic and even a sense of deja vu filled her body.</p><p>Walking through the corridors of the Trost District refugee facility, things didn't seem to be getting any better. Everyone was worried about how they will be surviving this winter and although plans have already been made to try and control the amount of food spent in refugees, it was almost sure ... That most people will starve this winter.</p><p>Maria was walking back to see her kids, not really hers but she still loved them dearly.</p><p>"Ms. Maria, I got this week's supplies, where would you like for me to place them?" A Survey Corps soldier says as he had his hands full with large boxes.</p><p>"Can you put them in the storage room with the other supplies?" Maria asks kindly. "Just make sure to lock it with the key so nobody can get it."</p><p>"Of course,"</p><p>She watches the young man walk away, it felt weird to give orders but it could be something she could get used to. Being a supervisor for this program had changed her life. In the way that she found new feelings. It was a bit depressing, seeing all the pain the children have been through but it was also a rewarding feeling when they finally meet their families again.</p><p>"Maria?"</p><p>A female voice interrupted her thoughts and as she immediately turns around, she smiles.</p><p>"Lisa?"</p><p>The brunette runs to hug her blond friend, its been weeks since she last saw her. Although they kept communication through letters, it wasn't the same as seeing her in person.</p><p>"You are finally here!" Maria says as she hugs her friend dearly and Lisa hugs her back.</p><p>"I know! I've been through so many refugee facilities! Thankfully, me and some other house attendants made it safely after the titans breached the wall," Lisa pulls away a little, as she wanted to appreciate her friend's face.</p><p>"Carriages are being so scarce, we only have two to use," Maria let out a heavy sigh in relief. "But tomorrow you will be going back to the dorms! Everyone on Hange's squad misses you!"</p><p>"I miss them so much too! I-" suddenly, Lisa stops talking and she places a hand on her head. She stumbles on her steps and Maria holds her to stop her from falling to the ground.</p><p>"Lisa, are you alright? Let me take you to the infirmary-"</p><p>"No, it's fine!" Lisa says as she tries to stand up back again. "I am just pregnant, that's all."</p><p>"No, we still need to-" Maria blinks a couple of times, still holding into Lisa. "Wait ... What?"</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>It was starting to get colder in the afternoons and the thought that she should start sewing some blankets for the kids came to her mind.<br/>     Maria somehow still managed to get Lisa to the infirmary. Lisa sat on the bed while Maria sat on the chair next to her. So many questions ran through her head, but she didn't know if she should ask.</p><p>It was a very soft scene, the widows of the room were open, letting inside a breeze of cold wind. The sunlight passing by and illuminating the room. Lisa's blond hair moved with the wind as her brown eyes shone as she looks down at her tummy.</p><p>"The father is a Survey Corps soldier ... I met him when he helped carry some buckets of water back to the house," she says out of nowhere, knowing that Maria wanted answers. "He was nice and we decided to do it ... It was a couple of times and well ... this is the result."</p><p>"Where is he? He should take responsibility-"</p><p>"I don't know, I haven't heard from him since the day of the expedition ... Maybe he died, I don't know," Lisa was calm and Maria didn't know what to feel for her. She didn't seem to be in pain nor having any internal turmoils. "I know what you are going to say, I should have taken better care of myself-"</p><p>"You could've used a small sponge with vinegar," Maria says. "Or take a bath after, there are other ways!"</p><p>"I know! But Maria, it's alright ... I want to have the baby," Lisa says as this time she looks at the brunette. "I don't care if I don't marry ... I want to have a family, just my baby and I ... It's fine."</p><p>Maria stays quiet, she was surprised almost even in shock and she couldn't believe it. One of her closest friend was having a baby.</p><p>"The only thing that worries me is being unable to work ... If that happens and the Commander finds out, I'll probably be sold or sent to work in the farms," Lisa says but Maria was fast to speak up.</p><p>"No, don't worry about it!" Maria says quickly. "So many things have happened! Erwin Smith became the new Commander and he is giving us our freedom in six months!"</p><p>"Wait, what?"</p><p>"Many things have happened," Maria says, this time she was the one to look at the floor. A bit of embarrassment in her face as she felt her cheeks get hotter by the second. Flashbacks on Levi came to her mind and she knew that it was time to explain to her friend the things that she missed these last weeks.</p><p>"A lot happened,"</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Maria came back the next morning along with Lisa. She helped her get adjusted back to the dorms. Everyone was happy to see her. Hange, Moblit, Nicholas, Nifa, and Rashad, all of them hugged the blond and pregnant women before going off to their daily training.</p><p>After leaving the two house attendants alone, Maria offered to stay and help her do her daily duties. However, Lisa denied saying that even though she was pregnant, she was still capable of doing her duties. She was a couple of weeks pregnant after all.</p><p>Maria was hesitant to leave but Lisa insisted a lot, saying that she had already left unattended her home for too long. <br/>In the end, Maria accepted as long as Lisa would send her letters every day and they agreed to meet at least once a week.</p><p>But before leaving Hange's squad place, Maria decided to use their kitchen one last time. The house attendant decided to make lunch for a certain Captain shorty. <br/>It has been a couple of days since they talked and Maria knew she was being distant. She is just been having a little bit of difficulty getting rid of negative thoughts ... thoughts of that night.</p><p>But to make up for it, she decided to make Levi lunch and drop it off during lunch break. Taking advantage that Hange's house was really close to the Survey Corps training grounds and she just could walk there.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>The large trees in the forest made it the perfect place for 3D maneuver training. The fake wood titans were placed and ready to be slain. Small deers will pass by from time to time and the heavy sounds will make some birds fly out of the forest.</p><p>Levi and everyone else was at the Survey Corps training grounds. At this time they were practicing with their 3D maneuvers, the fake titans made out of wood were not as intimidating but for now, that's the best they could do.</p><p>Humanity's strongest soldier was there as an instructor because of course, nobody could tell him how to do his technique better. It's not like he was arrogant about his abilities but to everyone's knowledge, they knew that his strength was valuable to humanity. <br/>    But as he was about to show a demonstration and kill the fake titan, something caught his interest. He turns around as he hears male voices, way too happy and preppy ... unusual.</p><p>"Oh, Captain Levi is right over there!"</p><p>"You brought him food? Damn, I wish someone would do that for me!"</p><p>"Captain Levi sure is lucky to have you!"</p><p>Levi walks over to the group of trainees. Sometimes he tends to forget that not everyone at the Survey Corps were veterans. Some soldiers came out straight out of the soldier program, they probably didn't have squad leaders yet. And it wasn't like Levi had much experience either, some of the soldiers have been longer on the Regiment than him and they were young as well. They must reside at the communal Survey Corps dorms.</p><p>Meaning that they haven't seen a young lady in a while.</p><p>It wasn't that he wasn't happy to see Maria, he was more than happy to and was excited to talk to her. What bothers him was the fact that maybe she enjoying the male attention too much. <br/>   Young soldiers surrounded her as they walk around her, talking and trying to make a conversation with her.</p><p>It was as if he didn't exist for a moment, he really was getting annoyed but he didn't want to overreact. But now that he thinks about it, these were young men around her age. Between 20 and 25 and he was 28 ... Soon to be 29. He just couldn't help it but feel the tiniest of old.</p><p>"Have you ever used a 3D maneuver gear?" One of the soldiers asked as he follows Maria pretty close.</p><p>"No, I am a bit scared of heights," Maria responded as a smile decorated her face at how silly these boys were acting around her.</p><p>"Oh, it's not that bad! Look, I'll go kill that titan for you!"</p><p>And he did, using his 3D maneuver gear the young soldier went off to show his skills. Doing some turns and flashy movements. Maria knew nothing about the 3D maneuver but she knew it was hard and even considered a type of art.</p><p>Levi watched Maria being all excited and fascinated about the young soldier's movements. He wasn't half bad ... But he could do so much better.</p><p>Maria kept her eyes on the young soldier as he was to deliver the final blow on the fake titan's neck. But suddenly, someone beats him to it. With a speed more defined and his movements strong and without hesitation.</p><p>It was as if everything went in slow motion and for a second he could see Maria, astonished with her mouth open as he shows off his amazing skills.</p><p><em>"Keep watching me Maria ... Only me," </em>Levi thought as he gave a look to another fake moving titan. If he already started with this, why not give the full show? Using his 3D maneuver gear, he changed in directions as he used the tall trees around him to get to his next target. Using more moves than necessary to show off his skills, he did perfect cuts on the wooden titans' neck. And as fast as in three minutes, he already had slain the neck of five fake titans</p><p>And his blue eyes adverted to look back at the brunette's reaction, he saw nothing. Why? Because she was too focused on attending the ankle of the young soldier who wanted to show off his skills earlier.</p><p>Levi comes back to the ground, close enough so Maria could notice his presence. The young soldiers who surrounded her focused their attention to him and slowly moved away from the brunette as they say that the Captain wasn't in the best of moods.</p><p>"What is wrong with you, Cadet?" Levi looks down at the young soldier who Maria was tending, her hand softly massaging the soldier's right ankle.</p><p>"He stepped wrong when you crossed his way!" Maria says still looking at the young soldier's ankle. "Please be careful, next time."</p><p>Levi bents down and looks at the cadet. Maybe he should have been more careful. Levi wanted to show off his skills to impress Maria but he didn't want to intentionally injure a soldier.</p><p>"Can you stand up?" Levi says as the young soldier nods, Levi was then fast to place the soldier's arm around his shoulders. Helping him stand up, he whispers something really quick on the soldier's ear.</p><p><em>"Don't make me look bad in front of my girlfriend, please," </em>the soldier heard and was surprised to hear such words from the Captain.</p><p>"I am alright, Captain! I can take it from here!" another soldier says and he takes Levi's place, giving support to the injured soldier. "I'll take Alex to the infirmary if that's alright."</p><p>"Permission granted," Levi says and gives the rest of the young soldiers his attention. "Everyone else, go change the wooden titan's neck for the next group to use."</p><p>"Yes, sir!"</p><p>And at that, all the soldiers followed instructions. Leaving Maria and Levi by themselves. She stood up from the grass as she was still holding into a small box. <br/>   It was a few seconds in which Maria didn't know how to start the conversation. She then remembers the reason why she was here as she looks down at her hands.</p><p>"I came by to bring you lunch," Maria says as she extends her hands, holding the lunch box in front of Levi. "I hope you like it-"</p><p>"I already ate," maybe he was a bit too fast to answer and rude too. It was the truth but seeing her disappointed face made Levi feel guilty. "You can eat it, I don't want it."</p><p>He must be really stupid because no matter how much he tried to solve the problem he couldn't. Levi wanted her to know that it was better for her to eat it because he was full already and didn't want the food to go to waste.</p><p>"I mean, I am not going to eat it so-"</p><p>"I get it, it's alright," Maria says as she takes back her lunch box. "Sorry to bother you right now ... You must be busy, I'll take my leave now."</p><p>"Wait, no, Mari-"</p><p>"Yo, Maria!"</p><p>A voice interrupted the couple as they both turn around to look at the group of people waving at them. It was Hange's squad and another man Maria didn't know.</p><p>"What brings you here? I thought you will be back at Levi's place by this time," Hange asks as she looks over at Levi who stood behind the brunette.</p><p>"I took the liberty to use your kitchen and bring Levi lunch," Maria says. "But Levi didn't want it and I already ate earlier with Lisa ... Do you want it?"</p><p><em>"Lisa? Is Hange's house attendant back? Does that mean Maria can come back to our home?" </em>Levi thought as he watched the two interact, not very pleased either with their actions.</p><p>"Mmm, I already ate ... What about you Mike, have you eaten?" the scientist turns to face the man named Mike. And his eyes averted to Maria and he looks down at the box she was holding.</p><p>"I haven't actually," he responds. "I am Mike Zacharias by the way, nice to meet you."</p><p>"Nice to meet you, I am Maria," the brunette said as she bowed. While she was at that, she greets the rest of Hange's squad who she had taken a liking to. Nicholas of course, stood close to her, Nifa, Rashad, and Moblit.</p><p>There was a small moment of silence as they waited for Mike to do his weird initiation on the brunette.</p><p>"Oh, but please take this," Maria had to place her hands up, showing Mike the lunch box. He was incredibly tall, even more than Nicholas and that intimidated the brunette especially because he was staring at her intensely.</p><p>As he was about to take the box, Mike took the moment to start smelling the woman in front of him. Going around her and looking up and down at her. Hange and her squad were trying to contain the laughter as they watch that Maria was beyond scared.</p><p>And then Mike goes straight into her neck, taking a good sniff.</p><p>"Eeek!"</p><p>"Alright, that's enough," Levi immediately pushes Mike away and stares at him with anger in his eyes, even challenging him. He then turns to face Maria, a little bit less angry but certainly annoyed. He takes the lunch box off her hands in a fast manner, surprising the brunette. "And I'll be taking this!"</p><p>"But you said you didn't want it-"</p><p>"I changed my mind!" Levi says as he holds the lunch box in a protective manner.</p><p>"Maria, you smell," Mike interrupted the moment.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>Everyone in Hange's squad lets a laugh as they get closer to Maria. She was embarrassed as she could feel her cheeks getting hotter by the second.</p><p>"Mike has a habit of smelling people to see if they are good," Nifa interrupts from afar. "But don't let that fool you, he is actually one of our strongest soldiers."</p><p>"Oh really?" Maria turns to look at Mike who had a thinking expression. "What do I smell like?"</p><p>"Don't ask him that!" Levi mutters quickly as his voice raised at the brunette's question.</p><p>"You smell nice, like lavender," Mike says. "And you smell like the Captain too."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Maria knew that after what Mike told everyone, she won't be going out for a couple of days, no weeks. It was late at night and she was happy to have settled back to Levi's squad house. She missed her storage room, the small but comfortable space although she noticed that the storage section was more organized. Maria assumed that it must have been Levi as he is a clean freak. She had a little bit more of space and she made a mental note to thank him for that later.</p><p>After taking a bath, Maria changed into her pajamas. In all honesty, she could have sewed a new pair of pajamas. However, she really liked Levi's old comfortable clothes and kept wearing them. It didn't seem to bother Levi either, so all the better for her.</p><p>Maria sat in her room's desk, a small mirror in front of her. She was about to start brushing her brown hair when she heard three knocks coming from her door. She turns to face the entrance and saw Levi enter her room and close the door behind him.</p><p>"We need to talk," Levi says, his voice was monotone and so serious that it concerned the brunette. <br/>   Maria puts her brush down as she looks up to Levi as she sat on her desk's chair. "Is there something wrong?"</p><p>"First of all, I want to tell you that I am not mad," Levi says as he gets closer to her. "And second, I want to comfort you by saying that I'll take care of you and our baby."</p><p>"... What?"</p><p>"I've seen it, your mood swings, you being distant, the reason why you don't want to have sex with me," Levi lets out a sigh as he places a hand on his forehead. He looks away as he tried to hide his embarrassment. "I talked with Hange and she came up with the conclusion that you might be-"</p><p>"You talk to Hange about our relationship?"</p><p>"... I sometimes need advice," the short man was this time looking at the floor, so many things running through his head. Just today at training, he was talking to Hange and somehow the conversation turned about the brunette. Along the way, Levi just started talking about her and her strange behavior. Hange only concluded certain things and Levi was easily influenced. "But that's not the issue here ... I just want you to know that I'll take care of you both. Once you get your freedom we could rent a small house on-"</p><p>"Levi, I am sorry to tell you this but ... I am not pregnant," Maria reaches out her hand as she intertwined her fingers with Levi's. "Actually ... I am menstruating ... I didn't want to tell you because it's embarrassing for me."</p><p>Humanity's strongest soldier lets out a heavy sigh. He even felt like the need to take a small break after the hell he went through today. Constantly thinking about Maria being pregnant, but good thing the future wasn't on his to-do list today. He didn't want to admit it but he was already thinking about where they would live, if he should ask for a raise and to look for someone to help Maria while she was pregnant.</p><p>But all of that shatters and he was glad to not have to deal with that now.</p><p>"Also, I am sorry I have been distant and have not initiated any type of contact with you ... You must have been worried, right? I should have communicated better with you," Maria smiles as to bring some type of comfort to Levi. "But I have something in mind to make up for it."</p><p>Levi arches an eyebrow, he didn't know what she had in mind but whatever it was he will take it. "What is it?"</p><p>"I read your letter," Maria says, this time she looks down as she didn't want to see his strong blue eyes on her. "What you want to do ... I want to do it too."</p><p>"Really?" His voice sounded too excited and Levi wanted to slap himself for letting her see that uncool side of him. "All of it?"</p><p>"Yes," Maria responded. "But, before doing that ... I also want to go on a date with you."</p><p>This was a win-win situation for Levi. Going on a date was something he has been wanting to do with Maria for a while now. And he even felt bad for not asking her first. Nevermind, he felt terrible for not asking her first.</p><p>"I am a terrible boyfriend, aren't I?"</p><p>"What? No-"</p><p>"Look, let me make this clear," Levi gets closer to Maria. He lets go of her hand so he could place them alongside the chair's arms, making Maria unable to move. "I don't want to have a date with you because I'll get sex out of it ... I want to go on a date with you because I like to spend time with you."</p><p>He was really close to her face that he could see his own reflection on her brown eyes. He took a moment to appreciate them and how beautiful they shone against the candlelight.</p><p>"Whenever you want to spend time with me ... just let me know ... and I'll try to be verbal with you as well," Levi knew he was terrible at expressing himself with words. He was having a hard time but he was trying his best to be more open. And now that they were having an intimate moment Levi decided to open up a little more.</p><p>"Also ... Can I ... brush your hair?"</p><p>Maria could never know just for how long Levi has been wanting to ask that. It was a strange question and very random but Maria could tell, by the shining in his blue eyes, that he really was trying.</p><p>And that's all that matters to her.</p><p>"Of course, just be delicate," Maria grabs her brush and hands it over to Levi who accepted it. He was fast to walk behind her but was hesitant at first. However, he became confident as he looks at the mirror in front of him, Maria reassured him with a small smile.</p><p>He gently began to brush her brown long hair, something that he really enjoyed about her appearance and has even dreamt about.</p><p>A few seconds passed and Maria was enjoying how delicately Levi would run his fingers through her hair. A random thought came into her mind and she started once again a small conversation.</p><p>" ... If we have babies together, I bet they will be really cute," Maria says.</p><p>"Yes, as long as they look like you," Levi was focused on brushing her hair and strangely enough he didn't feel uncomfortable talking about babies and family matters with the brunette. It almost felt natural.</p><p>"I know it's really soon to talk about children ... But, if we stay together for a long time ... Would you mind having children with me?"</p><p>Levi was surprised by the wording of her sentence. He was aware that Maria wanted children at some point in her life and wanted to be part of a family. And it wasn't that Levi didn't want to have a family either, it was more that he never consider it. He never really thought of it since having a family of his own was something impossible for him. And her words, it was almost as if she asked a favor out of him.</p><p>"Sure, if you are willing to spend the rest of your life with someone as uncharismatic and humorless like me," Levi kept stroking her hair delicately, not knowing that he could enjoy brushing her hair this much. "I wouldn't mind having children ... As long you are the mother."</p><p>"First of all, you can have your funny moments ... Watching you in the morning trying to reach a cabinet is always funny to me."</p><p>"Don't push it,"</p><p>Maria lets out a giggle, blessing Levi's ears. If she could laugh at stupid things like this, then they will have a long relationship ... Which Levi wouldn't mind.</p><p>They kept talking a few hours not knowing that it was getting late. Some moments were quiet and others weren't, but it never felt awkward nor forced. They could enjoy each other's presence without having to talk.</p><p>Levi couldn't believe just how small moments like this could make him this happy.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Their date was going alright ... everything was going smoothly. Levi got too excited about buying Maria a maid outfit but it wasn't any alarming. They talked a lot and Maria had to admit that having a date with Levi was nerve wrecking. It has been a long time since she had a date of the romantic spectrum and it seems like Levi didn't know much about it either. The house attendant took into notice that Levi was always well dressed. Nice pants and suit whenever he went out, and she even has to admit that Levi had a better sense of fashion than her. But today, she thought it was a bit too much. She loved seeing him in suits but seeing that their date was going to be in the afternoon, she thought that something casual would be better. Levi wore his navy blue suit, but she felt a little bit under-dressed for the occasion. He looked so good and she ... well ... She didn't feel the same but still went along with it.</p><p>And everything was fine. In the beginning, they weren't holding hands or anything like that, they just stood close each to each other. It wasn't until Levi felt the eyes of the male population in Maria that he decided that it was alright for her to hold into his arm.</p><p>They walked into the streets of the town, trying to see if there was a small restaurant where they could have dinner. Maria would have preferred a small picnic as she didn't want Levi to waste any money but he insisted a lot.</p><p>And as they almost reached their destination, Levi noticed something within a dark a valley. A young woman was about to be attacked by an unknown figure and Levi was fast to take action. Leaving Maria behind, Levi tackled down the person. The unknown individual was all covered in black and wearing a black mountain climbing mask. All of their face and head covered but their eyes.</p><p>Levi thought that would be the end of it, but not. They wanted to fight.</p><p>That brings Maria to the current situation she is. Healing Levi's wounds as he sat on a chair, their date ruined. Not like she cared too much for that aspect as the only thing that matter to her was his safety.</p><p>"I've never fought someone like that before," Levi says. Remembering the scene, he couldn't believe that there was a person who could match his skills. "I don't know who that was but they were trained ... they must be the person behind the murders that are going around lately."</p><p>"I've never seen you fight like that," Maria lightly touches the wounded areas on his back with a wet towel to remove the blood. "I always saw you as the strongest person out there ... It made me so worried when the person threw you to the ground."</p><p>"I am confident in my skills, maybe a bit too confident. I didn't think the person was going to be as skilled as me," Levi says feeling a little bit of pain as Maria cleans his wounds. "I underestimated them ... It was my mistake, it won't happen again."</p><p>"<em>It's so strange ... Why are the murders happening in broad daylight?"</em></p><p>Levi felt somewhat guilty because he knew Maria was looking forward to the date and it got ruined. He was alright, well kinda. His back did hurt and his right leg too but it wasn't something he couldn't stand. He could have gone on with the date with few inconveniences but Maria wanted to come back home. She was worried about him and he didn't know if he should feel guilty for canceling the date or making her worry. Or both.</p><p>"I am sorry about the date," Levi says. "If I had been more careful-"</p><p>"We can have another date, another time," Maria walks in front of him and bends down on her knees, trying to make eye contact with him. "I just got really worried ... That's all ... Just please ... be careful."</p><p>He noticed that her eyes trembled in fear. Before, he wouldn't have cared about jumping into action and danger but now that he had Maria in his life, he started to value his life more.</p><p>"I will, and I know this is going to sound possessive of me but," Levi leans back and rested on the chair's spindle. "I don't want you going into town so often ... If you do, please bring someone with you ... at least until we capture the criminal."</p><p>Maria nods, it wasn't a positive thing to ask. She knew that Levi worries about her as well. It was just his wording that made him sound controlling but knowing Levi and the way he speaks, she shouldn't be too surprised.</p><p>Seeing that Levi was more relaxed, she decided to take off the blood from the wounds of his chest and abdomen. With the bucket of water next to her, she wets the fabric in hand and squeezes the excess of water. Maria stands up again and this time she leans in a little closer to his body. Concentrating on delicately cleaning  the wounds, Maria took a short moment to appreciate the defined lines of his muscles.</p><p>Levi knew that Maria was staring too long at his body and he didn't mind. Not one bit. Actually, he was also looking at something very interesting. The house attendant didn't know but as she leaned closer to him, the fabric that covered her chest area became loose. He only took a small peek at her breast, her brassier stopped him from appreciating them fully but he takes what he could.</p><p>"Good thing that the maid outfit came out intact," Levi teases, all type of embarrassment between them gone. "It's early, on the weekend ... If anyone comes it will be until Monday."</p><p>"If we do it, I could hurt you-"</p><p>"That's what I want," Levi says. "I want you to hurt me."</p><p>There was a silence in between them in which they gaze at each other's eyes. At that, Levi could tell that Maria felt the slightest of discomfort. </p><p>"Unless you don't want to, that's fine too," he says. "I won't force you to do anything you don't want to do."</p><p>"It's not that I don't want to ... I am just a bit scared," Maria moves away slowly, still focusing on his wounds. However, she was still a bit embarrassed about his words. "Sometimes I feel like you are too ... Passionate ... I am afraid I won't be able to keep up or that I won't satisfy you ... I don't have much experience with those things."</p><p>"Me either," Levi says bluntly as he enjoyed her soft touches on his chest. "Yes, I've fucked a lot of women before but I never got to be comfortable or this intimate with them ... I've never expressed my sexual wants like this to anyone."</p><p>"I want to do many things with you ... Experience first things with you," in all honesty Levi felt strange. He had an internal battle within himself. To an extent, he felt awful because for him, Maria was something pure that shouldn't be corrupted with his perverted wants. But another part wanted to please her and know all of her wants, to please all the dark desires she may have in her heart.</p><p>"I also want to see all sides of you ... Submissive or dominant," he continues as he sees that the brunette began to lower her hands to attend his wounds on the abdominal area. "I want to pleasure you, and to do that I need to know what you enjoy as well."</p><p>Maria steps away slowly, trying to process his words. She looks at him, a certain sincerity in his eyes. He meant good and she wanted to do it too. To discover her wants and desires alongside with him. But she couldn't deny that she was also a bit scared.</p><p>"Sometimes I feel that ... Our relationship is based on sex ... and I don't want that," Maria was looking down at Levi, although his body was covered in wounds, she found it attractive. It was complicated for her words to come out when Levi was shirtless.</p><p>"I know you are trying really hard ... I love you and I Iove sleeping with you but I also love being with you as a person ... I just want you to know that."</p><p>Levi was starting to feel afraid at the idea that he was scaring her. But he was indelicate and it was hard for him not to do so otherwise. Most of the time, he always thought that using euphemisms was stupid that at the end of the day as long as the message was clear, they don't matter. But now he regretted not having a better vocabulary, not because he cares for them but he cares for Maria. In the sense that she deserves someone who doesn't make her feel like a whore whenever they speak.</p><p>"Maria, I think you know that it's hard for me ... to know and express how I feel ... The only way I can show you how I feel is with my actions," Levi stands up as he notices that Maria turns around as to not look at him. The small candlelight that illuminated the room was in front of them. "I know sex can be seen as vulgar and honestly I thought of it like that too but ... After making love with you, I realized that it's not."</p><p>Maria felt Levi behind her, his chest pressed against her back. He places his hands on her shoulders as a way to comfort her.</p><p>"It's beautiful and it holds a lot of meaning when you do it with a person you care for," he whispers on her ear, it wasn't sexual but more of the intimate side. Of the one that normal couples had. Just them comfortable with each other's body.</p><p>"I am still learning how to express myself. I want to learn other ways in which I can show you what I feel for you. But for now, the best way to tell you how I feel ... It's with making love. I want  to know you and see all sides of you. I want to be intimate with you in ways you haven't been with anyone else before."</p><p>Maybe a part of his possessive side was talking too. But he tried to keep those thoughts away. He wanted, no he believed in himself ... that it wasn't his possessive side speaking. It was him, his mind and soul telling that he was doing this for her and himself.</p><p>"It's not just about making you mine, you making me yours ... It's about getting to know each other in our most vulnerable state," Levi also knew that he was touch and emotionally deprived. He never had a connection with anyone like this before. And he just craved for more. To forget about his insecurities and just let himself go.</p><p>"Maybe it's just psychological, maybe it's me wanting to have someone take control because I am tired of having to make decisions I hate."</p><p>Maria slowly turns around, this time her back was facing the desk, and the candlelight. Levi was close to her, very close. Although she didn't mind the contact, she had to admit that it still made her feel the tiniest of nervousness.</p><p>"Maybe, it's just that I am completely bewitched by you and I can't find anything more satisfying than being by your side, at your feet,"</p><p>And it was things like this, at how sincere and powerful his words were. Levi wasn't one of words but when he said something, he really meant it. And she could feel them, the emotions his words have.</p><p>"Whatever you want to do, whenever you want, however you want ... I'll do it,' he gives her a chaste kiss, surprising the brunette but she loved the act. "I am yours."</p><p>She looks down to the floor for a quick second before looking at his blue eyes again. They were soft, there were a few times in which she would see him like this.</p><p>" ... I want to do it ... But I won't hurt you ... I won't slap you nor choke you ... not even if it pleasures you," Maria says hoping that Levi won't be disappointed. "I just can't do anything like that ... I am not comfortable with it and I just don't want to do anything that hurts you ... I am sorry."</p><p>Levi was more than happy to hear that she was comfortable enough with him to speak about the things she didn't want to do.</p><p>"Don't say sorry, I am ok with that," Levi says. "Actually, it makes me glad to know that you won't inflict any type of pain to me ... It's comforting."</p><p>He was talking about feelings and Maria knew that. She was also happy to see that Levi was finally starting to realize that she won't hurt him in any type of way.</p><p>They kissed carelessly and freely as they knew that no one was in the house to interrupt them. The sound of heavy kisses and lips clashing as moans escaped their lips. Clothes being pulled off as Maria tries something new to please the Captain, a few laughs exchanged when she wore the maid outfit awkwardly. However, Levi enjoyed it extremely. It was awkward, it was funny and pleasurable. Maria thought it was going to different, in a more serious aspect and she was scared because of her inexperience. But it wasn't like that at all, Levi never made her feel indecisive and he could be serious when the tension of the moment needed it.</p><p>They were both inexperienced in the field and at their own awkwardness, they just decided to laugh it off. All forms of embarrassment gone as they tried to discovered their sexual wants. Levi discovered his submissive side, which he completely enjoyed. He found it extremely pleasurable and attractive when Maria would focus on her needs instead of his, giving him more waves of pleasure. How his dominant side was thrown out the window as he begged her to let him finish. It was something Levi could only enjoy because it was Maria doing the lovemaking, the hair-pulling, the teasing touches.</p><p>Maria enjoyed it too, taking control. Although she was unexperienced in that field, Levi never made her feel less and took her with all seriousness. She saw how much he enjoyed it and how much she loved it, to be the one to bring the Captain to such a vulnerable state. His voice as it cracked with uncontrollable moans, the soft begging that started to come out of his lips and his complete state of pleasure. His eyes shaking as he releases himself in her mouth. She enjoyed seeing his face just as much as he enjoyed seeing his work of art. The white fluids decorating her mouth and face as if they always belonged there.</p><p>After their moment of ecstasy was done, they both smiled and giggled a bit. Not believing that they were capable of doing such things but they still enjoyed it deeply. Not even thinking that it could get better than this. But they knew that as long as they were together it was always good. Always pleasant and filled with emotions.</p><p>Levi cleaned her properly and they were fast to cuddle away as their bodies landed together due to exhaustion. Their hearts content and their bodies are satisfied. Hugging each other, Levi caressed the brunette's hair, knowing damn well that he would do anything to protect every single string of her hair.</p><p>And as he watched her sleep in his arms, he knew that he was damned. That there was no turning back away now. That whatever Maria does, he will follow her like a lost puppy. Knowing that if tomorrow she asks him to jump up a building he will do it without hesitation.</p><p class="">And like that, six months passed.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Six months passed and somethings changed. Erwin has warned Levi to be careful about going to town, not because of the murders itself but because in town people were saying that the murder looks very much like him. And to avoid any misunderstanding, it was better for him to always be accompanied as well from now. They still weren't able to capture the criminal and it was starting to cause panic around the walls. The murder was now attacking family members of all military sections. Garrison, Military Police, and Survey Corps soldier's family members were at risk and this just caused more panic and tension in between the government.</p><p>Besides that, things were going pretty smoothly. Levi had gone with Elise inside Wall Sina to visit the man Maria was going to marry soon. The brunette didn't want to meet him and Levi also didn't like the idea of Maria going out of town so often, especially if they are seen together. They had already attacked him before and the possibilities of Maria getting harmed were hight too.</p><p>Alon Ackerman was just an old man ready to retired. Probably around his late fifties. It wasn't like he was out of shape or anything like that. According to Elise, Mr. Ackerman was still very agile but after losing his wife and children in an accident recently, he preferred to start living a simple life with the money he will get from marrying Maria. Levi couldn't blame him and after talking to him for a while and seeing that he was just a very sad man wanting to spend the last years of his life alone, he knew he was the perfect candidate for his brunette.</p><p>With getting Levi's approval of the man she was going to marry, Maria was relieved and the marriage processes started. It took a long time, a lot of paperwork, meeting and talking to people, creating the perfect lies, money, and finally, everything was approved. Now it was just a matter of receiving the document, so Maria could finally be free.</p><p>Alon is supposed to get the document any day now and he will give it to Elise who will give it to Maria. The house attendant was also surprised to see the change of heart of Elise. She had proven to be trustworthy through these past months, she was nice to Maria and gave her advice. Acting like a big sister to her and to Levi like a friend. And they both had to admit that they trust her wholeheartedly now. Also that Maria was happy to see that Nicholas had taken a certain interest in the beautiful woman.</p><p>A new name and new life, Maria Ackerman was the happiest she could be. Her relationship with Levi was going great. In the beginning, Levi would not initiate any type of affection, and even now when they were in public they wouldn't show much affection. It was once in a while, in which Maria would place her hand on his arm. On special occasions, they would hold hands. But most of the time they would only stand close to each other. Maria didn't mind at all, because as soon as they were alone things would change. She enjoyed how intimate and safe the relationship had become. They had begun to learn each other's love language and they both would try their best to understand each other. They could have their serious and funny moments, like when they both went to visit the grave of Maria's brother. Or when Levi tried cutting off Maria's hair bangs and they came out crooked. They would have their small fights too, like Levi getting angry at Maria because <em>'she wasn't eating enough'</em> and Maria getting angry at Levi because he wouldn't sleep with socks on, knowing that he will get cold if he continues like that. Their fights were never about winning but about reaching a mutual agreement.</p><p>Their intimacy was great too, on and off the bed. Of course, they would never have sex when there was someone in the house. However, Levi's squad had found them kissing in the kitchen from time to time.</p><p>Levi's squad had also noticed a change in the atmosphere of their house. It was nice, comfortable, and loving. Petra would always let out a smile as she watched the squad's morning scene. It reminded her of her home, nobody could deny the significant change in Captain Levi. He was active, more talkative, eating more ... He just seemed happy. And that alone made their day.</p><p>Even everyone noticed, including Erwin Smith. Of course, he knew it since the beginning. The moment he heard Levi almost killed someone because he was protecting a woman, he just knew that the Captain had taken an interest in her. Why? Because beating up an already unconscious man was something Levi wouldn't do. He doesn't simply loose his cool like that and he knows he is strong enough to knock out anyone with one punch.</p><p>Even before when Levi would say he wasn't interested, he would always talk about her unconsciously in the strangest way possible.</p><p>
  <em>"Maria makes the best tea,"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Maria is great at her job, she has helped so many kids already,"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"These idiots can't even run 5 miles, if it wasn't because Maria told me to be softer on them, I would have made them run 10!"</em>
</p><p>Erwin even began to wonder to what extent and how strong did his feelings for her go. Because it was normal, for a relationship to be like this at the beginning. Levi was in a better place and he just wished for his friend to stay as happy as this. He was just a bit scared that the Captain was inexperienced and might now know that relationships are not always flower and sunshine.</p><p>But his doubts did not last long as in their recent meeting, Levi seemed focused on writing notes. It was a monthly meeting the Survey Corps would have. The Commander, advisors of the Commander, second in command, and the Captain most attend. They weren't talking about anything important, it was just a monthly report. So, it was to Erwin's surprise when Levi started taking notes like crazy.</p><p>As Levi stepped away for a second, Erwin decided to take a look at his notes. If Levi was writing notes, then maybe he missed something important. But as he opened the notebook ... He saw drawings of Maria. Not bad drawing ... Well, Levi wasn't the most talented in that aspect.</p><p>Maria in the kitchen, reading, sewing, and Erwin couldn't help but feel a bit creeped out.</p><p>"Would you mind minding your own business?" Levi says as he caught Erwin redhanded.</p><p>"I know you like Maria very much but ... Don't you think this is a bit much?" Erwin says as he takes a look at the drawings, the pencil technique wasn't bad. But the anatomy seems a off.</p><p>"I know it looks a bit too much but Maria's birthday is coming up," Levi says as he gets closer to the Commander. "This is a memory book .. of the moments we've been together ... She likes those kinda things."</p><p>"Since when did you know how to draw?" Erwin flips through the pages of the notebook, not realizing that Levi was getting the tiniest of annoyed.</p><p>"I didn't know, I learned recently ... Well, I am trying to, since my writing sucks," Levi says. "That's why I am in a hurry, I need to fill up each page before her birthday arrives-"</p><p>"Wait," Erwin interrupts him as he looks at his eyes. "You are learning how to draw ... Just so you could make her this?"</p><p>"Yes," he responded.</p><p>Levi didn't know just how much his actions meant. Erwin on the other hand understood right there and then that Levi loved the brunette very much. To take the time to learn something new, to have the dedication and passion to try something unknown ... Just to make someone else happy.</p><p>"You love her to the point of creation, isn't it?" Erwin lets out a sigh of relief as he gives back the notebook to Levi. He never thought he would see this side of him, a man who just seemed to be incapable of showing any type of affection or love towards anyone.</p><p>But if he was completely honest, he likes to see this side of his friend. Before he would see him as what he was <em>'Humanity's strongest soldier'</em>, a weapon and a soldier ... Today, he sees him for the man he is. Levi really was just like any other man, who had feelings and made mistakes. And that made his character become vulnerable and be human. Levi was just a man in love, a feeling so natural that just made Levi feel like he was part of this world.</p><p>And Levi was starting to know that too. He didn't when exactly when but he was starting to be aware of his feelings. Finally, after a long time ... He could be sure of himself, of what he wanted to be and what he felt. Levi won't admit it out loud, at least not now. Just a little bit longer, he will keep this secret just a little bit longer.</p><p>Unknowingly, Levi lets out a small smile form on his face as he takes back his notebook, thinking about Maria. His Maria.</p><p>"Yeah, I guess I am,"</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>It wasn't strange for Elise to come by from time to time to visit Levi and Maria in their home. After all, six months passed and the beautiful woman had gained the trust of everyone. With the small things she has done, it was amazing and how much a person could change in a small amount of time.</p><p>It was late at night and Elise wanted to talk to Maria about something private and the brunette accepted. They were walking with no direction, just walking through the infinite miles of grass in front of them as the wind moves their hairs and dance through the green grass. The sound of crickets and other nocturnal insects were heard in the silence. It was cold and Maria mentally wished she had brought a jacket.</p><p>"I wanted to talk to you privately because Alon finally got your marriage certificate," Elise says, her voice was normal. It showed no change in personality and it surprised the brunette to an extent. "Congrats, you are free now."</p><p>Maria lets out a heavy sigh, after all the lies, all the paid witnesses, and the people she had to meet ... She was finally free. The house attendant couldn't help but feel happy at her words even when Elise didn't seem to feel the same.</p><p>"Thank you so much, Elise, I promise that I'll try my hardest to pay everything back to you," Maria says. She couldn't wait to have the paper in her hands. The new documentation that has her new last name, allowing her to stay above ground. "You are an amazing person and a friend, even though we had our differences before, I am really happy to have met you."</p><p>"You don't have to pay me anything as I said before ... I only the want the best for Levi," her voice became a little more fragile as she looks away. "I'll give you your new documents ... But first ..."</p><p>And suddenly small giggles could be heard coming from Elise, Maria couldn't help but feel the tiniest of scared of her at the moment.</p><p>"Let me tell you about something I planned more than six months ago ..."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Levi didn't know why it felt different but it did. He will see her go like this from time to time and after six months of officially being together, it just felt natural to have to say goodbye for the day. She had her job to attend to at the refugee's facilities as more children were left without a home due to the military's horrible plan of sending off civilians to fight their own battle against the titans.</p><p>But he didn't know why it just felt different, she was probably just stressed and worried about the kids. Levi tried to not think too much about it but since she came back from talking to Elise yesterday she has acted strangely.</p><p>Now here he was, saying goodbye to her as she was about to get into the carriage, the prairie schooner. Levi knew Maria's mannerisms, the way her eyes lost their shine that not even the sunlight reflecting on them could bring back. The small movements in her body, the way she smiles sadly. Levi knew Maria was hiding something and he was afraid to ask what it was.</p><p>"How long will you be gone?" Levi asks as he holds into her hands tightly as if his body moved on its own, as if he wanted to follow to her.</p><p>"Just a couple of days, the children need me ... It's starting to get colder too so I want to make sure they have everything they need to survive this winter.," her voice was cold and gentle. Levi knew that he must be exaggerating, that his intrusive thoughts were just getting the best of him at the moment.</p><p>"Very well, then don't forget to write to me," Levi's voice was that more of an unconscious begging, asking her for everything that is sacred that she writes to him.</p><p>"I will, I'll be back," Maria says as she hops into the carriage with a suitcase in hand. Maybe that's what bothers Levi so much, the thought ... the slightest of thought of her leaving him.</p><p>"You promise?" he asks as waited for an answer. Seconds passed in which the silence was killing him.</p><p>"I need to go already-"</p><p>"Maria," Levi grabs her wrist, wondering just what did he do to receive such a cold shoulder this morning. He knew he shouldn't exaggerate ... but it was as if his soul and body were telling him that she was leaving him. "I know I am not the best partner nor the funniest to be around but ... but just give me a little bit more time ... I'll even try to be like him-"</p><p>"Don't say that I don't need any of that Levi," Maria was lost of words. She knew it was going to be painful ... but this was just killing her. Did he know? Did he feel what she was about to do? "You don't need to be anybody else, I love you just how you are ... I'll be back soon, alright? I promise."</p><p>She lied.</p><p>But her words were all the comfort Levi needed. He knew that Maria would never lie to him. That she couldn't even think of breaking his heart, the one he gave her. Maybe this time he should say it, the words he has been wanting to say for quite some time now. Three words, one sentence. But no, he decided to wait for her to come back, to make it special. She was going to come back, after all, she promised him.</p><p>Given her a small kiss as a goodbye, Levi watched the carriage depart. Never thinking that was going to be his last kiss with her.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>It was driving him crazy. It's a week and he didn't know anything about the brunette. Today he went to the refugee facility just to find out that Maria had never arrived. Since the day she left, she never went to the facility. No one saw her, not even the children.</p><p>Levi walked rapidly through the Survey' Corps building, throwing daggers with his eyes. He didn't ask for permission as he almost kicked open Erwin's office door. The Commander didn't seem angry at his act as he watched humanity's strongest soldier close the door behind him.</p><p>"I think you know why I am here," Levi says as he walks towards the Commander's desk. He sat behind his brown desk, his face showed no emotion and that already perturbed Levi as it was. "Maria, she is missing. I have no clue where she-"</p><p>"She quit," Erwin says. His voice was strong, showing no signs that he was lying. "I received a letter from her this morning, Maria told me that since she received her freedom ... That she decides to quit the Survey Corps."</p><p>Levi blinked a little and looked around the room. It seems like he didn't understand. A for a moment he didn't believe Erwin's words.</p><p>"This is the letter," Erwin hands out the piece of paper in which Levi didn't hesitate to take it.</p><p>Levi began to read, there was no doubt that this was her handwriting. Hell, he was the one who taught her and saw her progress through the months. Levi could recognize her handwriting immediately and he didn't know how to feel at seeing her written letters. The vocabulary that fitted her so well. The letters sightly tilted just how she likes to write. There was no doubt that Maria wrote this letter.</p><p>But he still didn't believe it.</p><p>"I am sorry, Levi," Erwins says as Levi looks up. He hated it, how his bright blue eyes showed pity. Was he implying that Maria had left him? That's why he said sorry?</p><p>"Well, maybe she quit but what? She has the right to do whatever she wants," Levi defended her, as he threw the letter back to Erwin. "Maybe something happened, what if they attacked her or something-"</p><p>'"I received this letter today ... She must have sent it yesterday" Erwin didn't know what to say, nor what words would be the best to comfort him. He still couldn't believe it either, that Maria had left Levi just like that.</p><p>"No, I know her ... She wouldn't leave just like that," Levi says as he walks around the room, trying to keep his cool. "We've talked about it before, if we ever stopped having feelings for each other ... We would talk about it, not just leave ... She can't, she wouldn't."</p><p>And Erwin couldn't say anything. He just gazes at him, this must be the first time he sees Levi like this. He just seems so lost, like a child who lost their mother at the market. Confused as if he had read a difficult book and hurt as if someone had stabbed him in the heart.</p><p>"I know, I know she will come back ... I am going tomorrow again to the refugee facility and if I don't find her there, I'll ask around the other house attendants if they have heard about her-"</p><p>Erwin sighed, he hated to be the one to deliver bad news.</p><p>"Levi ... You need to open up the possibility that she left ... It will hurt less-" the Commander tried to advise him but Levi wasn't willing to listen.</p><p>"No, I trust her and she trusts me," he told Erwin but it sounded more like he was telling himself. Trying to convince himself, that there must be a reason why. "She will come back here to me ... because she promised me."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>He had the slightest of hope to find her in her room once he came back home.</p><p>But it wasn't like that.</p><p>He went inside her room and it was empty and for a moment he thought that it had even become smaller. Levi denied it, he believed her and trusted her. These last couple of months, he had realized and learned many things. His feelings that he had finally realized and was wanting to tell her for the longest time but he was timid in that sense. And now he regretted not having the courage before.</p><p>Her room was clean, he made sure to clean it every day. To leave tulips on her desk, just so she could have something pretty to look at when she comes back. Levi looks around, hoping that if he looks hard enough she will eventually appear, as stupid as that sounds. He knew better than to invade her privacy but his thoughts were killing him. His mind was going crazy at the thought that she might be in danger.</p><p>It has been a week and he wonders... Why? If Maria had the time to send Erwin a letter ... Why couldn't she write to him? Didn't she know just how worried he is?</p><p>Levi begins to look around her desk at the small cabinets, he opens them and closes them until he finds a small box inside one of them. A carton rectangular box. He delicately takes it into his hands, he didn't think too much about it and tries opening it. However, he found it difficult. The lid wouldn't come off and as he applied more force, he ripped off the box in half. At that moment, a bunch of letters dispersed through the desk. All of them in different paper colors, shapes, and sizes but something was always the same.</p><p>They were all for Maria. Written with a handwriting he didn't know but the redhead appeared in his mind.</p><p>Another letter was different too.</p><p>A letter that looks new and with Maria's handwriting, his name was in the front.</p><p>
  <em>"To Levi"</em>
</p><p>His hands trembled as his heart began to race. He delicately opens the letter, a bit afraid that he might rip it off if he is careless. While he opening it, he moves back towards Maria's bed where he took a seat. Scared, timid and his heart begged for him to open the letter and end the anguish he was living.</p><p>And so he did.</p><p>
  <em>     You might wonder why didn't I tell you earlier and that's because I just couldn't see your face. I didn't want to see the moment I break your heart. You might think of me as a coward, but I honestly don't care anymore. Now, that I am free, I have decided to start new with Nicholas. These last couple of months have been great but I realized that you and I are not meant to be. I am sorry I couldn't say this to your face and I am sorry I couldn't keep my promise. I wish for you to hate me and pretend like I never existed. You and I have different feelings towards each other and I am sure you are aware of that. I I loved you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But now, the only thing I can hope for is that you look for happiness somewhere else just like I have.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>There was never a good reason for me to stay anyways.</em>
</p><p>What was this feeling again? It had been such a long time since he felt it.</p><p>It embraces him, like a mother hugging her child. In a desperate need to feel her child in her arms once again, not letting go. His heart feels heavy and at the same time non-existent. Trembling hands and heavy breathing, his whole body began to sweat. It was one of his panic attacks again, he hated them. Because every time it happened, he would end up hurt. But as he began to scratch his hands till the point of bleeding, he felt hopeful. Because Levi knew Maria will come through that door to comfort him. She always does, she is always there. And he just couldn't wait to be embraced by her arms, her lavender smell filling his nostrils as he begins to feel better. He wished that this panic attack could go on forever if it meant that she will come back.</p><p>But the longer his hands bleed, the longer he would pull his hair and his hands trembled ... He didn't know what it was. Was this a panic attack or was he dying? A slow painful death, one that he wouldn't have mind as long as the last thing he sees is Maria.</p><p>But now, her memoir hurts him. The memory of her smile, the way she would wake up next to him, and love him. Really love him</p><p>How? How could she leave? Didn't she know just how much he would miss her? Her small snoring that comforted him at nights, the little notes of encouragement she would leave inside his lunch box. The random <em>'I love you's'</em> whenever he did the stupidest of things. Maybe he should start sleeping without his socks on, that way Maria could come and get angry at him for not wearing them. Anything to make her comeback.</p><p>
  <em>There was never a good reason for me to stay anyways.</em>
</p><p>Levi always had things in his mind, unstoppable chaos wherever he went, and his crazy thoughts that never lets him have a moment of quiet nor peace.</p><p>But when he is with Maria, the world stops for a second. Giving Levi the peace he thought he didn't deserve.</p><p>Everyone dislikes how much of a clean freak he is, but Maria loved it saying that she felt safe that they were never getting sick because of germs in the house.</p><p>He kissed her every day and multiple times with the hope that he was doing it right and he began to wonder if Nicholas did the same. If he cared enough to try and kiss her multiple times just to make sure it was perfect.</p><p>Levi hated it when people didn't bathe regularly and always felt the need to wash his hands whenever he touched them. But with Maria, he didn't care. Maria would sometimes be tired and forget to bathe but even so, Levi didn't care holding her tightly at night.</p><p>And it was these small things that made him realize his true feelings for her. At the same time, he regretted not telling her. Because maybe if he had told her, things would have been different. Maybe she would still be here, giving him the comfort he needed so much.</p><p>These were all the reasons ... The reasons Maria should have stay and the words Levi couldn't say.</p><p>
  <em>"So, please promise me that you won't be afraid to experience love and I promise you that I won't be afraid of accepting love again."</em>
</p><p>And he had kept his promise. Unknowingly, unexpectedly and not knowing just why he remembers her words this moment.</p><p>
  <em>"Love me,"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Everyday as if it was my one last time,"</em>
</p><p>And his trembling stopped, his hands still bleeding from the scratching but he stopped from pulling his hair. He knew that from now on it was going to be hell. There was no way he could ever think of enjoying life again because Maria wasn't in his life anymore.</p><p>He couldn't help it, he tried to stop his voice but the words still came out. Like a whisper, like a lament begging to be heard by the woman who broke his heart. The words he was only able to tell her in sweet dreams, walking together into an unknown distance while they held hands as a form of affection.</p><p>And with that thought in mind, as the beautiful illusion played in his head, Levi finally told her. The words his heart were begging to say,</p><p>
  <em>'I love you.'</em>
</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N: This chapter was longer than I expected and honestly ... I CUT OFF SO MANY THINGS. I was going to show cute moments between Levi and Maria while the six months passed. Also other things with Lisa's baby, the date, the actions scenes, Levi meeting Alon (and I wanted to to write more explicit smut too lol, but hopefully for the next chapter.) But this chapter alone is 14K words. I apologize, this chapter is late (I am editing this while in college lol). Hopefully, for the next chapter, I can get it earlier ... Or not (lol). I don't know, I can't believe there are only 6 more chapters left. Six more weeks for this story to come to an end. I kinda want to enjoy the process of writing this a bit longer but a part of me also wants to finish this so I can start in other projects.</p><p>Anyways, please don't hate on Maria. She has a really good reason for leaving but that will be explained in future chapters. I hope you all have been reading in between the lines because, in the end, everything will make sense.</p><p>I hope you all enjoyed the angst, more is to come, yeee!</p><p>I won't way spoil much about the next chapter, but what I can say is that the title could be 'Levi's day' or something between those lines.</p><p>As always, comments of any type are encouraged! I love reading comments and they also help me improve a lot.</p><p>Thank you so much for reading One Last Time! I hope to see you it until the very end!</p><p>See you ... Next week.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Levi's Days</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>  Levi seems to be fine. He would wake up every morning at the same time, eat a little bit of white rice, and leave for training. It's been a month and no one dared to ask what had happened between him and Maria. Levi's squad knew that she had left and that although Levi pretended everything was fine ... He wasn't.</p><p>And they could tell by multiple things. On the weekends, Levi used to stay at home. But now he goes out and doesn't come back until the next day, late afternoon. One could only imagine the things he was doing. Second, wasn't trying to sleep anymore. Third, it seems like Levi was going back to his old ways of sleeping with multiple women.</p><p>It wasn't like he told everyone about his business but it was more like the women population at the Regiment were starting to spread rumors. Of course, it wasn't everyone. Some women were secretive but still, everyone knew about the Captain's deal. Now, Levi didn't care and just followed the flow.</p><p>His squad tried talking to him but it was futile. Levi was quick to shut down any conversation dealing with the brunette, no even wanting to hear her name.</p><p>And a month passed. </p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Hange was done with the situation. She didn't know the details but from what Nicholas told her, Maria was fine. Yes, Nicholas still is part of the Survey Corps and wasn't planning on quitting anytime soon. After a month of putting pressure on him, Nicholas finally told Hange that Maria and he wanted to start again a romantic relationship and that surprised the scientist. One because she couldn't believe it and second because it seems that she was the only one with a brain.</p><p>And for that same reason, Hange was on her way to talk to Levi. She looked around everywhere until she finally found him behind the horse's stables. And he wasn't alone, he was talking very intimately with Elise. Extremely close to each other.</p><p>"Am I interrupting?" Hange says sarcastically as puts her arms across her chest.</p><p>"Yeah but it's alright, I am leaving already since your face ruined the moment," Elise turns back to look at Levi as she winks at him. "I'll see you later."</p><p>Levi didn't say anything as he watched Elise walk away. Hange was trying very hard to not punch the beautiful woman right there and then. She waited until she made sure Elise was out of sight and then she walks towards Levi.</p><p>"So, you and Elise again?" Hange asks it was starting to get colder as she felt the afternoon wind touch her face. Levi seems uninterested and even bored at the situation.</p><p>"That's none of your business," he replies. Hange tried her hardest to understand what he was feeling but was finding it difficult.</p><p>"You know she's bad for you," she says. The scientist lets out a sigh as she tried to close the gap between them. But Levi seems to only focus on distancing himself. "I know you are hurting, but this is not healthy for you ... You said so before, you had an unhealthy coping mechanism and that led you to hurt the people around you."</p><p>"I don't really care anymore," he says. "So if you don't have anything interesting to say, I'll take my leave."</p><p>Hange hated it when he was like this. She had forgotten had stubborn he used to be until Maria came along and changed that aspect about him. He still used to be stubborn back then but at least he was willing to listen.</p><p>"Look I talked with Nicholas about Maria and he told me-"</p><p>"I don't want to know, I don't want to know whatever the fuck happens to them," Levi snaps and for a moment, Hange saw it in his eyes. The anger and pain. "I'll appreciate it if you don't talk about them in front of me."</p><p>Just like Levi, Hange was getting desperate. Apart of her wanted to slap him in hopes that the act would smack some sense into him.</p><p>"Are you really going to give up that easily? Don't you think all of this is strange?" Hange raised her voice a little, she really didn't care if anyone heard them. They were behind the stables and the possibility of someone hearing them was slim. "Maria loves you! If she wanted to be with Nicholas, don't you think she would have married him instead of that random man Elise hook her up with?"</p><p>"Elise says that Maria did it to get the farm the old man has. After he dies, the farm and house will go to her," Levi says as he tried to prove Hange wrong to try and finish the conversation. "Elise told me that Maria confessed to her that the day before she left."</p><p>"And since when do you believe in Elise?"</p><p>"Unlike the tavern dancer, Elise has only looked out for my happiness and has stayed with me always," Levi turns around, his back facing Hange. He didn't want to see her, nor talk to her at the moment but here he was. "Unlike the other one who just fucking left me a letter."</p><p>"Fine, let's say that she did leave you ... But at least you should look for her and try to have a closure of the relationship so that way you can move on," Hange moves closer to him as she places a hand on his shoulder. "I can help you, I'll-"</p><p>But at her contact, Levi snaps. He turns around as he slaps away her hand. At first, he tried to control his anger but now he didn't care.</p><p>"I don't fucking need your help!" Levi yells and for the slightest of the moment, he thought that his voice might crack. "I need you to leave me the fuck alone!"</p><p>"No, Levi, I am your friend!" the scientist tries to get closet to him, seeing that he was at his limit. "I can't stand looking at you like this! Have you looked at yourself in the mirror? Your hair is a mess, you are sleep deprived, and every so often I see bruises on your face."</p><p>Levi fucking hated it. He hated everything. He hated how everyone thought they knew about the way he was feeling. But hey had no clue, not a fucking clue.</p><p>"Don't you think I know that?! I know what the fuck I am doing! I am not in pain, I am not depressed, I don't cry, I am fucking fine!" His voice was so loud that the horses at the stable were even startled as they began to move uncontrollably. "I don't need your pity because I am completely fine!"</p><p>Hange knew that she might be pushing his emotions to the limit but she was scared that if Levi kept the way he was going, he will eventually end up at rock bottom.</p><p>"Yeah because being fine means sleeping with random women and telling them you love them on the second date!" she screams back at him and Levi was taken back a little. "You are scared! Afraid that you won't ever be able to have an emotional connection like you had with her. You regret not being able to tell Maria that you love her!"</p><p>"I never loved her!" Levi screams again. "And what do you even know about love? It's not like you ever had any experience in dating. After all, no man would ever look at your way twice!"</p><p>It went silent. The strong wind was the only thing that could be heard. Levi couldn't see Hange's facial expression. Her hair covering her eyes and for the smallest of moment, Levi felt regret.</p><p>"Hange, I didn't mean to-"</p><p>"You know, Maria may have left but I did learn somethings from her," Hange interrupts him. Looking down at the grass underneath her brown boots "My value doesn't depend on how many men find me attractive nor how many of them I have dated ... I give myself my own value and I define my own beauty."</p><p>Hange smiles a little, remembering the words of her friend. She looks up to Levi with a sad smile. Mixed emotions ran through her body. She wanted to help Levi, but what good was it if he didn't want to be helped?</p><p>"She taught me so many things, she made me believe in myself and for that, she will always have a special place in my heart," Hange says as Levi stood quiet. Her words struck him like lightning. "I learned something from our friendship but you? What did you learn from your relationship with her?"</p><p>There were a few times in which Levi was left speechless. Because that was a power only <em>she</em> had over him. The other times were when people were telling the truth and he didn't want to listen ... just like right now.</p><p>"It's not your words that hurt me," she continues. "What hurts me is that you were the one who said them."</p><p>Hange lets out a small giggle out of nervousness. She had a good friendship with Levi, there were times in which they rarely fought ... and this must be the first time in which their friendship was being tested.</p><p>"You are still the same old insecure man who is afraid to get attached to people," Hange was still hurt. Hurt for his words and actions, for not showing any development on his persona. For thinking that they trusted each other. But Levi couldn't, he couldn't trust her with his feelings and that's what hurts her the most.</p><p>"You haven't changed one bit, no wonder why Maria left you."</p><p>He wanted to scream at her, his body filled with anger as his eyes trembled in desperation. Just how dare she? This wasn't his fault, it was hers and completely hers. That fucking tavern dancer who played with his feelings.</p><p>But as Levi watched her walk away, he couldn't help but wonder that maybe Hange was right.</p><p>Maybe Maria left him because he wasn't enough.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>It was early morning, his feet were cold and he knew he will be getting sick any day now. Not like he really cared, he was feeling like shit anyways. He couldn't help but look at himself in the mirror, bruises, scars, wounds all over his body and face, all due to the sex from last night. It wasn't like it was pleasurable because it wasn't. He thought he would like pain, even as a form to release himself. Levi just wanted to feel something else, anything but the pain in his heart. Physical pain was better, a short distraction of his emotional pain. To feel anything, even for a small second ... To forget her.</p><p>The women he was sleeping with weren't turning him down either. He would ask them to inflict pain in him as a form of pleasure, and they wouldn't comply. Slapping, punching, degrading .... At first, he thought he would be one to enjoy it. But it wasn't like that. He just wanted to feel any pain, but the hell he was living.</p><p>And as he looks at himself in the mirror of the hotel room, as he takes off his shirt to look at his bruised body .... He couldn't help it but feel pathetic. He felt used, like a piece of trash, empty and he knew that no amount of sex would ever replace the emotional connection he had with her.</p><p>But what else was there to do for him?</p><p>Levi should have known better, he shouldn't have gotten so attached. Fallen ridiculously in love with her.</p><p>Before, he would make love with someone who wouldn't even dare to think about hurting him not even in the sexual perspective. Now? He was dating women who wanted nothing but hurt him. To see him hurt. To dominate Captain Levi, to spit on him and degrade his persona just to satisfy their arrogance.</p><p>His reflection began to distort as it transformed into what he believed he was. A dead person looking for a way to feel alive.</p><p>It took one punch to destroy the mirror into pieces, leaving his knuckles red with his hot blood. That was better, this is the pain he wanted to feel, but it wasn't enough, he needed more. More pain, more suffering, just like he had felt before.</p><p>But he had forgotten ... For a short moment in his life, he had forgotten just what pain was. Ever since Levi met her ...</p><p>He went down to the floor to pick up one of the broken pieces of the mirror, grabbing it so strongly that it made a deep cut in his palm. Maybe, just maybe ... If he hurts himself enough he will eventually stop feeling anything. Or feel something different than his emotional pain.</p><p>He grabs the piece with force as his hand trembles, pressing the tip of it against his skin. He just needed to make a cut ... One single cut to start feeling the physical pain he wanted to feel.</p><p>Was it wrong? Yes.</p><p>Is this unhealthy? Yes.</p><p>Did have unattended psychological problems? Yes.</p><p>Shouldn't he have gotten so attached to her? Absolutely.</p><p>But what can he do? What can he do when his mind was telling him to do things he didn't want to do? His body moved on its own, he was done, exhausted, tired ... But he couldn't stop.</p><p>
  <em>"It's ok, just breath with me ... You can get through this."</em>
</p><p>He hated it ... just how much power she still had over him.</p><p>Levi drops the broken mirror, the piece softly bouncing on the floor making a sound as it moves.</p><p>"It's not like I don't care but I gotta go," a female voice interrupts Levi's moment. "I should leave the hotel first, I don't want to be seen leaving with you."</p><p>Levi gives a quick look at Leone, one of Erwin's advisors and close friend of Elise. The woman was already dressed, her long black hair was up in her usual ponytail, her blue eyes looking down at him.</p><p>"Yeah, I don't care," Levi replies as he looks back at his bleeding hand. He stands up as he walks towards the bucket of water in the bathroom.</p><p>Leone watched his moments, how he bent down to wash his hands with the water on the bucket. She sighs as she rolls her eyes, slowly walking towards him.</p><p>"Who would have thought that Captain Levi would be so ... vulnerable," Leone got closer to him as she bends down as well, next to him. She grabs his bleeding hand as she looks at it. "I have to admit that it's nice to see you being ... weak."</p><p>Levi quickly moves his hand away from her with an angry look on his face. Couldn't she just leave him alone? She already got what she wanted after all.</p><p>"Is that what women enjoy?" he says sarcastically as he places his hand inside the water, stinging a little.</p><p>"Yes, we like vulnerability in men," Leone smiles seductively. "The best part is when you are the one to break them ... It's pleasurable in all sense of the word ... Especially when the man is strong and stubborn like you ... So hard to break."</p><p>" ... Why?"</p><p>"I don't know, maybe is because it's the only thing we can control in society," Leone says. "Men in society treat women like trash, we might as well play with their feelings ... Their ego, their pride ... It's all fun."</p><p>Leone steals a kiss from Levi, it was fast and it even surprised the soldier. She blinks a couple of times, her bright blue eyes met his dark blue ones. Leone could tell that he is emotionally unstable and she was going to use that against him. </p><p>"You are so vulnerable, look at you ... You are like this because a woman left you."</p><p>Levi stood quiet, offended and he hated that it was the truth.</p><p>"You pretend like you are fine, but in the sheets, you totally act otherwise," she says. "You are emotionally wrecked, I am manipulating you into having sex with me and you know that."</p><p>"Maybe you just want emotional support, I can give you that too," she moves closer to him as to whisper in his ear. "Or maybe not ... you have to decide ... Maybe if we try enough, I can take out that whore at of your mind ... I can show you, that not all women are the same."</p><p>Leone slaps him in the face and after, she places both of her hands on his face as she forced another kiss onto his lips. Biting his lip till the point of bleeding and pulling his hair until the point of pain ... It wasn't something Levi enjoyed but accepted.</p><p>She licks her lips as she stands up, walking away from Levi.</p><p>"Ah, also, don't tell Elise about this, she will kill me if she finds out," she turns around as she looks down at him, a smile placed on her face. "I'll see you later, I love you."</p><p>Levi stood quiet for a few seconds before going back to look at the bucket of water, his hand still bleeding.</p><p>"Yeah, I love you too."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>
  <em>Maria's body began to tremble as Levi appreciated her quivering sex, she was wet, ready to be taken by him. He also couldn't wait to place his member inside of her and make her moan his name.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I am going inside, are you ready?" Levi asks as he was on top of her. This was their first time doing it, many things have happened tonight and he just wanted to make sure she was comfortable.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes ... please go slow," Maria says as she tries covering her face. This is the first time she was going to have sex in four years and although she wasn't a virgin, it's just being a long time. She hasn't been with any other man besides Nicholas.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She was a bit scared but she was ready to move on. She just didn't want to keep living her life  the way it was and let her demons control her present. This is something she wanted to do ... For the first time in a very long time, she has made a decision based on her desires.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He places his member in front of her intimacy, slowly he enters her. The tip of his member already inside of her. Levi hears Maria let out a small moan, and he looks up to her to see if that moan was out of pleasure or discomfort.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Are you alright?" he asks again. Maria nods, loving how Levi was always very delicate with her as he asks about her well being. Levi began to move inside her again as Maria lets out another moan, music to Levi's ears.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He wanted to see her face, her reaction as he takes completely over her. Before going inside her fully, Levi slowly removes her hand from her face as he intertwines his finger with hers as a form of resilience. He wanted her to know that he was there for her, physically and emotionally.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>As with one more push, his fully erected member was inside her. Maria arched her back a bit as she felt Levi's warm erection inside her. She felt it pulsating inside of her as her legs trembled due to the strange sensation going through her body.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Levi gets her other hand and places it on her lower abdomen, "I am right here ... Do you feel me?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria blushed instantly, she didn't know what Levi meant by his actions. She could only think that he was looking for approval.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes," she whispers as Levi gave her a few moments to adjust herself and get familiar with the feeling. "You are ... big."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He immediately flustered. He wasn't looking for a compliment, he just wanted to make sure Maria was comfortable at the moment. He has heard many times the compliment of women about his member's size but it was never like this.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She was trying her best to set a mood, to make him feel better, and compliment him. To make him know that she was fine being with him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You feel ... very nice too,"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That was no lie but more like an understatement. Levi felt her wet and warm insides around him. He honestly didn't know how he was controlling himself because all he wanted to do at the moment was to move front and back like crazy.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria blushed too, it was an awkward thing to say but it was strangely comforting. It's been a long time and she was scared that she might not be the best suited for him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Unconsciously, Levi begins to examine her body. Every centimeter of her soft skin, her breast that was fully exposed. They weren't small nor big. But Levi knew that if he wanted, he could completely cover one of them with his hand. Her body was that of a woman, curvy, and definitely not the type of body he was used to seeing. As her legs were bent, there were body rolls in her stomach. She wasn't slim nor considered heavy, she was a healthy 24-year-old woman, just at the peak of her youth. And her body just showed that.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Please, don't stare,"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Levi's thoughts were interrupted as the voice of the brunette caught his attention. He focused on her caramel eyes and her blushing face, something extremely satisfying to see for him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>'Why not? That's why I have the candle lights on, I want to see you," he responds.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I ... I don't like my body,"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You have a bunch of men after you, isn't that enough approval?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Men would fuck anything that moves," Maria looks away, a bit embarrassed. She was finally feeling more relaxed as her insides adjusted to Levi's member. "Besides ... It's not other men's approval I am looking for ... I want your approval."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You've been with many beautiful women, the women at the Survey Corps are very beautiful, all of them with nice bodies," Maria continues. "But me? Whenever I sit down I have body rolls, I don't have a thigh gap and I don't like the cheeks on my face ... I just ... I am just afraid that you won't find me pretty or that I won't be able to satisfy you-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Levi kisses her unexpectedly as he stops her from talking. A passionate, long kiss. His tongue completely overtaking hers, his lips smashing against hers, moving his face from side to side as to not skip any skin of her lips. He separates as he leaves her breathless, soft pats of air as she wanted more of him. A string of saliva connected their mouths but disappeared the moment Levi licked his lips, tasting the remaining of the flavor of her mouth. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You are beautiful and you have no idea ... Just how desirable you are to me," Levi whispers into her ear, as a shiver runs down her spine. He begins to stroke his member into her insides, softly and delicate, passionate.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Let me show you just how much I want you."</em>
</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>
  <em>Just why? ... Why am I remembering that right now?</em>
</p><p>"Are you alright?"</p><p>Her voice made him remember the situation he was in. Levi was undressing her, the buttons of her shirt were already half done.</p><p>Her pink brassiere was already showing, her skin was like glass as the candle lights shone against her skin. He looks up to see bright blue eyes and wavy blond hair, red lips, and pink cheeks. Astonishingly beautiful, Levi had never seen such beauty as the one Elise Dietrich possessed. But even so, it felt off.</p><p>"Are you sure you want to do this?" Levi asks. These last couple of months, Elise has shown him that she was a trustworthy friend, never leaving his side. "I don't want you to feel obliged just because we are friends."</p><p>"We used to do it all the time before ... besides I prefer for you to do it with me than with other women you don't know," Elise replies as she begins to unbutton Levi's white shirt. "That's what friends do, comfort each other in times like this."</p><p>Levi couldn't help but find similarities in her words with the ones the brunette used to say. It wasn't that he didn't notice, that Elise had taken certain characteristics of the brunette. But Levi thought that most have been because they used to be close friends too.</p><p>"I know you are still in love with me," Levi says as his shirt falls to the floor. "If we do this, I am scared to hurt your feelings because ... I still think about her."</p><p>"I'll do it, even if it hurts me," Elise says. "If it makes you happy, I'll do it ... anything for you."</p><p>For a short moment, Elise saw a small glimpse of life in Levi's eyes. It wasn't that she wasn't lying, she will we do anything for him. Anything to have him and she was happy that he was finally starting to see that.</p><p>She leans in to kiss him as Levi grabs her by the waist, their tongues dance and battle as it became more heated. Slow moans escalated as bite each other's lips.</p><p>But suddenly, Levi moves away.</p><p>"No, I can't ... I am sorry, I respect you too much as a friend to do that to you," Levi moves past her as he took a sit on her bed. They were at her squad's dorm and no one was at home.</p><p>Elise didn't want to resort to this, but she might as well use it while she had it. She lets out a sigh as she sits next to him, her shirt still exposing her chest. Next to her bed, Elise opens one of the cabinets of her drawer chest.</p><p>She takes out a small round container, around the size of her small hand palm.</p><p>"Here," Elise says. "Take a sniff of this and you will feel better."</p><p>"What's inside?"</p><p>"Opium," Elise responds as she takes Levi's hand and places the small blue container on his hand. "The best of its kind, it's one of my family's businesses."</p><p>"I don't think I should-"</p><p>"Don't you want to forget her? Her face, her voice?" Elise gets closer to his face, looking at his blue eyes. He looks so vulnerable, so easy to manipulate ... Good. "Even if it's just for a small moment? Don't you want to forget the pain?"</p><p>Elise watched him, how his hands trembled as he contemplated the idea. She tried really hard not to smile, but she was just happy to see that her plan had worked. He was devastated, completely in pain, and gone. Just like how she wanted him. An emotionally destroyed person is easy to manipulate, easy to control, and dominate. They couldn't listen to reason and they were gullible. This will teach Levi two things, one that she will never leave him and two that he should have loved her instead since the beginning.</p><p>"I'll try it," he says as he opens the small container, revealing a brown powder. "I just want to forget."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>"It's not like I don't enjoy your company but do you really think this is the best place to talk?"</p><p>If there was anything Erwin Smith was sure about is that Levi hated bars, taverns, and just any place that had a lot of people and loud sounds. It was not even possible for him to pay attention to his beer because Levi was hooking up with some girl in the seat next to him.</p><p>"Just relax a little, you were the one who wanted to talk to me," Levi had a brunette woman sitting on his lap, looking at her flirtatiously. The scene was even strange for Erwin, he knew that before Levi used to have his way with the ladies. But he had never seen him be so open about it.</p><p>"Do you really want to talk about this in front of the lady?"</p><p>Erwin gave Levi a defying look and they internally battle with their eyes but after a few seconds, Levi roll his eyes in annoyance. He gave the brunette woman a quick wink in which the girl only giggle and walked away as Levi followed her with his eyes before turning back to Erwin.</p><p>Sitting at a table at the <em>Queen's Tavern,</em> Erwin wasn't too found about these kinds of places and he knew that Levi wasn't either. If Erwin knew better, he knew that Levi was doing this on purpose, just to despise himself.</p><p>The loud live music, the cheap food, the candle lights that were about to die, and saloon girls that were walking around offering their service ... It really wasn't a place to talk.</p><p>"Your hair is long and greasy, your clothes are wrinkled and dirty, you stopped drinking tea a while ago, I am sure you stopped trying to sleep and you started smoking and you hate the smell," Erwin looks at Levi straight in his dark blue eyes, he always had a monotone face but this time he looks dead.</p><p>"I also started consuming opium," Levi says as he crosses his arms around his chest. "Anything else you want to add to the list? Or will you continue trying to stop me from fucking some whore?</p><p>"Do you want me to tell you this as your Commander or as your friend?" Erwin asks.</p><p>"I don't care,"</p><p>"As your Commander, I need to tell you that your personal matters are affecting your performance as Captain of the Survey Corps," Erwin says. "And as your friend, I need to tell you ... that I am sorry about what happened."</p><p>"Don't be, I am over it," Levi says as he takes a big gulp of beer.</p><p>"Levi, I don't think you understand what is happening," Erwin puts his beer aside as he never breaks eye contact. "You are too hurt to see it but at this rate, I am afraid you might hit rock bottom ... You are acting the same way when your friends passed away, it's not healthy."</p><p>"And what about it?" the Captain was annoyed, and recently he was more prone to act on the defensive. "I'll step it up on my job. As in my personal life, I know what I am doing. And you know what? I am tired of people telling me what I should or should not be doing."</p><p>"We are telling you because we care about you," Erwins says. "Don't the opinion of your friends matter? She may have left you but you still have friends you can rely on, I think you just need closure ... Don't you think talking to Maria would be good for you?"</p><p>"I don't need to talk to anyone, I don't need you, I don't need anyone," Levi tried hard not to raise his voice but he just hated it when people got into his business.  "I am doing this because I want to! Not because she left me, I could care less about what happens to her-"</p><p>"Do you boys need anything else?" One of the tavern dancers interrupted their conversation and to Levi's surprised he recognized the lady. It was Elena, Maria's friend and the woman Eld was currently dating.</p><p>"Oh, is that Captain Levi?" Elena squints her eyes a little as she tried to recognize the man's face. "It's been a while since I have seen you, Eld says you are not the type to visit taverns."</p><p>Elena turns around to greet Levi's company, not realizing the heavy mood around them. "Nice to meet you, I am Elena, I am an old friend of Maria."</p><p>"Nice to meet you, I am Erwin Smith," the Commander says. "I am Levi's ... friend."</p><p>"Oh yes, Maria has talked about you in her letters," Elena says as she smiles tenderly, she then turns her attention back to Levi. "I know I shouldn't get involved but ... Maria was just backstage with me and she just left ... If you want to talk to her ... Well, you may catch her if you leave now."'</p><p>The air became heavy and it was silent for a moment, Elena just decided to awkwardly leave the two men by themselves, hoping the Captain goes after her brunette friend.</p><p>A few more seconds passed in which Erwin only looks at Levi in the eyes, already knowing what to expect.</p><p>" ... If you want to leave-"</p><p>Erwin had never seen Levi run so fast. But he was glad he did, Erwin sighed as he took a sip of his beer. Maybe by tonight, things will be fixed ... Hopefully.</p><p>    Levi didn't know where exactly to go but he kept going for the sake it of. She shouldn't be too far gone, especially if she was walking. As he ran through the streets of the town, his heart began to race faster. There were very few lights, only a few outside candles and the moonlight over him. However, he didn't care, he kept running. As if his body moved by itself, not listening to what his prideful mind was telling him.</p><p>
  <em>Don't go, don't show any more weakness, don't let her know how much you miss her, don't let her know how you can't sleep at night because she is not next to you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Don't let her go ... Don't let her go.</em>
</p><p>He made a few turns as if he already knew where to go. As if he could smell her lavender fragrance from miles away. Maybe he could, he didn't know and he didn't have the time to think about that right now. Levi just wanted to know she was fine, he wanted to see her, to hold her because every second that it passed without holding her he thought he will go crazy.</p><p>And as if the goddess he didn't believe in had heard his prayers, he saw a figure in the distance. Brown long hair waving with the wind as the moonlight landed on the beautiful hair he missed so much. The flowing white dress that didn't cover her well, again it seems like she had forgotten her sweater because she trembled a little as the night got colder.</p><p>He couldn't see her face as her back was facing him, but he just knew it was her. Levi just knew every inch of her body, of her whole being. It was her, standing, ready to be embraced by him.</p><p>Levi wanted to yell her name but the words didn't come as some had beaten him to it.</p><p>"Yo, Maria!"</p><p>He stops running as he recognized the voice. A voice he hated so much, a voice he didn't know he could despise.</p><p>And even so, he didn't move as all the hatred he had built up stopped him from moving. As if he had reached a breaking point in which he couldn't escape.</p><p>"You forgot your coat, it's getting cold," Nicholas says as Levi watched him in the distance. Nicholas placed a black coat around Maria's shoulders. "Come on, let's get you home."</p><p>The brunette nodded as they began to walk away together, not knowing that a heartbroken man was watching them from afar.</p><p>They look so perfect, almost as if they belonged in a love story. Nicholas's height and nice physic compelled that of Maria's, who looked small compared to him.</p><p>And Levi began to wonder, his insecurities rising like crazy. What if he was just a little bit taller? More handsome? More charismatic? Would she have stayed?</p><p>Would he have been enough?</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Another week passed in which Levi wasn't doing any better, maybe the only thing that had improved was his relationship with Elise. Simply because they had made it 'formal' and why shouldn't they? Even if Levi didn't love her, it didn't matter. At least he knew that she wouldn't leave him, she never does.</p><p>And if she likes to hear it, Levi would say <em>'I love you'</em> to her as many times as she wanted.</p><p>Walking through the corridors of the training grounds of the Survey Corps, Levi felt like falling asleep at any second. Although it's not like he would be able to sleep even if wanted to.</p><p>Soldiers looked at him as he passed by, just for a small fraction of a second. They didn't even dare to greet him and he remembered a time when the young recruits will smile and say<em> "Good morning, cap."</em></p><p>Yeah, when she was still here.</p><p>It was cold, his breathing will create small clouds of heat. His jacket was heavy as to protect him from the cold, it was a late afternoon and there were still some people outside training.</p><p>"Are you leaving already?"</p><p>"Yeah, I am going to stay the weekend in town,"</p><p>Levi walked passed by another soldier and Nicholas. He pretended not to hear them, to not care. To not care ... To not care.</p><p>"Don't be shy, are you staying with a lady?"</p><p>"Yeah, I am," the redhead responded.</p><p>"You shouldn't leave her for too long ... What if she takes interest in another man?"</p><p>Levi hears Nicholas laugh as he responded,</p><p>"No, she wouldn't ... She loves me too much to ever do that to me,"</p><p>Nicholas didn't know who it was but he felt someone pick him up and throw him into the ground. He felt a strong impact on his back as dust spread through the air. The redhead couldn't react as he immediately felt a fist punching him straight in the face.</p><p>"You fucking bastard, it was all because of you!"</p><p>It was Captain Levi, who was on top of him giving deadly punches at his face. At first, he was surprised at his actions and that's why he didn't react but he was glad that he started it because he wasn't going down without a fight either.</p><p>"If you had never fucking appeared, she would still be with me!"</p><p>Nicholas pushes him off as he placed a strong punch on Levi's face. He didn't expect it to hurt that much, but even Levi knew that he was out of shape and that Nicholas must be doing better than ever. But did he care? No, he only cared about beating the shit out of him.</p><p>"I hate you! I fucking hate you! You shouldn't be the one living with her! That should be me! That should be fucking me!"</p><p>Nicholas grabs Levi by his shirt's collar and punches him repeatedly on the face. Both of them in the ground, it was a dirty fight. The soldiers in the training ground began to surround them, not knowing what to do in the situation. It wasn't even smart fighting, they were just fighting to release all the anger inside of them. </p><p>"You want to be me?! Then fucking be! I don't want my life! You don't know what it is like!" Nicholas is still holding into Levi's collar, his voice cracking as his hands bleed. "You don't know what it is like to have the person you love, secretly hate you! She won't admit it out loud, and maybe it's just me ... But how can't she hate me? How can't she hate me after what I did to her?"</p><p>At his words and emotions, Levi was almost dumbfounded. He listened to each of his words and watched his dark blue eyes trembled as if he was about to break.</p><p>"You don't know what it is like to hurt the person you love the most," his hands trembled as tears threatened to escape his eyes. "I tried so hard ... and I still fucked it up again ... If it wasn't because of me she wouldn't be in this situation ... She wouldn't be suffering ... I hurt her in the past ... and now too, I hurt her."</p><p>Levi's mind went crazy, mostly because he didn't know what Nicholas was talking about. He went wild, his mind thinking of all the things he could mean. Did he hurt her? Just how and why? Didn't he love her? Why would he do that?</p><p>Just how dared he? Just what kind of thing did he do to her?</p><p>Using his full force, Levi pushes Nicholas off him. This time, he didn't care about the blood coming out of his knuckles. He could have ended the fight right away but not. He wanted Nicholas to suffer and feel the pain he was feeling at the moment.</p><p>"Just what the fuck did you do to her?!" Levi screamed at him as he placed one more punch at his face. But Nicholas wasn't responding, he stood quiet. At the moment, he preferred to be punched. The redhead felt like he deserved it, every punch and hit that his face and body received.</p><p>"Tell me what the fuck did you to her, you fucking bastard!"</p><p>"Enough!"</p><p>And as he was about to punch Nicholas' face again, someone interrupted the fighting. Anyone else wouldn't have dared to stop him, at least not the current soldiers on the training ground.</p><p>Commander Erwin Smith looked down on both men on the ground. Dirty soil in all of their uniforms and blood covered their faces.</p><p>"Someone take Flaherty to the infirmary," Erwin says as his blue eyes met Nichola's. "I'll talk to you later."</p><p>His blue eyes then adverted towards Levi's angry eyes. He was furious, his long black hair almost completely covered his eyes. But most of all, he looks lost, and tragically he didn't want to be found.</p><p>"Captain Levi, you come with me to my office. This instant." </p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Levi was still bleeding from his nose when he entered Erwin's office. He tried cleaning it with his shirt's sleeve but still, some blood remained across his face. His hair was messy, all over the place and he even had a purple eye. It was quiet as he stood in front of Erwin's desk, the commander looking at him with angry eyes. Snow began to fall behind him as the window showed it clearly. Cloudy, cold, and hurt ... Great.</p><p>"Are you going to let us help you now?" Erwin says as he looks up and down to humanity's strongest soldier. It was sad to see Levi like this, he used to look so strong and confident, and now all of that was gone.</p><p>"I don't need help-"</p><p>"You started a fight with one of your soldiers, how can't you see that you have reached rock bottom?"</p><p>"He is not my soldier, he is a fucking piece of shit and he deserved it! I fucking hate him," Levi responded but even he knew that his words weren't making much sense. "I am fucking tired of you telling me that I need help when I don't!"</p><p>Erwin tried not to get angry, he knew that Levi was just heartbroken and that he couldn't listen to reason right now. But even he must have his limits.</p><p>"Then, you intend to keep on like this? You are pushing away everyone who cares about you, you are killing yourself with the opium and you are doing terrible at your job," Erwin says as he raises his voice. "I know what you feel, you regret not telling her sooner. You regret not being enough nor having the courage to tell her."</p><p>"That's not true," Levi's voice trembled as he looks down to the floor, his eyes being covered by his long black hair.</p><p>"You know you love her ... But you are denying that because is the only thing that attaches you to her."</p><p>Levi felt his blood boil. He hated how everyone wanted to help him when he didn't want nor needed their help. He hated how everyone told him that they knew how he felt. They didn't know, they didn't know the hell he is living.</p><p>"And what do you know about love?" Levi says almost like a whisper. "You never told the woman you love your feelings for her ... Instead you were a coward and gave her away to your best friend ... Who are you to tell me what I feel when you are just a scared old man who has never experience love?"</p><p>Since he has known Erwin, this most be the first time in which it was him the one to break eye contact. The Commander looks down to his desk, and a few seconds passed in complete silence before he spoke up.</p><p>"I thought I was your friend,"</p><p>Levi knew he had fucked up, that most of the things he said were just by impulse. Anger, pain, confusion, and many other feelings. Levi didn't know just when will this finish, nor if he could go back to be himself. And the sad thing was ... That he didn't want to go back.</p><p>"Just give me the punishment and I'll be on my way," Levi says.</p><p>"I was thinking of giving you one but seeing that a punishment won't help, I have decided to dismiss you from your duties for two weeks," Erwin sighs as he goes back into writing notes on his notebook, not looking at Levi.</p><p>"Bullshit, just give me the fucking punishment-"</p><p>"Captain Levi, show some respect I am your Commander," Erwin raises his voice as he finally looks at Levi, fiery blue eyes met cold blue ones. "And my decision is final."</p><p>"But-"</p><p>"Understand that ... I don't want to see you on training grounds nor anywhere near the Survey Corps facility," Erwin says as he goes back to his notebook. "If you do, I'll add another week to your suspension."</p><p>And it was just like this, just how everyone began to leave him. Little by little ... Everyone left him. His squad, Hange, and Erwin ... her.</p><p>No one stays ... No one.</p><p>"Fine, have it your way."</p><p>Levi walks away not noticing Erwin's sad look on his face as he exits his office.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>
  <em>"Levi, please you gotta stop leaving hickeys on my neck,"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria looks at her neck and shoulders on the small hand mirror before putting it away and faced Levi. Everyone had already left for training, he was dressed and ready to go to but Maria wanted to talk to him before he leaves.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You know, the dresses I have don't match with scarfs," Maria covers her neck with a black scarf she had made but she wasn't a big fan of them.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"And what is the problem? Now everyone knows that you and I are in a relationship," Levi says as he crosses his arms in front of his chest. "Besides its better for us ... That way no man gets closer to you."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"That is the problem, you get jealous too easily," Maria says as she stands in front of him. Levi sat on the edge of the bed and he looks down at the floor as if he was a child getting scolded.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Tsk, I don't,"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"On our latest date, you got angry because our waiter smiled at me," Maria says as she tried to get Levi to look at her in the eyes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"He was being too friendly," Levi says almost like a whisper but Maria heard him. The brunette sighs as she takes a seat next to Levi, she grabs his hand but he still didn't look at her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Don't you trust me?" she asks.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No, I trust you," Levi says. "But I don't trust them ... I feel like ... I feel like one day you will realize that there are better men than me and you will leave me."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>" ... I see, so you still don't believe I love you," Maria then places a hand on Levi's chin and she slowly turned his head to the side so he could look at her. "Do you really ... Do you want me to make this cheesy?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It happened so fast and unexpectedly that Levi couldn't do anything but standstill. The brunette had pushed him down to the bed, putting herself on top of him. The black scarf of her neck had become undone due to the fast movement, Levi had now a clear view of the hickeys, bites, and love marks he placed on her neck and shoulders.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It really looks nice on her skin but as amazing as they look on them, he couldn't stop gazing at her caramel eyes. Shining bright with such a fierce that it even intimidated him ... He loves that.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Listen ... A man can be very handsome, he can give me the moon and stars, he can make me the happiest woman alive but he still wouldn't be you," Maria had her hands placed to the sides of Levi's head, her long hair almost touching his face. "No man will ever take your place. You are the one I love, I love you, and only you."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria gets closer to Levi's face and he couldn't help but feel a shiver run down his spine. "From now on, I don't want you to have any doubts, so tell me ... Just what exactly do I have to do ... What do I have to do to make you understand just how much I love you."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>His heart began to beat faster as his eyes fixated on her lips. They were slightly parted and wet, begging to be kissed by him. The sides of her dress began to slip and her shoulders became exposed, her skin was shining and clean and he thought of biting her right that second. As her dress slipped more her breast became more predominant and for a second he couldn't stop thinking about how much he wanted to make love to her. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>But they couldn't, he was already dressed and ready to go. He needed to go to training.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But he also couldn't leave her like this. He gave it a thought and wonder ... He was the one with the problem, the one with insecurities and toxic traits. Maria didn't have to do anything to prove the love she has for him, it was a matter of believing.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And for him, the best way to believe in something was to prove it with actions.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Kiss me and tell me you love me ... Many, many times."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria was still on top of him and Levi loved the dominant figure Maria was portraying. She leans in to kiss his neck and Levi was ready to give up on training this morning.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I love you," she says as she kisses his neck. His clothes stopping her from kissing any other place and he really hated all the shit he had to put on for training.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Wait, I've changed my mind ..." Levi says and his words made the brunette stop. "Make love to me and tell me you love me, many many times."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria looks down at him with a teasing smile on her face, she knew that Levi needed to head out for training and she must do this fast. But knowing Levi, she knew that once they start they wouldn't be able to rush things up.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>" ... Do you want me to use your harness?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Now that Levi thinks about it, he loves his uniform. The brown jacket that had the drawing of them together, the white shirt that sometimes will be stained with her lip tint, and the harness that will undoubtedly look amazing on her body. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"And then maybe ... I can be top?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Levi may not know many things but he sure knew something ... That today he won't be going to training. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria leans in to kiss him as she begins to unbuckle Levi's harness. Their tongues dancing, wet kisses, and saliva were exchanged. Levi's hands began to wrap around Maria's waist as he unconsciously unties her dress's corset.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I love you," Maria says as she separates from Levi to look at him in the eyes. The blue eyes she loves so much. "I love you."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her words were soft and sincere, her eyes shone with such tenderness that Levi felt like just hugging her. Her feelings for him were so sincere, so pure ... and he knew that he couldn't let her go. He knew right this moment ... what his feelings for her were.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Levi kisses her back and he places his strong hands on her soft cheeks. "I am sure of that now."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Levi smiles a little and Maria kisses him tenderly. She didn't know she was capable of loving like this and she was happy that Levi helped her move on and feel loved again ... Even if he doesn't know that. She hopes that the great love she has for him makes up for it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And for now and forever, Levi could be sure of something. Without any uncertainty in his heart, he knew that Maria loves him ...</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And that he loves her.</em>
</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>How can people ever understand ... just how much he loves her. He hated that people thought they knew how he feels because there was no way ... no way someone could ever know how much he loves her. Was this even possible? To love to the point that it hurts? To the point that he knew that he needs to move on but he didn't want to because he felt like that was the only thing that attached him to her.</p><p>He knew he had to forget her, to get rid of all the memories and love he once had for her. No matter how much he loved the pain of her memory, no matter how much he loved the idea of being a tragic man in love, it didn't matter.</p><p>He will eventually move on, just like he does when everyone leaves.</p><p>And he just wanted to enjoy the pain for a little bit longer. He wanted to feel this pain and love he feels for her as much as he could.</p><p>He was already starting to forget her smile, the way she looked like in the mornings. Sometimes he would walk past by the lavender fields just to remember how she smells. His time was running short and he was scared that he would eventually forget the sound of her voice.</p><p>Levi was an old man, he didn't have many things he could enjoy. Although this was unhealthy he just wished he could enjoy this a little longer.</p><p>It was snowing and he wasn't wearing any socks. It was cold, really cold. He wasn't wearing a jacket, just a simple shirt with pants. He felt every single snowflake landing on his head and skin, they melted as he radiated a bit of heat. It was bad, at this point, a layer of water will be on top of his head and he will probably freeze.</p><p>He was in a dark alley outside a bar, he had gotten into a fight and was kicked out by the owner. Now he was just sulking, freezing, and hurt.</p><p>Nothing new.</p><p>He wonders the kinda things Maria could be doing. Maybe she is cuddling up in her bed and sewing something up. Maybe she is cooking and enjoying a nice evening with Nicholas.</p><p>Fuck, his mind didn't want to go there but how couldn't he? After the fight, Nicholas most have gone with Maria. She most have healed his wounds. So tenderly and kindly, maybe she even kissed his bruises, maybe they even made love afterward. Him telling her he loves her and her telling him that she loves him.</p><p>How much he hated it ... but he guessed that was part of the pain he likes to feel.</p><p>He felt his hands go numb, his fingers could no longer move as he was sitting down on the rocky path outside the bar. Closing his eyes, he tries to remember her face, the way she smiled at him in the morning, the softness of her hair.</p><p>But those things were slowly fading, his mind no longer cared about those things, and his heart wasn't as hurt.</p><p>He hated himself for pushing his friends away, Petra, Oluo, Eld, Gunther, Hange, Erwin, and everyone who showed any type of concern for him. But this was something he needed to do alone, he needed to deal with the pain by himself.</p><p>Levi couldn't go any lower than this and he hoped that his friends will still be there for him even after he had messed up.</p><p>But even he knew that apologies weren't enough ... and if they distance from him then, that's fine too.</p><p>Everyone leaves ... It's alright.</p><p>It's just the way its meant to be ... Always.</p><p>He felt like sleeping, just letting the snow cover him as his body slowly stops trembling. After a long time of not sleeping properly, this should be good. Just like this, falling asleep as he remembers the faces of the friends he had ... of the people he loves. Of her.</p><p>"Mister, are you alright?"</p><p>Suddenly, he hears her voice. Always sweet like this, always so comforting. The snowing had suddenly stop as Levi opens his eyes.</p><p>"You are freezing, please let me take you somewhere warm,"</p><p>She was as beautiful as ever, holding an umbrella above her as she began to take off her long puffy coat. Her dress looks heavier than usual with more layers for more protection. Putting the umbrella to the ground, she quickly places her coat around Levi's shoulders. He quickly felt warm and smells her lavender fragrance, something he missed so much. </p><p>"Have you eaten anything? I can make you something warm,"</p><p>He didn't blame her for not recognizing him, after all his hair had grown long since she left. His face is full of bruises and scars and of course, she wouldn't think he would be like this.</p><p>Suddenly, she kneels in front of him and she grabs his hands. They were warm and Levi couldn't believe just how much he missed the touch of her skin.</p><p>"Your hands are really cold, how long were you here for-"</p><p>There was a small moment in which his blue eyes met her caramel eyes. He fought so hard not to embrace her. There were so many things he wanted to do but he didn't know which to do first. Hug her, kiss her, tell her that he loves her immensely, ask her why did she leave.</p><p>Did she have any idea ... Just how much he had missed her?</p><p>She uses one of her hands to move the hair out of his eyes and he saw how her eyes began to tremble at the realization. Her soft hands began to caress his face and he wished they could just stay like this forever.</p><p>"Levi?"</p><p>He heard her voice break and he hated himself for being the reason that she looked so worried. Many would have thought that he wanted her to feel the same as he does. But he didn't.</p><p>He didn't want any suffering for her, he didn't want anything bad happening to her ... How could he ever think like that.</p><p>She is the best thing to ever happen to him. Maybe he should say it now before she disappears. He's been wanting to say it for so long, that he loves her. He loves her so much and he doesn't plan on stopping anytime soon. That he wanted to stay near her, it doesn't matter if she doesn't love him. He just needed to be by her side, just be a part of her life. Just like that was fine with him too. But he just needed to let her know just how much he loves her.</p><p>"Maria," he says. "Welcome back."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N: Does Levi have an unhealthy attachment to Maria? Yes, he does but he will learn from it. Was he being an asshole to his friends? Yes.</p><p>You are seeing the worst of Levi, his flaws, and mistakes. But don't worry he will learn from all of that. You know, life it's just like that. People have to make mistakes to learn from them and believe me when I say that Levi will grow from this. He will learn his lessons the hard way, each one of them but he will have his development.</p><p>Maria too, she will learn and develop. We will see more of that in the next chapter. I can't believe there are only 5 chapters left. The ending is already all planned out, full of action, drama, death with a bittersweet ending. I don't know if it is something you all will like but I think the ending will suit the story.</p><p>Anyways, like always thank you for reading One Last Time. I encourage comments of all types, constructive criticism is accepted too! I learn a lot from all comments and I feel motivated to keep writing</p><p>Also especial thanks to my friend @ramingante on tumblr she is one of my biggest motivations! I dedicate this chapter to her, she is so amazing!!!</p><p>See you all next week!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Moving on</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Maria began to cry the moment her carriage began to move and she saw Levi in the distance, waving his hand from side to side.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She cried knowing that this was going to be the last time that she will see him smile. His dark blue eyes shrank as the small wrinkles in his eyes decorated the corner of his eyes. A soft smile was placed on his face, and Maria began to cry more and more until the tears blurred her vision.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The last thing she ever wanted to do was to leave him, especially like this. She knew that after this Levi would be in a lot of pain and she only wished for him to hate her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She tried to console herself, knowing that she was doing this to protect him and herself.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maybe she was being stupid, but her mind couldn't even contemplate the idea ... the idea of being with him. She felt sick even at the thought of it and even wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. A part of her hated Elise for making her do this and the other was terrified at how perfectly the beautiful woman executed her plan.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Please ... Please hate me ... Move on ... be happy ... So, this sacrifice won't be for nothing."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She was a bit glad, however. That Levi smiling at her was the last memory she will have of him ... That was a good way to go.</em>
</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>
  <em>It was early morning and everyone was already running late for training. It was chaotic because today Erwin was going to check everyone's squad. To see their improvement and how the team works together, it was a sort of competition. The best squad will receive meat for a week as their award and everyone was going to give their best.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Maria, can you out tighten this for me?" Petra asks as she shows the brunette her loose harness. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Maria, can you iron my shirt?" Eld asked as she approached the busy young lady.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Wait, she is going to iron mine!" Oluo interrupted as he walks into the dining room.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No, she is gonna clean my boots!" Gunther steps in as well. Maria didn't mind doing all of those things, she just wished they had told her sooner or had wakened her up early so she could take care of those errands.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Oi, brats! Don't overwhelm her, there's only so much she can do," Levi steps in to save her. Of course, he was ready to leave, looking as perfect as the soldier he is.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I'll help you iron, but hurry, we don't want to be late," Levi adds.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria sighs in relief, she was glad Levi was going to help her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Ah, thank you, honey,"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was strange, she had never referred to Levi like that. They have been dating for two months and for some reason, it just felt natural at the moment to say things like that. What was embarrassing for Maria was saying cute nicknames out loud in front of people.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I mean, thank you, Levi!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria quickly corrects herself as she moves her hands across her face, everyone stared at her and she felt the heat going to her cheeks.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"It's fine, let's just hurry ... dear," Levi says the last part quietly but it was loud enough for everyone to hear.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>One thing was Maria saying cute nicknames but Levi? The world must be ending because that would never happen in a million years. That was just not possible and the thing was that his face remained the same. With no expression, just his blue eyes looking at brown eyes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Ah, you are like an old married couple," Gunter says as he lets out a laugh.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"This must be a good day, Captain seems to be in a good mood today," Oluo says.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"He seems to be in a good mood always since he started dating Maria," Eld teased Levi, knowing well that he won't say anything back because it was the truth.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"His face doesn't change at all but I am sure he must be embarrassed, right Captain?" Petra was one to tease next and if she didn't know better, she knew that Levi was reaching a breaking point.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Keep at it and I'll make you all run ten laps around the training grounds," Levi said.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Aw! Maria, please tell Captain to go soft on us!" Petra turned around as the guys kept on teasing Levi. The brunette lets out a small giggle and covered her mouth a little.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Levi, please don't be too hard on them," Maria says with a kind voice and at that Levi rolls his eyes in annoyance, he really couldn't say no to the brunette.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You are all lucky Maria is here."</em>
</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Maria watched Levi sleep peacefully on the small futon she had placed in front of the fireplace. He passed out the moment she found him, freezing to death in a dark alley outside a bar. Of course, she couldn't leave him there, she picked him up and carried him on her back. Now they were here, on the outskirts of town. In a rural area only known to her and the people who visited her.</p><p>This wasn't her house, it was more like someone forced her to live here. However she couldn't complain, it was a nice home. Small and comfortable. Maria's needs were met, she had a bathroom, a kitchen, a place to sit down and eat, a bed, and most importantly ... a fireplace. The chimney was the only thing she needed to survive this winter and she was especially thankful because it was the thing keeping Levi alive at the moment too.</p><p>Maria took a seat next to him on the warm wooden floor. She hoped that the futon bed underneath him and the blankets above him were enough. She could have placed him in her regular bed but since it wasn't close enough to the fireplace, she opted for the futon.</p><p>His clothes were still wet but she hoped that the heat of the bonfire would dry the garments soon enough as Levi would need them for when he wakes up.</p><p>And although she wanted Levi to wake up, she was also scared of the things he will say to her. But besides that, there were many things she wanted to ask but didn't know if she had the right to. When she took off his clothes he noticed multiple bruises and wounds, even his face had suffered some damage. Just what did he go through to be in such a state? Maria wished for everything that is sacred that Levi was not like this because of her.</p><p>And if it was because of her ... Then maybe it was for the best ... Just like Elise said ... Levi had gotten too attached to her.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>
  <em>Maria woke up as she heard a door opening and closing, soft steps as the individual got closer to her. It didn't take her long to find out who it was. The candle lights were off but the moonlight coming from the window allowed her eyes to see just enough. Her eyes adjusted to the figure, standing in front of her. In the beginning, she would have been scared but it had become a normal thing between them for Levi to do this kind of thing.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Is everything alright?" Maria asks as she rubs one of her eyes, letting out a small yawn as she was still in her bed.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I had a nightmare," Levi responds, his voice showed no change from how he usually speaks but Maria could tell that his nightmare bothered him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Do you want to lay next to me?" she asks and Levi didn't hesitate to walk to the other side of the bed, pick up the blankets and emerge himself into Maria's bed. Laying next to her was nice, especially this close. They faced each other and Levi could appreciate Maria's face under the moonlight.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her tired and sleepy eyes. Her crooked bangs that covered her face. Yes, he had offered to cut her hair bangs and he found out he wasn't the best at it. Good thing that Maria didn't seem to care much and didn't get angry at him. He found it adorable, now he could take a better look at her face. Her slim eyebrows and caramel eyes, the softness of her eyelashes, and the non-existent pink on her lips.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Do you want to talk about it?" Maria asks as she moves a little closer to him, their faces close but she can still appreciate his strong features fully. His hair was a bit messy but perfectly cut, she knew Levi was capable of doing his own hair but he had taken a liking for Maria to do it. His eyes were always tired but they didn't look as bad as before. They used to look so cold and monotone, they still had some of that cold but now they were soft too. A certain delicacy and bright to them. His face had strong features, very attractive, and manly. A cute button nose that Maria loves to kiss and his lips were quite predominant. His skin was pale and may not be seen as attractive but she really didn't care about that.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"It was the time ... When Furlan and Isabel died," he began. Levi knew he had already told her the story a couple of times and he was glad that she never looks bothered to hear it again. "Everyone either died or left me ... You left me too." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria stayed silent for a few seconds. Thinking deeply about what she will ask next.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>" ... What would you do ... If I ever disappear or left you?" she asked, hoping that Levi didn't take it the wrong way.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"... You won't, why think about it when I know it's not going to happen."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria had mixed feelings about his answers. She was glad that Levi now knew that she won't leave him but she was also starting to wonder about his true feelings towards her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes, I won't leave you ... But let's suppose-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No," Levi cut her off immediately, and at that Maria knew that they needed to talk about another topic tonight.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Levi, we need to talk,"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>At her words, Levi felt scared. Those words made him feel uncomfortable and just wished that she wasn't scared of him or anything for that matter.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"We never know, maybe one day, I disappear or the titans breach the wall and I don't make it," Maria says as she noticed that Levi wasn't liking the things she was saying. "I just don't want you to be sad forever-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Please, I don't want to talk about that," Levi turns around and gives his back to Maria. It was times like this when Levi felt distant, he seems unreachable and she had to run miles to meet him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But she didn't mind.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I just don't want you to get too attached to me," Maria says as she moves her body closer to his. She wraps her hands around him as her chest touched his back and she rested her head in between his shoulder's blades. "I'll never leave you but sometimes things happen ... I was really attached to Nicholas and one day, he left me ... I was so sad I thought I was going to die ... I just don't want you to go through that pain."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria didn't know what Levi was feeling, she couldn't tell neither by his body movement nor his facial expression. It went silent for a few seconds until Levi spoke up.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"If you ever stop loving me, it will hurt a lot but it doesn't it scare me," Levi whispers loud enough for Maria to hear. "What scares me is that you will leave me and I won't be able to see you again ... That I won't be a part of your life and that you won't be a part of mine." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You are not just my lover, you are my friend, my caretaker, my confidant, you are so much to me," he says. "You are such an important aspect of my life ... I don't know what I would if you were not there."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You had a life before me, and you will have one even when I am gone-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No, I didn't," Levi turns around abruptly and this time he faced Maria, his arms naturally placed themselves around her. Her head was on his chest and she could hear his heartbeat.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I didn't have a reason to live, I was just living for the sake of it ... And but then you showed me so much."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Levi meant his words, if it wasn't because of Maria maybe he would still be the same man as before. Closed-minded, without friends, no goals. She really had helped him improve himself and he couldn't be more thankful. Maria has told him before that people don't suddenly change, that it takes the individual to actually want to change to make that happen.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria didn't change him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Levi changed himself for the better so he could be good for her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I know I can have a life without you ... But I don't want to, I refuse to ... I know I am acting selfish but just for this time," Levi closes his eyes, as he begins to caress Maria's hair. "Even if our happiness is short-lived ... Allow me to be with you as much as I can ... Be with me for a very, very long time."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It felt natural now for Levi to feel so at ease with Maria. But to Maria, she couldn't help but feel especial. To feel blessed that Levi was able to open up his heart like this with her. She lets out a small tear roll her eyes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Rest assured that if anything happens to me or my feelings for you ... I'll still stay by your side ... the same goes for you ... if you ever stop having feelings for me, just tell me." She says as she hugs him tightly. "I will be part of your life just like you will be part of mine."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"My feelings for you won't ever change ... I think I know that by now," Levi says. "But, of course, I still will prefer it if you love me forever."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria lets out a giggle as she looks up to Levi, this was one of the few times in which he was the one looking down at her. Usually, when they kiss, there was a small height difference in which Levi was the one at a disadvantage.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But not now, their eyes met and they didn't hesitate to share a small chaste kiss.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I know that you have a hard time expressing yourself and I think recently you have been forcing yourself too much," Maria says as they kept looking at each other. "You don't have to say anything yet, don't stress over it ... I think I know and ... If you can't say it, I'll say it enough for the both of us."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The house attendant softly touches Levi's face and he instantly enjoyed the contact. He honestly wasn't one for physical touch and he knew to an extent he disliked it. But the reason why he likes her touches was that it was Maria the one doing it. Only with her, it was good and enjoyable.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I love you, Levi," Maria says as she once again placed her head on his chest. Listening to his heartbeat, she didn't know she could be this happy. "I love you."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I love you," she said again and Levi hugs her tightly. At that moment, he felt another wall break down inside of him. He never thought life could be like this. Peaceful, enjoyable, and beautiful.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And that night, he swore to himself to wake up every day and fight for this peace to stay the same.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Now and forever.</em>
</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Levi woke up as his eyes adjusted to the light radiating from the bonfire. He felt strangely warm and comfortable at the moment. A quick thought passed through his head, maybe he died and was now in heaven.</p><p>He moved his head to the side and he noticed Maria sitting next to him.</p><p>Alright, did he really died?</p><p>No, that couldn't be because his body hurts and he didn't know the exact reason why.</p><p>Their eyes met for a moment, blue and brown. And being in the presence of each other was awkward. Maybe he could pretend to be asleep. No, that wouldn't be good. Besides ... How was he supposed to feel when he is been wanting to see her for more than a month?</p><p>"... Would you like something to eat?"</p><p>Maria wanted to slap herself for the stupid question. But just like him, she was lost for words and even emotional. She's been wanting to see him with the hope that he was doing fine and even better without her. It broke her heart to see him like this but another part was content that at least Levi had woken up.</p><p>" ... I should get going," Levi says as he straightens up, his back hurting a little. He sat on the floor, the futon underneath him and he realized that he was naked.</p><p>"Where are my clothes?"</p><p>"They are drying off, it's also snowing very bad," Maria says as she sat next to Levi. "I have enough food supplies to last us two weeks, you may want to stay here for a couple of days-"</p><p>"No," Levi says but internally he was telling Maria to ask him again to stay. Nonetheless, he knew he should leave too. Because although he was dying to see her, it also hurts him deeply. "I think it's better if I leave as soon as I can."</p><p>"... At least wait until morning," she says, her eyes trembled a little and Levi knew that she was worried about him, that she still had some type of feelings for him.</p><p>And that is what hurts the most. He can't stay.</p><p>"No, I can't-"</p><p>"Please,"</p><p>She naturally touches his shoulder as to make him go back to sleep and as he felt her soft hand touching his skin, he knew that he wasn't going anywhere.</p><p>" ... I'll go back to sleep," he says as a million questions raised his mind but he didn't dare to ask.</p><p>"Alright, I'll have something ready for you to eat when you wake up," Maria stands up and although Levi was about to deny her, he didn't feel like it. He was exhausted and a part of him didn't believe that she was here. But this moment was real, he knew it because when she touched him, he felt a sense of peace.</p><p>Something he hasn't felt in more than a month.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>
  <em>"Are you seriously going to get angry because of that?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Levi stood quiet as he laid on the bed next to Maria, almost half naked as they were going to be intimate. Until he asked a question and Maria answered him honestly.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"That was four years ago, Levi ... And you asked!" Maria covered herself with the blankets as her chest was exposed. What was she supposed to say when he asks questions like that? Lie to him?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I asked you how was your sex life with him not if it was great or not!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He replies, a hint of jealousy in his voice. He didn't face her, instead, his back was facing her. The mood was ruined and Levi didn't want to do anything anymore.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Well, how did you want me to answer?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Maybe something along the lines of Nicholas was terrible and you are the best man I've been with Levi," humanity's strongest soldier covered himself with the blankets as he was looking at the candlelight on top of the desk next to him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Besides you, Nicholas is the only man I've been with, I don't know if you are the best man I've been with-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria stopped mid-sentence as she realized that Levi's eyes were on her now as his head was slightly turned to look at her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Tsk," he turns his head back to a natural position, again not daring to face her. "... I am still better, right?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You are not making me answer that are you?" she asks as she hopes to receive a negative answer to her question.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"If you don't answer that means he is better and you just don't want to hurt my feelings," Levi replies, still not facing her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"It was four years ago, does it really matter with who I lost my virginity with or who is better?" Maria didn't know if Levi was genuinely angry or just teasing her to get some of her attention. "Why are men so fixated on that?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Because it should have been me!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I didn't know you!" The brunette loved Levi so much, but sometimes he really could be like a child.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes, you did!" he says as he raises his voice a little, showing his anger. "Your brother talked about me in his letters didn't he?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria hugged him from behind, as she rests her head on his neck. She knew that Levi had his insecurities and sometimes he just needed a reality check and some words of comfort.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Did you expect me to fall in love with you with the way my brother wrote about you in his letters?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Even Levi knew it sounded stupid, and even more his answer.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"... Yes."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria tried her best to get Levi's attention but it seems like he was focused on staying angry at her for something she didn't have control over.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Levi, if anything, I didn't like you. You were a jerk to my brother."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And she was right. But what Levi hated was the fact that there was nothing he could do to change that.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>" ... Tsk, fine whatever."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was awkward after that, Maria didn't know how things turned out to be like this. At first, they were about to make love and now Levi was angry at her. And the sad thing was that she didn't know what to do. What can she say to make him feel better when there was no solution to what he was feeling. She couldn't go back in time and changed the way she felt about Nicholas. Levi knew that as well but what bothers him was the fact that Nicholas was and still is a big part of her life.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The brunette places a quick kiss on his cheek before removing herself from Levi to give him some space. Maybe that's what he needed, to have some alone time to think.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I'll go to sleep," she says as she turns to the other side of the bed. "Goodnight ... I love you."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But she didn't get a response back.</em>
</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Levi wrapped the blanket around his body as he sat on top of the futon. He hated how comfortable he was feeling and the scene felt almost too natural. From time to time he had dreamt of things like this, living in a small house with the woman he loves. It happened but not like how he wanted. He was hurt, tired, and emotionally wrecked.</p><p>Especially, he hated how happy and sad she made him feel. </p><p>Levi couldn't think of anything but hug her, kiss her, make love to her and tell her to never leave him again. But, his other half told him to have some dignity and pretend like it didn't hurt. Like watching her sad face didn't affect him, or pretend that the being in the house didn't make him extremely jealous. He couldn't stop thinking about the many nights Maria most have spent with Nicholas in this place. Loving each other as they once had.</p><p>He stared into the fireplace in front of him, watching the dancing flames, hearing the cracking of wood logs, and smelling the lavender aroma that radiated from the brunette.</p><p>"I made you your favorite," Maria interrupted his thoughts as she took a seat next to him on the futon, carrying a small tray of food. "White rice and tea ... I also put some fruit and-"</p><p>"I lost my appetite," Levi quickly replies as he still kept looking at the flames in front of him, not looking at her not even for a second.</p><p>Maria knew that she didn't have the right to feel sad, after all, she wanted Levi to hate her. But she couldn't deny that it pains her to see him like this. Acting so indifferent.</p><p>"At least let me put some cream on your wounds," she begged, her voice almost cracking.</p><p>Fuck, Levi didn't know it could be this difficult, everything he wanted was to hug her. To tell her how much he loves her ... But he just couldn't. And for a moment, he thought he was going to break down too.</p><p>"It's not necessary ... Just give me my space," he gulped some of his saliva as to prevent his voice from cracking. His words were that of a pleading, he didn't want to be near her. He just knew that if she stayed any minute longer he would break down and he didn't want Maria to see him like that.</p><p>"You are right, sorry," Maria stands up and she leaves the tray of food there, maybe he will get hungry later on. She looks up to the ceiling to prevent any tears from coming down her eyes. "Feel like home, there are some books on the table you can read if you get bored ... I'll go and get some rest on the bed."</p><p>Levi didn't say anything but with his peripheral vision he watched her walk to her bed. It was a small house and everything was in one single room except for the restroom. There was no privacy as the house was meant for only one or two people to live on it. If he turns his head a little, he could watch her laying down on her bed.</p><p>But he didn't.</p><p>Maria just went underneath the blankets of her bed, wishing that Levi would stand up and sleep next to her. But of course, that won't happen. He was too hurt and was still hurting and she hated herself. Because after all the promises she made to Levi, she couldn't keep any of them. A part of her wanted to die, maybe that way it could be easier. But the idea went quickly away. She knew if she were to do that, the people who care for her would be sad.</p><p>Levi would be sad and she just didn't want to cause him any more harm.</p><p>Maria had never felt hate for someone, may Nicholas at some point in her life. Hate and terror at the man who abused her and still could see his face in her nightmares.</p><p>And Elise ... She hated her for making her do this ... For making her chose something she wasn't ready for.</p><p>And it was just too much.</p><p>Everything.</p><p>Because looking at Levi made her remember why she was doing it. She remembers the thing she wanted to forget as terror fills her heart.</p><p>Her only comfort was Levi but he hated her now and there was nothing she could do because she deserved it.</p><p>Maria immediately covers her face with the blankets as she covers her mouth to stop the uncontrollable sobbing, to prevent Levi from seeing and hearing her quiet cries. She hoped with all of her heart he doesn't hear her.</p><p>Weak.</p><p>That's the only thing she did not want Levi to see her as.</p><p>But the thing Maria didn't know was that Levi heard each and every single one of her oppressed cries. Covering himself with the blankets, no one could see his face. Embarrassed and afraid that someone might see him being this vulnerable. He couldn't let her see him like that and he pretended as nothing happened.</p><p>Acting so strong and unbothered, Levi didn't notice that a small tear roll down his face.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>
  <em>"I am so sorry, Maria," Nicholas held her tightly as the woman he loves cried on the bed uncontrollably. He tried to comfort her but even he was broken.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"He must be hating me, I told him horrible things in the letter," Maria faced away from him as she cried, her voice breaking. "Now I am forced to live in this place ... Her eyes would always be on me ... and I am going to live with the constant fear that one day he can come and-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"He won't!" Nicholas placed a hand on Maria's shoulder and made her turn around. She stopped sobbing the moment her brown eyes met his blue dark ones. "This time ... I'll protect you ... So, please ..."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nicholas's eyes began to tremble as his eyes became watery and his voice cracked. "Don't hate me."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria sits on the bed the moment his eyes began to shed tears. His eyes became red as well as his nose. Maria was so focused on her feelings that she had forgotten about Nicholas.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I am sorry ... I am sorry," Nicholas began to mumble the same words again and again. Maria hugged him from behind, trying to bring him some type of comfort but even she knew that it was futile.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>They both cried until the next morning.</em>
</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>The next morning wasn't any better. The blizzard was still going and although Maria knew that it was day time, it felt like night time.</p><p>Levi was still asleep or pretended to sleep, she walked past him for a little just to see him with his eyes closed. She decided to heat some water and use it to take a bath. </p><p>    Now she was in the bathroom, warm water surrounded her naked body. She submerges into the water of the wooden tub and she lets out a subside scream. The brunette comes back to the surface as air filled her lungs but the moment she did, she noticed Levi standing in front of her. Looking down at her from the entrance of the bathroom. </p><p>"Care if I join?" he asks but Maria immediately covers her chest as she crosses her arms in front of her. </p><p>"What?"</p><p><em>"Did he lose his mind?"</em> she thought.</p><p>Levi didn't realize his words until he said it, <em>"Fuck, I lost my mind."</em></p><p>"I said, care if I piss?" Levi corrected himself as he begins to unbutton his pants. During the time Maria was taking a bath, he took the opportunity to change into his now dry clothes.</p><p>He didn't wait for an answer as he was already walking towards the small restroom. Inside the bathroom, there was another small room where the privy hole is. A fancy thing to have in the house, usually restrooms and privy holes would just be outside the house.</p><p>Maria was about to protest but she stopped herself the moment she noticed that Levi entered the restroom and closed the door behind him. </p><p>She took the moment to get out of the bath and wrapped a towel around her body. She walked out of the bathroom into the main room.</p><p>That was a strange moment and she just hoped that overall it wouldn't be a strange morning.</p><p>Oh, she was wrong.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>"Alright, I should get going," Levi came out of the bathroom, never looking at Maria but knowing she was there. He walked towards the door and was about to exit but the brunette stopped him midway.</p><p>"It's snowing really bad, you won't make it," Maria places herself in between Levi and the door. "And you know that."</p><p>"I don't care," he replies. "Now move or I'll move you."</p><p>"No, you can leave once the storm stops," Maria says as she opens her arms wide to stop Levi from going anywhere near the door. "Stop being so stubborn!"</p><p>"Move Maria ... Don't make me move you," he moves closer to her, this time he looks at her eyes.</p><p>Maria did not want to admit it but she was a bit intimidated by him at the moment. </p><p>"You are not going anywhere," she replies and at that instant, Levi picks her up and puts her on his shoulder. Carrying her like a potato sack, he moves across the room to her bed.</p><p>"Put me down!" Maria tries moving but Levi had a very strong grip on her and she was unable to break free. For Levi, it was easy to walk to her bed and with one movement, he places her on top of it. Her head resting on the pillow and her body on the rest of the bed.</p><p>"You stay here," he says but Maria tried to stand up again and Levi unconsciously placed his body on top of hers to prevent her from walking out of the bed.</p><p>"You can't leave!" the brunette tried grabbing him by his shirt but to stop her, Levi grabs her wrists with his hands. Placing them on the sides of her head. He was on top of her as he held her wrists against the bed, making her unable to move.</p><p>"No, you stay here and I am leaving-"</p><p>Oh, what was he about to say?</p><p>He forgot the moment his eyes met hers. Her eyes shone with hope and desire. Soft breaths of air let her nostrils as her chest rose up and down. Her long brown hair was a mess and she had just taken a bath and hadn't had the chance to brush it. He used to do that before, brushing her hair was something he loved doing and from time to time he will still dream about it.</p><p>Maria on the other hand did not know where to look. She felt his eyes on hers, he was looking at her as if he wanted to eat her. With so much desire that Maria couldn't help but think about all the things he must want to do with her.</p><p>His right leg was in between her thighs, and Levi knew this as he decided to move his leg just a little more upwards, his knee almost touching her intimacy.</p><p>Maria lets out a small whimper as she felt Levi getting closer to her neck, smelling her scent. His nose slightly tickling her as he uses it to touch her skin.</p><p>"What would you do ... If I make you mine right now," Levi says as he breaths into her neck. "If I keep you here forever, locked up ... I could visit you every day, make you mine whenever I want and we could be happy together just like that."</p><p>" ... You won't do that," Maria says, she wasn't scared of Levi. She knew him too well, this wasn't Levi talking but his intrusive thoughts. Sometimes it would be like that but she had gotten good at reading him.</p><p>"And what makes you think I won't do that?" Levi asks as he goes back to looking at her in the eyes. Not letting go of her wrists, still on top of her. </p><p>"Because I know you love me too much to ever hurt me or make me do something I don't want to do," Maria says as Levi froze. </p><p>It was funny, really was. Because he was so fixated on not being able to tell Maria how he feels. On not being able to tell her how much he loves her ... Just to find out that he doesn't need to say anything. She already knew and he didn't know if he should feel relieved or sad.</p><p>"I hate it ... I hate how well you know me," Levi lets her hands go and he removes himself from  her. "And I hate that after all the pain you made me go through ... I can't hate you."</p><p>Levi walks towards the fireplace, he runs his fingers through his hair. "I want to hate you, despise you ... But I can't ... I fucking can't."</p><p>Maria stands up from the bed, she follows Levi to the fireplace. He sat down on the futon, exhausted, and she sat next to him but it seems like he wanted to keep his distance.</p><p>"You knew about my feelings for you ... and you still decided to leave me ... Without explanations, just a fucking letter," Levi says as he watched the bonfire in front of him. "Do you know how betrayed I felt? Do you have any fucking idea the torment I went through? Not only re-reading the letter you wrote for me but all the other fucking letters Nicholas used to send you?"</p><p>Levi promised to always try his best and control his panic attacks in front of her. But at the moment he couldn't, his emotions were wrecked and he hated to feel like this, so helpless. Before he didn't mind because Maria was always there to support him but now he didn't even know ... Would she comfort him like she always does?</p><p>"But you know what? When I finished reading all of those letters, I understood something," Levi says. "He writes so eloquently ... Pretty words and coherent sentences. He tells you how much he loves you so openly and it's not vulgar, it's elegant."</p><p>The brunette wanted to hug him but she was afraid that he might break down the moment she does. So she lets him continue, as listening was the only thing she could do.</p><p>"I understood that I am no one compared to him, that I was stupid to think that you will love someone like when you have a man like Nicholas after you," his voice cracked but he didn't care anymore. He turns his head to the side to prevent Maria from looking at his face. "And you deserve him, you deserve to be with a man like him ... I had always thought he was a lucky bastard ... But I was the lucky one ... just a lucky scum who thought it had the chance to be happy."</p><p>At his words, she breaks down into tears. Her heart feels like it was going to explode and if she could die of a broken heart she would.</p><p>Levi didn't know why but he was angry at hearing her cries. He hated the fact that he was useless and helpless because he couldn't do anything. Nothing but feel anger at her.</p><p>"Why are you crying?" he raises his voice as he finally turns to look at her. "You shouldn't be ... aren't you happy being with him?"</p><p>The indifference coming from Levi was too much and at this point, Maria knew that there was no point in their relationship anymore. That everything they had build up might as well go to the trash.</p><p>"I am crying because I love you and I hate that I have put you through so much pain," this time she finally had the courage to touch him on the shoulder in hopes that her words might be what  saves the relationship. Just anything would be fine.</p><p>"Stop lying, if you loved me you would have never made go through this!" he says, almost screaming. "You don't love me! If you had loved me, you would have told me you were leaving me!"</p><p>"We talked about this, didn't we? Even if you stop loving me, even if I stop loving you ... We will stay in each other's lives!" maybe it was her touch that triggered him, the panic attack. It was strange because a part of him wanted to embrace her and the other part wanted his pride to take over and push her away.</p><p>"I just needed you ... I just needed you to be with me and you left me! You don't love me and you know what, that is fine!"</p><p>Strong pain in his heart, no air left in his lungs, his hands shook and eyes trembled as tears wanted to escape his eyes.</p><p>" That would have been fine with me ... just being your friend, just being close to you ... that would have been fine with me," it was a plead for help, as a man who had lost his will to live. Broken and without a place to go. "But you decided to run away and break my heart ... You never loved me and you never will."</p><p>The cracking of wooden logs filled the quiet room, the fireplace was the only thing maintaining the house warm. Heavy breaths released from Levi as he tried to get air back into his lungs.</p><p>And suddenly, Maria hugs him. So tenderly, with so much love. He wanted to push her way and not believe in her lies but how couldn't he when everything about her was indulging?</p><p>"Don't you dare say that," she whispers sweetly into his ear. "Don't you dare say I don't love you when everything I do is for you!"</p><p>She knew that her words contradicted her actions but at the moment she couldn't say much nor give any explanations. There was nothing more than she wanted than to explain things to him, to tell him the actual reason why she left him.</p><p>But Maria couldn't risk it ... It was selfish of her. Because although she was staying away from Levi to protect him ... She was also doing it so she didn't have to face her past demons.</p><p>"So, you left because of me?" Levi hated it so much, just a simple touch, just a simple affection coming from her and he was at her feet. "I would never want such a thing."</p><p>Maria separates from Levi, softly she places her warm hands on his cheeks. Touching her forehead head against his, her eyes closed. </p><p>"Levi, really, after all of this time ... You still doubt the love I have for you?" </p><p>Keeping her eyes closed, she hopes that her words reach his heart. That although she couldn't provide him with answers, her actions would show how much she loves him.</p><p>"I asked you before ... and I'll ask you again," Maria whispers. "What exactly do I have to do ... to show you .... to prove to you that I love you?"</p><p>And just what could he do? He was humanity's strongest soldier. But it only took one touch, a few words and he was weak. Completely at this woman's feet ... only hers.</p><p>He grabs her face and forcefully placed his lips against hers. It was sloppy, wet, and filled with desire.</p><p>Till what point could he need her so much? He missed her like crazy, like a puppy waiting for their master. He craved for her as if she was the last glass of water.</p><p>Their lips crashed and their teeth touch from time to time. Saliva escaped from their mouths as they combined into a single type of fluid. Pooping noises were made as their lips separated to get some air.</p><p>Levi pushes Maria against the futon mattress, already thinking of all the things he is going to do to her.</p><p>They both knew this was wrong, that they were just following their heart's desires and needs.</p><p>"For today ... For the time we spend together during this storm," Levi places himself on top of her, looking directly at her eyes. "Let's pretend that nothing else exists ... Just us ... just the now." </p><p>This was going to cause trouble later on and Maria knew that. This was going to be a short-lived happiness. That after the storm ends, all of this will have to end.</p><p>But she just couldn't say no, to the tempting idea of taking away Levi's sadness even if it was just for today.</p><p>Maria nods and Levi lets out a sigh in relief.</p><p>"I am on my safe days," Maria says as she feels heat going up to her cheeks. "So, don't hold back."</p><p>"I wasn't planning on doing that either way," Levi leans closer to her face, seductively whispering in her ear. "I'll make love to you and you will make love to me until I am completely sure ... until there is not a single speck of doubt that you love me."</p><p>The crazy thought of making Maria pregnant ran through his mind. Maybe be that way she won't leave him. It was another of his intrusive thoughts. The thought that in some way or another he can attach her to him forever by having a child. But Levi couldn't do that, deep down he knew he was literally at her feet. If Maria says '<em>stop'</em>, he will. If she wants to have a baby, he will happily accept it. If she wants to run away ... He will have to let her go.</p><p>But not now, that didn't matter.</p><p>Levi began to softly run his hand through her legs as he kept kissing her. Maria felt how his other hand began to pull off the edges of her dress. It wasn't one of those heavy dresses she used to wear, since she was at the comfort of her home she wore a white nightgown. It covered her completely from shoulders to toes, it was comfortable and easy to take off which was what Levi enjoyed the most.</p><p>It has been more than a month since they  have seen each other and they already craved each other's touches. Levi stops kissing her and removes himself from Maria, he could already tell that she was ready but he hasn't had his fun yet.</p><p>He takes off her nightgown fully, revealing her naked body. However, Maria was still wearing underwear, it didn't matter he will take it off soon enough.</p><p>"I am going down on you," Levi says as he places his face in between her thighs. But of course he needed to tease her first. He kisses her thighs, his lips against the softness of her inner legs. Biting, sucking, and kissing every single centimeter of her skin. </p><p>Maria loved and hated the feeling. Levi would take his sweet time doing this kind of thing, she felt his lips and breaths getting closer and closer to her intimacy but never fully reaching there. It was making her crazy, she wanted him so bad that it hurts.</p><p>"Levi ... please," Maria lets out a soft whimper which made Levi feel all the more satisfied. He could also feel his member getting harder by each passing second. But he couldn't stop teasing her, he just loves the look on her face.</p><p>"Please what?" he asks, as he looks up to her. Never stopping the kissing of her things.</p><p>"You know ..."</p><p>"No, I don't know ... You have to be more specific," he had a teasing smile and although his face still had some bruises and scars, Maria didn't mind at all. Levi was still as handsome as ever.</p><p>"I want ..."</p><p>Maria says the words that Levi's been wanting to hear, and he proceeds to satisfy her. Her body shakes as waves of pleasure overtook her body, a part of her wanted more but she also wanted to enjoy the moment. Levi's tongue travel around her body and spots only he knew, the sloppy sounds made her feel all more embarrassed but still enjoyed the moment nonetheless.</p><p>On the other hand, Levi enjoyed watching Maria arched her back  in pleasure. How her hands pulled his hair as she wanted more of him, all he could do was to give her what she wanted.</p><p>After he realizes that she was ready, Levi removed his face from her temples, leaving her shaking and in the middle of ecstasy. He licks his lips as he tasted Maria's fluids, never getting tired of the flavor.</p><p>Maria looks away in embarrassment and from one moment to the other, she moves away. The act bothered Levi to an extent but he was more worried about the fact that he may had done something to upset her. The brunette closes her legs and covers her chest with her arms, Levi watched her every movement and for a moment he thought she was going to start crying.</p><p>"I am sorry, I am just emotional because ... This will be our last time together,"</p><p>That was the conversation Maria and Levi have been avoiding. It was a topic Levi did not want to talk about but tragically he knew that it was needed to move on.</p><p>"Before you leave, I want to say sorry for leaving you the way I did," Maria got closer to him as she placed a hand on his chest, she could feel his heart beating. "I can't give you a reason, I can't tell you why ... But believe me when I say I did it thinking about your well being."</p><p>Maria felt her heartbreak as she contained the tears that were threatening to come out of her caramel eyes. She caressed Levi's face and he felt like breaking too but was too proud and too stubborn to let that show.</p><p>"One time, you told me that you would do anything for me ... If I asked you ... If I asked you to forget me ... Would you do it?"</p><p>Maria looks away and Levi was glad that she did, that way she won't be able to see the way his face changed with pain.</p><p>"After the storm comes to an end and you have to leave, can you move on?" the brunette finally lets out a small tear roll down her eye, and Levi wanted nothing but to wipe it away but at the moment he couldn't feel his body. "Can you pretend like I never existed ... Can you forget me and live a happy life?"</p><p>Maria could tell that her words completely pained him. His eyes showed nothing as if there was no life left in him.</p><p>And how couldn't he? The only thing he wanted was to live in the pain of their memory as much as he could. Because the pain was the only thing attaching him to her, the only thing that can stay with him forever. That and the drawing they did together that was safely guarded within the walls of his rooms.</p><p>" Are you seriously telling me ... To forget the only person who has made me happy?" Levi held Maria's shoulders with his strong hands, she could feel them tremble slightly."That's so cruel of you ... How could you even think of that."</p><p>Maria felt weak against his touch, it was one of the few times in which Levi would do this. It was like a plead, begging for help and some comfort.</p><p>"I'll do anything for you ... Anything ... But please ... Not that."</p><p>Maria looks into his dark blue eyes as the flames from the bonfire reflected on them. So beautiful, yet not even that could hide the pain in him.</p><p>"Please Levi ... I beg you."</p><p> Since the moment Levi decided to be with her, to open up to her ... He knew that he just couldn't say no. Levi was at a loss of words, his mind was not working properly but he knew one thing. That he would do as Maria says.</p><p>Levi didn't know anything ... But he knew he could forgive her and that his mind and body could never hate her. </p><p>"Fine," Levi says as he finally finds the words he was looking for. "If this is our last time together ... Let's make it special."</p><p>He was ready to say it, it was this moment right here. Under the warmness of this home and their hearts beating at the same rhythm.</p><p>"Maria, I lo-"</p><p>But Maria covers his lips with a kiss and at her tenderness and kindness, Levi was at a complete loss.</p><p>"Don't make it more difficult ... besides it's ok, I know," Maria has her face close to Levi's, they felt each other's breathing in their lips. "I know ..."</p><p>Levi broke because he knew that he was stupid and he took his time with her for granted. He wishes he could go back in time and slap himself, he wished he could have told her he loves her before. Now he won't be able to do it, not before, not now, not ever.</p><p>And he understood why ... because saying it now would just be cruel. For both of them. The only comfort that was given to him was the idea that Maria knew. She knew about his feelings for her, that he loves her and now she knew that he would literally do anything for her.</p><p>So, why does it still hurt? Why does he feel pathetic and broken? Levi could only conclude that this was his destiny, that he was destined to only feel pain, and that every single moment of happiness he feels could never last.</p><p>Levi places his head on Maria's chest as he can hear her heart beating. He wished he could stay like this for a little longer just so he could memorize the sound of her heart.</p><p>"Was I only born to suffer?" He asks and Maria caresses his hair. Knowing she will miss doing this like crazy and now this will only happen on the sweetest of her dreams. She embraces him and Levi had never felt so protected and loved before but this moment. </p><p>"No, you were born to fight."</p><p>Levi embraces her strongly and he hoped that he wasn't hurting her. He only wished that this was enough, that this moment could be the sweet memory that will remain with him till the end.</p><p>They separate and at the moment their eyes met, they kiss. Knowing that this would be the last time, knowing that after today, Levi would be the one to walk away.</p><p>It was more than lovemaking to them, it wasn't only pleasure but the feelings they had for each other. To show the other who loved more in a constant battle of their bodies.</p><p>The heat radiating from the fireplace heated their bodies and the rubbing of their skin created friction within themselves.</p><p>Their clothes were forgotten as they keep the lovemaking on top of the futon. Levi had already marked Maria's body, bites, and hickeys in her whole body, and this time Maria didn't care. Today was an exception as all she wanted was for Levi and herself to enjoy the most they could.</p><p>"You are ready?" Levi asks. He is sitting down and although Maria's body was already trembling, he places her on top of him. Levi grabs Maria's waist and was ready to move her down to his erected member.</p><p>Before, Levi looks up to her to see some type of consent to keep going.</p><p>"Yes," she responds, and at that Levi slowly begins to move her hips down. Maria had her hands on his shoulders and she grabs them strongly as she feels Levi's member enter her intimacy.</p><p>Maria lets out a moan as she takes him fully, her legs shaking as she now moves to fully embrace Levi with her arms.</p><p>Levi could feel her entirely. The walls of her intimacy surrounding him, making him contain a growl. His erected member pulsated as it was eager to start moving.</p><p>"Please ... Start moving," Levi whispers into her ear, making Maria shiver at how beautifully his voice sounded. She looks into his dark blue eyes, full of desire, passion, and love. If there was something she wanted to see before she dies, it was his beautiful eyes.</p><p>The brunette begins to move up and down, from side to side. Hoping nothing more than her movements were good enough for him, to bring him any kind of pleasure possible.</p><p>Levi on the other hand was losing his mind already. But he tried to keep a good facade, to try and be sexy and masculine for her. He lets out moans and growls, soft pants of breath.</p><p>"Look at me," Levi says loud enough for Maria to hear but it became difficult for Maria to keep a straight face when she was receiving so much pleasure.</p><p>At that Levi grabs her by the neck, applying a little bit of strength at the back of her neck. It was the perfect combination. While Maria was taking dominance for the pleasure of both, he added a little more by controlling their upper body's movement.</p><p>He loved it all, the way her eyes would roll back with ecstasy, her pink cheeks that made her look so beautiful, her swollen lips that were tired of kissing but not yet satisfied. He didn't know just how in the hell Maria could ever think she wasn't prettier enough for him ... Because, at the moment, Levi couldn't think of anything else but think that he was making love to an angel.</p><p>"Levi ... I am close," her voice cracks and Levi feels her insides quiver in excitement. "Please ... Let's finish together."</p><p>At her begging, Levi pulls her closer to him. Using the hand he had at her neck to push her against him, unifying into a wet kiss. Both of them losing their minds as they were about to reach their climax, Levi felt Maria's breasts against his chest, her nails marking his back skin making him feel a little bit of pain but he found it very pleasurable.</p><p>And finally, Levi releases his seed inside of Maria. His warmness made Maria reach her climax as her insides trembles. She wanted to let out a few more moans but Levi kept kissing her, suppressing her small whimpering.</p><p>After a few moments, Levi separates his lips from Maria and took a moment to look down at his artwork.</p><p>Maria's legs were still trembling even when she was sitting on top of Levi. However, she still managed to pull away from Levi. She lays on the futon with her legs open, allowing Levi to see just what he wanted to see. </p><p>His seed overflowing, dripping off her intimacy and slowly making its way down to the soon to be dirty futon.</p><p>"You came ... A lot," Maria touches her insides and soon enough she touches the hot liquid coming from inside her. She takes a quick look at her hand and notices Levi's white fluids on her hand, it still feels good and she hoped that her actions satisfied Levi as well.</p><p>"Yes, and I am not done yet," Levi says as he places himself on top of her, loving the look on her face. "Sorry, I meant to say that <strong><em>we </em></strong>are not done yet."</p><p>The ex-tavern dancer sweetly smiles at him, they kiss once more as their lips begged to be connected once again. If there was one thing Levi wanted was for this moment to be eternal, for the hours they will be spending together to last a lifetime. </p><p>Levi caresses her brown hair, probably one of the things he will miss doing the most. No, never-mind. There will be a lot of things he will miss from her. Brushing her hair, waking up next to her, sharing a cup of tea in the morning, saying <em>'welcome back'</em> after she comes back from work, and many other things. He just didn't know how he could ever live without her. </p><p>But for her, he will do it.</p><p>Maybe in the long run it will be better for the two of them, Levi was aware of that. And that's what he hated the most.</p><p>Their act of love continued throughout the day. They were sweating, sounds of ecstasy filled the room along with the burning of logs on the fireplace. Their scents mixed creating a beautiful aroma and their bodies kept connecting in ways that brought waves of pleasure to the both of them. </p><p>It was as if their bodies and souls knew that this was going to be their last time together.</p><p>Tiring each other bodies till the point of exhaustion, until their lips gave out, until their eyes began to close, embracing each other and  they drifted into a beautiful sleep. </p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Levi watched Maria sleep in the comfort of her futon. She must be tired and with all the good reasons. The brunette didn't even get to have breakfast in the morning and even Levi was surprised that she had lasted as long as he did. </p><p>With a pen and paper at hand, he was writing a letter to her. It was better if he leaves now, the snowstorm had died down and he had eaten an apple for the small trip to town. It shouldn't be too far away. Maria had asked him to leave and forget about her but still, he felt bad just leaving like that.</p><p>He took the liberty to look around her house and was able to find paper and ink. Unconsciously, the words came out naturally to him. There was no pressure and finally, his heart was able to speak freely to her.</p><p>Watching her sleep brought him comfort and he began to wonder just how he will ever get by the days without seeing her. For a moment, he wished he was talented at drawing because if he was, he wouldn't have hesitated to draw her just like this so he could have this memory of her. </p><p>He couldn't believe how much he has changed in this couple of months. A strange sense of nostalgia overtook his body the moment he remembers the first time they met.</p><p>
  <em>"Um, hello ... My name is Maria and I am your new designated house attendant."</em>
</p><p>Now that he remembers he must have looked like an idiot back then. He was cleaning the house, dirty, and wearing a white cleaning bandana around his head. Even now he wonders why and how in the hell did he get to be with a sweet woman like Maria. But now that didn't matter, all that's left is the memories.</p><p>At the end, Levi didn't find the courage to leave the letter. Instead, he brought it with him as a form of a memoir. A way to remember how he felt the day he left. Maybe someday he will look back at this and remember fondly. Maybe he will forget the letter and throw it in the trash unknowingly. Not like he wanted that to happen ... But it's what she wanted and he would do as she says.</p><p>Levi looks back at her sleep one last time before opening the door. He wishes there could be another way, or at least that she could give him some answers.</p><p>But she wasn't willing to share that and all he could do was to trust her predicament. That the reason she left him and the way she did was the best for him ... For both of them. </p><p>And he hoped with all of his heart that this was the best for her too.</p><p>Maybe they weren't meant to be together in this lifetime ... Maybe they just met too late. Before Levi didn't really care about his life nor gave too much thought about it. But he had concluded that he didn't mind living it as long as Maria was there with him. </p><p>But now that she wasn't here ... What was he supposed to do?</p><p>
  <em>"Can you pretend like I never existed ... Can you forget me and live a happy life?"</em>
</p><p>Oh yes, that.</p><p>He had to be happy, for her ... for himself.</p><p>For a promise.</p><p>And with that thought in mind, Levi left the house. It was still cold and little snow fell from the sky. </p><p>
  <em>Had it always been this cold?</em>
</p><p>Levi didn't know the answer to that, he could only hope that there would be warmer days to come. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N:</p><p>Four chapters left!</p><p>The next chapter will have ANSWERS. Finally, Levi will find out the reason why Maria left ... What will he do? It's a bit sad to say goodbye to this story but I am excited about the new upcoming works I'll be doing.</p><p>I don't  have much to say about this chapter, it's mostly about Levi accepting his fate. I think he accepted the fact that sometimes people have to leave. It's just how life is, people come and go and whatever the reason is, you have to respect that. We can't control a person nor  their decisions, the only thing left to do is appreciate what we learn from them and move on.</p><p>Now that Levi is ready to move on ... Just what kind of things will he do? He messed up a lot with his friends from the last chapter so I think he will want to ask for forgiveness first. But will find out more next chapter!</p><p>Finally ... Next week ... We will receive answers.</p><p>Also, what do you all think about the smut? I am not used to writing sex scenes but I always try my best to give you all sexy and romantic sex scenes. They are not super long nor descriptive because if I were to do that, I feel like the chapters will be super long. Maybe once I am done with this story, I'll write a few extra chapters with more detailed smut lol. </p><p>Once again thank you so much for reading One Last Time! If you like my work remember to leave a comment, they really motivate me! </p><p>Thank you so much again!</p><p>See you next week!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Answers</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <em>Elise</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>"Remember, to be feared is better than to be loved."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I've never believed in those words.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>At least I tried not to even when the man I dated was hanged in front of the masses. But now that I think about it, I don't know if he was dating me because he was actually in love with me or because he feared me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But that doesn't matter now.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"And stop eating your nails or I'll rip them off!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Those must be the kindest words I've heard when I was a child. My mother nor my father were found of affection and I am sure that just like me they didn't know what love was either. My parents hated each other and they probably do even today. Nothing has changed, maybe if I get to experience love I can break the cycle of hate.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I tried loving my parents and couldn't. I tried to love the servants but they feared me. I tried dating a man and I think he loved me ... I think.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I was tortured into confessing, but I was so used to the pain of broken bones that I was able to pull through it with my mouth shut.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But for him? One nail off and he confessed.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Well, too bad for him. Because although my parents hate me, they know they can't kill me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But he was a simple military man ... and was hanged.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You were supposed to marry the king and have his children! We would have been set up for life! But now we can't give you to him because you opened your legs too soon, you fucking whore!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Maybe we should sell her off, with her face she will be a good prostitute in the underground city."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I wasn't scared, at this point I had never expected much from my parents anyways. I was their only child at that time and killing me and end their bloodline wasn't in question.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And then I was forced to enter the Survey Corps, mostly for two reasons. So my family could keep me away with the hopes that one day a titan will eat me outside the walls, so they can say I died 'protecting humanity.'</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The other was because my mother was pregnant and I wasn't needed in the family any longer.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And for three years, I trained. Perfection was never an option for me, it was the only option. Being imperfect, weak ... It's humiliating to me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I graduated top of the class, something my parents didn't expect nor cared too much about it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And as I joined the Survey Corps, as I came back from every outside the wall expedition unharmed, as I began to kill titans and have status ... They recognized me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Not only my parents ... Everyone. Their eyes on me always, trying to be friends, maybe because they wanted status or power ... Or maybe just because they wanted to sleep with me and I didn't care.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I thought that maybe, out of those countless stand-up nights I had ... Someone may be able to love me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"She is royalty! Come on! How many of you can say that you slept with someone from the royal families?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Not only that but she has a lot of money too! I heard she paid Leone's father hospital bills!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"If you are lucky you can marry her and have all of her money!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What? No, I don't want to end up hanged! I just want to have a good time."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>At that time I understood that the only way to receive some type of love was through putting up a facade. And it worked. I would give money for free, sleep with men whenever they wanted, be the perfect soldier.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And that got me the love I was craving. It wasn't real but it was enough for me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And things would have been fine if they kept like that ... But then ...</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He showed up.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"The name's Levi,"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I still remember the first time he showed up, I hated his guts. He believed he was better than everyone, that his skills were superior.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And I hate to admit it, but they were.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Come on Dietrich, if you don't step up your game the newbie is going to take your place."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But of course, I wasn't going to allow that. I am always the best, I had to be the best to keep my style of life, the only thing I know is perfection and I must be so at everything.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I could have careless when Levi's friend died on the outside the wall expedition, I only talked to Furlan and Isabel a couple of times and they were no threat to me. Now that they were out of the way and Levi was affected by their deaths, I had the opportunity to take back my rightful place.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"If you keep your hips straight while using the 3D maneuver gear, that's only going to make you slower," Levi said as he approached me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I had finish training by myself in the forest with the 3D maneuver gear, it was late at night  and everyone had gone home.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I don't need your advice creep," I said as I walked past him, I was wondering just what he was doing there late at night but I honestly could care less at the moment.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"If you listened to advise maybe you will able to accomplish that slaying technique but you can't," he said.</em>
</p><p>We weren't in the best of terms, this was probably the second time we have talked since our fight at the dining hall.</p><p>
  <em>"It's like dancing, just  move your hips along the flow of the wind," Levi took a few steps closers to me, he was a bit smaller but that didn't make him any less handsome.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"And what do you know about dancing?" I asked.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Well, I may not know much about dancing, but I believe it's like making love," he says. "And believe me when I tell you I am really good at that too."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was strange. From fighting each other every day to having sex on a regular basis.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Levi was a unique man, he seemed to not give a shit about anything. Maybe that's what attracted me to him in the first place. He wasn't with me for the money or anything like. Maybe it was only for the sex but there will be moments ... Moments in which he showed he wanted more. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yo Levi, so tell us ... What's your type?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"My type?" Levi asks.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"On women!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>There were many things that I overhead that night. But something always stuck with me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I don't have a type, I don't believe in romance or love or any of that bullshit."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Well, what about you and Elise?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And an idea occurred to me ... If I make Levi fall in love with me. Someone as cynical as him ... Would I be able to experience true love? At that point, I knew I had strong feelings for him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But as I got to know him more. The times in which we were off the bed. The way he would care for me, the way he tried holding my hand, make tea for me. I just knew ... I just knew that he was the one.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What about her?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You like her don't you?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And everything could have been fine, I could have gotten back to him. If it wasn't because that whore came along.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I don't understand why ... What the heck does Levi sees in her? I am way prettier than her, stronger, and have had more impact on humanity than her. Fuck ,I am sure I am better at sex than her even.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I never thought I could hate someone to this extent.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Did Levi had any idea? Any fucking idea of what he was missing?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A happy life with me, we could have a nice house inside Wall Sina and lived happily ever after.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Levi is very gullible so it's my responsibility to make him see that his life could be better. After everything he has suffered ... I know I can make him happy.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Well, maybe she can be the exception."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>At his words, I couldn't help but remember my dad's words.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Remember, to be feared is better than to be loved."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And I can't wait to prove him wrong.</em>
</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>The moment Levi woke up, he met dark blue eyes and red hair.</p><p>"Oh, seems like Maria has a thing for men with dark blue eyes," Nicholas kept looking down at Levi who has obviously seen better days. "We even have the same shade of blue ... Where is your family from?"</p><p>Levi didn't know what was going on, maybe he was dreaming or having a nightmare. The candlelight was dim and from what he could tell he was in a room, one he has never been into.</p><p>"My mom was a prostitute ... underground," Levi replied, he didn't even know why he was telling him this. Maybe because his head was hurting or just to be nice for once.</p><p>"... Interesting," Nicholas says as he stops looking at Levi. He straightens his back and walks back to his room's desk.</p><p>"Where am I?" Levi says as he blinks and sits on the bed, slowly his memories were going back to him.</p><p>"I was going to visit Maria after the snowstorm but then I found you in the middle of the road, asleep," Nicholas says as he noticed that Levi had his eyes on him. "I couldn't let you die there so I carried you and took you back to the Survey Corp's dorms ... You are in my room."</p><p>It was quiet for a second and it was even awkward, mostly because they weren't on the best of terms since their fight a few days ago.</p><p>"Also ... I found this next to you," Nicholas pulls out a small bag with brown powder on it. "This is going to end up killing you."</p><p>Levi had forgotten about the opium that he had consumed after he left Maria's house ... Ah, yes ... Maria.</p><p>"It was cold and I thought consuming it will make me feel warmer," Levi didn't even know why he was explaining himself to Nicholas of all people but what else could he do?</p><p>"Opium it's not like beer, it's not something you can consume on a regular basis," Nicholas says and he is quick to throw the opium on his room's trash can. "That's what sellers what you to think so you can keep buying ... And when you expect it the least, you are addicted to them."</p><p>"And you are telling me because?" Levi was thinking of just standing up and leave but he had to admit that his legs were too cold to move.</p><p>Nicholas lets out a heavy sigh, he didn't go to see Maria today and that made him be in a bad mood. "I used to consume opium and that caused the greatest mistake of my life ... I don't want you to go through that."</p><p>Levi looks away as he tried to get a little more time so his legs could warm-up and he could leave. However, his silence made Nicholas think that Levi wanted him to continue talking.</p><p>"If something happens to you, everyone will be sad and not only Maria ... People care for you, Captain Levi," Nicholas began to walk towards the door, ready to leave Levi. "Maria was there for me when that happened ... So, I guess I have to be here for you now."</p><p>Their eyes met for a moment, blue dark eyes met</p><p>"For how long have you been consuming opium?" Nicholas asks as he opens the door.</p><p>"A little more than a month," Levi responds. "And two times a week more or less."</p><p>"Well, it's not that much. You are lucky, you may not have developed an addiction yet," Nicholas says. "But just to make sure, you will be kept in my room for the rest of your suspension ... two weeks right?"</p><p>Levi looks at him with wonder in his eyes. It seemed like Nicholas knew so much but as far as Levi remembers, he doesn't remember telling him that Erwin had suspended him because of the fight.</p><p>"Erwin told Hange and she told me," Nicholas saw the surprise in Levi's eyes and decided to expand on his answer. "I also got a punishment but that's besides the point ... Feel like at home, Hange has also agreed for you to stay until you feel better."</p><p>Nicholas looks at Levi once again. It was strange, Levi reminded him of how he used to be four years ago. With the same lost look in his eyes ... the same blue.</p><p>The redhead sighed and before leaving the room he said,</p><p>"Everything is up to you now Captain."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>The good news was that Levi was doing fine without the opium, he felt more frustrated at the fact that there was no tea at Hange squad's house. He was lucky as no addiction was developed and he promised himself to never consume anything that can harm his body. His body and face were doing better too, his bruises were slowly disappearing.</p><p>It had been a week in which Levi was not let outside of the house only with supervision. He had to admit that Nicholas was doing a good job of keeping up with him. Checking on him, feeding him, and even talking to him. During that time, Levi did a lot of thinking. Although all of his feelings were not figured out, there was something he wanted to do. If he was going to start moving on, he needed to start a new.</p><p>As a favor requested by Levi, Nicholas had gathered Hange, Erwin, Petra, Eld, Oluo and Gunther. All of them inside the same room. It was strange, everyone was in Hange's home. Silence and only the burning of logs coming from the fireplace could be heard. Everyone sat in the one-row of chairs.</p><p>"I know you are very busy," Levi interrupted the silence. This is something he won't normally do but at this point, he just learned that sometimes things like this were necessary. "But I thank you all for coming here."</p><p>"You all know that I don't like beating around the bush," Levi says and he lets out a sigh, all eyes on him. "I know that apologies are useless, but at this point, it's the only thing I can do ... I was a jerk to all of you, I hurt you all and I don't blame any of you if you hate me ... There's no excuse for the way I treated you."</p><p>Nicholas stood next to the fireplace as he watched the Captain talk to his friends. He wouldn't show it but Nicholas could tell Levi was nervous, he hid his hands on his back as they were trembling.</p><p>"Hange ... I didn't mean to offend you, you are by far one of the most incredible women I have ever met," Levi found it difficult to look at Hange in the eyes but somehow he found comfort in them. "I am sorry I didn't listen to you, If I had ... I would probably not be here."</p><p>He turns to look at his squad who all felt like crying at the moment, especially Oluo who secretly had a great appreciation for his Captain.</p><p>"Petra, Eld, Oluo, Gunther ... You are my squad, you all gave me your support and trust ... But instead, I pushed you all away," he says. "I am sorry ... I've been a very bad leader."</p><p>Petra smiled at Levi while Eld nodded in agreement. Oluo and Gunther stood quiet but listen to every single word.</p><p>Levi turns to look at Erwin, who sat in the middle. He couldn't tell what he was feeling and his face showed no expression.</p><p>"Erwin ... I disrespected you, not only as my Commander but as my friend," Levi says as he takes a step closer to the group. "I am sorry I couldn't be a better friend."</p><p>Levi felt the eyes of the blond man on him, there was so much he wanted to say to him. But at the moment, only a few words could escape his mouth.</p><p>He then turns to face everyone, he spoke directly from his heart and he could only hope that his words can reach them. Levi was aware that he had messed up and the only thing he wanted was to start a new.</p><p>"You all were always there for me ... I was so blinded by my pain before that I hadn't realized that ... I always had people who supported me and loved me."</p><p>Letting out a sigh, he couldn't help but remember the brunette. Maria ... He missed her so much. But this is what she wanted right? This is what he wanted too.</p><p>"I know it's too much to ask, I know you are all angry at me ... But if you give me another chance ... I promise ... I'll do better ... I'll-"</p><p>Suddenly, Hange stands up from her chair and Levi thought that she was going to punch him. But that wasn't the case ... Hange wraps her arms across Levi, embracing him. He heard everyone stand up from their seats as well.</p><p>"We were never angry at you ... We were all sad and worried because we thought you had lost your way," Hange says. "We thought you would end up in a bad place."</p><p>"But look at you, you found your path again and you have developed so much," Hange looks at Levi with kind eyes as she parts from him, letting his other friends join their moment. "I was wrong."</p><p>Levi wasn't one for contact, especially when Hange wasn't one to bathe regularly. But at the moment he didn't mind too much.</p><p>"You are not the same man I met a year ago ... For you to stand up here and tell us you are sorry," Hange places a hand on his shoulder. "To be this vulnerable with us ... You trust us and love us don't you?"</p><p>At the moment, Levi couldn't speak. What Hange had said was true and he didn't know why but he felt a heavy knot being formed on his throat. As he couldn't speak, he nods and that's all the comfort everyone needed.</p><p>"You also felt scared and lost when Maria left right?" Petra was the one to speak now and he got Levi's attention. "You had nowhere else to go ... You didn't want to bother us with your problems."</p><p>Petra was right and Levi couldn't do anything but nod. He wasn't saying anything but everyone could tell by his eyes that he was containing himself.</p><p>"But it's ok Levi ... We will take care of you now," Eld says as to comfort the Captain. "We won't leave you, we promise."</p><p>"We love you, Captain!" Oluo and Gunther say in unison and they bounced off to hug him. Levi rolled his eyes, although he was a bit annoyed, he appreciated the thought.</p><p>For a moment, Levi's eyes met Erwin's who had a reassuring smile. "Welcome back, Levi."</p><p>Humanity's strongest soldier smile, finally knowing that these were the people who made him stronger. They were here for him and they were going nowhere. He had found his place, somewhere he was accepted ... His home.</p><p>"I am back."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>It was going better but saying that he had completely forgotten is wrong. He could still see her face on the morning sun, her laugh on the wind, her smell on the flowers.</p><p>He missed her so much, so much that it pained him.</p><p>But there was nothing he could do but to try and forget her ... Just as she had asked him.</p><p>It was going to be a long time before that happens but he could only hope that with time, things will go in his favor.</p><p>For now, the only thing he could do was to enjoy the pain that was left and re-live the memories they had together.</p><p>It was strange, that little by little he was doing better. He was eating properly, getting enough exercise, and was in a better mood over all. At some point, he didn't know if he was doing better because Maria had asked him to do so or because he actually wanted to be better.</p><p>But does it matter? Probably not.</p><p>The only thing that matter to him was that he was keeping his promise to her by forgetting her ... Do what she wanted him to do.</p><p>And it was sad because he wanted to feel sad, miserable even. But he couldn't. Not all.</p><p>All due to the brunette and their promise.</p><p>He really couldn't believe how much of a blessing Maria had been in his life.</p><p>One of the many things he had done during his recovery time was to apologize to Elise and even Nicholas. The redhead was surprised but there were no hard feelings between the two. Maybe they could have been great friends if they didn't love the same woman. Who knows, maybe in a couple of years all of this can be a funny story.</p><p>As for Elise, they decided to give their relationship another try. Slowly but it was there. Levi had stopped sleeping around, knowing that his promiscuous behavior wasn't a healthy copy mechanism.</p><p>Instead, he focused on cleaning and even had taken a liking to draw. Tragically he was never able to give Maria the drawing album he had made for her. Mostly for two reasons. The first one was that he didn't finish the drawings he had in mind and the second one was that he felt like his drawings weren't good enough for her.</p><p>It was his only way to keep his feelings at bay. Whenever he felt sad, he would take out his sketchbook and draw. They were bad drawings but it was a nice way to remember the good times and remember her face.</p><p>He still had the drawing they did together and that was probably the thing that kept him sane at the moment. Levi was just too scared of forgetting her face ... Just like how he forgot his mother's.</p><p>Levi was doing well at work now too. Training went smoothly, his squad and he was on good terms as well. The food at home was terrible. Maria used to take care of that but now that she wasn't here, everyone did their own thing. Levi was a terrible cook but from time to time he would receive food from the other house members. There was more work to do in the house and there were times in which they remembered the brunette and how much she used to do for them. It was sad but there wasn't much they could do but split the chores.</p><p>His relationship with Elise was stable too. He had learned to be more open with her and had even gone on a simple normal date with her. Levi was aware that it was too soon to be in a new relationship but Elise insisted and if she was alright with it, he agreed to be with her.</p><p>Their intimate life was good, the sex was great but Levi couldn't help but feel like it wasn't the same. He knew that it was wrong but he couldn't help but think of Maria.</p><p>He felt miserable at the thought that will never be able to make love to the woman he loves. And even regretful because he was thinking of another woman while having sex with Elise.</p><p>Levi had been clear with Elise in that sense too and she had accepted that aspect of his life at the moment.</p><p>Or at least that's what he thought.</p><p>It was a weekend and Levi had just come back from town to buy food supplies. When he went back home he was surprised to see the door was left open. It was strange, Levi knew he was very picky about this kind of things. His team nor he would ever leave the door open. The instant he entered the house and felt the heat, he knew that there was someone certainly inside their home.</p><p>His heart couldn't help but feel hope that it was Maria. Maybe she had changed her mind and decided to come back, maybe she was sitting by the fireplace and decided to wait for him with some tea at her hands. Levi couldn't help it but smile just at the thought, of dropping the bags he was holding and run to her.</p><p>But it wasn't her.</p><p>Elise sat in front of the fireplace, her legs crossed and her back softly resting against the cross rail. She looked so refined and beautiful but there was something off about her. Her face wasn't delicate but vigorous. Her bright blue eyes showed such determination that Levi felt a little bit uncomfortable. It wasn't just like her.</p><p>And even so, she looked so relaxed, drinking tea out of a white teacup Levi knew very much. It was the cup Maria had given him, the one with the beautiful engraving. He loved that cup so much and he didn't even drink from that cup since he was scared of breaking it.</p><p>"What? Were you expecting someone else?" Elise says as she begins to flip the pages of the book she had on her lap. A book Levi knew too well, his sketchbook.</p><p>His face most have completely changed when he saw her because Elise was angry. More than that, furious.</p><p>"Did you forget our date today?" Elise says as she keeps her eyes on the sketchbook. "I was waiting outside and got cold, so I sneaked inside the house."</p><p>"I am sorry, I forgot about the date," Levi says as he places the bags he was carrying on top of the dining table. "I thought I had told you I was going to town with my squad."</p><p>"Well, where are they?" the blond woman asks.</p><p>"They stayed in town, they wanted to drink so-"</p><p>"Don't lie, Levi ... Have you been seeing Maria?" Elise asks as this time she looks up at humanity's strongest soldier.</p><p>"No, I haven't," he replies, getting a bit annoyed at her presumptions. "Also, I would appreciate it if you put that cup away ... And did you look into my stuff?"</p><p>If sneaking inside the house without permission wasn't enough, for Levi it was annoying that Elise had looked into his personal things.</p><p>"And what if I did? I am your girlfriend, I have the right to do so," she says as she closes Levi's sketchbook but still it lay on her lap.</p><p>"I don't think that's how it works."</p><p>"And I think the reason why you are being so defensive about it it's because you have something to hide," Elise wasn't backing away but Levi wasn't going to let her have her way either. "After all I've done for you ... You still think about her."</p><p>Levi was quiet as Elise lets out a heavy sigh. She looks at the teacup in her hand. Simple and beautiful just like the whore.</p><p>"To Levi, enjoy every day as if it was your one last time," Elise says. "Pathetic."</p><p>Elise then throws the tea into the floor and it breaks completely. Levi was too in shock to even move and he couldn't react either when Elise threw his sketchbook into the bonfire, burning it.</p><p>"What are you doing?!" Levi screams at her as he gets closer to the bonfire, his sketchbook already beyond saving. He looks to the shattered teacup next to him and he couldn't help but feel terrible at the moment. "That was important to me! How could you?!"</p><p>"How could I?! How do you think I felt when I found this letter in your room?!" Elise pulls a paper out of her jacket's pocket, showing it to Levi who was still next to the fireplace. "You met her ... You made love to her ... and you ... you love her."</p><p>Levi stood quickly as he heard Elise's voice crack as she turns the letter to begin reading. "My heart won't ever be able to express how much sadness it feels knowing that we won't be together anymore. I am sorry, I am a coward and I didn't have the courage to tell you how much I love you."</p><p>"I told you ... I told you I still had feelings for her-" Levi wanted to justify himself but Elise didn't give him the chance to as she continues reading.</p><p>"Before, I thought that the portrait drawing we did together was stupid but now I can't imagine my life without it. I will forever hold into it, always with me wherever I go," Elise continues reading, not believing what she was reading. "I promise you to be happy and I think I will be because you are always with me, in my mind and heart ... always."</p><p>Their eyes met for a moment and it was silent. Only the cracking of logs could be heard, Elise tried containing her tears but couldn't.</p><p>"Since when did you learn how to write so well? Since when are you so open about your feelings?" She asked as she began to tear off the letter and threw it onto the fire. Another thing Maria will never be able to read.</p><p>"Elise I-"</p><p>"Give me the drawing," she says.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"The drawing portrait ... You always have it with you, don't you?" Elise asks as she wiped away her tears. "You must even have it with you now ... So give it to me."</p><p>And she was completely right. Levi always had it with him, the drawing was in his black jacket's inside pocket. Right in his heart and well protected. It was a simple piece of paper but it meant a lot to him.</p><p>"No," Levi says, offended enough. He was willing to try to be good and have a good relationship with her but it seems like that wasn't going to happen.</p><p>"Give it to me!" Elise screams as she takes a step closer to him.</p><p>"No," Levi responded quietly but loud enough for her to hear.</p><p>"Why not?!"</p><p>"Because her memory is the only thing keeping me sane!" Levi screams, letting his feelings be known. "Because I can't imagine my life without her! Without the memory that she used to be a part of my life and just because someone is gone doesn't mean that the love you have for them it's over!"</p><p>"And what about us Levi?" Elise says as she grabs him by his shoulders. "Do you have any idea about the things I have done for you? About the love I have for you? You are going to throw all of that away for a fucking whore?"</p><p>"No Elise, she is not a whore and she has taught me many things," Levi couldn't help it but have a small smile on his face as he remembers the brunette. "You don't hurt the people you love, you don't possess them, you don't destroy the things that are important to them! She taught me that and much more."</p><p>Elise's hearts began to break as his words struck her like lightning. She couldn't contain the tears and what hurts the most is that she had never seen Levi as happy as this moment. Her plan was crumbling down.</p><p>"And it's not only that, love can come in many ways. In your job, your hobbies, friends," Levi says. "You love an individual for who they are and not for what they can give you back ... You don't have to possess someone. Fuck, you don't need to be with someone to love them ... As long as you know they are happy and safe ..."</p><p>Levi looks up to Elise who was speechless, her eyes trembled in sadness. A frown on her face who made look even more miserable.</p><p>"You can also find love in loving oneself but to be honest I don't think I will ever be able to do that ... But what I can do is accept who I am and know that even someone like me deserves respect."</p><p>"I thought that we could be good together. You know you always stood by my side and everyone deserves a second chance," Levi continues as he feels that Elise slowly loses her grip on his shoulders. "But you did this ... I think we made a mistake."</p><p>"What are you trying to say?" Her voice was a mess and puts her arms across her chest in a protective manner.</p><p>"I don't want to be with you anymore, I am breaking up with you," Levi says. "I think I won't be ready to be in a relationship any time soon ... We can be friends but that's about it ... I am sorry."</p><p>Levi saw something in Elise change, she immediately stopped crying and as she finally wiped away her tears, she stood tall. Trying to intimidate him, to show the hatred inside of her. But Levi felt nothing, he was sure of his feelings and of his decision. Before, he found it comforting that Elise always stood by his side. Whether it was a bad or good relationship, he was glad that she was there with him.</p><p>But now he couldn't accept it, now he knew that sometimes it was good to let go ... He had to let go.</p><p>"You will regret this," Elise says as their eyes meet.</p><p>Levi wanted to end this on better terms but he couldn't do anything as Elise was already on the door.</p><p>As she opens the door to leave, their eyes meet for one last time.</p><p>"I promise."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>After a few days, Nicholas was looking for Levi like crazy. It was late at night and Nicholas had gone out of his way to talk to Captain Levi. He thought he was exaggerating at first but after what he received in the mail today, he knew he had to speak to Levi.</p><p>He knocked on his house's door multiple times desperately. Holding onto his brown bag that contained the thing he received today. Finally, the short man he was looking for opened the door.</p><p>"Flaherty? Levi says as he looks up to the redhead. "What the hell are you doing here?"</p><p>"I need to talk to you, in private," Nicholas responds as he looks down at Levi.</p><p>"I haven't had my evening tea, can you wait-"</p><p>"It's about Maria."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>After a few minutes of walking, Nicholas and Levi were on top of a hill. The hill in which Levi had planted a tree as a memoir for Isabel and Furlan. The tree was bigger and Levi will even go as far as to say that he was proud of how healthy the tree looks. But right now there wasn't time to think about that.</p><p>"Look, I'll be clear with you ... I've been looking for Maria for days now," Nicholas says as he looks around the place, only grass around them and the moon above. "Whenever I go visit her, she's not there. At first, I thought she was just busy shopping or that she had gone on a trip and I had tried looking for her in town but nothing and today I received this ..."</p><p>At that moment, Nicholas opens up his brown bag and puts his hand inside of it. Levi waited un-patiently and he felt that his heart could explode at any second due to the anticipation.</p><p>But his heart didn't explode, it had stopped. His breathing was none existent and his hands began to shake.</p><p>"Is that ..."</p><p>Nicholas reveals what he is hiding in his bag, it was hair. Beautiful, long brown hair tied together with a white ribbon.</p><p>"It's Maria's hair," Nicholas murmurs as he still didn't believe what he was holding.</p><p>"What happened?" Levi began to feel desperate, as he walked towards Nicholas and took the hair out of his hands. The moonlight shone on it and he just knew it was her hair. He had brushed it so many times, he just knew the texture and look of it. "Nicholas tell me what happened?!"</p><p>"I am not supposed to say anything but I have no choice ... Levi there's a reason why Maria left you the way she did," Nicholas's voice trembled a little at the thought of Maria. "It was because I was stupid ... And because of Elise."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>
  <em>"Do you know about the recent murders and kidnappings going around? Survey Corps' family members are persecuted and soon it will be all military branches," Elise walked around Maria as her boots impacted the grass underneath her. "What would you do ... If you were to find out that Levi is the one behind those crimes?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria felt the air leave her lungs, she just knew that it wasn't possible. That Levi could never do such a thing. "That's not true."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Of course it's not. But that's not what everyone is going to think," Elise says as she stands behind Maria, looking at the tree in front of her. "The planning took a long time but everything is done."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What do you mean?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I went around finding reliable people ... Eyewitnesses who will say that the person who commits the murders looks very much like Captain Levi," Elise turns her body to face the brunette. She couldn't see her face but only her back. "And if that's not enough, I have a written letter from him confession the murders to you."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"That's not true! He never-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes, he never did," Elise enjoyed seeing the panic face of the brunette. It had been six months and everything was paying off. "Levi sent you letters six months ago when you lived with Hange's squad, didn't he? And don't lie ... I am friends with the mailman and told me about it."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria stood quiet as she watched Elise walk playfully around the tree, just like a little girl.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"The Survey Corps' mailman will be an honest witness ... It took me three months to copy and perfect Levi's handwriting," Elise says. "And of course, going inside his office was also complicated ... But he really should more careful. He left his official seal stamp on the first drawer of his desk."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Levi used to be a criminal. Once the Military Police finds out, he will either be sent to prison for life or be hang," Elise begins to walk in front of Maria, her hair bangs covering her face and she showed no reaction. "And of course Levi won't even have the back up of the Survey Corps ... After all, they are the ones affected ... Erwin maybe the Commander but even he knows that he needs the support of his soldiers if he ever wants to do something meaningful for humanity."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I can also place the murder knife under his bed if necessary," Elise added as she got closer to the brunette, her smile never disappearing.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Isn't your family powerful?" Maria asked as she looks down at her feet, it was cold but right now that didn't matter. "Why go through all of this trouble if you can just put anyone in jail?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Elise lets out a heavy sigh as she tried her best to get a good look at Maria as the moonlight was the only source of light at the moment. "My parents once sent the Military Police to kill the man I was dating ... They said that he conspired against the king, of course, that was a lie. You see, when there's no proof, people start talking ... I just can't afford those types of rumors about me nor my family ... Not anymore."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria begins to tremble and she didn't know if it was because it was cold or because she was scared, maybe both. She had come to trust Elise but now all of that was shattered.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You kidnapped and killed all of those people ... Just so you could have Levi at your feet?" Maria says, her eyes trembled and she still couldn't believe this was happening.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Actually, I had planned something else ... Killing isn't my thing but it was going to happen anyway so ..."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What?" Maria asks. "What do you mean it was going to happen anyway?"</em>
</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>"Elise has another plan ... And that's where I come in," Nicholas looks away, he was trying to contain his feelings but as he retold the story to Levi, it was becoming more difficult.</p><p>"You see, she is a really smart woman ... If only I had known ... If I had been more careful ..."</p><p>Levi felt like he was going numb, that was too much information to take in and at the moment he didn't know what to feel.</p><p>"Six months ago, I was cleaning the library as my punishment," Nicholas felt like vomiting just at the thought, of how repulsive a person could be. "Elise would come to visit me and help me .... Eventually we became good friends and I opened my mouth when I shouldn't."</p><p>"I told her that when I used to date Maria, I had an opium addiction and that I had gotten in trouble with the people selling it."</p><p>Nicholas felt conflicted because four years ago he promised to never tell anyone about Maria's secret. And this was selfish of him, he knew that Maria would have wanted for him to not say anything to Levi.</p><p>But how couldn't he? When he would tremble in fear just at the thought that she might be in danger?</p><p>"I am the only one who knows about this but ... Four years ago ... Maria was raped," Nicholas says. "Of course, I didn't tell Elise about that but she figured it out."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>"<em>I heard Nicholas before talking to himself ... about wanting to kill a bastard who hurt you," Elise says as she feels the wind dance through her golden hair. "And after he told me he used to have an opium addiction, I connected the dots."</em></p><p>
  <em>"God, men are so stupid," she lets out a sigh as she got closer to the brunette. She wanted to see her face when she tells her the news. "My family is the biggest distributor of opium in all of the walls ... That's when I remembered that Mr. Alon Ackerman used to take care of that business for us."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It seemed like Maria had also begun to connect the dots because her face was filled with horror as her brown eyes met Elise's light blue ones.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I talked to him and at the mention of Nicholas Flaherty, Mr. Ackerman told me ..." Elise continued. "How perfectly he remembers raping Nicholas' girlfriend because he didn't pay."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria began to shake, her legs began to tremble as she felt like she could faint at any moment. She fell to the ground and she could feel the cold grass touch her body.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Mr. Alon has his own reasons for wanting to kill people, something along the lines of getting revenge for his clan, honestly I didn't care too much to listen ... But I connected everything and that's how this plan came to be." Elise enjoyed seeing the brunette broken like this. On the ground, she couldn't even cry because she didn't believe it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You are so stupid! You married your own rapist!" Elise screamed at Maria, knowing that the place was too remote for anyone to hear them. "You have his last name! And you are going to have to live with that for the rest of your life."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"If only you had gone to meet him, if only you hadn't trust Levi's judgment," She bent down to look at the brunette. With one hand, she held her chin up. Elise could see the tears coming from her eyes. "If only you had faced your problems since the beginning, we wouldn't be here."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria hasn't felt like this in years. She began to remember, the pain, the suffering, her traumas were coming back to her. The thing she wanted to forget the most ... It was coming back to kill her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Do you remember his face? Maybe you don't, maybe you have decided to block that memory, but it's alright. It doesn't matter now," Elise smiles at the house attendant. "Just know ... That if you don't stay away from Levi ... Your rapist is going to take you from here and make you live with him ... He has the right to do so, after all, he is your husband!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Elise began to laugh as she stands up from the ground, leaving the brunette broken. She had to admit, that she felt a little sad seeing the woman like this ... Just a little. After all none of this would have happened if Maria had stayed away from Levi since the beginning.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria did not know what to think. There was no escape, what could she do? If she tells Levi, there is no doubt he will confront Elise. If that happens will end up in jail or worse, dead. And she will be sent to live with her rapists and live her life in the agony of having to remember her misfortune.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"At least, let me break up with Levi," her voice cracked as she grabbed into Elise's leg. She wanted to beg but even she was aware that someone like her won't budge.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her feelings were messed up and she felt stupid and betrayed ... Because deep down she really thought Elise had changed and had become her friend.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No, no ... You have to leave him, just disappear on him," Elise kept her smile, it was nice. So nice being the one with the power. "Levi loves you too much, I have to admit that."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Elise looks around the grass field, it really was empty, cold and she thought that it could start snowing at any moment now.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Even if you were to break up with Levi, he will be in pain but he will pull through as long as he can see you, as long as he knows you are fine," it was one of the things she hated about Maria. That she had Levi's unconditional love. But she had to use that against the brunette. Love can either heal you or broke you. If Levi was broken then she will have the opportunity to manipulate him at her will.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"That's why you are going to write him a letter, saying that you don't love him and that you will be with Nicholas," Elise says as she looks down at Maria again. Wow, the woman was broken. She remembered a time when the brunette was full of life and even had some bravery.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Now all of that was gone. All because she was afraid of a man.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Because betrayal is the fastest way to hate someone ... trust is broken ... and no matter what, it will never be the same," Elise couldn't help it but really enjoy the pathetic look on Maria's face. "Whatever happens from now on ... It doesn't matter ... I have already won!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Please ..." Maria had tears in her eyes. She couldn't stop them. She felt like she could die at any second, her hands began to tremble, she began to sweat even when it was freezing. She was having a panic attack but Nicholas wasn't here, nor Levi ... She was alone. "Please ... I don't want to see him, I don't want him to touch me, please don't."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She was having flashbacks of that day ... Of the day that ruined her life. "Please, please ... stop, it hurts."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Anyone else would have felt bad and pity for the brunette but Elise could careless.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"And don't even think about divorce, it's not going to happen," Elise looks down at Maria with disgust. "Both parties need to consent for that to happen and I am sure Mr. Ackerman won't want to let go of his wife."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Now that she had finished, it should be good to show some mercy for the brunette. She didn't want her to go crazy ... at least not now.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Don't worry, I won't leave you on the streets," Elise says. "I'll give you a house, I'll make sure to keep an eye on you and your friends can visit you ... You should be happy! After all, you will have your happy ending with Nicholas! It's ok, you can tell him about this, it's not like he can do much either."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Elise looks down at the brunette who still seems to be trapped in a trance. She had curled up in a small ball, murmuring things to herself. Maybe she would faint, maybe she would die. The beautiful woman didn't know, but one thing she was sure of was that Maria was a strong woman, she will pull through this one.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Come on, Levi wouldn't want to see you like this," Elise bends down to give Maria a small path of her back. "Now go back to being yourself and go to Levi, he must be waiting for you ... You should leave as soon as you can."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But Maria wasn't responding.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Oh, for all my goddess," Elise sighs in disappointment, and rolls her eyes in annoyance as she says, "Pathetic."</em>
</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>"I never knew who the man was ... Maria never wanted to talk about it and I even think she blocked that memory. She never told me how he looked like nor anything of that matter."</p><p>Levi stood quiet as he felt his heart had stopped beating. For a moment, nothing existed, not this world nor his life.</p><p>Maria had gone through all of this alone? All of that trauma, her pain, her tears ... He wasn't there. He couldn't protect her ... He failed and she was suffering the consequences.</p><p>"You told me once that you wished you were me," Nicholas says. "But honestly, I wish I was you ... After what happened to her, she had never been with any other man ... You were the first one."</p><p>"Do you have any idea how much trust she has in you? How safe she feels with you? At ease? At peace? Do you have any idea about the love she has for you? How important you are to her?" Nicholas's voice break as tears came out of his eyes. "Can you imagine ... Just how much she loves you? Do you understand that now?"</p><p>And just like that ... All of Levi's walls broke down. As if they were paper as if nothing had existed before. And there ... Levi found himself. His most pure and vulnerable form.</p><p>"I live with this never-ending guilt," Nicholas falls to his knees as Levi stood in front of him. "I hurt the person I love the most twice ... The only thing I wanted to do was to protect her but I have failed ... So please ... I beg you ... Help me find her."</p><p>Levi wanted to comfort the man, to tell him that the begging wasn't necessary. That it doesn't matter how long it takes he won't ever stop until he finds her. He needs to find her, Levi knew in that exact moment that there was no one, no one could ever replace the love he has for her.</p><p>She had given everything to him, her life, her mental stability, her trust, and love ... And he can't let all of that go. He can't let the person who has loved him the most go.</p><p>Of the person he loves.</p><p>Levi didn't believe in anything divine but at that moment he hoped there was something out there, anything. Anything that could hear his screams and prayers of desperation in the hopes of Maria's safety.</p><p>"There's no time to waste," Levi says. "Let's find her."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Levi decided to go by himself to look for Elise. He didn't think twice about getting a horse and going to her dorm. The only thing that will be complicated will be having some privacy. What could he say to her? It was very late at night, around 3 am and if he wasn't careful enough, her squad might start to suspect something. At this point it was better to keep everything on the low, Levi didn't know how Elise was going to react and the last thing he wanted was to do something that might trigger Elise.</p><p>A part of him still didn't believe it and if he was completely honest he didn't want to believe it.</p><p>But if he thought about it deeply, everything made sense. From her change of heart six months ago to the reason why Maria left.</p><p>Levi dismounted his horse with a small jump, he landed nicely on the ground. Walking in front of Elise's home, he was about to knock on the wooden door but the neigh of a horse interrupted his actions.</p><p>It wasn't his horse the one that neighs, Levi would have recognized it otherwise. He turns his head slowly, to find Elise softly galloping her horse towards him.</p><p>"You missed me already?" Elise smiles as she comes off from her horse, the moonlight shone on her hair that was in a beautiful ponytail. It was cold and although she wanted to go inside her home, she knew she wasn't doing that any time soon.</p><p>"Where were you?" Levi asks, he didn't know how he should start the conversation. He needed to be careful with his words and he hated that. He wished he could scream and ask her where Maria was.</p><p>"I think you already know that," Elise says as she walks closer to Levi. Her boots made a sound every time it touched the soil and snow on the ground. "Nicholas must have talked to you by now."</p><p>Levi lets out a heavy sigh as he tried to contain himself.</p><p>"Then just tell me what I need to know and I'll be on my way."</p><p>"You know that's not going to happen," Elise has a small smile on her face as she moves a strand of hair behind her ear. "I wonder what they are doing right now ... Mr. Alon must be having his fun with her."</p><p>At her words, Levi couldn't hold himself any longer. He was fast and with his strength, he picks Elise up by her shirt's collar. Elise had never seen Levi like that, so vexed with her, and if looks could kill she will be long dead. And even like that ... Elise wasn't scared of him.</p><p>"Elise, tell me where she is!" he screams at her, desperately.</p><p>"And if I don't what? What are you going to do?" Elise laughs a little as she places her hands oh Levi's. "A better question ... What can you do?"</p><p>She was right. What can he do? If Elise doesn't tell him what can he do? It's not like he can force her to say anything. If he is not careful enough, he didn't know what other things Elise might end up doing. He hated how unbothered she seems. It was as if she enjoyed it, seeing him in pain and hurt.</p><p>Levi lets her go and Elise's feet touch the ground. She lets out a heavy sigh as she was finally able to breathe properly.</p><p>"I can't do anything, if you don't tell me, then I'll have to find her myself ... someway or another," Levi's voice almost cracks, his eyes trembled at just the thought of what the brunette maybe going through right now.</p><p>"But I beg you ... I'll do anything ... If you had any love for me ... Any true love ... Please."</p><p>Elise had never seen Levi like that. She had seen many sides of him, his best and worst. But never like this. So, desperate, confused, hurt, lost. His dark blue eyes were becoming dull, his mouth had a frown and his forehead had wrinkles.</p><p>The air felt heavy between them and Elise just couldn't help but wonder ... Just why? Why can't Levi be like this for her too? Was there a moment in which he ever felt like that for her?</p><p>"Why?" Elise whispers. "Why could you never love me? Why couldn't it be me? The only thing I wanted was your love! That's it! Why can't you give your love to me?"</p><p>"You can't force me to love you!" Levi raised his voice but not too much. They were in front of Elise's house and he didn't want to wake up her squad. "But you know what? I think that maybe I could have ... these past six months you showed me a better version of yourself, you were kind and understanding ... but after this ... After what you have done ..."</p><p>Levi looks up at her bright blue eyes, there was no doubt in his words.</p><p>"Any type of love I had for you is gone."</p><p>He saw her face change, her eyes began to fill with tears, and her lips have an upside-down smile.</p><p>"How? How can't you love me when I am perfect?!" Elise yelled as she didn't care if someone heard them, she didn't care about anything but the man in front of her. "You love me, you just don't realize it because that fucking whore is manipulating you!"</p><p>"I don't love you because I fear you!" Levi says. "Now that I look back at it, even your friends, your squad ... they don't respect you, they fear you and I fear of what you can do to the people I love."</p><p>This moment Elise realized ... That her whole life was a lie. That no matter how much she tried ... that no matter how perfect she is ... She can't be loved. Love does not exist for her, it will be a sentiment that she will never be able to feel.</p><p>
  <em>"Remember, is better to be feared than to be loved."</em>
</p><p>"I'll tell you where she is," her posture changed, her tears had completely subsided and she looked at Levi with numb eyes. "But you have to do something for me ... You have to promise me you will have to do it."</p><p>Levi was hesitant, he knew that Elise was completely out of her mind. But at the moment he was so desperate that Levi would do anything to find Maria. He just wanted to see the brunette, to know that she is safe ... It was something his body and soul craved.</p><p>"What is it?" he asks.</p><p>It took a few minutes of explanation. Elise pronounced words that were gone as the cold wind pass. Levi couldn't believe her request, it was something he wasn't expecting. Something that will pain him to do, something he has to live with for the rest of his life.</p><p>But for Maria, he will do it. Maria sacrificed everything for him and now it was his turn.</p><p>"I'll do it when the time comes," Levi says as he takes a step closer to Elise, finally intimidating the beautiful woman. </p><p>"Now tell me ... Where is she?"</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Finally answers. What is going to happen now? I feel really bad for Maria she has being through so much. Next chapter we will see what happened to her. I don't want to write too much on this section as to prevent myself from writing spoilers lol</p><p>I have other things to reveal for the final chapter and that's as much as I can say for now lol.</p><p>Also, wow Elise kinda crazy right? Surprisingly enough, I enjoy writing her so much! She is a complex character so it's entertaining, but it's completely alright if you dislike her, she crazy after all. Especially after what she did to Maria. <br/>(I also enjoyed writing her point of view, so might I might write in first point of view for other characters as well)</p><p>I don't know, strangely enough I am not completely satisfied with this chapter maybe because we don't get to see a lot of Maria. <br/>But anyways, this chapter is shorter than usual, but it's ok! I kinda wanted to give you all an extra chapter for this week lol.</p><p>Thank you so much for reading and I hope you all are enjoying the last chapters of One Last Time.</p><p>3 more chapters left!</p><p>As always, I encourage you to comment and tell me your theories about the ending! What type of ending would you all like?</p><p>I already know how I want the ending but of course, things can change.</p><p>Anyways, thank you all for reading and see you next week!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. A cruel world</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong> <em>Maria</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>The world is cruel.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I just hate it when people don't do what they are supposed to be doing," Levi said. "Humanity doesn't need any more useless scumbags."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>His words hurt me but I didn't say anything.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sometimes reality hits and at some point, you have to realize ... You are not meant to do great things. I am not unique and probably will never be ... Sometimes, I wish I had other qualities that separate me from others. But truth is that I don't. Other times I feel like I am living a facade, others I feel like I am living just for the sake of it, and lastly ... I live with the hope that maybe one day I could do something great.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Maria, one day you will have kids and live a simple and comfortable life."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes and your brother one day will be a doctor or a scientist, he will help humanity!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>My parents meant good but why couldn't I be like my brother? It wasn't like the idea of living a simple life bothered me. It was more the thought of my life being reduced to just that.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nothing more, nothing less.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maybe that's why I prioritize other people's decisions over my own. I never saw my life as important and compare to my brother, my life meant nothing. He was the important one, the savior, the one with an important future. I know I sound bitter and even envious but for the longest time, I believed it. And even know, I still do.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I want to live my life, I don't want to do what they say!" Flagon said. "Maria, let's get out of here! I'll join the Survey Corps and you won't be forced into marriage!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maybe that's why I didn't hesitate to escape home with him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>To be honest, I was ok with the arranged marriage but after my brother convinced me ... I decided that whatever I was going to do with my life was less important than my brother's life.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That's probably the reason why I also became a tavern dancer ... because my dignity and morals meant less than my brother's bright future.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Stop acting liken a saint," Elise said. "Deep down, you wish you could be special like me ... Like us."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And when Flagon died I couldn't help it but feel that everything I went through ... Went to waste.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Elise was right ... I was terrible. I didn't help my brother succeeded out of the goodness in my heart. I didn't become a tavern dancer so he could live a modest life.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I did it because deep down I thought ... That by helping him, I would achieve something great. Be useful somewhat to humanity.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Be more than the simple life that was expected of me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maybe I deserved it. All of this ... Maybe if I didn't feel sorry for myself ... Maybe if I had put a little bit more of faith in myself ... If I hadn't been scared of joining the training program along with my brother.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I wouldn't be here ... Trapped in the four corners of hell.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Alright, spit it," Levi said as he took a seat next to Maria. "You are being distant and I want to know why."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria couldn't stop thinking about how someway or another, Levi always finds her. Even on the rooftop of their house.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I am sorry, I didn't notice," she said as she watched humanity's strongest soldier take a seat next to her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"And what are you doing here?" He said with an angry expression on his face. "You could fall and break a leg."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Doesn't matter," the brunette replied quickly, not giving too much thought to her words. This was one of the times in which Levi found himself in trouble.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Doesn't matter?" he asked as he tried to make eye contact with her but Maria was focused on looking at the stars above her. "If you break a leg then who is supposed to wash my clothes? I mean, I could do it but that's why you are here, aren't you?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>" ... Yes, I guess you are right."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was with her words the Levi realized that Maria wasn't listening to him. Or may she was and she was just accepting whatever he would say. Levi didn't like this and decided to take things further with the hope that he will get any kind of reaction from her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Also, if you break a leg we can't have sex for a while. I mean I guess we could but I would have to think about different positions ... Actually, never-mind it's not a bad idea-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Alright, I get it, Levi," Maria raised her voice as she finally turns to look at him. It was one of the few times in which she would snap at him but he didn't mind. "I am just here to clean, do chores, work, and open my legs for you."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A few seconds of silence passed, Levi wasn't saying or doing anything that matter. After all, he was well aware that everyone has bad days and he knew Maria had been there to presence his bad days too. Now it was his turn.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"But don't worry I won't stop," she added quickly, her voice sad and apologetic. "After all, it's my job and it's the only thing I can do so I don't become a scumbag for humanity."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"... Is this about what I said the other day?" Levi asked. "Because I didn't mean that for you."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No, well, yes ... I don't know," she made a pause as she felt the tiniest of cold run through her body. "It's just that ... I feel like ... No matter what I do ... I will never do something meaningful with my life ... I feel useless."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"At first, I thought I was ok with just helping those who can achieve greatness ... But after going outside walls ... After seeing all of those soldiers die ... I couldn't help but think ... That their deaths served more purpose than everything I can do with the rest of my life."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria hoped that she wasn't boring Levi with her stupid life crisis moments. She wished he didn't seem her be this weak because that wasn't helping her look good either. Hoping that she doesn't seem dramatic, she continued.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I am not helping because I want to ... I am helping because I think that's the only way it's going to give some meaning to my pathetic life," Maria felt the cold ceiling against her legs and she tried to hide her embarrassment and shame by looking away. "I am terrible ... Putting on others the responsibility of the meaning of my life ... Instead of doing something for myself ... But what can I do?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The wind moved across her long hair, her hair bangs moved away from her from time to time and she trembled a little. Unconsciously, Levi moved his body closer to hers in hopes that it will bring her some warmth.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I wish I could be strong like you, or smart like Hange ... but I can't even pick up two buckets of water without falling down and I am not good at reading nor writing," Maria said as she enjoyed how Levi moves his body closer to hers. "Fuck now that I think about it ... being a tavern dancer was the only thing I was good at ... Just showing my legs and move my ass ... But then again how is that good to humanity?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was moments like this ... In which Levi thought if he could fall in love more with the brunette. Was that even possible?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maybe love was something that knew no boundaries and right now he was still in the process of understanding it. He couldn't help but think just how vulnerable, real ... human, Maria was.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Levi had always thought of her as someone pure, good-hearted, even like an angel. Far from his reach, someone Levi did not deserve. But now, looking at her bad side, seeing that she indeed is capable of selfish feelings and actions ... It relieved him. Because she was at his reach, she was real, part of this world, and not just a hallucination from his mind in a pathetic try to keep him alive.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"And I don't want to be rude but ... I hate that sometimes ... That's the way you make me feel," Maria interrupted his thought, speaking directly from her heart.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I love you ... But sometimes you say things that make me think you only want my body and other times I feel so insignificant next to you. You are Captain Levi! Humanity's strongest soldier and I am just a house attendant ... tavern shit," Maria felt that she was bothering the man next to her. She felt ashamed for feeling the way she did but sometimes she just couldn't help it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"And it makes me wonder ... why me? Because I know for a fact you have been with better women ... You can be with anyone you want."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I am not special to humanity, to no one ... not even to you."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was comical to Levi that Maria felt that way. The mere thought of her not being worthy of him was ridiculous to him. Because Levi thought many times of how he is not worthy of Maria ... Just to find out that she felt the same about him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You are an idiot," Levi quickly replied.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Tell me something I don't know," Maria said and Levi rolled his eyes in annoyance. He turned his body to face the brunette. He placed a hand on her shoulder, it was a bit awkward but it worked to make her look at him in the eyes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No, I am being serious ... I mean, I guess you have some right in what you are saying," Levi said. "But you seem to forget that the world is not about who is special or who is not. There's nothing wrong with not being special ... It can either be a blessing or curse depending on how you see it."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria was quiet as Levi looked at her with such intensity that she thought she could melt at any second.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yeah, I am strong but honestly ... Even with all of this strength, I realized that I am just as useless as any other," his voice was soft, comforting and Maria didn't know he had this much power over her. "I couldn't protect my friends and I know that no matter what I do ... I can't do anything ... At the of the day, I can't control anything."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Nobody is asking you to be special, so don't force yourself to be. And besides ... Who the fuck cares if you are special?" Levi meant his words and even thought of holding her hand but he didn't know why he was finding himself shy at her presence. "You are special to other people ... You are special to me ... Isn't that enough for you?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You are also special to the kids you are helping ... If you ask me, you are doing more for humanity by helping them than the Survey Corps slaying titans for humanity," he tried to make her feel better. The only thing he could hope was that his words reach her heart. "The difference is that you are tackling problems that affect humanity directly but the Survey Corps? We don't know if we will ever get rid of the titans."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He lets out a sigh, trying to get a better hold of his feelings. Levi didn't know why but he found it difficult, looking at her for such a long period of time. He felt embarrassed and wanted to look away but knew that at the moment he couldn't.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I guess what I am trying to say ... Is that we can't control what happens. It doesn't matter if you are special or not ... Things are the way they are for a reason," Levi said as he kept his eyes on her. "So, don't pressure yourself and don't ever think you are not special because even if the world says otherwise ... You are special to me ... Always."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria wasn't completely satisfied and there were many things she can't accept. But the only thing she could do blindly was to trust Levi and if he thinks fondly of her, if he has such an outlook on life then she can accept that.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Maybe you are right," she said as she broke eye contact. She still felt bad but Levi being here made her feel better. Just his presence alone made her feel like she can overcome anything. Even her negative feelings, even feeling like worthless. To do the impossible.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Do you think we met for a reason?" It was a random and stupid question but at this point she felt at comfort with Levi, knowing that he won't judge her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Levi took a moment to look at the stars. He didn't know the answer to that. Truth was that he knew nothing about life nor the universe but ... As he looks at Maria, he couldn't help but feel that she was put on his path for a reason.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Maybe."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A few seconds passed and Levi hoped that Maria would turn around and kiss him. Now that he thinks about it, he wasn't one to initiate intimacy nor contact, it was her. These past days in which she had been distant was torture to him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"... What if I join the Survey Corps? As a soldier?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Now, that was something he didn't want to hear.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Not to be rude, but training usually starts at a young age, 3D maneuver skills are hard to master as it is and I think you are a bit old for that," Levi said as he looks at the stars, this scene was awfully familiar.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Well, why don't you train me? You are the best one! I am sure that you as my teacher, I'll be good!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"And why do you want to join?" he asked in hopes to make her realize that her idea was stupid.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"To give my life a little bit of meaning, I mean if I die at least my life would be worth something."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Did you even just heard what I said?" Levi asked, getting exalted at just the thought. "Besides, we are together now, don't you think you are being selfish? If you die I will be the one to live with that ... Do you want me to suffer?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria looks down and with a soft voice she says, "I just want to feel useful ... and I don't know why but the things I am doing now do not make me feel like my life has any meaning."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Levi couldn't tell exactly what she was feeling. He couldn't grasp the idea of wanting to have a meaningful life. He has been through so much and so much chaos that the only thing he wanted was to have a peaceful life.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He wanted to call her out on that, to tell her that there was just no way ... He couldn't just let her throw away her life.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I don't mind training you ... It's more the fact that I don't want you to join. You are important to me so ... I just want you to live a long happy life as much as you can and if you join the Survey Corps that won't be possible."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But then maybe ... It wasn't about fighting. It was about reaching an agreement. There was one stance ... Only one stance in which Levi would let Maria join the Survey Corps.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"But, I can train you. I guess in these days, it's good to know how to manage the 3D maneuver gear," he watched Maria's eyes shine a little and he just hoped that he will never see the day in which that shine goes away. "Let's make a deal ... If you train a lot ... If you prove to me that you have enough skills to survive outside the walls ... Then, I'll personally accept your request to join the Survey Corps." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"So, I have to become strong ... really strong right?" Maria gave it a thought. She knew that she was talking as if joining the Survey Corps was easy. An easy suicidal mission to give her life some meaning. That she wasn't thinking of Levi's wants but mostly of what her mind was telling her to do.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes, equally or stronger than me," he replied. Levi knew that he made it impossible for the brunette to ever do what she wanted. Because as of right now, he only knows of a person who could outmatch his skills. Levi had years of training and experience and Maria will never able to reach his level.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But even if that were to happen, it didn't matter. Because only the strong survive. And if she was the strongest, there was no way she could die.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was a win-win situation for him and for Maria not so much.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"That's gonna take a long time but ... I accept!" Maria says as she turns to look at Levi, the moonlight reflecting on her eyes that made her look fierce. "One day ... I'll be the one saving you Levi!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He lets out a small laugh with a smile and he couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed. The thought of Maria carrying him in her arms was comical but it was also ironic.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Because without knowing, Maria had already saved him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Fine, but now that we have come to an agreement," Levi says. "Can you give me attention now? It's getting frustrating."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Frustrating?" Maria asked as she smiled.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You haven't touched me, I need your attention, now." Levi got closer to her, and without thinking, he placed his head on her lap. It was a nice scene, Maria, the moon and the stars.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I didn't know you were so needy," Maria lets out a small giggle as she begins to caress Levi's hair. He was so beautiful and she would never get tired of looking at him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I literally drop tea in front of you so you could feel sorry for me and I could receive some type of attention."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The brunette laughs as she covers her mouth and Levi very much enjoyed that sound, more than any other. He wished things will stay like this ... Just like this was fine too.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Ah, you are irreparable ... But I love you like that."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I know," he says. "And you are there to pick up the broken the pieces."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Always."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The world is cruel but it's also beautiful.</em>
</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>After Maria got tired of screaming and crying ... There was no nothing else she could do but just live life like a doll. Trapped in a dollhouse she couldn't escape.</p><p>The first day was torture, seeing his face, him touching her skin. She couldn't help it but let tears roll down her face as they cut off her hair. The hair Levi and Nicholas loved so much, something she took care of deeply. Now her hair was down to her neck and she felt nothing but coldness.</p><p>Then her clothes were off and the torture began. With a heavy rope, the man would start whipping her back. Her screams would never be heard. Kicking, slapping, and spitting, nothing was of the sexual matter but everything had one single goal.</p><p>To humiliate her and break her soul. To completely wreck her spirit and maker her submissive to any request.</p><p>
  <em>"I won't touch you, I am too old for that," he said. "But I'll look for someone who will."</em>
</p><p>That was what he will say every day after finishing with the torture. And although Maria was thankful that he never touched her sexually, seeing his face made her relieve things she didn't want to remember.</p><p>Maria hasn't seen the sun in days, she doesn't know where she is nor how many days have passed. She only knows this wooden room, where her torture occurs.</p><p>"Hey sweetie, come with me."</p><p>This woman.</p><p>Maria doesn't know who she is but she will come often to visit her. Her long black hair, her pale skin, and black eyes. Her sweet voice was probably the only thing keeping Maria sane but even at that Maria had no hopes.</p><p>"You are bleeding a lot from your back," the unknown woman said. "Let me take care of the wounds ... He will come any minute now."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>"Are you sure you want to go alone with Nicholas?" Hange asked as she placed a hand on Levi's shoulder.</p><p>"Yes it's for the best, the underground city is dangerous as it is ... It's better if we alone," Levi sighs as he looks back at his squad, all of them had a worried face and it wasn't for less.</p><p>"I'll be fine," he says, he tried to smile at them but failed miserably. Levi could feel nothing but terror. But he still tried to look his best for his squad.</p><p>He turned around and found Erwin looking at him, the tall blond man stood tall on the corner of his home. He didn't look worried but angry.</p><p>"I am sorry I am not able to help you," Erwin says. "I wish there was another way."</p><p>"...Me too," Levi replied and they look at each other's eyes for a few seconds. Already saying everything they needed to say.</p><p>"Good luck and bring her back."</p><p>"I will."</p><p>Nicholas watched from afar. At the moment they were at Levi squad's home saying their goodbyes but he felt desperate to go. Hange had comforted him early too but if he was completely honest he just couldn't shake the anxiety off.</p><p>"If Nicholas and I don't come back in three days ... Don't look for us, look for Maria," Levi said as he turned to talk to all of his comrades. "Thank you all for everything ... We will bring her back no matter what."</p><p>Everyone gave him a reassuring smile and although he won't admit it, it did help him. Levi walked back to Hange while everyone went off to talk to Nicholas to try and motivate him a little.</p><p>"Hage, do you think you can do me a favor?"</p><p>This was strange for Hange, it was a few times in which Levi would ask her for a favor. If she could take a moment to think about those times, she can count those with one hand.</p><p>She nodded as she looks down at Levi. At her actions, Levi hands her out a paper, a small portrait drawing she knew very well.</p><p>"Can you take care of this for me?" Levi asks as he gives her his most valuable treasure at the moment.</p><p>Hange holds the drawing portrait delicately, knowing that it means a lot to Levi. It was starting to rip in half again and she thought of buying a small frame for it to prevent it from getting any more damage.</p><p>She couldn't help it but let out a small smile. In the portrait, Levi looks angry and annoyed while Maria looks relaxed and content, showing off their opposite personalities.</p><p>"I'll take care of it well, I promise," she said as she smiles at Levi one last time, she wasn't scared of his safety. She knew Levi was strong. What scared her was the things Levi might do when he sees Maria.</p><p>"We will wait for you."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Maria couldn't help but cry in desperation. She just knew what was going to happen, it was going to happen again. The pain, the suffering, and impotence.</p><p>The brunette trembled as she covered her body with the blankets of the bed. A white long nightgown only covered her body, a night candle next to her bed on top of a desk. The room was dirty as there was dust everywhere.</p><p>
  <em>"For everything sacred, just fuck the woman! You are getting old Kenny and at this rate, you will lose your chance to have children!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I don't want children and what you are doing is ridiculous!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Is the only way to save the Ackerman clan! If you don't want to raise them that's fine but you gotta have kids! We even brought you an older woman for you!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Ah, for fucks sakes fine but just leave me alone!"</em>
</p><p>Maria heard screaming from the other side of the door, clearly talking about her. Suddenly, she hears footsteps and her door is open.</p><p>A tall man with a hat and a coat steps in and closes the door behind him, locking it.</p><p>The brunette couldn't see his face clearly but she could take a guess that this man was around his 40s or early 50s. She wanted to scream but couldn't and she tried to cry but her eyes were already too dry.</p><p>The man took a few steps closer and Maria immediately began to tremble in fear.</p><p>"Don't worry, I won't touch you," he says as he lets out a heavy sigh. "Let's just pretend I did so my stupid cousin can get off my back."</p><p>The man takes a seat on the edge of the bed, his back facing Maria and now she couldn't see his face. Although she was still scared of him, she couldn't help but feel a bit relieved that the man had no intention of touching her.</p><p>"My cousin, Alon, is obsessed with saving the clan and he was reduced to this," he says. "I won't ask you to forgive him but to understand that he has seen the worst of humanity and well, we can't just stay good after that."</p><p>Maria couldn't comprehend neither want to understand. She just felt scared, terrified at just remembering the man's face. The one who abused her and even now torments her.</p><p>"How did you even ended up here?" the man asks but it was silent. It was understandable that the brunette didn't want to make a conversation. "Don't want to talk? I guess that's ok too."</p><p>The man was reluctant but it was awkward. He was supposed to be having sex with her but of course, he won't do that. However, to make this seem realistic, he had to stay in the room with her for at least an hour. And it was better to try and make conversation than to stay quiet.</p><p>"What's your name?"</p><p>"Maria," the brunette whispers. "Just Maria."</p><p>The man couldn't help but have a deja vu. The scene was strangely familiar. It feels like he has lived this before in a different stance.</p><p>"Got anyone important above ground, Maria?" he asks as he begins to pull out a cigarette from his brown coat.</p><p>Her mind quickly went over to her friends. Leah, Lisa who was expecting soon, the rest of the house attendants, Hange, Petra, Eld, Olou, Gunther, Elena, and mostly ... Levi. How she misses him. She wished she could see him. The only thing keeping her sane was her happy memories with him.</p><p>" ... Yes, but he most have forgotten me now," Maria says as she looks down at the bedsheets.</p><p>"A boyfriend?"</p><p>"Not anymore," Maria's voice changed to that of nostalgic and sad. "But it's ok ... I don't want him to see me like this and suffer even more."</p><p>Maria couldn't even begin to describe how humiliated and powerless she feels. Somehow or another, she felt like she deserved it. Like she was nothing ... Worthless.</p><p>"What's his name?" the man asks as he lights up his cigarette.</p><p>"Levi," Maria says. For a short moment, she could see that the man had stopped his actions.</p><p>"What's his last name?"</p><p>"He doesn't have one, he is Levi ... Just Levi."</p><p>It was quiet again and Maria could only see small clouds of smoke coming out of the man's mouth.</p><p>"How in the hell did he even get a woman like you?" that came out like a whisper and Maria wasn't capable of hearing anything at all.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Look I won't help you get out of here. I have other business to attend and if I am honest with you, I am old to be fighting against five young trained Ackermans," the man says as he tried to stay calm. He lowers his voice as he didn't want anyone to hear him. </p><p>"But you seem to be a smart woman ... It's impossible to escape the underground ... But with good money, you pay the people guarding the staircase to let you go up," he says. "And that money may or may not be hidden on a kitchen cabinet on this house."</p><p>The brunette had mixed feelings. One because she knew that this man was trying to help her, in his strange way. And second, because this man was related to the evil man who abused her.</p><p>"I don't know if I have the strength to fight," Maria replies as she remembers these last couple of days. The humiliation, the pain inflicted on her, starvation. The whipping on her back, the stingy feeling, and the scars on her back that she knows that won't disappear.</p><p>"I am tied to <em>him, </em>if I run away, he will look for me and him ... They will kill him," Maria says as she keeps looking at the man's back. "And look at what I have become... I am not who I used to be nor I can go back ... I have accepted my fate ... This is where I'll stay forever."</p><p>"You said that you didn't want Levi to see you like this," he says. "So why are you acting like a weakling? Don't you love him? Don't you want to see him again?"</p><p>The questions resonates in her head as she holds in tightly the bedsheets covering her body. She thought she couldn't cry anymore, that all tears were gone now. But she couldn't stop herself as she begins to remember Levi.</p><p>
  <em>"I like your hair."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Don't leave me."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Love me completely, only me."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Can I make love to you?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You make me happy."</em>
</p><p>Tears began to roll down her face as she couldn't believe it, even when they weren't together Levi was giving her the strength to keep going.</p><p>"The reason why things happen is because we are too weak to stop them," the man takes another smoke, never looking back at the woman on the bed. "The reason why you are here ... Is because you are weak."</p><p>"Your hands have never been tinted with blood ... Your humanity is what makes you weak, making you unable to kill ...If you want your freedom, if you want to change something ... You have to throw away your humanity," for a small moment, the man turns to look the woman behind him, tears on her eyes. And he wished that his words were resonating with her. "I bet if Levi sees you the way you are right now, he will suffer ... do you want to see him like that?"</p><p>Maria knew that this man was right and it will sadden Levi till no end to see her like this. Whether he had forgotten her or not, she knew that she had to keep going for him, for herself. To try and live again that short-lived happiness they had.</p><p>"No ... I don't want to cause him any more pain," the brunette says as she breathes big amounts of air. "I just want him to be happy, with or without me ... I want Levi to be happy."</p><p>The man lets out a sigh. He had to admit that although Levi grew up in a terrible situation, he was glad that he had someone looking out for him.</p><p>
  <em>"Damn kiddo ... I don't know how you did it ... But you sure are a lucky one."</em>
</p><p>"Then ... Do you know what you need to do?" he says as he finish his cigarette.</p><p>Maria cleared her tears, she felt motivated and her heart somewhat content at the memories of Levi. She just couldn't give up, not after Levi had taught her to always keep fighting, no matter what. Now it was the time to be strong.</p><p>"Yes ... I'll do it ... I'll fight," she says. Maria didn't know but the man in front of her smiled just a little.</p><p>The man turned to look at the brunette and their eyes met for a small second. Raven and caramel eyes, And just for a small moment, Maria felt that she had seen that look before ... On a man, she loves very much.</p><p>"Good, turn your suffering into hatred," He says as he saw that there was a change in the woman's eyes. No longer dead eyes but fiery ones.</p><p>"Now, can you tell me a little bit more about this Levi?"</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Maria didn't know why but the woman who often comes to visit her had helped her bathe and put on clothes. Something she missed deeply since she has been dirty and naked for a long time while being torture in the room.</p><p>Now she found herself in an unknown place, a dark room, a few candle lights, and mirrors. Some cheap makeup laid on the dirty ground and seven girls who look just like her. Some younger, other smaller and taller but everyone had the same dead look on their faces.</p><p>And if Maria knew better, she could tell that this wooden room was the backstage of a tavern. She had been in many but not as ugly as this one.</p><p>Usually, taverns had more lively girls, ones who had already accepted their fates. But these young girls were here against their will.</p><p>"Welcome to your new home ... for now."</p><p>Maria looked to her back, the woman who bathed Maria before had a smile on her face. Strangely enough, she didn't seem so scary. Although she didn't know her name, Maria was a little bit grateful to her.</p><p>"You were a tavern dancer correct? Why don't you help these girls by giving them a few tips?" the woman with raven hair said. "We need more customers and these girls are so shy they start crying whenever they see a man."</p><p>Suddenly, the beautiful woman with dark blue eyes places a hand on Maria's shoulder and that made the brunette jump a little.</p><p>"That girl over there," the woman says as she pointed at another young girl. Short blond hair, green eyes and she was so skinny Maria thought she could faint at any second. "She has been here the longest, if you have any questions just ask her."</p><p>Suddenly Maria feels a great force on her shoulders as the woman behind her makes her turn around to face her.</p><p>"I'll be back in two hours and these girls better be ready when we open the tavern or else ..." the woman gets closer to Maria's right ear and the brunette instantly shivers. "Well ... Let's just say that it will be fun taking off your fingernails."</p><p>The woman smiles as Maria stays quiet and just like that she leaves the room. It was dead quiet and Maria thought that maybe if she looks hard enough she could find something to kill herself with. But she walked over to the blond girl with hopes that at least she knows where they are before dying.</p><p>The blond girl sat on a chair, facing a mirror. Gently she played with the makeup in her hands as if she didn't know what to do with it. Maria walked closer to her and in her reflection, she could see the blond's green eyes. Anger filled them, which was good, it was better than seeing a dead look.</p><p>"Where are we?" Maria asked, her voice monotone.</p><p>The girl looks over at the mirror and quickly sees Maria. She gives her an angry look before looking at herself in the mirror again and takes a lips stick.</p><p>"Underground city, on the backstage of a tavern," she quickly replies. "We work for the Ackerman family ... Well, we try ... we are not the best as you can see."</p><p>Maria takes another quick look around, when women enter the world of taverns, they usually end up accepting their fates after a while. These girls looked young and if Maria dared to say, they all look like they didn't belong at all in the underground city. Especially with the nice dresses, they were wearing.</p><p>"All of you were kidnapped?" Maria asked as she looks back at the blond girl who has terribly applying makeup.</p><p>"Yes ... I was the first one ... Six months ago," she said. "Then others came along ... The Ackermans try to get as much money as they can from us ... They won't force us into prostitution because they are forcing us to sleep with them only."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>The blond girl rolls her eyes in annoyance as she turns around to face the brunette. "They are forcing us to sleep with the Ackerman men, you know their clan is dying so they are basically breeding with us like dogs so we can give them children, so their clan doesn't die."</p><p>The young girl had such hate in her voice and Maria couldn't say anything against it. She understood her anger because deep down Maria also felt impotent that she couldn't do anything.</p><p>"Two of our girls are already pregnant," the girls say. "And soon everyone will, even you ... You are lucky the Ackerman men are not here but once they come back they will take advantage of you ... just like they did with everyone."</p><p>Maria could see it, the pain, the anger, a feeling she was very familiar with.</p><p>"How many are there?"</p><p>The blond girl was surprised that Maria didn't seem to be bothered by her previous statement.</p><p>"Seven," she answers. "There is the eldest, Alon, he is the leader and the others are very protective of him. Then the second eldest, whose name I don't know ... He comes just once in a while he doesn't do anything important."</p><p>"Then the Ackerman group, there are five," the green-eyed girl looks at Maria with her badly done makeup and the brunette thought of fixing it soon. "Yona, the one came with you, she is mostly here. There's Lior, who hasn't come and you probably don't know her. Then the three disgusting men, Seth, Akim, and Shneur ... All of them are strong ... very strong."</p><p>Maria lets out a sigh, she knew this was going to be complicated and that if her plan was to be successful, she needed to make sacrifices. She also needed to plan carefully and get the girls motivated enough to try and convince them to escape.</p><p>"They come once in a while, sometimes they bring new girls ... But I think they will stay with us for a while," the girl says. "They come into the tavern, feeling all mighty with their 3d maneuver gear."</p><p>"Maneuver gear?" Maria suddenly got an idea. If she plays her cards well, she can bring everyone back to the surface safely.</p><p>"When do they come?"</p><p>"Why are you asking so many questions about them?" the blond girl raises her voice a little, getting the attention of the other girls. "Do you think this is funny? We all come from royal families, we don't want to be here! We did nothing wrong to be here! We already had enough and we don't need anyone coming here and make fun of us-"</p><p>"I just got a plan ... We are escaping from here, all of us," Maria says as she turns to look at the other young girls. Their eyes fixated on her.</p><p>"I promise you all ... I'll kill every single Ackerman ... and I'll free you all."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>
  <em>Maria woke up with dizziness, her eyes tried adjusting to the sunlight that came from the window. She was in an unknown room, in a bed that wasn't her own. She was about to panic but as soon as her eyes fixated on a familiar person, she calmed down.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Where am I?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You are at a-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"At the nursery, Captain Levi almost killed you," Leah interrupted humanity's strongest soldier, Commander Erwin next to her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria blinks many times as to try and focus her eyes, she looks around the room to find Levi sitting next to her bed. Erwin and Leah just stood in front of her bed.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Slowly, her memories began to go back to her. They were doing self-defense training on the flower fields when she had hit her head. She felt dizzy and had told Levi about it but he said that it was normal for the body to feel dizzy when put under pressure. After, they practiced with the 3D maneuver gear and then ... What happened?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"We were training on the forest with the maneuver gear," Levi said, his voice quiet. "You passed out while doing a turn and I took you here."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Maria, he is going to end up killing you! I honestly don't know what were you thinking when you-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"It was an accident," Maria interrupted Leah. "It can happen to anyone."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes, anyone who is a soldier, you are not," Leah says as she places a hand on her forehead. Maria knew that her friend was just really worried about her. "You are a lady Maria and it's time you find someone who will treat you like one."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Oh, and yes, she doesn't like Levi.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Not only that, but Levi knows better than to give equipment to civilians," Erwin says, taking sides with Leah. "Especially the 3D maneuver gear, which should not be given to any untrained civilian."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"With all due respect sir," the brunette sat on her bed, feeling a little bit dizzy. "I would appreciate it if you let this go ... Why don't you and Leah go to the back of the cafeteria and make out like you two always do?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It went silent in which Leah and Erwin were left speechless, Levi only raised an eyebrow at his blond friend and gave a small smirk at Maria.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You and I will talk later on, miss," Leah turns around to face Erwin and she gives him an angry look at which he lets out a sigh and follows her to the exit.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Once they left, Maria turns to look at Levi who had gone back to his usual monotone self.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Thank you for taking me to the nursery but it really wasn't necessary, I am good now so-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I think your friend is right," Levi says as he sat on the chair next to her, looking away from the brunette. "I should be treating you more delicately."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Don't feel bad, this was eventually going to happen, right?" Maria says as she turns her body a little to take a better look at him. Wow, even when he was sulking he was very attractive. "You said that the stronger I get, the harder it was going to become right? That means we are making progress."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"It's not only in training ... I've realized that I am very rough with you in other stances too," Levi keeps looking out the window, without realizing that Maria had a small blush on her face. "After we make love ... I sometimes see that I leave bruises on your body ... Too many."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"But, I don't mind ... They are usually not visible so-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"But I do ... Your body is mine and I should treat it better," this time Levi turns to face Maria who still covered her body with the bed's sheets.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was quiet for a couple of seconds and they only look at each other's eyes. Maria looks down at her hands as she played with her thumbs.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"It's my body and I know what I do with it," she says quietly as she waits for an answer, the waiting was slowly killing her with anxiety.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I didn't say it wasn't, I said your body is mine and I should take care of it," he says. "You can do whatever you want with your body but I still need to take care of it."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria felt her heart flutter. She couldn't believe that she felt like a 15-year-old falling in love, but how couldn't she? When Levi was so open like this ... She just couldn't help but fall in love more with him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I should take care of you too," the brunette says. "When you come back from training and work ... I should give you a massage if you want to ... Your body is mine too."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>At her words, Levi stands from his seat and takes a seat on her bed. Facing Maria, he pats her head before moving down and playing with the tips of her brown hair. He really loved everything about her, but her brown hair was something that he always found beautiful. It was like strings of silk, a brown caramel like the sweets that he could only taste once in a lifetime. However, he wished that Maria will last him a lifetime ... forever.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes ... Please take care of me," Levi says. "I'll take care of you, always."</em>
</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Levi didn't know why he remembered that right now. Maybe because it was ironic, stupid even and he couldn't believe it. He told her that he was going to take care of her always and he felt powerless that he couldn't do anything ... In the end, it was like everything else ... He couldn't do a damn thing.</p><p>Nicholas and he were on a prairie schooner carriage, on their way to a place Levi used to know very well. There were small bumps on the road but Nicholas tried his best to make the ride smooth by making the horse move around the rocks of the road.</p><p>"You are taking this quite well, I think," Levi says out loud as he preferred not to be left alone with his thoughts.</p><p>"I had a few mental breakdowns the night before," Nicholas responded, he lets out a heavy sigh that created a small cloud of heat. It was cold and it was slowly snowing. "I think I can say the same thing about you."</p><p>"I am not one to show my emotions often, I always think that it's better to have a calm mind," Levi says as he places his hands together to share the heat. "I was also one to not sleep but Maria changed that ... But now I don't think I'll ever be able to sleep again."</p><p>"Me either ... Just the mere thought ... just the thought that he might be doing something to her."</p><p>"Don't even say it ... You need to stay calm," Levi says. "And remember there's not only one ... There's five of them who are very well trained, but we also don't know what they are capable of. So, our plan is simple ... Look for Maria and take her back. Only fight when it's necessary."</p><p>Nicholas was quiet as if he was in deep thought. "I'll kill the bastard if the chance is given ... that's all I have to say.</p><p>Silence, only snow falling to the ground slowly. The carriage's wheels making an impact against the cold snow and ground, the trees becoming heavier and more predominant as they entered the forest.</p><p>It was strange and awkward between the two but there was nothing they could do about it ... Just talk to each other.</p><p>"I am sorry ... For everything," Levi says as he interrupted the silence.</p><p>"Back then, when I first met you ... I lied saying that I didn't know Maria," Levi added. "If it weren't for that, maybe you could have been with her since the beginning and we wouldn't be in this situation."</p><p>Nicholas lets out a small sarcastic laugh as he keeps his hands on the horse's reins.</p><p>"I doubt it ... If Maria wanted to be with me, she would have told me. But she was honest with me since the beginning about her not loving me anymore."</p><p>The redhead gives a quick look to the raven-haired man, their eyes met for a quick second and Nicholas turns back to look at the road.</p><p>"You are not a bad man Captain ... I just think that you are not the right one for her."</p><p>Levi looks straight at the road too, knowing that they were close to their destination. Probably around 15 more minutes to go and although he wasn't a talkative one, he preferred to talk and have his mind off things.</p><p>"Yes, I think I understand that now," Levi says. "And if I am honest with you ... I think I knew before too ... That we weren't meant to be together."</p><p>"I was selfish ... I was just a man who wanted Maria all to himself because she made me happy," Levi remembers the day when Nicholas and he were talking on their way to his house. The redhead telling him about his tragic love story with the brunette. "I never stopped to think that she also deserved her happiness ... But, now all I can think of is that I want her to live a long happy life with or without me."</p><p>Nicholas's mind didn't want to go there but instead, he decided to change the topic by asking him a question. Something he has been wondering about.</p><p>"What did you do to make Elise tell you where Maria is?"</p><p>"I promised her something," Levi responded. "And when the times comes, I'll do it."</p><p>His mind began to wonder and remember the memories he had with Maria. He wished he could see her smile once again, but tragically he was scared that it may never happen again. No, he couldn't think like that.</p><p>"All I care for is seeing Maria, from now on ... I'll dedicate myself to protecting her ... now and forever."</p><p>It was quiet for a few seconds, the snow began to decorate the trees and pines around them. It was starting to get colder and colder by the second but both men were well protected with their coats.</p><p>"... I used to be like that too ... When Maria was raped, I swore to myself that I would never leave her," Nicholas interrupted the silence.</p><p>"You know I think I've realized that ... You are to Maria what she is to me ... She is one of the reasons why I wake up every day... my hope," Levi says and Nicholas was surprised by the words of the Captain. He didn't know he could be this open. "You were there when she needed you the must didn't you? Taking care of her, making sure she was safe ... You two have a special bond, something I will never have with her."</p><p>Nicholas didn't know why but he also felt like talking and maybe he could finally take off things from his chest ... Tragically, talking too much was one of his negative traits.</p><p>"Yeah, I guess you are right but I broke that bond when the Military police found me conspiring against the king."</p><p>Levi didn't want to think too much about it but he was very perceptive and Nicholas was aware of this.</p><p>"... I thought you said that you were falsely accused of treason against the Garrisons."</p><p>It was quiet again and Nicholas turns to look at Levi. Their dark blue eyes met and for a moment Levi recognized it. That look, those eyes filled with desperation, hate and nothing ... Just like his own eyes.</p><p>"Levi ... Who do you think the real villain is?"</p><p>Levi was quiet. </p><p>"If you ask me ... I think it's the upperclassmen, the royal families," Nicholas adds. "If they were to spend more resources on the Survey Corps, we would have already found out the truth about the titans. But no, they go expend their riches in frivolous things."</p><p>Levi didn't make a sound as he waited for the tall man to finish.</p><p>"It's a thing that's been going on for years, everyone is starting to see it, me, you, Erwin-"</p><p>"Erwin?" Levi cuts him off, surprised that he hears the Commander's name on this moment.</p><p>"There are many things you don't know Levi ... Do you really think that the house attendants just ended up at the Survey Corps by coincidence?" Nicholas asked as he turns to face the road again, a non-existent road. "That they were brought to prevent pregnancy in female soldiers?"</p><p>"Do you think that me, a criminal, was accepted into the Survey Corps just like that?" it was funny for Nicholas because he also couldn't believe the things he was saying. But it was the truth and he was tired of hiding it.</p><p>"Without someone on the inside? Someone convincing previous Commander Keith Shadis to let me in?"</p><p>"Not all of the tavern dancers know but we needed to keep them on the lookout and keep them quiet ... After all, we will hop from tavern to tavern, talking about our coup d'e tat."</p><p>Nicholas knew that he must not be making any sense and he was surprised that Levi hasn't stopped him to make questions or beat him up.</p><p>"We were close to executing it but a tavern owner was caught by the Military Police and he admitted that we were holding meetings there," Nicholas says as the galloping of the horses became stronger.</p><p>"Erwin's was always in the shadows, never coming to meetings but we knew we had his support. I always went to the meetings and the owner mentioned names ... and I was one of them."</p><p>Levi tried to control himself, there were so many things he wanted to ask. And he was trying hard enough not to scream at Nicholas and make him tell him everything. He wasn't one for necessary drama but he felt very lied to at the moment.</p><p>"Four years later, after Nile became Commander of the Military Police, Erwin convinced him to let me go ... under the condition that I joined the Survey Corps and the he most keep an eye on me at all times."</p><p>After Nicholas said that, Levi's mind went back to when he first met Maria. The night he was in her room, talking about how she ended up at the Survey Corps.</p><p>
  <em>"And then my boss was found to be conspiring against the king. The tavern was closed by the Military Police, we were left without a job and that's when the Survey Corps came looking for us."</em>
</p><p>"I don't believe you," Levi finally speaks up, he placed a hand on his forehead as he softly massages it. "You are telling me ... that you left the woman you love, the woman who suffered for you, the woman you promised not to leave ... You left her ... to go into a war you don't even know you were going to win?"</p><p>Levi couldn't comprehend, Nicholas proclaims about loving Maria. About doing anything for her ... But he couldn't stay out of a coup d'e tat for her sake? It was dangerous and he was a smart man. He must have known that there was a possibility of him being taken away from Maria.</p><p>"You can be many things but I don't see you as one to break a promise ... you must have a really good reason to leave."</p><p>And at that moment, Levi saw it. Terror in his eyes, a different kind. One that he hasn't experience. Nicholas's dark blue eyes trembles as his hands began to shake, the reins he is holding are sightly moving as well.</p><p>But his eyes ... Levi just didn't know why ... But he had seen those eyes before ... in himself.</p><p>Levi was speechless and it took a few seconds for him to be able to speak.</p><p>"... Nicholas ... just ... who are you?"</p><p>Suddenly, Nicholas makes the horses come to a stop.</p><p>"... Isn't that the hole you were talking about?" Nicholas changes the subject and Levi was quick to react to his surroundings. There was no time to think about this right now ... The only thing that matters was to bring Maria back.</p><p>Levi looks over to the front of the horses and he saw that it was definitely the ground hole he was looking for.</p><p>"Yes, this hole will take us straight to the underground city," Levi says as he hops down from the carriage's seat. "Before putting on the 3D maneuver gear, let's check it out."</p><p>Nicholas follows him closely as he watches Levi walk towards the hole. It was very large and deep, it was a guaranteed death if one was to fall from that height.</p><p>Levi had a few flashbacks from the time when he, Furlan, and Isabell came here to take some sunlight. To liberate that little bird Isabell had saved.</p><p>"Why can't we just take the normal staircase to the underground city?" Nicholas asks as his eyes were still fixated on the dark hole underneath him.</p><p>"I have a lot of enemies down there, it's better if no one sees me enter," Levi says as he stands up. "We got to wear our jackets and hoodies to protect our identities as much as we can."</p><p>"I have some face masks we can wear," Nicholas added.</p><p>"Let's use that at night time, on day time it will just cause more suspicion," Levi lets out a sigh as he watches Nicholas stand up. He really was a tall man, one that could intimidate anyone, but not him.</p><p>Their eyes met for one last time, knowing that there was no turning back now. Their plan was simple, look for Maria and take her back. No matter the cost, with no consideration of their own lives.</p><p>"Are you ready?" Levi asks and Nicholas nods, his eyes were fiery and more confident.</p><p>Nicholas took a small moment to remember the brunette. This wasn't about who Maria chooses after this. It was a matter of seeing her again, her smile, to bring back the Maria he loves very much. There were many things he regrets not doing, many lies he has kept a secret. Maybe, after all of this is done ... Maybe he could sit back and relax. And just enjoy her company altogether.</p><p>Nicholas couldn't believe ... That he was able to love to this point. Maybe he knew why, there was a reason why he was so madly in love with her. But that didn't matter, nothing mattered but her.</p><p>Maybe he could say all the things he is been wanting to say. It does hurt, the thought of Maria being with Levi, but it didn't matter. All of this time he has spent with her, he has realized ... Just how much he loves her.</p><p>Her face, her body, the way she would whistle when she cooks. The way she smells like lavender, the way she would smile whenever he would talk about Levi. When she would blush whenever she would think about him.</p><p>He had realized that he is in love with Maria and the way she is completely in love with Levi.</p><p>Even that with that side of her ... Nicholas couldn't get enough.</p><p>"Let's bring her back."</p><p>And if there's anything more Nicholas wished for at the moment was to tell Maria he loves her. To hear her laugh, to see her smile and he promised himself that he will do it, he will see the day in which Maria was completely and utterly happy.</p><p>And that was a promise he was planning to keep forever.</p><p>Levi felt a bit uneasy about the situation but he knew that there was no force on this world that it's going to make him change his mind. He knew he was strong but he just didn't know the limit to his strength. Maybe today he will find out.</p><p>Maybe today he will be able to unleash all of his power on the man who hurt Maria. Nicholas wasn't the only one who wanted to kill the man. Although he was never one to promote killing, he still felt like the world was better off without some people.</p><p>He will try his best to control his anger but he made no promises.</p><p>However, he could make one promise today ... To bring back Maria, to protect her and to see her smile, even if it was one last time ... That's all he needed ... All he needed to keep going.</p><p>"Very well," Levi says. "Let's get going."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N: Two chapters left ... The next chapter is  technically the last chapter (Ch.20 is a epilogue) and this next chapter is giving me a bit of trouble since the pacing is difficult to figure out but it's nothing I can't handle. I can't wait for you all to read the next chapter when answers finally unfold.</p><p>Not a lot of romance for this one so I threw in some meaningful flashbacks between Levi and Maria. </p><p>Also, I am don't like to be too descriptive with the torture scenes in order to avoid any triggers from the readers. I want as many people to be able to read this comfortably. </p><p>I felt bad for Maria and the way she is being tortured but I am satisfied with her character development. From sweet Maria to strong Maria. Her character development is a bit more subtle at the beginning and it all build up to this point. Her development has to deal more with inner and outer strength about morals and beliefs. Levi's development was more emotional and had to deal with inner peace and coming in terms with life decisions and making peace with his past, present and future. And for Nicholas? ... Well, we will see. </p><p>There are so many things I want to say but I think I will save all of those words from when I write the last chapter.</p><p>I hope with all of my heart that you are enjoying my story or that you enjoyed something out of it.</p><p>Levi X OC stories are not popular and when I started publishing the chapters I thought no one will read but I am really happy with the comments and kudos I have received so far. I appreciate every single one of them!</p><p>Whatever happens in the end, I hope you enjoy it and you are there to read it!</p><p>Once again thank you! And remember, I always encourage comments of all kinds! They really encourage me to keep writing!</p><p>See you next week!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Always</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <em>Nicholas</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yeah, I've known Erwin Smith for a while, his dad used to be my teacher."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Whenever I look back at those days ...</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"We have his full support but he will be helping us in secret, we can't mention him unless necessary."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I can't stop thinking about how stupid I was.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sitting at a wooden table in a random tavern, this is how I mostly spend my weekends. Planing for a coup d'é tat because the murder and the rape of my mother still hunts me to this day.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Anything else I can help you with gentlemen?" the waitress asks as she gives us our drinks.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yeah, when are the tavern dancers gonna come out, and how much for them?" One of my friends ask and I rolled my eyes in annoyance.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"They will be out any minute, all tavern dancers have different prices and it depends on them whether they want to have intercourse with you or not."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I didn't know back then but today was important. Tonight, I will be meeting the woman who will change my life.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yo, Nicholas you need to calm down. Everything will be fine, why don't you get with a woman tonight?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I don't need a woman, what I need is-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>My friend pulls me closer to him as he puts his arm around my shoulders. "What about her?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>My eyes adverted to a young woman. Long brown beautiful hair, her caramel eyes shone as she walked by and her dark circles were a bit predominant but it didn't make her any less attractive.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She was pretty alright but I didn't come here to hook up with anyone.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I don't need a woman,"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Well, it's not like you would have any chance with her anyway," my friends says as the other men at the table laugh as well. "That's Maria, one of the virgin tavern dancers in here ... God, I would kill to have her thighs choke me."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sometimes men have a disgusting way of expressing about women and knowing the worst about them, it even made me angry to be part of the male community from time to time.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"If you are so interested in her, why don't you go talk to her?" I asked</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I've tried and she said no," my friend responded. "But I am sure Mr. Flaherty is smooth and good at convincing, aren't you? After all, that's how you've gotten us so far."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I looked over to the woman again as she began to take the stage. Slowly raising her skirt to show her beautiful legs and now I understood why my friend wanted to be smashed with her thighs because I wanted that too now.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And it wasn't even vulgar, her face was sexy and pleasing to look at. As if she was playing to be the last woman in the world. As if she knew how beautiful she is and she was hypnotizing me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And then I decided to do it. To get so drunk to get the confidence I needed because the truth is ... That I was never really able to talk to beautiful women.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And someway and another ... We ended up together. And now that I think about it, Maria has always been terrible about picking men.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>There were many reasons why I wanted to start a coup d'e tat. Mainly because the royal family was the reason why my mother was killed and raped in front of me. Maybe because it was that reason that my father was driven into madness. Maybe because of them ... I was alone.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I always pretended to never care for my job as to not have any unnecessary attention on me. And I didn't care for the consequences, I kept planning and planning. Not caring about my life nor what happens to it. I just knew I had to pull through the revolution no matter what.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But then she happened.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And I found myself trying a little harder at work. Wanting to go back home to taste Maria's wonderful cooking. Sleeping and waking up next to her. And little by little ... all that hate that I had built up over the years ... It began to matter less and less.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And then ... that happened.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When Maria was raped, when I saw her be so hurt and defenseless ... Something inside of me ... awoke.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I remember my mother telling me once about how my body worked and how I was special because of it. But I was too small to remember and I honestly didn't care back then.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Now that I think about it, maybe that was the same reason why I was so attached to her, maybe that was why I survived those years in prison.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But that didn't matter now.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>How could I let it go? I hated myself, I hated that I couldn't protect her and I hated all of this. Everything had to do with the royal family. Every single problem of my life had to due with a part of me that I didn't want to deal with.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Because I too was part of the royal family, I had royal blood whether I wanted or not.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>If I had only listened to Maria, if I had only not bought that opium from the Dietrich family ... Maria wouldn't have been abused and we wouldn't be here in this situation.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maybe right now we could have been living a normal life, living in a small house and taking care of our children.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But my hate was strong and I proceeded with the revolution.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And people talk too much, especially tavern owners. Especially Maria's boss.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And he was given then the choice of saying names or keeping his business and the answer was clear.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That's how I was thrown into prison. The day that I was separated from Maria, I missed seeing her in her white dress. Until this day I wonder ... Just how many hours did she wait for me? Was it raining? Did she cry?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And I couldn't ... I just can't even imagine her face.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Please at least let me write her something!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I remember begging on my knees to the Military Policeman to let me write her a letter. But people like me, people who were not free, had no rights. I was treated like hell and from the times I could steal ink and paper, it wouldn't matter. The secret letters I wrote her wouldn't matter because I couldn't send them.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But writing to her was the only thing keeping me sane.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Four years later, the tavern owner of the tavern Maria used to work at was finally proven to be conspiring against the king with us.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Changes were made on the Military Police and finally, Erwin Smith was able to help. He didn't go to see me when they freed me as to keep a low profile but he gladly accepted me into the Survey Corps.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Also, I was able to convince Commander Shadis to buy some tavern dancers," Erwin said as he sat on his office's desk. "I feel a little bad, the man would do anything to try and improve the quality of life of the soldiers and humanity."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Which tavern did you get them from?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"A few from town but I think the one you are interested in is The Golden tavern," Erwin says. " ... I am sorry it took me so long to take you out. Maria ... she is here, I don't know exactly where because I am not in charge of that section but if you look hard enough ..."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I'll find her," I said. "I'll see her again."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But she was in love with another man and I couldn't do anything about it. I was in love with the way she would smile when she talks about him. The way her eyes would sparkle whenever she saw him, the way she looked so happy whenever they were close.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And although it hurts me ... I didn't care.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>This was fine with me, I just wanted to be a part of her life. Of her happiness. As no more hate was left in my heart and only love for her overtook me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>This wasn't about me anymore but about Maria. This is not my story, I've accepted that a very long time ago ... That my life was unimportant. That I was never going to do anything meaningful and I could only hope that my death would be of some meaning to humanity or to her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I've lived a lot of things and I have discovered that it's better to not live for oneself but for others. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Because I've been happier being a slave to Maria's wishes than living for my own.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>We all need to be a slave to something or someone in order to survive in this world.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And she was it for me now ... and always.</em>
</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>It's been a long while since Levi visited the underground city. A place that he doesn't miss and has very few fond memories of it. He felt dirty just at the plain sight of the city. It was just as horrible as he remembers, people dying on the streets, houses falling down, the smell of drunk people everywhere and dust everywhere. Some buildings were nicer than others, the ones who owned taverns and bars were the only ones who could afford it. And of course, the people who did dirty jobs like he used to.</p><p>"Do you really think this is the best place to look for Maria?" Nicholas asks as takes a seat at a bar stand.</p><p>Levi knew that this seems ridiculous but if there was one place he could go to ask for information it was this place. He hates bars but he has made a couple of friends in the years he worked as a thief.</p><p>"Just trust me in this one," Levi says as he looks over to the bartender who walked in front of them cleaning a shot glass.</p><p>"What would you two gentlemen want?" the old man asks as he tries to get a look at their faces but it was difficult due that they were wearing a hoodie over their heads.</p><p>"Chuck, I want a shot of vodka," Levi says and at this, the bartender raises an eyebrow, surprised that someone knew his name</p><p>"On the rocks?"</p><p>"That depends, is it day time or night time?"</p><p>At that, the bartender couldn't believe it.</p><p>"Levi?" he asks as he bends down a little to try and look at his face and Levi looks at him in the eyes. "It's you! What are you doing here man?"</p><p>"You two know each other?" Nicholas asks, confused.</p><p>"Know each other? I saw this boy grow and become the best thief in the whole underground," Chuck says as he talks back to Nicholas. "He also helped my boys during tough times."</p><p>"But what happened? Last time I heard you got with the Survey Corps," Chuck pulls out a vodka bottle from underneath the bar counter and places two glass shots in front of Nicholas Levi.</p><p>"Well, we came looking for someone," Levi says as he watches the bartender pour him a drink. "Do you know anything about someone called Alon Ackerman?"</p><p>"Oh yes, he came to the underground not too long ago," Chuck says as he finished pouring the vodka on the glass shots. "He and the Ackerman group rule the entire underground ... The young Ackermans are very protective of Alon, he is old so I guess is understandable why they follow him everywhere."</p><p>"Where are they now?"</p><p>"Well, they come here once a week and stay for a couple of days, so they must be coming back sometime today," Chuck says.</p><p>"By any chance, do you know where Alon lives?" Nicholas asks this time as he drinks his shot as if it was water.</p><p>"Yes, they live two streets away from the tavern they own, I can draw you a map if you would like," Chuck smiles and Nicholas thanks him for the drink.</p><p>"Yes, that would be very much appreciated,"</p><p>"No problem, but be careful. You don't want to mess with the Ackermans," the bartender places the bottle of vodka underneath the counter. "I've seen them take down the biggest of guys with just their bare hands ... They are really strong."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>      They waited outside of the tavern until Levi recognized the figure. Alon was a short man, probably around the same height as Levi, wrinkled all over his face and his blue dark eyes showed no emotion whatsoever.</p><p>Nicholas and Levi put on their black face-masks that covered their mouths, cheeks, and nose, only their eyes visible. The hoodies protecting their head and faces. They kept a good distance between the old man and them. Levi knew the place very well, just a few things have changed since he last visited the underground city. It was only a few streets until they noticed Alon entering the commodity of his house.</p><p>From the shadows, Levi signals Nicholas to proceed and from a window, they notice that the man picked up a piece of paper from his dining table. His face monotone and had now a worried expression as his eyes trembled just a little.</p><p>Now that he was distracted, Levi and Nicholas looked at each other and without further ado, they walk around the house, walk towards the door and kick open the wooden door.</p><p>Thankfully, the door didn't break from Nichola's kick but the strong impact made Alon aware of his surroundings.</p><p>"You fucking bastards!" although Alon was an old man, he was still very strong and he was fast to pull out a knife from his coat's pocket. He aimed towards Nicholas but Levi stepped in while Nicholas closed the door behind him.</p><p>Alon was surprised by Levi's speed, as he quickly takes his wrist into his hand, twisting it and putting it behind his back. But Alon was fast too and he used his right leg to make Levi stumble.</p><p>Levi fell to the floor and made a mental note to learn that move next time.</p><p>"Seems like the Military Police finally found me," Alon says as he looks down at Levi, his eyes meeting for a second, and Alon hesitated. Just for the smallest of a second.</p><p>Before Levi could do anything, he sees how Nicholas takes down the old man with one punch from the back. Completely knocking him out. Alon was now on the wooden floor, his whole body immobile and eyes closed.</p><p>Levi stood from the floor as he eyed Nicholas, who had an apologetic look.</p><p>"You knocked him out idiot," Levi says as she bends over to look at the unconscious man. "Now, we won't know where Maria is until he wakes up."</p><p>"When I knock someone out, it usually takes around 15 minutes for someone to wake up," Nicholas replies as he looks at Alon with disgust. He looked like any other man, fragile and skinny. However, for his age, it seems like he was still pretty strong.</p><p>"We don't have time to waste, try to put him on the sofa, and let's see if we can wake him up," Levi walks over to the dining table while Nicholas follows orders. On the table, Levi notices the paper Alon was reading early, he gently picks it up and reads.</p><p>Nicholas placed Alon on the dusty sofa, the old man was not heavy at all. He was more surprised at the house's architecture. It was very simple and dark. Not even candlelights since the man didn't even have time to turn on some. But the light from the outside allowed Nicholas to see just the necessary. It was a very sad place, newspaper everywhere, unfinished cigarettes on the floor, and cans of food splatter around the couch. He was surprised that the house itself wasn't falling apart.</p><p>"Should we look around the house first?" Nicholas asks as he contains himself from just stabbing the man to death.</p><p>"It's not necessary, I know where she is," Levi says as he walks towards the redhead. He hands him out the paper he found on the table and Nicholas takes it reluctantly.</p><p>"What is this?" Nicholas says as he reads the paper out loud. "Meet me at the abandoned warehouse in front of the church?"</p><p>"It's written in Maria's handwriting," Levi says as he looks at the old man up and down. "Whatever her plan is ... She wants to see this man there."</p><p>"Do you know where this place is?"</p><p>"Yes, there's one close by that fits that description," Levi takes a few seconds to fix his thoughts. Anger slowly rising within him. At the moment, this old man looks so fragile, incapable of hurting anyone. Who could say that this man was a monster?</p><p>"Let's tie him up with a cord before leaving," Levi says. "And let's hurry up ... We need to get to Maria and fast."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>In the weeks she had stayed in the underground city, Maria learned many things. About the Ackerman group and how strong they were. About how they kept an abandoned warehouse full of 3D maneuver gears and tanks of gas to refill their equipment whenever they needed.</p><p>But now that wasn't the time to think about that, she will have plenty of time for that after she liberates the girls.</p><p>She had successfully sneaked out from the tavern during the night and go to the abandoned warehouse. All the Ackermans were really strong, but they were too cocky. They thought that they had broken everyone's spirit and scared them to death to the point that no-one will even try to escape. Therefore, they always left the tavern unwatched.</p><p>It was also the same for the warehouse. Everyone in the underground knew that the building was Ackerman property and no one dared to mess nor steal from them. Everything was left unguarded, making it easy for Maria to steal 3D maneuver gear equipment the day before.</p><p>After putting on the three-dimensional maneuver gear, Maria hurried up and liberated the royal girls from the tavern. They had to start early and be extremely quiet. Especially with the two pregnant girls. Everything went smoothly until they reached the stairway to go above ground.</p><p>"Alright, I'll knock out the two guards," Maria says as she turns to look at Emilia, the young blond girl with green eyes who met the first day at the tavern. "When you see that happen, I'll give you all a signal and you go."</p><p>They were hiding behind the walls of a small house, peeking out their heads once in a while.</p><p>"The Ackermans will get here any second and when they find out we are gone they will look for us," Emilia says thinking that all of this plan was crazy but still preferred to die trying.</p><p>"I have that covered, I left them a note at the tavern to meet me at the warehouse," Maria whispers as she checks on her 3D maneuver gear, making sure everything was ready before taking action. "I also left Alon a note, so they must meet me there first ... It will give you all enough time to escape, so don't worry ... I said I was going to kill them."</p><p>Maria lets out a sigh as she gives Emilia a small heavy black bag. "I stole this money from Alon, when you are above, get a carriage and take everyone away from here."</p><p>"What about you?" Emilia asks, her face filled with worry as if she already knew what was going to happen.</p><p>The brunette stood quiet as she watched her own hands tremble and with a slow movement, Maria clenches her fist as she smiles at the short-haired blond.</p><p>"We need to sacrifice something in order to win," Maria says. "Whatever that sacrifice is, I am going to pay it ... You all getting out of here ... That's our victory."</p><p>The brunette and blond embraced each other, it had only been a couple of weeks but they created a bond. All the other girls joined too as they encircled Maria to hug her, some of them even saying their prayers to her.</p><p>After a few seconds, they separated and Maria turned to look at Emilia one last time.</p><p>"Do you have the letter I gave you?" Maria asks.</p><p>"Yes, I promise I'll give it to Captain Levi as soon as I can," Emilia says as their eyes met.</p><p>"Thank you," Maria says as she lets out a heavy sigh and the other girls smile at her, giving her the space she needed to get going. "Alright, let's do this."</p><p>Activating her 3D maneuver gear, Maria flew above the small houses and buildings. Not wanting to get much attention but just enough so that the guards will look at her. Landing in front of them with a clean turn, Maria was surprised that she wasn't scared or maybe she was but she is too busy thinking about other matters to notice.</p><p>"Hello, gentlemen," Maria says as she moves her hips from side to side, accentuating her figure through the pants she was wearing. She hated pants, she wished she could wear a dress but she knew it will be difficult while using the 3D maneuver gear.</p><p>"You two look very lonely, would you like some company?" she asks as she noticed that men are captivated by her, just like she wanted.</p><p>"Aren't you that woman from the tavern?" One of the men asks as he completely disregarded the fact that she was wearing a 3D maneuver gear. They were thinking but not with the right head. "The one the Ackermans own?"</p><p>"Yes, they told me that you both have been really good to them and they sent me here to have a lovely night with you two," Maria was in front of the two men as she teased them by caressing both of their cheeks. "You won't reject ... right?"</p><p>"Of course not baby," one of the men was faster than the other and he placed one of his hands behind Maria's back, making her come closer to him.</p><p>This was Maria's cue as she picks up her knee and makes an impact with the man's groin, making him release her. With incredible speed, she picks up her sword's hand grip and knocks the man out and he falls to the ground. The other guard was luckier as with one punch in his face and he was out of the game. Both men laid unconscious on the dirt and that was when Maria turns her head, watching Emilia from afar peeking her head out from behind the walls of a house.</p><p>She signals them to come forward and quickly, all the girls were on her way to the stairway.</p><p>"Come on, hurry up," Maria says as she guides everyone up to the stairway. A certain relief washed her body the moment she watched the girls disappear one by one into the surface.</p><p>Finally, Emilia was the last one and before walking out she looks at Maria one last time. From down the stairs, Maria smiles at the blond and she watched her do the same before walking out to above the ground. Finally free.</p><p>Freedom.</p><p>Maria felt more confident now that the girls had successfully escaped but her job was not over yet. She looks back to the underground city, and then back to her 3D maneuver gear. She wasn't skilled, she only knew the basics and she was grateful to Levi that he had taken the time to teach her some tricks.</p><p>Now it was time to put them into action.</p><p>She activated her equipment and flew across the buildings, and houses. Making her way to the abandoned warehouse, ready to meet her destiny.</p><p>It was strange, she didn't feel scared. If she was being completely honest, she was more scared of failing her mission. But as she felt the wind touch her face, as she felt her short hair move along the movement of her body, feeling completely free. She thought that even for someone like her, this was a nice way to go.</p><p>Her last moments, won't be so bad after all.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Maria looks around the warehouse to make sure every single tank of gas is open. A terrible smell covered the inside of the entire warehouse where the Ackermans kept their gas tanks for their 3D maneuver gear equipment.</p><p>She also made sure she had the matchbox  on her pant's pocket, ready to use.</p><p>Now, it was only a matter of waiting.</p><p>The brunette wanted to take a deep breath but decided not to because the smell of gas was pretty strong. She looked straight to the door but she doubted that the Ackermans were going to use it. They will probably enter crashing through the windows, just to make an entrance.</p><p>Oh, but she was wrong.</p><p>The metal door was kicked open as Yona stepped in first. Her beautiful black hair was on a ponytail, her black eyes were intimidating but Maria could care less. Next to enter was Lior then Seth, Shneur, and Akim. They weren't wearing their 3D maneuver gears and they acted surprised as they noticed that Maria was indeed wearing their equipment. There was little light, no candlelights on the room, just the ones outside of the streets that illuminated the warehouse just a little through the windows.</p><p>"Very well, we are not here to play games," Akim, the leader of the group, and the oldest stepped in front. His dark eyes are just as strong and intimidating as the rest. "Just tell us where the girls are and we won't break all of your bones."</p><p>Maria stood quiet to buy some time and win a little bit of desperation between the group. Alon was still not here and that's what bothered the brunette.</p><p>"Look you bitch, we are going to find them either-or, so just tell us already so we can-"</p><p>"They've been gone for a while now ... You won't find them, ever again," Maria interrupted Lior. She could see it immediately, how her black eyes showed anger and frustration. Good.</p><p>"You fucking bitch-" Yona walked towards the brunette but Maria immediately stopped her in her tracks.</p><p>"I will think twice before touching me," Maria pulls out a small box of matches and takes out a match. She steps out of the shadows, her brown eyes confident, ablaze as if she was born ready for this moment. "You all are so angry that you haven't noticed the bad smell?"</p><p>The room went silent and none of the Ackermans dared to move.</p><p>"3D maneuver gear's gas is not dangerous in small quantities," Maria remembered that night she talked to Hange about titans. Although the woman got too excited, Maria listened to everything she said. The scientist even mentioned other facts about the equipment. "But, if the gas is put in large quantities in a room ... The gas becomes very flammable. And it just happens that I opened all the gas tanks in the warehouse ... And I have a match."</p><p>"You wouldn't dare, you would burn alive too you know that?" Seth, the youngest, was fast to speak. His voice trembled a little as it showed his inexperience.</p><p>"After all I went through, do you think that burning alive and dying sounds bad to me?" Maria's voice showed no speck of doubt and although the Ackermans had always seen her as weak, that  moment they were terrified.</p><p>"All of you are strong, everyone in here is so scared of you and at some point, I was too," Maria walked in closer to them this time, and although they wanted to back away, they couldn't. Maria was just talking to buy time because Alon wasn't here. But it seems like at this rate, she was going to have to light up the match without him. It didn't matter too much anyway, he was an old man. He will die any day.</p><p>"But I've realized something ... People who have nothing to lose are the strongest," Maria says. "All of you ... you took my life, my dignity, humiliated me and hurt me."</p><p>Maria watched their trembling eyes, hands that were about to pull out a knife to throw at her. There was no time to waste. The brunette looks down as she remembers the pain that was inflected in her these last weeks. The whipping on her back and body, the burning of her legs, the humiliation of having to eat like a dog, the tears that didn't stop and the scars in her body that will never disappear. How much she begged for them to stop, for the men to stop touching her. It was either sex or torture, that was the options offered to her. She picked torture every single time and with each time, it will get more painful.</p><p>But all of that ... She had to let go.</p><p>
  <em>"Goodbye everyone .... Levi ... I hope we can meet again in another life."</em>
</p><p>Maria looks up to them and their eyes meet.</p><p>"And I've come to realize... That because of that ... I am stronger than all of you."</p><p>It was only going to take a small movement, she moved her hand down along with the match. The match was about to make fast contact with her metal gas tank from her 3D maneuver gear, with the hope that it will light a spark.</p><p>But as she was about to do that, something or better say someone interrupted the moment.</p><p>Two dark figures entered the warehouse, breaking the windows in the process. The two of them wearing 3D maneuver gear equipment and landed on a perfect turn.</p><p>Their faces were covered with face-masks and their heads and hair covered by their coat's hoodies.</p><p>Yona took the moment of distraction to tackle down Maria to the floor, making her drop the matches. They began to fight but Maria knew that she was no match for Yona. The brunette was barely a 6-month amateur while Yona was a complete warrior.</p><p>The brunette felt her heart race as she felt Yona's body on top of her, preventing her from escaping. The woman pulls a switch knife out of her jacket's pocket and was about to stab the brunette but a strong force pushed her off Maria, making Yona drop her knife next to her.</p><p>"Maria, run!"</p><p>She recognized that voice. At first, Maria thought she was dreaming, that this must be some trick that her mind was playing. But then she saw them ... Dark blue eyes like the night sky. The eyes that she loved so much, the eyes that kept her alive, and wished to see every day when waking up.</p><p>"We will hold them back as much as we can! You run to the stairway and-"</p><p>This time it was Akim who had taken Levi by the neck and threw him across the small warehouse. He was a tall strong man and he was the leader of the Ackerman group for many reasons. The rest wasn't worried about the brunette, they knew that she was no longer a threat as the matches she had were no longer in her position. And whatever the reason it was that these people were here, she wouldn't hurt them.</p><p>"Maria! Go! Run!"</p><p>She recognized that voice too, Nichola's voice.</p><p>Maria watched him fight, this must be the first time she sees him fight like this. Nicholas made a backflip as he kicked Seth and Lior on the face. Both Ackerman backing away for a second but went back into battle quickly as they pulled out knives from their jacket's pockets.</p><p>The Ackerman's strength was teamwork. They perfectly knew what the other was thinking. Seth went in for a kick as he wanted to take down Nicholas but the redhead was fast too as he moved out of the way. However, Lior took the opportunity to strike Nicholas's face, making him bleed.</p><p>And from the back Shneur takes Nicholas by the arms, stopping him from escaping.</p><p>Nicholas turns his head to look at Maria who was still on the floor in shock. And suddenly, he feels his face being punched repetitively, blood starts coming out of his mouth and nose. He began to feel desperate and wanted to scream her name but couldn't.</p><p>Maria's eyes then adverted to Levi who was being picked up by Akim again. Akim's hands encircled Levi's neck, preventing him from breathing. Humanity's strongest soldier tries to break free but couldn't. Why was that? Because he wasn't thinking clearly? Because he was desperate to get to Maria? He didn't know but he had to think fast.</p><p>The brunette then turns around as she hears how Yona was starting to get her consciousness back. She had previously landed on a pile of gas thanks and had hit her head, but now her eyes were getting adjusted to the scene.</p><p>Maria had to act fast and she picks us Yona's knife from the floor and stands up.</p><p>The brunette took a moment to appreciate everything. The chaos, the absolute chaos.</p><p>Nicholas was getting beaten up by Lior and Seth while Shneur held him back. And Levi ... He was dying by Akim's hands.</p><p>Maria knew what needed to be done but her hands couldn't stop trembling. She was sure and confident of getting burned alive with everyone else because it will be quick. But this ... this was different, it was going to be slow and painful, for him. And although Maria hated the man, she was just scared. Very scared and she didn't know why.</p><p>
  <em>"Fight,"</em>
</p><p>Maria didn't know who it was, maybe she was starting to get crazy. Maybe she was already crazy because the voice that was talking to her was unknown to her.</p><p>
  <em>"If you win, you live. If you lose, you die. If you don't fight, you can't win."</em>
</p><p>Everything went in slow motion. Maria didn't know whose voice this was. Maybe her conscience, maybe a power of the universe, a god. But she felt assured, comforted, and even motivated by that man's voice.</p><p>
  <em>"Fight!"</em>
</p><p>Maria grabbed the knife with strength, the handle fitted her right hand perfectly. Her left hand grabbed her right hand as she begins to run across the warehouse. Her heart raced, sweat on her face and adrenaline in her heart.</p><p>And nobody expected it. How Maria's knife stabbed Akim's back abdomen. Right where his kidneys are, the pain is so great that it sends the whole body into shock, making the individual unable to scream.</p><p>Maria twisted her knife, savoring how life escaped from Akim's body as his strong hands open and drop Levi to the floor.</p><p>The whole room went silent and the only thing that could be heard was the blood dropping  from Akim's body and falling to the floor. How his knees fell and impacted the ground and his whole body fell lifeless in front of Maria.</p><p>The Ackermans were in shock and aghast.</p><p>And at this Nicholas took the initiative as he used the strength he had left to escape from Shneur's grip. He was fast and in the next second, he was next to Maria. Grabbing her by the waist and using his 3D maneuver gear, he flew out of the window where he came from.</p><p>Levi got the cue too as all the Ackermans were more focused on attending their leader than going after them, for now.</p><p>He follows Nicholas from behind as he watched Maria trying to escape his grip.</p><p>"Let me go! I can use the 3D maneuver gear by myself!" the brunette says as she activated her equipment and Nicholas lets her go. Now it was all three of them, flying above the buildings and houses.</p><p>"I appreciate you two coming but it wasn't necessary, I had everything under control-"</p><p>"You were going to get yourself killed!" Levi says as he interrupts Maria. He wanted nothing but hug her and be close to her but at the moment, he knew he couldn't think like that.</p><p>"That was the point!"</p><p>Caramel eyes and dark blue eyes met for the smallest of a second. There was so much they wanted to say to each other but they knew they couldn't. That there was no time.</p><p>"You all can fight as much as you want after this but right now we don't have the time," Nicholas turns his head back and from afar, he seems that the Ackermans were already with their 3D maneuver gears, chasing after them. "They are fast, they will get to us very soon ... Levi we are waiting for orders."</p><p>"You and Maria make a run for it, I'll hold them back as much as I can-"</p><p>"No, we are not leaving you here. They kill you," Nicholas says.</p><p>"Yes, besides ... I promised I was going to kill them ... If we don't they won't ever stop chasing us," Maria looks back to Levi with desperate eyes. "I made a promise and I had a plan but now that is ruined ... I am open to new ideas."</p><p>Levi hesitated. Not only because he knew now how strong the Ackermans were but because he knew that there was a small opportunity of getting out of this alive. If anyone was going to die today, it was going to be him and them. He couldn't put at risk Maria's well being nor the life of Nicholas. He had to fool them, to make them leave him. Someway or another he-</p><p>
  <em>"We are ready for orders boss!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Leave it to us big brother!"</em>
</p><p>And for a moment, for a very small moment ... It wasn't Nicholas nor Maria with him. But them, his friends who he loved very much. Smiling faces, just like the old times. They were always there with him when he needed it the most.</p><p>"Trust us, Levi!</p><p>Maria's voice brought him back to reality. Now he had a clear mind and he thought of something that just might work.</p><p>"Nicholas, you go back to Alon's house and bring him to the warehouse! Go running! We don't want anyone to follow you, only use your equipment when necessary!" Levi then turns to look at the brunette. "Maria, you will go to the right, I am sure two of the Ackermans will follow you! I'll go to the left and I'll distract the other two. Make sure they follow you back to the warehouse! We will meet in 20 minutes back at the warehouse!"</p><p>Both the redhead and brunette nodded in agreement, confidence in their eyes. All the three still flying above the buildings and streets, a few people from the ground looking at them pass by.</p><p>"And one last thing," Levi says as he turns his whole body to look at the two. "I prohibit you both to die."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Levi made sure that two of the Ackermans were following him closely but not enough to catch him. He was utterly impressed as he thought no other could have outmatched his skills until now.</p><p>He lands perfectly inside of the warehouse by using the broken windows they destroyed earlier. There he noticed that Nicholas was already there, he had successfully done his mission of bringing Alon here. The old man was awake now but he was tied down to a chair, impossible for him to escape. Now it was only a matter of Maria coming back.</p><p>"So, what is the plan?" Nicholas asks as he stands behind Alon.</p><p>"We follow Maria's plan," Levi says as he turns to look at Nicholas, not wanting to face Alon just yet. "From how they reacted earlier with their leader's death, I can tell that they don't know how to act independently."</p><p>"But they are smart enough to know that we are bringing them back to the warehouse for a trap," Levi says. "They wouldn't have come in but their first instinct will be to search for the old man but now that we have Alon, they don't have a choice but to come look for him here."</p><p>Levi looks around the floor of the warehouse and there he found the box of matches Maria had earlier. "It's not a perfect plan but ... As soon as they come, I'll lit up the match and hope I am fast enough to escape the fire."</p><p>The short man takes a few steps closer to Alon and he punches the man strong, but not as much as to leave the man unconscious. The blood came running through his nose and mouth and with a disgusted look, he begins to feel hate rise within him. This was the man who gave so much pain to Maria and he could not forgive nor forget.</p><p>Levi then takes off his black face-mask and reveals his face to Alon. He saw how the old man gasped a little and his dark blue eyes trembled in terror.</p><p>"Any last words before you are burned alive?" Levi asks as he places his face in front of the old man, intimidating him.</p><p>"Are you ... Kutchel's son?"</p><p>Levi felt his heart skip a beat the moment he heard his mother's name. He felt anger as he didn't want any bastard pronouncing his mother's name.</p><p>"You look exactly like her, Levi, isn't it? You have to be it," Alon takes soft breaths as it was getting harder to breathe. "I am sorry, I would have taken you in but Kenny never told me you existed until he found out you became Captain of the Survey Corps."</p><p>"Elise introduced us, remember? I wanted to say something but I thought it was better to stay quiet," Alon says as he sees that Levi had a blank expression. Nicholas on the back, listening to him. "But, why are you here?"</p><p>Levi stood quiet, he started to breathe heavily and he felt numb as if his soul began to leave his body.</p><p>"Don't tell me ... Is the woman I married ... Important to you?"</p><p>It was quiet, very quiet and for a short moment, Levi felt like throwing up.</p><p>"Oh god, I am sorry," Alon says. " ... But I don't regret anything."</p><p>Levi's face was filled with anger, his heart began to beat with adrenaline, and he flenched his fists so strongly he thought they will start bleeding. Giving Alon another punch on the face, but with greater force, he made sure the man lost some teeth.</p><p>"You fucking bastard, I am going to fucking kill you!"</p><p>"I did it to save my family! Or do you think I go around raping girls because I want to?!" Alon yells back at him and Levi knew that he couldn't kill him, not yet. He needed answers. "I used to take care of the opium business for the Dietrich family and when a man named Nicholas Flaherty refused to pay ... I was sent to rape his woman."</p><p>Nicholas listened to every word just as Levi did and he couldn't help it but have horrible memories of that day. The redhead takes off his facemask as at some point he also wanted to face the old man.</p><p>"I didn't want to! But then, the Dietrich family found out that me and my family were of the Ackerman clan," Alon says, screaming his words. "Mr. Dietrich was very clear ... Either I rape the girl ... Or he will send the Military Police to kill my family."</p><p>The room was silent and for a moment, time had stopped for them. Levi could feel his hands tremble but he didn't care.</p><p>"Do you think I fucking care?" Levi asks as his black hair covered his eyes. "That's not a fucking excuse, I won't pity you."</p><p>"I am not asking for forgiveness and honestly I don't care if I am going to hell," Alon says. "All you need to know ... Is that what I did was to save my family and what I am doing right now is to save my clan from extinction."</p><p>"How do you know my mother?" Levi asks, his voice deep, and this time his dark blue eyes meet Alon's but he stood quiet. "Tell me! How do you know her?! Am I ... Am I an Ackerman?"</p><p>Levi didn't want to believe it. He didn't want to believe that this was true. That this was happening. He just couldn't imagine being part of a family that caused Maria so much pain.</p><p>"You ... You are-"</p><p>But Alon never finished his sentence as Nicholas used a knife to make a deep clean cut on his neck. Blood left his neck and the old man was dead.</p><p>"Well, it seems like we won't ever know now," Nicholas says as his voice changes. It was deep and his blue eyes showed so much hate that it even intimidated Levi for the smallest of a second.</p><p>"Nicholas, what do you think you are-"</p><p>And with a great speed, Nicholas was fast to stab Levi, just right below his ribcage.</p><p>His speed surprised him and although Levi tried to push him away, he couldn't. It was as if he was hiding his real strength until now. When he fought him before, it wasn't an actual fight. It was just Levi hitting Nicholas and the redhead didn't put much of a fight.</p><p>But now, he was just seeing how strong he was.</p><p>Their dark blue eyes met for a second and it was right there and then that Levi knew.</p><p>That this was the end.</p><p>"There's not much time, Maria will be here any minute," Nicholas says as he stabs Levi deeper. "This will not kill you, it will only leave you unconscious. Maria will panic and she is going to want to take you out of here as soon as possible."</p><p>Humanity's strongest soldier was speechless, the room was silent and everything went in slow motion. They kept looking at each other's eyes as Levi could feel little blood leave his body.</p><p>"Before, you asked me why would I leave the woman I love to join a revolution," Nicholas lets out a sigh as he losses the grip of his knife. "I joined the revolution because the Military Police raped and killed my mother."</p><p>"You see, my father was part of the royal families and in one of his visits to the underground city, he met my mother ... She was a prostitute," Nicholas knew that there was no time that Levi was about to lose consciousness very soon but he had to try.</p><p>"They were in love but of course he couldn't be seen with a prostitute, so he hid us in a house in the mountains," Nicholas could feel how Levi tried to push him away but it was impossible, at the moment he was stronger than him. "And one day, the Military Police found us and they killed my mother, right in front of me. My dad saved me in time but even so, nothing was the same."</p><p>Nicholas could hear the sounds of a 3D maneuver gear coming close, Maria was almost here.</p><p>"My dad filled my heart with hate and eventually I couldn't do anything but join the revolution," the redhead saw how Levi lets go of the knife that was stabbing him and that he drops the box of matches to the floor.</p><p>"My name is Nicholas Flaherty because my dad gave me his last name," Nicholas says. "But my mother ... was an Ackerman."</p><p>Levi gasped a little as he felt that his eyes were closing. He didn't feel like he was dying but just losing consciousness. But he was able to hear every single word, and finally, he knew why their eyes always looked so similar.</p><p>"Now you know ... that I just can't live thinking that my family, this family I didn't know I had ... Did something so horrible to the woman I love," Nicholas takes the knife out of Levi and he instantly pressed his hands against the wound as to prevent the blood from coming out.</p><p>"I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt, I don't know if you are an Ackerman or not ... But what I do know is that you love Maria," Nicholas whispers, his voice clear. "But I am asking you ... Please, never say a word to her about this and serve her as her protector ... Don't be involved with her romantically ... Just stay away and watch her be happy."</p><p>But Nicholas didn't get a response, instead, he received silence and that made him feel desperate.</p><p>"Promise me, Levi!" Nicholas screams at him as he places his strong hands on Levi's shoulders. "If you want to save Maria, you have to keep your distance, you have to listen to Erwin, you have to kill the beast titan no matter what! Promise me you won't hesitate-"</p><p>Nicholas stops mid-sentence because this wasn't him speaking. This wasn't what he wanted to say, these are not his words. But he couldn't think about that right now.</p><p>"Just promise ... That you will stay away and watch her be happy for me, ok?"</p><p>His voice trembles as Levi was mustering the strength he needed to respond.</p><p>"I promise," Levi says and with that, he gets a comforting smile from Nicholas.</p><p>"Good," Nicholas says. "Now rest."</p><p>The redhead gives Levi one punch on the face, knocking him out. Making Levi fall to his arms, he watches how a figure enters through the windows of the warehouse. Just in time.</p><p>"Nicholas! What happened?" Maria screams as she watched that Levi was unconscious in Nicholas's arms. She felt panic wash over her body as she sees that he wasn't moving.</p><p>"Levi got injured during a fight," Nicholas says as he turns to look at the woman he loves one last time. "You need to take him out of here ... Keep going straight from here and when you reach a dead-end you will turn to your left ... keep going straight until you find a cave hole. Use your 3D maneuver gear to go above the ground. There will be a carriage outside."</p><p>"What about you? I won't leave you, the Ackermans will get here any second," Maria felt her heart beat fast as Nicholas begins to place Levi's unconscious body on Maria's back. "If they find you here, they won't hesitate to kill you-"</p><p>"Hey, I am strong," Nicholas says as he smiles at her, caressing her new short hair. "And don't worry, I have a plan."</p><p>Nicholas looks back at where Levi had dropped the box of matches. That's all he needed, everything he needed to finish this hell.</p><p>Maria wanted to retaliate, to say no to his request but she couldn't. Not when Levi was unconscious and bleeding on her back. The only thing that she could do was to trust Nicholas. She didn't know what it was about him, but he felt different. Maybe because she wasn't seen him in weeks. They knew each other very well, they could say anything just by looking at each other.</p><p>And his eyes were sad ... but also filled with hope.</p><p>"I don't have anything to give you for you to return to me later," Maria says. "So, I am just going to have to trust you that you won't leave me again."</p><p>"Hey, I promised you that I was never going to leave you right?" Nicholas pats her head and smiles at her, comforting his lover. "So trust me, I'll go back to you ... No matter what."</p><p>Maria proceeds to walk towards the window where she came from, already preparing to leave. The lights from the outside reflected on her face and Nicholas couldn't help but feel a little bit of pride. This wasn't his Maria anymore, not the same woman he met four years ago. Maria was strong, she was fearless and everyone should be scared of the woman she had become.</p><p>"Remember ... Your promise to me," Maria says not knowing that this was going to be her last time with the man she used to love. "You always come back, don't you?"</p><p>Nicholas smiles one last time, happy to know that this is the last memory Maria was going to have of him.</p><p>"Always."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/n: Nicholas ... goodbye. You were a sweet and strong man. <br/>Not a lot of romance for this chapter but a lot of development. Also, this chapter was full on action scenes which is not my forte. So, I apologize if the scenes are not great lol.</p><p>I want to save my comments for next week's chapter aka the epilogue. The final FINAL chapter. Now that this tragedy has come to an end ... what waits for Maria and Levi's future? How has this affected their relationship? We will see about that next week. I plan to make the next chapter a bit long so be ready with a cup of tea while reading it. I'll also have a play list of songs that I think it will match with the chapter.</p><p>Once again thank you so much for reading and remember, I encourage comments of all kind!</p><p>It's sad that One Last Time is coming to an end soon with the next chapter but I hope to give a conclusion you all will love. I want to especially thank the people who take the time to comment, honestly thank you so much! </p><p>See you next week!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Epilogue: One Last Time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b> <em>Levi</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <em>"Um hello ... My name is Maria and I am your new designated house attendant."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>There was nothing particular that was interesting about this woman.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And to say the least, I had no interest in her whatsoever. After all, she came in with her muddy dress, dirtying the floors I just mopped. At that moment I thought that if she turned out to be useless, I would just throw her outside.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Please ... Don't make me do this."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>If there's anything I hate more in this world besides dirty floors, it has to be women crying. I fucking hate it, especially when they make you feel like it's your fault.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But at that moment, she looked so defenseless and scared that I just knew I won't be able to throw her out of the house even if I wanted to. Especially when she looked at me with her brown tired eyes that always looked like she was about to cry.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I dislike her already and it's been 15 minutes since we met.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I don't know why but her presence annoyed me and made me angry.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Like, why does she have to make the tea so good? Why does she take extra time ironing my clothes? Why does she stay up late sewing up the torn fabric of my shirts? It's not like I was ever going to know.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She even made an extra bowl of white rice for me because she knew I like it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Tsk, I hated it. Even when she will stay up the whole night with me. I would work on my paperwork while she stayed silent next to me, sewing.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Fuck you, Maria.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Because you made me feel things, I did not want to feel.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Like that day when we were alone and I found her cooking breakfast in the clothes I lent her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And she wasn't even showing any skin. She was wearing my brown baggy pants and a white shirt that I used to wear back on the underground. But in the kitchen there were windows. The sunlight landed on her body, going straight to the white fabric of the clothes. I could see her bare back and her curves appeared so beautiful to me. It's not something I see very often since most of the naked women I've seen had a very well built body.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Oh, good morning! Would you like something for breakfast?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I remember that day ... I tried so hard not to look at her breasts. It's not like I could see much anyway because her hair covered it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maybe it was that she looked so comfortable, so content and at peace that made her very pleasing to look at.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I hated her ... because my clothes will never look as good on me as they do on her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>At that moment I really thought of just giving all of my clothes to her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Also, her fucking smell. She smells exactly like lavender. Maria actually told me once that she likes to always carry with her pieces of lavender on her dresses and even washes her clothes with it. She even takes baths with it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>What a fucking coincidence, right? That the smell of lavender reduces stress and anxiety, my two main characteristics.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maybe that's why I always found it pleasing being next to her, be closer to her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And little by little ... the less I care about her presence in the house.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And I even will let her drag me around from time to time.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Like the time she made me stand up for two hours for a fucking portrait drawing. I don't know why I didn't walk out the minute I couldn't feel my legs maybe because she looked so relaxed playing the part of a sweet wife.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And I, a strong-minded husband who will protect her. Maybe it was the fact that I was never going to be able to feel like this ever again. Feeling the need of having to protect someone and I liked it. It was superficial but I liked how people looked at us, I like pretending to have a normal life. For a short moment, I was a normal 28-year-old man who walked hand in hand with his wife, doing groceries while the kids were at school.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was a stupid fantasy but for a short moment, I like having a normal and peaceful life with Maria.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>So, we played husband and wife for a while.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And I don't even think she was aware that we were.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was just me in my head, thinking about stupid fantasies.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I was attracted to her, I knew that much. But, it wasn't anything major. She was just a pretty woman with who I would have like to have sex. That was it and I thought I was pretty good at hiding what I wanted.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But she noticed.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>How I looked at her chest once in a while. How I pretended there was something on her shoulder and try to take it off just so I could touch her skin. Or how I would ask her to eat with us at the dining table just so she could sit next to me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I was so stupid, doing all of these things when I knew nothing was going to happen. Things that I thought she wasn't going to notice but-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Come on ask ... and I promise that my answer won't give us anything to regret about ... I promise I won't regret my decision."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Would you like to sleep with me?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And now that I think about it that intimate night we shared, really changed everything.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Because although we didn't have sex, we were intimate on a different level. Our bodies were close to each other, sharing the same heat. Our faces close and I could see every single centimeter of her face. The small wrinkles she had when she smiled, how were eyes became sleepy and how her voice was soft and gentle and at that moment I thought</em>
</p><p>
  <em>... That there couldn't be anything better than this.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>What started as a sexual attraction became something else.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Because that's when the fantasies started.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And it was fucking stupid, I know it is. But sometimes, I just needed some escape from reality. A small fantasy, a small hope that after this hell ends ... I will get to leave a peaceful life even if I don't deserve it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And I could have fantasized about anyone ... But Maria just seemed to be indicated to play housewife in my perfect world of stupid fantasies.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I didn't even need to have a wife, but Maria pampered me too much and I began to like the idea of having someone taking care of me and loving me unconditionally.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Of course, it was never going to happen ... But it wouldn't hurt to fantasize ... right?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Right?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But I think now I know why it was wrong ... because in my dreams and most inner desires ... Maria was there. Always there.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She was starting to become my fantasy and desire.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But she became more than that.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I thought that after having sex, this feeling inside of me would stop. But it didn't, it just re-filled it with more desire and want.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And I thought maybe I hadn't done it right the first time. Maybe I needed to do it again. And just to make sure I should it again and again ... and again.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And she let me do it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>All the times I wanted it, she was there willing to make love. And as we did it again and again ... I found out that every time we made love ... the more I loved her.</em>
</p><p><em>Sometimes I would be scared of my body. In random time</em>s, <em>I would get just an impulse of wanting to see her, to know that she was safe.</em></p><p>
  <em>I think that started ever since that day that I saw her getting harassed by that soldier.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But it doesn't matter now.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Because my body wants her just as much as my soul does.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I just couldn't get enough of her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Every morning she would wake up a little early to cook just so I could take some lunch to work. Or how she will sew my name into my clothes. How she will let me sleep on her bed, hugging her, even when she will get sweaty, she will sleep in my chest comfortably.</em>
</p><p><em>She will take time to cut my hair and fuck, before I would never let anyone touch my hair but now I would even break a few bones. Because this wasn't my hair anymore, it was Maria's. She was so delicate when </em><em>she </em><em>would cut it as if it was her own hair. I ju</em>st c<em>ouldn't dare to think of ruining it or letting anyone touch what Maria had created.</em></p><p>
  <em>Fuck.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Fuck. Fuck and fuck.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria had become everything to me. She had done it, she had made a reality every single one of my fantasies. Except for the one where she is a beautiful pregnant mother but that could wait.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Now that I had lived my fantasies, now that I knew what happiness was ... How could I let it go? How can I let go of the best thing that was happened to me?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>There are so many things ... So many things I want to say, like how I love the way she takes care of me like a baby when I am sick. How much I love the way she ruffles my hair before going to sleep. I love rubbing her feet when she is tired and how she massages my back when I am feeling down.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The 'I love you's' when I would do something random, like mopping the floors or cleaning my knives.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I love her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And now that was gone.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>.</p><p>
  <b>Five Years later</b>
</p><p>
  <em>Year 850</em>
</p><p>For a moment it seemed like time had stopped until the carriage moved uncontrollably. It was usual to find rocks and bumps on the road but this time the carriage made such a commotion that it made all the passengers inside hit their heads with the top part of the wheeled vehicle.</p><p>It wasn't raining, it was a very nice day with clear skies as if the gods were smiling down at them and it made the passenger's mood a little bit better.</p><p>"We haven't seen Eren since the day of his trial," Armin says as he talks to no one in particular, just his group of friends who were paying attention to the scenery. "Good thing we got permission to see him on the old Survey Corp's facility."</p><p>"We should thank Captain Levi for letting us visit, I know that since we found out Eren is a titan, meeting with him has been difficult," Connie adds as he looks at Sasha who nods at his comment. "I am even surprised that they let all of us come."</p><p>"Well, I think you should thank Ms. Maria instead, she was the one who convinced Captain Levi to let us stay,"</p><p>Armin turns his head to find the brunette looking outside the carriage, invested in nature. Seeing that she was still daydreaming and that she didn't hear him, Armin called her name again.</p><p>"Are you alright, Ms. Maria?"</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>Galloping their horses as they passed through the forest, Levi could be doing something better but instead, he had to watch a 15-year-old.</p><p>Eren Jeager could transform into a titan and although Levi did not trust him at all he had to learn to get along with him. <br/>
A lot had been going on lately and Levi couldn't wait to just go to the old castle where Eren, his team, and he will be relocated.</p><p>"Do we really have to be relocated here?" Oluo says as he moves his horse to galop next to Eren. "Why can't we just put the boy in a cell and come visit him once in a while?"</p><p>"Hange needs the space for her experiments," Petra says as she rolls her eyes. "And stop acting like the Captain!"</p><p>Eren looks from side to side, a bit confused. He didn't know how to interact with Levi's squad and if he was being honest he would have preferred to stay back with his friends.</p><p>"I hope Maria is there already, do you think she has cooked something for us?" Gunther asks this time, tragically this morning he didn't have breakfast and has been wanting to eat Maria's cooking.</p><p>"Hey, Maria is not our house attendant anymore. She doesn't have to cook anything for us," Eld says as he bumps into the conversation as Eren felt more overwhelmed. "But knowing her I am sure she has already done something for us."</p><p>"Ah, I am so hungry. I hope she made pasta."</p><p>Eren drifted into his thoughts as he saw that everyone was just interested in the things they would want to eat. Suddenly, he feels the eyes of someone on him. He turns to look back and there he found Levi's killer eyes on him.</p><p>The titan shifter gulped his own saliva as he turns his head back to look at the road in front of him.</p><p>"Why does it look like Captain Levi wants to kill me?" Eren whispered more to himself but the sharp ears of Eld heard him loud and clear.</p><p>"He won't do anything as long as you do as we say," Eld says.</p><p>"Oh and stay away from Maria," Gunther adds. "The Captain doesn't trust just anyone getting close to her, so just be aware of that."</p><p>"Oh yes, especially that," Petra says.</p><p>Everyone nods as they let out a small laugh. Eren on the other hand was confused about the situation. Maria was like a big sister, even like a second mother to him and his friends that grew up with him. After all, she was the one looking after them when they lived on the refugee back at Trost district and even went to visit them once in a while after they joined the training program.</p><p>" ... Are Maria and the Captain in a relationship?"</p><p>"Oh, we are finally here!"</p><p>Everyone disregarded Eren's question as they felt relieved to see the old castle in the picture. It was pretty big and Eren thought he would never be able to sleep in one of these. But of course, it's not like he was going to sleep in a nice room. Instead, he will be sleeping in the dungeon to prevent him from transforming.</p><p>He dismounted his horse as his feet touched the ground. The others followed as well and they were quick to place their horses on the small stable in front of the house.</p><p>Levi and his squad entered the castle, they were surprised to see that the main room was clean and if they didn't know better, they could hear voices coming from the kitchen. Almost running to it as they could smell and almost taste the food that someone was making.</p><p>"Oh! Everyone, Captain Levi's squad is here!"</p><p>Armin, Mikasa, Connie, Sasha, and Jean were in the kitchen cooking what seemed to be soup. They were also cleaning around but the moment everyone stepped into the kitchen, they stopped what they were doing and saluted the veterans.</p><p>"It's not necessary," Petra said as a small blushed appeared on her face, and everyone relaxed their position.</p><p>"Why are you all here?" Levi asks as he steps in front, he looked around the room to see if he could find the brunette but didn't.</p><p>"Miss Maria told us we could come to see Eren for a while, sir," Armin responds quietly, a little bit scared of the short man. "But of course she told us to clean first."</p><p>Levi didn't mind, he thought that it was better to have more soldiers to watch over Eren. But there were a few problems. One, that his team was more than enough to watch the kid. Second, all of these soldiers were kids and friends with Eren. He needed to keep their eyes on them in case they plan something.</p><p>"Fine, but there are a few rules you all need to follow as long you are in here," Levi walks around the kitchen, seeing their not so bad cleaning techniques. "First, you all need to clean everything that you make dirty. Two, not talking to Eren in private, have someone of us with you at all times. Third, you must do as I say and Eren,"</p><p>Levi turns around and Eren had a surprised look, a bit nervous that the Captain was talking directly at him.</p><p>"Do not stay alone with Maria, if I see any sign, any intention that you might hurt her ... I'll cut your hands off," Levi says. "They don't matter anyway, right? They will grow."</p><p>While Mikasa was being held back by Armin to stop her from fighting the Captain; a figure appears carrying two buckets of water with her hands.</p><p>"Come on Levi, don't give the kids too much trouble," Maria says as she enters the kitchen through the backdoor. Her now long brown hair was in a ponytail and although she hated pants, she was now wearing the Survey Corps uniform.</p><p>She wasn't a soldier but just worked in the Human Resources Department of the Survey Corps as well that she maintained working with kids and refugees. Especially the ones affected by the recent breakthrough in Trost District.</p><p>Even after five years of learning under him ... Levi still did not accept her as a soldier for the Survey Corps.</p><p>"They are helping as much as they can for the feast tonight," Maria says as she easily places the buckets of water on the floor. "Don't worry, I have a lot of white rice and tea for you."</p><p>"And where do you think we are going to get the money to buy food for a feast?" Levi asks as he takes a few steps closer to the brunette.</p><p>"I got it covered, I sold a couple of dresses recently," Maria says as she walks past Levi and heads towards Eren who was in front of Levi's squad. "We should celebrate that Eren is no longer on a prison cell."</p><p>Everyone waits in silence as they look at each other. Levi's squad rested assured knowing what the result of this is. Meanwhile, the new recruits were hoping for the best.</p><p>"I don't know, I don't think it's proper," Levi says as he looks up to Maria who had turned around and smiled at him.</p><p>"Please?" she asks as she looks at him in the eyes. Caramel eyes and dark blue eyes met and Levi wonders just how long can he resist.</p><p>"I'll make you as much white rice and tea as you want," Maria says and Levi knew that it didn't matter what things she will say, his answer will always be yes.</p><p>He just couldn't resist any favor she asks. If he was honest, he just wanted to see how many seconds can he stare at her eyes without bending the knee to her.</p><p>Levi lets out a sigh as his friends smile at each other and the others just looked at the two amused.</p><p>"Fine."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>It was a great dinner, although there wasn't a great variety, everyone enjoyed it. It was quiet at first as Levi's squad and Eren's friends did not talk to each other but when alcohol came into place, everyone felt relieved.</p><p>Maria did not want the young soldiers to drink, knowing that at a young age it was easy to lose control. But of course, it was Eld and Gunther who convinced and sneaked the drinks to the rest.</p><p>And now, the dinner table had gone quiet. Maria and Levi had carried the young ones to different rooms in the castle and now they were cleaning the table.</p><p>Levi watched Maria stumble a little but was fast to recover her balance. She blinked a couple of times to keep her eyes open.</p><p>"Are you alright?" Levi asks as he takes a few steps closer to her. Immediately, Maria walks a few steps back. Lately, she is been doing this a lot, trying to stay as far as possible from him.</p><p>"I am fine, I think I am still a little tipsy," Maria walks back to the kitchen and Levi follows closely. </p><p>As soon as they got there, the brunette places the dirty plates on the sink. Letting out a sigh, she gets a rope with soap and began to softly caress the dirty plates. Taking off the leftover food.</p><p>"Just go to sleep, we can wash this in the morning," Levi says as he stands next to her and he hated that she instantly moved her body away from him.</p><p>"If there's a thing I've learned from living with you for five years is that you hate dirty plates," Maria says, a sleepy smile on her face. "You can go-ahead and go to sleep, I'll stay here-"</p><p>Finally, Levi had enough for today and just wanted some type of contact or attention coming from her. Just like Levi always does. He picks her up bridal style, and although Maria was used to Levi doing this kind of thing, she still couldn't help being embarrassed about it.</p><p>"Let's get you to bed," Levi says as he enters the dining room, it was very illuminated with all the candles around the room.</p><p>"If I am going to sleep, then I would like to go back home on my horse," Maria says as she tries to break free from Levi's stronghold.</p><p>"It's the middle of the night, it's dangerous if you go alone and besides no one is there," Levi really wanted to keep on holding her and wanted to do the stupidest of things to keep having a conversation with her.</p><p>"I still prefer to sleep in the storage room," Maria says. "... You know I don't like sleeping alone in new places."</p><p>Maria makes a little jump as she was finally able to escape Levi's arms. The brunette takes a few steps away, she appreciated the gesture but she knew it was better this way.</p><p>Levi knew that this was his moment, that he needed to take a risk once in a while.</p><p>"... Why don't you sleep with-"</p><p>"With us!"</p><p>The two look up to see Sasha on the stairs, she had an apologetic smile. Levi rolled his eyes in annoyance, he was about to ask Maria if she wanted to sleep with him but that went to waste now.</p><p>"Thank you, Sasha, I'll be there in a second," Maria responds as Sasha begins to walk down the stairs.</p><p>"Sorry, I was just going to get a glass of water," and with running steps, Sasha disappears into the kitchen room. Leaving once again Maria and Levi alone.</p><p>They look at each other for a few seconds, not knowing how to part ways. It's been a couple of years and it was still a bit awkward between the two.</p><p>"Good night Captain," Maria says as she gives him a soft smile.</p><p>Levi takes a few seconds to appreciate her. She was still his Maria but he couldn't help but feel that she had built this strangely invisible wall around her.</p><p>One that he couldn't break.</p><p>"Good night,"</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>It was probably too soon but the moment that everyone went to sleep, Maria didn't hesitate to stand up from her bed and step out of the room. She made sure she was quiet as to not wake everyone but she really couldn't get any sleep and she hated how awfully dark the room she and the girls were in.</p><p>Taking small steps, she headed towards the main room where the door to exit the castle was visible. She was about to open the door but someone interrupted her act.</p><p>"Going somewhere?"</p><p>The brunette was about to scream but she stopped herself the moment she noticed that it was just Levi. There really was no escape from him and instead of explaining where she was going, she found it more suitable to explain why she was leaving.</p><p>"... The room was very dark and I didn't want to bother anyone by turning on a candlelight," Maria looks down to the floor, embarrassed to meet Levi's eyes. "The room was always dark ... and he will come unexpectedly, I never knew if it was daytime or night time ... I am sorry."</p><p>During these past five years, a lot of fo healing was done between the two. Especially for Maria who had suffered tremendously. Before it would be constant nightmares and although she was doing better now, she needed some commodities. They were simple things like always having a candle on at night or just sleeping next to someone.</p><p>"Do you want to sleep with me?" Levi asks, he knew it's been a long time since they slept together and not of the sexual act. Just enjoying sleeping next to each other. "We will keep a candle on and if you want I'll sleep on the floor."</p><p>Maria moves her head side to side, saying no to his request. It's not like she didn't want to, it's more like she knew that it wasn't right.</p><p>"What is wrong?" Levi takes a few steps closer to her, his eyes soften as he tried to look at her in the eyes. "You never had a problem with us sleeping in the same room or the same bed."</p><p>Maria lets out a sigh, knowing that this talk was overdue. "I know this sounds strange but ... I want you to stop being so nice to me."</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"Like today, you let me have the feast even when you didn't have to," Maria says, this time she finally looks up at him. "And don't get me wrong, I appreciate the things you do for me!"</p><p>Levi stood quiet as he tried to understand her words. He knew what was coming next and this was a talk he didn't want to have. So many things have been going on, so much chaos. He wished he could go back to the peaceful days they had a few years ago.</p><p>"But I am aware that you don't treat me like the rest of the soldiers or your friends ... I think the rest know it too ... and I am an idiot," Maria's voice was threatening to break but she kept calm. "The way you do things for me ... It makes me think you still feel something for me."</p><p>The candle lights in the chandelier illuminated the room, it was a cold and big place. They could hear the wood from the walls cracking, the soft noises of crickets coming from outside the room, filling the room with an awkward silence.</p><p>"But you already told me that you don't love me," Maria says quietly and although she tried to keep a strong facade, she knew that it could break at any second. "I know that the reason why you do these things is because you are still worried and care for me."</p><p>Maria watched Levi stay quiet as if he wanted her to continue.</p><p>She remembers the first months when they where back home after the accident. Levi would not stay away from her at all, he was very protective and Maria felt horrible for making him worry that much before. These recent years, things have been better. She was able to keep a distance from him but due to recent accidents, Levi has been acting just like before.</p><p>"And ever since we found out Eren is a titan, you have been awfully close to me."</p><p>"That's because I can't trust anyone," Levi says, he raised his voice a little as he tried to explain his reasons. "If Eren can turn into a titan then other people can. We need to stay on guard at all times."</p><p>"You are scared ... that what happened five years ago happens again, right?" Maria gulped, she knew she has said this a couple of times before. But she just couldn't help but feel guilty. "I am sorry Levi, if I only had been strong enough ... You wouldn't be stuck with me."</p><p>He has tried already, so many times. The things he could say to make her feel better. In actions that made her understand that what happened five years ago wasn't her fault. If anyone was to blame was him.</p><p>"You broke up with me but I know ... That you haven't slept with other women since then," Maria felt the heat go up to her cheeks as she looks at him. "And then, you act so nice towards me ... It makes me think that you ... that you still love me."</p><p>
  <em>"I do, and I am sorry I never told you."</em>
</p><p>Levi regretted never been able to tell her. And was grateful that Maria was able to pick up on his love language. He wasn't one to directly say things and she understood that. Levi was ready to say it five years ago, but a lot of things happened and their relationship wasn't really the main focus but it was their healing as individuals</p><p>After Maria came back home, it took them a year to start dating again.</p><p>"... But that's not possible, right? You told me that a few years ago," Maria still remembers that day, she knew how her heart broke the moment he said it. "The only reason why you are with me ... Its' because you feel that you have a responsibility towards me."</p><p>Maria shook her head lightly trying to get rid of the memory. She tried to have happy thoughts instead, of the time that they were happy together but she knew she couldn't hold onto them for long.</p><p>"So, I'll let you know that you are free to do as you please! Go be happy, go find someone else!" Maria tried to sound happy as she smiled at Levi. "It's been two years since you have been with a woman so why don't you look for one this weekend?"</p><p>But Levi couldn't even think about being with another woman who wasn't her.</p><p>"What about you?" Levi asks. "It's not like you are making things easier."</p><p>This time it was Maria's turn to listen. She knew what was he talking about.</p><p>"You still love me ... Even when I told you not to ... You can forget about that stupid promise you made," Levi was getting angry and he didn't even know why. "You don't have to love me anymore."</p><p>But his thoughts were begging him to say differently. He just didn't know how worse his life could be if Maria were to stop loving him. Would she leave him? Would she be as intimate and tender with someone else? He thought he could be happy by just seeing her be happy too. But he was selfish ... and it wasn't that Maria was ready to let go.</p><p>It was him ... He wasn't ready.</p><p>"I know ... but I can't help it ... sorry," Maria says. "But from now on, I'll try my best."</p><p>
  <em>"Please don't ... I know I shouldn't ask but ... Your love is all I have."</em>
</p><p>"Alright," Levi says. "But let me make something clear ... About treating you<em> 'too nice'</em> ... I'll try to keep my distance but I won't hesitate to step in if someone tries to harm you."</p><p>Maria nodded in agreement and after that, they called it a night.</p><p>And somehow, Levi convinced Maria to sleep in his room. Taking his bed while he slept on a chair. Not like he cared too much. It was nice seeing her sleep. Usually, they would have slept together but since they were trying to keep 'distance' they decided to do it like this.</p><p>He hated it and loved it at the same time.</p><p>He wouldn't mind seeing this every night but he knew that eventually, he would have to let all of this go. And there was nothing he could do about it.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Eren didn't know if he should ask or not but seeing how things were then maybe he should give it a try. It was a training day today and although he still wasn't permitted to interact with anyone without surveillance, he thought that it will be fine since squad leader Hange was here. </p><p>Everyone was eating lunch at the dining hall and although it was lively as always, the only difference was that Hange Zoe was now sitting at their table. She worked as Eren's <em>'babysitter'</em> meanwhile Levi takes a break or so he says.</p><p>"Excuse me, Ms. Hange," Eren says as he gets the attention of the scientist. Mikasa and Armin, who were next to him also caught up on his voice. "I wanted to ask something dumb but ..."</p><p>Hange looks up from her food to Eren as she waited for him to finish saying whatever he wanted to say.</p><p>"Is Ms. Maria and the Captain ... In a relationship?"</p><p>And the whole table went quiet the moment he asked the question and Eren had regretted even asking in the first place because now everyone was looking at him.</p><p>"They have to be!" Sasha interrupts from afar. "Yesterday night I found them talking to each other ... very closely."</p><p>"Captain Levi is also very protective over her," Connie adds.</p><p>"Oh, come on guys," it was Jean's turn to talk. "I doubt someone like Ms. Maria would like the Captain ... I mean he doesn't seem to be the type to be interested in relationships."</p><p>Hange on the other hand knew that at some point this was going to happen and it was normal for the new recruits to want to know everything that was happening in the Survey Corps.</p><p>"Well, why do you want to know?" Hange asks.</p><p>Eren looks over to Mikasa and Armin who looked at each other equally embarrassed.</p><p>"In the morning ... We went to look for Captain Levi in his room," Armin says as he looks away. "We knocked a few times and then we entered ... And we accidentally saw Ms. Maria changing clothes."</p><p>"Yo, Armin that's wrong!" Connie says in a teasing manner, he sightly punches the blond boy but Armin was fast to negate his affirmations.</p><p>"No, it's not like that! It's just ... That we saw a lot of scars in her body," Armin says. "From what I know Ms. Maria is no soldier so ... Many scars in her body its a bit strange ..."</p><p>"With how possessive and overprotective Captain Levi is over Maria, we were wondering if he has ever shown any type of aggressiveness towards her," Mikasa says to Hange, tired that both of her friends were beating around the bush.</p><p>Hange lets out a sigh, it's of no wonder that these children were worried about the brunette. After all, she had been like a second mother to them.</p><p>"You asking me if Levi and Maria are in a relationship because you are worried Levi is abusive towards Maria?" Hange asks and Mikasa nods. "No, he never has. He just really cares for her."</p><p>Everyone at the table sighs in relief. Especially Eren, he was happy to know that his hero was indeed just a simple old man incapable of hurting Maria.</p><p>"However, they used to date,"</p><p>"What!?"</p><p>Everyone stood up from their seats and they encircled the scientists as they waited for the details. Some of them were already blasting with questions.</p><p>"Who confessed to who?"</p><p>"How long did they date?"</p><p>"Why did they break up?"</p><p>Of course, Hange wasn't going to answer all of those questions but maybe just giving a small explanation would be enough.</p><p>"I am not the right person to talk about all of that," Hange says as she notices that Maria and Levi entered the dining hall. However, they quickly part ways as Maria went to talk to Lisa and Leah. Lisa was, of course, carrying her five-year-old in her arms.</p><p>"But just look at Levi, he pretends he is not looking at her but whenever he can he likes to takes glances at her just to make sure she is fine," Hange says. "They have been together for so long they even sometimes act like each other, a bit weird and cute."</p><p>"Their story is a tragic one but there's no doubt that they love and care for each other," Hange has a smile as she sees both interact with just a look. That's all they needed to know what was going on in each other's minds.</p><p>"But if they love each other ... Why aren't they together?" Connie asks.</p><p>Meanwhile, Mikasa had a small memory going across her mind. There used to be Mr. Nicholas and Captain Levi who would come to the refugee facility from time to time. She even saw Nicholas kiss Maria on the forehead and her holding hands with Captain Levi.</p><p>"But that doesn't explain the scars on Ms. Maria-"</p><p>"Eren!"</p><p>At the sound of Levi's voice and his steps getting closer, everyone went back to their seats pretending that nothing had happened.</p><p>"Yes sir!" Eren was the only one to stand up from his seat and saluted his Captain.</p><p>"After today's training, you will go back with us to the castle so Hange can start on the experiments," Levi says as Eren nods.</p><p>"Yes sir!"</p><p>"Also, Maria and I talked this morning-"</p><p>At his words, Eren began to panic and he bows as a form of apology. "I am sorry! I swear it wasn't my intention to see Ms. Maria in her underwear!"</p><p>The whole table went quiet and they just hoped for the best for the brunette boy. Levi had just a killer aura around him and if looks could kill, Eren will be long dead.</p><p>"I talked to her this morning and she made me realize that I was been too hard on you," Levi says. "I was just going to apologize for being rude to you yesterday."</p><p>"Oh..." Eren quickly straightens himself, his eyes trembled a little as he feared the worst.</p><p>"So, Eren ..." Levi takes a few steps closer to him. Looking up at him, Levi had an upside-down smile. His eyes were shadowy and his voice lowered. "What is it gonna be? Arm or leg? Which one should I cut off-"</p><p>"Levi, cut him some slack," Maria enters the scene, and Eren mentally thanked everything divined that she was here. "The poor boy has enough stress already."</p><p>The brunette was carrying a young blond boy in her arms. Although the boy was big enough to walk, he enjoyed being in the brunettes' arms.</p><p>Wearing her Survey Corps uniform and her long hair on a ponytail, it wasn't something that fitted her motherly look. Nonetheless, it doesn't seem like it affected her too much. She looked comfortable holding the child in her arms as if the kid was her own.</p><p>"Also, Arthur wants to know if you can take him on a horse ride later on," Maria says as the blond boy extends his arms. Wanting to be carried by Levi this time.</p><p>Levi was a bit annoyed but still carried the child in his arms. He had known the kid since the day he was born and although he didn't show it much, he liked having Lisa's kid around.</p><p>"Fine but don't expect me to take care of you if you fall down," Levi says at the boy and looks back at Maria.</p><p>"Thank you Uncle Levi!" the small boy smiles as Maria smiles at the sight. Since he could speak, Arthur has taken the habit of calling Levi 'Uncle' and Maria 'Aunt' since they were still dating  by the time he began to have conscious. </p><p>Everyone watched them interact and little by little they were starting to understand Hange's words. They looked like a married couple, taking care of their kid. Many questions still remind, especially the reason why they had broken up. But for now, they didn't think about that.It was strange and comforting at the same time. Captain Levi and Maria had unconsciously become the father and mother of the group. With Levi being the strict dad and Maria the sweet mother.</p><p>They were good times and although no one dared to admit it, it was nice to see them act so comfortable around each other.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>"And then she told me she was going to try," Levi says. "I know I shouldn't get angry, after all, that's what I asked her to do but..."</p><p>"Well, you need see her side too ... You do act as if you love her even when you say you don't," Hange says. They were drinking a cup of tea at the castle. Waiting for Eren to wake up from their recent experiment. He was tired and wanted to give the boy a small rest before doing another experiment.</p><p>"And if you ask me, I don't believe any of that bullshit either," Hange puts her cup of tea down on the table. "Levi ... Have you really lost all feeling of love towards her?"</p><p>And of course, everything was bullshit. But could he say anything? No. Could he act upon his feelings? No. Did he want to? Absolutely.</p><p>But there were promises he needed to keep. One for honor and the other to protect.</p><p>And lastly ... There was doubt. That if he were to be with her again, things could go wrong for her and for him. He was scared for life, deep down he felt like everything was his fault.</p><p>He was living what Nicholas had lived. Levi felt like a part of Maria hated him because what happened to her was all his fault. Not only that but he felt like he needed punishment and this was it.</p><p>"Levi, what happened? Those few years back," Hange had tried this again and again but she never got the answers that she needed. "You know you love her ... And she knows that too that's why it's hard for her to let go."</p><p>Levi stood quiet as he looks down at his tea.</p><p>"...And you don't want her to let go either," Hange says. "You say you do, that you want her to be happy ... But you have the hope that one day ... When all of this is done ... You can be with her right?"</p><p>"... I have to be realistic and know that she should be with someone else," Levi says. "She deserves better."</p><p>"Yeah maybe she does," Hange smiles a little trying to bring him comfort. "But it's not about deserving ... It's about what she wants ... and she wants you!"</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>"And then he told me that I should forget about my promise and move on," Maria says, next to her was Lisa and Leah.</p><p>"As you should, Maria it's been what? Three? Four years since he broke up with you," Leah says as she walks next to Maria. "If you don't hurry up you will end up like me, no husband and no kids ... And I am already old for either or."</p><p>Maria was approaching to be thirty while Levi thirty-four, it was already scary as it was and Maria herself knew that if she wanted kids, it was safe to have them now.</p><p>"Well, I guess I can adopt-"</p><p>"You need a husband for that, remember?"</p><p>Lisa lets out a sigh, this scene kinda reminder her of their younger days when they were tavern dancers. Well, it has only been five years since they quit the profession but somehow she still missed it.</p><p>They were walking around flower fields, right in front of the training grounds. Maria had a small break today but knew that her time was running short and had to go back to training soon.</p><p>"I do have to say that you both have changed a lot during these past five years," Lisa says. "Maria is a strong military woman, you don't even wear dresses anymore and Leah fell in love with a man."</p><p>"I would prefer to wear a dress every day than these pants ... I hate pants," Maria says as she tried to stretch her pants a little more to make them loose.</p><p>"And why don't you?" Lisa asks. "You don't have to wear them all day, only at work right?"</p><p>"Yes, but ... Dresses show too much and well ... My scars ..."</p><p>It went silent for a couple of seconds in which the air became awkward. It was a beautiful day, especially in spring when all the flower tulips were in full bloom.</p><p>At the silence, Leah decided to speak.</p><p>"Also, you know Erwin and I don't work together," Leah says as she looks to her side, talking about her personal life wasn't her forte but she tried to bring some type of comfort to her friend. "So, I guess I shouldn't judge you and your current relationship with Levi."</p><p>" ... Are you ok with that?" Maria asks, seeing that Leah's mood had changed. "He doesn't love you ... Are you ok with that? Knowing that he will never correspond to your feelings?"</p><p>"It hurts but I can't ask him to forget the woman he loves," Leah remembered her previous talk with Erwin. About the woman who's name is Marie and how after all of these years, he hasn't been able to forget her. "But I guess I love that side of him too."</p><p>Leah smiles delicately and at that Maria felt a warm feeling go to her heart. It seemed like she was in pain but it wasn't all suffering. It was sweet and she had accepted her faith and even found comfort in her resolution.</p><p>"I've already decided to dedicate my heart to him."</p><p>.....</p><p>With the passing of a few weeks, things were a bit strange and awkward between the brunette and noirette. Levi had tried to keep his distance and it wasn't all that bad. But he couldn't help and feel a tingly sensation whenever Maria would be talking to strangers or Eren.</p><p>It's more like he couldn't trust the kid just yet and he was afraid that he might not be able to control his power. Although Maria had become very strong and was very versatile on both, hand to hand combat and 3D maneuver gear, he knew that she wouldn't be able to kill the kid if necessary.</p><p>"And there! The corset is done!" Maria gave a small pat on Sasha's back."</p><p>"Ah, thank you, Ms. Maria, this is the only one I have ... I am not too fond of corsets."</p><p>Since Eren had been really patient and good at his experiments, he was given one weekend free. Everyone decided to gather at the castle and get ready there. It wasn't like Levi minded too much, it was more the fact that he was going to be left alone. His squad was going with the kids of course and although he hasn't asked, he was sure Maria would go too.</p><p>It was something casual but at that age looking their best was essential for teenagers and Maria was very aware of that. Besides it's not every day that they let Eren have some fun and as things are going, it was good for his mental health to take his head off things once in a while.</p><p>"Me either, but after a while, you get used to them," Maria says as they stand up from the dining table. She walked behind Mikasa and began to braid her short hair.</p><p>It was ridiculous for Levi to be standing there, just watching them so he decided to go into the next room, the kitchen where he could still hear them talk and giggle.</p><p>"Mikasa, why did you cut your hair? When you were small you had beautiful long hair," Maria asks as she plays with her hair, making small braids.</p><p>"Eren said it will be better to have it short ... It can get on the way of battle," Mikasa replies calmly, more at peace that Captain Levi was gone.</p><p>"Well, Eren didn't know that hair ties exist," Maria's replies, and at that Sasha lets out a small giggle as she gets closer to Maria and Mikasa. "But something tells me that there must be another reason why you did it."</p><p>Maria already knew that Mikasa must have a crush on Eren and that she was doing things to please him. She thought that she will be getting a negation from Mikasa but instead, it was silent confirming Maria's theories.</p><p>"It's alright, you don't have to say anything," Maria says as she places a small bow on the back of Mikasa's hair, decorating it beautifully. "But that dress that you are wearing will definitely get his attention."</p><p>Mikasa smiles a little at the thought and at the scene, Sasha was the one who decided to speak next.</p><p>"Ms. Maria ... What kind of dress would you wear when you dated Captain Levi?"</p><p>Hange made Maria aware that she had told the kids about her past relationship with Levi and of course, she was expecting questions to be asked soon.</p><p>The brunette looked at the two girls. It wasn't like the questions bothered her but she did feel a bit embarrassed at the subject. But looking at the two teenagers kinda reminded her of when she was young. Except that she was a tavern dancer by 15 and they were young respectable soldiers. And sometimes in the strictness of the military, femininity is often forgotten. It was things like this that reminded Maria that these were 15-year-old girls, who were interested in boys and dating mostly because there was a possibility that they didn't have a chance of doing that themselves, being in the military and all.</p><p>So, Maria decided to retaliate.</p><p>"Well, it depended on the occasion," Maria says as she tries to remember the days they were together. "I would usually go undress or half dress and only fully dressed when it was an important occasion."</p><p>"Undress?!"</p><p>"That's the term for a casual dress," Maria looks up at the ceiling as her mind started to flow with memories. "I really liked promenade dresses too, Levi also liked them and would ask me to wear them often."</p><p>"He would also overdress me! He might not show it but he takes his physical appearance very seriously," the brunette lets out a giggle as she remembers the days Levi would dress very nicely. </p><p>The two girls smile tenderly as they like how Maria seemed happy to talk about the Captain.</p><p>"I can't believe Captain Levi would be like that," Mikasa says, she didn't like Captain Levi and he wasn't her favorite but this made Mikasa look at him in a different light. "He just doesn't seem like the type to ... Well, be interested in romance or be the type you will be interested in."</p><p>"I know Captain Levi can be seen as strict and very arrogant too but he is a very loving man and very kind too, and even when he doesn't show it, he cares for everyone," Maria then walks behind Sasha, as she grabs the brush from the dining table.</p><p>"So please be nice to him, he is not one to speak about his feelings, but believe me when I say that everything he does is for the well being of you all."</p><p>It was quiet again as Maria softly brushed Sasha's brown hair. Maria seemed to be lost in thought but she also looked content and somewhat sad.</p><p>"And what about now?" Sasha asks as she tried to change the mood again. "I haven't seen you in a dress yet, what if you wear one tonight when you come with us to town?"</p><p>"Oh, I don't like them as much now and I will be staying here," Maria says. "You young ones go ahead and have fun."</p><p>"But-"</p><p>"She's lying," Levi interrupts Sasha before she could say anything else. He came out of the kitchen while holding a cup of tea and he unintentionally heard the entire conversation. "She loves dresses, especially making them. She doesn't wear them as often because ... of her job but she loves them. Also, she will be going to town with you all."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Ah, we will help you get ready!" Sasha said as she stood up from her chair, Mikasa following her as well. "We will look for Christa! I bet she will want to help us too!"</p><p>And with that, the two young girls went outside of the castle, way too excited about dressing up Maria like a doll. Leaving Levi and Maria alone, the brunette looks back to look at Levi with an annoyed look on her face.</p><p>"Now you are making me go to places I don't want to go?" Maria asks as she begins to clean the dining table. Hairbrushes, makeup, and ribbons were placed all over it.</p><p>"I think it will be good for you to go out," Levi says as he keeps his eyes on hers. "It's been a while since you had fun."</p><p>"I don't need fun," Maria says. "I am perfectly fine here."</p><p>"Tsk, you sound like me," humanity's strongest soldier kept looking at the brunette. He loved seeing her in dresses but he had to admit that it was very pleasurable to see her wear a uniform. The white pants and shirt fitted her nicely and she wasn't wearing the brown jacket, allowing Levi to see her curves even better.</p><p>He tries to look away but he took glasses once in a while.</p><p>"I am just saying that maybe if you were to go out a bit more often, then you may find someone suitable."</p><p>"... You want me to go out with a man?"</p><p>When she puts things like that, it sounded stupid. And yes it was to an extent because although Levi didn't like the idea, he thought that maybe if Maria were to spend some time with someone else ... Then he can start getting used to the idea of not being with her anymore.</p><p>"Yes," Levi says.</p><p>Maria stops for a few seconds and she didn't believe Levi's words. One thing was that he didn't love her anymore and the other was forcing her to be with someone else.</p><p>"Levi, if you want to get rid of me so bad, then just tell me!" Maria raised her voice a little but not so loud as to cause any commotion. "I told you don't have to feel responsible for me, you can be with someone else! But you can't make me be with someone I don't want just because you don't want me to be around anymore."</p><p>"It's not that,"</p><p>"Then what is it? Because you sure do make me feel like you don't want me near you," Maria says. "Do you really want me to stop loving you so badly?"</p><p>No, fuck. That's the last thing he wanted but he knew that it was necessary even when he hated the idea of her being in someone else's arms. Fuck, fuck no. He wanted to go back on his words just now especially when he saw that sad face of hers.</p><p>And he also hated the fact of leaving her alone, just for any man to come and hurt her. And he knew that Maria was strong and can take care of herself but it was more like his body was telling him to not separate from her.</p><p>Because just like her, Levi also had nightmares. And a trauma he couldn't let go ... If he had never let her go, if he didn't leave that day ... She wouldn't have suffered.</p><p>And the guilt ate him alive.</p><p>"You told me to treat you like the other soldiers," Levi looks at Maria and their eyes meet and although he didn't want to say it, he knew he had to. "And as your Captain, I am ordering you to go."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Looking over the night's sky. The stars that shone brightly above her and the springs' winds that pass through her hair, the grass that danced with a non-existent melody. The dress that she didn't want to wear but she felt obliged to and her confused heart that didn't know where to go next.</p><p>Looking up at the tree that Levi had planted five years ago was now looking very healthy. Tall and full of beautiful leaves and although he had planted it to honor his friends, Maria will come once in a while too.</p><p>She would have preferred to visit her brother's grave in moments like this but the cemetery was too far from the Survey Corps facility.</p><p>"Your friend gives me headaches," Maria says to no one in particular, she just wanted to be heard by the tree and the memory of Furlan and Isabell. Maybe that can bring her some wisdom. "I am trying to understand him ... But sometimes he can be complicated ... I just hope I am on the right path."</p><p>"If you keep talking to yourself, then I doubt it."</p><p>Maria froze on the spot and as she looks to her side, she saw Levi standing and looking down at her. She wasn't expecting him here all of the places but once again, this was his secret place.</p><p>"How did you find me?" Maria asks as she watches him sit next to her, their backs resting on the oak tree's trunk.</p><p>"A hunch," Levi says as he looks down to the hill. Their house was just down the hill and he came on a horse from the castle. It wasn't that far away and he decided to give a check on the house since no one has been taking care of it. He thought of cleaning around the house and maybe go through his memory sketchbook with a cup of tea. But then from afar, he saw Maria's figure, sitting on top of this hill.</p><p>"How was your night?" Levi asks.</p><p>"... I tried to make conversation with someone," Maria starts.</p><p>At her words, Levi felt something worse coming.</p><p>"And it happened."</p><p>He felt his heart skip a beat and he thought that at any moment he could faint of jealousy. Just what did she mean by her words? Did it happen? Did she ... did she-</p><p>"I talked to this guy and he was nice," Maria continues. "But he saw the scars on my legs and he left shortly after."</p><p>There was silence and the sound of nocturnal animals and the wind could be heard.</p><p>"It's alright, I know they are not pretty to look at," Maria says as she looks away, she turns her head away from him to try and get a few seconds of privacy. "It doesn't matter ... Everyone has their preferences anyways."</p><p>But it did matter.</p><p>Levi knew that Maria has never had the best outlook on her body and now that there were scars all over it, she felt ashamed of it. Especially when people saw them and asked her where did she get them. She could only look away awkwardly and she didn't want to explain not remember those horrible days.</p><p>And she stopped wearing dresses even when she loved them because people would stare at her and make assumptions.</p><p>Once again, something that she loved was taken away.</p><p>"Bastard."</p><p>"It's alright, I tried and it didn't work, that's how things go," Maria says, she steals a quick glance at him and found him looking at her. "Would you now stop bothering me with finding someone else? I am almost thirty and it's most likely not gonna happen now. If you want me to stop being verbal about my love for you then I will ... But you should stop worrying so much about me."</p><p>They've had this conversation before and tragically, it seems like neither party wanted to part away.</p><p>Levi had an inner conflict, of wanting to be close to Maria and knew he shouldn't because his guilt overtook him. And for Maria, she didn't know what to do because Levi's words and actions contradicted each other. He says he doesn't love her but his actions say otherwise. But she was starting to believe his words. Now he was pushing her away, now it really seems like he was taking care of her because he felt responsible for what happened years ago.</p><p>"How did he even see your legs?"</p><p>His question took Maria by surprise and at this point, she didn't know if was asking because he was curious or because he was trying to avoid the topic at hand.</p><p>"You are wearing a long dress," he says. "And you are wearing socks for what I can see."</p><p>Maria picked up her dress just a little, showing Levi her almost transparent black long socks. "They are long socks, but you can almost see through them, I wasn't expecting him to pick up my dress either."</p><p>Levi remembers those socks because he likes them very much. Although she had only shown him a small part of her legs, he knew that those socks reached all the way to her thighs. He knew because he had taken them off many times before.</p><p>His mind was going wild as previous scenes of their intimates nights began to cross his mind.</p><p>And now he was jealous too, fucking pissed actually because he didn't know how in the hell was a man capable of refusing her while he was here begging to be touched by her even if it was only in his shoulder.</p><p>"And why did he pick up your dress?" he couldn't help it, he just wanted to know more even if that killed him.</p><p>"Do you have to know?"</p><p>Levi looks at her as the wind softly moved her hair. It was an awkward silence but Maria knew that by the look on his face, he was serious.</p><p>"He kissed me ... and you know," Maria looks away again, her eyes focused on the house below them. It just felt strange talking about this kind of thing with her ex.</p><p>"But I don't know, it just felt wrong," Maria had tried really hard to forget about Levi tonight and do as he had asked but it just seemed impossible. "I was kinda glad he left after he saw the scars actually."</p><p>"It's hard for me ... to you know ... be with someone who isn't you," she didn't say it to sound dependent on him but it was the truth. Maria has a difficult time trusting people and even the touch of others became uncomfortable. "You are the only one I can trust when it comes to that."</p><p>And Levi knew that but he didn't know whether he should feel happy or not. Before, he thought he would be happy if Maria did not have eyes for anyone but him. But not like this, now he was understanding why one should be careful with what they wish for. Because he didn't want this. Levi didn't want Maria to feel like he couldn't trust anyone, he didn't want her to become like him.</p><p>" ... He still is a bastard," Levi says. "I don't know if this helps but I like the dress you are wearing."</p><p>And of course, it helped. Maria wasn't looking for anyone's approval but Levi's. She wanted to look good for him even if she wasn't going to spend the night with him. Even if the scars in her body made her feel terrible and reminded her of days she wanted to forget.</p><p>"It does help," Maria smiles tenderly at him. "You know it does."</p><p>They looked at each other's eyes and unknowingly, their bodies started to get closer and closer. Almost intertwining their little fingers, touching each other just for the tiniest of centimeters. They both looked away, knowing that this was an act of resilience and love and it was strange for both of them. Because they knew that this wasn't something normal friends do, but they just couldn't help it.</p><p>Maria knew that this was going to end badly that she should stop and pull away, she didn't want to be treated this way. Because the more Levi looks at her, the more he acts kindly towards her ... The more she believes he still loves her.</p><p>Was he just being nice? Was this his way of showing that he cares? Because she could think this was romantic but maybe to him it wasn't.</p><p>Maria has known many sides of Levi and thought that she has had a complete understanding of his persona. But this was new to both of them and they just didn't know what to do.</p><p>"Are you going to be doing something tomorrow?" Levi asks as he looks down the hill.</p><p>"I'll probably be sewing some dresses, Christa asked me for one and Sasha and Mikasa too," Maria says as her thoughts were interrupted. "And I have a few customers waiting for dress repairments." </p><p>"The house has been lonely recently, I will like to come to clean it tomorrow," he says. "I also want to bring some of my things to the castle."</p><p>"Oh, what things?"</p><p>Levi didn't want to say, because it was a bit embarrassing. It was the sketchbook he has been working on in the past years, the one he never gave to her. He likes to see it before going to sleep or try to sleep. As well that he kept the portrait drawing they did together five years ago. Levi was bond to spend a lot of time watching Eren on the castle and he just wanted to be more comfortable by having some of his things around.</p><p>"My teacups and other things," Levi replies as he tries to play it cool. "Would you like to help me?"</p><p>"Mmmm would you let me cut your hair, it's pretty long."</p><p>And of course, he couldn't say no.</p><p>"Deal."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>A few days later, the weather was perfect for some hand to hand combat training and new recruits couldn't pass the opportunity. Mostly because Hange had told them before that Maria had been trained by Captain Levi and even the best-trained people at the Survey Corps could not defeat her.</p><p>And it was just like that, she was fast and strong. One by one all of the recruits were defeated. Sasha, Jean, Connie, Eren, Armin, even Reiner and Bertholdt who had come by to say hi. All of them didn't last a minute and after every fight, Maria would pint point the things they could improve on. Five years of intense training were paying off and she still had a lot of learning, especially with her 3D maneuver gear techniques.</p><p>Lastly, it was Mikasa who Maria had to encounter. And of course, Maria knew that the young one was on another level. After all, she was an Ackerman.</p><p>Maria never resented her or anything of that matter, after all, she was more than sure that Mikasa had nothing to do with the Ackerman group. She saw her as a daughter and could not hate her even if she wanted.</p><p>But wow, was her daughter strong. It was an intense ten minutes of fighting until Maria had made a wrong movement with her hand and had injured it. It wasn't Mikasa's fault, Maria had just done a little mistake.</p><p>"Are you alright?" Mikasa worried as she walks towards Maria who was on the ground, trying to hold in the pain.</p><p>They were just outside the castle, the new soldiers began to surround Maria as they saw that she wasn't standing up.</p><p>"Yes, I am. I think it's just injured," Maria says as she stands up seeing that everyone began to worry. "I'll be fine, I think I just need a few bandages."</p><p>"What happened?"</p><p>Everyone turned around to see Captain Levi coming towards them. They all panicked and formed a line except for Mikasa who stood next to Maria. The air became heavy, as they expected the worse.</p><p>"Ms. Maria injured her hand in combat," Mikasa responds as she looks down at Levi.</p><p>"You fought her?" Levi raised his voice and his face changed, he was furious. He didn't like Mikasa, he had secretly disliked her since he found out she was an Ackerman. "What the fuck were you thinking?!"</p><p>"Levi, don't scream at her!" Maria puts herself in between Mikasa and Levi, still holding onto her hand's wrist. "It was an accident-"</p><p>"I scream to whoever the fuck I want!" Levi looks at Maria, equally angry. "They need to fucking learn a lesson, I told them to not harm you, and this what they do, disobeying orders!"</p><p>"They are children, give them a break!" Maria tries to stay calm but whenever Levi got like this, it was impossible.</p><p>"No, they are soldiers and you need to treat them like that! They are not your children and you need to stop being so fucking naive, you can't just go around trusting everyone!"</p><p>It went quiet, and while Maria and Levi stared at each other, the recruits didn't know where to look. In the sky? At the ground? At each other?</p><p>" ... Everyone, please leave us alone," Maria says and immediately they all went running inside the castle, leaving Maria and Levi alone.</p><p>It was a beautiful day, the skies were clear and although it was spring, it wasn't hot. It was a nice weather ... Well, that was just 20 minutes ago. Because now there were grey clouds in the sky and heavy wind around them. It was going to rain any second, but no one cared.</p><p>"What the fuck do you think you are doing?" Levi breaks the silence between them. "You can't order my soldiers around, much less fight with them knowing you are going to get hurt."</p><p>Maria takes a heavy sigh, trying to stay calm. She really tried her best to be the mind of reason, that Levi was like this because he cared for her but she really hated it when he would scream at the kids like that.</p><p>"Levi it's fine, I am ok-"</p><p>"No, it's not fucking fine. Fuck, Maria, I can't take my eyes off you because you always end up hurting yourself!"</p><p>And something that she hated more was that he was blaming her as if she liked getting hurt. Multiple times she had told him to not worry about her but he keeps on insisting.</p><p>And Levi knew that he was contradicting himself,  he wanted Maria to trust in people ... In anyone but an Ackerman. </p><p>"What does that mean?" Maria asks as her skin feels small drops of water landing on her. "I don't need you to take care of me! I already fucking told you but you are the one who keeps it up!"</p><p>Levi knew that Maria was pissed, especially because she only curses when she is extremely angry. He knew that he wasn't in the best of mind at the moment. But he hated that Maria seemed to not be interested in her well being at all.</p><p>"You could have fought with anyone, but you decided to fight Mikasa and you know she's an Ackerman!" Levi felt it too, his white shirt starting to get a little bit wet with the raindrops landing on him. "Do you even fucking care what happened to you? About what happened to us?"</p><p>"Don't bring that shit up again!" Maria screams at him this time. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. "I am over it Levi, I am ready to move on! It's you who doesn't want to let go!"</p><p>"Me? You are the one who can't move on! For fucks sake you can't even be with a man who is not me!"</p><p>And it started to pour water from the sky. Completely covering them with water, Maria's hair was completely wet as well as her clothes and Levi was in the same situation but they didn't care.</p><p>"I fucking can! The reason why I don't is because for some reason I still fucking love you!" Maria's voice starts to break and she hated it because the last thing she wanted was to appear weak and too sensible to him. "And I know, I know you don't love me and I know you don't miss me but I have hope that you can at least love the time I spend with you."</p><p>They heard the heavy raindrops touch their clothes and land on the ground as it became quiet around them, not noticing that from inside the castle there were eyes watching them.</p><p>"Every day for the past five years, I come back from work and seat on the dining table with a cup of tea, staring at the door," Levi knew that his words weren't making sense but he hoped that she understood his message. "Every day, I wait for you. You come back home 15 minutes  after me, not a minute more, not a minute less. You always do, and there were days in which you were a minute late and I can't describe how anxious that makes me."</p><p>Levi touched his forehead with his hand, he tried to look for the right words but was having difficulty. And he felt stupid because he was taking long to continue.</p><p>"I am like a dog, whose entire existence is you," he says. "So, understand that whenever something bad happens to you, I panic. I don't know if it's mental, I don't know if it is physical, but just understand that it pisses me off that you don't care about yourself as much as I care about you!"</p><p>Just like with everything, Levi liked things to stay a certain way. Always, just like with cleaning. Things have to be the way he wants it or he has to repeat the action until it's right.</p><p>And that applied to Maria too, he just needed to see her everyday, to know that she was fine. His body and mind-controlled that thought alone.</p><p>"Every day, you come back home and I know you will but I just can't help it, I am scared," Levi looks into her caramel eyes, so strong and expressive and he didn't know how he has the heart to see her like this. "I am scared that one day you won't comeback, that one day you will leave me and it scares me because it has happened before ... You left me, you fucking left me and if only you had told me sooner, you and I-"</p><p>He cuts off mid-sentence. He regretted his words, this wasn't her fault. Levi knew that Maria left him because she thought it was the best. She didn't want Elise to do something crazy and kill him. So, why? Why did he feel this way? Why ... after five years ... Why does he still feel betrayed?</p><p>"I did it for you ... So, you wouldn't get killed," Maria's voice break, and her vision was blurry due to the rain landing on her face. "Is the guilt you have that bad ... That you prefer to blame everything on me?"</p><p>
  <em>No, no, no. I am sorry, it's all my fault. I want to carry the blame, I want you to hate me. I am sorry, I am sorry, I am stupid.</em>
</p><p>"You seriously don't love me anymore, do you?"</p><p>
  <em>No, Maria, I do. But I just don't know anymore ... I don't know what's best for you.</em>
</p><p>Maria gulps as she hopes that the rain covers her tears. She looks down at the floor for a few seconds, forgetting that she existed. Closing her eyes and then opening them slowly, she looks up to Lev, his dark blue eyes on her. His wet hair and wet clothes, he looked beautifully broken, just like her.</p><p>"Alright, I understand,"</p><p>The brunette then takes off her brown jacket, it was wet but she hoped it could help someway or another. She placed it on top of Levi's head, preventing him from getting any more rain on his head. She pats his shoulder and that made him jump just a little, not knowing what she was doing.</p><p>"Let's go inside, alright? You will get sick," Maria says as she tries to smile.</p><p>Levi felt like breaking at that moment but he couldn't.</p><p>He couldn't.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>Two weeks passed and Levi and Maria haven't talked much. Just a regular good morning and afternoon whenever she came to visit Eren and cook something for Levi's squad. Eren's friends also came to visit once in a while and Maria accompanied them as well.</p><p>But things got strange suddenly as Levi made everyone look for something.</p><p>A sketchbook.</p><p>He gave everyone the instructions of looking for a blue sketchbook and if they were to find it to not open it, just give it directly to him.</p><p>And that's how Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Sasha, Connie, and Jean looked everywhere inside the castle. While Christa, Bertholdt, and Rainer looked on the outside. Everything for a damn sketchbook.</p><p>They looked for it everywhere, and Levi was starting to panic and thought of himself as an idiot for even losing it. He thought he had kept it safely in the desk of his room but now that he thinks about it, Hange had visited recently and maybe she moved it or even took it.</p><p>If that was the case, she was going to get the screaming of her life by Levi. Maybe the scientist was playing a prank on him because the only ones who knew the content of the sketchbook were Levi, Erwin, and Hange.</p><p>Meanwhile, Levi was searching on the top part of the castle, the recruits were searching on the bottom. It took a few hours but finally, they found it.</p><p>"Look guys I found it," Connie says in a whisper as he enters the dining room. Eren, Armin, and Mikasa came out of the kitchen as they heard Connie's voice coming from the other room.</p><p>"Oh, that's good, we should tell Captain Levi-"</p><p>"Don't you all want to look at it first?" Connie asks as a cocky smile appears on his face. "What if it's something interesting?"</p><p>"Interesting?"</p><p>"Well, he did seem pretty worried about it," Connie places the sketchbook on the dining table as everyone began to surround him. "What if it is a mature sketchbook with mature pictures uh?"</p><p>"He said to not open it!" Eren says, a bit more scared of the Captain but he was also intrigued about the reason why Captain Levi had such interest in the book.</p><p>"That's why! Come on, just a small peek-" Connie says as he opens the cover of the sketchbook and everyone tried looking away. "Uh?"</p><p>"Well, is it what we think it is?" Jeans ask as he low-key wanted to take a peek as well.</p><p>"It's Ms. Maria," Connie says, and at that Eren was fast to react.</p><p>"Close it! The Captain will cut our heads off if he finds out!"</p><p>"No, it's just drawings of her," Connie begins to flips the pages of the sketchbook. Each drawing was done to a nice detail and he began to wonder who had done the drawings. "Look!"</p><p>"I won't look!" Eren says a bit disgusted at the thought because he thought of Maria as a second mother.</p><p>"Oh, it's just drawings of her," Sasha says as she looks from behind as Connie flips the pages of the book. "Look, in this one, she's cooking."</p><p>At her words, everyone turns to look at the drawings of the sketchbook. Getting the curiosity of everyone, they were entranced with the drawings and how they got better by each passing page. </p><p>"They even have dates," Mikasa says, as she saw few written words next to each drawing, a pen's ink printed on the pages. "This one was five years ago, the words say .... Maria, on our first date."</p><p>"Oh, this is a memory book!" Sasha says excitedly. "That's why the Captain was so worried, this book-"</p><p>"This book is mine and you all shouldn't be looking at it."</p><p>They froze on the spot as they felt a shiver run down their spines. The group slowly turns their head to face Captain Levi, looking at them. They almost immediately pushed Connie towards him and even when he was scared, he knew he had this coming.</p><p>"We are sorry, sir," Connie says as he hands out Levi his sketchbook. The Captain takes it reluctantly as he looks over to the kids. They all genuinely looked sorry and he has to admit that he hasn't given them enough credit. They were 15 year olds after all, and they already had too much to think about. He remembers being their age and being curious about the stupidest of things. Taking interest in anything that might make his day better.</p><p>And he also has to admit that he has been too hard on them, especially Eren and Mikasa who had done nothing wrong just being in the wrong time at the wrong place.</p><p>"I started this sketchbook a few years ago as a present for Maria's birthday," Levi sighs as he takes a few steps towards the dining table, he pulls out a chair and takes a seat on it. "But things happened and I was never able to give it to her."</p><p>Everyone watched the Captain place the book on the dining table and open it to the first page. They all gathered around him, as they took his actions as an invitation to look at the sketchbook with him.</p><p>"The first time I met her, it was raining and her dress was dirty," Levi says as he shows a drawing of Maria with her house attendant dress, the one she used daily. "I had just mopped the floor and that made me hate that dress ... But now that I think about it, I really liked that dress. It looked nice on her."</p><p>He skips a few pages forward and showed another drawing.</p><p>"This is when I first taught her how to use the 3D maneuver gear, she was so bad at it that she fell into a stranger's farm and landed in the mud with the pigs," Levi smiled softly at the memory as everyone lets out a small laugh at the picture. It was Maria, covered in mud with a pig next to her.</p><p>Levi flips a few pages as another memory drawing popped up.</p><p>"This one is when Maria was taking care of Lisa's son when he was a baby," Levi says, he really loved this image. Maria on a rocking chair, carrying the baby boy while she looked tenderly at him. "He will cry a lot, I'll tell you that much."</p><p>"I can guess Ms. Maria was very overprotective of him," Sasha comments seeing that mood was lighter and better.</p><p>"Yes, very. She sometimes would forget about me, it was frustrating trying to get some of her attention," Levi says. "But it was nice seeing her act like a mother."</p><p>All of them were looking tenderly at the Captain. They all always had thought of him as someone unbreakable and untouchable, as humanity's strongest soldier and that's it. But now, they were seeing the man behind all of that. The vulnerable human being he is and it was nice to have this small connection with their hero.</p><p>"I can imagine she was a very sweet person just like now," Mikasa adds.</p><p>"Very sweet ... Every day, after coming back to work, she would clean my boots. I told her she didn't have to do it but she kept doing secretly, thinking I wouldn't notice," Levi remembers that day he caught her in his room. Murmuring to herself words of <em>'As Captain, he should always look good.'</em></p><p>"I once accidentally cut off her hair bangs so short and crooked, I thought she was going to get angry but she didn't," Levi says. "She dared lie to me and said 'this is so much better, I love them' ... I tried my best and she knew that."</p><p>"Or like when I would come late from work, she would always sit by the door, waiting for me and she pretended like she was busy but she wasn't," for some reason, Levi feels his voice crack and he didn't know why. He should feel happy thinking about their past moments together. "She just pretended, to have an excuse to wait for me because she knew I disliked her not having proper sleep because of me."</p><p>The recruits looked at each other as they were starting to realize that Levi was now talking more to himself than to them, lost in thoughts and in memories.</p><p>Levi clenched his fists as he gulped saliva hoping that the act will allow him to continue talking without having his voice break, without it trembling.</p><p>"And we would drink tea together ... And we would talk for hours ... and ... and ..."</p><p>And with that, the dining table went silent and everyone watched the Captain stay quiet, his eyes trembling a little. Everyone heard him, even Maria who was on the second floor of the castle, not daring to go down to the dining room and confront him.</p><p>"Captain, are you alright?" Armin asks as he got worried at Levi's silence.</p><p>At that, Levi's trance was broken and he immediately stood up from the dining table as he closed the sketchbook. He didn't want to ruin the mood and he didn't want to make things worse my making everyone worry about him.</p><p>"Yes," he says. "I think that's enough for today. "Thank you for finding the sketchbook for me."</p><p>And with that, Levi takes the blue sketchbook with him and walks out of the room.</p><p>At that moment, Maria comes from down the stairs with an apologetic look on her face.</p><p>Everyone's eyes were on her, with the hope that she had heard everything Levi said about her. About how tenderly and lovely he talked about her.</p><p>And she did and she knew now what to do.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.....</p><p>He came here to think because he knew he had to. The tree  that he planted five years ago had grown beautifully and it seems like it wasn't stopping anytime soon.</p><p>The sun was going down as a beautiful twilight began to appear in the skies. It smells like grass and flowers, the tweeting of birds, and flapping of their wings. The wind dancing through the tree's leaves and the grass underneath him. Sitting underneath the tree on top of the hill as he rested his back on the tree's trunk. He closed his eyes as he lets his sensations take over him as he emptied his mind of negative thoughts and began to fill his mind with happier memories.</p><p>He still held onto the blue sketchbook in his hands, holding onto the past as if it was life itself. Afraid to let go.</p><p>"I knew I would find you here,"</p><p>He turns his head to the side to find Maria standing next to him. She was wearing the dress she wore the first time they met and for a moment Levi thought this was his mind playing tricks on him.</p><p>"Can I sit next to you?" She asks as she holds onto a black book. Levi nods and with his permission, Maria sits closely next to him. She took a moment to appreciate the view in front of her, breathtaking, peaceful as the sun softly died down.</p><p>"I haven't seen you wear that dress in a long time," Levi says as he steals a quick glance at her.</p><p>"Before you said that you liked it because it looked nice on me."</p><p>At her words, Levi knew what she meant. He had mentioned that before to the new soldiers and didn't know she was around to hear that. Not like he minded too much but it was a bit embarrassing, she was even wearing a white bandana around her hair like before.</p><p>Seeing that a few moments of silence passed, Maria decided to speak up.</p><p>"This is the book Nicholas wrote for me, five years ago before the accident," Maria looks down at her hands who tightly held onto the black book, not wanting to let go. "And I haven't been able to read it ... Only the title ... It's' called, <em>The Last Time</em>."</p><p>She touched the edges of the book delicately, feeling the hardcover of it, all of its small bumps and lines that were made through the years.</p><p>"I haven't read it ... Because ... I haven't been able to let go," Maria had realized that Levi was right. That just like him, she wasn't able to let go, not yet. And it proves by the fact that she hasn't been able to read the book Nicholas wrote for her because it gave her flashbacks. Terrible memories.</p><p>"I am not ready ... and you are not ready either," she says. "But I don't care."</p><p>Maria grabs Levi's hand who laid gently on the grass. She saw how he still held onto his sketchbook, not being able to let go either. His face showed pain and surprise because he missed her touch ... He missed her.</p><p>Using one hand, Levi opens the back of his sketchbook and pulls out a drawing. One that Maria knew very well.</p><p>It was the portrait drawing they did together five years ago. It was old and the paper was a bit wrinkled due to the passing of time but she can still clearly see the details.</p><p>"You still have that?" Maria asks as Levi nods.</p><p>"It's always with me," Levi replies as he puts the drawing on top of his sketchbook, letting her know that just like her, he still wasn't able to let go.</p><p>Their eyes met for a few moments, saying nothing and a lot at the same time. Words weren't necessary but they were comforting and sometimes that's all they needed.</p><p>"To be honest, I am a bit scared, we don't know anything about Elise and I am scared one day she can come back and do something else," Maria keeps looking at his dark blue eyes, just like the tone of the twilight in front of them, just as mysterious and beautiful like him.</p><p>"And it's not like we can do much, after all, she has the support of the royal family ... Unless we change the government there's no way we can change our lives."</p><p>And Levi knew that, he knew that they had been through a lot. That these past five years tore them apart. That their bodies and minds were tired and maybe even beyond repair.</p><p>And even if it was better, they didn't want to let go</p><p>"I wonder ... If the reason why you don't want to be with me is because of that," Maria tries to smile as she uses her other hand to caress Levi's face hoping that with one touch all his pain could be taken away. "Because of something you don't want to tell me. And it hurts a little, I thought that over the years we have learned to trust each other."</p><p>She was right, there were things he couldn't say even if he wanted. Things that were killing him everyday. Things his mind and body were begging to say to her so they could be together again.</p><p>But he couldn't.</p><p>He just couldn't.</p><p>Because if he does, everything falls apart.</p><p>And her happiness was everything to him.</p><p>"And I trust you, Levi, sometimes I forget that I tend to be selfish too. It hurts you too, doesn't it?" Maria feels Levi grab the hand she is using to caress his face and holds on to it tenderly. "I don't want to cause you pain, so don't worry I won't leave you. There won't be any other man in my life but you."</p><p>He looks at her brown eyes, caramel eyes that looked so sad but full of hope too. In those eyes, Levi felt like just drowning in them. So tired and sorrowful and he could only hope that Levi could take that pain away even if just a little.</p><p>"And even if you tell me that you don't love me, that won't change the fact that I love you."</p><p>His heart skips a beat as if he feels her words reach his soul. He thought that all the walls around him had fallen apart years ago.</p><p>But now he felt it, his soul standing up and reaching hers. Creating an unbreakable bond, something pure and with no restrictions.</p><p>"So please, don't pressure me to love someone else because I can't."</p><p>And Maria had already made up her mind. Levi tried pushing her away, for whatever the reason was. Maybe it was wrong, maybe it wasn't. To love someone to this extent, to believe in someone so blindly.</p><p>But she didn't care.</p><p>She had discovered, that even if it hurts. Even if his indifference killed her ... It didn't matter.</p><p>Because she was happy ... Just happy being next to him.</p><p>Just like this.</p><p>"And from now on, I promise I will follow you. You don't have to tell me a reason anymore," Maria says, still holding into his face. "It hurts but I've realized that I am happier being by your side than being with anyone else."</p><p>Kissing the palms of her hands, Levi felt his heart being released from all weight it held before. This was something only she could do, heal his soul and heart whenever he needed it.</p><p>"You don't have to love me, you don't have to tell me why you broke up with me and you don't have to tell me why your words contradict your actions," a tear roll downs her face as she begins to feel the same as him. Two different bodies but one soul, connected. "You never needed to say anything before to tell me your true feelings."</p><p>"I know," she says. "Levi, I know ... I know."</p><p>They both close their eyes as their foreheads touch each other. No <em>'I love you's'</em> were needed. And although Levi wanted to say it, he didn't.</p><p>Because it wasn't necessary. She knew.</p><p>"I'll dedicate my heart to you," Maria repeats the words of her friend, thinking of them as a vow. "So do whatever you want with it, break it, smash it into pieces, repair it, love it ... It was only yours to begin with."</p><p>He was entranced, hypnotized and although he wasn't saying much, he preferred it this way. Because words were never necessary, Maria was always able to tell what he felt by just looking at his eyes.</p><p>"Levi, I'll leave everything in your hands, I will trust your judgment on everything," Maria began to cry a little more, not caring anymore how horrible she must look. "I am at your feet ... So please, the only thing I ask in return ... Is for you to let me love you now and forever."</p><p>Levi wipes away her tears as he nodded.</p><p>His heart was hers as well, completely hers and she knew that. Levi knew that if another universe existed,  he knew that he will even love her then. That no version of him would not love her. If he were to live for 100 years, then will love her just a much. And again and again ... He will fall in love with her.</p><p>And that was something he will never regret.</p><p>Maria reassures him with a sweet smile. "From now on ... We will always be together."</p><p>"Forever?"</p><p>"Always."</p><p>There were many things he wanted to say but he didn't care about them anymore. Maria already knew, every single one of them. He had always regretted not being able to say <em>'I love you'</em> but maybe that wasn't needed anymore. Maybe one day, when days are peaceful and joyful he will say them. Levi made a promise to work for that future, it maybe be in vain and unrealistic ... But at the end of the day, we all have to be slaves to something to survive.</p><p>And for him, it was his dream of opening up a tea shop, while Maria sews one of the dresses she likes so much and his child plays with his toys next to her.</p><p>It was stupid but it didn't matter ... because it was the only reason keeping him alive.</p><p>
  <em>I don't know what awaits for us in the future. Maybe, everything is a tragedy and maybe I'll end up regretting this decision.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But as I look into her loving eyes, as my body begins to be drawn closer to hers ... I didn't care. This is life.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Are we born to die? Was I born only to suffer?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>No.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I was born so I can laugh, cry, suffer, fight, and learn. And she is all of that to me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She was all my life in one person.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>If I hold onto her forever, if I never let her go ... Could my feelings reach her? Yes, I am certain ... This is what she wants and what I want. And although our relationship may not be the best, it doesn't need labels.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>We were something else. Like how I can't drink tea without a teacup, or like how she can't sew without a needle. We needed each other to function and create something meaningful.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maybe one day, we can go back to touches and caresses because I know my body craves it very much. But for now, this ok too.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>For now, only a look, only a smile, only a laugh was needed. That's all I needed.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But ... I guess it's ok to be a little bit selfish once in a while.</em>
</p><p>They knew what was going to happen next. Their faces getting closer to each other, their eyes slowly closing as they felt each other's breaths in their lips.</p><p>And they shared a tender kiss, Maria's hands wrapping around Levi's neck as Levi held onto her waist pulling her closer to his body. Their lips dance and touch, as tears from Maria's eyes began to roll down her face.</p><p>They didn't want to separate, because they knew that this was probably their last time.</p><p>The last time.</p><p>Although they wanted to live in this moment together, they knew that it was not possible. That although their hearts craved for each other, it was not the moment. That even when their souls were connected, their bodies couldn't.</p><p>And it didn't matter, everything that matters was this moment. Enjoying this moment just like they enjoy the happy moments in life. And it couldn't be better, they tried to make it unique. A kiss that made each other feel what the other felt, getting to enjoy this kiss, this last moment together.</p><p>
  <em>I've decided to live my life with no regrets ... and to live as if it was my one last time.</em>
</p><p>They separated as they smiled at each other, their eyes met and in an unknown silence, they already knew everything they needed to know.</p><p>They stood up from the grass, as they still held into each other's hands.</p><p>Walking down the hill, as they look into the distance, the twilight above them, and the crushing of grass underneath them. It was just like in their dreams, a peaceful and alluring scenery.</p><p>Leaving the books forgotten on top of the hill, as if they were both forgetting their past, their story, memories, and pain.</p><p>
  <em>I don't know what will happen next ... The only thing I can hope for is that you will be there with me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maybe one day ... When all of this ends. When I am completely sure that we can be happy together ... Then I'll tell you ... that I love you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But I am in no rush ... because we will be together now, forever and always.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria ... For now, this may be our last kiss together. Our last intimate moment ... But I am sure it's not the last time.</em>
</p><p>And they walked home together. Holding hands as they disappear into the sunset, enjoying each other's love for one last time.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>
  <b>One Last Time</b>
</p><p>
  <em>End</em>
</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Author's Note</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I really don't know how to start this. Maybe no one will care to read this but I will write my thoughts about this story.</p><p>It started as a silly idea, with the question that if Levi were to love someone, how would that person be?</p><p>And slowly, it developed into something bigger and after more than 200,000 words and months of writings, it has finally reached an end.</p><p>Levi is a character that I love deeply and my only hope is that at least, at some point in his life he was content and happy. This story was written as a comfort story for me, that even if something bad were to happen to Levi at the end, at least I could go back to my world and read this with the hope that at least in past or in another universe Levi was happy.</p><p>You don't need love to be happy, I hope that I was able to express that thoroughly. But I do think you need people you can rely on, friends, a family who you can be yourself with. </p><p>I think we can find love in everything, on the simplest of things. On a person, on a friend, on a family, a hobby, a food, a place. Maybe we can't have all of that, at some point there can be separation but that doesn't mean that love is over.</p><p>I think love can transcend anything, even labels. And that's what I wanted to portray with Maria's and Levi's relationship.</p><p>Yes, I am a hopeless romantic. I like to believe that even in the darkest of times, on the cruelest of moments, love still reminds. It's unrealistic, but I don't think there's nothing wrong in believing in those kinds of things.</p><p>I can't really express with words Levi and Maria's relationship. I wanted to leave that to the interpretation of the reader.</p><p>That's why the ending is vague but opens up to possibilities.</p><p>Are Maria and Levi together now? Are they not? Or they just content by loving each other without having to fully express it? Will they be together later on when things get better?</p><p>That's up to the reader to decide.</p><p>So, why <em>One Last Time?</em></p><p>I do feel like life is made up of moments. Moments of happiness, suffering, pain, ecstasy, joy. These moments we can only live them once. Once in a lifetime, so we should appreciate these moments. No matter how good or bad they are.</p><p>You only get one last time. One last time of pain, one last time of love, one last time of happiness.</p><p>And hopefully, I have shown the beauty and pain of life through this story. I hope I have shown that life can be terrible, yes but it's the small moments of happiness we have that count. We have to feel pain in order to feel happiness.</p><p>So even in sad moments, we should appreciate them too because it's only one time. Only one last time you have to experience life and its sad and happy parts.</p><p>I don't know. I know this a fanfiction and I know that I may be taking this story too seriously. But after more than 200,000 words and a lot of thoughts about the characters, I hope that I was able to transmit my feelings to my readers.</p><p>This is by far the longest story I have written and also, the one that has more deep meaning.</p><p>I put a lot of thought into my characters and I hope that reflects on the story.</p><p>Originally, as I first drafted this story, I thought of making this a Levi X Reader story. And honestly, I still think that if this was a Levi X Reader story, this would have gotten more comments, likes, and views.</p><p>But as I thought of this other questions popped into my mind.</p><p>How can I make this a Levi X Reader story while maintaining the same emotional connection?</p><p>And I don't think I can.</p><p>I've read so many Levi x Reader stories and each and every one single one of them portrays Levi as this 'sex god', a jerk, and a bad boy without realizing that he is a three-dimensional character. He was traumas, he suffers, he has emotions. He is not omnipotent. And most stories fail to implement that.</p><p>And I don't blame writers, X Reader characters mostly fall flat because characters have to be reduced to 'cardboard' characters. At the end of the day, they simplistically write the protagonist so it can attract a wider audience. They fall short because they can develop the character, they can't make changes to it and it just ends up being a 'Mary Sue' type of character.</p><p>And this may not apply to all Levi X Reader stories, maybe there are some good ones out there but so far the ones I've read follow that simple formant.</p><p>And I am not saying this to make Levi x Reader writers feel bad or anything of that matter. I think it's great that they are creating a world in which the reader can put themselves as the protagonist.</p><p>But what I am trying to say is that Levi x OC stories should be more appreciated. Because creating a character really takes time and effort, developing it in a credible manner is tiring but it's all worth it.</p><p>And that's how Maria was born. I wanted to make her unique by making her as realistic as possible.</p><p>What I've noticed is that Levi's stories mainly have a female protagonist who is either too shy or too aggressive and logically speaking, no one is like that.</p><p>Humans are capable of being shy and aggressive of being good and bad in making good and bad decisions.</p><p>I created Maria with one thought in mind. That she will be fit to be Levi's life partner. Of course, that can imply a lot of things but I created the character so she can be his soulmate. As well that I based it off on Levi's fangirls and how they really just want Levi to be happy.</p><p>I think that the hardest part of writing her character was to make her, her own person.</p><p>Because in the beginning, it seems like Maria did not have other utter motives but be Levi's lover and I didn't want her character to be reduced to that.</p><p>But of course, all of that was connected with how she was raised and her past experiences. It isn't till later on that she learns to live for herself but of course, still being able to love Levi because loving him makes her happy.</p><p>So yeah, I really hope that you all enjoyed her character and that you enjoyed seeing her downs and ups as a character.</p><p>I honestly could go on and on talking about my characters and how I developed them. Especially Elise, who many people don't like but I love her character and writing about her lol.</p><p>During the stories, I've used a lot of parallels. Like how Mikasa kills her parents' murders and Maria killing for the first time.</p><p>Also, other parallels like how Levi is now in Nicholas's position and he finally gets to feel what he felt and understands the struggles he went through when Maria was abused.</p><p>There's a lot but I honestly can't remember all of them.</p><p>Now, I know you all must have questions about the future of this story so here we go ...</p><p>
  <b>1.Now that you are done with One Last Time, what will happen next?</b>
</p><p>As I mentioned before, I have a prequel and a sequel planned.</p><p><b>Prequel:</b> <em> The First Time</em></p><p>It will be a story about Levi and Elise's past relationship as well as for Maria and Nicholas'.</p><p><b>Sequel:</b> <em>The Last Time</em></p><p>Maria and Levi's story continue as we follow the current AOT timeline. This one depends on how AOT ends, so it will take time to develop.</p><p>(Also I have a AU story line ready, about Levi being a janitor at a junior high and Maria is a teacher, more of a fluff piece) bisexual Levi is in a love triangle between Erwin and Maria? (Plot is prone to change, it's on early stage of development.) (And I may write some Levi X Reader stories ... MAYBE)</p><p>
  <b>2.Did Nicholas die?</b>
</p><p>... Maybe.</p><p>
  <b>3.What happened to Elise?</b>
</p><p>Since the sequel's plot story is still in development, I can't reveal too much information because the plot is always prone to change. But I can say that she left the Survey Corps and is living with her family in Wall Sina.</p><p>
  <b>4.Were Leah and Erwin in a relationship?</b>
</p><p>Yes, but they broke up. Erwin knows he can die any day and he doesn't want Leah to end up hurt because of him. (Their story could be a great spin-off story lol)</p><p>
  <b>5.Favorite line in the story?</b>
</p><p>There's a few, but from the epilogue, it was Levi's thoughts about Maria. <em>"</em></p><p>
  <em>She was my whole life in a person."</em>
</p><p>
  <b>6.Any fun facts about the story?</b>
</p><p>Levi and Maria got to experience all five languages of love throughout the story.</p><p>Words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch.</p><p>
  <b>7.Sad facts?</b>
</p><p>Levi was never able to openly tell Maria that he loves her. He never said 'I love you.' Maria knows but still, kinda sad that Levi never got to say it with words.</p><p>
  <b>8.Any moments you cut off from the story that you would have liked to write?</b>
</p><p>There's a lot of missing scenes, but I don't want to make the story too long. (Maybe if anyone wants, I can write extra chapters about these stories.)</p><p>But there was a moment in which Maria and other house attendants, Hange and Petra had a sleepover and do a bunch of mess. Meanwhile, Levi, Nicholas, Erwin, and Nile also have their sleepover of their own and they do a lot of stupid things together. And at the end, Levi and Maria get back home and they are all like <em>"This is why I don't go out"</em></p><p>A cute fluff that I thought it wasn't too necessary to the story but I thought it was cute.</p><p>Also, Maria and Petra getting together to help Hange on her date with Moblit and they follow her along to make sure everything goes smoothly.</p><p>I also wanted to write more spicy scenes between Levi and Maria because in the whole story, I only explicitly wrote three sex scenes between the two (even when they made love many times lol). So, I would like to explore more of their sexual relationship.</p><p>
  <b>9.Parts of the story that made you emotional?</b>
</p><p>It has to be the first time Levi and Maria made love and the ending.</p><p>The first time they had sex, it had a lot of emotion even when Maria's past is not revealed yet at that point in the story. It holds more meaning after re-reading it and knowing the things she went through. It was the first time Maria and Levi showed vulnerability to another person.</p><p>And the ending, it's bittersweet but I also very full-filling I think. Levi is happy that he can stay by Maria's side and Maria is happy that she is free to love Levi unconditionally.</p><p>I was happy to see two characters being content with the decisions they made and taking decisions without regretting them.</p><p>
  <b>10.Anything else?</b>
</p><p>Maria and Levi's last words to each other in this book were <em>"Forever and always."</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> <b>If you have anymore questions, feel free to ask me on the comments :)</b> </em>
</p><p>Finally, I want to thank every single one of you who has read this story. Who leave comments, likes, kudos, etc. I will be mentioning the people who commented on the story. (I also greatly appreciate those who only like and gives kudos but I won't be mentioning them because there are too many and won't be able to finish, I am sorry.)</p><p>
  <b>I want to thank my Ao3 readers:</b>
</p><p>Kat</p><p>IPurpleAll7</p><p>helloiamsad</p><p>Minniekat</p><p>Kyoko418</p><p>Kat26</p><p>Shizukha</p><p>Random Reader</p><p>Ace</p><p>Moonlit_Raven</p><p>fluffykillugon</p><p>UnderLovely</p><p>QueenSarabiii</p><p>purehoney</p><p>
  <b>My Wattpad readers:</b>
</p><p>Sufi_Angelica</p><p>ladyzaberth</p><p>Just_A_Person_Hi</p><p>Sanne250106</p><p>cassiex113</p><p>0MaikO</p><p>ILOVELEVI4EVER</p><p>isaam_a</p><p>May707070707</p><p>StefanyCarvalho1</p><p>torirokieluv</p><p>rubyhough10</p><p>XxDeathlyFlowerxX</p><p>joshaya4everstydia</p><p>HarleyBachiller</p><p>Audrey_Whitehead3230</p><p>otaku_trask</p><p>Kimetsu_no_Reads</p><p>leviscumbath</p><p>Midoriyasrighthand</p><p>mrios11</p><p>Charrose007</p><p>
  <b>My Tumblr reader:</b>
</p><p>ramingante</p><p>If you wrote a comment and I didn't mention you, please let me know! But so far I think I got everyone.</p><p>There's so much I want to say, but maybe later on, I'll add more things. </p><p>Thank you so much for commenting, no matter how big or small the comment is, I always loved to read them and they encourage me a lot.</p><p>A part of me doesn't want to let go but everything comes to an end. Maybe one day, when everything calms down and AOT ends, I'll continue Maria and Levi's story ... For now, all I can say is thank you.</p><p>To celebrate, here is some fanart of One Last Time!</p><p>
  
</p><p>Maria by ramingante</p><p>
  
</p><p>Maria and Levi's portrait drawing by lonelypalmtree</p><p>
  
</p><p>One Last Time last scene</p><p>by Katie/kjw</p><p>Here is the link to my wattpad if you want to see some <strong>One Last Time</strong> fanart: <a href="https://www.wattpad.com/story/233022548-one-last-time">https://www.wattpad.com/story/233022548-one-last-time</a> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>Thank you all again, I hope you continue living your life as it it was your One Last Time!</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>See you all ... until next time!</em> </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Extras Chapters + New Story</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Read more about Levi and Maria's relationship, extra chapters will be filled with fluff, angst and smut. </p><p> </p><p>Now you can read <span class="u"><em><strong>One Last Time: The Lost Chapters</strong></em></span> here:</p><p>
  <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28347288/chapters/69452691">https://archiveofourown.org/works/28347288/chapters/69452691</a>
</p><p> </p><p>Also available, its<em><span class="u"><strong> One Last Time: One More Time</strong></span></em> (Leah and Erwin's love story) you can read here: </p><p>
  <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28348131/chapters/69454842">https://archiveofourown.org/works/28348131/chapters/69454842</a>
</p><p> </p><p>There's also a new Levi x Reader story I am currently working on in case you all want to read. Its called<span class="u"><strong><em> Death Can Wait</em></strong></span> and you can read here:</p><p>
  <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27791740/chapters/68037199">https://archiveofourown.org/works/27791740/chapters/68037199</a>
</p><p> </p><p>All these stories you can find in my profile. </p><p>Thank you for the support you are giving my story. As always, I like to pamper you all with new content whenever I can. I think you all will enjoy my work. Once again thank you! And see you next time!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. One Last Time: Once Again (Sequel Chapter Preview)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Levi never knew what terror was until he saw men pointing their guns at his pregnant wife and one-year-old daughter.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>After working at the teashop he came back home exhausted, with the thought that today was going to go peacefully just like any other. But his heart begged to come out of his body as it began pumping against his chest at the horrible sight.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He wanted to kill them, to make them suffer for even daring to touch what was precious to him. But it was five of them, all of them with a gun and as fast as Levi could be, he knew that he couldn't surpass the speed of a bullet.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You know what to do right? It shouldn't be too hard for a man like you to do this," Mr. Dietrich had hate towards the Flaherty family. Since Mr. William Flaherty married the woman he loved and because of him she died, he always had hate towards him and his family. Not only that but it didn't help that Mr. Flaherty had led a revolution against the royal families and put him and his family in danger.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I'll finally get my revenge, that damn family has always been cursed," Mr. Dietrich smiled as he pressed his gun further into the skin of Maria. "I won't kill the damn bastard but someone raping his girl should pain him enough."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And Levi didn't want to do it, but what he could he do? He was being followed by two men to make sure he did the job and even if he got to kill one or the two, it was futile. Because he had to come back with the two bastards as proof that he finished the job.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He had no time to think, he was desperate. He just wanted Maria and his daughter, Kutchel, to be safe. Levi wanted to die as he thought of Maria's words.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You should quit your job, working as an assassin for a royal family will only harm us in the long run."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But he needed the money, especially back then when Maria was pregnant with Kutchel. Just once, he will do it just one more time so he could open up his teashop and buy Maria a house.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>His peaceful life was about to start.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But it ended two years later.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He did it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And when he came back home, he found three living men.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And two dead bodies.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Ackermans disgust me," Mr. Dietrich said as he walked past Levi. "If she wasn't born with such last name ... She wouldn't have been forced into living underground."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But he saw that the young man was too far gone to even listen. Probably watching the two bloody and dead bodies of his wife and daughter traumatized him. But he didn't care, his job was done. Nicholas Flaherty, the last of his family must have found out by now that someone had raped his woman.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>This what they deserved, that entire family has always been cursed. Since he was a child he had always hated his cousin and now even more. William took the woman he loved and had a bastard child with her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And the Ackermans, that the only thing they were good for was to fight and kill. But if only they fought sooner, if they didn't hide like cowards. If only ... if only ...</em>
</p><p>
  <em>If only they had never been born into this world.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She wouldn't have suffered so much. She wouldn't be dead and he wouldn't have suffered.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"All you Ackermans are better off dead ... You are only a threat to the royal families and king," Mr. Dietrich only saw one tear roll down Levi's eyes. He didn't move, he didn't even look like he was alive.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"But looking at you now ... You don't look so much like a threat," he said.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Mr. Dietrich took one last look at the bodies on the wooden floor. Blood and broken bones, white dresses turned into red and messy brown hair that contrasted that of the child's black hair.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Placing a hand on the young man's shoulder, he gives Levi one last sympathetic look. This was for the best, now those two wouldn't suffer.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>No more Ackermans to threaten the royal families and as far as he knows Levi was the last one. But looking at the old man, he knew that there wasn't much he could do. Maybe he will even commit suicide.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But Mr. Dietrich didn't care.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Isn't that right? ... Mr. Alon Ackerman?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>Levi wanted to scream but he couldn't.</p><p>As he opened his eyes and looked around his office, he realized that everything was a nightmare and that the terror he lived wasn't true. However, he was crying and felt a knot on his throat as he tried to contain the tears.</p><p>This wasn't the first time.</p><p>Some days his nightmares would become extremely explicit, feeling the disgust on his body and himself. He would feel the pain inflicted on her and every punch and kick, every scream and plead. Her begging him to stop hurting her, to stop all actions because it hurts her. The night that he did it, how he picked up her dress and entered her.</p><p>The whiplash impacting her bare back, the knives that craved her skin, and the cigarettes that burned her.</p><p>The feeling of wanting to die.</p><p>In his nightmares, Levi was all the pain Maria felt in her life.</p><p>In every dream, Levi was Alon Ackerman, the man who hurt the person he loves the most.</p><p>
  <em>"I'm not an Ackerman ... I am not an Ackerman,"</em>
</p><p>He tried to convince himself of lies and tried to create his own imitation of the truth. Because at the moment that was the only thing pulling him through.</p><p>Life has been hard for the two of them and although they have been dating for a year now, things weren't easy. Maria still had traumas and wasn't able to sleep at night without a candlelight on.</p><p>Levi also had his problems but wasn't vocal about them since he didn't want to make Maria worried so he kept quiet most of the time.</p><p>They took care of each other and although they were happy to an extent ... things weren't the same.</p><p>And they never will.</p><p>Hearing two knocks on his office door, Levi quickly cleaned the tears off his eyes and cleared his throat. "Come in."</p><p>"Hey Levi, do you have those reports ready?"</p><p>It was Erwin who was waiting for Levi to finish his report. Supposedly, he was going to finish it in an hour but it was taking too long and he came to see him. After all, he was tired as well and wanted to go home.</p><p>"I am sorry, let me just sign some papers. I'll be done soon," the short man said, not looking at his blond friend.</p><p>However, Erwin was very picky about things. He had an eye for situations like this and it was easy for him to tell that Levi wasn't at his best.</p><p>Humanity's strongest soldier looked weak, pale as a rosy color decorated the corner of his eyes and nose. More visible dark circle under his eyes and if Erwin didn't know better, he could bet Levi had lost some weight.</p><p>"Are you alright?" It was something stupid for Erwin to ask because he already knew that he wasn't but it was just a matter of whether Levi was going to lie or not.</p><p>"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"</p><p>Lies. Again.</p><p>Erwin watched the man sitting on his desk, writing perfectly as he signed each document. Always on the same spot, just like a machine.</p><p>It wasn't to Erwin surprise that Levi had indulged himself in his work after what happened. At first, Levi had stayed a couple of months with Maria because the thought of leaving her alone was unbearable to him.</p><p>But now, he works long shifts. From 6 a.m. to 11 p.m. and Erwin knew that by his next comment he was going to step into dangerous territory but he didn't see any other way.</p><p>"It hurts doesn't it?" the blond man says. "Looking at her hurts you?"</p><p>He saw his friend slowly turning around and looking at him in the eyes. Erwin has never been scared of him but there were moments in which he knew it was better to stay away from Levi. He wrinkled his eyes just a little, his thin eyebrows were placed in directions that showed concern and even amusement.</p><p>"What are you talking about?"</p><p>"Maria is not who used to be," Erwin takes a few steps forward as he crosses his arms in front of his chest. "And now every time you look at her, you can only think of the past you had with her ... When you both were happy."</p><p>It took a moment of silence for Levi to registered what had Erwin said and although he wanted to say the contrary, his eyes betrayed.</p><p>"I am happy with her too now."</p><p>"No, you are not," the commander's voice was firm. Unlike Levi, he didn't have any doubts about the situation while Levi began to question his principles every time Erwin speaks. "Because this Maria ... it's not the Maria you fell in love with."</p><p>Levi's eyes adverted to the documents he was signing and a sudden want to burn off all of them came across his mind. He took a long time creating these reports but all he wanted now was to destroy them.</p><p>He wanted to do many things but to continue listening to the truth that came out of Erwin's lips.</p><p>"The Maria you knew died before you could rescue her Levi, don't blame it on yourself," Erwin knew his words were harsh. But it was terrible to see Levi pretending to feel something he wasn't. "She had to change ... because that was what was necessary to survive."</p><p>For a few seconds, Erwin saw how Levi's right hand began to tremble. The pen he held in his hand was about to break, but it didn't. Instead, it just fell on the paper, the ink plastered on the document.</p><p>"You don't know anything," Levi says as he stands up from his chair. Taking small but firm steps, he goes to the window of his office and stares off into the distance. "Maria was my home ... she was like a safe place for me ... she was my whole life in a person."</p><p>The Commander watched him from afar, Levi's back facing him and for a moment he thought that this might be Levi's breaking point. He didn't want anyone to see his face but in his voice, Erwin could already tell so much.</p><p>"After being tortured for over a month, the first night she came back here, I saw her wounds," Levi gazed at the training fields underneath him, how the snow slowly began to fill the ground and how soldiers began to disperse as they try to find a warmer place to go.</p><p>"The deep cuts in her body ... the burned skin ..."</p><p>He hated talking about it because every time he remembers it, the hate inside of him would grow bigger and bigger. Completely blinding him.</p><p>"Hate won't take you anywhere, I am sure Maria wouldn't want you to stay in the past forever either."</p><p>At Erwin's words, Levi turns around to look at him, his dark blue eyes look straight into the tall man's eyes and at that moment Erwin knew that only a miracle could save Levi.</p><p>"How can I not?" Levi whispers. "How can't I hate them?"</p><p>Humanity's strongest soldier began to take steps closer to Erwin but the blond man wasn't intimidated, not one bit. The truth was that if Erwin could feel anything at the moment, it was pity and sorrow for his friend.</p><p>"You don't know what it feels like! Seeing her like that! Seeing how they craved their last name on her back!"</p><p>For a moment Erwin thought that Levi was going mad and that he was at his breaking point. He heard his friend's voice cracking and getting louder and he could only hope that this was what Levi needed.</p><p>"Seeing every day how the person you love hates herself and her body because of how those bastards hurt her!"</p><p>Levi was in front of Erwin and the thought of wanting to punch him to release his anger crossed his mind but it immediately disappeared and instead he just kept screaming.</p><p>"You don't hear her at night screaming in terror!"</p><p>With the idea that he was screaming at himself.</p><p>"They took everything from me! She was my everything! And they took her away from me!"</p><p>Humanity's strongest soldier found himself breathless. His respiration was agitated, his hands trembled and he didn't know how he was still standing because he felt all power in his legs gone. He wanted to drop to the ground at the thought that he was going to have another panic attack.</p><p>"And you regret it, don't you?" Erwin's voice stopped that from happening as Levi only focused on his words. "Not being able to tell her you love her."</p><p>And this time it was Levi the one backing away, taking small slow steps as Erwin moved forward, and with each word the Commander said, the more Levi would walk backward.</p><p>"And the reason why you can't say it now ... is because this Maria is not your Maria anymore."</p><p>Erwin saw him move his head from side to side, trying to deny what was the actual truth and not what Levi had made up in his mind.</p><p>"She is another person now ...she's not who she used to be," Erwin said. "Therefore ... you don't love this Maria."</p><p>"Maybe you haven't realized it but, but the Maria you loved died a year ago," it was hard for Erwin to say these things because he also hated this scene. He hated to see Levi, humanity's strongest soldier, someone he thought was incapable of breaking ...</p><p>He hated to see Levi completely devastated.</p><p>"And you are grieving many things ... Her, the past, the love that you had for ... ...And the reason why you are miserable is that you are with a person you don't want to be."</p><p>But what Erwin didn't know is that he wasn't only giving the truth to Levi, but he was also breaking his dreams. The dream of one day living peacefully with her, opening a teashop, and having a few kids. That was gone because he couldn't picture himself doing that if it wasn't with her.</p><p>The idealistic dream he was fighting for was now impossible and beyond reach.</p><p>"You are forcing yourself to feel things you can't and you are loving a person who doesn't exist anymore."</p><p>His stomach felt scrambled and even felt nauseous but he knew he was unable to throw up because he hasn't been eating at all.</p><p>He couldn't breathe and he was pretty sure that he could pass out at any moment.</p><p>Levi refused to believe the words of Erwin. He denied himself of the truth because as far as he knew no truth was absolute.</p><p>If there was anything he was sure in this world was the love Maria had for him. That was what held him in one piece and the thought the Maria he loved was dead was ridicule to him.</p><p>Because if that was true, he wouldn't be living right now. He wouldn't be here and he definitely wouldn't feel the air going back to his lungs.</p><p>"You are wrong," Levi whispered as he finally got a sense of reality back. "I have no doubts that she loves me ... and that I love her."</p><p>There was a few seconds of silence in which Levi's eyes met Erwins. And with the most encouraging look, Erwin told Levi something he needed to hear.</p><p>"Then tell her that you love her."</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>He galloped his black horse as fast as he could, not caring how the snow was scraping his skin and it was hard for him to breathe.</p><p>When he reached his home, he opened the door and closed it behind him. Rushing to see the brunette, he took long steps to reach her room. And in the excitement of the moment, Levi forgot to knock on her door and he came inside uninvited.</p><p>And he was reminded of the truth.</p><p>Maria was in her underwear, in the process of changing into her nightgown. Her skin was no longer the same as Levi remembered it and he knew it very well because before he had filled it with kisses and now it was covered in scars.</p><p>Even the moles in her legs and back had disappeared as if her torturers had the mission to take away every single aspect of her body that Levi loved.</p><p>In the nights he couldn't sleep, Levi remembers looking at her bareback and counting every single one of her moles and like a child, playing connect the dots.</p><p>But now he could only see one thing.</p><p>
  <em>Ackerman</em>
</p><p>He could only wonder how many times did they go over her skin with a knife for it to be craved into her body in form of a scar. How many times did they hurt her until the point that all of her body except her face was covered in ugly scars?</p><p>And every single one of them was a reminder to Levi of all the times he should have been there to protect her.</p><p>Did she cry for help? Did she scream in pain? Did she wish that he was with her?</p><p>The story repeats itself, doesn't it?</p><p>Because this is what Nicholas must have felt the moment he found Maria bleeding in her home after being raped.</p><p>
  <em>"I am asking you ... Please, never say a word to her about this and serve her as her protector ... Don't be involved with her romantically ... Just stay away and watch her be happy."</em>
</p><p>Was this really the only way to break the cycle of suffering?</p><p>Levi didn't want to believe it, he denied himself of the truth and wished to keep living for the sake of an unrealistic dream.</p><p>But then he saw Maria's eyes.</p><p>Her caramel eyes that he used to love so much, the glow in her eyes that was no longer there. Completely gone, dead.</p><p>But it was more than that, she was ashamed. Embarrassed by her body and he could tell because there was pink in her cheeks and had a red nose. Before all of this happened, they had become comfortable with seeing each other's naked bodies. In their intimacy and even just in regular basis, they were comfortable with one and the other.</p><p>And he hated how much she was embarrassed by it now. Levi knew that it was futile and that no matter how many things he says, it won't be easy to make her believe that she is still as beautiful as when he first met her.</p><p>Yes, to Levi he didn't care about the permanent scars nor how ugly Maria may think she looks. She was broken but still beautiful even when her long brown hair was gone. Even when her short hair reached just below her chin.</p><p>But even he knew ... that no amount of beauty could compare to how beautiful her soul was.</p><p>Before all of this.</p><p>His Maria was gone.</p><p>"I am sorry," he watched Maria quickly cover herself with one of the bed's blankets, and to avoid eye contact he turned around and gave her his back. He unconsciously closed his eyes to prevent himself from seeing anything Maria didn't want him to see.</p><p>But it also served as a way to prevent himself from shedding a tear.</p><p>And all he could do was to stay with her and hope that things would go back just the way they used to be.</p><p>And before his voice cracked, Levi whispered one last sentence.</p><p>" ... We need to talk."</p><p>But sometimes staying in the past just brings demise.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>A/n: I can't believe AOT's manga is officially ending this April 9th. It's sad to let it go and but to be honest with you all, it has inspired me to write the sequel of OLT. Now, I am just waiting to see how the manga ends so I can give a proper conclusion to this story so it can fit the canon story at its best.</p><p>After the manga ends, I would just have to make a few changes to the ending of this story.</p><p>Now I want to say, that this sequel won't be the ending of the OLT book series. I was thinking about it but I thought that it was just going to be one big book and I didn't like that idea. So it goes like this:</p><p><em>One Last Time</em>: Covers past events from AOT's canon timeline.</p><p><em>One Last Time (Once again) the sequel</em>: covers AOT's season 1-3</p><p><em>One Last Time: (The Last time) the final book of the trilogy</em>: Covers time skip + Season 4</p><p>I took this decision to keep the books manga spoiler-free. Since by the time the final season pt.2 of AOT airs (2022), the last book of the trilogy will be released around the same time.</p><p>In other news since this is the sequel I thought it will be nice to draw small light-hearted comics about OLT. Since this story is gonna have its sad moments (well a lot), I wanted to add some fluff by adding my fanart and few comic ideas. You all can drop drawing requests too related to OLT or AOT in general. But if u find the drawings cringy let me know and I'll stop lol.</p><p>So, let's start by showing you Maria's concept design at the beginning of OLT and after she came back from the underground.</p><p>
  <em> <span class="u">Maria Turret Design 1</span> </em>
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</p><p>With her design, I wanted to show her confidence, youth, and beauty. She is definitely confident and happy with the way she is. I am not very good at drawing anime style (or drawing overall lol) but I tried my best. I don't know why but in a lot of fanfiction when the protagonist has brown eyes and brown hair they automatically make them act clumsy or make them feel like they are not attractive enough. With Maria, I wanted to do the opposite and actually show her beauty and make her feel confident about it even when she doesn't have the most distinguishable looks.  Also that sometimes she doesn't brush her hair because Levi always likes to do that for her.</p><p>Levi felt attracted to her at the beginning because she is clean, smells good, and takes care of her appearance, something he also does.</p><p>
  <b> <span class="u">Maria Ackerman design 2</span> </b>
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</p><p>Second design and with this one I wanted to show how much Maria changed. She definitely looks sad and the glow in her eyes disappeared. I also wanted for her to look uncomfortable because she hates wearing pants and very much prefers to wear dresses but since she hates the way her body looks she prefers to cover the entirety of her body. You would only see her wear dresses (grandma or nun dresses) or garments that cover all of her body.</p><p>This is why the ending of OLT has more impact. Imagine how Levi felt the moment he saw Maria walking up to the hill wearing the dress she used to wear when she first met him? After 5 years of watching Maria being uncomfortable with her body, he finally sees her embracing herself again. It was like there was a small light of hope at the end of the tunnel.</p><p>On the last note, I wanted to talk to you all about Maria's character development at the end of OLT.</p><p>Maria since the beginning was a flawed character. She wanted to please everyone and pretty much followed the flow and did whatever other people told her to do. She always did things for the sake of others instead of living for herself and many other things.</p><p>She was weak.</p><p>Does it mean that weak people deserved pain? Absolutely not.</p><p>But that's how the world in AOT works.</p><p>When Maria freed the girls from the Ackermans, she knew what was at stake. She could have gone with them and have the opportunity to see Levi and her friends again.</p><p>But she stayed back.</p><p>She gave up on that possibility. She knew that Levi wanted to be with her, that he loved her. She knew Nicholas, Leah, and Lisa and the rest of her friends would have wanted for her to come back alive.</p><p>And instead of following or doing what other people wanted her to do, Maria decided to do something for herself.</p><p>And she did it for two things:</p><p>1.Because she learned to live for herself, not caring about what people wanted from her.</p><p>2.Because it was the right thing to do.</p><p>By distracting the Ackermans and giving time for the girls to escape, Maria acted selflessly. She took the burden nobody wanted to take, willing to give up her life for the sake of others knowing she was going to get nothing in exchange.</p><p>Maria did not only have a character development but she became a heroine by acting in service of the greater good.</p><p>Anyways, I just kind of wanted to remind you all of this because, in the sequel I don't want her character development to be overlooked. She is going to do and act differently because she DID change, whether it's for the worse or better.</p><p>I am never going to explicitly say things in my story. I like for my readers to think about these concepts and a lot of things in OLT it's up to the reader's interpretation. This is my interpretation of Maria's character development but you may have yours and that's completely fine as well!</p><p>I honestly can talk about hours about Maria, Levi, Nicholas, and Elise's development in the story but I prefer for you all to make your own conclusions.</p><p>As always if you have any questions, feel free to ask in the comments. As well that I accept <em>constructive criticism</em>.</p><p>If you think the story is bad, just don't say it's bad, please explain why so I can improve in my writing lol.</p><p>For the sequel, <b><span class="u">I am looking for beta-readers</span></b> so if anyone is interested in proofreading the sequel of OLT please let me know in the comments or send me a message!</p><p>Thank you so much for the support, this may not be the most popular nor the perfect story but I do have a lot of love and passion for it and I hope I can reflect that with my writing.</p><p>And now I leave you with this short comic! Once again, thank you for reading One Last Time and I'll see you very soon!</p><p>
  
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</p><p> </p><p>Comic Strip:</p><p>
  
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Also for One Last Time trilogy updates, fanart and small comics, and other fanfic reviews follow @OneLastTime_1 on Twitter! </p><p>  <a href="https://twitter.com/onelasttime_1/status/1379259100370976769?s=12">Click here to go to One Last Time's Twitter</a></p><p>Thank you! &lt;3</p>
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